The Earth experience
by Randomuser9001
Summary: A weird god appeared in team RWBY's dorm and said that Ruby won a contest that she dind't know about and gave her access to a site called youtube (bullshit). Now they sit and watch videos.WARNING:Randomness and dank memes
1. Prologue

**I don't own anything except for my OC. My english are not perfect so expect some grammar mistakes. Also warning this story is pretty random and dank.**

**Prologue**

It was Saturday morning. Team RWBY was in their dorm .Weiss was filing her nails,Blake was reading a book,Yang was playing video games on her scroll and Ruby was taken over by boredom.

"I'm bored."Ruby said."So BOOOOREEED."

"Can you please stop whining?Thank you."Weiss said.

"It's been one week since the fight at the docks! If I don't do anything in the next minute I'LL EXPLODE!"

"Well,it's not like something exciting is going to happen in the next minute-"she got interrupted when everyone got a message on their scrolls.

"Did you all get a message from an unknown number?"Yang asked

"Yes."The rest of the answered.

"That says that we must go to the cafeteria?"

"Yes"

"Should we go?"Blake asked.

"We won't find out unless we go."Ruby said.

They got up from their beds and left the dorm.

*_Some minutes later*_

Team RWBY entered their dorm and they were upset.

"I can't believe it!"Ruby said

"What a waste of time!"Weiss said

"I stopped reading my book for nothing!"Blake said

"When I find the one who sent the messages i'll... why is there a couch and a TV in our dorm?"Yang they entered they saw a red couch and a TV.

"And who is that sleeping on the couch?!"Blake said. Indeed there was someone sleeping on the looked like a 18 year old boy. He had short ash blonde hair and he was wearing a red shirt,jeans and black sneakers.

"HEY WAKE UP!"Yang shouted.

"AHHHH"The strange guy screamed as he woke up and fell on the ground."Oh did I fall asleep?"The he noticed the the four angry girls.

"Who are you? What are you doing here? And what are those stuff doing here?"Weiss asked.

"Are you the one who sent those messages?"Ruby asked.

"ANSWER GODDAMIT!"Yang said after he grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

"Hey slow down.I'll answer your questions , now will you please let me down?"The stanger said calmly and she let him off."First of all my name is Nova Light and I'm here to make an announcement . The couch and the TV have to do with the announcement and yes I did sent those messages. Now which one of you is Ruby Rose?"

"I'm Ruby Rose."Ruby answered.

"Then let me be the first to say CONGRATULATIONS!YOU WON!"Nova then gives Ruby a bouquet,a tiara and a ribbon that says _YOU'RE A WINNER._

"I won?I WON! What did I win?"

"You won the 2nd multiversal surprise contest!"

"You participated in a contest like this?"Weiss asked.

"No I didn't."Ruby answered.

"Then how you won a contest that you never took part in?"Blake asked.

"I can explain that. It all started 10 minutes ago..."Nova said looking up to start the flashback but nothing happened.

"Why are you looking up?"Yang asked

"To start the flashback. It won't work unless all of you look up."Nova explained and then looked up."It all started 10 minutes ago..."

_*FLASHBACK*_

We see Nova sitting on his couch in his giant mansion watching dank memes compilations.

**Video:What's 9 plus 10?21.**

Then Nova started laughing non stop.

"Oh I love dank memes."Nova said while laughing. He loved Earth's enetrainment because it was the most famous and entertaining in the known universe."But it's not as fun as watching them with company though."He didn't any company because he was the only inhabitant on his tiny planet."What to do now?I could always go to Goku's universe. Sparring with him is fun,even if he's weaker than me. Or I could go to another universe."

He then snapped his fingers and a wheel of fortune appeared out of wheel had a bunch of random names.

"Let's see who's the lucky winner."And he spun the wheel and eventually it stopped at a name. "Ruby Rose. This is going to be interesting."He then put his index and middle finger on his forehead and disappeared(instant transmission).

_*END OF FLASHBACK*_

"I appeared outside the building and sent you the messages so I can prepare the stuff but at the end I fell asleep on your couch and the you came in. That 's how it happened."Nova explained.

The girls of course did not believe him.

"Do you really expect to believe this?"Weiss said. "Everything you said doesn't make sense. Tiny planets,dank memes,wheel of fortune,different universes,teleportation. If you won't tell us who you really are and why are you here-"

"It's true!I'm a god from another universe!"

"Yeah right and I'm the queen of the world."

"You look more like an ice princess."

The girls,except Weiss,were trying to hold their laughter. Weiss stared at them with shock."STOP LAUGHING!"She said."If you're really a god then prove it".

"Ok."Nova said. He then raised his hand and the girls started floating.

"What's happening?!"Yang asked

"We're floating!"Blake said

"PUT US DOWN!"Weiss said, holding her skirt down. He lowered his hand and the girls stopped floating.

"Do you believe me now?"Nova asked

"I still don't believe you are a god. That could be just your semblance."

"What's a sem-you knoow what it doesn't matter." He then snapped his fingers but nothing happened.

"Nothing happened"Ruby said

"That's what you think . All of you press your boobs."

"WHAT?!"All of them yelled.

"You heard me. Press your boobs with your fingers."

The girls did that and a squeak was heard from. They did it again just to confirm it and another squeak was heard.

"Did our breasts just made a squeaky sound?"Yand asked

"Yeah."Nova said

"How?"Ruby said

"I'm a god.I can do whatever I want if I imagine it ,except of predicting the future, time-travelling and bringing back the dead."

"Yeah but why squeaky sounds?"Blake asked.

"Because it's funny and adorable."

The girls blushed by this comment.

"Do you believe me now?"

All the girls just accepted that he is a god before he does something else.

"Ok we believe you. What did you say I win?"Ruby said.

"You won access to the most famous website,Youtube."Nova said

"That's it?Just access to a site?"Ruby asked with disbelief.

"What did you expect?An object from another planet?Magic powers?Money?"

"Well yeah,something like that."

"Keep dreaming loli."

"What's a loli?"Yang asked

"It means little girl"Nova answered.

"Oh."

"So what is youtube?"Blake asked

"It's a site where people upload videos."Nova explained

"We have sites like that."Yang said

"But this is from another planet,from a another world. When are you gonna have a chance like this?"

Then a notification sound was heard from Nova's phone."Hmm what now?YES!Finally!"

"What is it?"Ruby asked

"I started online dating a few days ago and someone asked me for a date and i'ts in...1 Hour?She must be in a hurry to meet me."He answered."I have to get ready. You can start without me,check the trending or watch some dank memes. Oh and be sure to keep it a secret. See you soon."He said and then he instant transmissioned out of the room.

"What do we do now?"Blake asked.

"I guess we check the trending videos."Ruby said.

**And was the prologue of the story **_**The Earth experience.**_**I hope you liked it.**** Don't forget to leave a review. See ya.**


	2. The first experience

**I**** do not own anything except my OC.W****ARNING:Randomness and dankness**

**Chapter 1:The first experience**

It's been 3 days(3 DAYS!) since Nova went to Remnant to give Ruby Rose access to youtube. After he left and after his date(which was terrible) he decided to do some research about this planet and decided to pay team RWBY a visit to see how they were doing. Then he teleported to their dorm and saw them watching dank meme compilations but he also saw 4 other people.

**Guy 1:All women are queens.**

**Guy 2:If she breathes,she's a THOOOT!**

**Then they start fighting.**

Everyone started laughing.

"Yeah I know it's pretty funny."Nova said surprising everyone.

"Nova! You're here!"Ruby said

"Yeah,you're not going to get rid of me that easily."

"How was your date?"Yang asked.

"My date was ok until I found out that she was in a cult."

"What kind of cult?"

"The kind that sacrifice people. Especially babies."His answer shocked everyone.

"Oh my god!"Weiss said

"That's terrible!"Blake said.

"I know right?Anyway,who are these people?"Nova said

"Oh this is team JNPR ."Ruby said.

"Hey,how it's going?"Jaune said

"Nora."

"Hi,I'm Nora!"Nora said happily.

"Pyrrha."

"It's nice to meet you."Pyrrha said.

"And finally Ren."

"Hey."Ren said

"It's nice to meet all of you."Nova then turned to Ruby."I think I told you to keep it a secret."

"Yeah,we're sorry but we couldn't hide it from them,they are our friends."Ruby said.

"Mr Nova-"

"Call me just Nova kid.I don't like it when they call me mister."He interrupted Jaune.

"Ok then,Nova you can trust us."

"Your secret is safe with us."Pyrrha said.

"Yeah,besides what's the worst thing that would happen?"Nora asked

"I could erase your memories."Nova answered. Everyone again was shocked by his answer."Anyway,what do you think about the site so far?"

"It's awesome!"Ruby said

"Some of these people on youtube have done things that people here would never think of."Yang said and everyone else nodded.

"What did you see?Nova asked

"Well first of all we saw a video about Earth which is very similar to our world,except that the grimm don't exist there,people don't have aura and semblances."Weiss explained

"And there are no faunus either."Blake added."But racism still exist."

"Humans always find someone different to look superior to, unfortunately."Nova said.

"Then we checked out the trending videos on music and gaming."Yang said."The music wasn't something that impressive,except for the ones we didn't understand. Those were actually. Then we checked older songs from singers like Justin Timberlake,Beyonce,Rihanna,Black eyed peas and then we listened to even older songs which were way better from bands like AC/DC,Metallica,Guns 'n' Roses, Queen, Pink floyd, Bon Jovi and others and we stopped at Michael Jackson."

"Oh my god,he is so awesome!"Ruby said."My favourite songs are billie jean,beat it,smooth criminal and thriller."

"Mine are blood on the dance floor,in the closet and you rock my world."Yang said

"Mine is who is it and stranger in Moscow."Weiss said

"Mine are all of them,especially black or white."Blake said

"Well everyone loves the king of pop."Nova then turned to JNPR."What about you?"

"Billie jean and remember the time."Jaune said

"Mine is thriller."Nora said"I mean,the zombies,the dancing. It was awesome!"

"Mine are billie jean, rock with you and remember the time."Pyrrha said

"Smooth criminal and dangerous."Ren said

"Did you see also the concerts?"Nova said

"Yea and they were even better."Yang said."And the way he was dancing.A lot of people can dance like that but when he danced,it felt different."

"And that was only the first day!"Ruby said."The next day I checked the gaming were only fortnite stream highlights by a guy named Ninja and a lot of APEX legends gameplays,even though that game is kinda overrated and finally we searched for dank memes,as you said,which were hilarious."

"I didn't find them funny at all."Weiss said

"That's because you don't have a sense of humor."Yang said

"Oooooh, you just got roasted!"Nora and Nova said at the same time.

"Some of them were funny but most of them weren't. They didn't make any sense."Blake said.

"That's because you need to have high IQ to understand them,which apparently you girls don't have."Nova said.

"OOOOOOOOOOH!"Everyone,except the roasted ones and the quiet ones,shouted.

"SHOTS FIRED"Nora said.

"Damn son,that was sick."Yang said

"Thanks."Nova replied."Anyway,were you watching something specific now?"

"No,we were just watching memes just to kill some time."Ruby said

"Then let me put something else."He then started typing something.

"DBZ Abridged?"Ruby asked

"What is that?"Jaune also asked

"It's the parody version of the best anime ever,Dragon Ball Z."

"Why is it the best?"Ruby asked again

"Wait just a minute."He the started typing something else."Watch this video while I'm out to get some food."He then teleported to order takeout. Team JNPR was surprised by this ability.

"That's a very cool trick."Jaune said.

"Yang start the video."Ruby said.

"Ok."Yang said and started the video

**(Video titles:High speed battle: Goku vs Cell-Dragon Ball Z/Goku vs Cell Point blank)**

**The video starts with Goku evading with super human speed Cell's attacks.**

"Wow,that's very fast."Ruby said.

"What is that monster that guy is fighting?"Weiss

"I don't know,but for a monster its face is beautiful. And that perfect jawline."Yang said.

**But Cell is too fast and Goku blocks and counters every attack. They keep fighting,dashing all over the arena.**

**Krillin:Awesome!They're ridiculously fast!**

"What language do they speak?"Blake asked.

"Probably Nova knows."Ruby said

**Cell dashes to Goku and throws a punch but Goku blocks it and skids through the arena but Cell throws another punch and hits Goku's face.**

**Krillin:Goku!**

"So that guy's name is Goku."Weiss said.

"Why does that bald guy sounds like a woman?"Nora laughs with that question.

**Cell keeps punching Goku's face and gets ready to punch him with his left but Goku evades and kicks him upwards and takes the fight to the sky.**

"They can fly too?That's so cool!"Ruby said.

**Goku is about to attack but Cell disappears and reappears behind Goku to hammer him down but Goku also disappears and reappears to attack keep evading each others attacks leaving after images behind them.**

"They move so fast we can't see them."Pyrrha said.

"They are even faster than me!"Ruby said.

"The fight is incredible.I don't think there's someone on Remnant that can fight like this."Yang said.

"Only in comics."Jaune added.

"Well it is a cartoon."Ruby said without knowing the 'consequences' of calling an anime a cartoon.(TRIGGERED WEEABOOS).

**Then Goku gets to knee Cell in the stomach and punches him but Cell evades this and punches Goku. Then they stop a little to take a breath**

**Cell:You're pretty good,really! I honestly didn't think you would entertain me that much.**

"That monster's voice is very deep. It's like the 'perfect' voice."Weiss said.

**Goku:Me too.**

"Why does Goku sounds like an old lady?"Weiss said and everyone laughed with that.

**Cell:This is the way a fight has to then,I think it's about time we got going.**

"THEY WEREN'T EVEN FIGHTING SERIOUSLY?"Everyone said at the same time.

**They clash,making a sound boom and evade each other's attacks again until Goku kicks him in the face.**

"Their attacks are very powerful."Blake said.

"And the animation is very good."Ruby said and everyone nodded in agreement.

**Then Cell moves so fast he's in four places at the same time and takes Goku down to the arena. When they land they instantly move to the sides of the arena attacking and countering each other's attacks. Goku is about to lose by a ring out.**

**Krillin:Watch out!**

"Ring outs are lame"Nora said

**Goku flips behind Cell and kicks him to the side but Cell stops before he falls outside the arena and dashes to attack Goku and they both kick each other's faces. Goku lands and jumps high but Cell is already up there. Then the scene changes to another moment of the fight where they start shooting ki blasts,making a big explosion.**

"They can also shoot lasers from their hands!That's so cool."Ruby said.

"I wish I could do that."Nora said.

"Me too."Yang said.

**Everyone on the ground has a hard time standing up because of the explosion.**

**Reporter:Now there are incredible flashes of light. What is happening?**

**Piza:Satan-sama!**

**Mr Satan:It's a trick!Trick!**

"Why does he think it's a trick?Can't he see that this fight is real?"Ruby asked.

"I think he knows it's real, because he's terrified."Blake says.

**Goku dashes to Cell punching him but Cell blocks and Cell does the same but Goku blocks it ,skidding with every attack.**

**Then they grab each other's hands and try to outpower themselves, putting a lot of power,making their aura visible and the ground shake.**

"So much power."Pyrrha was shocked by this fight.

**Reporter:Shaking!The earth is shaking!Mr Satan,is that a trick too?**

**Mr Sayan is too terrified to answer.**

"That's our reaction too."Yang said

**Trunks:Incredible! Not only in speed,but they are almost equal in power too!**

**The ground starts floating by their they start attacking with high speed punches.**

"The fight is so fast and the animation is awesome too,even though it looks old."Jaune said.

"Yeah."Ruby agreed.

**Goku manages to punch Cell in the face very hard that sends him away and chases him to continue his attack but Cell gets up and shoots a lot of ki blasts.**

**Cell:HAAAAAAAAAA!**

"That scream was awesome."Ruby said.

**Goku blocks them,causing a massive explosion. Goku then flies up to unleash his ultimate attack.**

**Krillin:Goku...what are you planning to do from way up that high?**

**Goku:KA... ME…**

"What is he doing?"Nora asked

"I think he's going to do his special attack."Jaune said

"I wonder what is it going to be."Ruby said

**Piccolo:It's a kamehameha!Is Goku thinking of launching a kamehameha at full power?**

**Cell:HAHAHA!You can't shoot a kamehameha from that position!If you did,it would be a disaster for the Earth!**

**Goku:HAA...MEE…**

**Then everyone is shocked by that decision.**

Even the audience.

"He wouldn't risk blowing up the Earth just to win this fight,right?Right?"Jaune said.

**Cell:H-hey!**

**Gohan:F-father is planning to fire it!**

"IS HE INSANE?"Weiss yelled.

"That boy is Goku's son?He's so cute!"Ruby said.

**Cell:You wouldn't…**

**Goku then uses instant transmission to teleport in front of Cell.**

"He can teleport too?!"Yang said.

"These characters are very overpowered."Jaune said.

**Cell:HOLY SH-**

**Goku:HAAA!**

**Goku fires the kamehameha point blank. The blast was so powerful that Cell's upper torso blew up. Then the video ends.**

Everyone was speechless.

"THAT WAS AWESOME!"Nora said."Goku was like HAAA and the monster blew up! That was the best!"

"I want to see more of this!"Ruby said.

"Me too."Jaune said.

"Me three."Yang said.

Then all of a sudden Nova appeared with bags full of food.

"I'm back."Nova said.

"Nova,that video was amazing!"Ruby said."The fight,the moves,the explosions,the animation,they were all awesome!Can you show us more?"

"Of course. Now who wants souvlaki?"Nova said.

"You brought souvlaki?"Pyrrha asked.

"What is souvlaki?"Jaune asked.

"It's like the best food ever!I tried once when I went to Greece and I can't stop now!"Nova answered.

"Whenever my parents ordered takeout we were always taking souvlaki. They're so delicious!"Pyrrha said.

"I don't know how you wanted them so I bought one with chicken and one with pork for each of you."Everyone thanked Nova for the food."Now let's start the show."He started the video.

**And that is the end of the first next chapter is going to be the first two episodes ofDbz abridged by teamfourstar. Don't forget to leave a review. See you soon.**


	3. DBZA EP1&2

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING:Randomness,dank memes and a few grammar mistakes. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 3:TFS Ep 1 & 2**

**[****DISCLAIMER****]**

**KAISER:The following us a fan-based parody. Dragonball,Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT are all owned by FUNimation,Toei animation,Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(Scene opens up showing mountains followed by showing many wildlife until a saiyan space pod comes crashing down at a distance,startling many ostriches and farmer.)**

"Well that was fast."Yang said.

"Mmm,the food is so is that white sauce?"Blake said.

"Tzatziki."Pyrrha said.

**FARMER:Oh God,no! My marijuana patch! I mean,er... my carrot patch... yeah!**

"What is marijuana?"Ruby said.

"It's a special plant which can be used as medicine or as a drug."Nova said.

"What kind of drug?"Nora asked.

"The 'fuck you up' kind."

"Wow,don't curse in front of Ruby!" Yang said.

"Yang I'm not a kid anymor! I can handle swears!"Ruby said.

"Ok,if you say so."

**FARMER:(thinking while driving towards the explosion)I better do what any sensible Middle American would do in this situation:(pulls out a rifle). Get mah gun!**

"Best decision ever."Yang said. Most of them laughed with that.

**(Space pod opens up in a shiny light and Raditz emerges)**

**Pod:**_**Hello, and welcome to Earth... with open bar.**_

"I don't get it."Ruby said.

**FARMER:Holy crap, it's Sonic the Hedgeho—eh,no,it's an shit it's an alien!**

"Who is Sonic?"Jaune said.

"He's the fastest videogame character alive."Nova answered.

"I want to play a game like that!"Ruby said.

"You can play it after some time."

"Really?"

" Think of it as a bonus award."

**RADITZ:Finally on this dead plan-(notices wildlife around)Wait...what the crap? Did Kakarott screw this up? Oh god dammit,I knew we should've sent Turles.**

"What kind of name kakarott?"Weiss said.

"It's a pun. You'll see later."Nova said.

**FARMER:Better think of something cool to say to make him stop.(cocks shotgun while Raditz scans him with his scouter)Hey you!(thinking to himself)Genius farmer,genius!**

"That's not smart. It's the exact opposite"Blake commented.

**RADITZ: Aw, look at him. He thinks he's people. What's your power level, little human? (checks his power level with scouter) Five, huh?**

"He doesn't even take him as a person?That's so bad!"Weiss said.

"I want to punch him in the face so badly!"Yang said.

"Don't worry,he's going to get what he deserves."Nova said

**FARMER: Protect me, gun! (fires a shot at Raditz, who catches the bullet with his hand)**

"Wow,he caught a bullet like it was nothing!"Ruby said.

**RADITZ: Hey! No! Bad human! (flings the bullet back at the farmer, sending him flying at towards his truck and killing him)**

**FARMER: (extreme quickly while flying towards his truck) Gah, I voted for Bush!**

"Everyone got shocked,especially Ruby,because the saw someone die but the moment got ruined because of that last line.

**RADITZ: Bad! Now get back up and tell me you're sorry! Human? Huuuman? (sighs) So this is why Dad said I couldn't keep Appule...**

"What does a pool has to do with killing people?"Blake asked.

"Not a swimming pool,it's someone's name. It's actually apple but with different accent. It's a pun."Nova explained.

"Are all the names puns?"Yang said

"Most of them,yes."

"It's kinda creative."Blake said.

**(opening sequence; scene shifts to a wasteland, where Piccolo is standing on top of a pleateau)**

**PICCOLO: Good ol' wasteland! Yep! Sure is some kickass training!... Dammit, I'm lonely. Might as well check MySpace. (opens up his MySpace page) No new comments... No friend requests... Dammit. Well at least I have you, Tom. You're always there for me.**

"Awww,poor green man."Nora said."I'll would be his friend."

"Nora,I think he's a bad guy."Jaune said.

"Is Tom someone specific?"Ren asked.

"He is one of the founders of MySpace."Nova said.

"Then why he doesn't have any friends?"Ruby said.

"Because no one goes in MySpace."This got a few laughs.

**RADITZ: Hey! You!**

**PICCOLO: What the hell?**

**RADITZ: Are you Kakarrot? Seriously if you are, stay still! I need to talk to you about killing and selling this planet! It's really important! Oh, wait a second; you're not Kakarrot. My bad!**

"How can he mistake him for someone else? His skin is green!" Weiss said.

**PICCOLO: I've got green skin, pointy ears and a turban. Oh yeah, I must look like so many other people!**

Everyone laughed with his sarcasm.

"My point exactly!"

**RADITZ: Oh, a smartass, huh? I don't appreciate smartasses. Prepare yourself for my signature attack: Double Sun-**

**(Screen suddenly turns monochrome and the scene pauses)**

**VEGETA3986: No!**

**LANIPATOR: Huh?**

**VEGETA3986: Give me the mic!**

"What's going on?"Ruby said.

"Technical difficulties"Nova said.

**LANIPATOR: What-? No-come on, man!**

**VEGETA3986: Dude- Give me the mic!**

**(A picture of the original DragonBall appears on screen with the words 'We are experiencing technical difficulties' superimposed over the top and bottom.)**

"OMYGOD!They're all so cute!"Ruby said.

"Wait,is that Goku? I thought he was blonde!" Yang said.

"It's a transformation."Nova explained.

"A transformation?"Jaune asked.

"Yeah,you'll see later."

**LANIPATOR: It's a real attack na-**

**VEGETA3986: NO IT ISN'T!**

**LANIPATOR: Fine! Here, take it. I'll just go practice my Vegeta. Ass!**

This got a few laughs.

**(Scene rewinds and starts over)**

**RADITZ: (in a different voice) Now prepare yourself for my signature attack: Keep Your Eye on the Bir- (scouter beeps) Oooh! A higher power level!**

**(Raditz flies higher in the air and looks around)**

**PICCOLO: (off-screen) Hey! What the hell! Weren't you going to kill me?**

"Haha,he ignored him!Yang said.

**RADITZ: Ah, there we go. Considering the average set by this one green guy and that farmer, the chances of this being Kakarrot are- Dah, screw it, I'll just go and check!**

**(Raditz flies off)**

**PICCOLO: Fine! Go ahead! I didn't want your company anyway! Right Tom?**

"He's so lonely."Pyrrha said.

"That's because he's evil and lives in wastelands."Nova said

"He doesn't have a house?"Nora said.

"No."

**(scene changes to Kame House with Bulma's ship arriving and Bulma walking towards the front door)**

**BULMA: Hey, I'm here!**

**KRILLIN: BOOBS! I mean, Bulma!... Hi!**

"Nice."Yang said

"How rude!"Weiss said.

**BULMA: Oooooooookaaaaaaaay, how's it going?**

**MASTER ROSHI: I'm drinking OJ! (cup changes to brown) Now it's apple juice! (cup changes to orange) Now it's beer! Yay beer! (chugs down beer)**

"I don't get it."Ruby said.

"Some networks don't want to show people drinking or smoking so they censor it by saying it's something else."Nova said.

"I wish I could do that! I would turn all the foods into pancakes and every beverage into syrup! It would be a sweet paradise!"Nora said

**KRILLIN: So where's Yamcha?**

**BULMA: I think the bastard's cheating on me!**

**KRILLIN: Why do you say that?**

**(flashback of Bulma walking in on Yamcha)**

**YAMCHA: (appears as a silhouette) Bulma! It's not what it looks li- oh okay, it's totally what it looks like. Can I still live here? Please? Before this I was living in the desert. Oh, and did you change Puar's litterbox yet?**

**PUAR: (appears as a silhouette) I made boom-boom!**

Everyone laughed with that.

"I made boom-boom."Yang said mimicking Puar's voice.

"That's so mean!"Blake said.

"Wait,I just noticed something!Was he having sex with that cat?"

"Yes."Nova answer brought disgust and more laughs to everyone's faces.

**(back to present)**

**KRILLIN: Oh, are you serious? Yamcha? Oh, that is so out of char- so you're single then?**

**(Goku jumps off Nimbus walks towards the front door)**

**GOKU: Hey guys!**

**(Bulma opens the door with Krillin running up after her)**

**BULMA: Goku!**

**KRILLIN: TAIL- eh, wait, what?**

**(Goku laughs and holds up his arm)**

"Goku's son is so cute! And he has a tail!"Ruby said.

"Is he a faunus?"Blake asked.

"No,he is half alien."Nova said.

"What!"Everyone said.

"You'll see later."

"Also his hair is also can also transform?" Ren asked.

"Yes."

**BULMA: Uh Goku. I can't help but notice that five-year-old you're carrying.**

**KRILLIN: Goku, just because we picked you up in the middle of the woods when you were a kid doesn't mean you can go around stealing children.**

"WHAT?!" Everyone said.

"Goku was living alone in the woods so they thought that he wouldn't knows what sex is."Nova explained.

"Aaahh." Everyone said.

"Well that makes sense."Yang said.

**GOKU: Erm, okay. (places Gohan on the ground) This is actually my son.**

**(Krillin, Bulma and Master Roshi are shocked along with the head of M. Night Shyamalan popping up)**

**M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN: What a twist!**

Everyone laughed

**BULMA: Oh wow! I guess this means you finally, you know.**

**GOKU: Know what?**

**MASTER ROSHI: (appearing right next to Goku) You know, "Bow chicka wow wow."**

**GOKU: (completely oblivious) What are those noises you're making?**

**BULMA, MASTER ROSHI: (thinking simultaneously) Oh my God, he's a parent!**

"He isn't a great father,isn't he?"Ruby said.

"No."Nova said.

**KRILLIN: So when's the little guy gonna start training?**

**(Gohan is seen playing with Turtle)**

**GOKU: Actually, Chi-Chi is making him study. She wants him to grow up and be... what's it called?**

**KRILLIN: A productive and responsible member of society?**

**GOKU: Yeah- lame, that's it! (to Gohan) Hey son, come here! (Gohan runs towards Goku) Stop playing with the turtle! We don't need people saying things...**

The loud ones laughed with that.

"Being normal is so lame."Ruby said.

"Totally."Nora said.

"Excuse me but being a productive and rensponsible member of society is very important and it's not lame."Weiss said.

"Yeah but they don't fight grimm or save the world,so it's kinda lame."Ruby said.

"You have a point,but if it weren't for these people,all the fun stuff wouldn't exist." Nova said.

"You're right. Sorry."

**BULMA: Hey, is that a DragonBall on his head? Doesn't that sorta make him a target for villains who might want them?**

**GOKU: Aw, come on. I beat Piccolo. I'm strong enough to beat anyone who- (senses a disturbance) holy black on a Popo, what is that?!**

**MASTER ROSHI: What's wrong?**

**GOKU: I just felt a power level bigger than... than... Krillin's losing streak!**

"BURN!"Nora said.

**KRILLIN: (off-screen) ...You know, you guys are the reason I go to therapy...**

**"**Awww,poor Krillin."Pyrrha said.

**GOKU: (thinks) He's getting closer!**

**KRILLIN: Shouldn't we grab Gohan and put him insi- (Raditz flies down in front of the group) Oh son of a...**

"Too late."Yang said.

**RADITZ: It took me a while to get here, but I finally found you, Kakarrot.**

**GOKU: ...What?**

"He's Kakarott? So Goku is an alien who was sent to kill everyone?"Ruby said.

"Yes but he hit his head as a kid and forgot the order."Nova said

**RADITZ: That's right, that's your name.**

**GOKU: ...What?**

**RADITZ: The name you were given before we sent you to this planet!**

**GOKU: ...What?**

**RADITZ: Yooouuu... hit your head as a child, didn't you?**

**(flashback of Goku banging his head as a baby)**

Everyone winced seeing a baby hit his head.

**GOKU: ...What?**

Half of them laughed and the others just facepalmed.

"He's so dumb."Weiss said.

**RADITZ: Oh for god's sakes, listen! (display montage of Goku's Space Pod travelling to Earth and a group of Saiyans)You were sent here as a child to take over the planet. You're part of a dead race of intergalactic super warriors called the Saiyans. And to top off this expositional onslaught; I... am your brother!**

Everyone got shocked by that reveal.

**(Shows the shocked faces of Goku, Bulma, Krillin, and Master Roshi. A crab falls off a tree in total surprise)**

A few giggled with that.

**KRILLIN: So you're his brother, huh? (walks up towards Raditz) Wow, that must mean you'll be involved in lots of future events, right? Right?**

**(Raditz hits Krillin with his tail, sending him flying straight into Kame House)**

**(Krillin Owned Count: 1)**

Everyone laughed with that.

"Owned count? That's hilarious!" Yang said while laughing.

"That's so mean!"Purrha said.

**KRILLIN: What did I say?**

**GOKU: Hey! Stop hitting Krillin!**

**RADITZ: Why?**

**GOKU: Because you're breaking Kame House!**

"He doesn't even care!" Yang said laughing louder.

**KRILLIN: (offscreen, weakly) Yeah... Stop breaking Kame House...**

**GOKU: So, what are you here for? The DragonBalls?**

**RADITZ: The... the dragon's what?**

**GOKU: The DragonBalls, you know? There are seven of them. They grant any wish you want- like immortality?**

"Really?"Ruby said.

"If I had them,I would wish for infinite pancakes! I can imagine it right now!" Nora said.

"She really loves pancakes,huh?"Nova asked.

"She asks me all the time to make her pancakes." Ren said.

**OOLONG: Or Bulma's panties!**

"What a perv."Yang said.

**(cuts to Vegeta and Nappa on an unknown planet)**

**NAPPA: Vegeta, did you hear that?**

**VEGETA: Oh yeah, we're totally going to Earth to get our wish!**

**NAPPA: Yeah, we're gonna get panties! ...I mean immortality. Immortality is what I meant, right Vegeta?**

**VEGETA: ...Just get in the damn pod!**

"Who were they?"Ruby said.

"This season's villiains."Nova said.

**(cuts back to Kame House. Raditz walks towards Kame House while Bulma picks up Gohan and moves away.)**

**RADITZ: No... I'm here for you, Kakarrot.**

**GOKU: So, what are we gonna do? See a ballgame? Catch a movie?**

**RADITZ: We're going to kill everyone on the planet and then sell it for profit to an alien overlord who may or may not have destroyed our own planet. (scene shows a planet flashing and then exploding)**

"I like it that he says that like it's something normal."Yang said.

**GOKU: Oh. Well, uh, I sorta like people here, so with all due respect- (Raditz knees Goku in the stomach, sending him flying and screaming as he comes crashing down into the ground)**

"Ooohh ,that probably hurt a lot."Jaune said.

**GOHAN: (runs towards Goku) Daddy!**

**RADITZ: (walks up and grabs Gohan) I'll be taking this! Yoink! (flies away holding Gohan in his arm)**

"Hahaha,yoink."Nora said.

**GOKU: (weakly) Quick! Somebody stop him! (crickets chirp in silence) Dammit, Krillin!**

"What could he do? He was sent crashing to a house!" Weiss said.

**KRILLIN: Hey! I was bitch-slapped through a house! What's your excuse?!**

**GOKU: I was kneed in the stomach!**

**(Krillin gasps and looks into the sky)**

**PICCOLO: You guys are pathetic! (Goku gasps while everyone looks at the sky and stares at Piccolo) ...What?**

"So casual."Yang said.

**(Piccolo lands in front of the group)**

**GOKU: Aw jeez... Hey look, I know you totally wanna kill me and all, but today's kind of a bad day. My brother just showed up, turns out I'm an alien, he stole my kid!**

**PICCOLO: Oh yeah; I was watching that! That was priceless! (Piccolo starts laughing while Krillin and Master Roshi stare at him in disbelief) ...Sorry for your loss.**

"He's a big jerk."Ruby said

"He's evil,of course he's a jerk."Weiss said.

**GOKU: Yeah. Anyway, wanna help me get him back?**

**PICCOLO: Whyyyyy?**

**GOKU: I'll friend you on MySpace!**

**(Piccolo stares blanky at Goku and then the scene suddenly shifts to Goku and Piccolo flying towards Raditz)**

**PICCOLO: (in his thoughts) Tom, you've been replaced!**

"Really?! A friend request on MySpace changed his mind?" Weiss said.

"He has now 2 online friends! That's a big progress." Yang said.

**(ending sequence)**

"That was nice."Ruby said.

"It has it."Nova said.

**[STINGER]**

**(Master Roshi is seen holding a Crunch bar)**

**MASTER ROSHI: Now it's a Nestlé Crunch bar! (Crunch bar turns into a gummi bear) Now it's a gummi bear! (gummi bear turns into Nappa's head) Now it's Nappa!**

**NAPPA: Wait, what the hell?**

"Everyone laughed with that.

"That was so random." Pyrrha said.

"Ok ,who is ready for the next episode?"Nova said.

"Me!" All of them said.

"Wait,I just remembered something I wanted to ask you." Ren said

"What is it?"Nova said.

"In the fight,Goku teleported in front of that monster. Isn't that the same trick you do to teleport?"

"Actually yes, it is."

"Can you even shoot lasers from your hands? Can you show us?" Ruby asked.

"After the video."

"Ok now lets start the episode." Yang said. Nova then starts the video.

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(scene opens up with Goku and Piccolo flying through the air trying to track down Raditz)**

**GOKU: Hey Piccolo. Mind if I ask you somethin'?**

**PICCOLO: What is it?**

**GOKU: You're not human either, right?**

**PICCOLO: Yeah...**

**GOKU: And your dad spit you out as an egg, right?**

**PICCOLO: What about it?**

**GOKU: Are... Are you a Yoshi?**

**(Piccolo gives an annoyed look at Goku)**

"What is a yoshi?"Ruby asked

"This."Nova said showing a picture of a yoshi and everyone laughed.

**PICCOLO: (sarcastically) ...Yes, Goku. I'm a green f**king dinosaur!**

**GOKU: Can... Can I ride you?**

**(Piccolo lets out an annoyed groan)**

They laughed harder now.

**(opening sequence; scene shifts to a crying Gohan and Raditz)**

**RADITZ: Shut up. I said, shut up! SHUT UP! Damn it, why isn't screaming angrily making you cry less?! I'm going to put you in the time-out pod. (puts Gohan in his Space Pod and closes the door) (thinking) Thank sweet merciful God that's over. (out loud) Now I can just sit back and—(scouter beeps) ...beat the crap out of whoever's coming. (sighs)...Great.**

**(Raditz looks into the sky and sees Goku and Piccolo come flying down)**

**GOKU: Raditz! Give me back my son! (jumps off Nimbus) Wheeeeee!**

"Who would say wheeee in a time like that?"Weiss said.

**RADITZ: So, you're here already. And I see you brought the Namekian as well.**

**GOKU: A-actually, that hasn't been explained yet.**

"So Piccolo is an alien too,right?"Blake asked.

"Yes, he is."Nova said.

**RADITZ: Oh. Well, it's not like anyone cares about him anyway.**

**(Piccolo removes his cape and grabs his turban)**

"That was very mean. The bad guys don't show any respect."Ruby said.

**PICCOLO: Well screw you too!**

**GOKU: Piccolo, you use weighted training clothes as well?**

"Weighted clothes?"Jaune asked.

"Some people use weighted clothing for training."Pyrrha said.

"I used weighted clothing and it worked pretty well."Yang said.

"How much did you lift?"Nova asked.

"Only 20 pounds in total. I didn't want to overdo it."

"Goku and Piccolo wear 220 pounds right now."

This surprised everyone.

"Really? They're very strong!"Ruby said.

**PICCOLO: (sarcastically) No, Goku. I just love to get naked when I'm around you. (drops his turban)**

Yang started laughing.

"It wasn't that funny." Blake said.

**RADITZ: (thinking) Their power level is rising! (out loud) So, nudity makes you stronger on this planet! (unzips his pants)**

"Ewww,put it back!" Yang said

"Are they all stupid in this show?" Weiss said

"Not everyone."Nova said.

**GOKU: Uh... no. We're wearing weighted clothing.**

**RADITZ: (quickly zips up his pants and crosses his arms) Oh... Of course! Because that would be ridiculous! (laughs nervously)**

**PICCOLO: ...So that hair does compensate for something.**

Everyone laughed with that.

**(Phil Sebben's head pops up)**

**PHIL SHEBBEN: Ha ha! Dangly parts.**

**RADITZ: SHUT UP! (quickly dashes behind Goku and Piccolo and elbows both of them, knocking them off their feet.)**

**PICCOLO: Okay, what the hell was that?**

**GOKU: I don't know! But let's try it again... from behind!**

"I don't think they should shout their attacks." Pyrrha said.

**(Goku and Piccolo tries to attack Raditz from behind, who counterattacks by kicking at both of them, knocking them away)**

**PICCOLO: We really shouldn't be announcing our attack strategy!**

**GOKU: Rush him! (leaps towards Raditz)**

**PICCOLO: Damn it, Goku! (also rushes towards Raditz) Will you at least try to dodge this one?!**

"He is so stupid."Weiss said.

**GOKU: Dodge what? (Raditz fires his Double Sunday attack) OH GEEZ!**

**(Goku manages to dodges the blast, but Piccolo isn't as lucky as he loses his left arm)**

**GOKU: Ha! You missed me!**

**(Raditz appears behind Goku)**

**RADITZ: My bad. (kicks Goku, knocking him away)**

Everyone laughed.

**GOKU: (thinks) Note to self: Less talky, more fighty. (slowly gets up and look towards Piccolo) Hey Piccolo. We may be taking a beating, but at least we managed to dodge that one. (Piccolo gets up with blood dripping from his severed arm) High fi-IIIIIEEEEE! Uh... handsha—... thumbs u—... G-good job!**

"OH MY GOD!" Most of them said.

"He lost his arm!"Yang said.

**RADITZ: Ha ha! Aaaahaha! Aaaahaha! Aw, excuse me, has anyone seen my arm? You can't miss it, it's green! Ha ha ha!**

"That is not funny!" Blake said.

**PICCOLO: Yeah... Anyway, listen. I've got one more attack that should do it. Upside is, I can use it with one arm.**

**GOKU: And what's the downside?**

**PICCOLO: You'll have to distract him while I charge it...**

**GOKU: That's not too bad—**

**PICCOLO: For five minutes. And considering he beat us to a pulp in under one and—ah, never mind, I'm sure you can handle it.**

**GOKU: Wow. You really have that much faith in me?**

**PICCOLO: Yeah, sure. Why not?**

"Wow,he doesn't care at all." Ruby said.

**GOKU: Well then, I won't disappoint you. (dashes towards Raditz) Here goes nothing! Haaaaagggghhh! Ready or not, here I—(gets attacked by Raditz while the screen shifts to Piccolo) aaaaahhh!**

**PICCOLO: (in his thoughts; singing the tune of "Mahna Mahna" while Goku is getting beaten senselessly by Ratitz) Mahna Mahna do doo be-do-do. Mahna Mahna do do-do do. Mahna Mahna do doo de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do Ima chargin' my attack.**

Everyone started laughing.

"He really doesn't care!"Ruby said while laughing

"They're enemies. Of course he doesn't care. He hopes he dies."Nova said

**(Scene changes Goku getting the upper hand by grabbing Raditz's tail.)**

**GOKU: Ha! Got your tail!**

**RADITZ: Please let me go?**

**GOKU: Well, since you asked nicely...**

**(Goku lets go of Raditz's tail; who thanks him by kicking him away)**

"I can't believe it! How stupid is he?" Weiss yelled.

"Relax Weiss, it's just a show." Ruby said.

"I cannot stand his stupidity!"

**PICCOLO: (in his thoughts while Goku recieves another senseless beating from Raditz offscreen) Perhaps on second thought, a whole five-minute startup time for an attack is pretty abysmal in terms of usability in battle.**

**GOKU: (offscreen) Piccolo help! (scene changes to Goku grabbing Radiz's tail again) Ha! Got your tail...! Again!**

**RADITZ: Please let go?**

**GOKU: I'm not falling for that again!**

**RADITZ: Pretty please let me go?**

**GOKU: (once again lets go of Raditz's tail) Well... (Raditz elbows Goku, knocking him away) Oooh! Ow! Spine! (Raditz stomps on Goku's ribs) Ow! Ribs! Definitely ribs!**

"That's it! I'm not watching this anymore!" Weiss said.

"Weiss please watch it with us!" Ruby said.

"Ruby don't bother. If she doesn't want to see then we won't stop her." Nova said.

"Thank you. Now if you excuse me,I have more important stuff to do." Weiss said.

"Like what,update your status?"

Everyone laughed with that. Weiss then went to her bed defeated and embarassed and updated her status.

**RADITZ: Aha! Attacking an opponent roughly four times your strength in a one-on-one battle. A cunning strategy! No, no, no, not cunning. What's the opposite of that?**

**PICCOLO: (offscreen) Retarded?**

They laughed with that.

**RADITZ: That's it, thank you! Now, disregarding the Namekian, I—**

**GOKU: Uh-uh! A Yoshi!**

"He still thinks Piccolo is a Yoshi! That's hilarious! Yang said.

**PICCOLO: (offscreen) I'm not a god damn Yoshi!**

**GOKU: But you said you were!**

**PICCOLO: (offscreen) It's called sarcasm!**

**GOKU: What's that taste like?**

"Damn it Goku!" Yang said

**PICCOLO: (offscreen) Damn it Goku!**

**(Raditz crushes Goku's ribs)**

**RADITZ: STOP IGNORING ME!**

**GOKU: Aaah my ribs! I think you broke my...mmmmmm ribs.**

"Now I want to eat ribs." Nora said

"But you just ate." Nova said.

"You don't know how hungry she can be." Ren said.

**RADITZ: Uggggh. (stomps on Goku's ribs three more times and prepares to kill him) Stop! Ignoring! Me! AND DIE!(scouter beeps) Huh?**

**GOHAN: Stop beating up my daddy! (breaks out of Raditz's Space Pod)**

**(Gohan rushes towards Raditz)**

"Go Gohan!"Ruby said.

"Or more like Go han! Get it?"Yang said.

Everyone groaned with her pun.

"If you say another pun,I swear to myself,I'll punch you in the face."Nova said

"Wow,tough audience."

**RADITZ: Nooo, my Space Pod—(Gohan headbutts Raditz) Augh! My space armor!**

**PICCOLO: (offscreen) We get it, you're from space!**

That got a few laughs

**(Gohan lands next to Goku)**

**GOKU: G-Gohan. (GOHAN: Huh?) What... was that?**

**GOHAN: (gets up) Daddy!**

**GOKU: No-no, seriously. What the hell was that? We were getting slaughtered out there, and you could do that—(Gohan looks behind and notices Raditz) Oh, crap.**

"Oh no! Not Gohan!" Ruby said.

**RADITZ: (approaches a frightened Gohan) Uncle Raditz is PISSED! (smacks Gohan, which the screen pauses upon impact)**

**KAISERNEKO: We here at Team Four Star do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious.**

"That is so mean!" Pyrrha said.

**(Screen unpauses as Gohan is sent flying by Raditz's attack)**

**GOKU: Wait, hold on!**

**RADITZ: Oh, what? Mister Shattered Ribs is going to stop me? (begins walking towards Gohan)**

**GOKU: Listen, you don't understand! Nothing you could do could ever compare to what Chi-Chi would do to me if she found out he died!**

**(Raditz begins charging up a Ki blast at Gohan)**

**RADITZ: Well, sucks to be you!**

"His wife must be very scary when she's angry." Jaune said.

**GOKU: (thinking) I don't have any choice. I have to use my last technique!**

**RADITZ: NOW DIE! (prepares to kill Gohan)**

**(Goku grabs Raditz from behind)**

**GOKU: Full Nelson!**

"A full Nelson? Really?" Yang said.

**RADITZ: A Full Nelson? That won't work on me! I'm Raditz! (tries to break free but can't) Hurghhurgh! ...Okay, let go! (continues trying to break free, but no avail) Hurrrggrrrg! Seriously, this is starting to piss me off!**

This got a few laughs.

**GOKU: Piccolo!**

**PICCOLO: Ready!**

**GOKU: Good! Just make sure you give me a signal before you fire that thing! I'm right behind him!**

**PICCOLO: Oh sure; I'll give you a signal. It'll be the last signal you'll ever get!**

**(scene shifts to Goku as Piccolo laughs evilly offscreen)**

"He's going to kill both of them,right?" Ruby said.

"Yep" Nova said.

**GOKU: Well, okay. As long as we're clear on that.**

**PICCOLO: MAKANSA—... MAKAKASAPOP—... MEKKASAPPA—... (groans) Oh, to hell with it. SPECIAL BEAM CANNON! (fires the Special Beam Cannon at Goku and Raditz)**

Everyone laughed with that.

"That name is lame. Pfft,special beam cannon. I would have thought a better name." Ruby said.

"Like what? Blake asked.

"I don't know,something like 'evil drill beam.'"

"I prefer the original one. Makankosappo." Nova said.

"What does it mean?"Jaune asked.

"Special beam cannon."he said and everyone started laughing

**GOKU: Is that what you're going to yell out when you— (Special Beam Cannon pierces through both Goku and Raditz)OH GOD!**

**MOUNTAIN CLIMBER: Riiiiiicolaaaa— (blast hits mountain) AAAAAUUUUGH!**

Everyone got shocked with Goku's death but the moment got ruined because of the Ricola man and started laughing.

**(both Goku and Raditz hit the ground, fatally wounded)**

**RADITZ: Damn it! And there was no way I could have gotten out of there!**

**PICCOLO: You know, you could've flown.**

**RADITZ: Damn you, hindsiiiiight! Bleh. (dies)**

"Haha,bleh." Ruby said doing the sound.

"He's right though,he could've flown." Blake said.

**(Piccolo looks up in the sky and notices a ship heading towards the battlefield.)**

**KRILLIN: (from ship) Goku! After several hours of debating, we decided you might need us— (notices both Goku's and Raditz's damaged bodies) ah, crap!**

"Too late Krillin." Yang said.

**(scene shifts to Krillin holding Goku's hand while Piccolo and Master Roshi watch)**

**KRILLIN: Goku! You can't die! Here, I brought a Senzu Bean!**

**GOKU: (dying) I don't think that's gonna work.**

**KRILLIN: Why not?**

**GOKU: (dying) I sort of have a hole in my esophagus.**

**KRILLIN: Wait, then how are you breathing? (Goku slowly closes his eyes and dies) ...Goku? ...Goku? Holy crap... I'm not the first person to die in this series!**

"Before that last sentence Ruby was about to cry but the moment got ruined.(I feel like I'm repeat myself)

"Too soon!" Yang said.

**MASTER ROSHI: Krillin!**

**KRILLIN: What?**

**MASTER ROSHI: Too soon!**

**BULMA: I can't believe he's gone.**

**PICCOLO: Yeah, pity that. RRRRRRAAAAHHH! (regenerates his left arm)**

"That move surprised everyone.

"He can regenerate? That' so cool. And kinda gross,but cool."Ruby said.

"It looks painful." Jaune said.

"It is." Nova said.

**KRILLIN: (runs up to Piccolo) Wait, what the hell? You can regenerate?**

**PICCOLO: Yeah. And you know what else?**

**KRILLIN: What?**

**PICCOLO: (quickly) I'm taking Gohan. Bye! (flies off with Gohan)**

"Did he just kidnapped Gohan?"Pyrrha said.

"Somebody do something!" Ruby yelled to the screen.

**KRILLIN: Quick! Somebody stop him! (crickets chirp in silence) Damn it Roshi!**

**MASTER ROSHI: Shut up, Krillin!**

**(Krillin Owned Count: 2)**

**KRILLIN: Aww...**

Everyone laughed with that.

"Poor Krillin." Pyrrha said.

**(ending sequence)**

"New ending sequence. Nice." Yang said

**[STINGER]**

**GOKU: Gohan, do a Headbutt!**

**(in the style of Pokémon)**

**GOHAN: Gooooo-HAN!**

**"Gohan used Headbutt!"**

**(Gohan headbutts Raditz)**

**"It was super-effective!"**

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

"It's a pokemon joke." Nova said.

"What's pokemon?" Blake said.

"It's a game where you train monsters and make them fight with other monsters."

"That sounds like good game." Ruby said.

"I'll show a pokemon video after you see my kamehameha."

"Really?"

"Yeah, now lets go to the roof. How do I get to the roof?"

"We'll show you." Jaune said.

"Weiss,come on! Nova is going to shoot a laser out of his hands!" Ruby said.

"Okay I'm coming."Weiss said.

They went to the roof and everyone made space for Nova.

"Okay,here I go."he said and took a stance."KAA...MEE...HAA...MEE...". Then his hands started glowing."HAAAAA!" Then a giant energy blast was launched by his hands. Everyone was amazed by his power.

"That. Was. AWESOME!"Ruby said."How did you do that?"

"I just imagined that I can do it and I did it. But it didn't went like I wanted."

"What do you mean?" Blake said.

"It was supposed to continue in space but I think I didn't put enough power."

"So where is it going to land?" Weiss asked

"Let me see." He then scans for any life energy at the blast zone."Don't worry,it's somewhere with no life."

We go now to see a place like hell where the grimm are being born. Then we see a certain old witch. Salem was in her castle planning her next move when suddenly see saw a light from the window.

"What is that li-"before she finish her sentence the light engulfed the entire area and made a giant explosion that destroed the entire place.

We go now back to where Nova and his friends are. Suddenly they felt a tiny eathquake.

"Did you guys felt that?"Yang said.

"That's probably my attack."Nova said.

"That was your attack? How much power did you put?" Weiss said.

"Enough to turn a big city to a massive crater."

Everyone was shocked by his answer.

"Now lets go back to your dorn to watch more videos,shall we?"Everyone was still shocked but they nodded in agreement."Ok let's go."

**That was a big and tiring chapter. Next chapter will be the pokemon honest game trailer.**

**Like,follow and suggest a video in the review section. See you soon.**


	4. Honest game trailers: Pokemon

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING:Dank memes,randomness and maybe grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter3:Honest game trailers:Pokemon**

Nova is preparing the next video."Are you all ready to continue?"he asked.

Everyone said yes.

"Ok then,lets begin."

**Awesome voice man:The following is rated H for honest.** **From Nintendo, ****(shows website articles of the Wii U's failure and how Nintendo neglects the opportunity to make mobile games)**** the company that's doing fine, why do you ask? Comes the game that spawned five generations of sequels, five TV shows, one ****Magic: The Gathering**** ripoff, seventeen movies, and a god (TwitchplaysPokémon). Pokémon Red and Blue.**

"It must be a great game." Ruby said

"It is in one of the best game series ever." Nova said

**AWM:Embark on an epic journey to become a Pokémaster: someone who beats wild animals into submission, traps them inside tiny prison balls, turns them into killing machines, and forces them to repeat the process on their own brothers and sisters. It's really f***ed up if you think about it.**

"When he says it like that,it is pretty bad." Pyrrha said.

**AWM:You've gotta catch 'em all! So trade your captured Pokémon with your friends to become the very best.**

**Ian****: Hey, uh... how about I trade you my Diglett with your Charizard?**

**AWM:Or buy two copies of the game to trade with yourself like a friendless loser.**

**Ian****: (gets his other Gameboy)**** Deal!**

**(****Anthony**** looking awkwardly at Ian)**

Everyone laughed with that.

"Who were they?" Jaune asked.

"Ian and Anthony, big youtube veterans. They have a channel called Smosh. Their channel is 19 years old. As old as youtube.

"Really? That's amazing." Ruby said.

"Yeah,but Anthony left the channel a year ago."

"That's to bad." Yang said.

"It's ok. It's better for him."

**AWM:Journey to the region of Kanto where you'll interact with colorful characters like Nurse Joy, who hopes you keep ending up in the hospital; Professor Oak, a brilliant scientist who can't remember the name of his own grandson and the rival Pokémon trainer, Assfart (Green).**

Everyone started laughing.

"Is that really his name?" Yang said while laughing.

"In the game,you can write the name of your rival."Nova explained.

"That's pretty cool." Ruby said.

"Imagine what would people write, like 'lil faggot 21."

The loud ones started laughing.(you know who)

**AWM:Step into the shoes of Red, an immortal child who never eats, sleeps, or talks.**

They laughed harder with that.

"I don't get it." Blake said.

"In games like that, you never see the character eat, sleep or talk." Nova said.

**AWM:When you're sent away from home, you'll do all kinds of things that a ten-year-old never should, like wander alone through the woods, talk to strangers, gamble in a casino, hang out in the cemetery, beat up other kids' pets for money, and singlehandedly try to take down the mafia (Team Rocket).**

"And his mother doesn't say anything to him?"Weiss said.

**AWM:All so that Professor Oak has more time back home to bang your mom. ****(Professor Oak's face is replaced with a troll meme)**

"WHAT?!"everyone said and some of them started laughing,with Yang laughing the loudest.

"What was that face?" Ruby asked.

"It's a troll face,old meme." Nova said.

**AWM:Engage in a turn-base battle system with all the subtlety of rock-paper-scissors where you can fine-tune your team to have a perfect balance of attacks, then get stomped by that one kid who caught Mewtwo. So relive the games that started it all, if you're willing to overwrite your one save file or play through the barrage of sequels that Nintendo will keep putting out until they run out of colors (Gen I-V except III remake) or letters (Gen VI and III remake).**

"Couldn't they be more original?" Blake said.

**AWM:Starring 151 original Pokémon. So hold on to your butts 'cause we're doing them all. ****(inhales deeply)**

**The One No One Ever Picked (Bulbasaur)**

"Awww." Pyrrha said.

**Bloomin' Onion (Ivysaur)**

**Plantasaurus Rex (Venusaur)**

**Oh God My Tail's on Fire (Charmander)**

**Charma Chameleon (Charmelon)**

**Smaug (Charizard)**

**Squirter (Squirtle)**

**Leonardo (Wartortle)**

**Water Bowser (Blastoise)**

**The Very Hungry Caterpillar**** (Caterpie)**

**What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Harden (Metapod)**

**Lower Back Tattoo (Butterfree)**

Everyone laughed

"It's so true!" Yang said.

**Smokin' Weedle**

**Kakuna Matata**

**Mohammad A-Bee (Beedrill)**

**A Bird (Pidgey)**

**A Big Bird (Pidgeotto)**

**A Slightly Bigger Bird Than That (Pidgeot)**

**"**What's next? A giant bird?" Weiss said.

**Ratatat (Rattata)**

**Deadmau5 (Raticate)**

**Britney Spearow**

**Fearow to the Knee**

**Snake Spelled Backwards (Ekans)**

"Snake backwards? Like Ekans?" Ren said.

"Yes." Nova said

**Kobra Kai (Arbok)**

**Japanese Mickey (Pikachu)**

**Wrongchu (Raichu)**

**Taming of the Sandshrew**

**Hurricane Sandy (Sandslash)**

**Jailbait (Nidoran )**

**Barely Legal (Nidorina)**

**Milf (Nidoqueen)**

"Oh god, they have dirty jokes too." Weiss said.

"The milf one wasn't that dirty." Yang said.

**Pedobait (Nidoran )**

**Boy Toy (Nidorino)**

**Dilf (Nidoking)**

"But those were."she said and started laughing.

**Lame Kirby (Clefairy)**

**Queefable (Clefable)**

**What does the Vulpix say?**

**Miles "Ninetails" Prower (Ninetales)**

**Lana Del Rey (Jigglypuff)**

**Mama June (Wigglytuff)**

"Aww, those were cute." Ruby said.

**Cave Herpes (Zubat)**

**Edward Cullen (Globat)**

**Turnup For What (Oddish)**

**Orlando Gloom**

**Black Toad (Vileplume)**

**Paras Hilton**

**The Flood (Parasect)**

**Evil Furby (Venonat)**

**Mothra (Venomoth)**

**Dicklett (Diglett)**

**Three Little Dickletts (Dugtrio)**

"They look like dicks!" Yang said while laughing.

**Grumpy Cat (Meowth)**

**Kim Catdashian (Persian)**

**Gangnam Style (Psyduck)**

**Goldwing Duck (Golduck)**

**Spankey My Mankey**

The boys, and Yang, laughed.

"Ew, dick jokes." Blake said.

**Planet of the Primeapes**

**Macklemore (Growlithe)**

**R-K-9 (Arcanine)**

**Spin Art (Poliwag)**

**This is Your Brain (Poliwhirl)**

**This is Your Brain on Drugs (Poliwrath)**

"Is that true?" Ruby said.

"Yes." Nova said.

"And how do you know?" Weiss asked.

"Cause I smoke weed."

"WHAT?!"everyone said.

"Yeah,I'm a god, I can take whatever I want, and I can't die from drugs."

"Well that makes kinda sense." Yang said.

**There is No Spoon (Abra)**

**There is One Spoon (Kadabra)**

**There are Two Spoons (Alakazam)**

Only Nora laughed."Haha,spoons."she said.

**Judo Chop (Machop)**

**Machop on Roids (Machoke)**

**Goro (Machamp)**

**Plants Vs. Zombies**** (Bellsprout)**

**Nature's Fleshlight (Weepinbell)**

**Venus Dicktrap (Victreebel)**

The boys covered their privates.

**Japanese Lunch (Tentacool)**

**Japanese Pornstar (Tentacruel)**

"What, really?" Blake said.

"Yeah, in Japan a lot of people are into tentacle porn." Nova said.

"That's really gross!" Weiss said.

**Racky Ballboa (Geodude)**

**Pet Rock (Graveler)**

**Angry Golf Ball (Golem)**

**My Little Ponyta**

**This Horse is on Fiyaaa (Rapidash)**

**duhhhhh (Slowpoke)**

**derrrrrrrr (Slowbro)**

"Haha, that was funny!" Nora said.

**Junior Science Fair Project (Magnemite)**

**Magneto's Balls (Magneton)**

**A Bird With a Unibrow Holding a Green Onion (Farfetch'd)**

"That's pretty obvious." Blake said.

**Doodoooh (Doduo)**

**Cerbirdus (Dodrio)**

**Kiss From a Rose (Seel)**

**Mountain Dewgong**

**Grimace (Grimer)**

**Kum Spelled Backwards (Muk)**

**Shelldon Cooper (Shellder)**

**Haunted Vagina (Cloyster)**

Then Yang started laughing bery hard.

"It does look like one!"she said.

**Rick Gastly**

**Dead Wolverine (Haunter)**

**Evil Stitch (Gengar)**

**Hooked on Onix**

**NyQuil (Drowzee)**

**Date Rapist (Hypno)**

"Oh hell no." The girls said.

**Krabby Patty**

**Stage 5 Kingler**

**A Pokéball (Voltorb)**

**Al Qaeda (Electrode)**

**Exeggcute Order 66**

**Smelly Pineapple (Exeggutor)**

**Mommy Issues (Cubone)**

**Jack Skullington (Marowak)**

**Bruce Lee (Hitmonlee)**

**Jacqui Chan (Hitmonchan)**

**Girl's Best Friend (Lickitung)**

"I don't get it." Jaune said.

"Me neither." Nova said.

**Bronchitis (Koffing)**

**Lung Cancer (Weezing)**

**Rhyback (Rhyhorn)**

**Rhydon't (Rhydon)**

**Teen Mom (Chansey)**

**Walking Spaghetti Monster (Tangela)**

"I want a pokemon like that, it's so funny." Nora said.

**Krangas Khan (Kangaskhan)**

**Water Birdo (Horsea)**

**Hail Seadra**

**Finding Goldeen**

**Desperately Seaking Susan**

**Patrick (Staryu)**

**Jewish Starmie**

**Hi, I'm a Registered Sex Offender (Mr. Mime)**

Everyone started laughing.

**Rock-Paper-Scyther**

"OHMYGOD! It has scyther blades for hands! That's so cool! Ruby said.

**Nicki Minaj (Jynx)**

**Buzzfeed (Electabuzz)**

**Flaming Butthead (Magmar)**

**Like a Pinsir**

**Bull**** (Tauros)**

Everyone laughed.

**Not Living Up to Your Potential (Magikarp)**

**Gyary Busey (Gyarados)**

**The Loch Ness Monster (Lapras)**

**Whatever You Want Me to Be (Ditto)**

**Eevee Spelled Backwards**

"AWWWW! It's so cute!" The girls said.

**Catfish (Vaporeon)**

**Rabbichu (Jolteon)**

**Firecrotch (Flareon)**

**Asian Polygon (Porygon)**

**Praise Helix (Omanyte)**

**Baby Cthulu (Omastar)**

**Headcrab (Kabuto)**

**Edward Scytherhands (Kabutops)**

"It has scyther hands too!" Ruby said.

"You really love scythes, don't you?" Nova said.

"I love weapons in general!"

"Ruby is a weapon expert." Yang explained.

"But no weapon is better than my baby!". She then pulls out her weapon, crescent rose.

"Wow, that's a pretty cool weapon!" Nova said.

"It's also a customizable high-impact sniper rifle." Nova was amazed by her weapon."I love it more than anything in the world!"

"If you love it so much with don't you MARRY it?"Nova said.

Everyone started laughing and Ruby became red from embarassment.

"Can we continue the video now?"she said.

**Sarah Jurassica Parker (Aerodactyl)**

**Diabetus (Snorlax)**

**Blue Jay Leno (Articuno)**

**Shoes in Spanish (Zapdos)**

**This Bird is on Fiyaaa (Moltres)**

**Drapeeny (Dratini)**

**Puff the Magic Dragonair**

**Chawizawd (Dragonite)**

**Buu Two (Mewtwo)**

**Space Fetus (Mew)**

**and A Glitch in the Matrix (Missingno).**

"What was that? Jaune asked.

"It's a glitch. Everyone that caught that glitch as a pokemon could defeat instantly every opponent and pretty much fuck up the entire game." Nova said.

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow."

**Digimon.**

**(a trainer spots Red and walks over to him)****And that's why I never make direct eye contact with anyone.**

Eveyone laughed.

"That video was great." Jaune said.

"It was kinda funny." Pyrrha said.

"It was stupid." Weiss said.

"Cmon, you laughed with it." Yang said.

"Yeah, but we only watch stupid stuff. I would like to watch a video about real life problems or a personal experience."

"Me too. I also want to watch something serious." Blake said.

"I want to watch something extreme." Yang said.

"Ok then, let's watch a real-life problem." Nova said.

"But those are not fun!" Nora said.

"It will be animated."

"Yay more cartoons!"

"Fine, at least it won't be depressing." Weiss said.

**And done! That's all for now. Don't forhet to like and follow. You can suggest videos on the review section. See you soon.**


	5. Sr Pelo Don't touch

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING:Randomness,dank memes and a few grammar mistakes. Also some of the videos won't be written with every detail so go watch the video before you read the chapter.**

**Chapter 4:Sr Pelo Don't touch**

Nova started the video

**Sr Pelo:There is people that don't like to be touched. And I don't know why, I don't know why!**

"Great start." Yang said.

**Pelo:There is even a meme that talks about it! It's divided in 4, it's divided in 3, whatever. It's strangers, familiar, friends and lover, fiancé, whatever.**

Everyone laughed with the lover's face.

"What is that face?" Blake said.

"He looks like he's getting his-"

"DON'T say it!" Weiss interrupted Yang.

"He's getting the succ!" Nova finished quickly.

"The what?" Ruby said.

"The succ. You know, a blowjob. It's written with two c's."

"And he said it! Godammit!" Weiss said. Yang couldn't stop laughing.

**Pelo:And the body of each one is divided in colors, in don't touch me, I'm going to kill you I'm going to destroy you,-**

"That's a little too much." Pyrrha said.

"That's how I feel when someone touches my hair." Yang said.

"She is not lying, one time she broke someone's arm because he touched her hair." Ruby said.

"Wow." Nova said.

**Pelo:-no!,what?,what's that?,ok.. and oh yeah touch me daddy -sucking sounds and tongue-.**

Everyone laughed.

"Oh my god!" Yang said. "It's so funny, I love it!"

**Pelo:This! This is how is divided! Let's talk about strangers. No one can touch you! No one! No one. If a stranger comes near you,touches your shoulder and ask:**

**Stranger:Hey mister,can you tell me where can I find the...**

**Biatch:YOU TOUCH ME.**

"Oh my god." Blake said.

**Stranger:I-I just want to know where is the-**

**Biatch:YOU TOUCH ME! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU!**

"This is ridiculous. I don't want to be touched by strangers but I wouldn't react like that." Pyrrha said.

**Pelo:NOOO NOOO! He is a stranger,he wants to know information.**

"He shouldn't even touch her. He could just talk." Weiss said.

**Pelo: Wha-wha-what about the police?**

**Police:YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!**

**Biatch:-PELO GAASP-**

"Haha, that gasp was funny." Nora said.

**Biatch:YOU TOUCH ME! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU!**

"Even the police!" Yang said while laughing.

**Pelo:*smacking nyeh cute table**rip ugly table* NOOO! Noooo!**

"Rip ugly table. It's so funny." Ruby said

"He smacks his table in all his videos." Nova said.

**Pelo:J-J-JU b-but why!?... Buuut whyyyyy? Well.. there is some exceptions... like the people... that don't like to be touched at all.**

**Long leg boi:*walks**stops in frond of tiny biatch***

"What was that walking?" Ruby said while laughing.

**Tiny biatch:-PELO GASP- YOU TOUCH ME! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU!**

**Leg boi:Eh? Eh? Who said that?**

**Tiny biatch: *jumps on leg boi and attacks***

**Leg boi:-PELOSCREAM-**

Everyone laughed.

"Ok,that was kinda funny." Weiss said

**Pelo:And there's other people that...the black guys can't touch'em.**

"What's the problem with black people." Jaune asked.

"It's like what you have with the faunus." Nova said.

"That's so terrible. In all worlds there's rasicm." Blake said.

"Don't worry. In Earth, especially in Japan, cat girls are very popular, so you wouldn't have any problems."

"How did you knew? I never told you anything."

"You can't fool a god. I saw your bow twitcing."

"Oh."

"How did we never noticed that?" Yang said.

"Can I see your ears?"

"Ok, if you want to." Blake said kinda shyly and took off her bow.

"Oh myself. You're so KAWAII DESUNE!"was Nova's reaction. He went to touch her ears." There are so adorable! You're so adorable!"

Everyone was trying to hold their laughter. Blake was red from embarrassment.

"Can we please continue watching the video now?"she said.

"Oh, sorry." Nova said.

"It's okay. It's actually the first time someone said something good about my ears since my last relationship. So faunus are a thing in Japan?"

"Yeah, but some people take things too far."

"How far?" Ruby said.

"Child porn far." Everyone got shocked by his answer.

"Can we please continue the video?!" Pyrrha said.

"Ok, where were whe?" Nova said.

"Black people." Yang said.

"Ok."

**Black guy:Yo nigga wassup nigga? (HE SAID THE N-WORD!)**

"HE SAID THE N-WORD!" Nora said.

**Woman Trump:...you are black...and you touched me!(being Trump)*choking noises**reverse explosion***

**Black guy: Well that's dark.**

Everyone laughed with the reverse explosion.

"Oh god, that was so horrible!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"I can't stop laughing!" Ruby said.

**Pelo:And the next one is the familiars! The familiars...well they are familiar, they say hi, they hug you, OOH HOW ARE YOU? EWENYE EWNYE EWNYE EWNYE! But they can't touch your hair...**

"Is it wrong not wanting anyone to touch my hair?" Yang complained

"Relax, it's just an opinion." Nova said.

**Pelo:*smack hand*Why CAN'T the familiars touch your hair? IT'S JUST HAIR!**

"Roasted." Nova said.

"But it's my hair!" Yang said.

**Biatch 2:NOO NO BUT IT'S MY HAAIR IT'S MY HAAAAIR.**

**Angry Pelo:NOOOOO THE HAIR DOESN'T HAVE NERVES. IT'S JUST HAIR, NOO!**

"You're getting the roast of your life!" Nova said . Everyone started laughing. Yang just pouted.

"But it's my hair."she mumbed.

**Pelo:Look! There are some strangers that comes to me and say**

**Stranger:I can touch your hair?(I don't blame them!)**

"I want to touch his hair!" Nora said.

"Me too!" Ruby said.

**Pelo:And I say gyes! I am not going t****o tell them HEY YOU HAVE SEMEN IN YOUR HANDS, YOU HAVE SEMEN IN YOUR ASS!(XD).**

Everyone started laughing really hard. Yang laughed the most.

"What was that?! That was so random!" Yang said.

"I wouldn't laugh but it was so random!" Blake said.

**Pelo"NOOO!-expanding pelo- NO-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N NOOO no no NO!-sigh-... And the friends the friends can touch eeeeeh a 50 or 60% of your body,but aaaaaaaaahh they can't touch the tip of the ear!**

"The tip of the ear? That's the first time I hear that." Jaune said.

**Pelo:Imagine you are in class and suddenly...**

**Victim: HEY WHAT'S THA WHAT THA?!**

"When Ruby was younger she always did that!" Yang said while laughing.

"Shut up!" Ruby said embarrassed.

"Aww come here!" Yang said and hugged Ruby and a squeak was heard.

"Was that a squeaky sound?" Jaune asked.

"Yep." Nova said.

"Again?!" Weiss said.

"It seemed fitting."

"Well, you're not wrong." Blake said.

"I found it very sweet." Pyrrha said.

"Thank you." Nova said.

**Pelo: and she touches the tip of the ear...(she done goofed) god damnit!**

**Biatch 3: HEY YOU TOUCH ME!**

"Not again!" Blake said.

**Confused victim:But-but I just wanted to know what's...**

**Biatch 3: YOU TOUCH ME! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU!**

**Sad Pelo:I don't get it! Why they can't touch you the tip of the ear! It's just the...**

**Furry:BUT IT'S THE EAAARRR, IT'S THE EAAAAR.**

"I guess faunus really is a thing on Earth." Ruby said.

"Actually,only cat girls." Nova corrected.

**Pelo:[angry dilan] WHO CARES IS JUST AN ACCIDENT!**

Everyone laughed with the duck voice.

"What was that?" Pyrrha said.

**Pelo:And the next one is the lover, the fiancé.**

"This going to be good." Yang said.

**Pelo:There is people that they like to put everything, like... TOUCH ME!(hands like fashion model)TOUCH ME! BRBRBRBRBRAAAH(dat face)**

This got a few laughs.

**Pelo:But there is reserved people. ****Aaaaaaahhh the reserved people. They paint everything with red except their private parts.**

"That's so true." Blake said.

**Pelo:But not like Mary,Mary! Aaaah she paints everything with touch me, but you can't touch the vajayjay and the boobidyboobidoo.**

"Haha,boob." Nora said

**Pelo:BUT SHE CAN TOUCH YOUR EVERYTHING!**

**Mary:[SIN](help us lord)**

"I love the way they're touching each other." Ruby said.

**Pelo:AND YOU TOUCH HER**

**Guy:[SIN](help us lord)**

"Is she going to be like 'you can't touch me I'm a woman'?" Yang said.

"Watch ." Nova said.

**Pelo:AND SHE GET'S ANGRY**

**Mary:*inhales**eyebrows*WHAT'S THAT?**

**Guy:Well you touch me.**

**Mary:BUT I AM A WOMAN.**

"Knew it! She set her trap!" Yang said.

"What trap?" Jaune asked.

"She will call him sexist." Blake answered.

"Why?"

**Guy:And I am a man...**

**Mary:AAAAAH YOU ARE A MAN? AND BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN I CAN'T? AAAAAAAAAHHH... SEXIST! TOP TO THE FEMINIST! TOP TO THE WOMEN!**

"That's why" Pyrrha said.

**Pelo:*barfs*[DISTGUSTING]**

"EWW!" everyone said while laughing.

**Pelo:NOOOO![HAX]N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-NOOOO NOOO noooo.. A-a-a-and there is other people with the same thing, you can't touch the tip of the ear!**

"Even then? Unbelievable." Yang said.

**Pelo:You are having fun in the bed, and he touches your ear(he done goofed)**

Yang quickly covered Ruby's eyes. Everyone else laughed with the silly sex drawing.

"Yang stop!" Ruby said.

"You're too young for this!" Yang said.

**Biatch 5:YOU TOUCH MEE!**

"Not again." Weiss complained.

Yang let of Ruby now.

"Finally. I hate it when you do that!" Ruby said.

"How am I supposed to protect my baby sister from inappropriate stuff?" Yang said.

"You two are sisters? Because I can't find the similarity." Nova said.

"We have different moms."

"What happened to the first one?"

"I... don't wan't to talk about it."

"Sorry."

"It's ok."

**Sexy boi:(short yeah)- oh yeah, I touch you whatever you want baby.**

**Biatch 5: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU![sucking his d with teeth]**

Everyone got surprised and started laughing.

"That was so random!" Yang said.

**Pelo:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

"I think my ears are bleeding." Blake said." That was too loud!"

"He's sr pelo, he's always loud." Nova said.

**Pelo:Oh my god...all of you are wrooong. And some men who knows! For sure! Everyone likes to be touched in the penis(all penis red)**

The loud ones laughed.

"That's so true!" Yang said.

**Hair dude:OH YES! TOUCH ME TOUCH ME!**

**Girl:Naiiiinai I am not touching your penis.**

**Hair dude:OH YEAH! I DON'T KNOW YOU! TOUCH MY PENIS TOUCH MY PENIS.**

**Pelo:THIS IS ALL WROoOoOoONG! This is wrong, this is wrong.(stranger approaching)**

**Stranger:Hey mister, can you please tell me where is the...**

**Pelo:NOOO! I AM NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU I AM GOING TO DE-this is wrong...*smacky smacky smacks innocent stranger repeatedly* THIS IS WRONG!(rip stranger)**

**FIN(don't touch the child)**

Everyone laughed.

"He smacked the stranger!" Pyrrha said while laughing

"That was so random! I want more!" Nora said.

"Maybe later. What do I put now?" Nova said.

"How about something serious?" Blake suggested.

"How about an unsolved mystery?" Ren suggested.

"Okay then." Nova said and started the next video.

**And done. The next chapter will be a top 10. Like and follow. Leave a review. Bye.**


	6. 11 videos that can't be explained

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING:Randomness,dank memes and a few grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 5:11 mysterious videos that cannot be explained(by Slapped Ham).**

Nova started the video.

**[Intro]**

**Callen:Hey how you doing I'm Callen and this is Slapped Ham. Today we're lokking at some really creepy footage from the last known sightings of people that mysteriously disappeared to inexplicable road accidents and ghost sightings. Join us as we count 11 mysterious videos that can't be explained.**

"This is going to be interesting." Blake said.

**Number 11:The disappearance of Lars Mittank.**

**Callen:On the 30th of June 2014,28 year old Lars Mittank and a group of friends went on a holiday of Golden Sands in Bulgaria. **

"That place looks nice." Pyrrha said.

**Callen: During the stay Mittank got into a fight with a group of rival football fans and suffered a ruptured eardrum. **

"What is football?" Ruby asked

"You don't know what football is? It's the most famous sport on Earth! You do have sports right?" Nova asked.

"Most of them are fighting tournaments." Yang said.

"Pyrrha won the Mistral Region Tournament 4 times in a row."Weiss said.

"Really? That's pretty impressive!" Nova said.

"Thanks." Pyrrha said.

"For this planet's level."

"What?"

"Don't take this as an insult, I'm just not impressed by low level tournaments, especially after the tournament of power."

**Callen:He was then advised by a local doctor not to fly until his ear had fully healed and was unable to return home with his friends. Alone Mittank checked into a cheap hotel in the area. After just one night he began to act very strangely. He sent a text message to his mother telling her that he didn't feel safe and that she should cancel his credit card. He also told her that he was hiding from four men who were following him.**

"Really? For a sport?" Weiss said.

"Football fans will do anything for their teams,even kill, especially British people."Nova said.

"British people?" Ren said.

"Yeah, that's why the word 'hooligan' exists."Nova said.

**Callen:Apparently fearing for his safety Mittank then headed to Varna Airport where the security camera captured him entering. A few minutes later Mittank can be seen running from the airport and into the parking lot.**

"They found him!" Ruby said.

"Why he didn't report this to the local authorities?" Weiss said.

"Maybe he was too scared to do it." Jaune said.

**Callen:He was then seen climbing a fence and running through a meadow and into the nearby woods. Mittank was never seen again and it was never discovered who or what he was running from at Varna Airport. To this day Mittank's disappearance remains a mystery.**

"It was obviously those fanatics! Who else?"Weiss said.

**Number 10:Chinese woman possessed**

**Callen:This footage began surfacing around the middle of 2016. It shown a woman browsing items in a shopping mall when an item mysteriously falls behind her she turns and places it on the shelf.**

"It fell on it's own!" Ruby said.

"I think this is where it gets creepy right?" Pyrrha said.

"Yep." Nova said.

**Callen:As soon as she replaces the item she begins to act very strangely,almost as though an unseen force takes control of her body. She drops her shopping and begins to rise uncontrollably.**

"I don't like where this is going." Yang said.

**Callen:After falling to the floor two other shoppers noticed the women. As one comes to her aid the woman lets out a gutteral scream.(shows footage of the woman screaming)**

"Oh my god! She is possessed!" Nora said.

Ruby then hid her face in her hood.

**Callen:By this time the commotion has attracted several other shoppers. She lets out yet another scream this one more intense than the first.(shows footage)**

"Did you see that? She pushed that guy with her scream!" Blake said.

**Callen:The scream seemed to have the power to push the guy back. As the man in black attempts to restrain her the other on lookers gather closer. The woman begins calming down but then suddenly she lets out one final or mighty yell.(shows footage)**

Everyone got surprised by the force of the scream.

"Unbelievable!" Weiss said.

**Callen:This time it had the force to move objects in the store as well as cause the security camera to flicker. The other customers then help the woman to her feet and escort her away.**

"Is it over?" Ruby said not looking at the video.

"This clip yes." Nova said.

"Are there more videos like that?" Weiss said.

"Yes."

**Number 9:Ghost escapes hotel room**

**Callen:This mysterious footage was recorded in 2003 from the CCTV of an unknown hotel. A membr of the hotel staff is sent to investigate screams coming from room 209,which was thought to be empty at the time.**

"Is he going to die?" Jaune said.

"I hope not." Blake said.

**Callen:As the man approaches the door the screaming can be heard over the footage.(shows footage)**

Everyone got a little scared.

**Callen:The voice of another member of staff can be heard advising the man to wait before entering the room as the police have been notified and are on their way. However the man decides to enter the room anyway.(shows footage)Shortly after he enters some sort of ghostly figure can be seen escaping down the hallway before the hotel lights begin to flicker.(shows footage)**

"I saw it!" Blake said.

"You did?" Yang said.

"Yeah,it wasn't that visible but you could see something."

"I saw it too!" Ren said.

**Callen:When the man exits the room he appears startled. He says there was no one in the room, however all the furniture was turned upside down, the carpet was ripped up and the shower was running. The video abruptly ends without an explanation on what was happening in room 209? Was it a ghost or just a prank. If it was a prank then how do you explain the ghostly figure leaving the room?**

"Now that I think about it, it could be a prank." Weiss said.

"How can you be so sure?" Yang said.

"Someone could have put a tape with a recorded scream."

"But what about the ghost?" Nora said.

"It could be the light or the camera."

"That actually makes sense." Ren said.

"But who would have done it?" Jaune said.

"Probably a kid."

**Number 8:The real men in black**

**Callen:On the 14th of October 2009 two witnesses claimed to have seen a large triangular shaped object hovering above a hotel they were staying in at the time.**

"Is that an alien spaceship?" Ruby said.

"Ruby don't be ridiculous. Aliens don't exist." Weiss said.

"Yeah they do." Nova said.

"Really?" Ruby said.

"As a god it's my job to see what happens in the universe and I saw a lot of stuff. From little planets with life to giant battleships."

"Wow!"

**Callen:The pair reported the strange occurrence to the authorities. In a short time later two mysterious men dressed in black suits visited the hotel looking for the witnesses. This footage from the lobby security camera of the hotel shows the men walking into the building. The men asked to speak to the guests that had witnessed the event but were told by staff that they were no longer there. The staff members that spoke to the men said that they were very pale and had no eyebrows or eyelashes and that they looked completely identical. One female staff member even said that they looked as though both men's hair was fake as if they were wearing wigs to cover the fact that they were bald. The staff meber also claimed that both men had very large blue eyes and that the entire time they spoke they never blinked once. If you look closely at the footage of the two men entering the hotel you can see the man on the left appears to be having trouble keeping his feet straight as he walks.(shows footage)Did the guests witness some witness some kind of alien spacecraft above their hotel and were these the mysterious men in black that have been reported to appear after many UFO sightings. If so were they top-level government agents to assess the case or could they have been aliens looking to earase any knowledge of their existence?**

"Who were they?" Ruby said.

"The men in black are secret government agents and their job is to keep the existence of aliens secret." Nova explained.

"What were they doing there?" Jaune said.

"To erase from their memory what they saw."

"What about their description?" Blake said.

"The men in black are not only human. There are alien ones too."

"Really?" Ruby said.

"Yeah. I went at their headquarters a couple of times."

"You did? What was it like?"

"White and futuristic."

"Wow!"

**Number 7:The disappearance of Elisa Lam**

**Callen:On the 31st of January 2013 21 year-old Elisa Lam disappeared while staying at the Cecil Hotel in downtown LA. **

"Is it a murder case?" Ren said.

"Yes." Nova said.

**Callen:Lam,a student at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver was travelling at the time of her disappearance and the alarm was raised after she failed to contact her parents the day she was scheduled to check out of the hotel. When the police failed to locate Lam they decided to rralease the video footage of an elevator security camera in the hotel in an effort to collect more information. In the footage Lam can be seen moving very strangely as if she's hiding from someone or something.**

"She does seem very nervous." Pyrrha said.

"Someone must have targeted her." Ren said.

**Callen:She can be seen entering the elevator calmly before pressing several of the buttons on the panel. She then stands back and sees to wait for the doors to close. Suddenly she lunges forward and looks down the hallway before standing up against the wall.** **She then exits the elevator before returning pressing more buttons on the panel.**

"The music makes it more creepy." Ruby said.

"That's the point." Yang said.

**Callen:She exits the elevator one final time and can be seen communicating with soething before wandering off down the hallway.**

"Who is she talking too?" Nora said.

"Probably the murderer." Blake said.

**Callen:When the footage was released publicly,it went viral. In the first 10 days it received more than 3 million views and 40000 comments on the Chinese video sharing site Yuko. Many of the viewers said they found the footage unsettling and difficult to watch.**

"Obviously." Weiss said.

**Callen:Shortly after her disappearence hotel guests began complaining of black strange tasting water and low water pressure.**

"Oh no." Blake said. "Don't tell me..."

"What? What?" Ruby said.

**Callen:When the maintenance staff went to investigate they discovered the body of Elisa Lam floating inside one of the water tanks.**

Everyone,of course, got shocked.

**Callen:Despite a thorough police investigation several inconsistencies of Lam's disappearance has never been answered the autopsy report deemed her death to be accidental. However the police noted that the 8-foot high tanks which were located on the roof of the hotel were only accessible with a key and almost impossible to enter without a ladder. Many theories have attempted to explain Lam's disappearance from murder to the supernatural. Her death has even been noted for its eerie similarities to the 2005 dark water.**

"So the murderer was inspired by that movie. Wow, he couldn't think anything else." Yang said.

**Callen:In the film àm other and daughter move into a run-down apartment building with a dysfunctional elevator. Discoloured water eventually leads them to the water tank on the roof where they discover the body of a girl who's been reported missing a year earlier. To this day the fate of Elisa Lam remains a mystery.**

"It must be a good movie." Yang said.

"We just saw a murder case and you talk about a movie?" Weiss said.

"Hey I'm just saying."

**Number 6:Chinese traffic accident**

**Callen:This mysterious video was taken on a road in Qingdao China. As the two white vans approached the intersection something very strange happens. Suddenly the two vans lift into the air and get pushed backwards almost as though a very strong gust of wind picks them up and shakes them out.**

Everyone was surprised by this.

"Whoa, the wind must have been very strong." Nora said

**Callen:What could have happened to these vans? What sort of strange force has the power to lift two vans into the air with such ease?**

"At least no one died." Pyrrha said.

**Number 5:Teleporting man**

**Callen:This footage was taken from a dashcam somewhere in Russia. As the traffic is driving along the semi-traier suddenly begins to swerve nearly colliding with oncoming traffic. At first it's difficult to see why the truck swerves but then the answer becomes apparent. A man wearing what looks to be a lab coat seems to appear out of nowhere. Several theories have attempted to explain this bizarre event. It's been suggested that the man could be a scientist from the future who miscalculated a time-travel teleportation.**

"He's a scientist from the future! Coooool!" Nora said.

"No he's not. He was just walked into the road." Blake said." It's not very visible you can see him in front of the truck."

"Then how do you explain the lab coat? Besides why would he walk in the middle of the road?" Ruby said.

"Because he was drunk." Nova said.

"What?" Weiss said.

"He was probably drunk. Everyone in Russia is drunk."

"Really?" Yang said.

"Probably not, but a lot of people are every time of the day."

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow."

**Callen:If you look closely however you can actually see the man crossing the road in front of the truck.**

"I told you." Blake said

**Callen:What is difficult to explain however is the relaxed and almost robotic reaction the man has after his near-fatal miss. He simply turns, puts his hands in his lab coat pockets and calmly walks off down the road.**

"He must have been very drunk." Jaune said.

"These people don't drink coffee to wake up, they drink vodka." Nova said. Everyone laughed with that.

**Callen:Why was this man attempting to cross the road in the first place? There seems to be nothing but empty fields on the other side. What do you think is happening in this video? We'd love to get your opinion. Let us know in the comment section below.**

"Are you sure he wasn't a time traveller?" Ruby said.

"Time travel is impossible." Nova said.

**Number 4:Face in abandoned house**

**Callen:This mysterious video was posted in 2014 by a man known only as Ted who claims to have been a police officer since 1983. After responding to a domestic disturbance in Del Rey Detroit Ted says he heard some strange noises coming from a neighboring house. So he decide to take a closer look. As he approaches the house which appears to be burnt out and abandoned,the officer pans the camera towards an old newspaper cliping before calling out to see if anyone's inside.(shows footage)**

Everyone got surprised with what they saw.

"What was that?!" Nora said. "Was it a ghost?"

"Totally." Nova said.

"Ghosts exist?" Ren said.

"Yeah dude." Everyone now, except Nova, got a little scared.

**Callen: Suddenly a ghoulish face apperas in the upstairs window before disappearing into the darkness. It's later revealed in the video that the article that the police officer found was about a woman named Rose Veres who was known as the witch of Del Rey. Veres was thought to have murdered up to 12 men in the 1930s. However her neighbours were too scared to testify against her because they believed she had supernatural powers that can make their children sick. Could the ghostly face that the police officer saw in the window of this burnt-out old house be that of the infamous Del Rey witch?**

Everyone was terrified by the story.

"Do you have urban legends like that?" Nova said.

"Yeah and they are as scary as that story." Ruby said.

**Number 3:Girl in red dress**

**Callen:In 2015 a CCTV camera in a Taiwanese alleyway unnerving and creepy footage. As the heavy rain pours down, a man can be seen walking down the alleyway towards his parked motorbike. Just as the man reaches his bike a young girl in a red dress mysteriously appears alongside the parked van at the opposite end of the alleyway. **

"Where did she come from?" Pyrrha said.

"I don't think it's a girl. It could be the back lights of a car." Ren said.

"Probably." Weiss said.

"Or is it?" Nora said.

"Now that I see it better it does look like a girl." Nova said.

"It is a girl!" Blake said.

**Callen:As the footage continues a motorbike can be seen riding past in the background. If you take a closer look as the bike passes however you can see the wheels of the bike through the little girl's head.**

"That's just the quality of the video." Weiss said.

**Callen:What makes this video even creepier is the fact that in Taiwan there's an urban legend known as the girl in red. A ghost of a young girl dressed in red dress that stalks and haunts her victims.**

"Earth has very creepy urban legends." Pyrrha said.

"Someone should make them a movie." Yang said.

**Number 2: Mysterious hospital ghost**

**Callen:This video was filmed in a hospital in Guadalajara Mexico. It an orderly laughing and joking around for the camera when suddenly a mysterious dark figure walks by the window.**

"What was that?" Ruby said.

"It looked like a man." Blake said

**Callen:As the peeson holding the camera rushes to investigate the two open the door and head into what appears to be an operating theater. Suddenly a table begind to move for no apparent reason.**

"A ghost again?" Weiss said.

"I'm tired of ghosts." Yang said.

**Callen:The startled pair quickly leave the room and as they do,the camera holder does a full 360-degree sweep of the room. There's no one else in the room and no other door that the mysterious figure could have entered or exited from. What was this shadowy figure? Could it have been the ghost of someone that passed away in this very operating room?**

"Finally the final video." Yang said.

"I hope it's not another ghost." Blake said.

**Number 1:City in the clouds**

**Callen:In 2015 a floating city appeared in the clouds above Foshan in the Guangdong province of China. It was witnessed by thousands of people and footage of the mysterious city in the clouds even made the Chinese news.**

Everyone was with mouths open.

"Wow, a city in the clouds!" Ruby said.

"Do you think cloud people live there?" Nora said.

"There's no city in the clouds. It's probably the cloud's shape." Weiss said.

"Why do you have to ruin everything?" Yang said.

"I don't ruin everything! I'm just saying the facts!"

"It's just the clouds." Nova said.

"So no cloud city?" Ruby said.

"No cloud city." Ruby and Nora got very disappointed with that.

**Callen:Many theories tried to explain the strange city in the sky. Some said it was part of a top-secret NASA funded project known as Project Blue Beam, technology that can reportedly large-scale holograms into the clouds.**

"That's so cool!" Ruby said.

"Probably the Atlas miltary cand make a projector like that too." Weiss said.

"It's possible." Blake said.

**Callen:Others speculated that it could have been been a doorway to an alternate reality that opened for just long enough to allow stunned onlookers to get a glimpse of another world.**

"I love human's way of thinking. Thay have a lot of imagination." Nova said.

"So it couldn't be a portal to another reality?" Jaune said.

"Oh no, it could, but you must a really creative mind to think of that."

"So it was." Yang said.

"No it wasn't. If it was, I would be the first one to know about it."

**Callen:It wasn't the first time a city in the clouds has been spotted either. In 2011 this footage was taken in Quan Xiang city in China's unway province. What do you think these mysterious citiees could be? Are they an optical illusion,government testing or a getaway to another world? Let us know in the comment section below.**

**The video ends.**

"Finally! It's over!" Yang said.

"You didn't like it." Blake said.

"It was great but it was also very tiring. Nova can you put something extreme now?"

"You want extreme weird or extreme violent?" Nova said.

"Violent please."

"Okay." Nova then put the next video.

**And done. It was a big chapter. Next chapter is Real life mortal kombat fatalities by RackaRacka. Don't forget to like,follow and review. See you soon. **

**P.S. I'm sorry for what I said about British and Russian people if it sounded racist.**


	7. Real life Mortal Kombat fatalities

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness,dank memes and a few grammar mistakes. Also I won't write every video with every detail or write the dialog wrong so watch the video before you read this. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 6:Real life Mortal Kombat fatalities**

**The video starts with 3 guys having a barbecue.**(I only know Michael,I don't know the others)

**Guy 1:You wanna fight me in Mortal Kombat?**

"Mortal Kombat?" Ren said.

"It's the most violent fighting game. It's so violent it's ridiculous." Nova said.

"I want to play that game! " Yang said.

"Me too!" Ruby said.

"Ruby you can't play it." Nova said.

"Huh? Why?"

"Because you're too young to play that game."

"Please, it can't be that violent."

"Fine, but I warned you."

**Michael:Yeah bro!**

**Guy 2:It's fucking shit.**

**Michael:How is it shit?**

**Guy 2:How is it not shit? It's the fucking fatalities that are bullshit. And they're unrealistic as fuck.**

**Michael:I probably won't do these fatalities on you.**

**Guy 2 then stands in front of Michael**

**Guy 2: Are you ready?**

**Michael:I'm fucking ready.**

**Guy 2:You wanna try?**

**Michael:Yea I wanna try. You wanna try?**

**Guy 1:Show me fatalities, c'mon!**

**Michael: I'll fatality you bro!**

"C'mon, fight already! I want to see some broken legs!" Nora said.

"Trust me, they're going to break more than legs." Nova said.

**Then guy 2 takes the pan and slams it at Michael's face.**

Everyone got surprised.

"Finally some action!" Yang said.

**Guy 1:OOOOOOO DAAAAMN! DAAAAMN!**

**Michael gets angry and gets up to fight.**

**Announcer:FIGHT!**

**Michael kicks guy 2 at the grill. Then guy 2 throws a bag of salt at Michael and does a backflip. Michael charges at him but guy 2 gets away and does a flying kick while Michael rolls away. Guy 2 then kicks Michael in the face 3 times into a wooden beam, with the 3rd kick making him spit blood.**

"The fight is awesome!" Yang said.

"Too much blood." Weiss said.

**Guy 2 dropkicks Michael, breaking the beam.**

**Guy 1:OOOOOO SNAP!**

**Guy 2 kicks Michael in the back to a table which breaks. Guy 2 was about to attack but tripped at the broken table. Michael got the chance to uppercut him in the jaw(in slow motion).**

"Ow, that must've hurt a lot." Jaune said.

"Okay, it is violent but it's not that violent." Ruby said.

"Keep watching." Nova said.

**Guy 1 jumps down from the adrenaline of the fight. Michael punches guy 2 multiple times in the face.**

**Guy 1:O! O! O! O! O! O! O! O! O! O!**

Everyone laughs.

**Michael keeps punching him and finishes his combo with a punch in the chest(shows broken ribs) and an uppercut in the jaw, making him spit blood.**

"Now I know how we would end up if we didn't have auras." Yang said. Everyone agreed.

**Guy 2 tries to punch Michael but Michael grabs his arm and shoves guy 2's face on the grill, with him screaming in pain.**

"That's too much!" Blake said.

"I can't watch anymore!" Nora said.

**Announcer: FINISH HIM!**

**Michael takes him and rips his head off along with his spine.**

Everyone got freaked out.

"OH MY GOD! HE KILLED HIM!"Weiss said.

"Why would he do that?! Wasn't that his friend?!" Pyrrha said.

"It's Mortal Kombat. You must finish off your opponent." Nova said.

"Now I get what you mean by saying it's too violent." Ruby said but it was too late.

**Then Michael starts playing with guy 1 by passing each other guy 2's head.**

"They're just messing around?! That's just sick!" Pyrrha said.

**Michael then throws the head on guy 1's head with power, making him dizzy.**

**Announcer: FINISH HIM!**

"He's going to kill him too?!" Yang said.

"Yeah." Nova said with a little laugh.

**Michael runs at guy 1 at knees him in the face.**

Everyone winches.

**Michael then takes him at the saw.**(I how that saw is called in English). **He then starts the saw.**

"NOOO!" Pyrrha said.

"I CAN'T WATCH!" Ruby said and hid her face in her hood.

Everyone else just hid their eyes with their hands.

**Guy 1 tries to push back but he can't. He gets cut a little by the saw but Michael pushes guy 1 harder and makes a big cut.**

"Is it over?" Ruby said.

"No, there's more." Nova said trying to hold his laughter.

**Michael then shoves his finger inside the cut and destroyes guy 1's head,spilling everything.**

"TOO VIOLENT! TOO VIOLENT!" Yang said.

**Announcer: FATALITY**

**Random kid:Mike, can you take me to school, cause mom's possibly out-**

**Before the kid finishes his sentence, Michael throws a spear(like Scorpion) at him.**

"NOT THE KID TOO!" Blake said.

**Michael pulls the kid and shoves his hands inside him, rips his heart, and starts beating him with it.**

"NOOO!" Pyrrha said.

**Suddenly a hand goes through Michael, doing the middle finger. It turns out it was the kid's mom.**

Everyone got surprised, again.

"What is going on?! It doesn't make sense anymore!" Weiss said.

"Just fatalities." Nova said.

"Why are you so calm?! We just saw him killing three people!"

"I already saw the video. Also Mortal Kombat is one of my favourite games so I'm fine."

"I can't believe you!" Blake said.

**Mom:That was for my son you bastard.**

**She then pulls his guts out and starts beating him with them.**

"Okay that was kinda funny." Yang said.

"It got ridiculous now. Great." Weiss said sarcastically.

"Did you see that little dog? It's problably like 'what the fuck is happening'." Yang said. Everyone laughed a little.

**Announcer: G-MILF WINS**

"G-milf? Really?" Blake said.

**But then someone grabs her head from behind. It was Scorpion. Michael is also surprised.**

"What?! There's more?!" Nora said.

"I give up!" Weiss said.

**G-milf: Scorpion.**

**Scorpion punches her and squeezes her eyes.**

"Now it's the gross part." Nova said.

"NOW IT'S THE GROSS PART!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" Weiss said.

"Please, no more!" Ruby said.

**Then Scorpion finishes her off by ripping off her jaw. Her face end up disgusting.**

**Announcer:BLACK SCORPIAN WINS! FATALITY!**

**The video ends.**

"I think I'm going to throw up!" Jaune said. He then run to the bathroom. Then Weiss, Blake and Pyrrha followed.

"Is it over?" Ruby said uncovering her face." Where did they go?"

"To the bathroom to throw up." Yang said.

"I HAVE PUKE ALL OVER MY SHIRT !" Jaune yelled from the bathroom.

"I don't want to play this game anymore." Ruby said.

"I still want too. It was kinda awesome." Yang said.

"Me too! I could smash everyone!" Nora said.

"Can we watch something funny and stupid now?"

"Okay, I'll put something." Nova said.

"WHO THREW UP ON MY HAIR!?" Weiss said.

Nova couldn't stop laughing.

**Done. The next chapter is ASDF 1. Like, follow and review. See you soon.**


	8. Asdfmovie

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and a few grammar mistakes. Please watch the video before you read this.**

**Chapter 7:Asdfmovie**

Nova waited for the others to get out of the bathroom. Finally they finished throwing up.

"Did you get everything out?" Nova said.

"Do not show anything like this EVER AGAIN!" Weiss said.

"Yeah please." Pyrrha said.

"Don't worry, I put something funny and stupid now." Nova said.

"At least it'll be better for a change." Jaune said.

"Nova can you start the video?" Ruby said.

"Sure." Nova then started the video.

**First Skit**

**(Baby Giggling)**

**(man takes the baby's nose)**

**Man: Got your nose!**

**(Baby giggling continues)**

**Officer: Look out! He's got a nose!**

**(the officer fires his gun)**

"What happened?." Yang said.

"The guy got the kid's nose and the police busted through the door." Nova said.

"Is the rest of the video like this?" Blake said.

"Yes."

"Whatever. At least it's better than the previous video." Weiss said.

"That was funny, haha!" Nora said.

**Title Sequence**

**(Title theme plays)**

**(static)**

**Second Skit**

**Man: You gotta help me man! My tie is evil and it's gonna kill meeee...**

**(The other man backs away)**

"That was the right choice." Yang said.

**Man: Please don't hurt me...**

**Tie: (Sinister laugh)**

"The tie is evil!" Nora said while laughing.

**(static)**

**Third Skit**

**Man: Hello, parking meter!**

**Meter: Hello!**

**(The man becomes surprised.)**

This got a few laughs.

"The parking meter just talked to him." Ruby said.

**(static)**

**Fourth Skit**

**Man on Left: Hey guy, smell my flower.**

**Man on Right: (guy sniffs flower) Mmmmmmm**

**(A monster comes out of the man on the Left's Flower)**

This surprised everyone.

**Man on Right: LOL!**

"Lol." Nora said while laughing.

"You really like this." Ren said.

"It's like it's inside my mind."

**(static)**

**Fifth Skit**

**(guy presses a button labeled the "Pointless Button")**

**Man: Hmm.**

"When it will get funny?" Yang said.

**(static)**

**Sixth Skit**

**Man on Right: Hey man.. (gets punched) OWW! What the hell is wrong with you!?**

**Announcer: LEVEL UP!**

The ones that play video games got that and laughed.

"I don't get it." Blake said.

"In some games, you level up by beating up people." Yang said while laughing.

**(static)**

**Seventh Skit**

**Lady: Somebody help me, I'm being robbed!**

**Man: I'll save you! Tree powers activate!**

**(The man turns into a tree.)**

"That's it?" Weiss said. Everyone else laughed.

"Tree powers are lame." Ruby said.

**(static)**

**Eighth Skit**

**Man: Die potato!**

**Potato: Nooooooooooo!**

**(The man steps on the potato.)**

"Potato NOOOO!" Nora said.

**(static)**

**Ninth Skit**

**Man: Mmmm... Yum!**

**(cutting the cake)**

**Cake: Aaaaahhhhhh! Why would you do this?! I have a wife and family!**

Everyone got surprised then started laughing.

**Man: NOOOOOOO!**

**Cake: Aahh... The pain... It's Unbearable!**

"I feel so bad now for eating cake." Nora said.

"Why am I laughing? This isn't funny!" Pyrrha said but she kept laughing.

**Man: What have I done?!**

**Cake: Aahhh... Tell My Children I love them...**

**Cupcakes: DADDY!**

"It has kids too!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"And they're cupcakes!" Ruby said.

**Cake: Ugghhh...(cake falls on the side of table)**

**Man: NOOOOOOO!**

**Cupcakes: NOOOOO!**

**(cake hits floor)**

"That splat kinda ruined the moment." Yang said and stopped laughing.

**Ending Credits**

**(ending credits play)**

"Ok. That was something." Yang said.

"There's more." Nova said.

"What?"

**Tenth Skit**

**Man on Right: Hey.. You know who's gay? You.**

**(The man on the left stabs the man on the right with a sword)**

**Man on Right: Aw, come on!**

Everyone laughed.

"That was so unexpected!" Ruby said while laughing.

**Ending Credits**

**(credits continue)**

**End of video**

"That was the best video ever!" Nora said. "I want to see more!"

"Maybe next time. It's getting late." Ren said.

"Ren is right. We should go to our dorm." Jaune said.

"Goodnight." Ruby said.

"Goodnight." Team JNPR said and left the room.

"Ok then. I should go back to my planet. Goodnight." Nova said and teleported out of the room. Everyone then went to sleep.

**Done. Next chapter: Dbz abridged The dead zone. Like, follow and review. See you soon.**


	9. DBZA The Dead Zone

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING:Randomness, dank memes and a few grammar mistakes. **

**Chapter 8:DBZ Abridged The Dead Zone**

It's Saturday evening. It's been days since day since Nova last saw his friends in Remnant so he decided to pay them a visit again. He then teleported to team RWBY's dorm, surprising the girls.

"WHADDUUP!" Nova said.

"Will you stop scaring us like that?!" Weiss said.

"No, because it's one of my charms. Anyway, how is it going?"

"You're on the news!" Ruby said.

"What? How?"

"Remember that big laser attack you did on the rooftop? It's all over the news." Yang said. Then she got her scroll and showed him a news report.

**Lisa Lavender:Witnesses reported a giant beam of light in the sky. When it landed, it caused a massive explosion making a giant crater. The good news is that before the explosion there was no sign of life. What or who created that beam? Some people say it was a top secret Atlesian weapon. Most of them say that it was a huntsman using his or her semblance. Whoever that was, he or she knew that there was no life. Stay tuned for more information. **

"Wow." Nova said.

"Yeah, wow." Yang said.

"That was weak."

"WHAT? That's your reaction?" Weiss said.

"I have done worse."

"If I didn't know you, I wouldn't believe it." Blake said.

"Anyway, what about you girls?"

"Not that much. Studying, training, watching meme review. You know, the usual."Ruby said.

"Great. Call the others. We're gonna watch some TFS."

"YES!" Ruby and Yang said.

"Great." Blake said sarcastically.

"NO! I don't want to!" Weiss said.

"Why? It's funny." Ruby said.

"Yes but I can't stand Goku's stupidity."

"Cmon give it another chance. Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"PLEASE?"

"NO!"

"Please?"

"Okay fine, I will."

"YAY!"

Later everyone sat down to enjoy the video.

"What are we watching?" Jaune said.

"The dead zone. The parody of the first DBZ movie." Nova said.

"Yes! Finally! More fighting and lasers!" Nora said.

"Glad you like it."

"What are you waiting for. Start it already." Yang said.

"Ok." Nova then started the video.

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(cut to Piccolo in a rocky area)**

**PICCOLO: RAAAAAGH! (blows up giant rock formations with his scream) **

This surprised everyone

"He destroyed that rock with his scream!" Yang said.

"Coooool!" Ruby and Nora said.

**PICCOLO:(thinking) Perfect. Now I have a place to put my castle once I rule the world.**

"He's building a castle? Why?" Weiss said.

"Because every villain has a castle. DUH! Everyone knows that. "Nora said.

"And I thought you were smart." Nova said.

"Shut up." Weiss said

**PICCOLO: And it'll have all the things a castle requires. Like walls...and subjects. (out loud) Maybe even a tribu- Huh? (notices a shadowy figure heading towards him) (thinking) Wait, are they running on air? (looks behind and sees another shadowy figure behind him) That's ridiculous, they're flying! Why would they ever even need to- (a third shadowy figure uppercuts him from below) OH, GOD!**

"Nice response" Yang said.

**NIKKI: F**k him up! (the three shadowy figures attack Piccolo) From the front!**

**SANSHO: To the back!**

**PICCOLO: Oh, you better just KILL me! (sees four shadowy figure preparing to attack) ...Shit. **

It got a few laughs.

**(The three shadowy figures simultaneously fires a blast at Piccolo, who screams as all three blasts connect. Cut to Kami inside his Lookout.)**

**KAMI: OH!**

"Who is that?" Jaune asked.

"He looks like Piccolo." Ren said.

"He is Kami. He's the guardian of Earth."

**MR. POPO: (from outside) You okay in there, Kami?**

**KAMI: Mr. Popo, I believe...that Piccolo may have been slain!**

**MR. POPO: (from outside) I think you'd know if he were! ...You still there?**

**KAMI: Yes.**

**MR. POPO: (from outside) Then he ain't dead, is he, Drama Queen?**

"So if Piccolo dies, Kami will die too? Why?" Blake said.

"Because Kami and Piccolo are the same person. It's a long story." Nova said.

**KAMI: But you don't understand!**

**MR. POPO: (from outside) Drama Queen!**

**KAMI: I think Garlic Junior may have-**

**MR. POPO: (from outside) Drama Queeeeeeeeeen... (is heard walking away)**

"He doesn't take him seriosly." Pyrrha said.

"What an asshole." Yang said.

"But he's right." Nova said.

**KAMI: Mmm... Garlic Jr.'s back.**

**("DragonBall Z Abridged: Lord Slug" logo first appears on the screen and then disappears to show the text "Dead Zone")**

**(cut to Gohan in the forest)**

**GOHAN: (reading "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn") "Miss Watson, she kept pecking at me, and it got tiresome and lonesome. By and by, they fetched the nig-" Huh, that's not a word I've ever heard before. Oh, well. "They fetched the nig-"**

"The n-word again!" Nora said.

"Was that true?" Blake said.

"Yeah, Huckleberry Finn had a lot of n-words. Different times." Nova said.

**CHI-CHI: (from inside the house) Gohan, lunch is ready! Come help me set the table!**

**GOHAN: Oh, yay! And Dad's gone fishing! Which means I'll get seconds!**

**(Gohan closes his book and then cuts to Goku underwater who seems to hear this and immediately jumps out of the water, naked and holding the tail fin of a fish. Cut back to Gohan walking toward his house.)**

"Why was he naked in the lake?" Ruby said.

"Because he's Goku."Nova said.

**GOHAN: Huh?**

**OX-KING: Hey! Gohan!**

**GOHAN: Grandpa Ox!**

**CHI-CHI: (walks out the front door) Oh, Daddy! What are you doing here?**

**OX-KING: I wanted to drop by and see my grandson! Also, money for you guys to live!**

"They live with his money? Doesn't Goku have a job?" Pyrrha said.

"In the abridged version no. In the original he's a farmer." Nova said.

**CHI-CHI: Thank you, Daddy!**

**OX-KING: I also brought you a gift, Gohan!**

**GOHAN: *gasps* A puppy!**

**OX-KING: BOOKS!**

**GOHAN: (eyes narrowed, in an uninterested tone) Yay...**

Everyone laughed.

"Getting books as a gift isn't that bad." Blake said.

"Yeah but a little kid wouldn't react the same." Nova said.

**CHI-CHI: Oh, I'm sure he'll love them. Won't you, Goha- (a book falls on Gohan's head) Daddy?**

**GOHAN: Grandpa? Grandpa? (the Ox-King collapses and almost falls on Gohan) Mom.. Mom! MOM! (runs to Chi-Chi) Mommy! Grandpa's having a stroke!**

Everyone was shocked.

**CHI-CHI: Huh? (notices a cloaked hooded figure)**

**GINGER: Hi.**

**CHI-CHI: Gohan, go inside immediately!**

**NIKKI: (is waiting inside the house) Oh, yeah! Come on in! (eats a bunch of pears)**

"That's kinda impressive." Yang said.

**CHI-CHI: (thinking) Son of a bitch just ate my pears.**

"Who cares about the pears?" Weiss said.

**CHI-CHI: (out loud) You know we don't have a car, right?! That's like a ten mile Nimbus ride to the nearest city! For pears! You have ten seconds to tell me what you want before I strangle you with that cowl!**

**GINGER: I want the DragonBall! Give me the kid!**

"Why take Gohan? He can just take the Dragon Ball." Blake said.

**CHI-CHI: What? You can't have my son. You just want the DragonBall, right?**

"Exactly."

**GINGER: Don't question my f**king methods! F**k it! I'm taking your dad! (lifts up the Ox-King a bit then drops him) He's a f**king fatass! Forget it! I'm gonna take your kid!**

"That's just mean." Ruby said.

**SANSHO: (off-screen) Yo, Ginger...**

**GINGER: Oh, right! Dragon Ball, too! Please! ...If you wouldn't mind.**

"Worst minion ever."

**CHI-CHI: I do.**

**GINGER: Too f**king bad!**

This got a few laughs.

**CHI-CHI: Enough of this! (charges at GInger only to get knocked down easily)**

Everyone got shocked(again).

**GOHAN: Mommy!**

**GINGER: Ha-ha! F**king what?**

**(cut to Goku running while carrying the fish and arriveing on the scene to find Chi-Chi on the ground)**

**GOKU: Chi-Chi! I heard lunch! What happened?!**

Everyone laughed.

"Are you kidding me? He only cares about food!" Weiss said.

**CHI-CHI: Goku, they took-**

**GOKU: Our lunch?**

"I don't think he cares about Gohan." Pyrrha said.

**CHI-CHI: No. They took...our so-**

**GOKU: Oh, hey. Your dad's here. Hi, Ox-King!**

Everyone laughed even more.

"He acts like a kid." Weiss said

**CHI-CHI: Focus! They took...Gohan!**

**GOKU: Aw, man! I can't have him miss lunch! It's the fourth most important meal of the day! Right after brunch...but right before linner. ...Love me some linner, though. So I'ma go get Gohan back. We'll be back in time for linner. Chicken and waffles? Chicken and waffles. (the Ox-King coughs) Oh, and some for your dad.**

"I can't believe this conversation happened." Blake said.

"I'm hungry." Nora said.

**(cut to inside garlic Jr's castle)**

**GARLIC JR.: So let me get this straight. I sent you shipdits off to find me a Dragon Ball, and you bring back a toddler?**

**SANSHO: Well, we did bring back the DragonBall!**

"And a toddler!" Weiss said.

**GARLIC JR.: And a toddler! Did you try, I don't know, taking off the hat?**

**NIKKI: Well, we thought about it on the way back, but it really brings the whole Chinese Prince look together.**

**GINGER: And he's your size. You can ROCK that shit!**

"He would still be ugly." Weiss said.

**GARLIC JR.: ...Fair enough.**

**GOHAN: My daddy's not gonna let you get away with this!**

**GINGER: Big f**kin' whoop! We beat Piccolo, and that guy's strong as shit!**

This got a few laughs.

"Strong as shit." Yang said while laughing.

**GOHAN: Yeah? So did my dad!**

**GINGER: By himself?!**

**GOHAN: Yeah!**

**GARLIC JR.: (realizes there's only one man strong enough to defeat Piccolo) Oh God, your father's Goku.**

Everyone started laughing.

"He's so screwed."

**GARLIC JR.: OH MY GOD, YOU MORONS STOLE GOKU'S KID?! HOW?! HOW DID YOU STEAL GOKU'S KID?!**

**NIKKI: Well, first we beat up his wife...**

They laughed even louder.

**GARLIC JR.: Oh, my shit... Okay, look. New plan: get the last two DragonBalls. NOW!**

**NIKKI: Oh, yeah! We'll just go off, scour the globe, and be back before linner! *laughs* You know, it's not like they make a radar for this shit...**

"They have a radar, right?" Blake said.

"Yeah." Nova said.

**(cut to inside Kame House with Goku and the gang looking at the Dragon Radar)**

**GOKU: Oh, yeah. Someone is collecting the DragonBalls.**

**BULMA: Why'd they take Gohan?**

**GOKU: I don't know. Maybe they just want a good ol'-fashioned Goku fanny-whoopin'!**

"Fanny-whoopin'?" Ruby said.

**BULMA: "Fanny"?**

**GOKU: Chi-Chi doesn't like us to swear.**

"Ass isn't a swear." Yang said.

"When you say it like that it is." Weiss said.

"I guess you're right."

**BULMA: "Butt" isn't a swear!**

**GOKU: ...The HFIL you talkin' about?**

**(cut to Nikki chasing Gohan around the castle)**

**NIKKI: COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE SHIPLIN!**

**GOHAN: No! You smell like hairspray and shea butter!**

Everyone laughed.

"What is shea butter?" Ruby said.

"Nut butter." Nova said.

**NIKKI: Swear to God, I don't know how I got put in charge of babysitting. I need something to take the edge off. (grabs and bites an apple, then gets smacked from behind by Gohan)**

**GOHAN: You're it! (takes off)**

"He's just playing!" Ruby said while laughing.

**NIKKI: I will slap FIRE FROM YOU! I swear to God... (walks upstairs and finds Gohan) Oh, good. There you are. Now, be a good little crotch spawn and let's go back to your room!**

"Crotch spawn? That was hilarious!" Yang said while laughing

**GOHAN: I'm hungry!**

**NIKKI: Ah, well, maybe I can make you a peanut butter, jelly, and ether sandwich, and- (Gohan pulls out an apple from his robe) Where did you get that apple?**

**GOHAN: In the tree.**

**NIKKI: Don't eat that apple!**

**GOHAN: I'ma eat the apple.**

**NIKKI: Don't eat that apple!**

**GOHAN: I'ma eat the apple!**

"Why not eat the apple?" Ruby asked.

"In the original, the apple made you drunk. In this, it takes you high." Nova said doing a smoking weed motion.

"What?!" Everyone said.

**NIKKI: DO...NOT...EAT...THAT A- (Gohan eats the hole apple) Oh, balls... Well, I hope you packed your bags, kid. Because you're about to go on a TRIP...**

**(Gohan goes on a trip that would make Alice's trip in Wonderland jealous before cutting to him spacing out)**

Everyone laughed in the beginning but then they got terrified.

"Was that a dragon head with blood on its eyes?!" Blake said.

**(cut to Ginger and Sansho returning to the castle)**

**GINGER: Got the last motherf**kin' balls!**

**(cut to all seven DragonBalls together and glowing)**

"Are we going to see the dragon?" Jaune said.

"Yeah and let me tell you, no matter how many times you see it, it never gets old." Nova said.

**GARLIC JR.: Got to say, I'm sort of impressed. How did you find them so fast?**

**GINGER: Prize in a high stakes poker game!**

**GARLIC JR.: Wow. Never thought you had a poker face.**

**GINGER: Never said I played!**

They laughed a little.

**GARLIC JR.: Once again, fair enough.**

**(they summon Shenron, the eternal dragon)**

"Wow!" Everyone said.

"That was so awesome!" Yang said.

"And well animated." Ren said.

**SHENRON: I am the eternal dragon. Make your wish, and I shall-**

**GARLIC JR.: MAKE ME IMMORTAL!**

"Rude." Weiss said.

**SHENRON: OH! R-really? Wow! I can't remember the last time someone actually nutted up and asked for that! Congrats! Can't wait to hear how you f**k this up.**

Everyone laughed.

"How could he fuck that up? He will become immortal." Yang said.

"Being immortal is great but i's kinda lonely. I know that feeling very well." Nova said.

Then everyone felt sad for Nova.

"Let's just watch the video."

**GARLIC JR.: Wait, the hell's that mean?**

**SHENRON: It means YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED! (makes Garlic Junior immortal and disappears)**

**GARLIC JR.: Yes! YES! I can feel it! With this eternal body, I shall enslave the world and rule it with great prejudice and terror! Hail Garlic Jr.! HAIL ME! (starts walking inside his castle)**

**MINIONS: HAIL GARLIC JR.! HAIL GARLIC JR.!**

**GOKU: HEY, GARLIC JR.!**

**MINIONS: HEY, GARLIC JR.! Huh? (they all turn around to look at Goku)**

Everyone laughed.

"Goku's here! Yay!" Ruby said.

"Great." Weiss said sarcastically.

**GOKU: I am Son Goku! And your name sounds yummy!**

They laughed.

**GARLIC JR.: I have been told.**

**GOKU: So, uh... Did you guys steal my kid?**

**GINGER: Yup! F**kin' Amber Alert up in here!**

"Can someone kill him already?" Weiss said.

**NIKKI: Oh, don't worry about him, he's just high in the throne room.**

**GOKU: Joke's on you! I can fly!**

Most of them facepalmed.

**GINGER: ...I think he's f**kin' dumb.**

Everyone laughed.

**KAMI: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (drops in from the sky)**

"Kami is here too!" Ruby said.

**GARLIC JR.: And then there's THIS asshole!**

**KAMI: Oh, hello, Goku. What are you doing here?**

**GOKU: They stole my kid.**

**KAMI: Mm.**

"They're acting so casual." Pyrrha said.

"Because they know they won't die. I think." Ruby said.

**GARLIC JR.: I'm quite surprised you're still alive, Kami! I believe the last time we talked was... Oh, when was that? Oh, right. When you BANISHED my father to another DIMENSION!**

"Really?" Ruby said.

"Yeah. Kami banished Garlic jr's father to the dead zone." Nova said.

**KAMI: Oh, Garlic Jr.. How awful to see you again. You're looking grotesque as always.**

**GARLIC JR.: Oh, hi there, kettle, name's pot! Have we met?**

"Roasted." Nora said.

**KAMI: Listen, Goku. Just go after your son. I'll handle Garlic Jr..**

**GOKU: Thank God!**

**KAMI: You're welcome. (Goku dashes past Garlic Jr. and heads inside the castle)**

Everyone laughed.

"Why did he said you're welcome?" Blake said.

"Because kami means god in japanese." Nova explained.

**GINGER: Catch that bitch! (takes off after Goku)**

**NIKKI: Slow your roll, champ! (also takes off after Goku)**

**SANSHO: Hey, yo, wait for me! I'm bigger than y'all! (follows his comrades and takes off after Goku)**

"Where did he find those minions?" Weiss said.

**(Garlic Jr. and Kami stare at each other before cutting to Goku inside the castle)**

**GOKU: Man, left in such a hurry, I accidentally skipped lunch! Maybe this place has a cafeteria. No, it's a castle. (stops in the middle of the hall) A meatery? (begins running up the stairs only for Garlic Junior's minions to block his path)**

"How can he about food in a time like this?" Weiss said.

**GINGER: You want some food? We can hook you up! How 'bout some motherf**kin' ginger?!**

**NIKKI: Or maybe some cinnamon?!**

**SANSHO: I got some pepper for you. You like pepper?**

"Those aren't foods." Nora said.

**GOKU: Hey, those aren't foods! Those are things you put ON foods!**

**GINGER: Like GINGERBREAD?!**

**NIKKI: Or CINNABUNS?!**

**SANSHO: I-I got nothin', um... (pause) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGS!**

Everyone laughed.

**(all three minions bulk up)**

"Things got difficult now." Jaune said.

"Goku can handle them." Ruby said.

"Yeah, he's strong as shit." Yang said and everyone started laughing.

**GOKU: Okay, now you're just making me hungry! And you wouldn't like me when I'm- (gets attacked by the minions) Wait! Ahh! (hits a pillar and then gets back up on his feet) ...Hungry!**

"They're so screwed now." Nova said.

**(cut back to Garlic Junior and Kami)**

**GARLIC JR.: So, Kami, you mad that I tried to have you killed?**

**KAMI: More confused why you target Piccolo instead of me. Not that it matters; I'm going to put you down for good, not unlike I did your FATHER, you miserable little-**

**GARLIC JR.: And I will enjoy watching you fail! Because you see, before you arrived, I used the DragonBalls to grant myself immortality! (starts laughing)**

**KAMI: Wait, so you tried to have me killed, then used the DragonBalls?**

**GARLIC JR.: (stops laughing) What? Yeah, why? Oh, shit... Wow, I dodged a bullet on that one! Thank God my minions are so incompetent!**

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

"Kami made the dragon balls. If Kami dies, the dragon balls will not exist, they will be just rocks." Nova said.

"And if Piccolo dies, Kami will die too, because they're the same person." Ren said.

"That's right."

**(cut back to inside the hall with Goku knocking all three minions to the ground)**

**GOKU: Now tell me where the meatery is! ...And then the throne room! ...Please tell me the meatery is IN the throne room! **

"He still thinks about the meatery? He's unbelievable!" Weiss said.

"I want a meatery." Nora said.

**GOKU: (Nikki and Sansho fire a blast at Goku, but their blasts gets redirected by two blasts) Huh?**

"Who was that?" Jaune said.

"It's probably Piccolo." Ruby said.

**KRILLIN: HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! **

"No way." Yang said.

"It's Krillin!" Ruby said.

**KRILLIN: Hey, Goku! Looks like you could use some help!**

"Wait, there were two blasts." Blake said.

**GOKU: Not really, no. Hey, Krillin! Is that a second power beam?**

**PICCOLO: 'Sup?**

Everyone laughed.

"It's Piccolo!" Ruby said.

**(Krillin screams and jumps back)**

Everyone laughed again.

**GOKU: Oh, hey, Piccolo!**

**GINGER: You alive?!**

**GOKU: Well, of course he's alive! Kami's alive! I mean, you guys have used the DragonBalls, right?**

**GINGER: ...Oh, wow! Yeah! Thank God we incompetent!**

They laughed harder.

**PICCOLO: Not even gonna lie, this is EXACTLY what I'm looking for in a castle. Walls, ceiling, meatery...**

**GOKU: WHERE?!**

"Again with the meatery?" Weiss said.

"I want a meatery!" Nora said.

**PICCOLO: (eyes the minions) ..Could do without the spice rack, though.**

**(Krillin is freaking out, when he feels liquid on top of his head, and he looks up to find that Gohan has wandered out and is now peeing on his head)**

Everyone started laughing

**KRILLIN: WHY- (begins to gurgle as his mouth fills up with urine)**

They couldn't laugh louder than now.

"That's gross!" Yang said while laughing.

"Why so much hate at Krillin?" Pyrrha said.

**(Cut back to Kami and Garlic Jr. who have begun their battle. Kami tries firing eye beams at Garlic Jr, but he evades them and headbutts Kami to a pillar.)**

**GARLIC JR.: (punctuates each word with a blow) WHERE...IS...YOUR...GOD...NOW?! (the last punch sends Kami through the pillar, who manages to hold onto an edge to avoid falling)**

"That was a good line." Jaune said.

**GARLIC JR.: So, Kami, why don't you pray for your life? And then, like every person who's ever prayed to you, I'll ignore it! (Kami begins to glow) What the- (Kami uses an Explosive Wave to send Garlic Junior crashing into a wall and landing on his face) (muffled) In case you know... This means war!**

This got a few laughs.

"That sounded like a cartoon line." Ruby said.

"It is a cartoon line." Nova said.

**(cut back to inside the castle)**

**GOKU: Gohan! (runs for the stairs, but his path is once again blocked by the minions) Krillin, I take back what I said! Get my son!**

**KRILLIN: Woo-hoo, I'm helping! (starts running up the stairs, but runs into Sansho)**

**SANSHO: I'ma break your butt! **

Everyone laughed.

"That was a good one." Yang said.

**SANSHO: (charges at Krillin, but Piccolo sends a blast through the floor, which causes him to fall)**

**KRILLIN: Oh, thank God he's on our side! (runs after Gohan)**

**PICCOLO: I was aiming for the short, bald one, but...you'll do.**

"Why he was aiming Krillin?" Pyrrha said.

"Because he is evil." Nova said.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that." Ruby said.

**SANSHO: You mean! (gets blasted him through a wall)**

**PICCOLO: Not so tough without your two back up dancers, are you, ugly?**

**SANSHO: Now, why you gotta be throwin' out mean words like that?!**

**PICCOLO: You know, that's fair. How about I grab a couple of friends and try to murder you instead?**

**SANSHO: Well personally, I think that would be uncalled for! (Piccolo hits him again, sending him stuck onto a wall)**

**PICCOLO: You're right. Because unlike you.. (finishes off Sansho with a blast) ..I don't need help. (starts walking outside)**

"That was so cool! I like Piccolo!" Ruby said.

"Me too. He's badass." Yang said.

"Everyone loves Piccolo." Nova said.

**(deeper inside the castle, Goku is still fighting against Ginger and Nikki, who arm themselves with swords)**

"That's so cool." Ruby said.

**GOKU: Oh, come on, you guys! That's not fair! I can't pull swords out of my body!**

**NIKKI: STAND STILL AND YOU WILL! (he and Ginger gang up and attacks Goku)**

**GOKU: (while dodging each of their attacks) No, no, no, no, no, no, no! (they cut some of his hair) NO! MY 'DO! (hits block both Nikki and Ginger's attacks with his power pole) STRANGER DANGER! (extends the power pole to send Nikki crashing to the ground)**

Everyone laughed.

**GINGER: That shit gets LONGER?!**

**NIKKI: (muffled, in pain) OH, YEAH, IT DOES!**

**GOKU: GOKU KICK! (kicks Ginger in Nikki's direction)**

This got a few laughs.

"That was a normal kick. Why would he name it?" Blake said.

"Because it makes it cooler." Nova said.

**GOKU: Kamehame...**

**GINGER: You ain't got shit! (fires a blast of his own)**

**GOKU: HA! (fires the Kamehameha wave, which swallows Ginger's blasts and sends him flying in Nikki's direction)**

**NIKKI: (thinking) Friggin' hell... Last time I take on a guy with a pole that big...**

Everyone laughed.

"GAAYYY!" Nova yelled.

**GINGER: INCOMING!**

**NIKKI: OH, MY GOD! (they both get caught in the blast)**

They laughed harder.

**GINGER: (muffled from underneath the rubble) What a...a douchebag... (groans with his hand becoming limp)**

**(cut Kami and Garlic Jr. now inside the castle, and Kami's not doing any better than he was before)**

**GARLIC JR.: What's wrong, Kami? Fallen and can't get up? Do I need to push that big, red button for you? (Kami stumbles forward and lands on Garlic Jr.'s shoulder) ...Okay, you're making this weird, Kami.**

"What is he trying to do?" Ruby said.

**KAMI: We'll see how that immortality works out for you when I've blown us both into bits! (locks his arms around Garlic Jr. and begins charging his attack)**

Everyone was shocked.

"He is going to blow himself up?" Blake said.

"But Garlic jr is immortal. It's useless." Ren said.

**GARLIC JR.: Oh, really? You want to stress-test this? Sure, go ahead! And while my men are scraping little green chunks off the wall, I'll be partying in my throne room with a harem of sexy demon skanks! Seriously, what part of IMMORTALITY don't you understand?**

Some of them laughed.

**PICCOLO: Actually, I'm with him. I'm gonna have to ask you not to blow yourself up right now.**

**GARLIC JR.: Well, well... It seems you've eluded my men!**

**PICCOLO: Yeah, sure. Let's go with that.**

They laughed.

"He killed him." Yang said while laughing.

**GARLIC JR.: Oh God, they're all dead, aren't they?**

**GOKU: Yup! Thank goodness they were so incontinent!**

They laughed harder

**GARLIC JR.: Looks like if you want someone killed right...you kill them yourself!**

**PICCOLO: Ooh, I might use that!**

"It wasn't that good."

**(Garlic Junior bulks up, being ten times his original size)**

"Of course he can do that." Yang said sarcastically.

**GOKU: Huh... For a second, there, I swore he was gonna yell out "spaghetti" or something... (Garlic Jr. attacks him and Piccolo and fires a blast, with both of them getting out of the way. Goku grabs Kami to and drops him at a safe distance.) Kami! Stay here and don't move! (takes off)**

"What else can he do?!" Weiss said.

**KAMI: I swear if I didn't know you, I'd call you a smartass.**

Everyone laughed.

**(Piccolo throws a punch at Garlic Jr., which does absolutely nothing)**

**GARLIC JR.: (speaking in a more deeper voice) Been bulking since I installed the meatery!**

**GOKU: ( jumps in front of Piccolo and attacks Garlic Junior) Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?**

Everyone laughed but Weiss got tired with the meatery joke.

**GARLIC JR.: I'm sure you can find one in hell! (fires a blast at Goku and Piccolo simultaneously, which causes the castle to start falling apart)**

**(cut to Krillin running to avoide the falling rocks while carrying Gohan)**

**KRILLIN: (repeatedly says, "Crap!" to the Tetris theme) Crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap, crap. (gets hit by a massive beam on the head, causing him to fall unconscious and drop Gohan, who gets buried under debris)**

Everyone laughed and got worried about Gohan

**(cut to Goku hiding from Garlic Junior)**

**GARLIC JR.: TOOT TOOT! (grabs Goku by the head)**

Everyone laughed.

"What was that?" Ruby said.

"The pain train." Yang said.

**GOKU: Aahh!**

**PICCOLO: (thinking) Ugh, my WRIST.. It doesn't hurt a LOT, but it's DEFINITELY uncomfortable.. Maybe I should get a wrist brace or some-**

"How can he talk about that in a moment like that?" Weiss said.

**GARLIC JR.: PAIN TRAIN'S COMING! (grabs Piccolo's head as well)**

**GOKU: Hey, Piccolo!**

Everyone laughed.

"He's so stupid." Yang said while laughing.

**(Garlic Jr. takes both of them outside of the castle by bursting through a wall)**

**GARLIC JR.: Next stop: ROCK BOTTOM! (crushes them both into the ground)**

**GOKU: (muffled) I get it! **

Everyone laughed harder.

**GOKU: (he and Piccolo get away) That's it! Takin' off my clothes! (takes off his shirt)**

"Oh yeah, I forgot! They were wearing weighted clothing." Ruby said.

**PICCOLO: Wait a minute, why would you even bring your weighted gi?**

**GOKU: Why would you? (Piccolo takes off his cape and turban)**

**PICCOLO: Because I don't have a house to leave them in!**

"Aww, poor Piccolo." Pyrrha said.

**GOKU: Why don't you just buy a house with the Ox-King's money?**

"Is he that stupid?" Blake said.

**PICCOLO: What world do you live in?**

**GOKU: One with a house...and a wife...and a son!**

"Not only he's stupid, he's also a bragging jerk." Weiss said.

**PICCOLO: ...I really don't care for you right now. (both he and Goku charge at Garlic Jr.)**

**GARLIC JR.: Give me your best sho-**

**(Goku and Piccolo blast him simutaneously, sending him flying away)**

"He's dead!" Ruby said.

"He's immortal." Blake said.

"Oh."

**GOKU: And that's the way the garlic crumbles!**

**KAMI: You DO realize he's immortal.**

"Exactly."

**PICCOLO: Pretty sure you chop garlic.**

**KAMI: Seriously, he wished for immortality before you showed up!**

Everyone laughed.

"They're ignoring him!" Yang said.

**GOKU: Either way, I call this another win for Goku!**

**PICCOLO: 'Scuse me? That was my kill!**

**KAMI: He's going to get up at any moment! He's got this technique, too, and it's-**

**GOKU: Piccolo, it's not a competition! I already won!**

Everyone is surprised by Goku's attitude

"Goku is such an asshole." Yang said.

**KAMI: You can still sense him! He's not-**

**PICCOLO: I am going to wear your entrails as sweatbands!**

Everyone laughed with that.

**KAMI: I can literally see the debris SHAKING!**

**(Goku and Piccolo ignore Kami and attack each other, and Garlic Junior gets back up)**

**GARLIC JR.: I AM ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT DONE!**

**(summons the a dark abyss known as the Dead Zone, which begins sucking up everything, although Goku and Piccolo don't notice until it causes the floor below them crumbples, which causes them to fall)**

"What is that black hole?!" Ruby said.

**GARLIC JR.: This is the Dead Zone! The SAME dimension you banished my dear father to, Kami!**

Everyone was on the edge of their seat now.

**KAMI: So is that how your father receives conjugal visits?!**

**GARLIC JR.: EAT A DICK, YOU WRINKLED GREEN DUSTBIN!**

Everyone laughed.

**(the dead zone is starting to suck everything into it, including the castle)**

**PICCOLO: NO! My castle! (starts flying towards the Dead Zone, but Goku manages to grab him by the foot)**

"He was thinking to take the castle after the fight?" Blake said.

"It had a meatery. Who can say no?" Nova said.

**GOKU: Hey, Piccolo! He's not dead!**

"No shit." Everyone said.

**PICCOLO: YEAH, how 'bout that?!**

**KAMI: YEAH, HOW 'BOUT THAT?!**

**PICCOLO: Well, then...this victory is MINE! (fires a blast at Garlic Jr., but it just bounces off)**

**GOKU: ...You want, I should take a turn?**

Everyone laughed.

**PICCOLO: Shove it, Goku!**

**(meanwhile, Krillin regains consciousness as he is being sucked toward the Dead Zone)**

**KRILLIN: OH GOD, NO!**

"No Krillin!" Pyrrha said.

**GARLIC JR.: EVERYONE IS GETTING SUCKED TODAY! Demons, humans, and Gods alike! It's even sucking up your children!**

**GOHAN: LEAVE MY DADDY ALONE! (crashes through the debris he was buried under)**

"Gohan is fine!" Ruby said.

"And angry." Yang said.

**GARLIC JR.: Huh?**

**GOKU: Gohan?! Krillin, you had one job!**

Everyone laughed.

**GARLIC JR.: Oh, how cute! And what is the four-year-old going to do to stop me? (Gohan sends a blast at him which hits him head on) Ah. (flies inside the Dead Zone, which shatters)**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"That was so lame!" Yang said while laughing.

**(cut to Gohan sleeping in Goku's arms)**

**GOHAN: (wakes up and see Goku) Daddy!**

**GOKU: Hey, son!**

**GOHAN: What happened?**

**GOKU: I don't know! I think I won.**

"He took the credit! Unbelievable!" Weiss said.

**GOHAN: You're the best, daddy!**

**GOKU: Uh-huh! Now, let's go han, Go-home! It's almost time for dikfast! (picks up his power pole and walks away with Krillin and Kami)**

"Let's Gohan gohome."Yang said whilie laughing.

**PICCOLO: (watching from above) ...I'm gonna steal that kid.**

Everyone laughed.

**(shows Goku and Gohan heading home on the Flying Nimbus)**

**NARRATOR: And so, the brave Son Goku and his son defeated the evil Garlic Jr.! With the help of Piccolo, Kami, and the greatest ally known to man-kind...**

**KRILLIN: ...The sex master and kung-fu legend- (cut to Kame House) KRILLIN!**

Everyone laughed.

**Nappa: (on the phone) Yeah, okay, so I'm gonna have to stop you right there. First question: WHY would he summon the Dead Zone-the only thing that could defeat him?**

"Isn't that one of the saiyans from the first episode?" Ren said.

"Yeah, it's a long story with a lot of spoilers." Nova said.

**KRILLIN: Okay, you know, I wrote myself into a corner with that whole immortality thing. Pretty much regretted it immediately after.**

"What is going on?" Jaune said.

"Everything that happened is actually a movie script by Krillin." Nova said.

"So it never happened." Blake said.

"Yes."

**Nappa: Second question, I mean no offense: Why exactly were you there?**

"Yeah, why was he there?" Yang said.

**KRILLIN: I do bring a certain humanistic edge to the setting...**

**Nappa: And WHY did you write yourself getting peed on?**

"Who would write that?" Blake said.

**KRILLIN: The better question is: how much will you PAY ME to get peed on?**

**Nappa: ...You're gonna go far in this business.**

**KRILLIN: Woo-hoo!**

Everyone laughed.

**[The film, Skygina, was eventually grossed 7 billion Zeni in its first to Krillin's lack of foresight, however, as well as a convoluted contract, he received no money from the film and was stricken from the credits.**

Everyone laughed.

"What an idiot." Weiss said.

**He now lives, broke as the day he was born, at Kame House.]**

"Poor Krillin." Pyrrha said.

**("Twlight Zone" by Golden Earring starts playing as the credits roll. Garlic Jr. is shown pounding his fist as he is trapped in the Dead Zone.)**

"That movie was nice." Yang said.

"It was okay." Weiss said.

"The animation was good, for it's time." Ren said.

"The music was fitting." Jaune said.

"I want a meatery." Nora said.

"Dragon Ball is now my favourite cartoon!" Ruby said.

_*record scratch*_

"What?" Nova said.

"What?"

"What did you say?"

"What did I say?"

"About Dragon Ball."

"What?"

"About being a cartoon."

"It's not?"

"Of course it's not! It's an anime!"

"What's the difference?" Blake said.

"Anime is art!"

"Aren't technically cartoons also art?" Jaune said.

"Anime is different, okay?!"

"Why are you acting like a cringy nerd?" Yang said.

"I don't know. I guess you're right. Also the correct term is weeaboo."

"What is a weeaboo?" Ruby said.

"That's a nice question. Let's watch this video to answer your question."

**And done. Next chapter is Weeaboos by Filthy Frank. Like, follow and review. **

**Also, don't except any new chapters these two months because I'll be studying for the most imporant exam of my life, literally. See you in June. **


	10. Little update

**Little update**

**Hey everyone. I couldn't hold myself. I'm going to make them continue watching videos, then make them play some games. But I need your opinion. I think about making them watch a cartoon, but the characters are replaced by them. Should I do it? If yes what cartoon? **


	11. Weeaboos

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING:Randomness, dank memes and a few grammar mistakes. **

**Chapter 9: Weeaboos **

Nova started the video.

**Frank:(in japanese)Welcome. Welcome to the Filthy Frank show. **

"What language does he speak?" Blake said.

"Japanese." Nova said.

**Frank:(in japanese) Today I will teach you something good.(gets closer)Are you ready to have some fun? I sure am! **

"Ewwwww!" all the girls said.

"Come on! The subtitles are wrong." Nova said.

"What did he say?" Ren said.

"Something about dead jewish people or something."

**Frank:Konnichiwa you magnificent bastards!**

"Here we go again." Weiss said.

**Frank:I've got a joke for ya. Fucking weeaboos go to Japan and be like: "Whe-wher-where are the subtitles?" **

They laughed.

"What was that voice?" Yang said.

**Frank:Now today I wanna talk about an issue that affects us on a global scale. Weeaboos. For those of you who don't know what a weeaboo is:(shows definition) A non japanese person who basically denounces their own culture and call themselves japanese. They try to learn the language through the anime they watch and usually end up pronouncing it wrong and looking like a complete idiot. KEEP IN MIND: that a non-japanese person can like the culture, watch anime, speak the language and RESPECT THE CULTURE, while still keeping in touch with their own. Which keeps them from being a weeaboo.(japanophile, etc.). Weeaboos basically disrespect the culture and make complete asses of themselves. **

Everyone knew now what a weeaboo is and laughed with that last sentence.

"Best definition ever." Yang said.

**Frank:Even if you don't know the definition, you've definitely seen these guys around. On the internet,(shows weeaboos) at your local comic book store, in your mom's smell bad, they're disgusting.**

Everyone laughed.

"In your mom's attic. That so true!" Ruby said.

**Frank: Now before I go into this I want you guys to realize that there's a difference between being a person that just likes anime and people that are full-on disgusting unhygienic weeaboos. If you just like watching those japanese cartoons(shows picture of anime) and you're an alright person, Go for it, bud, I don't give a shit. **

"The girl in the photo has animal ears!" Nora said.

"I told you. People with animal characteristics are a thing in Japan." Nova said.

**Frank:If you like to watch a little hentai on the down low that ain't my problem yo. YEAH YOU KNOW I WATCH THAT SHIT BRUH. Sex invertebrates! **

"What is hentai?" Ruby said.

"Porn." Nova said.

**Frank:I mean I feel with you guys. My favorite animes consist of Toy Story, Cory in the House, airplane instruction videos from the eighties, you know, Seinfeld. **

"Those aren't anime." Weiss said.

"That's the joke." Nova said.

**Frank:You know, we all like the same shit, I get it, I'm an anime fan as well. But this is when you have a real fucking problem.(weeaboo impression) I have a katana collection. I've been learning japanese on Rosetta Stone for like five weeks now. I've had so much sex with my body pillow that it stands on its own now. **

"Ewwww!" Everyone said.

"Those are total losers!" Weiss said.

**Frank:(weeaboo impression) My waifu is coming to life. Don't talk shit about Attack on Titan. It's a really good show. I've been really thinking about going to Japan soon. I know how to use chopsticks, I know hiragana, 'cause, you know, I don't feel like anybody here is on my, uh, anime expertise level. First I'll have to get a job. That's- that's the first thing.**

Everyone laughed.

"Do these people really think that watching these shows makes them japanese?" Blake said.

"Yeah." Nova said.

"That's pretty sad." Yang said.

**Frank:Like, dude, I get that some of you collected weapons or something but that's already kind of red flag-ish in the first place.**

"Really?" Ruby said.

"Yeah, weapons are illegal on Earth." Nova said.

"Earth is lame."

**Frank:But if you're wasting money on, like, japanese weapons that you can't even use, that's, that's actually like a problem, you should notify your school. **

"Why the school?" Jaune said.

**Frank:Just because you try and dress and act like a certain ethnic group, it doesn't mean you're that ethnic group. You know, when I was younger I used to want to be Thomas the Tank Engine(shows Thomas) , but that shit never happened! We all have dreams. **

"Aww, he wanted to be a train when he was a kid." Pyrrha said.

"With a slightly disturbing face." Yang added.

**Frank:I just wanted a piece of Percy's ass, you feel me(laughs)? You know, I just wanted a piece of that helicopter's ass(laughs). **

Everyone laughed.

"Moment ruined."

**Frank:Dreams don't come true. Face it bud, you're never gonna be japanese. And changing your avatar to hentai or waifu or whatever they're called and being a self-righteous faggot literally everywhere on the internet. It's not gonna help! These people with anime avatars are everywhere. Every comment section, every Twitter discussion, you know, everyone in the Facebook comments. And you say one thing about anime and these guys will fuck you up man. They will breathe really heavy and start typing on the keyboard really fast(he's close to the camera, types and breathes beavily). **

Everyone laughed.

"That's so true!" Yang said while laughing.

**Frank:You sure showed me(he makes a weird sound and it's repeated three times). **

"What was that sound?" Weiss said.

**Frank:Like, damn, who put a good old Rasengan up your ass, you feel me? Oh shit. Yo, a pigeon just landed on my- Do you hear that? There's a pigeon outside my window.**

Everyone laughed.

"He stopped the video for a pidgeon!" Yang said.

**Frank:-the fuck out.(in japanese) This is my house. **

They couldn't stop laughing.

**Frank:Also, the worst part is you think you know all about Japan after watching like, what, six anime series. Like, you believe that schoolgirls have eyes these big. You believe that everyone holds a fucking katana on the trains.**

"Yea we do." Ruby said.

**Frank:Nobody practices jutsus in the corner. And nobody talks like this(says stuff in japanese like in anime). **

Everyone cringed.

"They do talk like that!" Ruby said while laughing.

"You got to admit. For a not japanese person, his japanese are good." Nova said

**Getting a body pillow and masturbating to animated thirteen year old girls doesn't make you japanese. It just makes you a borderline pedophile. **

Everyone was shocked.

**Frank:And also guys, as much as I wish it was true, not all asians girls sound like(does japanese girl orgasms). **

The girls were kinda offended and the boys liked it.

"What's going on guys? Do I see a little boner?" Nova said. They did have a boner and got red from embarassment. The girls were shocked.

"JAUNE!" Pyrrha said.

"REN!" Nora said.

"You got caught with your hands on your dick." Yang said.

"Nova got a boner too!" Jaune said trying to move the attention somewhere else. Indeed Nova got a boner too.

"Fuck." Nova said. The girls were disgusted by the boys.

**Frank:I definitely woke my neighbors up. Shit. My neighbors heard that for sure. **

They forgot about the boner i cident and laughed.

**Frank:I think my neighbors are weeaboos, they probably think I'm getting mad pussy. 'Cause you know I get all that it is scrum-diddly-umptious.**

"Eww gross."Ruby said.

**Frank:As an outsider, you're literally praising one of the most xenophobic cultures that exist today. IRONY! **

"Really?" Blake said.

"Kinda." Nova said.

**Frank:What you're doing would be like a japanese person doing this(opens his eyes), wearing a cowboy hat and boots, swinging a rope around and going "Yeehaw!"(japanese accent) Herro. My namu is Cowboy Tanaka. **

Everyone laughed.

"That accent!" Yang said while laughing.

"I don't get what he said about the eyes." Pyrrha said.

"All asian people have eyes that look like that." Nova said and showed what asian eyes are. Everyone got that now.

"You know, it's kinda weird because two of you are asian and one of them has asian eyes."

"Who?" Jaune said.

"Ren.". Then everyone looked at Ren.

"You're right, he has asian eyes." Blake said. "Who's the other one?"

"Yang."

"I'm asian?" she said.

"Yeah, your name is chinese.".

"What about me?" Nora said.

"What's your last name?"

"Valkyrie."

"Skandinavian."

"What about the rest of us?" Ruby said.

"You're American, Weiss is German, Blake is Italian, Jaune is French and Pyrrha is Greek. Any more questions?"

Everyone was surprised and fascinated by his answers.

"Okay then, let's continue."

**Frank:A lot of people get defensive about this. Look, I'm always getting harassed by everybody to make fun of disease, you know race, you know, black people, jews, everyone's like "Yeah, do it, do it do it" But as soon as I even touch anime- "Woah woah woah, too far!, everybody, let Frank relax!" You can make fun of anything but anime. This is the Filthy Frank Show. Make up your fucking mind bro. Like, over here at the Filthy Frank Show, we support prejudice equality. Everyone gets shit. What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? A redneck virgin. **

Everyone was shocked except for Nova because he couldn't stop laughing.

**Frank:See? Look, everyone gets shit here. Yeah, take that, white people! **

**White person:Follow your dreams, son. **

Everyone laughed.

**But still, I can't help but feel scared. Man, those weeaboos, man, they're fucking scary, I'm not gonna lie. It's almost like I can hear 'em just, breathing really fucking heavy, and just pounding down on their keyboards, full-on Caps Lock I'm not fucking around this time. **

This got a few laughs.

**Salamander Man:(enters the room) NYEES! (papa franku!) **

Everyone was surprised.

"What the fuck is that!?" Yang said.

"Why is he twisting his nipples?!" Blake said.

**Salamander:NYEES! (The weeaboos are coming!) **

"Okay it got really weird." Yang said.

**Frank:What the fuck, Salamander Man? What's going on? Tell me, tell me. **

**Salamander:Nyees!(Those fucking nerds are coming.) **

"I don't want to see him playing with his nipples." Ruby said covering her eyes.

**Frank:Alright Salamander Man, relax, relax. I knew this day would come. **

**Salamander:(plays his flute with his nose) **

"That's kinda impressive." Ruby said.

"No it's not!" Weiss said.

"I want to play flute with my nose!" Nora said.

**Frank:Safari Man.**

**Safari Man:(japanese) Franku! But aren't we japanese? **

**Frank:Apparently everyone has to look like an anime character, Safari Man. **

**Safari Man:(japanese) We have to run! Hahaha. **

"He didn't sound like he said that." Ren said.

"I think he said something about liking pussy." Nova said. The girls groaned.

**Frank:Now relax guys, me and Pink Guy are gonna take care of this. Pink Guy! **

**Pink guy:(turns at Frank) **

"What the fuck is that face?" Yang said.

**Frank:You remember the training? **

**Pink guy:(nods) **

They couldn't hold their laughter, especially Nova.

**Frank:Quick, to the Weeaboo Protection Chamber!**

"What is happening?" Ruby said.

"The weeaboos are coming." Nova said.

**Frank: (runs to the chamber) I knew this day would come. Pink Guy, Pink Guy! Where are you? **

**Pink guy:Ey, boss. **

Everyone laughed.

"Ey boss." Ruby repeated.

**Frank:Oh, there you are. It's ok now, we're safe. We're in the Weeaboo Protection Chamber. **

**Pink guy: CANSOMEBODYGIMMETHEPUSSYPLEASE. (Franku you are growing a neckbeard.) **

They couldn't stop laughing.

**Frank:What the hell are you talking about?(zooms on his neckbeard)Oh, shit. It's spreading. The disease is spreading.(sees Weeaboo Jones coming.) **

**Weeaboo Jones:(walks like a weeaboo) **

They couldn't stop laughing.

"Why is he walking like that?" Ruby said.

**Frank:Weeaboo Jones? **

**Pink guy:(in a corner crying) Boss! Boss, please!**

**Weeaboo Jones:(walks) **

**Pink guy:Boss, please, give me the pussy. **

They were laughing so hard.

**Weeaboo Jones:(walks) (screams) Rasengan! (sharingan eyes) Kagebunshin no jutsu(X2)(throws poor edited weapons with lame sound effects) **

"Best fight ever. Probably a lot better than your fights." Nova said.

"What? Our fight are a hundred times better than this!" Ruby said.

**Frank:(evades and makes japanese girl orgasms)**

Everyone laughed.

**Weeaboo Jones:Rasengan... Rossetta stone... **

"What is a rasengan?" Ruby said.

"The rasengan is a ninja technique from Naruto. It's a ball made of chakra." Nova said.

"Chakra?" Jaune said.

"Life energy." Ren said.

"In Naruto it's actually ki, you know like in Dragon Ball."

**Frank: It's no use. Weeaboo Jones is too strong. That's it. I know exactly what I need to do.(he gets up and gives him the middle finger) Fuck you, Weeaboo Jones! I love Family Guy! (throws reality checks) **

**Random voice:Reality check! Reality check! **

Everyone laughs.

"Get real." Yang said.

**Frank:(keeps throwing like an idiot and hits Weeaboo Jones) **

**Weeaboo Jones:(falls defeated) (weeaboo song starts playing with photos of weeaboos) **

"What's going on? Is this a song?" Ruby said.

_**Konnichiwa, senpai**_

_**Please notice me**_

_**I watch Asian cartoons**_

_**I'm a weeaboo**_

_**I live in my mom's house**_

_**I'm like 32**_

_**I collect swords and throwing stars**_

_**'Cause I'm a weeaboo**_

_**Sticks and stones may break my bones**_

_**But I will always be one step ahead of you**_

_**Because I read the manga**_

_**(You're such a fucking pleb, are you even even Japanese bro?)**_

_**I haven't showered in like 16 weeks**_

_**All my friends and peers are ashamed of me**_

_**'Cause all of a sudden**_

_**I think I'm Japanese**_

_**[Chorus]**_

_**Yes, I'm a weeaboo**_

_**Yes, I'm a weeaboo**_

_**Yes, I'm a weeaboo**_

_**Yes, I'm a weeaboo**_

_**A filthy weeaboo**_

_**(Naruto's so overrated)**_

_**A dirty weeaboo**_

_**(You wanna see my katana collection?)**_

_**A fucking weeaboo**_

_**(I'm learning Japanese on Rosetta Stone)**_

_**A disgusting weeaboo**_

_**(So I'm like basically Japanese now) **_

Everyone was shocked.

"I want to rip my own eyes off." Blake said.

**Weeaboo Jones:(moves weirdly) Konni- Konnichiwa. Rossetta Stone. **

**Frank :Anyways, point is: You can do whatever the fuck you want, I don't give a shit. Just don't bring that shit near me. I'm a fucking hustler. I'm gonna say it again, guys. I have nothing against anime. I have nothing against any of that shit. Everything I just said could be applied to any kind of other obsession. Like, just take it easy man. Also, if you let a 52 year old man in glasses and a dirty shirt tell you what to do with your life, that's pretty fucking sad. But not as sad as a fucking weeaboo. Sayonara bastards, I'm out. Peace.**

Everyone laughed

_**It's Filthy Frank mothafucka, it's Filthy Frank bitch**_

**(shows Sasuke cosplayer getting arrested) **_**Let's get some pussy tonight. **_

"He got arrested? Weeaboos are insane!" Weiss said.

"Now that I watched it I want to ask you, if you were in an anime, what would it be?" Nova asked.

"I guess our lifes are interesting enough to be an anime." Blake said.

"Can you imagine our life being an anime?" Ruby said.

"Please, like who would watch that?" Weiss said.

"Everyone." Yang said.

"I was thinking something like you being in a very fairy tale like world, with knights, wizards, dragons, princesses and demons." Nova said.

"Actually that would be really good." Pyrrha said.

"I love the idea." Ruby said.

"Or a show about kids going to school and cause trouble, like a comedy." Nova said.

"Maybe, but I don't think so." Weiss said.

"I think it would be pretty fun." Ruby said.

"Or a show about you being a group of pop singers, making a band."

"I like that." Weiss said.

"Or something really girly, like you having magic powers, colorful hair and clothes, using the power of glitter and friendship and crap."

"That sounds pretty lame." Yang said.

"And having Dragon Ball type of battles."

"Really? There is a show like that?" Ruby said.

"Yeah there is. It's like if Sailor Moon and Dragon Ball Z had a daughter."

"Sailor Moon?" Blake said.

"It's about a group of girls being super heroines. There are no epic fights I think. It's more of just the life of a teenage girl, but with cool animation, special effect and poses."

"That sounds like something little girls and perverts would watch." Yang said.

"You're not wrong. The point is if you were in an anime, it would be cool and you would be in body pillows, guaranteed."

That last comment freaked out the girls.

"Anyway, what should we watch next?"

"Another one of those honest trailers." Ruby said.

"Ok."

**And done. Next chapter is honest game trailers mortal kombat. Now about the cartoon question, the cartoon will be spongebob. Why? Because everything fits with fucking spongebob. Like, follow and review. See you soon. **


	12. Honest Game Trailers MK

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING:Randomness, dank memes and a few grammar mistakes. **

**Chapter 10:Honest Game Trailers Mortal Kombat **

Nova started the video.

**AWM:The following trailer is rated for honest. From the developers who created one of the best fighting games of all time, then did everything they could to ruin it, comes the franchise that taught kids all they know about human anatomy and absolutely nothing about spelling: MORTAL KOMBAT.**

"Please not Mortal Kombat." Weiss said.

"Relax, the games are not that gross." Nova said.

**AWM:Experience all 9 of the kore kaptivating kombats. Uhh... can we get those k's into c's? (changes the k's into c's) Thanks. **

Everyone laughed.

**AWM:There's the bloody arcade sensation that started it all(MK1), including the ESRB rating system.**

"Mortal Kombat was the first game with age restriction?" Ruby said.

"Yeah, because of Sub-Zero's fatality." Nova said.

"What was it?" Jaune said.

"He ripped off the opponent's head along with his spine."

"I really want to play this game now!" Yang said.

**AWM:The sequel that was better in every way(MK2).**

"Stage fatalities! Cool!" Ruby said.

**AWM:An avalanche of turds that almost bankrupted the company(Special forces, MK4, Mythologies, Deadly Alliance and Deception). **

"What about Armageddon?" Nova said.

**AWM:A franchise saving reboot(MK9). And the game we all agree to NEVER SPEAK OF AGAIN(MK VS DC universe). **

"Was it that bad?" Ruby said.

"It wasn't that violent for a Mortal Kombat game." Nova said.

**AWM:Test your might in the Mortal Kombat tournament, where you'll face of non-mortals, like a centaur(Motaro), a four-armed dragon monster(Goro) and a literal god(Raiden). **

"These characters look so cool!" Ruby said.

**AWM:Choose your combatant from a vast selection of not so original characters featuring:1 Bruce Lee ripoff, 3 different cops, 3 identical asian chicks, 4 interchangable cyborgs and 7 palette swapped ninjamen. **

**Dan Forden:LAZY! **

Everyone laughed.

"Who was that?" Yang said.

"Dan Forden. In Mortal Kombat everytime you did 3 or 4 uppercuts in a row, he would appear and say TOASTY." Nova said.

**AWM:Try to follow the series concluding story of evil sorcerers trying to conquer the Earthrealm, which for some reason always comes down to a 1 on 1 martial arts tournament. It is actually a pretty humane way to settle war if you think about it. **

"Yeah it is a good way to settle war." Pyrrha said.

"We have the Vytal festival." Weiss said.

"I learned about that. Are you participating in the tournament?" Nova said.

"Yeah we are and we're going to win!" Yang said.

"In your dreams!" Nora said.

"Oh yeah!?"

"Yeah!"

**AWM:(characters doing down circle) Cheat your way to victory to this ultra violent street fighter for dummies, then finish off your opponent with the ultimate humiliation, like:turning them into a baby(babality). **

Everyone laughed.

"That's so funny!" Ruby said.

**AWM:Putting them in the friend zone (friendship). **

They laughed more.

**AWM:Or ending their pathetic lifes with a fatality. That is if you could just... get the damn move right.(fails) OH COME ON! What the hell is jump distance anyway?!**

The ones who play games laughed.

"That's so true!" Ruby said.

"I never get those kind of moves right!" Yang said.

**AWM:Break up your epic quest to slaughter your enemies and save all of humanity, with cute little minigames like:poor kombat, mortal pongbat, and Mario kartbat. (plays motor kombat) WEEE!**

Everyone was surprised.

"I want to play that game so badly!" Ruby said.

"Me too! I want to do some kart racing!" Nora said.

**AWM:So prepare for the fighting gamea sensation that took America by store, spawning: one great 90s movie, one horrible 90s movie. **

**Sonya: You're alive! **

**Sindel: Too bad you, will die! **

"That was terrible." Blake said.

"All video game movies are bad." Jaune said.

"I never saw the second one." Nova said.

**AWM:And the best 90s dance track ever! **

**MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT!(plays song) **

"That was awesome!" Yang said.

"It doesn't say that much." Weiss said.

**AWM:Oh man, this is like, the lasertag national anthem. Starring:**

**WOLOLOLOLOL(Liu Kang) **

Everyone laughed.

"What was that?" Yang said while laughing.

"That's what he says when he does a bicycle kick." Nova said.

**The last mohican(Nighthawk) **

**Butterface(Mileena) **

Everyone was scared with Mileena's face.

"What's wrong with her face?! She has teeth in her entire jaw!" Weiss said.

**Jack Skellington(Scorpion) **

**Miley Cyrus(Reptile) **

"I don't get it." Pyrrha said.

"Miley Cyrus is a THOT." Nova said.

"What is a THOT?" Ruby said.

"It's an acronym. That Hoe Over There. THOT."

"That's a pretty smart acronym." Yang said.

"No it's not." Weiss said.

"Think about it. The only thoughts in every boy's mind are girls. Think about it." Everyone thought about it and it made sense to them.

"It does make sense." Blake said. Everyone nodded.

**Paul Blart Moll Cop(Stryker) **

**The hot teacher from Billy Madison(Sonya Blade), the one the bewbs. **

The boys liked what they saw.

**Channing Tatum(Johnny Cage) **

**Oddjob(Kung Lao) **

"His hat is so cool! " Ruby said.

**Handjob(Goro) **

**Bewbjob(Sheeva) **

"I hope the next one won't be-"

"DON'T say it!" Weiss interrupted Yang.

"S U C C!" Nova said and everyone laughed.

**Let it gooo! Let it gooo! (Sub-Zero) **

**And Baraka Obama(Baraka) **

**Mortal Kombat **

**AWM:Did you know the first Mortal Kombat game was supposed to be a Jean-Claude Van Damme game, but then they backed out and turned him into Johnny Cage? Man, that would be cooler than Shaq Fu!**

**(end of video) **

"That was awesome! I want to play that game more than anything now!" Yang said.

"Me too!" Ruby said.

"I'm glad you want to play it. I have one question though. If you were in Mortal Kombat what your fatalities would be? Can you say two fatalities you could do?" Nova said.

"Uhh, we don't like killing people... " Ruby said.

" Cmon, you slay monsters every day, you could think a creative way to kill them!"

"Umm... Oh, I could run fast in circles around one, creating a hurricane of rose petals and cut it into tiny pieces, ending it with a cool pose!"

"And the second?"

"I could turn my scythe into a sniper, shoot it with explosive dust, blow it up, its limbs in the air and shoot each limb."

"Good. But why rose petals?"

"My semblance is speed and behind me I leave a trail of rose petals."

"Hm, that's actually beautiful enough to be in a portrait. Someone should draw you while you run."

"Thanks." she said.

"What about you snowflake?"

"Don't call me that. I could use my semblance and summon stalagmites under it or burn it to ashes."

"Both of them unoriginal but good."

"What?!"

"What about you Blake?"

"Why didn't you nickname her?"

"Because I'm not a racist asshole."

"Thanks. I don't know. I could use my semblance to stealth kill them." Blake said.

"What's your semblance?"

"I can create shadow clones."

"Cool, like Naruto!"

"Who?"

"He's the 7th hokage. He's one of the most powerful ninjas. He can create shadow clones too."

"How?"

"Like this. Kagebunshin no jutsu!" Nova then created two clones of himself. "TADAA!" said all of them.

Everyone was surprised and fascinated by it.

"That's so cool!" Ruby said.

"Yeah, we are.". Then the clones disappeared. "Can you do it like that?"

"No, my clones are not like that." Blake said.

"Too bad. How about you goldielocks?"

"I could punch it so many times, I could make it look like swiss cheese." Yang said.

"Nice!"

"Or I could get angry and break all of his bones."

"Ooo I like it! What about you Link?"

"Link?" Jaune said.

"He's a videogame character. What could be your fatalities?"

"I don't know, I just have a sword and I haven't unlocked my semblance yet."

"I think you could do it like a knight. You know, in an epic way."

"Really?"

"Yeah. What about you orange?"

"I could use my hamner break its legs and while it's down, I could smash his belly and then smash its head like a watermelon!" Nora said.

"Good, I love it! What about you Wonder Woman?"

"I don't know... I don't feel good talking about finish off my opponents." Pyrrha said.

"It's okay, I get it. How about you Ren?"

"Stealth kills too." Ren said.

"Nice, I've created murderers.". Everyone laughed with that.

"Nova can we watch something not involving death?" Pyrrha said.

"Okay. How about a try not to challenge?"

"Yeah why not?" Yang said.

"Alright then.". Then Nova started the next video.

**And done. Next chapter is a try not to laugh challenge. Which one, I won't tell. Like, follow and review. See you soon. **


	13. Try not to laugh part 1

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING:Randomness, dank memes and a few grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 11:Try not to laugh #1(Racist and dank memes) ****(by CloroxBleachTM)**

"Is everyone ready?" Nova asked everyone. Everyone got water bottles and filled their mouths with water. They nodded. "OK then.". He filled his mouth with water and started the video.

**Clip 1**

**Coomercial guy:It's time for #allday-**

**Breakfast kid:BREAKFAST!**

Only Nova spat water.

"FUCK!" he said. "With the first video!".

**Clip 2**

**Sullivan:Boo?(looks around and sees two Spidermans**(Spidermans? Spidermen?)**,one of them slapping the ass of the other.)**

Ruby, Yang, Jaune, Nora and Nova spag water and started laughing.

"What was that?" Ruby said.

"Two people with Spiderman costumes "having sex"" Nova said doing air quotes.

**Clip 3**

**("I'm blue" video plays)**

**Idubbz:I'm gay!(song continues)**

Yang spat water.

"Cmon!" she said.

**Clip 4**

**Iguana:What did you say about my mom?**

**Plush:She's fat.**

**Iguana:Take that back.**

**Plush:No.(he gets attack by the iguana)**

Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Pyrrha spat water.

"That was really funny!" Ruby said while laughing.

"And it was kinda adorable!" Pyrrha said.

**Clip 5**

**Weather reported gets hit by a stop sign.**

Everyone spat water.

"Is she ok?" Pyrrha said.

"I don't know." Nova said.

**Clip 6**

**Cat:Diabetes**

Ruby and Weiss spat water and laughed.

"Dangit!" Ruby said.

**Clip 7**

**Bear:Luna, do you have time to sing a goodbye song before you go?**

**Luna:How about no you fucking raisin!(leaves)**

They almost spat but they held the water.

**Clip 8**

**Trump:Look at that African-American over there! Look at him! (shows black kid) Are you the greatest? You know what I'm talking about?**

No one laughed. They found it really mean and racist.

**Clip 9**

**Commercial guy:How it feels to chew 5gum?(crazy guy jumps in lockers) Stimulate your senses.**

Ruby, Nora and Nova spat water.

"Aw man, this challenge is hard!" Ruby said.

"I know! And I have watched it!" Nova said.

**Clip 10**

**A kit kat commercial where people snap their kit kats, then switches to a kid were he's**(I don't know what the fuck he's doing)

No one laughed.

**Clip 11**

**Kids:Yeah! It's Man of Popsicle!**

**Girl:My favourite flavor of popsicle is dick!**

Blake and Yang spat water and started laughing.

**Clip 12**

**Loki:I have an army.**

**Tony:We have a Hulk.**

**Old man:You know I have diabetes.**

Everyone spat water and laughed.

**Clip 13**

**Rafiki throws Simba at a supermarket employee**

**Employee: OH fuck me right in the asshole!**

Everyone spat and laughed.

"I love these type of videos!" Ruby said.

**Clip 14**

**Guy Fire I:(eats) That is gangster.**

**Chef:I'm gonna slap yo ass.**

They almost spat.

**Clip 15**

**Asian woman:I'll turn now. Good luck everybody else! (turns and causes traffic accident)**

Everyone spat water, half of them laughed and the rest were shocked.

"That wasn't funny! That was terrible!" Weiss said.

"And I think it was kinda racist." Blake said.

"It is racist." Nova said.

**Clip 16**

**Trump the builder:I will built a great wall and I will have Mexico pay for that wall.**

No one laughed and started to hate Trump.

**Clip 17**

**Elsa freezes the lake.**

**Guy:Bro look at my fucking cat!(cat dead and frozen)**

Only Nova spat and laughed. The others were shocked.

**Clip 18**

**Parts of 60s Spiderman intro with him web shooting and pulling an old lady and a girl.**

They tried to hold the water in their mouths.

**Clip 19**

**Daddy Pig:You can watch me dive.**

**Peppa:Your tummy is too big.**

**Daddy Pig:(Jontron's voice)What did you fucking just say to me? You piece of shit!**

They tried so hard to not laugh.

**Clip 19**

**Whitney Huston:And-**

**Fat kid:AAAAAAAAA-**

Everyone spat water.

"Cmon!" Yang said.

**Clip 20**

**A fat woman jumps into a lake but misses and blows up the Earth with earrape music in the backround.**

Everyone spat and laughed.

"That was so mean!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**Clip 21**

**Do the flop guy:Everybody do the flop!(woman flop to a glass table)**

No one laughed. They were just shocked.

**Clip 22**

**Narrator:Moses said"I will now turn aside and see this great sight. Why the is not burnt?". When the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called on to him out of the midst of the bush and said "Moses(changes voice)GET THE WATER NIGGA! IT'S GOING DOWN! AH THE MOTHERFUCKING BOOTLEG FIREWORK! SHIT!**

Everyone spat and laughed.

"Oh father." Nova said while laughing.

"Father?" Ten said.

"Yeah, my father. How do you think I was created?"

"We just assumed that you're the god of your universe." Blake said.

"I'm one of his children."

**Clip 23**

**Beaver**(I don't remember her name)**:That's it! Do this, do that! You're just too bossy Franklin:**

**Franklin:Shut up you ugly bitch!**

Yang and Nova spat water and laughed.

**Clip 24**

**Caillou:(sneezes and drops his food)**

**His mom:(Jontron voice) You fucking idiot! Piece of shit!**

No one laughed because they got used to that voice.

**Clip 25**

**A guy gets his exam result and he gets an F. Now he looks at it sadly at school, in his car, in his house where his dad is going to beat him up with his belt.**

Everyone spat..

"Oh my god!" Pyrrha said.

"That's too much!" Blake said.

**Clip 26**

**Dorothy:What would you do with a brain if you had one?**

**Scarecrow:Why if I had a brain I could(changes face)put a whole bag of jellybeans up my ass.**

They tried to hold the water.

**Clip 27**

**A girl climbs up her furniture (probably to twerk) and falls down.**

No one laughed.

**Clip 28**

**Jake:To start today's adventure, everybody say the pirate password, YO HO HO!**

**Random guy:Your mom's a hoe!**

**Deez nuts guy:HA!**

Everyone spat and laughed.

"That was so unexpected!" Yang said.

**Clip 29**

**Woman:Hello? Hello?**

**Guy in the phone:How do you get your pussy taste like a banana pudding?(woman hangs up)**

They almost spar.

**Clip 30**

**Door opens**

**Guy:Yeah hi, I think there's a Charizard in your kitchen somewhere or maybe in your kid's room. If I can just-(door closes).**

No one understood.

**Clip 31**

**A kid plays in the playground and falls on his back(GTA V wasted meme)**

No one laughed. They were worried for the kid.

**Clip 32**

**Spongebob:Krusty Krab is unfair, Mr Krabs is in there, standing at the consession!**

**Idubzzz:I have crippling depression.**

Only Nova laughed.

**Clip 33**

**A kid sees a big pig and tries to ride it. The big runs away with the kid on it with Pirates of the Carabean earrape song.**

Ruby and Nora spat and laughed.

**Clip 34**

**The magic bus intro with the bus falling of a cliff.**

No one laughed but they were shocked.

**Clip 35**

**Santa Claus:What would you like for Christmas?**

**Kid:A testicle!**

Everyone spitted water.

"Who would want a testicle as a gift?" Yang said.

"A lesbian." Nova said.

**Clip 36**

**A guy falls on a cactus. Then his friends take the spikes of his body while he's screaming.**

They flinched seeing that guy.

**Clip 37**

**A rooster screams like a kid.**

Ruby and Pyrrha spat and laughed.

**Clip 38**

**Pictures of Chicken Little were shown in the beginning then it showed pictures of cooked chicken.**

Ruby, Pyrrha, Yang and Nora spat and laughed.

"NOOOOO!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"That was terrible!" Ruby said.

"Now I want chicken." Nora said and everyone looked at her. "What?".

**Clip 39**

**There were two cats, one was playing piano and the other was rapping.**

They didn't laugh but they moved in the rhythm.

**Clip 40**

**Ash:Pokemon go!**

**Ash threw the poke ball at Peter Parker, but Peter avoided it, caught it with his web, he threw it at a kid at the kid blew up.**

Ruby and Nova spat and laughed.

"What happened?" Ruby said.

"A kid threw a poke ball at Spiderman, Spiderman caught it and threw it at an other kid." Nova said.

**Clip 41**

**A guy jumped from the roof of his house on a shed on his dick and the sounds were used for a remix.**

They flinched and the boys immediately put their hands on their dicks.

**Clip 42**

**The YMCA video clip but the A was replaced with the biscuit kid screaming.**

No one laughed.

**Clip 43**

**Man:Ask a child if he or she is choking.**

**Man 2:Are you choking? Ate you choking?**

**Kid:YEAH NO SHIT HONEY!**

Everyone spat and laughed.

"Worst advise ever." Yang said.

"Who would ask someone who's choking if he or she is choking? I mean what's the point?" Weiss said.

**Clip 44**

**Two guys were blind folded and they were holding their hands to catch a girl hanging from upstairs. She fell but on the ground.**

Yang spat and laughed.

**Clip 45**

**The Metal Gear Solid 3 ending.**

**Snake:Rest in peace you dumb fuck!**

They tried to hold the water.

**Clip 46**(I don't remember the names)

**Skunk:What do we do for food?**

**Raccoon:That's easy! I know where the food is! Right over that hedge.(next shows a raccoon attacking someone)**

Ruby and Yang spat and laughed.

"That happened to us!" Ruby said.

"Really?" Jaune said.

"Yeah!" Yang said.

**Clip 47**

**The magic school bus intro but the bus hits other cars.**

Everyone spat out of shock.

"Why is this in a try not to laugh challenge?! It's not funny!" Weiss said.

**Clip 48**

**Pilot:Would you both like to come and see how I fly the plane?**

**Caillou:Yes!(changes to GTA V where a plane falls and explodes)**

The ones who play videogames spat and laughed.

**Clip 49**

**A fat guy on a bike drives away from some dogs but falls down(Mario kart starman music and colors)**

No one got that.

**Clip 50**

**Santa:What would you like for Christmas?**

**Kid:A bunch of hookers and cocaine.**

The immature ones laughed.

"Every man's wish." Yang said.

"I have only cocaine." Nova said and everyone spitted and looked at him. "What?"

"You have cocaine?" Blake said.

"Yeah, I think I have told you that I am a god , and gods can't have health issues."

"How it is to be high?" Nora said.

"Nora, don't tell me you want to take drugs." Ren said.

"Of course not! I just want to know how it is.",

"Well it's awesome in the beggining but in the end it sucks." Nova said.

"That wasn't very helpful. We already knew that." Yang said.

"I always forget what it's like."

"Can we continue the challenge?" Ruby said.

"Yeah sure."

**Clip 51**

**Mavis:Stop at that playground! Look at these cute kids!(shows kids humping stuff).**

Everyone spat and started laughing.

"What was that?" Ruby said.

"The proof that the evolution of humanity goes backwards." Nova said.

**Clip 52**

**Woman:Two shots of vodka(fills more and a dog faints).**

Yang spat and laughed.

"Cmon, this challenge is really hard!" she said.

**Clip 53**

**Arthur: D.W. please move your big enormous large gopher looking head.**

**D.W.:(Kardasian voice)If you know how I feel why would you say that?**

The girls spat and laughed.

"Who's voice was that?" Blake said.

"Kim Kardasian's. Why?" Nova said.

"We have a celebrity that talks and acts like that!" Weiss said.

"Is she a THOT?"

"Total THOT!" Yang said.

"I met Kim once. She was such a bitch."

"Really?" Blake said.

"Yeah, but she was good on the bed." When everyone heard that they filled their mouths with water and spitted."I was wearing protection!" Everyone got relieved.

**Clip 54**

**Michael Jordan:I'm Michael Jordan.(two guys, one standing with his arms and the other takes a vacuum and hits him in the dick) Stop it, get some help.**

Weiss, Blake and Pyrrha spat and laughed.

"That was the best one! After the animal ones." Weiss said.

**Clip 55**

**Hitler and Jews meme.**

Everyone was shocked.

**Clip 56**

**Alyssa Milano:What would you do if there was a child right in front of you?(show a girl on a toy car going over a boy)**

Everyone spat out of shock.

"NOOO THE KID!" Pyrrha said.

**Clip 57**

**Scary maze video but the jumps care is Jacob Sartorius.**

Everyone spat out of shock and laughed.

"He punched a hole on the screen!" Ruby said while laughing.

"Who was that?" Jayne said.

"Jacob Sartorius, young singer, everyone hated him, now they don't give a shit." Nova said.

**Clip 58**

**All I want for Christmas but the you is replaced with a drunk guy wearing a dress and banging his head on a stove eye.**

They tried to hold the water.

**Clip 59**

**Narrator:Your dream causes an erection. This is what the sperm is waiting for, a shootout. (machine sprays white stuff on a kid).**

Everyone spat out of shock and only Nova laughed.

"That's the best video to learn about sex." he said.

**Clip 60**

**Seal hopping on a horse. Then seal screams and horse screams.**

No one understood.

**Clip 61**

**Trump:(loud)Look at that African American over there!(wakes up kid)Look at him!**

They covered their ears because it was too loud, especially Blake.

**Clip 62**

**Magic school bus intro but changes to GTA V and bus lands on some NPCS.**

They tried to hold the water.

**Clip 63**

**Singer:I want to be ninja! Downtown in Chinatown!(Chinese woman triggered)**

The Asians spat water.

"That was really racist." Yang said.

**Clip 64**

**Girl:These are giraffes.(John Cena appears)This is the big sister, mommy-**

**John Cena:Are you sure about that?**

Everyone spat and laughed.

"This is wrong!" Ruby said.

**Clip 65**

**Scene with the girl that does things with her fingers and makes a girl swallow a paper.**

Ruby and Pyrrha spat and laughed.

**Clip 66**

**Woman on a wheelchair goes down on moving stairs and a man also on a wheelchair falls down on the stairs.**

Everyone got shocked.

**Clip 67**

**A boy and a girl dance, girl kisses the boy and runs away, boy is sad(MLG meme)**

The immature ones spat and laughed.

"OHHHHHHHHHH!" Yang and Nora said.

"Poor boy. He got rejected." Pyrrha said.

**Clip 68**

**Boy does a dunk, gets excited, hoop falls on his head and it turns into a seven nation army remix.**

No one laughed. The challenge ended and they swallowed.

"The remix part ruined it." Yang said.

"The floor is wet now." Weiss said. Nova snaps his fingers.

"Now it's not." he said. The floor is not wet. "What do you want to see know?"

"I don't know. Surprise us." Yang said.

"OK."

**And done. Next chapter is a surprise. When I finished this chapter I remembered that the word is spat, not spitted. Like, follow and review. See you soon.**


	14. A night in the city

**I'M BACK BITCHES! I'm sorry for not updating. I was studying for the most important exam of my life. If I wrote at least over 11.000 points, I could go to a good university. Anyway, let's just jump into it guys. I do not own anything except my OC. ****WARNING:**** Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 13: A night at the city**

Nova was searching on youtube. "Now let's see, what should I pick?" he said.

"You know, why are we wasting our time watching videos? Why don't we go outside?" Weiss said.

"You know what? You're right! I know you for like two weeks and I've never went to any place on this planet."

"How come?" Jaune said.

"I don't know, maybe because you kids have school work and I didn't want to go alone."

"Well, our scedule is free and we can go to the city." Yang said.

"Great!". Then everyone got up, prepared themselves and left the dorm.

The kids were walking down the street. Nova was sightseeing. After showing him the best places in the city of Vale, they decided to stop at a cafe. Everyone sat down on a table and started to talk.

"And that's how it went." Ruby said.

"Really? Wow, you kids fought a criminal mastermind and some terrorists? That's pretty cool! And that Torchwick guy sounds like a classy criminal." Nova said.

"More like old-fashioned." Yang said and everyone laughed.

"Wow, that's the first time I hear you say something funny." Ruby said.

"Hey, I am funny! I say funny stuff all the time!"

"If you're talking about your not funny puns, then no." Weiss said.

"You guys are mean."

"And what happened to that girl with the swords on her back?" Nova asked.

"We don't know what happened. She probably left." Blake said.

"Why didn't you called us to help you?" Jaune said.

"Yeah, we would love to help you." Pyrrha said.

"Yeah, I would love to break that guy's face!" Nora said.

"Sorry guys. Next time you can come and help us." Ruby said.

"And about that monkey boy, what did you say his name was?"

"Sun." Blake said.

"Sun? Like, Sun Wukong?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Does he also has a power pole that can extend to extreme heights?"

"No, I think it can split in two nunchuck pistols."

"His weapon is really cool!" Ruby said.

"And very original... I think." Nova said.

"Where are you going with this?" Weiss said.

"Here, check this out.". Then he snapped his fingers and a book appeared on the table, written in Mandarin.

"What is that?" Jaune said.

"This is a 16th century chinese novel named _Journey To The West._"

"Chinese?" Ren said.

"Yeah. Hey Yang, do you know Mandarin?"

"Mandarin, like the fruit?" she said.

"Yeah, my bad. Stupid question, blond answer.". With that everyone laughed except Yang, of course

"HEY!" . She then punched him in the arm.

"See? That was funny! Anyway, the deal is that the hero of the story is the Monkey King, also known as Son Wukong.". Everyone was surprised with that.

"Wait, really?" Blake said.

"Yes, and now that I'm looking at you kids, you do remind me of fairy tale characters. You Ruby look like Red Riding Hood, you Weiss like Snow White, you Blake I don't know but I will find out and you Yang like either Goldielocks or Rapunzel, because of your blond hair."

"Maybe it's a coincidence." Jaune said.

"That is a possibility.". Then a cute waitress with pink hair and fox ears came with everyone's drinks.

"Here you go. Sorry for the waiting." she said.

"Don't worry. I saw your cute face and ears and I forgot about it." Nova said.

"Thank you. That was so sweet, that it makes me want to throw up." she said and left.

"Isn't she adorable?"

"Yeah, she's all sunshine." Yang said sarcastically.

"It's just, everytime I see something cute, I can't control myself. Did you see her pink fox ears?"

"You are the first person I know with some much love for faunus." Blake said.

"Yeah, it makes me wish I was a faunus."

"You do?"

"Yeah. Imagine me with wolf ears! I would look so cool! But enough about my weird likes. I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?" Ruby said.

"You kids go to that huntsman school to protect people from those dark monsters, right."

"Yes, what about it?" Weiss said.

"Let's say that all the monsters are dead, there are no more. What would happen then?"

"What do you mean? The world would be peaceful! Why are you asking something that stupid?"

"Yeah I know, the world would safer and all that, but what would happen to you?"

"We would...we would..." Ruby was going to say something but she started to think about it, along with the others, what would happen. They spent most of their lifes, training to fight the Grimm and protect the world. If all the Grimm were killed, they wouldn't have a life goal anymore.

"Wow. I never thought what would happen then." Pyrrha said.

"I'll tell you what would happen. You would return to your homes, go to a normal school and graduate, so you can get a job, because without proper education, you would end up as mercenaries.". Nova was right. That is exactly how it would go.

"Actually, if that happened, I would work at my family's company." Weiss said.

"And I am a celebrity, so taking care of my life wouldn't be difficult." Pyrrha said.

"That's unfair! At least you have a home to return to!" Nora said and covered her mouth when she realised what she said. Ren got depressed while the rest of them were looking at them with their eyes wide open and Nova spat his cappuccino because of that shocking reveal.

"What?" Nova said. "Wait so you are-"

"Orphans? Yes. A very strong Grimm invaded the village where me and Nora were living and killed everyone, even my parents. Nora was already an orphan then, so her situation was worse." Ren said. Nora hugged while he was talking. Everyone felt really sad. Nova was about to cry.

"How did you manage to survive?" Jaune said.

"We hid under a building and remained silent. Luckily I unlocked my semblance and the Grimm couldn't locate us. Since then we were taking care of ourselves."

"Can we please change the subject? I can't stand sad stories! Everyone's backstories has a dark part in them!" Nova said with a crying voice.

"Wait, everyone's? How do you know our backstories?" Weiss said.

"I read your minds. I mean, how do you think I know your names?" he said, calming down. There was then an awkward silence.

"Oh, that's right. We never introduced ourselves. Why didn't we?" Ruby said.

"Can we change the subject now?" Yang said and everyone agreed.

"Ok. Oh, I remembered another question! If you-" Nova was about to finish his question when all of a sudden three people with black clothes, ski masks, guns and bags with a lot of money barged in.

"THIS IS A ROBBERY! EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR WITH THEIR POSSESIONS NEXT TO YOU, NOW!" one of them said. Everyone did what he said, except for Nova and the gang. The second of them went to the cash register."YOU, GIVE ALL THE MONEY AND AN ESPRESSO NOW!" he said and the cashier did he said. The third one was keeping an eye on the rest of them. "DON'T YOU DARE MOVE!" he said. The first one saw the gang standing. "HEY, I SAID ON THE FLOOR!"

"And what if we won't get on the floor?" Yang said.

"Don't do anything! I got it." Nova said and walked in front of the robber.

"DON'T COME CLOSER OR I'LL SHOOT-" before he finish his sentence, Nova grabbed him by his throat and raise him.

"Excuse me, but I was having a conversation with my friends, until you assholes came here! Surrender now and the police won't find you with a broken spine!" he said. His friends started to worry. They didn't think Nova would do such thing. Would he?

"Nova...? You wouldn't do that, would you?" Jaune said.

"Relax, they won't do anything.". He then turned to the robber. "Will you?" The other two robbers surrounded Nova and aimed their weapons at him. The others prepared to fight but Nova said "Don't worry about me, but about them." The robber, Nova was holding, was scared, as he stared him at his rainbow eyes. They weren't just rainbow, they had a rainbow fire.

"Lower your weapons!" the robber said to the other two. "Ok, we surrender! Please let me go!"

"Smart choice.". He then disappeared and reappeared behind them and karate chopped them, leaving them unconcious. He then snapped his fingers to make a rope appear and tied together and he left them outside the cafe, for the police to pick them up. He then went inside. A big silence followed. "Well? No applause?". A random person started clapping and then everyone started to clap. Then the police arrived, took the robbers and everything went back to normal.

"That was awesome! How did you do that!" Ruby said.

"I did the glowing eyes trick." Nova said.

"It's not a big deal. I can do it too. Look!" Yang said and turned her eyes red.

"Yeah, but which are more scary, the red eyes or the ones with the rainbow fire?" he said as he got closer to them.

"Wow... you're eyes are beautiful!" Blake said.

"I know. Now back to our conversation. If you weren't huntsmen, what would your job be? I'm not asking you Weiss and Pyrrha because your future is bright."

"Well.. I imagine myself as a teacher." Ruby said and everyone except Nova stared at her. "Why are you staring at me? Just because I don't pay attention to class sometimes, that doesn't that I don't like teaching! I would love to teach little kids!"

"That's so sweet!" Pyrrha said.

"Alright, what about you Blake?"

"Well, I love literature, so I can imagine myself as a book writer." she said.

"Really? With your ninja skills, I can imagine you being a secret spy...or a prostitute." he said, murmuring that last one. After that, a loud laughter was heard in the backround. "What was that?"

"The waitress, because she heard what you said, and me too. Why would I become a prostitute?!"

"I don't know, maybe for self-punishment...or as a cover to hide your spy life, maybe..."

"Why would Blake want to punish herself?" Jaune said.

"Bad decisions, regrets, mistakes of the past, those are some reasons."

"Blake would never do such big mistakes, besides...you know what." Ruby said it like that because there was people around.

"Yeah, of course. Blake did you do something in the past that you regret?"

"You already know, why don't you say it?"

"Because it's your secret, not mine."

She took a big breath and started to talk. "Well...I don't want to get into details but...I said some bad things to my parents before I leave with 'you know what', and I regret any word I said that day.". Her eyes were filled with tears and Nova realised his mistake.(Nova is the only god that does mistakes)

"Blake, I... I'm sorry for-"

"No, it's okay. I need it to get it out of my system."

"Don't worry Blake, we're here for you." Ruby said and she and her teammates hugged Blake. And a squeak was also heard. But this time they laughed.

"You were right. Squeaky sounds brighten things up." Yang said.

"I know. What about you?" Nova said.

"Well, I want a job that involves action."

"Ah, like a police officer or a bounty hunter or a famous martial artist...or a prostitute." he said, murmuring the prostitute part again but the waitress heard that and laughed again. "SHUT UP!"

"You said prostitute, didn't you?" she said, her eyes totally red.

"Hey, it also has action. That was funny."

"NO IT'S NOT!"

"What about you Jaune?"

"Honestly, I don't know." Jaune said.

"Maybe with a job you would hate. Everyone who says that is either with a job they hate, or an internet celebrity, like the Paul brothers, Lele Pons, Liza Koshie, Lil Tay, Bhad Bhabie, Ricegum, you know, a total failure(OH SNAP)." Nova said. "Or someone really successful. It's uncertain. What about you Nora?"

"An anger management teacher." she said. Everyone was staring at her. "What?"

"I think your session would go like this. Hmm hmm._ Hello everyone and welcome to the anger management lessons. Here, I'll teach you how to EXPRESS YOUR ANGER THE RIGHT WAY! DID SOMEONE LIED TO YOU, MAKE FUN OF YOU, STEAL FROM YOU, SEND YOU TO PRISON, HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE? HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO! DESTROY HIS FUCKING LIFE, BREAK HIS FUCKING FACE, BURN HIS HOUSE, CHOP HIS DICK OFF, DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT, UNTIL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT OF HIM. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!_ And then you destroy everything and send them at hospital." Nova said and made the best impression. Everyone was laughing non stop.

"Wow, how did you know?" Nora said while laughing.

"Oh man!" Yang said, taking a breath. "That was hilarious!"

"See, that's funny! What about you Ren?"

"I don't know, I haven't thought about it." he said.

"I can see you becoming a karate movie star, a chef, a martial artist or even a yoga teacher. I can see it in your face."

""How can you see someone's future from his face?" Weiss said.

"I can, it's one of my infinite talents.". Then Nova's phone made a sound. "Oh, it's getting late."

"Yeah, I think we should get going." Pyrrha said.

"Excuse me, fox waitress, the bill please!"

"You don't have to pay. It's on the house. As a thank you for stopping those robbers." the waitress said.

"You hear that Weiss? You don't have to pay for all of us." Yang said and then they left. In the way, Ruby wanted to ask Nova something.

"Hey Nova?"

"What is it?"

"When we had that talk about all the Grimm being dead, I wanted to ask you... since your a god, you can kill all of them with ease, right?"

"Of course. Why, you want me to do it?"

"No."

"Okay, because whether you said yes or no, I still wouldn't do it."

"WHAT?! WHY?!" everyone yelled.

"Because I'm a god, it's not my job to interfere with your mortal problems. And also why should I do it, when you can? But I will tell you this. My father created life, and it would be a shame if someone or something destroyed it. I want to protect life, and I'll do whatever it takes.". He then placed his index and middle finger on his forehead to teleport back to his planet. "Oh, and the next time we go out, we'll go to New York. Bye." And with that he disappeared.

**And done. Expect more of these chapters along with the reactions and how Nova will fit into the lore. I also did some edits to the previous chapters. Also it's been some time since I watched the show and I don't remember some details. See you soon.**


	15. DBZA EP3& Deleted scene

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 14: DBZA EP3 & Deleted scene**

It's been a week. Nova was sitting in his couch, playing Super Smash Bros Ultimate. When the game ended, he decided to visit team RWBY again. And by visit, it means appear out of nowhere. And so he did. The girls were doing whatever they were doing (I won't go into details). Suddenly Nova appeared.

"Hello girls!" Nova said, surprising them.

"Will you stop appearing like that?" Weiss said.

"No. Anyways, I'm bored, let's watch something."

"Okay." Ruby said.

"Sure." Yang said.

"Whatever." Blake said.

"Here we go again." Weiss said.

"Let's call the others!" Ruby said.

Everyone got ready and Nova started the video.

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(Scene opens up with Krillin, Master Roshi, and Bulma lamenting over the loss of Goku.)**

**MASTER ROSHI: Well, Goku has passed. But his sacrifice has stopped a great evil. (Krillin picks up Gohan's hat) Thanks to him, our lives can return to peace once more.**

**NAPPA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Raaditz? Raaaaaditz?**

"They listened to the whole fight!" Ruby said.

"Thank you Captain Obvious for telling us this crucial information." Nova said.

"You're a meanie."

**(Krillin and Bulma look at Raditz's scouter.)**

**MASTER ROSHI: What the hell is that?**

**NAPPA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Guy-who's-as-strong-as-a-Saibaman says "What?"...That usually gets to him; I think he's dead, Vegeta.**

"I don't know what a Saibaman is, but it sounds like it's very weak." Yang said.

"For the Saiyans it is." Nova said.

"So that means that Raditz is the weakest of them." Pyrrha said.

"Yes."

**VEGETA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Big shocker! Nobody cares! We're ten times stronger than him anyway! We'll go to Earth, find the Dragon Balls, and kill everyone! And we'll be there within a year or so—depending on filler, of course.**

"Filler?" Ren said.

"Yeah, to maintain the anime gap with the manga." Nova explained. "Unfortunately, most of the fillers in DBZ are boring."

**NAPPA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Anything else we need to go over, Vegeta?**

**VEGETA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Nnnope, that's about it.**

"They're screwed." Yang said.

**MASTER ROSHI: Well, fu—**

Everyone laughef.

**(opening sequence)**

Ruby was humming the theme.

**(Scene shifts to a wasteland where Piccolo is talking to Gohan.)**

**PICCOLO: Alright, you little human... Saiyan... thing. I saw what you did to that Saiyan back there; that kind of power can be useful.**

**GOHAN: Wh-what do you mean?**

**PICCOLO: I'm going to make you my pupil. And then, I'll use YOU for my conquest to take over the world.**

"He's still trying to take over the world?" Weiss said.

"With Goku being dead, it's the perfect chance." Nova said.

"How is he going to do that without a castle?" Ruby said.

"Oh yeah, Piccolo is a hobo." Yang said and laughed with her comment.

**GOHAN: But-but where's my daddy?**

**PICCOLO: Hate to tell you, kid, but your dad's dead! ...Actually I kind of like saying that. Haha! Your dad's dead—(Gohan starts crying) Ah. Damn it. This is why I hang out in wastelands...**

"Piccolo is a jerk!" Ruby said.

**(Scene changes to the front of the Check-In Station.)**

**HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: (through bullhorn) Hello! Welcome to the heavenly Check-In Station! Please no cutting in line! If you are caught cutting in line, you will be sent straight to Hell!**

"That doesn't sound very pleasant." Pyrrha said.

"Trust me, it's not. I went there a couple of times, because my brother invited me to his crazy rave parties." Nova said.

"Your brother?" Blake said.

"Yeah, he's the ruler of Hell. His name is Lucifer."

**(Scene shifts to inside Yemma's office. Kami is seen touching Goku's shoulder while talking in a wheezy voice.)**

**KAMI: And so, we need Goku here to get to King Kai's for his masterful training, Lord Yemma.**

"Why does Kami sound different?" Jaune said.

"He sounds now like a really old man!" Ruby said.

"They dubbed The Dead Zone years later, some people left and new came. That's why he sounds like _I'm old! Where's my medicine? I lost my penis in World War II!_" Nova said, making everyone laugh.

"Please stop, I can't handle it, ha ha!" Yang said.

**KING YEMMA: Give me one good reason I should allow this.**

**KAMI: Because, if you don't, (camera cuts the entrance of Yemma's office showing a group of dead souls along with an attendant) that line's going increase by six billion!**

"Six billion? Earth has so much people?" Ruby said.

"Yeah." Nova said.

**KING YEMMA: Six billion?! I'm supposed to be intimidated by six billion?! Please, I can judge six billion souls faster than you take a piss, old man!**

"BURN!" Nora said.

**KAMI: You know, I am the guardian of Earth. Can I please get a little bit more respect here?**

**KING YEMMA: Big deal! I'm the closest thing to a God in this show—until you get to the Kais—then, I'll be horribly insignificant. I do have a desk though! It's made of mahogany! Ma-ho-gany.**

"Oak wood is better." Weiss said.

**KAMI: Uhhhh anyway, can we please—**

**KING YEMMA: SILENCE!**

**(both Goku and Kami are surprised and keeps quiet)**

**KING YEMMA: (whispering) Mahogany.**

"Mahogany." Nora repeated.

**KAMI: Umm... Sir?**

**KING YEMMA: Wh-what? Oh-uh sure, whatever. He can go to King Kai's, but he'll have to run on (in an echoing voice) SNAAAAKE WAAAAY! (sound clip from "Gustav Holst's Mars: the Bringer of War" plays)**

**GOKU: Sounds fun!**

**KING YEMMA: Prepare to be surprised.**

This got a few laughs.

**GOKU: (nods) Alright, I'm off! (begins to leave but stops) Oh wait. By the way, did you see a guy named Raditz come through here? (King Yemma begins flipping pages from a book) He has spiky hair and a tail?**

**KING YEMMA: Oh yeah, I remember that guy. I put him in my patented Yammalock!**

**GOKU: And it worked?**

**KING YEMMA: F**K NO! He kicked me in the balls and ran away! Now I don't know where he is!**

Everyone laughed.

"Best move ever!" Yang said.

**(Scene cuts away to Raditz with a halo.)**

**RADITZ: He didn't keep his eye on the birdie!**

**(Scene cuts back to Goku.)**

**GOKU: Huh, okay. Well bye! (leaves Yemma's office)**

**KING YEMMA: See ya next time you die!**

"What?! You don't say things like these!" Weiss said.

**(Kami glares at King Yemma)**

**KING YEMMA: (in a soft voice) ...Mahogany.**

"The mahogany joke got annoying now." Yang said.

**(Scene change to Kame House.)**

**MASTER ROSHI: So Krillin, how did Chi-Chi take the news?**

**KRILLIN: Um...**

**(flashback to Krillin's conversation with Chi-Chi and the Ox King)**

**CHI-CHI: Well Krillin. What did you need to talk about?**

**KRILLIN: So, Chi-Chi. Hypothetically: what would you do if you were told that your husband was dead; and your son were kidnapped by his worst enemy?**

**CHI-CHI: I'd castrate the messenger in his sleep with a rusty carving knife!**

Everyone was shocked and terrified.

"What did Goku find in her?!" Pyrrha said.

"Nothing. When they were kids, Chi-chi said to him to marry her and he said yes." Nova said.

"Aww, that's so sweet!"

"Of course Goku thought that marriage was food."

"Moment ruined." Yang said.

**KRILLIN: Oh. ...Then it's a good thing I'm not telling you that!**

**(both Krillin and Chi-Chi laugh)**

**CHI-CHI: Would you like to spend the night?**

"Please don't accept." Ruby said.

**KRILLIN: Aaagainst my better judgment.**

**(Scene changes to an outside view of Goku's house at nighttime. Camera cuts to a bedroom with the Ox King is snoring loudly while Krillin tries to sneaks out of the house, but shrieks as he hears a sound of someone sharpening a knife.)**

**CHI-CHI: Kriiillin, where are yoooouuuu? **

"Oh no." Jaune said.

"Run Krillin!" Ruby said.

**(Scene changes to a roadway, where Krillin quickly drives his car towards the screen while screaming.)**

Everyone laughed.

"Smart move." Yang said.

**(scene changes back inside Kame House)**

**KRILLIN: Relatively well.**

**BULMA: So, are you going to gather the other Z-Warriors and go train with Kami?**

**KRILLIN: The Who-Warriors?**

**BULMA: (with a scouter on her face) The Z-Warriors: (text on the bottom reads: Where'd that scouter come from?) You, Goku, Tien, Yamcha, Chiaotzu. That's what we always call you guys!**

The scouter part got a few laughes.

**KRILLIN: That's the stupidest thing I've ever—**

**CHI-CHI: (offscreen) KRILLIN! (camera cuts to Chi-Chi angrily driving towards Kame House) Where the hell are you?!**

"Oh my god! She followed him!" Pyrrha said.

**KRILLIN: (quickly) Well, I'm off to gather the Z-Warriors! Bye!**

**(Scene changes to another roadway with, where Krillin quickly drives his car away from the screen while screaming.)**

Everyone laughed.

"Poor Krillin."

**(Scene changes to wastelands, where Piccolo is talking to Gohan.)**

**PICCOLO: Listen up, runt! Today we're going to commence your intense training under me!**

**GOHAN: But wait, wouldn't that cause horrible muscle degeneration for somebody my age? Crippling me for years to come?**

"Gohan is very smart for his age." Blake said.

**PICCOLO: ...You're a wordy little bastard, aren't you?**

**GOHAN: My mom wants me to become an ortho—**

**PICCOLO: NEEEEERD!**

Everyone laughed.

"I can't believe he said that!" Ruby said, while laughing. "That's so mean!"

**GOHAN: Wh-what?**

**PICCOLO: Anyway, I've figured to unleash your hidden potential, I'd have to put you in immense physical danger. So I'm gonna through you at that mountain.**

"He's gonna die!" Pyrrha said.

**GOHAN: Actually, that looks more like a pla—(Piccolo throws Gohan)TEAAAAAAA—**

They couldn't hold their laughter.

**PICCOLO: (thinking to himself) Any second now.**

**GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—**

**PICCOLO: (thinking to himself) Here it comes.**

**GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—**

**PICCOLO: (thinking to himself) And—**

**GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—**

**(a splattering sound is heard with Gohan crying offscreen)**

Everyone flinched with the splat.

"Is Gohan dead?" Ruby said.

**PICCOLO: Uugh.**

**(Piccolo begins walking towards a crying Gohan.)**

**PICCOLO: (thinking to himself) This is gonna be a loooooooong training session.**

"Gohan's life sucks." Nora said.

"And he's only four!" Weiss said.

**(Scene change to the entrance to Snake Way.)**

**HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: Alright, Mr. Muscle Man. Here you are at Snake Way. Now you might want to pack a lunch, 'cause it's going to be a long run. Nah, I'm just joking; you're not going to be eating nothing.**

Ruby giggled with his voice.

"How long is this road?" Jaune said.

"It's about 100 kilometres." Nova said.

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

"About 625000 miles. It took 177 days for Goku to reach the end." This info shocked everyone.

"Goku is amazing!" Blake said.

**GOKU: (noticing how long Snake Way is) Wow! That looks like it's going to take me a while.**

**HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: Now be careful running—you don't want to fall off and die. That's just a little bit of dead humor. But seriously, do not fall off or you will go to Hell.**

**GOKU: Has anyone ever run the whole thing before?**

**HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: Well, there was one man.**

**GOKU: Well, who was he?**

**HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: (writing something in a book) I believe his name was—**

**(Scene change to Kami's lookout.)**

**KAMI: Mr. Popo!**

**MR. POPO: Yes, Kami?**

Everyone got scared with Mr. Popo.(oh dear)

"That's how he looks like? That's terrifying!" Weiss said.

"That was very racist." Nova said. "Shame on you."

"But... but he...oh forget it!"

**KAMI: I just received word that we have a new batch of trainees coming! Make sure you take good care of them!**

**(Mr. Popo starts laughing evilly while the camera begins to zoom in to his face, with music from a horror film playing by the time the camera focuses on his eyes. The camera begins to slowly fade into black.)**

If they weren't scared before, they were now. They literally backed off.

"Those eyes are gonna haunt me forever." Jaune said.

**(ending sequence)**

**[STINGER]**

**KING YEMMA: And not just any mahogany, (shows a planet named Malchior 7) but mahogany from the planet, Malchior 7! (shows a tree, which suddenly breathes fire) Where the trees are three-hundred feet tall and breathe fire!**

"Again with this? Come on!" Weiss said.

**(scene shifts back to Yemma's office)**

**KING YEMMA: From these trees, this desk was forged 2,000 years ago! Using ancient blood-rituals of the Malchior people! (shows a group of Malchior people all with the heads of Lanipator grunting)**

"Eww, they look gross!" Yang said.

"Who's face was that?" Ren said.

"Lanipator's. Voice of Piccolo and Vegeta." Nova said.

**(scene shifts back to Yemma's office)**

**KING YEMMA: Not only does this make my desk nigh indestructible, but it can bend the fabric of the universe itself! Also, it's a very fine material—very expensive.**

"That's the best desk!" Nora said.

**KAMI: Ooookay?**

**KING YEMMA: (quickly) Mahogany.**

"Okay, now that it's over, there's also a deleted scene." Nova said.

"Does it have Mr. Popo?" Ruby said.

"No."

"Then show it."

"Ok.". Then Nova started the clip.

**The scene starts with Gohan crying.**

**PICCOLO: Oh stop-stop crying. Ughh. What would my dad say in this situation? (He then remembers his dad, demon king Piccolo getting impaled by kid Goku.)**

Everyone laughed.

**PICCOLO: Oh yeah, that's right.(cries) DAA-A-A-A-A-ADY-Y-Y-Y!(they're both crying now).**

They laughed even louder.

"Poor Piccolo." Pyrrha said.

"Ok, what should I put now?" Nova said.

"How about a story time video?" Ruby said.

"Good idea! I know the perfect one."

"Is it funny?" Nora said.

"It's fucking hilarious."

**And done. Next is Pelo talks-the ice cream. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	16. Pelo talks- the ice cream

**I do not own anything except my OC. ****WARNING: ****Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 15: ****Pelo talks-The ice cream**

Nova started the video.

**Here where I live, there is a place we are going to call it Dairy King, and they sell ice creams. I always bought big size covered ice cream...well no big, because there is no big size ice cream.**

"I'm confused. He buys big size ice cream but there is no big size?" Nora said.

"He probably asks for an extra ball." Pyrrha said.

**Instead a medium size covered ice cream...with an extra ball, so it can be a big size covered ice cream.**

"See?" Pyrrha said.

**BUT ONE DAY, I was greeted by a guy, and next to him...it was the manager. AA FAAAAAT GIRL.**

"This is where it gets funny." Yang said.

**I am not saying I am skinny, fucking starving...BUT SHE WAS A DAAAMN DAAAMN FAAAAT GIRL! But with a good face... For-for hiding THE DAAAAAMN FAAAAA-!**

They weren't ready for the screaming. But they got surprised and laughed.

"I forgot that he screams!" Ruby said.

**I asked for an ice cream, and she gave it to me, but she didn't put chocolate...in the last ball...**

"But he bought a covered ice cream! Why not the last ball?"

"Probably to save money." Weiss said.

**And I was like:**

**Pelo: And this? Why you didn't put chocolate here?**

**Manager: Because it's not like that.**

**Pelo: And why is it not like that?**

**Manager: Because we don't gift chocolate.**

"How much money would they lose?" Jaune said.

**I was looking at her and I said:**

**Pelo: Don't serve me again, you fucking fatass!**

**And I went the fuck out.**

"Did he actually said that?" Ruby said.

"Maybe not. But I'm sure he wanted to." Nova said.

**So I was talking with my brothers and I said:**

**Pelo: Hey, this fucker served me bad!**

"He could just make a complaint to the owner." Weiss said.

**Brother: OOOOOH, it could be a rule.**

**Pelo: NOOOO! WHAT RULE?! THEY DIDN'T SERVE ME LIKE THAT BEFORE! NOW LOOK AT THIS! WHAT IS THIS? THIS IS NOT AN ICE CREAM! WHAAT IS THIII-?!**

They couldn't hold their laughter.

"So much for an ice cream!"

"Why is he still complaining?" Blake said.

**But in the other Dairy King, there is a good service. So I asked them and they said:**

**Other manager: Oooh, it's her problem.**

**Then I went to the house and I told to my brothers:**

**Pelo: Hey, there is a good service in the other one.**

**And suddenly my big brother appears and said:**

**Big brother: STOP COMPLAINIMG ABOUT THAT FUCKING ICE CREAM! STOP YOUR BULLSHIT!**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"He's right! He makes it a big issue!" Pyrrha said.

**And I said:**

**Pelo: NO MY ICE CREAM![ice cream pain] NOOOOOOO-!**

"I think my ears are bleeding." Blake said.

**The other day arrived... I went to the same store, I was greeted by a girl.**

"If the service is bad, why go back there? It doesn't make sense!" Jaune said.

**And the fuckin damn fatass wasn't there.**

"So they have a better service now." Pyrrha said.

**And when they were putting the chocolate, they were whispering to each other and I said:**

**Pelo: What did you say to him?**

**And they stared at me.**

"They got busted." Yang said.

**Pelo: You said what I think you said! Don't cover the last ball!**

**Employee: Well...well yes... We shouldn't cover the last ball.**

**Pelo: BUT WHY?! BUT WHY?! IT'S JUST A FUCKING BALL I AM BUYING THE ICE CREAEAEAEAEAEAEAAEEA-!**

"Stop with the screaming!" Ruby said while laughing.

**And a black guy came...**

"Aaand it got racist." Blake said.

**I think he was the boss...of the manager...of the employees. He was the only one with black clothes...and he was black. Then I said:**

**Pelo: Listen, they are giving me a bad service.**

**Boss: Ok look, if you see right here...here here, it's just 3 balls with chocolate, and you are buying an extra one, so we don't cover that one.**

"But he asks for a covered ice cream! They must cover all of it!" Ruby said.

**And I said:**

**Pelo: But I'm buying a covered ice cream!**

"Exactly!"

**Boss: But it's like that!**

**And I said:**

**Pelo: Aaahh, you fucking black asshole! That's why you're BLACK! You STARVED FUCKING BLACK! YOU FUCKING BLAH!**

Everyone stayed with their moths open, except for Nova because he was laughing his ass off.

"I can't believe he said that!" Pyrrha said.

"There is no way he said that!" Yang said.

**I was in my house and I said:**

**Pelo: Goddamnit, now what am I going to do?**

"How about go to the other place?!" Weiss said.

**And I remembered something...my mom!**

"I am curious how this is going to go." Blake said.

**For some weird reason...if someone needs to argue, and the mom is there...she helps you.**

They laughed with the example they saw.

"If they want to stab you, you tell your mom to stab them." Yang said while laughing.

**So I approached my mom and I told her:**

**Pelo: Hey mommy, their service is bad.**

**Pelo mom: WHAT THE FUCK?! Stop your bullshit, are you complaining for an ice cream?!**

They laughed harder.

"Exactly, stop complaining!" Weiss said.

**And I told her everything, and she decided to go with me, and I was like:**

**Pelo: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!**

The random screams made them laugh.

**That day arrived, we went to the ice cream store and we asked for our ice cream, but when the guy was covering the ice cream, the... THE FUCKER! She was smelling, smelling how she was losing chocolate. So she came out:**

**The fucker: (table smacking) HEY DON'T PUT CHOCOLATEEUEUEUEU! (table smacking)**

"I love the sound effects, that he's smacking his desk!" Ruby said.

**AND I-AND I SAW THAT! I SAW THAT! And I said:**

**Pelo: BULLSHIT!**

**And he gave us the ice cream.**

**Pelo mom: Ehhh...it's not all covered.**

**Employee: Well...they just told me that-.**

**AND THE FAT GIRL APPEARS!(shows three legs)**

"Why three legs?" Nora said.

**Fat: (fat monster talk)**

**Pelo: HEY YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE THIEF! WHY DON'T YOU PUT THE CHOCOLATE IN YOUR A-**

**But my mom, my mom was shouting at me cause she knew I was going to swear.**

**Pelo mom: Shut up, I talk!**

They laughed.

"Look at him! He looks sad." Ruby said while laughing.

**Pelo mom: Hey, I am buying an ice cream with chocolate.**

**Manager: Oh yes, but we put it with every ounce.**

"She literally rips them off!" Yang said.

**Pelo mom: But you are charging us more money.**

**Pelo: YEAH YOU FUCKING THIE-!**

**Pelo mom: SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!**

**Pelo: yes mommy.**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"yes mommy." Yang repeated while laughing.

**AND BECAUSE SHE IS AN ASSHOLE, SHE COVERED THE ICE CREAM BUT ALL WRONG!**

**Manager: They gave you the chocolate like that?**

**Pelo: They GAVE ME the chocolate, you fucking ass face!**

**Manager: My partners are doing it wrong.**

**Pelo: Well thank you so much!**

**Manager: Oh thank you to you!**

**Pelo: GO FUCK YOUR MOTHEUAFNHEUHFAJEH-!**

They couldn't breathe because of laughing.

"Stop! I can't handle it!" Ruby said.

**And we went to the car.**

**Pelo: See? She is an asshole!**

**Pelo mom: A fucking asshole!**

**Pelo: All is putting is fucking asshole!**

**Pelo mom: What? Why are you taking care of the owner's ass?**

**Both:[ultimate anger]**

**THE END**

Finally they calmed down.

"Well, it wasn't like the previous one but it was funny." Ruby said.

"Ok, what's next?" Nova said.

"You choose." Blake said.

"Oh, I know a good one!"

**And done. Next chapter is Hitbox: Mario and the spaghetti ninjas by SMG4. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	17. Hitbox Ep1

**I do not own anything except my OC. ****WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 16:**** Hitbox: Mario and the spaghetti ninjas**

Nova started the video

_**(Glitch Productions and Hitbox intro)**_

**The video starts with Luigi(Kevin) sitting at the table on the floor like an Asian, waiting for Mario(Luke) to bring the spaghetti. Mario comes with only one plate of spaghetti.**

**Mario: Ho ho boi! Oh Imma so ready! For my spaghetti! Oh I can't wait!**

"Where is the green guy's plate?" Ruby said.

"The red one probably ate it on the way." Yang said.

**Luigi: Mario, wh-where is mine?**

**Mario: Oh, I ate it.**

This got a few laughs.

"The fact that he said that so casually it's funny!" Yang said.

**Luigi: What-what do you mean you eat it Mario?! You always do this to me, we are meant to be brothers, we are looking out for each other! How can you do this if my spaghetti is not here? You said you keep it-!(Mario is shushing Luigi)**

"Mario is a bad brother." Jaune said.

**Mario: Luigi, shut up. Look, spaghetti time equals quiet. Peace and quiet. Mario's eating.**

"No one gets between an Italian and his pasta. If you do, they'll turn you into pizza dough and your blood into sauce." Nova said.

"Should I get offended by that?" Blake said.

"I don't know, it's your choice."

**Luigi looks at the camera with an "are you serious" expression.**

**Luigi: Mario, this isn't fair. I don't think... we have-that we're on the right level over here. I don't think-you, you're always doing these things to-.(he looks at the ninjas behind) M-Mario? Mario?! There's a hoard of ninjas coming into the room right now!(the ninjas are sneaking in a funny way, one of the ninjas fell on a trashcan.) Mario. Mario, do you see this?**

They laughed at the ninjas.

"They are terrible!" Ruby said while laughing.

"And Mario doesn't give a damn about them!" Yang said.

**Mario: Luigi? I'm trying to eat! This is my time with my baby. With my wife.**

"What?! Wife?! Are you serious?!" Weiss said.

"This is an SMG4 video. What did you expect?" Nova said.

"What does that mean?" Ruby said.

"That's right, I didn't explain it. Mario is the most popular video game character on Earth. SMG4's version of Mario is a fat retard that loves himself, being naked and he has a spaghetti fetish."

"Oh.". Then she started laughing.

**Luigi: No no! Seriously, Mario!**

**Mario: Luigi.**

**Luigi: Mario, there's-a ninjas in the room!**

**Mario: I said no talking, during spaghetti time! That's the one rule I made.(the ninjas are planning to steal the spaghetti) And so,-.**

**Luigi: I think they want your spaghetti.(one ninja pulls a spoon and a fork)**

"Why would they waste their time and skills for food?" Blake said.

"You kids should stop thinking about it. It's just a sketch. Just enjoy." Nova said.

"I'm hungry now! I want some pizza!" Nora said.

**Luigi: Don't worry, Mario! I-I'll-I'll save-I'll save the spaghetti.**

**Mario:Bye Luigi.**

"He doesn't care!" Weiss said.

**Luigi goes to the ninjas to negotiate.**

**Luigi: Guys , come on. We can clearly work something out her, okay? There's plenty of spaghetti to go around. Please just don't take my spaghetti.(one of the ninjas grabs Luigi by the neck and raises him.) Mario...(he throws him down) Aghh...**

"Alright, time for some action!" Yang said.

**The ninjas surround Luigi and prepare to fight. One ninja tries to stomp Luigi but he avoids it, kicks him down and gets up to fight. Then all the ninjas started to attack Luigi but he dodged them. One ninja went to attack but Luigi evaded and kicked him in the back knocking him down along with another ninja.**

They were surprised by the action. They didn't expect it.

"He's pretty good!" Pyrrha said.

**Another ninja runs to Luigi and fights but he get knocked down. Luigi attacks another ninja behind him, but the ninja grabs him and punches him in the stomach several timesalong with another ninja who kicks him several times. Luigi takes one one his shoulder. The other scream s and Luigi too as the prepare to fight. Luigi uses the one on his shoulder as a shield and the other punches the ninja on the butt. Luigi then throws the ninja down.**

Everyone laughed.

**Luigi gets a stance and fights the ninja. Luigi kicks him several times and knocks him down and gets repeated three times.**

**Luigi: MARIO!(runs away by two ninjas, one of them dabbing and Mario is still eating.)**

**Mario:(enjoys)OHH!**

Everyone laughed.

"That chase looked so funny!" Ruby said while laughing.

"Was that ninja dabbing?" Yang said.

**Luigi: What are you doing? Mario!(fights in the background)**

**The ninja did some flips and took a stance. Luigi just punched him and the ninja fell down. Another ninja comes to fight. Luigi starts kicking him, the ninja evades the kicks. Luigi jumps to attack but the ninja kicks in the stomach. The ninja gets up and takes off Luigi's moustache.**

"Did he just ripped off his moustache?" Jaune said while laughing.

**Luigi: Ungh! My manliness! You son of a koopa!**

Everyone laughed.

"My manliness." Yang repeated.

**Luigi attacks the ninja and kicks him down. Another ninja comes to fight.**

**Luigi: C'mon man, can we please be friends?**

**Ninja: NOO!**

Everyone laughed.

"I like that the ninja answers to him!" Yang said.

**They start fighting. They evade each other's attacks. Luigi gets a couple of hits. The ninja then kicks him. Luigi evades and elbows him to the face. All the ninjas were defeated.**

"That was awesome!" Nora said.

**Mario:(his moustache in the wrong place) Mama-mia, that's a nice-a spaghetti.**

Evryone laughed.

"Didn't he notice the moustache?" Ruby said.

**Luigi:(in pain)Ohhh...my spaghetti noodle...**

**Mario: Hi Luigi.**

"I can't believe Mario! He shouldn't treat his brother like that!" Weiss said.

"Mario is a terrible brother." Ruby said.

**Luigi: Thanks for nothing, brother.(sits down)**

**Mario: Oh. Dude, you should try this out.**

**Luigi: I WOULD LIKE TO TRY IT OUT!**

**Mario: Yeah, yeah. I changed my mind.(a red ninja appears)**

"Yes, more fighting!" Nora said.

"He must be the leader." Jaune said.

**Luigi:(sees the ninja) M-Mario...Y-you know what? Don't worry, I'll handle this...(gets up)**

**Mario: Ok.**

**Luigi takes a stance and the ninja pulls a gun and aims Luigi's face.**

They didn't expect that.

"That's not fair!" Ruby said.

**Luigi: Wha-what? One ninja has a gun! Mario!**

**Red ninja: Give me the spaghetti!**

**Luigi: Oh-oh-ok man. I'm sorry. Just...don't hurt me...Take it easy...Mario!**

**Mario:(moustache on his chin)OHHHHH MAH ASS! This is a good spaghetti!**

Everyone laughed.

**Luigi:(rips off Mario's moustache)Mario. I need this.(mario doesn't want to give it)**

"Of course he wouldn't give it!" Weiss said.

"Doesn't he care about their lives?" Pyrrha said.

"No, this is an SMG4 video." Nova said.

**Mario: No one touches the spaghetti.**

**Luigi: Mario.**

**Mario: Now go away.**

**Luigi: Mario...do you not see the ninja with the gun?(Mario sees the ninja)**

**Mario:Oh! Hey!**

Weiss facepalms with his stupidity.

"That's it, I'm leaving!" Weiss said.

"What? Please don't leave!" Ruby said.

"No, I can't take it anymore! I'll come back when you'll stop watching stupid videos!". She went to her bed and checked her social media.

"Wow. Deja vu." Jaune said.

**Luigi: I'm sorry Mario.**

**Mario: No-no Luigi! LUIGI NO!**

**Luigi: Mario I'm sorry...**

**Mario: NO! My baby! Please! It's my baby!(he doesn't let it go)**

Everyone laughed.

"They fight like kids!" Yang said.

**Red ninja: ENOUGH OF THIS! GIVE ME THE SPAGHETTI!**

**Luigi: Ok. Mario, I gotta take it!**

**Mario: NO!**

**Luigi: Mario give it to me! Now!**

**Mario: NOOOOO!**

**But they throw by accident the spaghetti.**

**Mario:(slow motion) NOOOOO!**

**Luigi:(slow motion) SUGAR HONEY ICE TEA!**

**The spaghetti fall on the ninja and he stays in a funny position and the crew laughs.**

Everyone laughed.

"Best acting ever." Yang said.

**The ninja wipes the spaghetti off him and gets angry.**

**Red ninja: Omae wa mo shindeiru!**

**Ninja boi 4: Hey boys! He did the meme!(everyone go crazy)**

The gang were really confused.

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

"That line is a meme and one of the most badass lines in anime history." Nova said.

"What does it mean?" Blake said.

"It means _you're already dead."_

"That's a cool line. Maybe I should start saying that when people mess with my hair." Yang said.

**Back to the script now, the red ninja is angry. He then screams like he's powering up and all the other ninjas wake up. They all gather up and do a Ginyu Force team pose. The plumbers are surprised.**

Nova is hyped, even though he already watched the video.

"These poses look cool!" Ruby said.

"They're not that good." Yang said.

"Actually they're lame." Blake said.

"You say that because you never saw the Ginyu Force do them." Nova said.

"Ginyu Force?" Jaune said.

"You'll see them in Dragon Ball in later episodes."

"I believe we can do way cooler poses like them." Ruby said.

"No thanks, I don't want to embarass myself!" Weiss said from her bed.

**They get scared and run away.**

**Red ninja: Get em' get em'! Oi! Oi!(they chase after them)**

**Mario:(Luigi gets out)LUIGI WAIT! Stay back!(grabs something) Stay back!(gets out) Thank you.**

**The ninjas leave the building and see Mario on a tire.**

**Mario: Oh hey! Hello guys!**

**Luigi: C'MON MARIO WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?**

**Mario: Stay back I'm a virgin! Pussy cap, fly!(he threw his cap but it didn't do anything)**

They couldn't stop laughing.

**The chase continues. Mario hides behind a big metal pillar but one ninja noticed him. He sees Mario and they look lefft and right like in cartoons.**

**Mario: Oh hey!(punches the ninja and runs)**

This got a few laughs.

**They decide to go to higher ground. They climb a wall but Mario can't because he's fat.**

**Mario: Luigi!**

**Luigi: Come on Mario!**

**The ninjas caught up with them and Luigi kicked them in the face.**

"Why the red ninja doesn't do anything?" Ruby said.

**Luigi:(helps Mario) Come on you can do it Mario! Come on!(the ninjas follow them)**

"See? He's just moving his gun!" she said and started laughing.

**Mario runs like a weeb and sings Silhouette.**

**Luigi: Mario. Why are you running like that?**

**Mario: Because it makes you go faster!**

**Luigi: You look like a weeb!**

Everyone laughed.

"I thought that ninjas run like that." Jaune said.

"Ninjas like Naruto." Nova said.

**Mario: I told you this! Remember when you walk-run like this, the wind goes on your arms, you go faster!**

"Is that true?" Yang said.

"No, that's bullshit. That works only for Sonic." Nova said.

"Who's Sonic?" Ruby said.

"The fastest being alive! Well the second, after the Flash."

"How fast?"

"He can break the sound barrier in seconds."

Everyone was shocked by this info.

"Wow. Now I feel very slow."

"Don't feel like that. At least you're the fastest in your planet. I think.". That made Ruby feel better.

**Luigi: Okay fine!**

**Mario: Yeeah!(they both run like this and Mario continues to sing)**

**Everyone run like this now as the chase continues. Mario trips and falls down but he gets up and runs again.**

Everyone laughed.

**Finally they lost them and returned to the same building.**

**Luigi: Come on Mario! I-I think we lost them! Come on! We're so close! Mario!(Mario was about to throw up his internal organs from all that running.)**

**Mario: Luigi I can't! I'm pregnant with my spaghetti!(tries to throw up and continues)**

Everyone laughed.

"I wonder how the baby would look." Nora said.

**Kevin: What an idiot.**

**Luigi: Mario come on! We're almost home!(drags Mario) Come on Mario!**

**Mario: Oh my pe- my spaghetti noodle!**

**Luigi: I think we're safe.**

"They're not safe yet, right?" Jaune said.

"No, they're not." Nova said.

**Mario: Let's go back to our spaghe-...**

**The ninjas were already inside and the red one was on the table.**

They laughed.

"Why is he sitting like that?" Yang said.

**The red ninja then put his hand in the spaghetti, he takes some and eats them.**

**Red ninja: Mmm... spaghetti.**

**Mario felt like he had a heart attack.**

**Luigi: M-Mario are you okay?**

**Mario... spaghetti!...(cries and sees the red ninja next to him) No.**

**The ninjas make a line and cooperate to do a strong palm thrust to Mario, knocking him out. The ninjas surround Mario and the red one laughs.**

"No, Mario!" Ruby said.

**Luigi: Hey! You guys leave Mario alone!**

**Luigi charges at the ninjas and knocks them all down. He takes tha arm of the red ninja and shoots one and they both fall down. Then they get up, do some flips and take their stances.**

"That is so cool!"

"The final battle starts!" Yang said.

**Luigi takes a different stance. The red ninja drops his gun and takes his stance. They both stared each other's eyes.**

"Fight!" Nora said.

**And the fight started. The ninja attacked first but Luigi evaded the attacks. They blocked each other's attacks. Luigi kicks him and makes him go back. The ninja rushes and kicks Luigi in the face, knocking him down. The ninja starts punching him but Luigi managed to get over him and started punching. He got the ninja's arm and tried to snap it. The ninja tried to escape but Luigi grabbed him by the neck so he won't escape. The ninja started punching Luigi in the head and escaped. He then went to attack but Luigi evaded and went to attack. The ninja caught Luigi's neck with his legs. Luigi got up and dropped him.**

Everyone was excited by the fight and were waiting the result.

**He then tried to snap his arm again but the ninja escaped by tickling Luigi's foot.**

Everyone laughed.

"I can't believe he did that!" Pyrrha said.

**They then started to exchange punches and blocks. They were both landing some hits until theeir fists started to hurt. They got over it and continued the fight. At one point Luigi roundhouse kicked the ninja in the face, replaying it in slow motion. Then Luigi started attacking, without giving any chance to react and threw him down. He finished him by giving him a slap.**

Everyone laughed with that slap.

**Luigi: You don't mess with-a Luigi...Mario! Mario we're saved! The spaghetti is saved! It's...Mario? Mario?**

**Meanwhile, Mario was sleeping.**

"He was sleeping? Seriously?" Blake said.

**Mario:(snoring)Oh spaghetti...oh fettuccine...ohh ass...**

This got a few laughs.

"Look how happy he is!" Pyrrha said.

"He's dreaming ass, why not be happy?" Nova said and everyone laughed.

**Luigi: Mario...Mario, you're safe. I killed all the ninjas for you. Are you okay?**

**Mario: You're not ass...**

Everyone laughed.

**Luigi: No, no, no, let me help you up.**

**Mario: Oh, it's just Luigi...**

**Luigi: Let me help you brother. Are you okay? Everything okay with you brother?**

**Mario: Luigi what took you so long? It took you long enough. Mee working hard sleeping and you're just goofing off. Mama-mia. I'm such a better brother than you.**

**Luigi: I'm sorry brother.**

Everyone was surprised.

"I expected Mario to say that but why is Luigi sorry? Why doesn't he stand up for himself?" Pyrrha said.

"Because Luigi is the younger brother and whatever happens, he's always player 2. That's what happens if you live in your brother's shadow." Nova said. Everyone felt bad for Luigi.

**Luigi: Where did all these ninjas come from anyway?**

**Mario: I don't know Luigi. Maybe they're Nintendo ninjas. Maybe we made Miyamoto really mad. Let's-a loot their bodies!(loots the ninja) WOOHOO! Oh boy, look at this! WOO!(he holds a lot of spaghetti cans.) Look at all this spaghetti Luigi! HOO, it's so much!**

**Luigi: Can I have some? **

**Mario: No.**

**THE END**

"Okay then! What now?" Nova said.

**And done! Finally, it's over. Next chapter will probably be about music. Also I have a couple of thing to talk about. First of all, about the spongebob replacements, I'm not so sure about it now. Also, I thought about doing another reaction story, but with Sonic characters. What do you think? Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	18. Eurovision

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 17****: Eurovision All winners**

"Okay then! What now?" Nova asked.

"How about something that is not stupid?" Weiss said as she got up from her bed.

"How about music?" Jaune suggested.

"Oh, I know the perfect one! Have you ever heard of Eurovision?" Nova said. Everyone was looking at him with a 'what the fuck is he talking about' expression. Nova facepalmed. "I shouldn't ask questions like that. Eurovision is a singing contest. Like your Vytal tournament but instead of fighting, they sing."

"Ohhhhh." everyone said.

"And let's make it interensting. Let's see which of your countries has the most wins."

"This will be interesting." Blake said.

"There will be only European countries, so Ruby, Yang and Ren, you won't participate because you're not Europeans."

"Aww." Ruby said with a sad face.

"Now because there are countries that have the same language, they will be counted too. Except for Switzerland because they speak more than two languages there. Also, since I don't specifically know Nora's country, I will count all the Scandinavian let's begin!"

**(Video: All winners of the Eurovision song contest (1956-2019) by Schlager Lucas)**

**1956: Switzerland with **_**Refrain**_** by Lys Assia**

"That's a very old song!" Weiss said.

"Only 7 countries?" Ren said.

"The number of the participating countries became larger." Nova said.

**1957: The Netherlands with **_**Net als toen **_**by Corry Brokken**

"Those songs are laaaameeeee!" Nora said. "When we will get to the good ones?"

"Just because a song is old, it doesn't mean it's lame!" Weiss said.

"Except if it's that old." Yang said.

"For their time they were good and still are." Nova said.

**1958: France with**_** Dors, mon amour **_** by André Claveau**

"The first win goes to Jaune!" Nova said.

"I got the first win?" Jaune said.

"Already?" Ruby said.

"Go Jaune!" Nora said.

**1959: The Netherlands with**_** Een bettje **_**by Teddy Scholten**

**1960: France with **_**Tom Pillibi **_** by Jacqueline Boyer**

"And another one for Jaune!" Nova said.

"Really?" Jaune said.

"He already has 2 wins and you have none."

**1961: Luxembourg with **_**Nous les amoureux **_**by Jean-Claude Pascal**

"And another one." Nova said.

"What?" Blake said.

"Luxembourg is a French-speaking country, so it counts."

"That's unfair!" Weiss said.

"You also have Austria, you don't have to talk about it! And Switzerland, by it has at least four languages!". Weiss couldn't find anything to talk back.

**1962: France with **_**Un premier amour **_**by Isabelle Aubret**

"Another one?!" Weiss said.

"He already has 4!" Yang said.

"The song was good though." Blake said.

**1963: Denmark with **_**Dansevise **_**by Grethe & Jørgen Ingmann.**

**1964: Italy with **_**Non ho l'età **_**by Gigliola Cinquetti**

"This one goes to Blake!" Nova said.

"Yay, go Blake!" Ruby said.

"At least it broke the row." Weiss said.

**1965: Luxembourg with **_**Poupée de cire, poupée de son **_**by France Gall**

"And another one for Jaune." Nova said.

"Wow Jaune, you already have 5 wins!" Pyrrha said.

"Oh come on, I'm pretty sure you will get some wins too." Jaune said.

**1966: Austria with **_**Merci, Chérie **_**by Udo Jürgens**

"One win for Weiss!" Nova said.

"It was about time!" Weiss said.

**1967: United Kingdom with **_**Puppet on a string **_**by Sandie Shaw**

"Finally, a song that we can understand!" Yang said.

**1968: Spain with **_**La, la, la **_**by Massiel**

"It has color now!" Nora said.

**1969: Spain with **_**Vivo cantando **_**by Salomé**

**1969: United Kingdom with **_**Boom Bang-a-Bang **_**by Lulu**

"Is the video edited good? Because it still says 1969." Ruby said.

"Ha! 69." Nova said.

"That wasn't funny." Yang said.

"That year it was a tie."

**1969: The Netherlands with **_**De troubadour **_**by Lenny Kuhr**

**1969: France with **_**Un jour, un enfant **_**by Frida Boccara**

"Oh come on!" Weiss said.

"Why are you so angry?" Nova said.

"Because she's losing." Yang said.

**1970: Ireland with **_**All kinds of Everything **_**by Dana**

**1971: Monaco with **_**Un banc, un arbre, une rue **_**by Séverine**

"Another one for Jaune." Nova said.

"Monaco too?" Blake said.

"I have 7 wins! I never expected that!" Jaune said.

"The 60's was full of French hits."

"Why?! Why?!" Weiss said whining.

**1972: Luxembourg with **_**Aprés toi **_**by Vicky Leandros**

"Another one." Nova said.

"Weiss, just accept that you lost." Ruby said.

"We all lost." Blake said.

"There are still 47 years left." Pyrrha said.

**1973: Luxembourg with**_** Tu te reconnaîtras **_**by Anne-Marie David**

"Another one." Nova said like Dj Kaled.

"The songs are getting better." Blake said.

**1974: Sweden with **_**Waterloo **_**by ABBA**

"One point for Nora!" Nova said.

"Really? Awesome!" Nora said.

"And by worldwide celebrities!"

"For real?" Ruby said.

"Yeah."

**1975: The Netherlands with **_**Ding-a-Dong **_**by Teach-In**

"Now they speak English?" Ren said.

"Now they can." Nova said.

"The songs had weird titles." Yang said.

"It was the culture. I also see it as clickbait."

**1976: United Kingdom with **_**Save your Kisses for Me **_**by Brotherhood of Man**

Nova could see that they were enjoying the songs.

"You know, they could have brought the Beatles if they wanted." Nova said.

"Who are the Beatles?" Ruby said.

"The most famous band at the time!"

**1977: France with **_**L'oiseau et l'enfant **_**by Marie Myriam**

"And another one." Nova said. They weren't excited anymore because they knew that they would lose.

**1978: Israel with **_**A-Ba-Ni-Bi **_**by Izhar Cohen & Alphabeta**

**1979: Israel with**_** Hallelujah **_**by Gali Atari & Milk and Honey**

**1980: Ireland with **_**What's Another Year **_**by Johnny Logan**

"Okay, now we go to the 80's." Nova said.

**1981: United Kingdom with**_** Making Your Mind Up **_**by Bucks Fizz.**

"Those songs are really fun!" Ruby said.

**1982: Germany with **_**Ein bißchen Frieden **_**by Nicole**

"One win for Weiss!" Nova said.

"Really? Yes, finally!" Weiss said.

"What's the score now?" Ruby said.

"2, 1, 10, 1, 0." Nova said.

**1983: Luxembourg with **_**Si la vie est cadeau **_**by Corinne Hermès**

"Correction, 11." Nova said.

**1984: Sweden with **_**Diggy-Loo Diggi-Ley **_**by Herreys**

"One win for Nora!" Nova said.

"Yes!" Nora said.

**1985: Norway with **_**La det swinge **_**by Bobbysocks!**

"And another one." Nova said.

"Not again!" Weiss said.

**1986: Belgium with **_**J'aime la vie **_**by Sandra Kim**

"And another one for Jaune." Nova said and everyone groaned. " I think it's his last one."

"Finally, it's not fun when you're so far ahead from the others!" Jaune said.

**1987: Ireland with **_**Hold Me Now **_**by Johnny Logan**

"Hey, didn't we see him again?" Ruby said.

"Yeah, we did." Nova said.

"That's a really good song." Pyrrha said.

**1988: Switzerland with **_**Ne partez pas sans moi **_**by Celine Dion**

"Oh I forgot that she was there!" Nova said.

"Who?" Ruby said.

"That's Celine Dion! She's known worldwide!"

"She's pretty good!" Blake said.

**1989: Yugoslavia with **_**Rock Me **_**by Riva**

"I always wondered, since Yugoslavia was splitted, who has that win now!" Nova said.

**1990: Italy with **_**Insieme: 1992 **_**by Toto Cutugno**

"One win for Blake!" Nova said.

"It's pretty good!" Blake said.

**1991: Sweden with **_** Fångad av en stormvind **_**by Carola**

"Another win for Nora!" Nova said.

"Sweet!" Nora said.

"The songs are getting better and better!" Blake said.

**1992: Ireland with **_**Why Me? **_**by Linda Martin.**

**1993: Ireland with **_**In Your Eyes **_**by Niamh Kavanagh**

**1994: Ireland with **_**Rock 'n' Roll Kids **_**by Paul Harrington & Charlie McGettigan**

"3 times in a row?" Ruby said.

**1995: Norway with **_**Nocturne **_**by Secret Garden**

"Another for Nora!" Nova said.

"She might pass Jaune!" Pyrrha said.

"It has nice visuals." Blake said.

"At the song sounds like it came from a fairytale!" Ruby said.

**1996: Ireland with **_**The Voice **_**by Eimear Quinn**

"That too!" Ruby said.

**1997: United Kingdom with **_**Love Shine a Light **_**by Katrina and the Waves**

**1998: Israel with **_**Diva **_**by Dana International.**

The gang saw Nova moving to the rhythm.

"What? The song is good and I'm kind of a disco and club guy!"

"Well, you're not wrong. The song is really good!" Yang said.

**1999: Sweden with**_** Take Me to Your Heaven **_**by Charlotte Nilsson**

"And another one for Nora." Nova said.

"What's the score now?" Yang said.

"2, 2, 12, 6, 0."

"Pyrrha, I noticed that you don't have any win!" Ruby said.

"Really? I didn't notice that!" Pyrrha said.

**2000: Denmark with **_**Fly on the Wings of Love **_**by Olsen Brothers**

"Look at the crowd! There are so many people!" Ruby said.

**2001: Estonia with **_**Everybody **_**by Tanel Padar, Dave Benton & 2XL**

"To much disco." Yang said.

**2002: Latvia with **_**I Wanna **_**by Marie N**

"Nice perfomance." Weiss said.

"Now we're getting to the very good ones!" Nova said

**2003: Turkey with **_**Everyway That I Can **_**by Sertab Erener**

"Wow!" everyone said.

**2004: Ukraine with **_**Wild Dances**_** by Ruslana**

"That was really good! And the theme of the song too!" Ruby said.

**2005: Greece with **_**My Number One **_**by Elena Paparizou**

"One win for Pyrrha!" Nova said.

"Yay Pyrrha, you finally got one!" Ruby said.

"And with a pretty good one!" Yang said.

"Everyone get ready!" Nova said.

"For what?" Jaune said.

**2006: Finland with **_**Hard Rock Hallelujah **_**by Lordi**

Everyone was surprised.

"YEAAH! One win for Nora!" Nova said.

"For real?" Weiss said.

"Awesome!" Nora said.

"I didn't expect these kinds of songs!" Ruby said.

"Me neither! Also, Nora here's a Viking helmet." Nova said and gave her a Viking helmet. "You're now a true Viking!"

"Sweet!" she said.

**2007: Serbia with **_**Moltiva **_**by Marija Šerifović**

"Is it me or they look even weirder? I mean, before it was fashion, but now they look weird!" Yang said.

"You're not wrong. It is Europe, after all." Nova said.

**2008: Russia with **_**Believe **_**with Dima Bilan**

"Wait, is that guy ice skating?" Ruby said.

"I'm not sure because they weren't on ice." Nova said.

**2009: Norway with **_**Fairytale **_**by Alexander Rybak**

"One win for Nora." Nova said.

"That's a very nice song!" Pyrrha said.

**2010: Germany with **_**Satellite **_**by Lena**

"One win for Weiss." Nova said.

"It was about time!" Weiss said.

"She is pretty good!" Ruby said.

"And her nudes too." Nova said.

"What?!" everyone said.

"Her career got ruined."

**2011: Ajerbaijan with **_**Running Scared **_**by Eli & Nikki**

"Pretty weak." Yang said.

**2012: Sweden with **_**Euphoria **_**by Loreen**

"One win for Nora." Nova said.

"Her dance is weird." Nora said.

"It's called art."

"It's a good song though." Jaune said.

**2013: Denmark with **_**Only Teardrops **_**by Emmelie de Forest**

**2014: Austria with **_**Rise Like a Phoenix **_**by Conchita Wurst**

Everyone was surprised and a little scared so they backed off a little. Nova was one the floor, laughing.

"Oh dad! Every time! Every time! You should have seen your faces!" Nova said while laughing.

"What was that?!" Weiss said.

"One win for you!" Nova said while laughing even more.

"What was he?" Yang said. Nova calmed down and answered.

"I saw that homosexuality is something normal in your world and they don't take things that far but on Earth...is very different. He's a transexual."

"A what?" Ruby said.

"He changed his gender."

"Why would he do that?" Jaune said.

"Because he didn't want to be man anymore, he was too gay."

"Can you rewind it a little? I want to hear the song." Weiss said.

"Sure.". They saw it again.

"It's a pretty good song!" Pyrrha said.

"Even though it was sang by an abomination. He should at least shave his beard!" Yang said.

**2015: Sweden with **_**Heroes **_**by Måns Zemerlöw**

"One win for Nora!" Nova said.

"I like songs that have a message!" Blake said.

"Me too!" Pyrrha said.

"And the visuals!" Ruby said.

"The latest winners always give a message!" Nova said.

**2016: Ukraine with **_**1944 **_**by Jamala**

"That's a weird title." Ruby said.

"It must be a date. What happened then?" Ren said.

"World War II." Nova said and everyone understood.

**2017: Portugal with **_**Amar pelos dois **_**by Salvador Sobral**

Some of them were crying, along with Nova.

"That was really nice!" Pyrrha said while crying.

"It always makes me cry!" Nova said while crying.

"It's really emotional!" Weiss said while crying.

**2018: Israel with **_**Toy **_**by Neta**

They found it really funny and entertaining and danced.

"Now that's a fun song!" Ruby said.

**2019: The Netherlands with **_**Arcade **_**by Duncan Laurence**

"He has a pretty good voice!" Blake said.

"The video is over, now let's see the results. 4, 2, 12, 10, 1. Jaune wins." Nova said.

"Yeah, hooray for Jaune!" Nora said.

"Sorry Pyrrha that you lost." Jaune said.

"It's okay, it was really fun!" Pyrrha said.

"Okay, now how about a try not to challenge?" Nova said.

"What kind of challenge?" Yang said.

"A try not to sing or dance one!". Everyone agreed. "Okay then."

**And done. Next chapter will be a try not to sing or dance challenge anime edition. Also should I do a Sonic version of the story? Answer in the review section. See you soon!**


	19. Try not to sing 1

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes, oversimplicity and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 18:**** Try not to sing or dance anime edition**

Nova was trying to find a good video.

"What's taking you long?" Yang said.

"I'm trying to find a good one! Also I think I made a mistake." Nova said.

"What mistake?" Ruby said.

"Denmark is also Scandinavian."

"So that means..." Blake said.

"Plus 3 wins for Nora, which means..."

"Nora won!" Jaune said.

"I WON?! I WON!" Nora said.

"Congratulations!" Nova said and gave her a crown, a bouquet full of flowers and a ribbon that says 'WINNER'.

"YES! I'M THE QUEEN OF EUROVISION! KNEEL BEFORE ME AND MY MUSICAL TALENT!"

"Nora, it wasn't you who sang." Ren said.

"Quiet! Now make me some pancakes!"

"Is she like that every day?" Nova whispered to Jaune.

"Pretty much." he whispered back.

"For a god, you make a lot of mistakes." Weiss said.

"I , I found a good one, now let's start!" Nova said and started the video.

**(Video:IMPOSSIBLE 90%-TRY NOT TO SING OR DANCE (ANIME) PART 1-HD by Ackerman 845)**

**No.1: Fairy Tail **

Everyone passed the first one.

"Is this supposed to be a challenge? This is pretty easy!" Yang said.

"It will get harder. Trust me." Nova said.

**No.2: Yuri! On ice **

No one did anything.

"That intro was pretty well animated!" Blake said.

**No.3: Assassination classroom OP4**

This time they were trying not to dance.

"Now the challenge really starts!" Nova said.

**No.4: Free! ENDING**

"Okay, now it's getting difficult!" Yang said.

"When they mix two languages in a song, it sounds very weird!" Jaune said.

**No.5: Sailor Moon OP1**

They were trying not to move.

"That was so cheesy." Blake said.

**No.6: One punch man **

"If we knew the lyrics we would have lost right there!" Ruby said.

**No.7: Attack on titan **

They saw the intro and got fascinated. But they forgot the challenge and danced.

"You lost." Nova said and everyone groaned.

"We forgot that this was a challenge! The intro was so epic!" Ruby said.

"And now I noticed that there are a lot similarities between your world and that show."

"What kind of similarities?" Weiss said.

"Just like you do, they dedicate their lives to protect humanity from creatures that want to destroy it. Instead of black monsters, they fight titans."

"Yeah, but I bet they don't have cool powers like us!" Nora said.

"The protagonist can turn into a titan.". Now everyone was in a bad mood.

"I feel like a ripoff!" Ruby said.

**No.8: Jojo's bizarre adventure OP2**

"I want to dance so badly!" Ruby said.

"Hold it sis! Hold it!" Yang said.

**No.9: Boku no hero academia OP4**

"The animation looks so clean!" Jaune said.

**No.9: Tokyo ghoul: Re **

"This isn't a hard challenge. We can't dance to some songs and we don't know the lyrics." Pyrrha said.

"Yeah, now I see that this was a bad decision. Should I put another video?" Nova said.

"No, leave it! I want to hear the rest of them!" Ruby said.

"Does anyone else have a problem?". They agreed to continue. "Okay then!"

**No.10: Boku dake ga inai machi (Erased)**

They didn't dance.

**No.11: Toradora!**

They were trying so hard.

"It's always the upbeat ones!" Ruby said.

**No.12: Dragon Ball Kai**

Nova was trying so hard not to dance and everyone looked him.

"You can't resist? You're a god!" Weiss said.

"I'm also a Dragon Ball fan!" Nova said.

**No.13: Haikyuu! OP4**

"That game looked fun! What is it called?" Nora said.

"Wait...you don't know what volleyball is?!" Nova said.

"Have you seen our world?!" Yang said.

"They make shows about sports? What are they going to do next? Anime about card games?" Weiss said.

"It's called Yu gi oh." Nova said.

"You're kidding. What else? Marbles?"

"B-daman."

"Spinning tops?" Ruby said.

"Beyblade."

"Hmm...capsules?"

"Monsuno."

"A guy who died and got reborn in a magic world?" Nora said and everyone stared at her. "What?"

"Isekai wa smartphone."

"Video games?" Yang said.

"Sword art online, log horizon and many more."

"Wow. There is an anime about everything!" Jaune said.

"I know! And there are some that are sick as fuck!"

"How much sick?" Yang said.

"Well, there is a mang about a girl that is a doorknob and her privates are the keyhole.". Everyone was disgusted by that.

"Why did you have to ask?!" Blake said.

"I was curious! Can we continue now?" Yang said

**No.14: Seven deadly sins**

They tried really hard.

"There are some very catchy songs!" Ruby said.

**No.15: Kekkai sensen**

"Damn those are really cool looking openings!" Yang said.

**No.16:Tengen toppa gurren lagann**

They really tried.

"That robot looked so cool!" Ruby said.

**No.17: Kuroko no basket OP3**

It wasn't difficult.

"They make sports look really intense for no reason!" Weiss said.

"They are intense, but this is getting ridiculous." Blake said.

**No.18: Cowboy Bebop**

"3 2 1 let's jam, FUCK!" Nova said and everyone laughed.

"I didn't expect that!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"It was so random!" Ruby said.

"It's very catchy!" Nova said.

**No.19: One piece**

This was probably the most difficult song to not dance.

"It's torture!" Nova said.

"The song was too good!" Ruby said.

**No.20: Ouran high school host club**

"What the hell was that?" Blake said.

"I have no idea and I don't want to know either." Nova said.

**No.21: Yamada-kun to 7-nin no majo**

"What were those weird hats?" Ruby said.

"Those were hats that witches wore." Nova said.

"Do witches exist on Earth?"

**No.22: Ao no exorcist**

They passed that song with ease.

**No.23: No game no life**

"Are all openings so dramatic?" Blake said.

"Most of them." Nova said.

**No.24: Black clover OP3**

They tried not to sing.

"That was awesome! I want to watch some of these shows now!" Ruby said.

**No.25: Naruto Shippuden OP9**

"Some of them are difficult not to dance to them!" Ruby said.

**No.26: Bungou stray dogs OP2**

It was getting now difficult for them.

**No.27: Noragami**

"That looked good. The small coloured areas inside the black and white." Weiss said.

**No.28: Sword art online**

They had a hard time with this one.

"It had great animation, great intro, but the anime itself isn't that great." Nova said.

"That's a bummer." Yang said.

**No.29: Dragon Ball super OP5**

They couldn't take it.

"Goku's hair were blue!" Ruby said.

"That's his Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan form, or simply Super Saiyan Blue." Nova said.

"There are more forms than Super Saiyan?" Jaune said.

"Yeah, it's ridiculous! So many forms and still he can't beat me!"

"WHAT?!" everyone said.

"Actually that makes sense. No mortal can defeat a god like you Nova." Ren said.

"Yeah, I don't know why you're all surprised!" Nova said.

**No.30: Mob psycho! 100**

It was easy.

**No.31: Kuroshitsuji**

They tried not to move to the rhythm.

"Weiss, do you have butlers like him?" Nova said.

"No, I wish though." Weiss said.

**No.32: Soul eater**

"Damnit, not soul eater!" Nova said while trying not to dance, like everyone else.

"Did he just transformed into a scythe?" Yang said.

"That's awesome! I wish mine could turn into a person! We would be best friends!" Ruby said.

"In this show, I think they can transform into weapons." Nova said.

**No.34: Naruto Shippuden OP4**

It was easy.

**No.35: Deadman wonderland**

They tried not to dance.

"That was in English!" Ruby said.

**No.36: Fullmetal alchemist**

"I WANT TO DANCE!" Nora said.

**No.37: D-gray man OP3**

It was easy.

**No.38: Psycho-pass OP2**

"The lyrics didn't make sense." Weiss said.

"Japanese people do it all the time." Nova said.

**No.39: Fairy tail OP9**

It was difficult.

"That sounded very festive." Pyrrha said.

**No.40: Seven deadly sins OP3**

It was also difficult.

**No.41: Fate/stay night OP2**

"That was good!" Yang said.

**No.42: Kill la kill OP2**

"That was awesome!" Ruby said.

"The animation also was really good." Ren said.

"Their butts were naked." Nora said.

"I love Sonic Adventure 2." Nova said.

**No.43: Fullmetal alchemist brotherhood OP3**

It was easy.

**No.44: Boku no hero academia OP5**

It wasn't easy.

**No.45: Overlord OP3**

They tried not to dance.

"The song was good, but the autotune ruined it." Yang said.

**No.46: Naruto Shippuden OP20**

It was easy.

**No.47 :Hunterxhunter**

It wasn't easy.

**No.48: Fullmetal alchemist brotherhood **

It was also easy.

**No.49: Drifters**

"Okay, that was cool!" Yang said.

**No.50: Ao no exorcist OP3**

They didn't dance.

**No.51: Attack on titan OP4**

It wasn't difficult.

**No.52: Darker than black OP3**

They tried not to dance.

**No.53: Rakudai kishi no cavalry**

It was really hard for them.

"Okay, I take it back. That was way better." Weiss said.

**No.54: Naruto Shippuden OP16**

They tried so hard, but for Nova it was torture.

**No.55: Shoukugeki no soma**

"There is even about cooking?!" Weiss said.

"That's how you make cooking epic." Nova said.

**No.56: Gintama OP13**

It was difficult.

**No.57: Durarara! OP2**

"That was very weird." Yang said.

**No.58: Neon genesis evangelion**

It was the most difficult.

"Don't sing! Don't sing! Don't sing!" Nova said.

"This is torture!" Ruby said.

**No.59: Mirai nikki**

"That was awesome!" Ruby said.

**No.60: Tokyo ghoul: Re OP2**

"That scream though." Yang said.

"Okay, it's getting dark, I better get going." Nova said.

"Can we see one more?" Ruby said.

"As the queen of Eurovision I demand to see one more!" Nora said.

"Okay, one more."

**And done. Next is a game grumps animated. Like, follow, review. See you soon!**


	20. Game Grumps animated Toad war

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 19:**** Game Grumps animated Toad war by stejkrobot**

"Let's see, which one should I pick? Ah, there it is!" Nova said.

**[Intro]**

"What is it?" Ruby said.

"It's a moment from a gaming video animated. You must have seen these types of videos." Nova said.

"Who are they?" Yang said.

"The best."

**Dan: Oh this game is WONDERFULLY easy!**

**Arin: (Laughter)**

"It's well animated." Blaake said.

"Fans can do great job." Nova said.

**Dan: It's disturbing to see that Toad with a spear...By the way.**

**Arin: Oh yeah. Like army Toad!**

**Dan: Damn...**

**General Toad: Everybody, MARCH!**

They laughed with the voice.

"That is so wrong! An army full of mushroom people!" Ruby said while laughing.

**Arin & Dan: (Laughter)**

**Arin: Just... RAMM BAMM BAMM BAMM BAMM BAMM!**

They laughed even more.

**Dan: The fucking "Nine Inch Nails" theme from "300" starts playing.**

"This got very disturbing." Jaune said.

"Why is it so funny?" Yang said.

"Because they're Toads." Nova said.

**Arin: (Laughter) Oh, what was it? It was like, uh, WAOOO BUM BUM! No that was Pacific Rim.**

**Dan: It's, DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNN!**

**Arin: Oh yeah, that's right!**

**Dan: Yeah...**

**Arin: Ah, man...**

**Dan: Nice airship.**

**Arin: Yeah, it's alright, I guess...**

"I like how they don't care at all." Yang said.

**Dan(speaaking under breath): But it's not Final Fantasy VII...**

**Arin: I mean, it's fucking Bowser's airship. Soooo...**

**Dan: Ohhhhh shit...**

**Arin: Yeah, thanks for complimenting my enemy...**

**Dan: Sorry...**

**Arin: My mortal enemy.**

**Dan: Ooh... WHOA! This took a fucking really serious turn!**

"The city became a battlefield!" Ruby said.

"It's too bad!" Pyrrha said.

**Arin: Yeah. That's why they got the spears! Now they're like...**

**Toad: FIGHHTT! LAUNCH THE CANNONS!**

They laughed.

"It sounds so terrible and funny at the same time!" Yang said while laughing.

**Arin: (explosion sound effect) BOOM! You see, like, limbs flying everywhere...**

**Dan: Oh god!**

**Toad: WE WON'T LET THOSE FUCKERS TAKE THIS LAND!**

**Dan: (Laughter)**

They couldn't stop laughing.

**Toad: ISN'T THAT RIGHT TOADS?**

**Toads: RIIIGGGGHHHHTTTT!**

"Why is it so funny?! War isn't funny!" Weiss said while laughing.

**Arin & Dan: (Laughter)**

**Arin: They all get in their, like, jet fighters and they're like...**

**Toad: LAUNCH THE NUKES!**

**Arin & Dan: (Laughter)**

"Stop! I can't take it!" Blake said while laughing.

"What's a nuke?" Nora said.

"A bomb that can destroy an entire city. Here, look." Nova said.

**Arin: BAZUUU...(Loud rumble and Toadette watches.)**

"Weapons like those exist?!" Weiss said.

"Unfortunately." Nova said.

**Arin: WHOA! Check it!**

**Dan: Fuck, man...**

**Toad: NO! TOAD!**

**Arin & Dan: (Laughter)**

**Wounded Toad: Go on without me, Toad...**

**Arin & Dan: (Laughter)**

"That is so terrible" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**Dan: Jesus Christ...**

**Toad: I WON'T LET YOUR INTESTINES FALL OUT ANYMORE, TOAD!**

"Why are we laughing?" Yang said while laughing.

**Dan: This...Got really serious...**

**[Outro beatboxing]**

**Mario: OH SHIT!**

"Was that Mario?" Jaune said.

"Yes. The game was Super Mario Galaxy." Nova said.

"That was hilarious!" Yang said still laughing.

"Okay, it's time to go home now. Good night!"

"Good night!" everyone said and Nova teleported to his planet.

**And done. Thank Nova that subtitles exist. Next chapter is dbz abridged. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	21. DBZA EP4& Deleted scenes

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 20:**** DBZ Abridged EP4& Deleted scenes**

It was a nice morning in Nova's planet. He woke up with a smile on his face. He took a morning bath at his beautiful falls behind his mansion. He dressed up, had breakfast and teleported to his friends's planet. He appeared in team RWBY's dorm.

"Good morning girls!" Nova said.

"Good morning Nova!" the girls said.

"You seem very happy!" Ruby said.

"I am, because last night was the best of my life!" Nova said.

"Don't tell me! You were on a date?" Yang said.

"No, I wasn't- of course I was!". The girls got excited when they heard it.

"How does she look?" Weiss said.

"Here's her photo.". Nova showed heer photo from his iPhone X.

"Damn, she looks good!" Yang said.

"I know, she's a model! I hit Jackpot! Anyways, I'm here to watch some DBZ."

"I'll bring the others!" Ruby said and went to call team JNPR.

_After a minute_

"Wow, she's beautiful!" Jaune said. Nova showed her photo to the others.

"I know! Is everyone ready?" Nova said and everyone nodded. "Okay!"

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(Scene opens up with a full view of Snake Way.)**

**NARRATOR: Last time on Dragon Ball Z Abridged... Goku began his journey down Snake Way. ...Wait is that some kind of innuendo?**

Yang was thinking what the innuendo was.

"Are you thinking about the innuendo?" Blake asked.

"What? No! I-yes." Yang said.

**(Goku is seen running down Snake Way.)**

**GOKU: (in his thoughts) This is going to be the longest, toughest journey I've ever made! I have to receive King Kai's training, and battle the biggest threat to the planet we've ever faced! I have to run as fast as I can—I have to keep running! For the sake of the Earth, humanity, and my fam—**

**(Camera cuts to a sleeping Goku on a moving cleanup truck. The truck bumps into something, causing Goku to fall off Snake Way and down into the clouds.)**

Everyone laughed.

"I can't believe he's sleeping!" Weiss said.

"When your running four two months non-stop, you have to get some sleep." Nova said.

**GOKU: (hits his head on Snake Way) OW, GAAAAAAAAA...**

Everyone laughed.

**(Opening sequence with Goku's scream fading out, which resumes at the end of the sequence.)**

**(Scene changes to a screaming Goku falling straight into the depths of Hell.)**

**GOKU: AAAAAAHHHHH—**

**(Goku crashes hard onto the floor.)**

**GOKU: (in pain) Oowwww...**

They couldn't do anything but laugh.

**GOZ: Oh who do we have here? A little girly man, yeah?**

**GOKU: I'm Goku. Who are you?**

**GOZ: I am Goz.**

**MEZ: And I am Mez.**

**GOZ & MEZ: Und we are here to pump (camera cuts to a surprised Goku while a clapping sound is heard) you up!**

"They talk really weird." Nora said.

"They have a German accent." Nova said.

"German?" Ren said.

"Shouldn't Weiss talk like that?" Yang said and everyone laughed. Weiss became red from embarrassment.

"She could talk like-!". Nova then starts saying stuff like Hitler and everyone was laughing their ass off.

"STOP IT!" Weiss said.

**GOKU: (disturbed) Okay... well I'm sorta—**

**GOZ: (interrupting) First we are going to do a hundred squats!**

**MEZ: And then lots of push-ups on the hard ground!**

**GOZ: And then a bunch of jumping jacks! Ooooooooo!**

"I don't know how we should take this, too much exercise or super creepy?" Blake said.

**GOKU: (even more disturbed) That...sounds like...fun. But I'm sort of in a hurry? How do I get out of here?**

**MEZ: 'Agh, there's no way out of here; unless you manage to beat us in a test of strength and speed.**

**GOZ: Yeah, lots of running, 'und wrestling, 'und 'sveat!**

"Eww, _sveat._" Yang said and she laughed, then everyone else laughed.

**MEZ: Grappling each other on 'ze cold ground, yeah.**

**GOKU: (desperate to avoid this) Okay, now let's say we went through all of that, then where would you say the exit is?**

**GOZ: (points towards the exit) Oh. It's right over 'zere.**

**MEZ: Ja, but you have to beat us first, and—(sees Goku running off) Ach! He's running away!**

Everyone laughed.

"He actually thought something smart!" Weiss said.

**GOKU: (stops running and turns around) Oh, before I go, have you seen my brother Raditz around here? Spikey hair, tail?**

**MEZ: Agh, yes, he made a horrible mess of 'ze Blood Fountain.**

**GOKU: (looks at the Blood Fountain) Looks fine to me.**

**GOZ: (angrily) IT USED TO BE 'VATER!**

They were surprised, but they laughed anyways.

"Wait, they're ghosts, they don't have blood." Ruby said.

**GOKU: Wow. Well, I'm going now! By the way, thanks for the fruit! (reveals a fruit he took from the tree)**

**MEZ: (horrified as he watches Goku eat the fruit) Agh! He has a piece of 'ze fruit! Agh, nein! Don't eat 'ze fruit! Don't eat 'ze fruit!**

**GOKU: (finishes eating the fruit) Bye! (leaves)**

"What was that fruit?" Ren asked.

"It's a magical fruit that gave you strength. Here it's..." Nova said.

**GOZ: Oh, now we can't make 'ze fruit salad for King Yemma's barbeque!**

**MEZ: Yeah, 'und Dabura's going to bring something totally kickass, 'und we will have nothing, 'und WE WILL LOOK LIKE FOOLS!**

"They can get another fruit! There are a lot behind them!" Weiss said.

**GOZ: Ugh, I am so mad!**

**MEZ: Yeah, let us go 'vork off our stress by doing squat thrusts 'und stretches.**

**GOZ: Yeah, 'zen we'll do grappling in our speedos.**

**MEZ: I'll grab 'ze oil. (they both walk off)**

"Eww!" the girls said.

**(Scene shift to Earth at nighttime.)**

**NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Earth... Now that's got to be some kind of innuendo.**

"I don't think there is." Yang said.

**(Camera pans upward on a plateau, with a frightened Gohan looking down from the top as a wolf howls from a distance.)**

**GOHAN: I can't believe Piccolo left me out here all alone! How am I supposed to get down from here?**

**PICCOLO: (offscreen) CLIIIIMB DOWWWWWWWN!**

Everyone laughed.

"Is Piccolo watching?" Pyrrha said.

"He is not capable enough to climb down!" Blake said.

**GOHAN: I can't even get any food or water! What should I do?**

**PICCOLO: (offscreen) I SAID, CLIIIIMB DOWWWWWWWN!**

They laughed even more.

**GOHAN: If only I had some sticks or reeds lying around, I could make a makeshift ladder, or a rope...**

**(Piccolo screams offscreen in frustration.)**

They couldn't breathe from laughing.

"What did he expect?" Weiss said while laughing.

**(Scene shift to Kami's Lookout.)**

**KAMI: You have all come to train on my lookout. But since I am quite old, I shall leave you in the capable hands of Mr. Popo. (begins to walk inside the lookout) Mr. Popo, you know what to do...**

**MR. POPO: Yes, Kami.**

"Oh no! I forgot about Mr. Popo!" Ruby said.

**(Camera changes to Mr. Popo looking at Krillin, Tien holding Chiaotzu, Yamcha, and Yajirobe as a sound of a door slamming can be heard.)**

**MR. POPO: Alright maggots, listen up! Popo's about to teach you the Pecking Order!**

**(screen goes black)**

**MR. POPO: It goes: You (show a text "YOU"), the dirt (shows dirt), the worms inside of the dirt (shows a group of worms), Popo's stool (shows a black censored box, literally not meaning a type of seat), Kami (shows Kami), then Popo (shows Mr. Popo's eyes on top). Any questions?**

"Uhh..." Ruby said.

"Don't ask." Yang said.

"Why is Popo first? Shouldn't Kami be on top?" Ren said.

"Because he's Popo." Nova said.

**KRILLIN: Um, yeah I—(cut to an outside shot of Kami's lookout as a punching sound can be heard, followed by a black dot falling off said lookout)**

**KRILLIN: (as he falls off the lookout) GGGAAAAAA... (scream fades out)**

**(Krillin Owned Count: 3)**

They were laughing really loud now.

"Poor Krillin!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**MR. POPO: Enjoy the climb back up, BITCH! Now, any more questions? (everyone remains silent) Good, then we can begin.**

"This is going to be tough for them." Yang said.

"You have no idea." Nova said.

**(Scene changes to Goku running on Snake Way.)**

**GOKU: Okay! No more diversions! This is really important! No more sidetr— (notices a house) Oooh a house!**

**(Goku stops running and looks at the front entrance)**

**GOKU: (in his thoughts) Is that a snake?**

**(Snake-house sucks Goku inside its mouth.)**

**GOKU: ...EEEEEEEEEEEEEE—**

**(Goku falls through an open door from the ceiling and hits his back on the the floor, causing him to scream in pain.)**

"He did it again!" Weiss said.

"What would be an annoying filler without annoying obstacles?" Nova said.

**(Cuts to a black screen, with a sound effect from Metal Gear Solid's intermission playing, and then a screen opens up, which is a reference to a Codec conversation in "Metal Gear Solid".)**

**SERVANT: Princess Snake! you have a visitor!**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: Ah, perfect... Now let me assess the situation from here...**

"Why does she talk like that?" Jaune said.

"Because there is a game called Metal Gear Solid and the protagonist's name is Snake, and Snake talked like that." Nova said.

**(Princess Snake looks out a window and notices Goku talking to a servant)**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: Well, he's quite the hunk of man-meat! But what's with the hair?**

**(Door opens and shows Princess Snake and two servants walking towards Goku.)**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: (in her thoughts) I just love this fur coat! Especially since I killed all the animals for it myself!**

"I don't like her." Nora said.

**GOKU: Huh? You don't look like you be King Kai.**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: (blushes) What? Did my magnificent breasts tip you off?**

"They're not that good." Yang said.

**GOKU: (confused) W-what?**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: Nothing. Are you hungry?**

**GOKU: Yeah! I could eat anything right now!**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: Me too...**

"She wants to eat him or have sex?"

"YANG!" Ruby said.

"What? I'm just _saiyan! _Get it?"

"Shut up." Nova said.

**GOKU: What?**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: Nothing! Take a seat!**

**(Scene shifts to a table filled with steaming food.)**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: I killed everything here with my bare hands. Including the bear hands—It's a PUN!**

Everyone was laughing but Yang laughed even more because of the pun.

"The pun itself wasn't funny, but when she said _it's a pun _then...!" Pyrrha couldn't finish her sentence because of her laughter.

**(Goku is seen chowing down on the food.)**

**GOKU: (with his mouth full) I can't believe you took all this down yourself!**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: I wanna take YOU down...**

**GOKU**/everyone**: What?**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: Nothing! Get in the hot tub!**

**(Scene changes to Goku taking a bath in a hot tub filled with red water.)**

**GOKU: Wow, this water's really nice!**

**(A cardboard box slowly moves behind Goku.)**

"Are you kidding me?" Weiss said.

**PRINCESS SNAKE: (spying at Goku from inside the box) Not as nice as your ass!**

Everyone didn't expect that and laughed.

**(An exclamation mark appears above Goku's head, along with the alert sound effect from "Metal Gear Solid" playing.)**

**GOKU: Huh?**

**(Princess Snake quickly moves out of the screen in her cardboard box.)**

**(Scene changes to Goku entering Princess Snake's castle, fully dressed.)**

**GOKU: Well, thanks for the food and stuff, but I've got to get to King Kai!**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: (runs behind Goku) No! First you must pass the test of... endurance!**

"I don't like where this is going." Weiss said.

**GOKU: What's that mean?**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: It means I want you... (blushes and covers part of her face with her fur coat) inside me!**

"Please no!"

**GOKU: (completely clueless) What do you mean?**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: You'll see...**

**(Scene changes to Goku flying away from Princess Snake in her snake form, with the "Encounter" music from Metal Gear Solid playing.)**

**GOKU: Aaaaaahhhh!**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: Hah! Total supplication! (breathes fires at Goku)**

Everyone was relieved because it wasn't about sex.

**GOKU: Whaaaaa! Stop chasing me!**

**(Princess Snake tries to bite Goku but Goku flies out of the way)**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: (makes grunting noises)**

"What's with the grunting?" Blake said.

**GOKU: Stop grunting—it's creepy!**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: (grunts) Wakka wakka wakka—**

**(Scenes changes to Princess Snake chasing Goku in the style of a Pac-Man game)**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: Wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka.**

The gamers laughed at this.

**GOKU: (simultaneously as Princess Snake is saying "wakka") Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—(notices meat) Ooo! (stops moving and eats meat)**

Everyone laughed at this.

"He stopped for a stake!" Yang said while laughing.

**PRINCESS SNAKE: Wakka wakka wakka wakka wak—**

**GOKU: (simultaneously as Princess Snake is saying "wakka") Aaaaaaaaa—**

**(Scene changes to a wasteland at nighttime. Piccolo is watching Gohan from the sky as he is still stuck on top of a plateau.)**

**PICCOLO: Oh for god's sake, now he's just standing there looking at the moon like a retarded puppy! **

They tried to hold their giggles.

**PICCOLO: (camera zooms out and shows Gohan looking at a full moon) I was trying to teach him to fend for himself, but nooo, (Gohan begins his transformation into a Ōzaru) he has to be a WEAK, DEFENSELESS LITTLE—(finally noticing Gohan's transformation) Wait, is he getting bigger?**

**(Gohan fully transforms into an Ōzaru and holds up a barrel, with the theme of "Donkey Kong" playing.)**

"Holy crap!" Yang said.

"What happened to Gohan?" Ruby said.

"He transformed into Oozaru. A transformation that happens when the moon is full."

**PICCOLO: (surprised) Okay, that's new! (in his thoughts) Wait a second, that tail! (remembers Goku and Raditz's conversation) His Saiyan blood! Does this mean... (out loud extremely quickly) Everyone of Gohan's race can become a giant gorilla!**

**(Ōzaru Gohan shoots a mouth beam, destroying some terrain.)**

"That transformation is very powerful!" Ren said.

**PICCOLO: Damn it, if he destroys everything, what will be left for me?!**

"Of course!" Weiss said sarcastically.

**(Piccolo stares at the moon while Ōzaru Gohan continues to cause destruction offscreen.)**

**PICCOLO: (shoots a ki blast at the moon, destroying it) STOP MOCKING ME!**

Everyone laughed.

"What was that?" Ruby said.

"I don't know." Nova said.

**(Ōzaru Gohan shrinks, with the "Super Mario" sound effect of going down a pipe playing, and reverts to his human form, naked (which a Dragonball is censoring), and falls down unconscious.)**

"At least it's censored." Weiss said.

"Teamfourstar censored it. The original broadcast didn't."

"What? Why?" Ruby said.

"Because...I don't know!" Nova said.

**PICCOLO: (lands next to Gohan) Hah! Take that, Moon! Perfect orbit, my ass! **

Weiss facepalmed.

**PICCOLO: And— (looks at Gohan) Huh? Where'd the monkey go? Well, he's back to normal. (notices Gohan's "male jewels") Oh God, what the hell is that thing? Well, whatever it is, I don't like looking at it. This either. (pulls off Gohan's tail) Now... CLOTHES BEAM! (fires a beam at Gohan, giving him a new pair of clothes and a sword) That is easily my most metro attack.**

"But a useful technique?" Pyrrha said.

"What was that about the tail?" Ruby said.

"You'll learn in future episodes." Nova said.

**(Scene changes to Goku once again running on Snake Way.)**

**NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Snake Way...**

**GOKU: Man, that was close! Sure am glad I got away from that giant snake lady!**

**(Scene cut to Princess Snake tangled up in a knot.)**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: (grunts, trying to break free, but no avail) AAAAAAGGHHH!**

**(scream echos as the screen fades to black, showing the "Game Over" screen from Metal Gear Solid with its theme also playing)**

**SERVANT: Princess Snake? Princess Snake? PRINCESS SNAAAKE!**

Everyone laughed even though they didn't get it.

**(ending sequence)**

**[STINGER]**

**(Scene shows Piccolo with an unconscious Gohan.)**

**PICCOLO: Yep, and once again wanton destruction has solved all of my problems! With absolutely no negative repercussions!**

"He destroyed the moon! Isn't that going to cause natural disasters?" Weiss said.

"Our moon is part destroyed and nothing happened."

"Yes, but it's still there!"

**(Scene changes to Kame House.)**

**REPORTER: We've got breaking news that the Earth's moon has been completely destroyed. While the long-term environmental effects can only be guessed at, preliminary speculation puts the short-term death toll from tidal effects alone, at the hundreds of millions. We now go to our resident expert on lunar science, Sailor Moon. Sailor?**

**SAILOR MOON: (getting shocked) OH DEAR GOD!**

**REPORTER: Thanks, Sailor! We now return you to Nick at Nite's 24-hour Full House Marathon, already in progress.**

They laughed with the Sailor Moon part.

"I like that they live their lives normally!" Yang said.

**(Camera turns black. Scene changes to outer space, where Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods are seen flying through space and passes a few planets.)**

**NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.**

**VEGETA: What?**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: No.**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: No.**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: No.**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: No.**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: No.**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: No. **

Everyone laughed.

"Nappa acts like a kid!" Ruby said.

"Like you when you were little?" Yang said.

"Or Nora?" Jaune said.

"HEY!" both of them said.

"And now, the deleted scenes!" Nova said.

**Episode 2: Kamehame...**

"That's right! We never saw Goku do his move!" Jaune said.

**GOKU: (in the air) Alright! My first Kamehameha of the series! KAA-MEE-HAA-MEE...HAAAAAAAAAaaa(Raditz blocks), come on~!**

**PICCOLO: FAAAIIIL!**

Everyone laughed.

**GOKU: Hey, at least my attack doesn't take five minutes to charge!**

"He has a point." Ren said.

**PICCOLO: Oh yeah? Well, my attack is about to wipe out the last two members of your race!**

"BURN!" Nora said.

**GOKU: Ah, I suppose you're righ-wait, what?**

**RADITZ: (attacks)**

**GOKU: Oh crap!"(gets hit and falls)**

Everyone laughed.

"I love that he told him right in front of him that he'll kill him!" Blake said.

**Episode 4: Straßenfeger**

"Strabenfeger?" Ruby said.

"It's pronounced Strasenfeger. It's German." Nova said.

"Weiss, you're language is weird!" Nora said and everyone laughed.

**GOKU: (runs on Snake way)**

**HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: (driving) Hey, ya little bastard, get off the ro-(Goku jumps over him and continues)-ooly crap! That kid better watch ou, or he's gonna fall off the road-oh God, the irony...damn it all to Hell~(falls)...(lands on Goz)!**

**GOZ: (German word)**

Everyone laughed.

"What did he said?" Ruby said while laughing.

"I didn't understand it!" Blake said while laughing.

**MEZ: Mein Gott, Goz, are you OK?!**

**GOZ: Nein...mein Spein~...!**

Everyone laughed even more.

**Episode 4: Goodbye**

"Is someone important leaving?" Jaune said.

"No." Nova said.

**ATTENDANT: Well, with Princess Snake gone, there's only one thing left to do...(gets a gun and aims it at her head)goodbye, world!(pulls the trigger and the scren goes black)**

"Everyone was shocked, and Nova was laughing with their reaction.

"That wasn't funny!" Ruby said.

"That was very dark!" Pyrrha said.

"Was that real or edited?" Ren asked.

"It was real. She was playing Russian Roulette with Goku and she was first." Nova said and started to laugh.

"What is Russian Roulette?" Nora asked.

"It's a game of luck. There are more than one people and a revolver, and-"

"Don't continue! Weiss said.

"Ok sorry. I got another video."

"It's has killing in it?" Yang said.

"More German!"

"Yes, put it!" Nora said.

"Oh man!" Weiss said.

**And done! Next is **_**How German sounds compared to other languages **_**by Copy Cat Channel. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	22. German vs other languages

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 21:**** German vs other languages**

Nova started the video.

**(Video: How German sounds compared to other languages(Ultimate/Full version) by Copy Cat Channel)**

**Word 1: Aeroplane**

**French: Avion**

**British: Aeroplane**

**Italian: Aero**

**Mexican: Avión**

**German: FLUGZEUG!**

Everyone started laughing immediately.

"What was that?" Yang said while laughing.

"I like that the other languages sound nice and German angry!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"Please let this be short!" Weiss said embarrassed and laughing a little.

"It's five minutes." Nova said and Weiss whined more.

**Word 2: Surprise**

**French: Surprise**

**British: Surprise**

**Italian: Sorpresa**

**Mexican: Sorpresa**

**German: ÜBERRASCHUNG!**

They laughed.

"Imagine Weiss' birthday! Instead of surprise, we'll say that!" Yang said while laughing and everyone laughed even more.

**Word 3: Butterfly**

**French: Papillon**

**British: Butterfly**

**Italian: Farfalla**

**Mexican: Mariposa**

**German: SCHMETTERLING!**

Everyone laughed.

"I liked the word Mariposa. It shows how beautiful a butterfly looks." Ruby said and everyone agreed.

**Word 4: Pen**

**French: Stylo**

**British: Pen**

**Italian: Penna**

**Mexican: Pluma**

**German: KUGELSCHREIBER!**

Everyone laughed.

"Imagine saying that in class!" Nora said.

"It would be like ' Can I borrow your _Kugelschreiber'_?" Yang said and everyone laughed more.

**Word 5: Daisy**

**French: Marguerite**

**British: Daisy**

**Italian: Margherita**

**Mexican: Margarita**

**German: Gänsenblümchen!**

It wasn't that funny because he didn't said it angrily but it was funny nevertheless.

**Word 6: Ambulance**

**French: Ambulance**

**British: Ambulance**

**Italian: Ambulanza**

**Mexican: Ambulancia**

**German: Krankenwagen!**

Everyone laughed.

"It sounded more like KRANKHHVANKHH!" Yang said and everyone laughed.

"Is it me or you are actually funny?" Nova said and everyone laughed even more.

"She's actually funny when she doesn't say puns!" Ruby said.

"*le gasp* Even you Ruby? I can believe it!" Yang said.

**Word 7: Science**

**French: Science**

**British: Science**

**Italian: Scienza**

**Mexican: Ciencia**

**German: Naturwissenschaften!**

Everyone laughed.

"That's too big!" Jaune said while laughing.

"Is it even a word at this point?" Yang said while laughing.

**Word 8: Hippopotamus**

**French: Hippopotame**

**British: Hippopotamus**

**Italian: Ippopotamo**

**Mexican: Hipopótamo**

**German: NILPFERD!**

Everyone laughed.

"It sounds more like a bird than an Hippopotamus." Blake said.

**Word 9: Sex**

"This should be fun!" Yang said and was holding her laughter.

**French: Sexe**

**British: Sex**

**Italian: Sesso**

**Mexican: Sexo**

**German: GESCHLECHTSVERKEHR!**

Everyone laughed. They couldn't breathe from laughing.

"Pause it! Pause it!" Blake said while laughing.

"Oh, I can't! My sides hurt!" Yang said while laughing. They waited to calm down so they can continue.

**Word 10: Sorry**

**French: Pardon**

"I didn't know that it's a French word." Jaune said.

"You learn something everyday." Ruby said.

"_The more you know~!_" Nova said.

**British: Sorry**

**Italian: Scusa**

**Mexican: Perdón**

**German: Entschuldigung!**

Everyone laughed.

**Word 11: Hospital**

**French: Hopital**

**British: Hospital**

**Italian: Ospedale**

**Mexican: Hospital**

**German: Krankenhaus!**

"This wasn't that funny." Nora said.

**Word 12: Cinderella**

**French: Cendrillon**

**British: Cinderella**

**Italian: Cenerentola**

**Mexican: Cenicienta**

**German: Aschenputtel!**

Everyone laughed.

"It sounds like he's spitting!" Yang said.

**Word 13: Canary**

**French: Canari**

**British: Canary**

**Italian: Canario**

**Mexican: Canario**

**German: KANARIENVOGEL!**

It wasn't that funny.

**Word 14: Combine**

**Japanese: (I don't know japanese, I'll just write word)**

"Other languages now?" Blake said.

"Yes." Nova said.

**Swedish: Kombinerar**

**American: Combine**

**Brazilian: Combina**

**German: MÄHDRESCHER!**

Everyone laughed.

"It never gets boring!" Yang said.

**Word 15: Speed Limit**

**Japanese: (word)**

"Their writing is weird." Ruby said.

"I'm like, why don't they use normal letters instead of that?" Nova said.

**Swedish: Hastighetsbegränsning**

**American: Speed limit**

**Brazilian: Restrição de velocidade**

**German: Geschwindigkeitsbegrenzung!**

Everyone laughed.

"Why are they so big?" Ruby said while laughing.

"The Swedish one was also big." Weiss said.

**Word 16: Dolly**

**Japanese: (word)**

**Swedish: Säckväv**

**American: Dolly**

**Brazilian: Pano de saco**

**German: SACKKARRE!**

Everyone laughed.

"The yelling makes it even funnier!" Yang said while laughing.

**Word 17: Nipple**

**Japanese: (word)**

They were holding their laughter.

"She said it in English!" Ruby said.

"Yeah, nipperu." Nova said and everyone laughed.

**Swedish: Nippel**

**American: Nipple**

**Brazilian: Mamilo**

**German: Brustwarze!**

Everyone laughed.

**Word 18: Shaver**

**Japanese: (word)**

"That voice is so annoying!" Ruby said.

"Who's talking." Nova said.

"What are you saying?"

"_I don't know, maybe that your voice is annoying? _" Nova said doing a Ruby impression and everyone laughed.

"My voice isn't annoying." Ruby murmured with an grumpy face.

**Swedish: Shaver**

**American: Shaver**

**Brazilian: Barbeador**

**German: RASIERAPPARAT!**

Everyone laughed.

**Word 19: Sawdust**

**Japanese: (word)**

**Swedish: Sågspån**

**American: Sawdust**

**Brazilian: Serragem**

**German: Sägespähne!**

It wasn't that funny for them.

**Word 20: Cheers**

**Japanese: (word)**

**Swedish: Skål**

**American: Cheers**

**Brazilian: Saúde**

**German: PROST!(drinks beer)**

They laughed a little.

**Word 21: Regulation of property**

**French: Régulation de la proprieté**

"We're back with these languages now?" Jaune said.

"Yes." Nova said.

**British: Regulation of property**

"His moustache is so big!" Nora said and laughed.

**Italian: Dispositivo di fondo**

"His moustache is bigger!" Ruby said.

"Why does he does that thing with his hand?" Weiss said.

"Because he's Italian. You want to speak to an Italian, do that!" Nova said, doing it.

"Hey Blake, am I doing it right?" Yang said doing it too and laughed. Blake was unamused.

"But seriously, don't do it."

**German: GRUNDSTÜCKSVERKEHRSGENEHMIGUNGSZUSTÄNDIGKEITSÜBERTRAGUNGVERORDNUNG!(hits table)**

Everyone laughed.

"It's real?" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"I think he's just yelling gibberish!" Yang said.

**Word 22: Traffic law**

**French: Loi de trafic**

**British: Traffic law**

**Italian: Legge di traffico**

**German: VERKEHRSINFRASTRUKTURFINANNZIERUNGSGESELLSCHAFTSGESETZ!(hits table)**

Everyone laughed.

"I like how he punches the table angrily!" Ruby said.

**Word 23: Beef law**

"It sound yummy!" Nora said.

**French: Loi de boeuf**

**British: Beef law**

**Italian: Legge della carne**

**German: RINDFLEISCHETIKETTIERUNGSŮBERWACHUNGSAUFGABENÜBERTRAGUNGSGESETZ!**

Everyone laughed.

"All that to say beef law?" Weiss said while laughing.

**Word 24: Regulation of fortune**

**French: Régulation de la fortune**

**British: Regulation of fortune**

**Italian: Legge di patrimonio**

**German: VERMÖGENSZUORDNUNGSZUSTÄNDIGKEITSÜBERTRAGUNGSVERORDNUNG!(hits table)**

Everyone laughed.

**Word 25: Balance centrifugation**

**French: Balànce de la centrifugeuse**

**British: Balance centrifugation**

**Italian: Equilibrio della centrifuga**

**German: GLEICHGEWICHTSDICHTEGRADIENTENZENTRIFGATION!**

Everyone laughed.

"His face is priceless!" Yang said.

**Word 26: World cup**

**British: World cup**

**Italian: Campionati del mondo**

**Spanish: Copa mundial**

**Brazilian: Campeonato do mundo**

**German: Weltmeisterschaft!**

Everyone laughed.

"Did you see the Brazilian one?" Ruby said.

"Yeah, how he was moving the boobs!" Nova said.

**Word 27: Crossbar**

**British: Crossbar**

**Italian: Traversa**

**Spanish: Traversaño**

**Brazilian: Travessão**

**German: LATTE!**

They didn't find that funny. After watching so many German words, they didn't find that much funny.

**Word 28: Duel**

**British: Duel**

**Italian: Duello**

**Spanish: Duelo**

**Brazilian: Duelo**

**German: ZWEIKAMPF!**

They were immune now.

**Word 29: Penalty area**

**British: Penalty area**

**Italian: Area di rigore**

**Spanish: Area penal**

**Brazilian: Grande área**

**German: Strafraum!**

**Word 30: Forward line**

**British: Forward line**

**Italian: Attacco**

**Spanish: Ataque**

**Brazilian: Ataque**

**German: Sturm!**

"It's not funny anymore." Nora said.

**Word 31: Goal**

**British: Goal**

**Italian: Gol**

**Spanish: Gol**

**Brazilian: Gol**

**German: Tor!**

They found it a little funny.

**Word 32: Referee**

**British: Referee**

**Italian: Arbitro**

**Spanish: Árbitro**

**Brazilian: Árbitro**

**German: Schiendsrichter!**

"Is this the last?" Ruby said.

**Word 33: Goalkeeper**

**British: Goalkeeper**

**Italian: Portiere**

**Spanish: Portero**

**Brazilian: Goleiro**

**German: Torwart!**

_**End of video**_

"It's over now." Blake said.

"Wait. I have one more." Nova said.

**(Video: S stands for... TOO MUCH F*CKING GERMAN by MikeGoesBoom)**

_**Smile!**_

_**Sweet!**_

_**Sister!**_

_**Sadistic!**_

_**Surprise!**_

_**Service!**_

**SCHWERER PANZERSPÄHWAGEN SIEBEN KOMMA FÜNF ZENTIMETER SONDERKRAFTFAHRZEUG ZWEIHUNDERTVIERUNDDREISSIG / VIER PANZERABWEHRKANONENWAGEN!(shoots at statue)**

Everyone laughed.

"What did he say?" Ruby said while laughing.

"A proper way to say a tank." Nova said and everyone laughed.

"What's next?" Yang said.

"The best in improv." he said and started the next video.

**And done! Next is **_**Sonic Adventure 2 fandub Hero story **_**by Snapcube. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	23. Sonic Adventure 2 fandub hero story

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 22:**** Sonic Adventure 2 fandub (Hero story)**

"Is everyone ready?" Nova asked everyone and they nodded. "Okay, let's begin."

**Dispatcher: Alright, it looks like we got Sonic finally. He's been really hard to catch because he's so fast, but fortunately, we have him in this enclosed space.**

**Sonic: I'm gonna kill all of you!**

This got a few laughs.

"I thought Sonic was the good guy." Ruby said.

"It's all improvised. You're going to hear some weird shit." Nova said.

**Dispatcher: Yep, we've heard that before.**

**[Sounds of fighting, rings dropping]**

**Dispatcher: Anyway-Oh wait-**

**Sonic: I'm bustin' out now! I'm actually busting out of the prison!**

**Dispatcher: Oh god, he's actually doing it.**

**Sonic: I'm now outside of the prison bars! Here I go!**

"Isn't anyone going to stop him?" Weiss said.

"They're all dead. Who's going to do it? The one who flies the helicopter? I thought you were smart." Nova said and everyone laughed. Weiss' face turned red from embarrassment.

"Shut up."

**Dispatcher: You're a fugitive to law, Sonic.**

**Sonic: BLAM! I told you! I was gonna break free!**

**Dispatcher: You son of a bitch, Sonic.**

Everyone laughed.

"He's literally hanging from the helicopter! That's cool!" Ruby said.

"Why he was arrested in the first place?" Ren said.

"In the game, he was mistaken for another hedgehog. Here, just live with it." Nova said.

**Sonic: Live and Learn, everybody! That's what I'm talking about. Talk about a low budget flight! No food or movies? I'm- Big? What are you doing here?!**

Everyone laughed.

"Who's that?" Nora said.

"That's Big the cat." Nova said. Then there was an awkward silence.

"That's it?" Blake said.

"Yeah.". Then Nova started laughing.

**Dispatcher: He's also being brought into custody.**

**Sonic: You need to go back home. I have a suspicion you left the oven ooooooooon~!(falls and music starts playing)**

**Hayley: That's a cool JPEG.**

Everyone laughed.

"He fell! Is he insane?" Weiss said.

"That's how the first stage begins!" Nova said.

"That's an awesome game! I want to play it!" Ruby said.

"Me too!" Yang said.

"I didn't had you for a gamer." Nova said.

"Why not?"

"Because you don't look like one. You are beautiful, with blond hair, big boobs, thicc ass, you know martial arts and you have superpowers."

"Aww, stop it, you're too kind!"

"If you stop saying puns, then you'll finally have a boyfriend.". Everyone laughed. "Bazinga!"

"Screw you!"

**[Intro]**

"Nice song!" Jaune said.

"Sonic music is always good." Nova said.

"Wait. The person who plays Sonic is a girl?" Weiss said.

"Yeah, why?"

"She must be really good doing voices." Pyrrha said.

"It's her normal voice."

"You mean that's her actual voice? She's doesn't like a girl that much." Yang said.

**Sonic:(panting) Huh?!**

**Shadow: Hey.**

**Sonic: Wh-what's that?**

**Shadow: Do you know where the nearest Hot-Topic is?! Za warudo!**

Everyone laughed.

"What is a Hot-Topic?" Ruby said.

"It's a clothing store for nerds and edgy looking people. Why? You want to fill your wardrobe? Are you Hot-Topic Ruby? You want to look edgy like Shadow? I mean you share the same colours." Nova said and everyone laughed.

"What? No!"

"Oh my god, you do have the same colours! Ruby is Hot-Topic!" Nora said.

"I'm not Hot-Topic!"

"Ruby is an edgelord confirmed." Nova said.

'And I thought my ex was edgy.' Blqke thought.

**Sonic: Hey, you put that down. That's an expensive diamond!**

"Diamonds aren't green. This is an emerald." Weiss said.

**Shadow: Diamonds aren't green, dick-nips.(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"That's the best insult I've ever heard!" Yang said.

**Sonic: That's really rude, I'm gonna have to call the polices on you!**

"The polices?" Pyrrha said.

"It's really good for an improvised video!" Jaune said.

**Shadow: Za warudo!**

**Sonic: I'll make you eat those words!(laughter)Wha-!**

Only Nova laughed because he played the game.

**Shadow: See you, nerd.**

"Shadow is cool!" Ruby said.

"Too edgy." Blake said.

**Sonic: Huh?! He's faster than Sonic! He's faster than Sonic! What?!(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"What was that? He's faster than Sonic!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**Sonic: It's almost like that emerald has some sort of power!**

**Shadow: This emerald has all sorts of power. Za warudo!**

**Sonic: Stop saying that!**

**[Scene change]**

**Rouge: We meet at last.**

**Knuckles: We met last week, what are you talking about?! You've been hitting the reefers- AGH!**

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

"Weed Ruby. She smokes weed." Nova said.

**Eggman: That's right Sonic! I'm taki- oh I mean, oh Sonic isn't here. Knuckles I'm taking your emeralds!**

"He mistook him for Sonic? He's red and not a hedgehog! Actually, what is he?" Weiss said.

"He's an echidna." Nova said.

**Knuckles: That's fine. I didn't really want it anyway.**

**Rouge: Hey, those are mine, bring them back!**

**Eggman: No, fuck you I'm takin' it away, you thot ass.(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"Why was that funny?" Blake said.

**Knuckles: Ugh, now I'm mad! Ahhhhhh!**

**Eggman: OH! MY EMERALDS!(pain sounds)(laughter)**

This got a few laughs.

**Rouge: That's what you get for being a dumb-dumb piece of shit!**

**Knuckles: Sorry I wasn't trying to touch you! Nerd!**

**Rouge: Yeah, you were!**

"Who says nerd these days?" Yang said.

**Knuckles: Get out of my face!**

**Rouge: Pervert!**

**Knuckles: I just punched an emerald. It hurt really bad.**

"Knuckles must be very strong to punch an emerald." Ren said.

"Especially that big." Weiss said.

**Eggman: I'm going to kill these sons of bitches, RAH!**

This got a few laughs.

**Rouge: I can't believe you did this, this is all your fault.**

**Knuckles: I can't believe your tits are one polygon!(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"I can't believe he said that!" Blake said while laughing.

"I didn't expect that!" Yang said while laughing.

"The game does look that old!" Ruby said while laughing.

**[Scene change]**

**Tails: I'm flying this plane all by myself, I'm literally five years old , I'm not qualified to do this!**

"Five?!" Weiss said.

"He's actually eight and a super genius! That's Tails!" Nova said.

"A genius? That's cool!" Nora said.

"His name is Tails?" Pyrrha said.

"It's his nickname. His actual name is Miles Prower.". Yang immediately got the joke and laughed.

"Why are you laughing?" Weiss said.

"Don't you get it? Miles Prower! Miles per-hour!" Yang said and continued laughing. Everyone else groaned.

**Amy: Where's my mom?(laughter and Eggman laughing viciously behind her)**

Everyone laughed.

"That was random." Yang said.

**Tails: Hey, what are you doing down there? She looks like she's all by herself. Maybe I should go pick her up in my super cool airplane.**

"Tails gets dem girls." Nova said.

**Eggman: What the actual shit? WHERE DID AMY GO? SHE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!**

Everyone laughed.

"Boss fight!" Ruby said.

**Tails: Eggman, come over here!**

**Eggman: I'M GOING TO-ARGH MY BONES! OH, I KNOW I SH-(loud coughing)(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"I don't have words to describe it!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**Eggman: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?**

**Tails: Happy April Fools!**

**Eggman: OH MY GOD! That's it, I'm calling the police! 911, I've been attacked-**

**Tails: I am the police!**

**Eggman:(death sound)(laughter)**

**Tails: I am the police!**

Everyone laughed.

"Imagine the Grimm doing that sound when they die!" Yang said.

**Eggman:(sigh)**

"Wait. Why is he still standing? Tails defeated him." Ruby said.

"The game has two stories, the hero story where you play as the good guys and the dark story where you play as the bad guys. The fights end up in a tie." Nova said.

"That means that you have to do the same story all over again!" Weiss said.

"Kinda."

**Eggman: I miss my wife Tails.(laughter)I miss her a lot. I'll be back.(more laughing)**

Everyone laughed.

"Why would he say that?" Pyrrha said while laughing. "Especially to an eight year old?"

**Amy: Are you my mom? Oh wait, hi Tails! How are you?**

"Is she stupid?" Yang said.

"In the video yes. That's Amy Rose. He's Sonic's biggest fan." Nova said.

"Aww, Sonic has a cute girlfriend!" Pyrrha said.

"She's not his girlfriend. She's kinda annoying too."

"Like all crazy fans." Yang said.

"Wait a minute!" Nora said.

"What is it?" Jaune said.

"Her name is Amy Rose. Voiced by Hayley Rose. And we have Ruby Rose! IT'S A CONSPIRACY!"

"Or a coincidence." Ren said.

"A CONSPIRACY!"

"THE ILLUMINATI!" Nova continued. "Oh wait, they're all in prison. THE LIZARD PEOPLE! No, I banned them from Earth. THE ALIENS!"

"Why are you helping her?" Blake said.

"Because it's fun. It's the details that make life fun."

"He's not wrong." Pyrrha said.

"But the conspiracy part is stupid." Weiss said.

"She's with them!" Nora said.

**Tails: Hey Amy, I'm great. Do you want to come get in my super cool airplane?**

"His airplane is so cool!" Ruby said.

**Amy: No! Not at all. It looks really gross.**

**Tails: Awww.**

**Amy: Wait, on second thought, I don't want to be here.**

**Tails: No, it's too late. You already made up your mind, I'm out of here(laughter)!**

Everyone laughed.

"He left her there!" Yang said while laughing. "Tails is a savage!"

"She shouldn't make fun of his super cool airplane!" Ruby said while laughing.

**Amy: Wait come back I changed my mind!**

**Sonic: Oh! I'm in jail again! I just- Amy?!**

**Amy: Hey! I found you! All by myself with no help from any five year olds I kidnapped. What? Sorry.(laughter)Anyway.**

"Wow, she's crazy!" Ruby said.

**Amy: Wow, check out my legs! You like that? I'll let you out if you take my "I'll fuck you" card(laughter).**

Everyone laughed.

"She's so desperate she uses her v-card." Yang said.

**Amy: C'mon, this is my v-card I saved it for you!**

**Sonic: No! No I told you once too many- Oh, I'm so mad at you, one too many times is enough!**

**Amy: One too many times is not enough!**

**Sonic: You stop it right now, you're trying to trick me with your vixen tricks, I won't take any card I can get out by myself!**

"Seems impossible." Blake said.

**Amy: Alright, bye! Have good times in prison. Swipe.**

"Of course she wouldn't let him there." Pyrrha said.

"She's that desperate." Yang said.

**[Scene change]**

**Shadow: That blue hedgehog(Sonic: Hey, that's-!) again of all places.**

**Sonic: I've found you, faker!**

**Shadow: Faker? I think you're the fake hedgehog around here.**

"Is this the actual dialog?" Ruby said.

"Yes, it is." Nova said.

**Shadow: You're going around bein' an asshole? I mean that fits me but die.**

**Sonic: I'll make you eat those words!**

**Shadow: Perish.**

"Yes, another fight!" Yang said.

**Hayley: Shadow.**

Everyone laughed.

"No shit!" Yang said.

**Sonic: Thanks, I forgot who this was!(hits Shadow) Did we ever established our names? Hi, I'm Sonic!**

**Shadow: Nice to meet you. I'm Shadow. Ow.**

**Sonic: Sorry for hitting you so much. It's just part of the narrative. WHAM! Ow!**

**Shadow: I got you, you stupid blue fool.**

**Sonic: It seems as if(Shadow: Ow!) we're evenly matched in some kind of way!**

"But Sonic already won!" Jaune said.

"They're rivals. When the cutscene starts, they will probably be stiil fighting." Ruby said.

**Shadow: We aren't. You just killed me.**

**Sonic: Just kidding! I'm better than you! I'm better than everyone!(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"Why are all the protagonists say that they're the best?" Weiss said.

"Because they're protagonists. DUH!" Nora said.

**Shadow: But... I'm the ultimate lifeform...**

**Eggman: It would seem that you bitches have come to a standstill in Tarzan's forest. You have thirteen seconds before the island fucking explodes you Hot Topic wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch. You have done nothing but destroy my life, I hope you both die.**

Everyone laughed.

"You Hot Topic wannabe." Yang repeated.

**Sonic: Hot Topic?!**

**Shadow: No! My secret!**

"Is it really a secret at this point?" Weiss said.

**Ryan: Alfred I hope you know that is actually what happens in the story.**

**Penny: That is actually- like he literally was like-**

**Alfred: Wait dead seriously? Seriously?**

**Penny and Ryan: He literally says the island will explode-(island blows up)**

**Alfred: OH MY GOD I DIDN'T KNOW!(laughter) Oh my god I didn't know!**

Everyone laughed.

"Alfred is the best in this." Nova said.

"That was so funny!" Ruby said while laughing.

**[Scene change]**

**Knuckles:(Ryan sings the theme of Pumpkin Hill) And so I said, "What are you smoking the reefer again?". Hahaha, classic.**

"Who is he talking to?" Jaune said.

"Was that an acapella song in the background?" Blake said.

"Yeah. Ryan was singing the Pumpkin Hill theme in every level." Nova said and laughed.

**Knuckles: Ahh, I enjoy our talks. Whoop! Here I go. I can fly?!(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"What?" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"He didn't knew he could fly?" Weiss said while laughing.

"I think he was gliding." Ren said while laughing.

**Eggman: **_**Hehehe hey everyone! Guess what? I know you wanna buy my stocks, but fuck you. I'm keeping your stocks. That's right you ugly little girl, I hate you!**_**(Ugly girl: Mommy?)**_**And your stupid nose!**_

Everyone laughed.

"Why the girl?" Ruby said while laughing.

"It shows how old the game is. And she looks ugly." Nova said.

**Eggman:**_** I'm taking everything from you, give me your phone. I'm taking over Victoria Secret, I'm taking over Best Buy, the news is mine and everyone else can leave! You see that planet?! I'M TAKING IT TOO! **_

"I didn't know that you can do that with buying stocks." Ruby said.

**Eggman:**_** It looks like a fucking walnut! BLAM! AND IT BUSTED A NUT! THEN AND THERE!**_

Everyone laughed.

"Busted a nut!" Yang repeated while laughing. "This guy is hilarious!"

**Eggman:(evil laugh)**

"Is he going to blow up the planet?" Ruby said.

**Eggman: **_**Now DIE!**_**(laser goes to the moon)**

**Civilian: Oh my god, it missed!**

**Eggman: **_**Fuck you moon you never had the cheese I wanted!**_

"This is so stupid." Weiss said holding her laughter.

"I was sad when I learned the moon wasn't made of cheese." Nora said.

"You should've seen Ruby as a kid when see found out. Her world fell apart." Yang saids and everyone laughed.

"Yang! I can't believe you said that!" Ruby said.

"You're such a baby." Nova said.

"I'm not a baby!" Ruby said, but she was chibi, for the visual joke. She then fell from the couch and faceplanted on the floor, making a squeaky sound. Then she started to cry. Yang then took her in her hug to stop crying.

"Aww, don't cry. Here, take your Crescent Rose.". She gave the scythe to Ruby and she was happy again.

"Yaay!". Everyone was looking and burst out laughing. Ruby, now back to normal, turned red from embarrassment.(What kind of shit am I writing? Seriously!)

"That was the most disturbing, adorable and hilarious thing I've ever seen in my eternal life." Nova said.

"How did you do that?" Jaune said to Nova.

"And how did you make me play along?" Yang said dropping Ruby.

"When you hang out with a meme god, anything is possible." Nova said.

**Civilian: Oh. Well that wasn't very nice. I-I think that's gonna have some kind of effect on the tides or something.**

**Eggman: **_**I hope you're ready to die, it's gonna be like Evangelion get the fuck out.**_

**Sonic: Whoa.**

**Amy: That is like, Evangelion or some shit man that is crazy. Anyway.**

**Sonic: I just- ohhh. I always didn't like the moon but-**

"Why wouldn't someone like the moon?" Ruby said.

"Because it's not made of cheese." Nora said.

"Piccolo didn't like it." Nova said and everyone remembered and started laughing.

**Tails: No, I loved the moon! I don't know why he he felt like he needed to blow it up.**

**Sonic: Well, maybe it like said something weird about his mom or something. I don't know. I can't put my finger on it, or my tail, or my spikes.**

**Tails: Well here take this...diamond as a consolation prize. For the fucking moon blowing up I guess.**

"That's a weird present." Ruby said.

**Sonic: Wait a minute, I have an epiphany!**

**Amy: Wait, what's an- (Tails: Let's go!) what's an epiphany?**

**[Scene change]**

**Amy: So I said... "Why the long face?" You get it? Because uh- cause- anyway. So-(unintelligible)**

"She's really bad." Yang said and laughed.

**Tails: That's not- that's not very funny Amy, honestly you probably should like pick- keep your day job or pick a new career, I don't think stand up comedy is really your thing.**

**Amy: Ohhh. You mean I should marry a very handsome and wealthy man who has stock in the diamond and ring bussiness?(Knuckles appears) THERE HE IS!**

Everyone laughed.

"For someone who came from the sewers, he doesn't look like one." Weiss said.

**Knuckles: Hey, what's up good-looking? Also, hi Amy. I haven't seen you sincee nineteenth-aught-seven.**

Everyone laughed.

"What? Also hi Amy? What the hell?!" Blake said while laughing.

"Nineteenth-aught-seven? Who talks like that?" Yang said.

**Knuckles: Don't touch me harlot!**

**Tails: Can you guys like, stop having relationship issues while I'm on the phone with my dentist? I'm out of here, bye.(Knuckles: Ahh!)**

"Did you see that? His plane can also transform to a car!" This is the best plane ever!" Ruby said.

**[Scene change]**

**Secretary: Mr. President, you have a dentist appointment at 7:00.**

**President:(exhales)(awkward silence)**

They were trying to hold their laughter.

**President: Hmm, that's my favourite song. Also cancel that dentist appointment I don't need to get my teeth done.**

**Eggman**_**: I'm taking over the universe! I'm taking over your world! I'm taking over your TV! I'm glitching it! They call me the Glitch! Do you know why they call me the motherfucking Glitch?! Because I glitch your TVs out!**_

Everyone laughed.

"That was unexpected." Weiss said.

**Eggman: **_**I'm taking the world by storm. I'm gonna drop my newest album. Crackin' eggs.**_

**President: Crackin' eggs?(sees Sonic) Mh, ah!**

"This is very good for an improvised video!" Weiss said.

**Sonic: Hi, Mr. President. We need your help! Some masked villain named the Glitch took over the system-**

**President: Sonic, my long-lost lover! It's fi- oh.**

Everyone laughed.

"What?! Lovers?!" Weiss said while laughing.

"Isn't that bestiality?" Yang said.

"Yes, it is." Nova said.

**Sonic: Wha- hey, I told you not to bring that up anymore, I'm putting that behind me Mr. President. Now stop it and let's focus on business. Tails what you got?**

**Tails: Sonic I found this, like, used copy of Sims 4!**

Nova laughed.

"What game is Sims?" Ruby said.

"A 'real-life' simulation game. It's a very old series and for some reason very successful." Nova said.

**Sonic: What?! That's the least best Sims game! But I'll take it anyway, come on let's go!**

**Tails: Wait for me!**

"They came to steal a game and left! What?" Weiss said trying to hold her laughter.

**President: Wait wait! Come back! Honeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy!**

**[Scene change]**

**Knuckles: How the fuck did we get to Egypt?!**

**Sonic: It's a big triangle or something I don't know. What's on the top there?**

"It's a pyramid. Doesn't he know what a pyramid is?" Pyrrha said.

**Knuckles: I don't know but I'm gonna punch it. That's what I do. Anyway, what are you gonna do, pink?**

"Why is he so mean to Amy?" Ruby said.

"Ha, pink." Nora said.

"Don't you also sport pink colour? Nova said.

"Damnit!"

**Sonic: Hey, don't be so mean to Amy okay? She's literally just standing there. You just are very aggressive and you lash out when you get upset and you're confused. I promise(Knuckles: No!) everything will be explained.**

**Tails: Alright I've got my jet! Let's go!**

**Sonic: We don't have a jet.**

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: I'm gonna go in there first and you guys back me up okay? Okay?**

**Tails: Nope. I'm going.**

**Sonic: Do you guys hear me? Do you- hey!**

Everyone laughed.

"Tails doesn't follow orders." Yang said. "He's too cool."

"I love Tails." Pyrrha said. "He's so adorable!"

**Tails: I'm just trying to get a feel for this door. I think its made-**

**Sonic: It's made of wood Tails, there's nothing else to get a feel of, it's wood and paint.**

**Knuckles: Uh, actually it's a really low-res JPEG.**

"How old is this game?" Jaune said.

"Well, it's 2019, so it's 18 years old." Nova said.

"It's a good game for its time." Ruby said.

"Yeah, but the camera sucks. And it was made for a console that was made before three other consoles of that generation, so the graphics are kinda lame." Nova said.

**Sonic: What? A J- What's a JPEG? Stop speaking witch.**

**Eggman: Heyy bitcheeeees. Didn't expect to see me.**

**Sonic: Hey what's going on Eggman? Some weird guy named the Glitch is-**

**Eggman: Sonic I've had enough! You took my wife, you fucked my crops, I'm taking your life! And the chaos emeralds!**

Everyone laughed.

"Fucked his crops?! How is that possible?!" Blake said while laughing.

"Well, it's actually easy, you-" Nova was about to say.

"NOOOO! PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING!" Weiss said while laughing.

"How do you know that?! Why do you know that?!" Yang said while laughing.

"When Homo Sapiens was ruling the Earth, I had to wait because humanity wasn't evolved enough. So I went to another planet where flower people existed. They were more advanced in everything, including body type and I fell in love with a girl. Until their planet was destroyed by a meteorite. Poor Lila."

"How did they look?" Nora said.

"Like humans, but with green skin and instead of hair they had leaves."

**[Scene changes]**

**(Machine noises)**

**Alfred: WHAT?!(laughter) WHAT?! WH- WHY IS NASA THERE?! I'M SO CONFUSED!**

Everyone laughed.

"His reaction is priceless!" Nova said.

**Sonic: I gotta get on that plane! Oh no!**

**Knuckles: It's an ancient Egyptian space shuttle!**

"That's how spaceships look like?" Jaune said.

"Yeah. Although it's kinda weird that your technology is more advanced than Earth's and you still never went to the moon." Nova said.

"Dust power doesn't work out of Remnant." Weiss said.

"Have you ever used alternative power sources besides dust, like electricity or solar energy or oil or fossil fuels or air energy, water energy, nuclear energy?"

"Never. But some of those are good sources."

"And friendly to the environment. It's important."

**Penny: Hey, this is like, this is like what George Lucas was talking about with like rhymes in cinema. Like how the beginning of the one, I'm in a plane and now I'm in a rocket.**

**Alfred: Can I just real quick say that I never got to play this game and everything that's happening is new to me and my mind can't connect.**

**Blue:(laughing) I'm in the same boat! I have no fucking clue what's happening.**

**Penny: It's so epic right Alfred?**

**Sonic: **_**Did someone drop the emeralds again?**_

**Knuckles: **_**It wasn't me I swear!**_

**Tails: **_**Hey Sonic I have a question. Since I'm literally five, can you please explain to me how you fucked crops?**_

"Oh no." Pyrrha said.

"I thinks Tails will regret this for the rest of his life." Yang said.

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: I didn't- I didn't wanna have to explain that to you Tails I didn't wanna! You forced my hand.**

**Tails: PLEASE!**

Everyone laughed.

"Look at his face! He lost his innocence!" Yang said while laughing.

"Poor Tails." Pyrrha said trying to hold her laughter.

**Sonic: Now you're scarred for life, and I'm gonna have to take you to therapy and it's just-**

**Tails: Yeah I think I need to melt now.**

**Amy: After you explained how to fuck plants I think I'm a veggie.**

"Noo! Stop it!" Weiss said. "I don't want to hear no more!"

"That's disgusting." Blake said.

**Tails: I didn't expect that to be exactly how you explained it. But then after you explained it, it made so much sense that that's exactly how that would work. But now I'm wondering why the fuck would you do that?**

"Exactly! Why would he do that?" Weiss said.

"Because Eggman is a fat piece of shit." Nova said and everyone laughed.

**Amy: Well, it's a personal choice and I thank you not to judge me for it.**

**Sonic: AMY SHUT UP RIGHT NOW! Shut your mouth, right now! We are not opening that can of worms. Okay. Tails you go find Dr. Glitch.**

"Thank goodness it's over." Weiss said.

**Tails: Okay, I think I found him. He looks like he's uhhh somewhere inside- so- there's a flashing pink thing I don't really know.**

"It's confusing." Ruby said.

**Amy: We need to find our way down the thermal coils to the nuclear reactor. Once we implant the emerald into the reactor it will overload the system!**

"What?" Blake said.

"Did she just say something smart?" Ruby said.

"That was something a genius would say." Jaune said.

**Tails: I- okay, but I really just want to hold on to this very shiny object, it's really pretty.**

**Amy: Oooooo, shiny!**

"And she's back to normal." Weiss said.

**Tails: I was thinking I was gonna give it to my mom for her birthday. But, I guess if we have to pit it inside a nuclear reactor, that's what we have to do!**

"Tails is so cynical here." Blake said.

**Tails: So here Sonic, you take it and run real fast.**

**Sonic: At least we found some use for this piss rock.(laughter) I'm out of here. See you later!**

Everyone laughed.

"Piss rock?! That's hilarious!" Yang said while laughing.

"These guys are the best." Jaune said while laughing.

**Sonic: Man, it's so handy that you can read Tails.**

"He doesn't know how to read?" Ruby said.

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: So wait, I have to put the what in the what now?**

**Tails: **_**You have to put it in the nuclear reactor! Pit the piss rock **_**(Sonic: Huh?) **_**in the nuclear reactor!**_

**Sonic: What?! What did you just say to me?! Put the what in the what?!(Tails laughs)**

**[Scene change]**

**Knuckles: Ah, I see we meet again. For the first last time.**

"So it's the first time or the last time? I feel dizzy." Nora said.

**Rouge: But this time we're in space, I don't know how the fuck I got here to be honest with you.**

"How did she get there?" Ruby said.

"She was in Eggman's team." Nova said.

**Knuckles: I don't know how the fuck I'm breathing to be honest. AGH!**

"How are they breathing in space?!" Weiss said.

"Just deal with it." Yang said.

**Rouge: So, do you want to like, go get coffee later? Maybe? Me and my one polygon boobs? **

**Knuckles: They're my favourite polygon!(Big in the background)**

Everyone laughed.

"Why would they make a bat with a big chest?" Blake said.

"Fan service. It's always fan service." Nova said.

**Rouge:(Anguished screaming)**

**Knuckles:(saves her) I did it!(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"It's so stupid." Blake said while laughing.

**Rouge: Knuckles. That's- I- Knuckles, I'm so sorry.**

**Knuckles: I'm sorry did you not consent to me saving your life?!**

**Rouge: No, I did! I just-**

**Knuckles: I can push you back down!( Rouge: No listen!) I'm sorry I didn't mean to to do that.**

**Rouge: You're not listening to me! I wanted to say, I'm sorry for the way that I've acted and-(Big masturbating in the background)(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"What is Big doing?!" Ruby said.

"He's jerking off!" Yang said and laughed.

**Knuckles: WOAH BIG WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK THERE DUDE?!**

**Big: Uh, nothing uh, don't even look at me uh-**

**Rouge: Who are you talking to? Nevermind, it doesn't matter, I'm super high right now.(drops her weed)**

**Knuckles: Weed.(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"Weed?" Yang said.

"Isn't that the big emerald that Knuckles punched?" Ruby said.

"Yeah, now it's weed." Nova said.

**Rouge: Yeah. Weed. Just for you.**

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: That's right everybody. It's your favourite boi.**

**Eggman: Get the fuck out or I'm gonna shoot Amy in the fucking face!(Sonic: No!) I swear to god! I'll do it you bitch! GET OUT!**

Everyone laughed.

"Do it!" Yang said while laughing.

**Eggman: I will pop her.**

**Amy: Don't give him my life for a piss rock!**

**Sonic: Will you pop this piss rock?**

**Eggman:(gasps) Put the piss rock down right now, you know what piss rocks does to your (blenis)****.**

"His what?" Blake said.

**Sonic: I like what it does to my (****blenis) ****Eggman!(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"His what?" Weiss said.

"You heard him. His (blenis)." Yang said and laughed more.

**Sonic: And you know what? That's what's gonna give me the strength to get through this and- W O A H!**

**Tails: Sonic!**

"It's a trap!" Ruby said.

**Eggman: You thought you were gonna escape and I knew that you were gonna fart in here so I had to put up a fucking seal.**

"He's dead." Nora said.

**Sonic:(gets dropped in space) WOAHHHH!**

**Tails and Amy: No! Sonic!**

**Sonic: Talk about a low-budget flight.(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"Didn't he say that at the beginning?" Yang said.

"He did." Nova said.

**Sonic: Piss rock I pray to unto you this day. That you would protect me from my sins, and my transgressions.**

"This got very religious." Blake said.

"Wait. Can he do that Za warudo like Shadow?" Jaune said.

"Yeah, you're right!" Ruby said.

"It's called Chaos control. Za warudo is from Jojo!" Nova said and laughed.

**Eggman: Now, I will control the universe! And everyone will be able to watch Splatoon 2 let's plays ****by Eggman!(laughter)**

"What would you do if you controlled the universe? Make them watch your gaming videos." Yang said while laughing.

**Eggman: Now get in the fucking room!**

**Tails: Shoot me you fucking coward, DO IT!(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"Tails no!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"Death is his only salvation now." Nova said while laughing.

**Tails: You won't! I have no reason to live anymore now that Sonic is gone, and my piss rock.**

"Another fight, finally!" Nora said.

**Eggman: I'm going to make sure that you watch my Vine compilations and I'm gonna make you perish you little rodent.**

"That's the worst kind of torture." Yang said.

"The worst kind of torture would be watching a kid playing Roblox and doing Fortnite dances all day." Nova said.

"That's even worse."

**Tails: I will never watch your Vine compilations cuz they suck! You pick all the bad vines!**

**Amy: I'm just gonna hang out in the corner here and watch. Just don't shoot me.**

"I hope she dies by accident." Blake said.

**Eggman: MY FUNYUN RINGS! I'm taking them back!**

**Tails: Gimme those funyuns! OMNOMNOMNOMNOM**

**Eggman: I'm going to kill you! NO!**

**Tails: They're my funyuns now Eggman!**

"This fight is hilarious!" Ruby said.

**Eggman: Tails listen to me, I know who your mother is.(coughing and dying)(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"What the hell?" Weiss said while laughing.

"Now we will never know about Tails' mother." Nova said.

"Alfred is the best!" Yang said.

**Tails: DON'T YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME!(laughter)**

**[Scene change]**

**Knuckles: Am I in Halo?**

**Jesus: Knuckles, here's your bitch back.(Sonic appears)**

**Knuckles: Thanks Jesus!**

"Out of all people, why my brother?" Nova said.

"Your brother?" Ren said.

"I have a lot of brother and sisters, and besides me and Jesus, the rest of them are angels."

"That must be awesome!" Ruby said.

"It is!"

"And I thought I had a lot of sisters." Jaune said.

"How many do you have?" Pyrrha said.

"Seven."

"What?!" everyone said.

"You're literally like Lincoln Loud minus 3!" Nova said.

"3 what?" Ruby said.

"Sisters!"

**Sonic: One bitch fresh off the presses! What's up Knuckles? Piss rock saved me.**

"So he can do it." Weiss said.

**Sonic: And now I'm all dizzy.**

**Knuckles: I'm- I'm too high for this shit. I can't- I can't.**

**Sonic: Oh god please.**

**Knuckles: Are you, limber?**

**Sonic: No, I'm like a high equivalent. Anyway,(Knuckles: What?) so uh, what going on with Eggman? What'd he do, did he make everybody watch his Splatoon let's plays ir somethin'?**

**Knuckles: Everybody at home getting this right now?**

"We stopped understanding a long time ago." Ruby said.

**Sonic: Hey, this looks really d- delicious. I feel like I could eat this.(runs)(laughter)**

**Knuckles: Sonic! No! Whatever.**

Everyone laughed.

"He just ran to eat it!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**[Scene change]**

**Speaker: **_**Welcome to the Fun Land!**_

**Sonic: Oh.**

**Shadow: Welcome to Fun Land Sonic.(laughter)**

"Yes, Shadow is back!" Ruby said.

"We haven't seen him since the beginning!" Jaune said.

"The final battle begins!" Yang said.

**Shadow: Two tickets to ride on the Fuck You train.**

**Sonic: Oh sweet, is there a cart- wait. Ferris wheel is what I meant. I almost said cartwheel, this piss rock does crazy things to ya. You see ever seen one like this before?**

**Shadow: Oh, you know I have Sonic. You know I've seen my fair share of piss rocks.**

"Yeah, piss rocks have a beauty in them." Yang said.

"What are you talking about?" Weiss said.

"Something to sound funny." Nova said and everyone laughed. "Bazinga."

**Shadow: Now let's start running.**

**Sonic: You said that really sensually!**

**Shadow: Yes. I'm a very sensual being, a hopeless romantic if you will.**

**Sonic: What ya see is what ya get, just a guy who loves piss rocks! And adventure, I'm gonna run now.**

"That didn't make any sense." Blake said.

**Shadow: What the fuck?**

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: I'm gonna get faster than you!**

**Shadow: No, I'm faster than you actually. I did the math, I'm pretty fast.**

**Sonic: No, I'm faster than you! It's part of my name! Sonic-**

**Shadow: See look I'm faster- Ow.**

**Sonic: Sonic Fast-Man Hedgehog.**

**Shadow: Ok, first of all, rude.**

"They act like kids." Weiss said.

"They're actually teenagers, so..." Nova said.

"I guess that makes sense." Blake said.

"I think Sonic is the fastest." Ruby said.

"What about Shadow?" Yang said.

"He wears jet boots, he's skating, it's not the same."

"But he can keep up with Sonic." Jaune said.

"Because of his jet boots! Nova, who do you think is the fastest?"

"The Flash. End of conversation." Nova said.

"But-"

"End of conversation."

**Shadow: This is still like Dragon Ball Z.**

**Sonic: Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam, you know it goes, you know how it goes. Uh, just like Dragon Ball Z, did you ever watch that one episode of Dragon Ball Super where-(screen goes black). And then I said, "Hey! Give me back my lettuce!"**

Everyone laughed.

"What happened?" Ruby said while laughing.

"How did the conversation went from Dragon Ball to lettuce?" Weiss said.

"I think that's the joke." Jaune said.

**Shadow: What kind of list was it? Is it the naughty nice list you Santa mofo?**

"Is he even listening?" Blake said.

"What kind of list was he talking about?" Pyrrha said.

"It's a holiday, which you don't have in this world, and it's still July, so I can't tell you yet." Nova said.

"It's November." Ren said.

"What?"

"It's November, not July."

"What? No, I'm pretty sure it's July. Here, look.". He then showed the date on his phone and said it was July.

"Our scrolls say November." Weiss said and everyone showed theie scrolls to Nova and it said November.

"What the hell is going on?"

"There's only one way. You time travelled here!" Nora said.

"I can't time travel unless I summon a time travelling machine."

"That's very weird." Blake said.

"Can we continue now the video? We can discuss this later." Yang said.

**Sonic: No, I said lettuce(Shadow: Ahhh!). Were you even listening at all?**

**[Scene change]**

**ARK:(blowing up) Ohhhh noooooooooo.(gasping and coughing)**

Everyone was laughing.

"The ship is dying!" Ruby said while laughing.

**ARK: NO THE GLITCH! THE GLITCH! I didn't take, my Claritin XD!(heavy wheezing)**

**Sonic: Shoulda taken Dayquil!(thumbs up) Yeah!**

_**End of video**_

"The video was hilarious!" Yang said.

"And how they improvised, they were good!" Jaune said.

"Okay, now back to the important. How the fuck am I time travelling?" Nova said.

"Maybe our world's time flow is different than yours." Nora said and everyone looked at her like, 'did she just said something smart'. "What?"

"You're right. That must be it. What I know is that in a month you are all going to experience Christmas for the first time."

"What is Christmas?"

"The day my brother Jesus was born and the best holiday ever."

"Thanks Jesus!" Yang said.

"When is your birthday Nova?" Jaune said.

"That's kinda difficult to say. You know how the universe was created right? The big bang."

"We know. What about it?" Weiss said.

"I was the big bang.". Everyone was shocked.

"You were the big bang?!" Blake said.

"It was the day I was born and no one knows what day was it. So I say now that my birthday is on January 1st! Also, I wasn't your big bang."

"Oh right. But then again!" Ruby said.

"Anyway, what should we watch next? How about some Smosh? It's been a long time since I saw Smosh."

"Okay, whatever." Yang said.

**And done! I was originally going to add and some parts from the behind the scenes video but I changed my mind. The next chapter will be **_**Movie vs reality **_**by Smosh. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	24. Movies vs reality

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 23:**** Movies vs reality**

"Okay, which one should I pick?" Nova said.

"Just pick one." Weiss said.

"Okay, found one. Let's-!

"What is going on here?!" a voice said. Everyone turned around and saw who it was.

"Ms. Goodwitch!" everyone except Nova said.

"What is all that? And who are you?" Goodwitch said.

"I can explain everything. How about we go out tonight and talk about this in private?" Nova said as he went next to her and grabbed her ass. Everyone was shocked.

"HOW DARE YOU!?". She said after she slapped him in the face.

"It worth a try.". He snapped his fingers and Goodwitch stopped moving, like she was frozen.

"What did you do to her?!" Blake said.

"I stopped her. She is frozen in time. I didn't know your teacher was hot."

"Okay, first of all eww, teacher flirt, and second that was unexpected." Ruby said. Nora was playing with the frozen Goodwitch in the background, by touching her and Ren was trying to make her stop

"Oh no! Today is dorm inspection day!" Weiss said all worried.

"What?! It's today?!" Jaune said.

"How could you forget something like that?" Yang said.

"I don't know! I even took a note on my scroll, I wrote it on the desk and even in my cute puppy calendar!" Weiss said, showing the calendar.

"Aww, that's a cute puppy!" Nora said.

"What are we going to do now? She saw us and Nova!" Blake said.

"Don't worry, I got this." Nova said and started moving his index finger counter-clockwise and Goodwitch was moving in reverse, until some point. "Okay, I rewinded her five minutes back. Everyone get ready!". Team JNPR went to their dorm and team RWBY started tidying up their dorm. Nova snapped his fingers and the TV and couch disappeared.

"I think that's enough." Yang said.

"Okay, I'll go wait outside the window." Nova said and flew outside. Blake then heard footsteps outside.

"She's here." she said.

"Quick, act natural!" Ruby said. Goodwitch came inside and saw the girls doing whatever they were doing(I won't go into details).

"Hmm, everything seems fine here.". She then left the dorm. Outside she was thinking something. "Why do I feel like I was touched in the butt? Nevermind.". The girls inside sighed in relax now that it's over. Nova outside was waiting. But he saw someone watching him from below.

"What are you looking at? Go inside, you weirdo!" Nova said and the person ran inside. He then snapped his fingers. "Now he won't remember seeing me. Next time, I have to be more careful."

"Hey Nova, she left!" Ruby said from the window and Nova went inside.

"That was close." Yang said.

"I still can't believe that you grabbed her ass." Blake said.

"I couldn't resist. Is she into BDSM?" Nova said.

"I won't comment on that." Weiss said.

"What about your girlfriend?" Ruby said.

"Hey, Lucifer is not the only one that can have more than one girls! Basically he doesn't go out with them, he just has sex with them, but still."

"Whatever, I'll go get the others." Yang said.

Everyone was here now, Nova had brought the stuff back and sat down to watch some youtube videos.

"Is everyone ready?" Nova said and everyone nodded. "Okay, let's begin!"

**[Intro]**

**Anthony: I wish you were romantic like all the guys in the movies.**

**Ian: SHUT UP!**

**(A VHS tape titled Movies vs reality is inserted into the VHS)**

**Movie...**

**Blonde Ian: (enters the house) I saw (closes the door) you at a gas station, and followed you across the entire state and over two oceans, (touches the girl's shoulders) just to be with you.**

**Girl: Kiss me you strange man I don't even know!(Ian dips the girl down and kisses her)**

"I hate these types of movies." Yang said.

**Reality.**

**Ian: (enters the house) I saw (closes the door) you at a gas station, and followed you across the entire-**

**Girl: Molester! (sprays Ian's eyes)(Ian falls down and screams in pain) Bitch! (steps on Ian and leaves)**

**Ian: Owie...**

Everyone laughed.

"She sprayed him!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"I love this already." Yang said.

**MOVIE!**

**Crowd: (watch Ian and Anthony fight) Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!(Ian punched Anthony twice)**

**Anthony: (tries to punch Ian, but it gets blocked by Ian, and then knocks him down with a powerful punch) So good at punching!(the audience cheer)**

"I wonder how will that go." Jaune said.

"He'll probably lose." Ruby said.

"Or end up in the hospital." Blake saidd.

**Reality.**

**Crowd: Yeah!**

**Anthony: (punches Ian and dislocates some of his fingers) AHAHAHAHAH! Punching sucks!**

Everyone laughed.

"That was so gross!" Weiss said while laughing.

"I wasn't expecting that! The movie was more realistic!" Jaune said while laughing.

**Movie.**

**Anthony: (kicks the door open, goes in the building, shoots his guns randomly, knocks down a painting, and shoots at the ceiling) Gah! (doesn't talk for a second) CLEAR!**

"Every action movie ever." Yang said.

"He will die in reality." Blake said.

**Reality.**

**Anthony: (kicks the door and dislocates his leg) AHAHAHAH! Kicking sucks! (groans)**

Everyone laughed.

"He didn't even break the door!" Yang said while laughing.

"Are people on Earth that weak?" Ren said.

"Of course not, that was just comedy." Nova said.

**(sighs)Movie**

**Anthony: What do you say we uh, get it on?**

**Girl: (stands up) Frick yeah! (shoves the table cloth off the table, lies down, and kisses Anthony)**

"They're not that straight-forward!" Weiss said.

**(slurred)Reality**

**Anthony: What do you say we uh, get it on?**

**Girl: (stands up) Frick yeah! (shoves the table cloth off the table)**

**Anthony: (stands up) What the f**k?! Why just ruin all my stuff you dick?! You like it when I ruin your stuff?! (throws down the handbag) Huh, do you like it?! (beats the handbag with his hands; he then steps on the chair and steps on it repeatedly)**

Everyone laughed.

"Moment got ruined." Blake said while laughing.

"They're were about to do it on the table and he got upset for ruining the table! Who does that?" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**Moooovie.**

**Girl Anthony:(She tries to run to her car to escape from a scary clown)**

"Yes, scary movies!" Yang said.

**Girl Anthony: (As she gets in the car and grabs for her keys, she drops them and tries frantically to pick them up before the clown gets her)**

They already started laughing.

"This is so accurate!" Jaune said.

"The clown is still in the same spot!" Ruby said.

**Girl Anthony: (After she is finally able to grab the keys, she puts the ignition key in the ignition only to find that the engine won't turn over)**

"He's still there!" Ruby said while laughing.

"This is so stupid and clever at the same time." Weiss said.

**Girl Anthony: (She then crosses her fingers, prays, and tries to start the car again)**

"Is the clown part looped or he does it again and again?" Ruby said.

"It wolud be funnier if he did that so many times." Yang said.

**Girl Anthony: (This time, she is able to get the car to start; however by that point, she spotted the clown in the car that was sitting in the passenger seat; she got stabbed by the clown began stabbing her with his knife and screams) Ahahahah, my nipple hair!**

Everyone laughed and cringed at the nipple hair part.

"Thrillers are so cliché." Yang said.

**(slurred)Reality?**

"He sounds bored." Ruby said.

**Girl Anthony: (Gets in the car and puts the key in the ignition making the car start up) That was easy! Ha ha ha. (drives away)**

"I was expecting something funny, but that's more realistic." Yang said.

**Girl Anthony: (Drives around town and notices something) Oh wait! I'm a woman driver! (loses control of the car) AHAHAHAH! (crashes)**

Everyone laughed.

"That was so terrible!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"But why is it so funny?" Blake said while laughing.

**MOOOVIE!**

**Girl: Help!**

**Anthony: (pops up from a table) Don't worry, I'll save you!**

**Ian: Fire!(Ian and his men tried firing at Anthony repeatedly, but they miss him)**

"Oh my god, that's so true!" Ruby said while laughing.

"The protagonist has plot armor." Nova said.

"He's picking his nose! This is so stupid." Weiss said.

**Ian: (holding his gun upside down)Bam bam, bam bam bam bam!(Anthony shoots down Ian and his men with one shot each)**

"Wow, who could expect that?" Blake said sarcastically.

**Girl: Are you okay?!**

**Anthony: Pfft, who cares? Let's just go do that sex scene.**

**Girl:(smiles) Mmm.**

"Everyone watches it for the sex scene. It's always the sex scene!" Weiss said.

**(very slurred) Real- I don't even know how to even spell it.**

**Girl: Help!**

"He will die, no doubt." Yang said.

**Anthony: (pops up from a table) Don't worry, I'll save you! (gets repeatedly shot by Ian and his men)**

This got a few laughs.

"That's all folks! The movie is over!" Nova said.

**Girl: Are you okay? (waits for a response) I think he's okay.**

**God. Movie!**

**Ian:(the ticker counts down starting from eighteen seconds) Which one is it? Is it-Augh! Oh what is it? Oh god! The green wire? No no no. (mumbles) The white wire? No no no no no. Wait, I think it's the blue wire. (grunts for a second and then cuts the blue wire which deactivates the bomb before it explodes) I guess you could say when it comes to diffusing explosives, I'm (puts on sunglasses) the bomb.**

**(shows a city) Yeahahahahahah!(electric guitar music at background).**

"I bet the bomb will blow up." Ruby said.

"Totally." Yang said.

"Or it will be a professional who will defuse it." Weiss said.

"Yeah, for a professional, it will be easier." Pyrrha said.

**(very slurred)Reality...**

**Ian: Ha, this will be a piece of cake. (cuts the wire that connects to the lamp) What the? (finds the wire's source)**

"You can't be serious." Blake said and started laughing.

**Ian: Oh FUUUUUUUUUdge (takes out a brownie) brownies!**

"I like brownies." Ruby said.

**(shows a city) Yeahahahahahah!(the city explodes)**

Everyone laughed.

"The city blew up!" Ruby said while laughing.

"And the music in the background!" Yang said while laughing

**Anthony: (takes out the VHS tape) So, what did you think of the video?**

**Ian: Yeah mom, what did you think?**

**Ian's mom: I thought it was a really good effort, and you both should keep up the good work.**

**Anthony: Oh oh oh, (yells quietly) yay!**

"It's a movie, isn't it?" Blake said.

**(slurred)Reality**

"Really? But it was so nice!" Ruby said.

"Yeah, but also cliché and fake, like all kid's movies." Jaune said.

**Anthony: So, what did you think of the video?**

**Ian's mom: (takes the VHS tape) That f***ing sucked! (throws the tape down and steps on it repeatedly)**

Everyone laughed.

"That was very extreme!" Blake said while laughing.

"What kind of mom does that?" Weiss said.

"Ian's mom." Nova said. "Now to find something else."

**And done! Next chapter will be a Sr. Pelo video again. And I won't make them watch historical videos, because Nova kinda changed history in his universe. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	25. Kirby Star Allies - Making Friends

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 24:**** Kirby Star Allies - Making friends**

"I don't know what else to watch. Hmm... Let's just watch more Pelo." Nova said.

"Is it another discussion?" Jaune said.

"No. Girls, prepare for the ultimate cuteness!"

"It can't be that cute." Weiss said.

**Kirby appears.**

"Ok, I take it back."

"Look at its tiny face!" Ruby said while holding her laughter.

"What is that?" Blake said.

"That's Kirby. A star warrior and the cutest character ever." Nova said.

"It looks like a pink marshmallow!" Nora said.

"Aww, it's cute." Pyrrha said.

**Kirby:(walks)(Green Greens)**

**Parasol Dee: Haii Kirby. Um... It is going to rain, and I'm just gonna tell you that you need-**

**Kirby: Poyo!(throws heart at Parasol Dee)**

Everyone got surprised and laughed.

"He threw a heart?" Yang said.

"Yes, and now they became friends." Nova said.

**Parasol Dee: Oh~.**

**Both: Hi!(walk)(Green Greens x2)**

"Yay, they're friends!" Ruby said.

**Thief: Hands in the air Kirby! Dis is a robbery! **

"Oh no!" Nora said.

**Kirby: (Realizes that he has no hands) Poyo!(throws heart)**

**Thief: Mmm~. I'm not a bad person.(all of them walk)(Green Greens againx3 send help)**

"More friends! I wish I could do that." Ruby said.

**Poppy bro jr: Hi Kirby! You wanna explode?(Kirby: Poyo!) You wanna explode!? Let's EXPLOOOOOOOO-(becomes ally) Mmm~.**

This got a few laughs.

"I love how they become good. It's so sweet!" Pyrrha said.

**All: (walk)(MUSICLAGWEENGWEENSAGAIN)**

**Evil artist: Hi, I'm an artist! **

"How is an artist an enemy?" Weiss said.

**Evil artist: Do you wanna hear about my COMMISSIONS?**

"Ohhh, I get it! Paid commissions!" Jaune said.

**Kirby:(le gasp)**

**Evil artist: Yes, and they're EXPENNNNNNSIVE!**

"(gasps) That is evil!" Nora said.

**Kirby: Poyo!(throws heart)(translation: Fuck your commissions)**

**Good artist: Free drawings for everyone!**

**All: (happy sounds)**

"They all look so happy!" Pyrrha said.

"Why do I think that something bad will happen?" Yang said.

"Yeah, it will happen." Blake said.

**Parasol Dee: (they look menacing) Yeah, yeah, yeah!(whimpering)**

"What is happening?" Ruby said.

**Kirby:(deadly voice) You're not my friend.**

**Parasol Dee: (reverse explodes)**

Everyone got shocked and some laughed.

"Nooo!" Pyrrha said.

"Poor umbrella creature." Nora said.

"Why did that happen?" Ruby said.

"Because in the game, you can't have more than three allies." Nova said.

"That wasn't funny!" Pyrrha said.

**All: (moar happy noises)**

**Dedede: HAI KORBI!**

**Kirby: (gasps)**

**Dedede: (menacing as shit laugh) S U P , ! (Kirby gets sexually assaulted)**

"Who is that?" Nora said.

"That's King Dedede. You can't call him an enemy but you also can't call him a great friend." Nova said.

"Poor Kirby, he's beaten up." Ruby said.

**Dedede: You see Kirbeh, I'm bettah than u. That's why I hav tis purpule heart 'n it's not pink like you so I'm better than youuuuuuu-(explodes into Buff Boi) (masculine moan + type 123 for hot bf)**

"What the hell? He became buff!" Yang said.

"The Buff Boi?" Blake read and everyone laughed.

**All: (sounds of absolute pain/fighting)**

**Buff boi: (groan and orgasm at the same time)**

Everyone laughed.

"That was loud!" Blake said.

"What happened?" Ruby said.

"Pain." Nova said.

**Dedede: UGH! Agh mah hed...**

**Kirby: Poyo!**

"I like how he talks!" Ruby said. "Poyo!"

**Dedede: So u r sayin tat mah heart possessed me, and nowwe need 2 be allies 2 destroy a giant bean tat is threatening our planet?**

**Kirby: (Kirby put that knife away) Poyo!**

Everyone laughed.

"Why is he holding a knife?! That's terrible!" Pyrrha said while holding her laughter.

"It's so funny!" Yang said while laughing.

**Dedede: Well Kourby of I'm gunna help u we're besf frwiends! (Kirby gets sexually abused again and becomes crap)**

"He became a pile of clay!" Nora said while laughing.

**Dedede: Are you going guys?**

**All: (teh happy noises continue)**

**Thief: (keeps cheering and they all look at him menacingly)**

"Oh no." Ruby said.

**Kirby: (deadly voice) You're not my friend.**

**Thief: (schlorp'd)**

**[After credits scene]**

**Kirby cuts Wispy Woods with an axe.**

**Wispy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-**

Everyone laughed.

"That was the cutest and most disturbing thing I've ever seen." Weiss said.

"I loved it!" Nora said.

"Kirby is so cute! I want to hug him!" Ruby said.

"Well, do it now!" Nova said, sticking his hand in a portal and throwing something at Ruby's face, making a squeaky sound. It fell on her hands and everyone saw that it was really Kirby.

"Hi~!" Kirby said. At first she freaked out because she was caught unprepared and accidentally dropped him down. Kirby was still happy though.

"Oh my god. HE'S SO CUTE!" Ruby said and hugged Kirby,making another squeak(expect a lot of squeaks). Kirby liked it and hugged back. All the girls got around and were like 'Aww'.

"He's so adorable! I want to hug him! Give him to me!" Weiss said and took Kirby from Ruby's hug and hugged him.

"Hey! I want a hug too!" Nora said.

"Yeah Weiss, give him to us!" Yang said.

"No, I don't want to!" Weiss said. The girls started arguing about taking Kirby.

"I don't like where this is going." Jaune said. The arguement got more intense, as they were taking Kirby from each others grasp. Kirby didn't understand what was happening.

"I think we should leave now." Ren said.

"Why?" Nova said.

"Because in any moment they're gonna start fighting." Jaune said.

"I think you're overreacting."

"Have you seen them pillow fighting?"

"No, have you?"

"That's not the point! We need to go!"

"Okay, let's go.". The boys left and locked the door. Nova then snapped his fingers and a small part of the wall turned into glass so they can watch what's happening. As soon as the boys left the girls started fighting. The boys could see them fighting in a cartoony smoke cloud, hearing cartoon sound effects. "Okay, this got serious.". Weiss managed to escape the smoke cloud. She summoned some glyphs and trapped everyone in iceblocks.

"Ha! Kirby is mine!" Weiss said. But someone else tried to take him. It was Blake. "What? How did you-"

"Shadow clone. Now give him to me!" Blake said.

"Never!". They were pulling Kirby towards them, making Kirby stretch like rubber. Meanwhile, without noticing, Yang was using her semblance to raise the temperature of her body to melt the ice. When it melted Yang went and pushed down Weiss and Blake.

"He's mine now!" Yang said and hugged Kirby. Kirby in return hugged her boobs. The boys outside couldn't believe it. They instantly got jealous.

"That lucky little shit!" Nova said. Kirby then got a smell of something. Something good. Something familiar. Something that made his stomach growl. Fruits. All of a sudden, Yang could only see darkness.

"(muffled) Hey, who turned off the lights?" she said. She then realised that her head was inside Kirby's mouth. Everyone got shocked with that. She then started running around in panic and screaming. "(muffled) GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! AAAAHHHH!". She stopped running and tried to get Kirby off her head, but Kirby's mouth was closed real tight. Nova then started laughing. The boys went quickly inside. Nova broke the iceblocks, releasing everyone else and Jaune and Ren, along with Weiss and Blake were helping Yang. But it was no use.

"We can't take him off!" Jaune said.

"Don't worry. It needs a trick. Watch." Nova said. He went and tickled Kirby. He found the chance and took him. Kirby, after all that, was still smiling.

"YOU LITTLE SHIT! I WILL-"

"Hey relax! It's just a baby!" Nova interrupted.

"WHAT?!" everyone said.

"A baby?!" Weiss said.

"Yes, a baby. Yang, what scent does your shampoo have?" Nova said.

"Strawberries."

"He did it because he smelled strawberries?!" Pyrrha said.

"Yes. Now Kirby, promise me that you will never try to eat my friends again." Nova said.

"Poyo." Kirby said.

"Good. Now say sorry to Yang."

"Poyo." Kirby said with a sad face. Yang couldn't be angry in front of that face.

"Aww, I can't stay mad at that face! This time I'll let it slide." Yang said and hugged Kirby again.

"Poyo! Poyo!"

"Awww!" everyone said.

"Wait, if he's a baby, how come he's a warrior?" Ren said.

"Oh, he's very strong. And he can copy abilities." Nova said.

"Oh, I want to see that!" Ruby said.

"Okay. Kirby, absorb her! Smash bros style!". Kirby then sucked Ruby inside. Ruby got out and fell. Everyone was shocked again.

"What the he-". Before she could finish he sentence, Ruby saw Kirby with her hair, a small red hood and a small Crescent Rose.

"Wow!" everyone said.

"That is so cool!" Ruby said.

"He can absorb people and take their powers.".

"That's amazing!" Blake said.

"And cute! Imagine all the hats he could wear!" Nora said.

"I know." Nova said. He then punched Kirby, squashing him and Kirby lost the new powers. "Okay, now I'll sent him back." He snapped his fingers and a portal opened. Kirby went inside saying goodbye to everyone in his language.

"It was funny though, that Kirby tried to eat Yang." Ruby said and everyone laughed.

'I shouldn't tell them what kind of monster Kirby is.' Nova thought.

"Ha, ha, ha. Really funny. Now I have to go, make my hair again." Yang said and went to the bathroom.

"This is going to take some time." Blake said.

"I can't believe characters like Kirby exist." Weiss said.

"Are we going to see more video game characters?" Ruby said.

"Who knows? Probably not." Nova said.

**And done! Who can stay mad at Kirby? Next up is another abridged series. Like, follow and review.**


	26. YGOTAS EP1 Redux

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes, offensive comments and grammar mistakes. (I never watched Yu-Gi-Oh!)**

**Chapter 25:**** YGOTAS EP1 (Redux)**

An hour later, Yang finally left the bathroom.

"That took a long time." Nova said.

"I know, it usually takes her half an hour." Ruby said.

"Well, I had to do it twice, because of Kirby saliva!" Yang said. "Anyway, what did I miss?"

"We watched PewDiePie play Minecraft." Nova said.

"Eh, whatever. From what I saw, it's not the kind of game I like."

"What's next Nova?" Pyrrha said.

"We could watch some Yu-Gi-Oh." Nova said.

"What is Yu-Gi-Oh!?" Blake said.

"It's an anime about a card game and pharaos."

"Let's watch it." Ruby said.

"Okay."

**(Intro)**

**YAMI: Yu-Gi-Oh! was filmed before a live studio audience.**

"Great start." Yang said.

"It's a parody?" Jaune said.

"Yes, and it's a remake." Nova said.

"That voice sounded familiar." Blake said.

"LittleKuriboh did the narrator in DBZ Abridged, and Frieza in the future."

"He's a member of Teamfourstar?" Ruby said.

"I don't think so."

**(School)**

**YUGI: Hey Joey! Earth to Joey! Hey, are you in there? It's your move!**

**JOEY: Sorry, Yug, doing this Brooklyn accent makes it difficult to concentrate on card games.**

"Brooklyn?" Ruby said.

"An area in New York." Nova said.

**TRISTAN: I know what you mean, my voice is pretty crazy too! I'm thinking about changing it.**

This got a few laughs.

"You should!" Yang said.

"He sounds very stupid." Ruby said laughing.

**YUGI: By the way, my grandpa has a super rare card.**

**TRISTAN: Groovy!**

**JOEY: Hey, bada-bing!**

"Groovy?" Blake said.

"What reaction is _hey, bada-bing_?" Weiss said.

**KAIBA: (thinking) Rare card? That sounds vague enough to be the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. And since I'm a child billionaire in charge of a huge gaming company, I obviously have nothing better to do than go check it out.**

"Oh, the rich boy rival trope." Jaune said.

"In charge? What about his parents?" Weiss said.

"He's an orphan." Nova said.

"That must be difficult." Pyrrha said.

"Actually not. I knew kids that are orphans and are in charge of companies and their lifes are easy." Weiss said.

**(Title sequence)**

**(Game shop)**

**YUGI: Hey Gramps, can we please see your super-rare-awesome-chocolaty-fudge-coated-mega-super-card?**

This got a few laughs.

"What?" Blake said.

"He forgot the sprinkles and the cherry on top. Without those, it's not that good." Ruby said.

**GRANDPA: I don't see why not. Here it is, the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. (holds up the card)**

**JOEY: That's the least threatening name for a monster I've ever heard. What kind of mook could want a card like that?**

"Probably a lot of nerds." Yang said.

**KAIBA: (pushes the others aside) I'm here for your Blue-Eyes, old man, and I won't take "no" for an answer! Now give it to me!**

**GRANDPA: No!**

**KAIBA: Curses, foiled again!**

Everyone laughed.

"Why was that funny?" Blake said.

"Now his evil plan won't work." Ruby said.

**KAIBA: I'm going to go hire some thugs to kidnap you now. I'm a billionaire, so nobody will even think about pressing charges. (leaves)**

"Just because he's rich?" Ruby said.

"That's actually true for people in Atlas." Weiss said.

"Including your father?" Blake said.

"Unfortunately."

"Man, he needs to find a girlfriend." Yang said.

**GRANDPA: That Kaiba kid needs to get laid.**

**TRISTAN: Big time!**

Everyone laughed.

**(Later)**

**YUGI: (on the phone) Hello, Game shop!**

**KAIBA: (on the phone) I kidnapped your grandpa, Yugi, and then I dueled him into submission. So could you get over here and call an ambulance for him? I have far too much money to be expected to do it myself. (hangs up)**

"Kaiba is a dick." Yang said.

"Why do his eyes look dead?" Ren said.

"They do look dead!" Blake said.

"Probably an artistic touch." Nova said.

**YUGI: Wait, who is this?**

Everyone laughed.

"Who else?" Yang said.

**(Kaiba's Duel Arena)**

**YUGI: (runs over to injured Grandpa) Grandpa! Are you okay?**

"How can someone get injured by playing a card game?" Weiss said.

"And enough to end up in the hospital?" Ruby said.

**GRANDPA: For some reason, playing a card game has caused me to become severely injured.**

"Exactly!" Weiss said.

**KAIBA: That's right! And now, watch this! (tears Blue-Eyes card in half)**

"Why did he do that? He could have just taken it!" Ruby said.

**YUGI: Grandpa's special super-rare-awesome-super-card!**

**JOEY: What the heck did you do that for?**

**KAIBA: So that it could never be used against me!**

"That's... actually a good thought." Weiss said.

"Then why not destroy all the cards?" Jaune said.

**YUGI: In that case, why not just tear up every card in the whole world?**

"Exactly!"

**KAIBA: (quickly) Shut up and duel me!**

Everyone laughed.

"That's not a good excuse." Blake said.

**YUGI: Don't worry, Gramps, I'll win this duel with your deck!**

"Is he going to ignore the fact that his grandfather got injured?" Weiss said. "This show is stupid."

**GRANDPA: W-Wait a minute! I've been injured, so you're going to steal my deck and go play cards with your arch rival?**

"Okay, the show it's either reading our thoughts or it's common sense." Yang said.

"It's common sense." Blake said.

**YUGI: (takes Grandpa's deck) Pretty much.**

**GRANDPA: No wonder your parents are never around!**

That line shocked them.

"I can't believe he said that!" Blake said and started laughing.

**TÉA: (holding a marker) Gather round everyone, and I'll mark us with a special sign! (draws a smiley face on her, Yugi's, Joey's, and Tristan's hands)**

"That's really sweet!" Pyrrha said.

"We should do that! Make a sign that will remind us our friendship." Ruby said.

"That's really nice of you!" Nova said.

**JOEY: Uh, Téa, hey, not for nothing but...ain't this permanent marker?**

**TÉA: Oh... Whoops!**

"Why does she carry a marker?" Blake said.

**JOEY: Why were you even carrying that thing around in the first place?**

**TÉA: I'm a kleptomaniac, I stole it from school.**

**TRISTAN: Hey, my wallet's missing!**

Everyone laughed.

"That voice is so silly!" Nora said.

**TÉA: (points to Kaiba) Kaiba took it!**

**YAMI: It's time to duel!**

"Woah, what happened to his voice?" Ruby said.

"Did his balls just drop?" Yang said.

**KAIBA: Wait, did your testicles just drop in the last five seconds or something? What the heck happened to your voice?**

Everyone laughed.

"He changed a lot! He became older and taller!" Weiss said.

"It's so strange!" Pyrrha said.

"Why did he changed?" Ruby said.

"Yugi shares his body with the soul of a pharaoh." Nova said.

"Like in Blake's book!" Ruby said.

"But without the erotica." Yang said.

"It's not erotica!" Blake said, blushing.

"But _Ninjas of love is_!"

"That's...can we watch the video now?"

"You're right, it's erotica." Nova said, reading the book.

"Hey! Give it back!"

"It's fucking bullshit!" Nova said throwing the book, but Blake caught it before it landed. "It's like _Fifty shades of Grey _but in Japan!"

"Fifty what?" Ruby said.

"It's a book that was so successful for some reason that it became a movie!"

"It was bad?" Jaune said.

"It's literal porn! And they made two sequels!"

"150 shades of grey!" Nora said.

"Blake, if you want, I could give you some hentai." Nova whispered.

"Later, when we'll be alone." Blake whispered back.

**(A hologram of Hitotsu-Me Giant appears in the middle of the duel field)**

"Is that a real monster?" Nora said.

**YAMI: Holy Ra, real monsters!**

**KAIBA: Actually, they're just super-advanced holograms created for the sole purpose of enriching the experience of a children's card game!**

"Who would waste so much money for that?!" Weiss said.

"Only Kaiba. He does that all the time." Nova said.

"Actually, he could take advantage of this and make more money."

**YAMI: Okay, seriously, you've got to be [bleep]ing kidding me. Who wastes all their money on something like that?**

**KAIBA: The guy who's going to beat your pasty pharaoh butt with three Blue-Eyes White Dragons, that's who! (summons three Blue-Eyes White Dragons)**

"Wow, the dragons look so cool!" Ruby said.

**YAMI: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?**

**KAIBA: Yeah, so?**

**YAMI: That's against the rules, isn't it?**

**KAIBA: Screw the rules, I have money!**

Everyone laughed.

"Apparently, whoever has money can do everything." Blake said.

"I bet Weiss would be the queen of the school, just because she has money." Yang said.

"I would totally be." Weiss said.

**KAIBA: Now draw your last pathetic card, Yugi, so I can finish you!**

**YAMI: My Grandpa's deck has no pathetic cards, Kaiba. Except maybe for Kuriboh... but it also has this! (holds up Exodia the Forbidden One card) The unstoppable Exodia!**

**KAIBA: Aah! Exodia! It's not possible! Nobody's ever been able to summon him!**

"Best acting ever." Yang said.

**YAMI: Really? Is that because it's so rare?**

**KAIBA: No, it's because this game makes no sense. Nobody could figure out how to do it.**

"It's true, games like that are difficult to understand." Ruby said.

"Why does he look a little dehydrated?" Jaune said.

**YAMI: Nobody except me! Exodia, obliterate!**

**(Exodia destroys Blue-Eyes White Dragons)**

**MOKUBA: Big brother, is it time for my cameo yet?**

Everyone laughed.

"Who is that?" Pyrrha said.

"That's Mokuba, Kaiba's brother." Nova said.

**KAIBA: How... How could you summon Exodia?**

**YAMI: Kaiba, if you really wish to know...then talk to the hand! (mind-crushes Kaiba)**

**KAIBA: Aaaaahhh! (faints)**

Everyone laughed.

"What was that?" Blake said.

"The acting though." Yang said.

"Talk to the hand!" Ruby repeated.

"How did he do that?" Jaune said.

"Well, if you want to know, then talk to the hand!" Nova said.

"Hey hand, how did he do that?" Nora said to the hand.

"How the fuck should I know?" the hand said with Kermit's voice.

**(Hospital)**

**GRANDPA: (wakes up) I wet myself.**

Everyone laughed.

"That was random." Yang said.

**(Pegasus's Castle)**

**HENCHMAN: Mr. Pegasus, sir, it seems the reigning Duel Monsters champion has been defeated by someone named Yugi. Also, it's time for your sponge bath.**

**PEGASUS: Mmm...**

"GAAAYYYYY!" Nova said.

"Okay, what is your problem with gay people?" Weiss said.

"I don't have any problem, they're weird. If a gay person hits on me, I'll punch him in the face and thank him for the complement, because that means that you're beautiful And don't let me start about those who change their gender!"

"They can be that terrible." Ruby said.

"What if one of your friends decided to change their gender, what would you do?"

"I guess that...it would be difficult to accept it but I would get used to it."

"At least in your world there's only _two _genders."

"There are more than two genders on Earth?" Yang said.

"No, but there are retards that believe that, like both genders into one, no gender, combat helicopters and etc."

"What was the last one?" Ruby said.

**("I'm Back!" (Kaiba Theme) plays)**

**CAPTIONS:**

**[ever feel like you're experiencing deja vu?]**

**[well at least I didn't make greedo shoot first]**

**(Stinger)**

**YUGI: (with Master Shake's voice) Hey hey, fun time! Goofin' off Martian style, wakka wakka!**

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

**(Post-ending:)**

**YAMI: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?**

**KAIBA: Yeah, so?**

**YAMI: That's against the rules, isn't it?**

**KAIBA: Yes it is. (giggles) **

This got a few laughs.

"Alright, what should we watch next?" Nova said.

**And done! Next up is Hellsing Abridged. Like, follow and review. See you soon! **


	27. Hellsing Ultimate Abridged EP1

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes. Make sure to read the stuff after the chapter.**

**Chapter 26:**** Hellsing Ultimate Abridged EP1**

"How about we watch some more Teamfourstar?" Nova said. They didn't have a problem.

"Alright then."

**NARRATOR: This is a story, of a world of adventure; a sea, full of excitement; and a man, full of dreams, and a passion that seeks to drive him to the top!**

"I love this already! It looks like a good show!" Ruby said.

"Prepare to be surprised." Nova said.

**LUFFY: My name is Monkey D. Luffy, and I'm gonna be king of the-**

**(TV static, the channel changes)**

"Oh my god!" Pyrrha said when she saw the corpse.

"That is very brutal." Blake said.

"I don't want to see it." Ruby said.

"It has nice animation though." Jaune said.

**BELLA: Oh, yes! I love you, Edward.**

**EDWARD: And I love you, Bella.**

"Is he going to kill her?" Ruby said.

**(knocks)**

**EDWARD: Hold on. Who is it?**

**ALUCARD: (offscreen) Oh, you know... (appears, shoots Edward) A real fucking vampire.**

**(title sequence)**

"That...was...AWESOME!" Nora said.

"I know!" Yang said.

"There was so much blood." Weiss said.

"Did you see how fast he was pulling the trigger? It was like a machine gun!" Ruby said.

"What is a vampire?" Ren said.

"It's a mythical monster. A vampire is stronger and faster than a human, it can turn into a bat, and they feed with blood. They can turn you into vampires by sucking your blood. They are immortal beings." Nova said.

"People from Earth have a big imagination." Weiss said.

"I can't wait to watch it." Yang said.

**ALUCARD: Hey, Police Girl. Do you have the target?**

**POLICE GIRL: Okay, Master, my name is Seras. And yes, I have the target in sight.**

"What are they doing?" Ren said.

"They're killing undead monsters, like zombies, ghouls, even vampires." Nova said.

"That's the best job ever." Yang said.

**ALUCARD: Well, better take the shot, you're letting her get away.**

"A sniper needs concentration before he takes the shot." Ruby said

**POLICE GIRL: If you just give me a second to concentrate, I could-**

**ALUCARD: She's getting away. She's running!**

**POLICE GIRL: I get it! I'm loading up the-**

"Is she a vampire too?" Jaune said.

"Yes." Nova said.

**ALUCARD: Going to miss it. Going to miss it!**

"He teases her while she's targeting? You can already tell that he's an asshole." Blake said.

**POLICE GIRL: Just be quiet and let me-!**

**ALUCARD: Hey, Police Girl! Hey! Hey, Police Girl!**

This got a few laughs.

**(Police Girl shoots Bella)**

"So much blood! That much blood is unnecessary!" Pyrrha said.

**POLICE GIRL: THERE! I TOOK THE FUCKING SHOT! SHE'S DEAD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!**

**ALUCARD: Oh, you are just a treat.**

Everyone laughed.

"Why men always find teasing a woman funny?" Weiss said.

"Because it is funny." Nova said.

**CAPTION: One Week Earlier**

**ALUCARD: (voiceover) Now I know what you're thinking: "How did all this come about?" Well, it all started in a midnight stroll through the woods. The air was clear, the moon was fiull, I was dying to sink my teeth into something. Get it? Because I'm a vampire... mwahahaha- it's funny.**

Everyone just groaned.

"It had potential but no." Yang said.

**PRIEST: So, you came. Too bad you're far too late.**

**ALUCARD: What?**

**PRIEST: Everyone else is already dead. Except for this little tart. (holds Police Girl) But trust me, I still plan to kill her.**

**ALUCARD: Mmm-hm.**

"Does he not care?" Jaune said.

"Why should he?" Blake said.

**PRIEST: But first... I'm going to rape her.**

**ALUCARD: Neat.**

"Neat? Neat?! Rape is not neat!" Weiss said.

**PRIEST: But before I can do any of that... I'm going to kill you!**

"Is it possible to kill a vampire?" Ren said.

"With a wooden stick through its heart, garlic, crosses and holy water." Nova said.

"Too religious." Yang said.

**ALUCARD: Oh? See, that would be intimidating if you were, (mockingly) well, intimidating.**

"BURN!" Nora and Yang said.

**PRIEST: Grr... are you mocking me?!**

**ALUCARD: Oh no, no, no no no no. Pffft, yeah.**

**(Shot through the heart)**

"WOW!" Yang said.

"I didn't expect that!" Pyrrha said.

"He killed them both!" Ruby said.

"You have to admit though, that was cool." Yang said.

**ALUCARD: Well, that should about wrap things up here.**

**(Police Girl dying with a hole in her chest)**

"She's still alive?" Weiss said.

**ALUCARD: Oh, yeah, forgot about you. Sorry about that whole "shooting you" thing, but I know if you look deep into your heart - which is currently all over that tree - you'll find a way to forgive me.**

This got a few laughs.

"The heart is on the left, not the right." Weiss said.

"If the edited it, like put it in a mirror view, it would be better." Jaune said.

**POLICE GIRL: (Still choking to death)**

**ALUCARD: Oh, jeez, you look like a puppy. A blonde, eviscerated puppy!**

"This is so sad to watch. Him, not caring about her and her slowly dying." Pyrrha said.

**POLICE GIRL: Ugggh, gg, gh...**

**ALUCARD: Christ, fine, I'll help you! But only because you've got nice tits.**

"Of course we would have a sexist joke." Weiss said.

**(Scene change: Integra on the phone)**

**INTEGRA: So that's your field report?**

**ALUCARD: Yup.**

**INTEGRA: You went on a walk through the forest at midnight...**

**ALUCARD: Yup.**

**INTEGRA: You killed a homicidal vampire priest...**

**ALUCARD: Dead.**

**INTEGRA: And then you turned someone into a vampire... who happened to be a-**

**ALUCARD: (speaking along Integra) -big-titted police girl. Yes! It's like I didn't just get through explaining this! Now, if you don't mind... I've got things to do.**

"What a report." Weiss said sarcastically.

**INTEGRA: What "things"? You don't do "things".**

**ALUCARD: Yes I do. I take enthusiastic walks through the woods.**

**INTEGRA: And kill homicidal vampire priests.**

"That's very enthusiastic!" Yang said.

**ALUCARD: Very enthusiastic walks.**

Everyone laughed.

**CAPTION: One Week Later**

**INTEGRA: So that's your field report?**

"Again?" Blake said.

**ALUCARD: Yup.**

**INTEGRA: So you broke into the house...**

**ALUCARD: Yup.**

**INTEGRA: And you shot him thirty-six times...**

"It looked like more." Ruby said.

**ALUCARD: Thirty-seven.**

"It's very crucial information." Weiss said sarcastically.

**INTEGRA: And took out his partner.**

**ALUCARD: To be fair, that was the police girl. With the big titties**

This got a few laughs.

"Always the chest." Weiss said.

"I have a feeling that you're complaining." Yang said.

"Because I can't stand when men talk about tits!"

"Or because no one told anything nice about your tiny chest." Nova said.

"OOOOOHHHHHH! BUUURN!" Nora said.

"M-m-my chest is not tiny!" Weiss said with a blush.

"Yes it is. You're tiny." Nova said.

"I'm not tiny!" Weiss said, but she was chibi, for the visual joke. Everyone was laughing. "STOP LAUGHING!"

"Weiss, you're adorable!" Pyrrha said.

"I want to be tiny too!" Nora said.

"Okay then!" Nova said and snapped his fingers. Everyone, including him, were chibi now.

"Yes! Look at me! I'm little Nora! I'm cute!"

"We're all little and cute!" Ruby said.

"The correct word is chibi." Nova said.

"That's great, but can you changes us back?" Blake said.

"After the video." Nova said.

**INTEGRA: You need to stop going on walks.**

**ALUCARD: And you need to hurry up and hook up some goddamn DSL in here.**

"DSL?" Ruby said.

"Phone connection. You don't know what DSL is?" Nova said.

"We have the Cross Continental Tower System." Weiss said.

"Tower?"

"Yes. Each kingdom has its own tower."

"That system has a massive flaw."

"Like what?" Blake said.

"What if one of the towers get destroyed?"

"Then all the towers stop wor- I see your point. But it's symbolic!" Weiss said.

"And fucking stupid! Use phone lines and sattelites!"

"We can't go to space." Jaune said.

"Man, your world is so advanced but at the same time it has flaws! At least you don't have environmental problems!"

"How bad is that?" Ruby said.

"On Earth global warming exists. The North Pole has melted! The climate changed! All the animals there have died! It rains at the biggest desert! That's how bad things are on Earth!"

"That's terrible!" Pyrrha said.

"And humans can't do that much."

"Can't you do something?" Ruby said.

"Oh I can! And I will!"

**INTEGRA: Ugh... listen. You have an assignment in Ireland.**

**ALUCARD: Ooh, I've never hunted down a leprechaun before. Do you think if I shoot it with my gun, Lucky Charms will explode everywhere?**

"What is-"

"Another mythical creature which is very naughty and has a pot of goal at the end of a rainbow." Nova interrupted Ruby.

"I wish creatures like that existed." Nora said.

**INTEGRA: Sweet Christ...! Just get to Ireland, kill the vampire who's taken over the hospital, and bring the police girl with you.**

"Why are they calling her police girl and not by their name? What was her name again?" Ruby said.

"I think it was Seras." Blake said.

"Because it's funny." Nova said.

**ALUCARD: Oh, come on, I have to bring her everywhere.**

**INTEGRA: Ah ah ah, none of the sass!**

**ALUCARD: Yes, Mooom~**

Everyone laughed.

"She ruined his fun!" Yang said.

**(Countryside)**

**CAPTION: Italy**

**ANDERSON: So what can I do for ya, Father O'mally'O'Connel'O'Carrol'O'Reilly'O'Brian'O'Sullivan... Ah-who is also Italian.**

"That's a big name!" Nora said.

"Also, I don't think it's Italian." Blake said.

**FATHER: Tell-a me, Anderson: What is your favorite thing to do?**

**ANDERSON: Spreading the word and love of Jesus Christ at the many people of the world. Teaching peace and love for all.**

"And killing vampires maybe?" Blake said.

"The best priest." Yang said.

**FATHER: And-a killing-a vampires?**

**ANDERSON: Ah, just try ta fuckin' stop me.**

**FATHER: And what about... Protestants?**

**ANDERSON: Second verse, same as the first. Now put me on a plane so I can put'em in a hearse!**

"Oh, sick rhyme." Nora said.

**(Scene: Ireland)**

**ALUCARD: (offscreen) Hey, Police Girl! Police Girl! This is awesome! You should totally join in. Seriously, there's like, forty zombies in here. Just one shot to the head and they explode! (gunshot) Just like House of the Dead, only like, a hundred times more awesome!**

Everyone laughed.

"She looks so bored!" Pyrrha said.

"Why is she outside though?" Ruby said.

"Yeah, killing zombies is fun!" Nora said.

"It's not fun!" Weiss said.

"It is fun." Yang said.

"Yeah, I have to agree, it looks fun." Blake said.

**POLICE GIRL: (entering) Ugh, fine! I'll shoot some of the rotten bastards. Can't be that much fun. (headshots a zombie) Oh fuck the hell, yes.(goes on a killing spree)**

"It seems that she likes it too much." Blake said.

"I think it's because she's a vampire." Ren said.

"Imagine Ruby like that." Nova said.

"That's impossible. She's not that kind of person." Yang said.

"Really? How many times did she and all of you enjoyed watching a monster die?"

"Okay, you have a point." Ruby said.

**ALUCARD: Sweet Black fucking Sabbath. If I wasn't holding off on that beast of a woman Integra, I'd fuck the red out of those eyes. **

"She's thirsty." Yang said.

"That's kinda sexy." Nova said and everyone looked at him. "Don't judge me."

**ALUCARD: (the police girl gets stabbed by a dozen bayonets) Well, kinda like that; only with less symbolism and more "my penis in your vagina".**

Everyone laughed.

"He's very straight-forward." Blake said.

"Is she okay?" Ruby said.

"She's a vampire, of course she's okay." Nova said.

**ALUCARD: (sniffs the air) Huh? Suddenly it reeks of hypocrisy in here. Oh, if it isn't the Catholic Church. And what's this? No little Timmy glued to your crotch. Progress!**

That last sentence surprised everyone.

"Oh, that's so true." Nova said while laughing.

"What?! That's sick!" Weiss said.

**ANDERSON: Ah, look at what we have here... a bloody heathen!**

**ALUCARD: Excuse me, but I'm a fuckmothering vampire! I killed a lot of people to get this title! I deserve to be called such.**

**ANDERSON: Well then, mind if I ask you your name?**

**ALUCARD: Only if you give yours first, papist.**

"Papist? But that's not-"

"He's a rapist." Yang said.

**ANDERSON: Fine, I'll give you the courtesy. The name's-!**

**(Scene change)**

**WALTER: Alexander Anderson.**

**INTEGRA: Oh, fuck all kinds of duck...!**

This got a few laughs.

"That's a weird curse." Nora said.

**(Scene change)**

**ANDERSON: You have been chosen to reveal my existence to the world! You will witness what happens here today, and you will tell of it later. (Smacks blades together) Except you won't... 'cuz I'll have killed ya! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha...!**

"That was a good speech." Jaune said.

"He probably stole it." Blake said.

**ALUCARD: Oh my! Brilliant speech. And unoriginal. That's totally from Boondock Saints.**

"Told you."

**ANDERSON: What? No it isn't. I came up with it a week ago!**

**ALUCARD: Whatever. We're here for the vampire.**

**ANDERSON: The only one left here is your sorry pale arse.**

**POLICE GIRL: (Choking)**

**ALUCARD: Yeah, yeah, gimme a minute.**

Everyone laughed.

"Poor police girl. She's suffering." Ruby said.

**ALUCARD: (To Anderson) So what do you want anyway? The nearest elementary school is at least 10 kilometers away.**

"I don't like pedophilic jokes." Weiss said.

"Nobody likes them." Blake said.

**ANDERSON: It is your corrupt acclaim! It is your evil that will be sought by me with every breath!**

"That sounded cool!" Ruby said.

"That's probably taken too." Blake said.

**ALUCARD: Boondock... Saints! Seriously, you must watch that movie religiously! (Chuckles) Get it?**

Only Yang laughed with that.

**ANDERSON: Okay, you know what? Fuck it. Knife.**

**ALUCARD: "Knife"? (Gets stabbed) Huuaah...!**

Everyone got surprised by the attack.

**POLICE GIRL: Master!**

**ALUCARD: Boom. (Shoots Anderson) Headshot. **

"That guy is very cool! What's his name again?" Yang said.

"Alucard." Nova said.

**ALUCARD: Well, now that that's over, how about we go back to my place for a bowl of my favorite cereal, "Count Choc-"**

**(Anderson decapitates him)**

**[DECAPITATION!]**

Everyone stayed with open mouths.

**POLICE GIRL: Master!**

"He's alive?! But he got shot in the head!" Ruby said.

"Maybe he's undead too." Ren said.

**ANDERSON: Well, now that that's over, how about we go back to my place for a bowl of my favorite cereal, "Frankenber-"**

**(Finds Police Girl and Alucard's head have disappeared)**

**ANDERSON: Son of a Protestant whore! Well, you know what time it is.**

**CAPTION: (Anderson wields blades) RAPE**

"Holy crap!" Yang said and laughed.

**(Scene change - Police Girl is carrying Alucard's head)**

**POLICE GIRL: See? This kind of shit is why I stopped going to church.**

**ALUCARD: (Attempting telepathy) Police Girl... Poliiice Girl... You are reading your master's mind. Put my head between your boooobs.**

This got a few laughs.

"You're kidding me." Weiss said.

**POLICE GIRL: Now I'm all alone... the only one I had left was you.**

"She did it!" Yang said and laughed

**ALUCARD: (Attempting telepathy) Very good! Now the next thing I want you to do is put me between your legs!**

"Why are his thoughts muffled?" Jaune said while laughing.

**(Stabbed by flying blade)**

**ALUCARD: (thinking) Goddammit!**

"Thank you!" Weiss said.

**ANDERSON: It's a shame for you lost your head**

**A careless vampire who wound up dead**

**You wore your sin like it was some kind of prize**

**Too many lies... Too many lies...**

"It's creepy when bad guys start rhyming." Ruby said.

**POLICE GIRL: (thinking) What do I do? What do I do!? I... I could try seducing him. Wait no, I'm not an eight year-old boy! SHIT!**

Everyone laughed.

"Okay, that was good." Weiss said.

**ANDERSON: Say your prayers, wee lass!**

**(Blades destroyed by gunfire)**

**INTEGRA: That girl belongs to me.**

"Sexy." Nova said.

"When a guy is gay it's gross, but when a girl is gay it's hot?!" Weiss said.

"Yes. And for you girls it's the opposite."

"No, it's just gross." Blake said.

**ANDERSON: Well, aren't you the naughty one!**

**INTEGRA: Don't make me shoot you in the fucking head!**

**ANDERSON: What the hell do you want you crazy Protestant bastard?**

This got a few laughs.

"It wasn't that funny, but the accent though!" Yang said.

**INTEGRA: I'm a woman.**

**ANDERSON: Call yourself whatever you want, you crazy Protestant bastard.**

Everyone laughed.

**INTEGRA: You do know this is a grave violation of our agreement.**

**ANDERSON: And what part would that be?**

**INTEGRA: The part where you're here... killing my men!**

**(Anderson kills her men)**

"That was awesome!" Nora ssaid.

**ANDERSON: I have no idea what you're on about! I'm just here doin' my job! Killin' vampires, an' werewolves, an' leprechauns. I never actually found one, but do ya think if I cut one open with ma knife, it would spill out Lucky Charms?!**

"Wh-"

"Cereal!" Nova interrupted Nora.

**INTEGRA: Just shut up! Where the hell is Alucard?!**

**ANDERSON: Oh, him? I killed him!**

**INTEGRA: Killed him?**

**ANDERSON: Cut off his bloody head!**

"He can't be dead. No protagonist have died in the first episode." Jaune said.

"Goku died in the second." Ruby said.

"Fifth actually, and it was Dragon Ball Z, not Dragon Ball." Nova said.

"There's a series before that? I thought the Z was to make the title cool!" Nora said.

**INTEGRA: Oh! Well, that's step one. What about two through ten?**

"Ten steps?!" Weiss said.

"It's not easy to kill a vampire like him." Nova said

**ANDERSON: (Seeing Alucard regenerate) Ah, Christ!**

**ALUCARD: You done goofed.**

"That was awesome!" Yang said.

**ANDERSON: How the blood-soaked Protestant hell did you do that?**

**ALUCARD: Fuck you, that's how.**

This got a few laughs.

**ANDERSON: You know what? I've had enough of this. To hell with all you dirty heathens!**

**ALUCARD: Eat me! Don't forget to write!**

"He's very salty." Yang said.

**POLICE GIRL: Oh... oh my God... We survived!**

**ALUCARD: Sooo...**

**INTEGRA: What?**

**ALUCARD: Do I get to go after him?**

**INTEGRA: No.**

**ALUCARD: Aww, come on!**

"Why not?" Nora said.

**INTEGRA: No, and that's final! We've got bigger things to worry about. Whoever's behind these vampire attacks, it has to be some kind of large organized group.**

**ALUCARD: Like the Nazis?**

"Who are the Nazis again?" Ruby said.

"The guys who started World War II." Nova said.

"Aren't they all dead or something?" Yang said.

"Well, neo-nazis and the KKK exist but they can't do shit now."

**INTEGRA: That would be retarded.**

**CAPTION: Meanwhile...**

**(Scene change)**

"Would you look at that. It was the Nazis." Weiss said sarcastically.

**MAJOR: Gentlemen... ve... are Nazis...**

This got a few laughs.

"The fact that it's Krillin's voice makes it funny." Pyrrha said.

**NAZIS: Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!**

**MAJOR: Und we... will have war~**

This got even more laughs.

**NAZIS: Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!**

**MAJOR: Und ve... U-UND VE...! ATCHUUH!**

**NAZIS: Gesundheit! Gesundheit! **

Everyone laughed.

"Oh man, that was priceless." Yang said.

"Nova, can you put something about music again?" Ruby said.

"Also, can you turn us back to normal?" Weiss said.

"Oh yeah, I forgot.". Nova snapped his fingers and turned them back to normal.

"Oh man, I liked being chibi." Nora said.

"Don't worry, I'll probably make you chibi again at some point."

"Yes!"

**And done! Next chapter will be music from everyones countries. But I want your help. Can you tell me in the review section which songs should I make them hear? I hope you can tell me, because I'll end up using **_**America fuck yeah**_** , Naruto and nazi music. Make sure to like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	28. Music around the world (sorta)

**Hey everyone. I asked you which songs I should make them hear, and the answers...were not what I wanted. I had to search for them for some countries. I couldn't find some translated lyrics though. I hope you like it and if you don't then...fuck you (laughs).**

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 27:**** Music around the world (sorta)**

"Okay, I don't know what else to watch." Nova said.

"How about some music?" Jaune said.

"Good idea."

"Oh, can we do what we did with Eurovision?" Ruby said.

"NO! I won't give my title!" Nora said.

"We won't play. We're just listen to music from around the world." Nova said.

"I hope you include all of our countries." Yang said.

"I will. Patriotic or popular?"

"Popular." everyone said.

"Okay. I'll start with America."

"Who's American again?" Ruby said.

"You are."

"Oh, right."

"And we are off to a good start. I need some space."

"For what?" Weiss said.

"To perform."

"Huh?" everyone said. Nova then snapped his fingers and teleported everyone to a dark empty space. They saw a big stage.

"What is happening?" Blake said. Nova snapped his fingers again and a light fell on him. They saw him wearing a very familiar outfit.

"No way." Yang said.

**BGM: Billie Jean**

Nova started dancing.(Imagine the performance in Munich 1997).

"He's such a show-off." Weiss said.

"Yeah, but you have to admit that he's good." Yang said.

Nova then started singing.

_"She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene_

_I said don't mind, but what do you mean, I am the one_

_Who will dance on the floor in the round_

_She said I am the one, who will dance on the floor in the round"_

"He has a good singing voice." Blake said.

_"She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene_

_Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one_

_Who will dance on the floor in the round_

_People always told me be careful of what you do_

_And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts_

_And mother always told me be careful of who you love_

_And be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth_

_Billie Jean is not my lover_

_She's just a girl who claims that I am the one_

_But the kid is not my son_

_She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son"_

Everybody was enjoying the show.

_"For forty days and forty nights_

_The law was on her side_

_But who can stand when she's in demand_

_Her schemes and plans_

_'Cause we danced on the floor in the round_

_So take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice_

_(Don't think twice, don't think twice)_

_She told my baby we'd danced till three, then she looked at me_

_Then showed a photo my baby cried his eyes were like mine (oh, no!)_

_'Cause we danced on the floor in the round, baby_

_People always told me be careful of what you do_

_And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts_

_She came and stood right by me_

_Just the smell of sweet perfume_

_This happened much too soon_

_She called me to her room_

_Billie Jean is not my lover_

_She's just a girl who claims that I am the one_

_But the kid is not my son_

_Billie Jean is not my lover_

_She's just a girl who claims that I am the one_

_But the kid is not my son_

_She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son_

Then the moonwalk part came and Nova did it perfectly. Everyone was yelling with excitement.

"Go Nova!" Ruby said.

_"She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son_

_Billie Jean is not my lover_

_She's just a girl who claims that I am the one_

_But the kid is not my son_

_She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son_

_She says I am the one,_

_(You know what you did, (she says he is my son)breaking my heart babe)_

_She says I am the one_

_Billie Jean is not my lover_

_Billie Jean is not my lover_

_Billie Jean is not my lover_

He moonwalked again and did a sideway moonwalk too and the kids went wild. The girls started acting like fangirls.

_"Billie Jean is not my lover_

_Billie Jean is not my lover_

_Billie Jean is not my lover"_

**End of BGM**

Nova bowed and everyone started applauding. Nova snapped his fingers and they returned to the dorm and Nova was wearing his casuals again.

"That was awesome!" Ruby said.

"I didn't know you were that good at dancing." Blake said.

"Are you kidding? I danced with Michael before." Nova said.

"You what?!" everyone said.

"Yeah! He is a good guy to hang out. Sometimes I visit him in heaven, along with other stars, like Elvis and John Lennon. But enough about me, let's put something else. Which country next? Hmm..."

"How about we go with our team's acronyms order?" Jaune said.

"Good idea. So the next one is...?"

"I am." Weiss said.

"Germany then. You're lucky. At first I would put something about nazis because those are famous."

"Please don't."

"But then I remembered this gem."

**BGM: Wind of change**

"Nice intro." Blake said.

_**I follow the Moskva**_

_**Down to Gorky Park**_

_**Listening to the wind of change**_

"Wait, why is it in English?" Jaune said.

"All Scorpions songs are in English." Nova said.

_**An August summer night**_

_**Soldiers passing by**_

_**Listening to the wind of change**_

"This song is really good." Blake said.

_**The world is closing in**_

_**Did you ever think**_

_**That we could be so close, like brothers**_

_**The future's in the air**_

_**I can feel it everywhere**_

_**Blowing with the wind of change**_

_**Take me to the magic of the moment**_

_**On a glory night**_

_**Where the children of tomorrow dream away (dream away)**_

_**In the wind of change**_

"Scorpions are the best." Nova said.

_**Walking down the street**_

_**Distant memories**_

_**Are buried in the past forever**_

_**I follow the Moskva**_

_**Down to Gorky Park**_

_**Listening to the wind of change**_

_**Take me to the magic of the moment**_

_**On a glory night**_

_**Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams (share their dreams)**_

_**With you and me**_

_**Take me to the magic of the moment**_

_**On a glory night (the glory night)**_

_**Where the children of tomorrow dream away (dream away)**_

_**In the wind of change (the wind of change)**_

_**The wind of change**_

_**Blows straight into the face of time**_

_**Like a stormwind that will ring the freedom bell**_

_**For peace of mind**_

_**Let your balalaika sing**_

_**What my guitar wants to say**_

_**Take me to the magic of the moment**_

_**On a glory night**_

_**Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams (share their dreams)**_

_**With you and me (with you and me)**_

_**Take me to the magic of the moment**_

_**On a glory night**_

_**Where the children of tomorrow dream away (dream away)**_

_**In the wind of change (in the wind of change)**_

**End of BGM**

"That song was amazing." Yang said.

"Is the song about war?" Ruby said.

"It's actually about the destruction of the wall of Berlin, which split the entire country in half." Nova said.

"I love when songs have a message." Blake said.

"I wish we could watch it live though." Ruby said.

"Alright then. Who's next?" Nova said.

"That would be me." Blake said.

"Oh, good old Italy. I have the perfect one. And with translated lyrics."

**BGM: L'Italiano**

_**Let me sing**_

_**with the guitar in hand**_

_**let me sing**_

_**I am an italian**_

"Their language sounds beautiful." Pyrrha said.

_**Good morning Italy of spaghetti "al dente" **_

_**and a partisan as a president**_

_**with the car radio always in the right hand**_

_**and a canary upon the window**_

_**Good morning Italy with your artists**_

_**with so many American posters**_

_**with the songs of love**_

_**with the heart**_

_**with always more women and less nuns**_

"Italy sounds like a very graphic place." Ren said.

"It is. I love going to countries like that. I always go to Italy, Greece and Spain, the Mediterrenean countries are very beautiful." Nova said.

"I wish we could go there." Weiss said.

"We'll go one day. I'm planning to take you on a world tour this summer."

"You will? That would be great!" Pyrrha said.

_**Good morning Italy**_

_**good morning Mary **_

_**with eyes full of melancholy**_

_**good morning God**_

_**you know I am here too.**_

"They must be very religious people." Jaune said.

_**Let me sing**_

_**with the guitar in hand**_

_**let me sing**_

_**a song slowly slowly**_

_**let me sing**_

_**because I am proud**_

_**I am an Italian**_

_**a true Italian.**_

"This is a nice song." Ruby said.

"I love the 80's." Nova said.

_**Good morning Italy who doesn't scare**_

_**with peppermint shaving cream**_

_**with a striped costume in blue**_

_**and the Sunday replays on TV**_

_**Good morning Italy with ristretto coffee **_

_**the new socks in the first drawer**_

_**with the flag in laundry **_

_**and a worned chassis 600 **_

_**Good morning Italy**_

_**good morning Mary **_

_**with eyes full of melancholy**_

_**good morning God**_

_**you know I am here too.**_

They were moving their heads in the rhythm.

_**Let me sing**_

_**with the guitar in hand**_

_**let me sing**_

_**a song slowly slowly**_

_**let me sing**_

_**because I am proud**_

_**I am an Italian**_

_**a true Italian.**_

_**(Instrumental)**_

_**Let me sing**_

_**with the guitar in hand**_

_**let me sing**_

_**a song slowly slowly**_

_**let me sing**_

_**because I am proud**_

_**I am an Italian**_

_**a true Italian.**_

**End of BGM**

"That was really nice." Pyrrha said.

"Who's next?" Nova said.

"That's me." Yang said.

"Okay, now we go to China. I never listened to chinese music so I'll put this."

**BGM: The moon represents my heart**

"Is that a love song?" Pyrrha said.

"Yes, the most popular chinese song." Nova said.

"Oh boy." Yang said bored.

"You don't sound very happy." Blake said.

"Well, you three had cool songs. Weiss had a rock song! What I have? A love song! I don't say that's it's bad, I was just expecting something cool."

_**You ask how deeply I love you**_

_**And just how great my love is**_

_**My affection is real**_

_**And my love is true**_

"It sounds beautiful." Ruby said.

"It has the perfect melody and the perfect singer. That is what makes a song really good." Weiss said.

_**The moon represents my heart**_

_**You ask how deeply I love you**_

_**And just how great my love is**_

_**My affection does not waver**_

_**And my love doesn't change**_

_**The moon represents my heart**_

While listening, Pyrrha rested her head on Jaune's shoulder. Jaune noticed and decided not to bother her. Nora also rested her head on Ren's shoulder.(Isn't that adorable?)

_**So soft was the kiss**_

_**That has moved my heart**_

_**Such a deep affection**_

_**Makes me long for you now**_

_**You ask how deeply I love you**_

_**And just how great my love is**_

_**Consider this**_

_**And look above**_

_**The moon represents my heart**_

_**[Instrumental]**_

_**So soft was the kiss**_

_**That has moved my heart**_

_**Such a deep affection**_

_**Makes me long for you now**_

_**You ask how deeply I love you**_

_**And just how great my love is**_

_**Consider this**_

_**And look above**_

_**The moon represents my heart**_

_**Consider this**_

_**And look above**_

_**The moon represents my heart**_

**End of BGM**

"Did you enjoy the song loverbirds?" Nova said teasing team JNPR. The girls immediately got off the boys' shoulders, blushing. Nova and team RWBY laughed with them. "I wish I could take a picture of you. Alright, who's next?"

"I guess it's me." Jaune said.

"Alright French boy. Here's a worldwide hit." Nova said with a french accent.

**BGM: Dernière danse**

_**Oh ma douce souffrance,**_

_**Pourquoi s'acharner tu recommences.**_

_**Je ne suis qu'un être sans importance,**_

_**Sans lui je suis un peu paro,**_

_**Je déambule seule dans le métro.**_

_**Une dernière danse,**_

_**Pour oublier ma peine immense.**_

_**Je veux m'enfuir, que tout recommence,**_

_**Oh, ma douce souffrance.**_

"Are there any translated lyrics?" Ruby said.

"I couldn't find any." Nova said.

"It's okay. The song sounds nice, we don't need to know what they say." Yang said.

_**Je remue le ciel, le jour, la nuit.**_

_**Je danse avec le vent, la pluie.**_

_**Un peu d'amour, un brin de miel**_

_**Et je danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse.**_

_**Et dans le bruit, je cours et j'ai peur.**_

_**Est-ce mon tour ?**_

_**Vient la douleur...**_

_**Dans tout Paris, je m'abandonne**_

_**Et je m'envole, vole, vole, vole, vole.**_

_**Que d'espérance...**_

_**Sur ce chemin en ton absence.**_

_**J'ai beau trimer, sans toi ma vie n'est qu'un décor qui brille, vide de sens.**_

_**Je remue le ciel, le jour, la nuit.**_

_**Je danse avec le vent, la pluie.**_

_**Un peu d'amour, un brin de miel**_

_**Et je danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse.**_

_**Et dans le bruit, je cours et j'ai peur**_

_**Est-ce mon tour ?**_

_**Vient la douleur...**_

_**Dans tout Paris, je m'abandonne**_

_**Et je m'envole, vole, vole, vole, vole.**_

_**Dans cette douce souffrance,**_

_**Dont j'ai payé toutes les offenses,**_

_**Écoute comme mon cœur est immense.**_

_**Je suis une enfant du monde.**_

_**Je remue le ciel, le jour, la nuit.**_

_**Je danse avec le vent, la pluie.**_

_**Un peu d'amour, un brin de miel**_

_**Et je danse, danse, danse, danse, danse, danse.**_

_**Et dans le bruit, je cours et j'ai peur.**_

_**Est-ce mon tour ?**_

_**Vient la douleur...**_

_**Dans tout Paris, je m'abandonne**_

_**Et je m'envole, vole, vole, vole, vole.**_

**End of BGM**

"The song was really good!" Weiss said.

"The singer also was great." Blake said.

"Now, who's-"

"Oh, oh, oh, it's me, it's me!" Nora interrupted Nova while raising her hand like a little kid.

"Okay, I'll put something we all know."

"We do?" Ruby said.

**BGM: Hard rock halleluijah**

"Yes!" Nora said.

"Ah, sweet!" Yang said.

_**Hard Rock Hallelujah!**_

_**Hard Rock Hallelujah!**_

_**Hard Rock Hallelujah!**_

_**Hard Rock Hallelujah!**_

"The best song ever!" Yang said.

_**The saints are crippled**_

_**On this sinners' night**_

_**Lost are the lambs with no guiding light**_

_**The walls come down like thunder**_

_**The rock's about to roll**_

_**It's the Arockalypse**_

_**Now bare your soul**_

_**A**__**ll we need is lightning**_

_**With power and might**_

_**Striking down the prophets of false**_

_**As the moon is rising**_

_**Give us the sign**_

_**Now let us rise up in awe**_

"Here it comes!" Nova said.

_**Rock 'n Roll angels bring thyn Hard Rock Hallelujah**_

_**Demons and angels all in one have arrived**_

_**Rock 'n Roll angels bring thyn Hard Rock Hallelujah**_

_**In God's creation supernatural high**_

Nora and Nova were banging their heads like rockstars.

_**The true believers**_

_**Thou shall be saved**_

_**Brothers and sisters, keep strong in the faith**_

_**On the day of Reckoning**_

_**It's who dares, wins**_

_**You will see the jokers soon'll be the new kings**_

_**All we need is lightning**_

_**With power and might**_

_**Striking down the prophets of false**_

_**As the moon is rising**_

_**Give us the sign**_

_**Now let us rise up in awe**_

Ruby and Yang started banging their heads too.

_**Rock 'n Roll angels bring that Hard Rock Hallelujah**_

_**Demons and angels all in one have arrived**_

_**Rock 'n Roll angels bring that Hard Rock Hallelujah**_

_**In God's creation supernatural high**_

_**Wings on my back**_

_**I got horns on my head**_

_**My fangs are sharp**_

_**And my eyes are red**_

_**Not quite an angel**_

_**Or the one that fell**_

_**Now choose to join us or go straight to Hell**_

_**Hard Rock Hallelujah!**_

_**Hard Rock Hallelujah!**_

_**Hard Rock Hallelujah!**_

_**Hard Rock Yeah!**_

_**Rock 'n Roll angels bring that Hard Rock Hallelujah**_

_**Demons and angels all in one have arrived**_

_**Rock 'n Roll angels bring that Hard Rock Hallelujah**_

_**In God's creation supernatural high**_

_**Rock 'n Roll angels bring that Hard Rock Hallelujah**_

_**Rock 'n Roll angels bring that Hard Rock Hallelujah**_

_**Hard Rock Hallelujah!**_

_**Hard Rock Hallelujah!**_

**End of BGM**

"Literally, the best song ever!" Nora said.

"Really epic." Yang said.

"Who's next?" Nova said.

"Oh, it's my turn." Pyrrha said.

"Ah, I love Greek music. So many good songs. I found one but I don't like how it sounds, so we'll listen to it live.". Nova snapped his fingers and teleported them to a place that looked like an old Greek nightclub.

"You'll sing again?" Jaune said.

"Yes. Hit it!". Nova, wearing a suit now, snapped his fingers and some musical instruments started floating and playing music.

**BGM: ****Αποψέ στις ακρογιαλιές**

"Nice intro." Ruby said.

"It already makes me want to stand up and dance." Blake said.

_Απόψε στις ακρογιαλιές_

_αντιλαλούν διπλοπενιές,_

(x2)_έλα κοντά μας φίλε να τα πιείς_

_κι απ' τα ωραία μας θα τρελαθείς._

(x2)_Έλα να νιώσεις πώς είν' η ζωή_

_κι όλα τα ωραία μέχρι το πρωί._

Everyone were clapping their hands to the rhythm.

_Κάτσε και γλέντησε με μας,_

_σεκλέτια διώχνει ο μπαγλαμάς,_

(x2)_κι αν έχεις πόνο μέσα στην καρδιά_

_θα τον ξεχάσεις με μια διπλοπενιά._

Nova then quickly grabbed Pyrrha's hand and they both started dancing.

(x2)_Έλα να νιώσεις πώς είν' η ζωή_

_κι όλα τα ωραία μέχρι το πρωί._

Nova went back to the stage and Pyrrha sat down.

_Κι εσένανε βρε γόησσα_

_εγώ σε παρηγόρησα,_

(x2)_κι αν είμαι τώρα ρέστος και ταπί_

_μ' ένα φιλί παρηγόρα με και συ._

Nova went and made everyone dance.

(x2)_Έλα να νιώσεις πώς είν' η ζωή_

_κι όλα τα ωραία μέχρι το πρωί._

**End of BGM**

"ΟΠΑ! HA HA HA!" Nova said and snapped his fingers to return.

"That was great!" Ruby said.

"The song was happy and upbeat!" Pyrrha said.

"That's Greek music. Who's next now?"

"It's me." Ren said.

"Yes, Japan! I know what I'm gonna put!"

**BGM: Silhouette**

"Wait, is that-"

"A song from Naruto? Yes." Nova interrupted Blake.

"Why that?" Yang said.

"Because everyone knows it."

"It has a nice intro though." Jaune said.

**Issee noo se de**

**Fumikomu goorurain**

**Bokura wa nanimo nanimo mada shiranu**

**Issen koete**

**Furikaeru to mou nai**

**Bokura wa nanimo nanimo mada shiranu**

**Udatte udatte udatteku**

**Kirameku ase ga koboreru no sa**

**Oboetenai koto mo**

**Takusan atta darou**

**Daremo kare mo shiruetto**

**Daiji ni shiteta mono**

**Wasureta furi wo shitanda yo**

**Nanimo nai yo waraeru sa**

**Issee noo de**

**Omoidasu shounen**

**Bokura wa nanimokamo hoshigatta**

**Wakatatteiru tte**

**Aa kidzuiteiru tte**

**Tokei no hari wa hibi wa tomaranai**

**Ubatte ubatte ubatteku**

**Nagareru toki to kioku**

**Tooku tooku tooku ni natte**

**Oboetenai koto mo**

**Takusan atta darou**

**Daremo kare mo shiruetto**

**Osorete marugoto**

**Shiranai furi wo shitanda yo**

**Nanimo nai yo waraeru sa**

**Hirari to hirari to matteru**

**Konoha no you ni yureru koto naku**

**Shousou nakusu sugoshiteitai yo**

**Oboetenai koto mo**

**Takusan atta kedo**

**Kitto zutto**

**Kawaranai mono ga aru koto wo**

**Oshietekureta anata wa**

**Kieru kieru shiruetto**

**Daiji ni shitai mono**

**Motte otona ni narunda**

**Donna toki mo hanasazu ni**

**Mamoritsudzukeyou**

**Soshitara itsu no hi ni ka**

**Nanimokamo waraeru sa**

**Hirari to hirari to matteru**

**Konoha ga tondeyuku**

**WO...**

**End of BGM**

"Did you chose this song ironically?" Weuss said.

"Yes and no. Nevertheless it was a good song. I think it's time to leave now. I have to be ready for my date with Sasha." Nova said.

"Is that your girlfriend's name?" Ruby said.

"Yes. See you later!"

"WAIT!" Ruby stopped Nova from leaving.

"What?"

"Aren't we all going to have our sign?"

"What sign?" Yang said.

"Something like the one in the Yu-Gi-Oh video. So we never forget each other."

"Aww, that's so sweet and innocent." Nova said, while messing Ruby's hair. "We already have it. Look on your right hand.". Everyone looked and saw the sign. It was their name's first letters and colours, but Nova's was with all the colours, like a rainbow. "It was the only thing I could think in that short period of time."

"It's great."

"Great. See you later.". And with that, he left.

**And done! You should listen to these songs. Next time they will go to New York. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	29. A night in the city 2

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammarmistakes.**

**Chapter 28:**** A night in the city 2**

Team RWBY was in their dorm. The girls didn't have anything to do because they did their homework. They were watching some memes, specifically the walking Furret meme.

"I don't get it. Why is that a meme?" Yang said. "It's just an animal, that walks and it has a happy music."

"I have no idea, but it's cute." Ruby said. Suddenly Nova appeared, but he was sad.

"Hey girls." Nova said.

"Hey Nova. Why are you sad?"

"Was the date horrible yesterday?" Yang said.

"No, it was great. Until her boyfriend came." Nova said.

"Her boyfriend?" Weiss said.

"Yeah, it turned out that she was using me to make him jealous."

"That's terrible! What did you do?" Ruby said.

"I talked to Death and we changed her fate. She will die in a car accident in...two hours.". That of course shocked the girls.

"What?! Why would you do this?!" Weiss said.

"She lied and played with my feelings. She can't stay unpunished."

"Yeah, but death? Isn't that extreme?" Yang said.

"Of course not! I'm the first son of God! That bitch should burn in Hell! And she will in one hour and 59 minutes."

"Can we change the conversation?" Blake said.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just sad."

"Do you want to watch this meme? Maybe it will make you feel better." Ruby said.

"Cone on, like if a meme will make him feel better after that." Weiss said. Nova saw the Furret meme and he was feeling better.

"I love this meme. I already feel better." Nova said. Weiss just facepalmed.

"Memes are powerful." Yang said.

"Never underestimate the power of memes. Well, are you ready kids?"

"For what?" Blake said.

"To go to Earth."

"You will take us to Earth?" Ruby said with excitement.

"Yes! To New York! The city that never sleeps. Call the others and get ready."

"On it!". Ruby then ran to call team JNPR. Later, everyone got ready.

"Are you ready guys?" Ruby said.

"I sure am!" Nora said.

"I can't believe we are going to Earth." Pyrrha said.

"We will visit another world!" Jaune said.

"I wonder how it is there." Ren said.

"Wait, you will come like that?" Nova said.

"Yes, why?" Weiss said.

"Okay, don't take this personally,but...you look like fucking weebs."

"What?!" Ruby said.

"You look like cosplayers. Let me help you.". Nova snapped his fingers and the kids were wearing something normal. "There."

"Does my ass look big with these jeans?" Blake said.

" C."

"Don't say that ever again."

"Jaune still wears the same." Weiss said.

"If he takes off his armor, he's fine.". Jaune took off his armor, but then everyone saw his shirt and started laughing.

"What?" Jaune said.

"That's a cute bunny." Nova said mockingly.

"It's Pumpkin Pete!"

"Why do you wear it?"

"Because I like it!"

"Whatever. Also, no weapons."

"Aww, why?!" Ruby and Nora said.

"Because it's illegal. Also some of you should dye your hair."

"I won't dye my hair." Yang said.

"Not you, you two." Nova said, pointing at Ruby and Weiss.

"Why us?" Weiss said.

"Because natural white hair and red tips are not normal. Actually natural white hair exist but still.". Nova snapped his fingers again and now Ruby's hair were with no red tips and Weiss had blond hair.

"Weiss doesn't look good with blond hair." Yang said.

"I almost forgot.". Nova then took off Weiss rubberband from her hair.

"I was wrong, she looks good."

"It's not my style but it's good." Weiss said.

"Now, eye color." Nova snapped his fingers and the everyone had normal eye colours.( I don't remember what eye colour most of them had and I'm too bored to search.). "Now we are ready."

"What about Blake? Her cat ears?"

"I still wear my bow. It works here, why not there?" Blake said.

"I don't know. No girl that wears black clothing would wear something cute as a cat ear bow." Nova said.

"Do you have any better ideas?"

"A beanie, but it's summer on Earth so no. Let's go!". Nova snapped his fingers and they left.

**BGM: Empire state of mind - Alicia Keys & Jay Z**

Nova and the kids went first for sightseeing. Ruby took selfies in front of all the landmarks like Town Square, the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State building, a hot dog stand. Later they stopped at a Starbucks to sit and chat.

**End of BGM**

"And that's how I got here." Nova said.

"So, you wanted to live by you own rules and your father let you take care of this universe?" Jaune said.

"Pretty much."

"You have the best father." Ruby said.

"I know.". Then the girl with the drinks came.

"Okay, three freddo espressos, four freddo cappuccinos, one with no caffeine and two chocolate milkshakes."

"Thanks."

"Why is mine with no caffeine?" Nora said.

"Do you remember what happened last time?" Ren said.

"Oh come on, I didn't do anything crazy."

"You broke my arm!" Jaune said.

"Nova, why did you order a milkshake?" Pyrrha said.

"I wanted something sweet and cold. Besides, milkshakes rock! Isn't that right Ruby?" Nova said.

"Heck yeah!" she said. Then they both did a fist bump.

"Are you jealous now?"

"Now I want a milkshake." Nora said.

"Nova, I noticed that they don't treat you like a god here." Blake said.

"Yeah, shouldn't they worship you?" Yang said.

"They don't know I look. Over the years I've taken a lot of forms. Now they know that I'm a rich boy because his father has a company.". Suddenly, an ambulance passed with high speeds.

"I wonder what happened." Ruby said.

"That was probably Sasha." Nova said.

"Nova, how many girlfriends you had?" Yang said.

"I lost count after a million."

"So many girlfriends." Jaune said.

"And dead bodies. Are you kids in a relationship?"

"Well, vomit boy was hitting on Weiss, and since then he's been in friendzone." Yang said.

"Stop calling me that!" Jaune said.

"Weiss? You have terrible taste." Nova said.

"Excuse me?! What's wrong with me?! Am I not beautiful?!" Weiss said.

"Tsundere girls are not my type."

"What is a tsundere?" Ruby said.

"It's japanese for short bitch. No offence.". And everyone started laughing.

"I'm very offended, you jerk!"

"See? But seriously, why don't you ask someone nicer?"

"I'm right here!"

"Like who?" Jaune said.

"How about your teammates? How about Pyrrha? She's perfect." Nova said, making Purrha blush.

"Pyrrha? We're just friends. Sure, she's my partner, she cares a lot about me and she's always by my side and we train together on the roof, but it's not like we have a close relationship, we are just good friends." Jaune said. Everyone else was like 'Are you fucking kidding me?'

'He just said how much she loves him' Nova thought. "Whatever, how about you Ren, how is your relationship with Nora?"

"What do you mean?" Ren said.

"I mean, being together for so long, would make you have a close relationship."

"What?! Noo. I mean, we've been together, but not together together, like boyfriend and girlfriend, but together like boy-friend and girl-friend, I mean friend boy and friend girl, a friend who is a boy and a friend who is a girl. You know, we're just friends." Nora said.

"She's a gem buddy, don't lose her." Nova said to Ren. "How about you girls?"

"I had one but I broke up with him while we...were stealing a train." Blake said.

"Was that train from my father's company?" Weiss said.

"...Yes."

"*sighs*"

"A cool way to break up." Nova said.

"What does he look like?" Ruby said.

"Do you remember when they were making fun of you and calling you Hot-Topic?" Blake said.

"Yeah?"

"Well, he's like a total edgelord."

"Wow, you have nice taste in men." Yang said.

"How about you Yang? Did you have any boyfriend or girlfriend?" Nova said.

"Well I...wait. How do you know I'm bisexual?"

"I guessed. 40% of all tomboys are not straight and the 10% of them are bisexual."

"Oh no. You said the word." Ruby said.

"What word?"

"Tomboy. Don't call me that ever again." Yang said angrily.

"Sorry, I didn't know it would trigger you."

"And actually, a lot of boys asked me for a date, but they only wanted me because of my chest."

"Obviously."

"Couldn't you just pick one?" Pyrrha said.

"I will pick the one that will laugh with my puns." Yang said.

"I see you ending up with eleven cats." Nova said and everyone laughed.

"Shut up."

"What about you Weiss? Did your prince ever come and save you from the dragon?"

"Ha ha, very funny. And no. My father was always making deals with some companies and their condition was to marry me with their kids." Weiss said.

"Really?" Pyrrha said.

"That still exists?! What kind of advanced world is that?!" Nova said

"A probably not so advanced as you think." Weiss said.

"Aren't you going to ask me about relationships?" Ruby said.

"No, because a relationship for you means lending your pencil to a boy at school, sitting next to each other at the cafeteria and drinking milk and holding hands after school.". Everyone started laughing.

"That would be adorable!" Pyrrha said.

"Stop it! And for your information a boy had a crush on me." Ruby said. All the girls were like 'oooooh'.

"Really? I don't remember it. Oh you mean that boy from two years ago?" Yang said.

"Yes. And it all got ruined when you came."

"What did she do?" Jaune said.

"I scared him a little." Yang said.

"A little? You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and you threatened him saying that you'll rip off his privates! He literally pissed himself!" Ruby said and Nova started laughing.

"And I got detention for the rest of the day."

"Isn't that cute? Sisterly love." Nova said.

"Exactly! I won't let any bad boy or loser hurt Ruby's feelings." Yang said, hugging Ruby.

"You know, I know you for two months and I already know your characters.(you know)"

"Really? Would you tell us, I'm curious." Weiss said.

"This will be embarrassing." Blake said.

"Ruby is the childish girl anime protagonist. The one that always thinks positive, wants to be friends with everyone, always happy innocent and care-free and cares about her friends." Nova said.

"Aww, thanks." Ruby said.

"You are good at reading people." Blake said.

"Thanks. Weiss is the rich tsundere with daddy issues." Nova said.

"I wouldn't except anything else from you." Weiss said.

"Blake is the lone wolf, or cat. The one that's always with her back turned from the others, that doesn't talk a lot, the bookworm, and the slightly horny."

"First of all, everyone is a little horny and second, I'm not that secluded."

"Maybe. Yang is the tom-(sees Yang's red eyes)-coolest of the team. The strongest, the wild, the soul of the party, the active volcano, that does stuff that boys do, like playng videogames, burping and farting.". Everyone burst out laughing and Yang became red from embarrassment.

"I don't fart!" she said. But everyone inside heard her and she sank in her chair. That made gang laugh even more.

"Please stop! I can't take it anymore!" Blake said while laughing.

"Oh man! That was priceless!' Jaune said.

"Now for your team." Nova said.

"Yeah, let's see how he will embarrass you!" Yang said.

"Bring it on!" Nora said.

"Okay, Jaune is like the normal loser anime protagonist. The guy who is pretty normal in comparison to his friend who are not normal. The guy who's life is a kick to the balls, and he knows that he will be a virgin for the rest of his life.". Nova said. Everyone was like 'OOOOOOOH!' and laughed, leaving Jaune totally defeated.

"Get roasted!" Yang said.

"Now Nora is the super energetic, random and happy girl. And when I say random, I mean it."

"Boop!". Nora booped Nova's nose. And what was his response?

"Beep!". Nova beeped her nose, leaving her speechless.

"What just happened?"

"Pyrrha is the most nicest person there is and I know what I just said was grammatically incorrect but she's that nice. Too nice actually. Too much that she will do the most embarrassing and sick things just to make her happy, like going as a cosplay in a anime convention, read an erotic fanfiction about her and say that she liked it without looking disturbed and etc."

"I would actually do that." Pyrrha said, a little embarrased.

"Lastly, Ren is the quiet one, the calm one, the serious of the bunch, the one that has a face for all his emotions and probably the badass one. Like Bruce Lee or Tenshinhan."

"You're almost on spot." he said.

After they finished their drinks, they asked for the check, Nova payed and they left.

"Well, I will never forget this night." Yang said.

"Me neither, I'm not that big of loser, am I?" Jaune said.

"No Jaune, you're not." Pyrrha said.

"Thanks Pyrrha, you always make me feel better." he said and Pyrrha smiled to his comment.

'How dense is that kid?!' Nova thought. "But it was a fun night.". Suddenly, a dog appeared out of nowhere and jumped on Ruby. It then started licking her face.

"Hey, stop that! That tickles!" Ruby said while laughing. The dog then left. But Ruby noticed that the dog stole her scroll. "Hey, come back! Give me back my scroll!". Ruby started chasing the dog.

"Ruby, wait for us!" Yang said and everyone followed Ruby. Ruby chased the dog in a dark alleyway. Ruby stopped as the dog went in the shadow, where his owner was.

"Good job Hector." the owner said. "Guys, look what Hector brought. A phone and new meat.". He got out of the shadow along with two other guys. "Don't try to run little girl.". The guys surrounded Ruby so she won't leave. She tried to take her scythe but remembered that she didn't had it.

'Oh no! What I'm gonna do now?' she thought. She went for a punch but the guy pushed her down.

"Grab her.". The other two guys grabbed her arms so she wont escape.

"Hey! Let me go!" she said while struggling to escape. All of them started hitting her. It didn't do anything to her because of her aura, but she couldn't stop them. They stopped hitting her and the guys holding her turned her around and bended her over. "Wait, what are you doing?! Stop! Help!". When the other guy was about to pull down her pants, a voice was heard.

"HEY!". The rapists heard it and saw a girl with long blond hair and a lot more kids. "Leave her alone!" she said, her eyes turned red.

"Yang!". The guys, for some reason let Ruby go. She ran to hug her, her face inside her boobs. "Thank goodness you're here! They were about to rape me!"

"Don't worry, I'm here now. Go to the others. I'm going to teach these guys a lesson.". Ruby ran to the others and hugged them. The guys tried to escape, but this alleyway was a dead end. "Does anyone else want to jump in?"

"No, they're all yours." Nova said.

"Good."

"What are you gonna do? Beat us up?" one of the guys said and the others laughed. He got instantly knocked out by one punch, shocking the others.

"I think we should wait for her somewhere else. This will get not family-friendly." Nova said.

"I agree, let's go." Weiss said and they left the alleyway. The rapists tried to run, but Yang grabbed one and threw him at the other, knocking him out. The guy that tried to rape Ruby crawled away but Yang got up to him.

"Please don't hurt me." he said.

"No." she said and stepped on his balls. He was screaming in pain as she was crushing his balls(Zarbon in the background: *moans*). After that he kicked him in the balls so hard he lost his senses. She then left the alleyway to meet the others. "That was dissapointingly short."

"At least it's over." Blake said.

"Ruby, you are acting pretty calm for someone who was about to get raped." Nova said.

"Well, I was freaked out, but everyday I fight monsters and bad guys that want to kill me, so I got over it." Ruby said.

"Well, even though being raped is worse than dying, I'm glad that you got over it so fast." Nova said, messing her hair, creating sparkles(magic). "Let's agree that this never happened."

"What happened?" Nora said.

"Exactly. I think it's time to go.". Nova snapped his fingers and they returned at Beacon and everyone was back to normal. "Next time, we'll go to the beach.".

"But it's Nov- oh right, it's summer on Earth." Ruby said.

"Well, it's time to go back. Goodnight everyone!"

"Goodnight!" everyone said to Nova and he left.

**And done! You probably didn't expect that last part. Next chapter will be DBZ Abridged. Like, follow and review. I'm waiting for the hate comments. See you soon!**


	30. DBZA EP5

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 29:**** DBZ Abridged EP5**

Nova was at his house playing one of his favourite mobile games, Nickelodeon's Super Brawl Universe. "Yay, Spongebob." he said. After the game, he went to take his daily dose. "Well, time for my daily dose.". He took the cocaine, cut it and sniffed it. "WOOO! THAT'S THE SHIT! Okay, I think I'm done. Let's see what the girls are up to.". He snapped his fingers and disappeared.

Meanwhile, team RWBY, especially Ruby, was watching TikTok compilations. Then suddenly Nova appeared. "Hey girls!" Nova said.

"Hey." Ruby said, not giving attention to him.

"What are you doing?"

"We are thinking what we've done wrong." Yang said.

"I don't get it."

"You shouldn't give us Youtube. It affected Ruby a lot." Blake said.

"How much?"

"Well..." Weiss said, having a flashback.

_Flashback_

Team Rwby was the cafeteria. Then team JNPR appeared too.

"Nora! _Hit or miss? I guess they never miss, huh? _" Ruby shouted.

"_You've got a boyfriend, I bet he doesn't kiss ya! _" Nora shouted back. Everyone was looking at them. The rest of the two teams sunk down at their seats embarrassed.

_End of flashback_

"That really happened?!" Nova said shocked.

"Not only that, she started doing some of the dances!" Weiss said.

_Flashback_

Ruby was watching TikTok compilations, and then a Rockefeller Street video started and Ruby started dancing.

_End of flashback_

"That wasn't that bad, but the hit or miss was bad." Nova said.

"What are we going to do?" Yang said.

"I know what to do.". Nova then pulled a golden Desert Eagle. "Don't look girls."

"NO!" the girls said as they were trying to stop him from shooting her. Meanwhile Ruby wasn't giving any attention.

"Are you crazy?!" Weiss said.

"It's too late for her! I have to stop her before the cringe spreads to all the 9 year old girls!" Nova said.

"Can't you just take the cringe from her?! You're a god!" Yang said.

"Oh, I didn't think of that. Good idea." Nova said, making the girls fall down, anime style. He snapped his fingers and the cringe disappeared from Ruby.

"Did it work?" Blake said. Ruby then turned around, finally giving attention.

"Hey Nova. I didn't know you were here." Ruby said. The girls sighed in relief.

"It worked." Yang said.

"What worked?"

"Nothing! How about we watch some Teamfourstar?" Nova said.

"Great! I'll get the others!" Ruby said and ran to call the others.

"Nova, you're a life saver." Yang said.

"More like an image saver." Weiss said.

"I can't believe that you tried to shoot her." Blake said.

"Sorry, it was probably the cocaine acting." Nova said.

"Oh, that makes sen- what?" Yang said.

Later, everyone sat down.

"Are you ready kids?" Nova said.

"Ay ay, captain!" Nora said.

"What?" Jaune said.

"I don't why I said that."

"Start the video!" Yang said.

"Okay." Nova said.

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(Scene opens up with a full view of Snake Way.)**

**NARRATOR: After endless running and detours, Goku has finally reached the end of Snake Way. How very convenient.**

"Shouldn't he reach it at some point?" Weiss said.

**(Goku looks up and notices a small planet in the sky)**

**GOKU: Oooooo! Oh wow, that must be King Kai's place! (jumps towards King Kai's planet) Woohooo... (begins falling towards the planet) ...aaaaaahhhhhh-**

**(Goku crashes onto the planet)**

Everyone cringed at the landing.

"He must have broken something after that fall." Jaune said.

**KING KAI: (offscreen) Nice job, jackass!**

This got a few laughs.

**GOKU: (in pain) Ow...**

**[OPENING SEQUENCE]**

"Sparking!" Ruby said.

"Huh?" Yang said.

"It's what the singer says."

**(Scene changes to outer space, where Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods are seen flying through space.)**

**NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back in the deep reaches of space...**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: (annoyed) No.**

"He is still going?!" Weiss said.

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: (becoming more annoyed) No!**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: (much more annoyed) NO!**

"This is getting annoying." Blake said.

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: (now very angry) NO!**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: (even angrier) NO!**

**NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.**

**VEGETA: (ready to snap) WHAT?!**

**NAPPA: (sees that they are approaching Planet Arlia) Can we stop at that bug planet?**

**VEGETA: (temper stabilized) Nappa, if it'll shut you up for five minutes then fine!**

"I like stories with world building." Jaune said.

"I know, showing more of the world the characters live in." Blake said.

**(scene shifts to Planet Arlia)**

**VEGETA: (looking at a floating debris) See? Look how fun this is.**

"Wow, little clouds, very fun." Yang said sarcastically.

**(Two Arlians riding on giant millipede-like steeds appear out of the ground)**

"That's so cool, they're riding giant bugs!" Nora said.

**NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta- the locals.**

**VEGETA: Seems they brought a welcome service.**

"They're going to kill them? But they didn't do anything." Pyrrha said.

"Yet." Nova said.

**NAPPA: You know, Vegeta, on some planets they really appreciate foreign commune. Really brings in the revenue. (One Arilan unsheathes their sword) They'll probably treat us like royalty, considering the-**

**(Arilans handcuff Nappa and locks Vegeta and Nappa in a cell)**

This got a few laughs.

"Or they'll put them in jail." Yang said.

**VEGETA: Well...**

**NAPPA: Yeah...**

**ARLIAN PRINCE: I see. You too have been imprisoned by our horrible fascist king.**

**(Arilan Prince continues to speaking unintelligibly offscreen while Vegeta and Nappa talk)**

**NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.**

**VEGETA: What is it?**

**NAPPA: We're in prison, Vegeta.**

**VEGETA: I see that, Nappa.**

"Where is this going?" Ruby said.

"I bet something about not dropping the soap." Yang said.

"Probably." Blake said.

**NAPPA: Hey.**

**VEGETA: What?**

**NAPPA: Don't drop the soap.**

"Godamnit." Weiss said.

"That was predictable."

**VEGETA: I swear to God, Nappa, I will shiv you.**

"Vegeta wants to kill him, I'm pretty sure." Yang said.

**(Scene changes to King Kai's planet)**

**NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on the Kai planet...**

**GOKU: So, you're King Kai.**

**KING KAI: That's right. I am the most superior martial artist in all of the galaxy-**

**GOKU: (notices Bubbles) Ooo, a monkey!**

"He has a pet monkey!" Ruby said.

"I want one too!" Nora said.

**KING KAI: Yes, this is my monkey, Bubbles. Say hello, Bubbles.**

**BUBBLES: (subtitled) You have come far, young warrior. Allow me to-**

**KING KAI: Alright, that's enough, Bubbles. Anyway, welcome to my planet.**

"But I wanted to hear more from the wise Bubbles."

**GOKU: (struggling to stand up) Man, I'm so heavy here!**

**KING KAI: Well, because of the small size of my planet, the gravity here is much more intense than that on Earth.**

"Is that how gravity works?" Ruby said.

"Yes, if you're closer to the core, the gravity is more intense." Nova said.

**GREGORY: (offscreen) That doesn't make any sense!**

**KING KAI: Shut up, Gregory! Alright, fine- how's this for a reason: I have an unbelievably powerful space pirate locked within the depths of my planet. That's why the gravity is so heavy here.**

"How does that makes the gravity intense?" Weiss said.

**BOJACK: (inside King Kai's Planet) Yarr! Get me out of here!**

"Is that how pirates talk? They sound funny." Ruby said.

**KING KAI: Shut up, Bojack! (stomps on the planet three times) Anyway, what are you here for?**

**GOKU: Oh! Well, King Kai, I need you to train me. (shows Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods flying in space) There's a terrible threat coming to our planet, and I'm its only hope. I'll do whatever it takes for you to train me, I'll withstand any test, I will try as hard as I have to, and I-**

**KING KAI: Sure.**

**GOKU: (dumbfounded) What?**

"Exactly, what? Not without a test?" Pyrrha said.

"In the original, Goku had to make him laugh with a joke." Nova said.

"I could make him laugh." Yang said.

"You wouldn't." Weiss said.

"She would. King Kai's jokes are terrible." Nova said.

**KING KAI: I'll train you.**

**GOKU: S-Seriously? I thought I'd have to do some kind of test.**

**KING KAI: Are you kidding me? The only company I've had for the last 500 years have been a disembodied pirate... (BOJACK: Yarr!) ...a monkey... (Bubbles screeches) ...and a grasshopper!**

"He looks more like a cricket." Ruby said.

**GREGORY: Actually, I'm a cricket.**

**KING KAI: Nobody cares!**

"That's mean."

**BUBBLES: (clapping his hands; subtitled) I care!**

**KING KAI: You tell him, Bubbles!**

Everyone laughed.

**GOKU: Wow, you're right. I can't imagine anything more boring than that.**

"Port's stories." Yang said.

"Who's stories?" Nova said.

"We have a teacher that tells stories about his "achievements"."

"And with the air quotes you mean they're fake?"

"I think some of them might be real, but most of them are definitely fake." Blake said.

"And all of them are so boring!" Ruby said.

"They're not boring." Weiss said.

"They kinda are." Pyrrha said.

"Stories are never boring, it's just the way you tell them." Blake said.

"Are the stories like super manly? Like, _so there I was back to back with Jesus! Machine gun in one hand, bible in the left, ready to bless these unholy thots with our divine sauce! _" Nova said and most of them laughed.

"They're exactly like that! Only that yours are more fun." Yang said.

**(scene shifts to Planet Namek)**

**NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on Namek...**

**(scene goes inside Guru's house, where there's a long silence and a splashing sound can be heard)**

"I'm already bored." Nora said.

"That alien is very fat." Ruby said.

"And he's obviously the same species with Piccolo." Ren said.

"That must be his home planet." Jaune said.

**GURU: Naaail. Naaaaail!**

This got a few laughs.

"I like his voice. _Naaaail! _" Ruby said.

**(Nail walks inside Guru's house and kneels)**

**NAIL: What is it, Lord Guru?**

"He looks exactly like Piccolo!"

**GURU: I saw a fish. That is all- you can go back outside now.**

"That's the most interesting thing on the planet?" Blake said.

"It's so boring I would kill myself!" Nora said.

**NAIL: (walks outside of Guru's house; thinking) Oh God, this is so horribly dull. I hope something exciting happens around here soon. I don't care what it is.**

**GURU: (offscreen) Naaaaail!**

"Another fish?" Yang said.

**NAIL: (sounding a bit annoyed) What?**

**GURU: (offscreen) I saw a bird. It was pretty. Kick its ass.**

Everyone laughed.

**(Nail groans in annoyance)**

"Poor Nail." Pyrrha said.

**(scene shifts to planet Arlia)**

**NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Arlia...**

"I forgot about the Saiyans." Jaune said.

**(scene goes to the Arlian prison cell, with the Arlian Prince still talking to Vegeta and Nappa)**

**ARLIAN PRINCE: As you can see, many questionable people have been locked away in here.**

**ARLIAN PRISONER: Welcome to Oz, bitch! That's right, (to Vegeta) you with the spiky hair, you're going to be my BITCH! **

"He's dead." Yang said while laughing.

**ARLAIN PRISONER: I'm going to sell you for a cigarette- but not before I violate you, because you're my BI-**

**(Scene cuts to the Arilan throne room)**

**ARLIAN KING: I love ruling this planet with an iron fist! Right, my quee- (throne room shakes as an explosion occurs offscreen) What in the great Arlian moon was that?**

**NAPPA: Hi!**

"Hi!" Nora said.

"You break into a castle and you say hi, what would they do?" Yang said.

"Shoot you right there." Blake said.

**ARLIAN KING: Who the f*** are you two?**

**NAPPA: Hi, I'm Nappa, and that's Vegeta. He was a prison bitch.**

Everyone laughed.

"Why would he say that?" Ruby said while laughing.

"If Vegeta kills him, which is totally going to happen, I bet he will enjoy it." Yang said.

**VEGETA: Shut the hell up, Nappa!**

**NAPPA: 'Kay.**

**VEGETA: Anyway, we're here because my partner's an idiot. Now that we've got introductions out of the way, I think I'll just kill you and-**

**NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.**

**VEGETA: Oh God, what now?**

**NAPPA: (notices Arlian Queen) I think that's their queen. I'm curious how they breed.**

"What?! Why would he think of that in a moment like that?!" Weiss said.

"I don't want to see that." Ruby said.

"No one wants to see two bug aliens having sex." Yangs said.

**VEGETA: Oh, goddammit, Nappa- that's disgusting! I say we just-**

**NAPPA: (To Arlians) Hey, you guys, breed for us!**

**ARLIAN KING: Why should we listen to you? (Arlians guards begin surrounding Vegeta and Nappa) You're surrounded by my thirteen elite... (Nappa kills guards with an explosion) ...dead guards. (to his wife) Well, you heard him, honey.**

"I can't believe they're doing it." Weiss said.

**NAPPA: They're not doing anything, they're just standing on top of each other and... (a snapping sound is heard while both Arlians start mating) Awww, there we go!**

"I think I'm gonna throw up." she said while holding her vomit.

"Me too. Just the sound is gross." Blake said.

**(Nappa takes his cell phone and takes a picture. Vegeta's cell phone vibrates, and he takes out his cell phone and sees the picture.)**

"Why would he take a picture of that?!" Jaune said.

"And why send it to Vegeta? He's literally next to him!" Yang said.

"Their phones look old." Ruby said.

**VEGETA: (disgusted from what he saw) Oh, goddammit, Nappa!**

This got a few laughs.

**(scene changes to Earth, on a barren wasteland)**

**NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Earth- Piccolo has finally begun his training with Gohan.**

"I wonder what his training is like." Pyrrha said.

**GOHAN: So, Mr. Piccolo, what are you gonna teach me today? A brand new technique? How to sense energy? What about how to fly-**

**PICCOLO: Dodge! (kicks Gohan)**

This got a few laughs.

"Lesson No.1: Dodge!" Yang said and laughed.

**(scene cuts to the barren wasteland at dusk, Gohan is seen injured, has a wart covering his right eye and is sweating)**

"He looks really bad." Ruby said.

"Training must be a torture for him." Ren said.

**GOHAN: (thinking) Oh man, this training with Mr. Piccolo is really difficult. But I think I'm finally getting the hang of it-**

**PICCOLO: DODGE!**

**GOHAN: What? (gets blasted at point-blank by Piccolo) WAAAAAAAAAAA-**

"No, Gohan!" Pyrrha said.

"He's only four!" Weiss said.

**(scene cuts to Piccolo and Gohan in the middle of the wasteland accompanied with a long silence)**

"Dodge?" Nora said.

**PICCOLO: (punches Gohan in the face) DOOOOOOODGE!**

**GOHAN: Aaaah!**

Everyone laughed.

**(scene shifts to the Hall of Justice)**

**NARRATOR: Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice...**

"What? That's from another show!" Ruby said.

"And a very old one." Jaune said.

**SUPERMAN: Alright everyone, we have to do something about these Saiyans. They're approaching Earth quickly, and I don't think we have the strength to take them on alone. Batman, what are your thoughts?**

**BATMAN: Well, I think...**

**AQUAMAN: (offscreen) I have an idea!**

This got a few laughs.

"Was that Krillin?" Ruby said.

**BATMAN: Oh God, it's Aquaman...**

"Aquaman?"

"He sounds lame." Nora said.

**AQUAMAN: (offscreen) Come on, guys, we could use whales! WHAAALES!**

"How whales can kill the Saiyans?" Yang said.

**SUPERMAN: Someone, get him out of here!**

**AQUAMAN: (sadly; offscreen) I'ma whaaaaales...**

"Aww." Pyrrha said.

**(Scene shifts to planet Arlia)**

**NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Arlia...**

"Are they done?" Blake said.

**ARLIAN KING: There, I banged my wife, will ya leave us in peace?**

**VEGETA: Actually, no, I'm still going to kill you.**

"At least he had sex before dying." Yang said.

**ARLIAN KING: Summon the Rancor!**

**(the Rancor arises from the ground, which is a gigantic Arlian)**

"Wow!" Ruby said.

**NAPPA: Vegeta... It's... It's... It's so cute! Can I keep it? Can I keep it?**

"Adorable?!" Weiss said.

**VEGETA: Fine, just catch it or something.**

**NAPPA: Yay! **

"He's playing with it? How strong is he?" Yang said.

**NAPPA: (Rancor tries to attack Nappa, who grabs its hand) Here boy, shake- (rips off one of the Rancor's fingers) Ahhh, I got your finger.**

Everyone cringed with that and started laughing.

"Nappa is ruthless."

**NAPPA: Okay, now boy, catch the ball. Catch the ball! (hurls a blast at the Rancor, completely destroying it) Hagh! Awwww! Aww, I broked-ed it, Vegeta. It must be made of something weak- like paper maché, or Raditz.**

This got a few laughs.

"So much hate on Raditz." Jaune said.

**ARLIAN KING: (the audio downgrades in quality) (terrified and begins running up to his throne) Please, I'll do anything you want! (Vegeta begins hurling debris at the king's throne) We'll give you riches, womens- Wait, what are you doing?**

**VEGETA: I'm about to rock you... like a hurricane.**

"That's a good line." Yang said.

**ARLIAN KING: I love that song! (debris hits the king in the torso, killing him) AAUGHWRR!**

"That was so cool! He used the debris!" Ruby said.

**VEGETA: Ha, did you see that, Nappa- that was totally bada- (looks towards Nappa) What are you doing?**

**NAPPA: (offscreen) I'm cuddling it, Vegeta.**

"But it's dead." Nora said.

**VEGETA: It's dead, Nappa.**

**NAPPA: NOOOOOO! **

Everyone laughed.

**NAPPA: (cries) Oh, I remember when we first got him, Vegeta.**

"That was not a minute ago!" Weiss said.

**(flashback of Nappa Killing the Rancor with Barbara Streisand's "The Way We Were" playing in the background)**

"This is awkward." Yang said while laughing.

"Where's the music?" Jaune said.

"Copyright issues." Nova said.

"That's a bummer. Without music it's really weird." Ruby said.

**NAPPA: (audio returns to normal) Ah, good times.**

This got a few laughs.

"I love Nappa, he's hilarious!" Nora said.

"Everyone loves Nappa." Nova said.

**ARLIAN: You have freed our race! You two are the greatest heroes known to our planet! We shall erect statues of you...**

**NAPPA: Well, isn't that nice of them, Vege-**

**ARLIAN: ...out of our dung.**

"Ewww!" the girls said and laughed.

"Why does this planet exist?" Yang said.

**(silence)**

**NAPPA: Well, isn't that nice of them, Ve-**

**VEGETA: We're leaving, Nappa.**

**NAPPA: 'Kay.**

"He was going to accept the shit statues?"

**(Vegeta and Nappa fly to their Space Pods and leave Arlia)**

**NAPPA: Look at us, Vegeta, we saved an entire race from tyranny. We're heroes, Vegeta- we are a couple of really great guy-**

**(Vegeta exits his pod and destroys Arlia)**

**NAPPA: Ha ha! Ahaha! Ahh... tragic.**

Everyone was with open mouths, shocked.

"He destroyed the planet! Only using his fingers!" Jaune said.

"COOOL!" Ruby and Nora said.

"At least that planet is destroyed." Weiss said.

**[ENDING SEQUENCE]**

**[STINGER]**

**(scene shifts to a barren wasteland with Gohan eating berries)**

**GOHAN: (thinking) Wow, I finally learned how to survive all by myself, live on my own, and surviving off the fat of the land. Mr. Piccolo will be so proud- (gets blasted) YAAAYYYAYAYAY... (falls down and starts mumbling)**

**PICCOLO: (offscreen) DOOOOOOOOODGE! **

Everyone laughed.

"Poor Gohan. He tries so hard." Pyrrha said.

**And done! Next chapter is YGOTAS. Like follow and review. See you soon!**


	31. YGOTAS EP2&3

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 30:**** YGOTAS EP2&3**

"What's next Nova?" Ruby said.

"Let's put some Yu-Gi-Oh. But there are no redux episodes, so they sound a little weak." Nova said.

"It's okay, just play it." Jaune said.

**YAMI: In tonight's episode, the part of Tristan Taylor will be played by Barney the Dinosaur.**

"Barney?" Ruby said.

"A character from a kids show. He looks like this." Nova said showing a picture, getting some laughs.

**(School)**

**BAKURA: I say, Yugi, can I play too?**

**YUGI: Sorry, Bakura, main characters only.**

"He's too not-important to play." Yang said.

**JOEY: Playin' card games sure beats doin' schoolwork. Arithmetic is for losers! (Téa plays a card) Now I just gotta subtract your defense points from my attack points and...and, uh...wait a minute, how do I do that?**

"Yeah, the game does sound complicated." Ruby said.

"Aren't all strategy games complicated at first?" Jaune said.

**TÉA: It's official, you're an idiot.**

This got a few laughs.

**TRISTAN: (singing)**

_**I love you, you love me,**_

_**We're a happy family...**_

"That was weird." Blake said.

"Fyi, that's a Barney song." Nova said.

"That's how Barney sounds like?" Pyrrha said.

"It's kinda fitting." Weiss said.

**(Outside school)**

**JOEY: Tristan's song taught me a valuable lesson. I need to learn how to be a better duelist. Ya gotta help me out here, Yug!**

Everyone laughed.

"This is so stupid." she said while laughing.

**YUGI: Let me see your deck. (looks through Joey's deck; thinking) Oh man, his deck is even more powerful than mine! Woah, the Dark Magician! I just gotta have that! (aloud) Jeez, Joey, your cards are worthless! Tell you what, why don't I get rid of these, and we'll go visit Gramps and set you up with a new special super awesome deck?**

"He's going to steal Joey's cards?" Pyrrha said.

"Dickmove." Yang said.

**JOEY: Thanks, Yug, you're always lookin' out for me!**

"He just stole your cards!" Weiss said.

**(Game shop)**

**GRANDPA: (stroking poster) Oh Black Luster Soldier, no one must ever know of our forbidden love...**

**JOEY: (enters with Yugi) Hey, Yugi's grandpa! How about trainin' me to become Duel Monsters champ over here?**

**GRANDPA: Very well, but it will require hours of rigorous off-screen practice.**

"Off-screen? No montage?" Nora said.

"It's a card game. Why would make a montage about that?" Weiss said.

**JOEY: Really? I don't even get a trainin' montage?**

**GRANDPA: Who do you think you are? Rocky Balboa?**

"Who's-"

"A movie character who's a professional boxer." Nova said interrupting Ruby.

**(On TV, Weevil Underwood and Rex Raptor prepare to duel)**

**ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Regional Championship, where the comic relief villains are having a meaningless duel. I can't believe we're actually airing this on TV, folks!**

"There's a TV channel about the game? Is it really that important?" Blake said.

"No one would watch a channel like that." Yang said.

**(Zoom out to a TV set in Yugi's room)**

**JOEY: Man, I love the Card Game Channel.**

**YUGI: It's almost as good as the Watching Paint Dry Channel.**

Everyone laughed.

"I think it's better."

**GRANDPA: (holding a package) There's a package here for you, Yugi. You'd better not have been using my credit card to buy Duel Monsters merchandise off eBay again!**

"It's a waste of money." Weiss said.

**YUGI: (taking the package) It's from Industrial Illusions. I guess they heard about my victory over Kaiba.**

"Did they forget the fact that Kaiba kidnapped and injured Yugi's grandfather?" Pyrrha said.

"He has money, so he probably made sure no one to find out." Weiss said.

**JOEY: Yeah, those card games are big news. It completely overshadowed the fact that he kidnapped and hospitalized your Grandpa!**

"That game is ridiculously powerful." Blake said.

**TRISTAN: Hey, look! I'm on TV!**

**JOEY: What are ya talking about, Tristan? That's just a purple dinosaur.**

**(On TV)**

**(Rex has summoned Two-Headed King Rex)**

"That monster looks so cool!" Ruby said.

**REX: Uh-huh-huh, hey Weevil, check it out. My dinosaur's horny. Uh-huh-huh, get it?**

This got a few laughs.

"What voice is that?" Yang said while laughing.

**WEEVIL: Yeah, heh-heh-heh, yeah, heh-heh-heh, heh-heh...**

Everyone then laughed.

**REX: It's, like, your move, or something?**

**WEEVIL: Heh-heh-heh, bugs are cool, heh-heh-heh. (plays Basic Insect)**

"What are those voices?" Jaune said.

"It's from a TV show." Nova said.

**(Yugi's room)**

**YUGI: (watching TV) These guys sound awfully familiar...**

**(On TV)**

**REX: So, like, I'll...attack or something?**

**WEEVIL: You, like, activated my Trap Card, buttmunch. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.**

Everyone laughed.

"I wish we had shows like that." Ruby said.

**REX: Uh-huh-huh, no way.**

**WEEVIL: Fire! Fire! Yeah, heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh.**

**(Basic Insect destroys Two-Headed King Rex)**

**REX: This sucks! I'm gonna go, like, get some nachos.**

"I want some nachos now." Nora said.

**ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Maximillion PEEEEGASUS!**

**PEGASUS: (entering with a trophy) Congratulations, Mr. Underwood, here's your trophy. Now, allow me to render your victory utterly pointless by announcing a far more interesting contest with a much grander title up for grabs.**

"Yeah, stuff like that ruins your victory." Pyrrha said.

**WEEVIL: (taking the trophy) Whoa, heh, this chick is hot! Heh-heh-heh...**

Everyone laughed.

"I can't believe he got him for a woman!" Yang said while laughing. "And that voice makes it hilarious!"

**(Yugi's room)**

**(Yugi has opened his package)**

**YUGI: Hey, there was a video inside the package! (plays the video)**

**GRANDPA: I just hope it's not one of those cursed video tapes that are all the rage these days...**

"Those kinds of horror movies are lame." Yang said.

"They're not that bad." Ruby said.

"The ones with psychological terror are the best." Blake said.

**PEGASUS: (on tape) Seven days...**

Everyone laughed.

"Now they'll die." Nora said.

**GRANDPA: Oh snap, I knew it!**

**PEGASUS: That's right, Yugi-boy! There are only seven days 'til Duelist Kingdom! And in order to get you to enter I'm going to force you to play a Shadow Game! (sucks Yugi into the Shadow Realm, freezing his friends) Win in 15 minutes and I'll release your friends.**

"So he's the bad guy?" Weiss said.

"It was obvious in the last episode." Ren said.

**YAMI: That's fine by me, Pegasus! I'll beat you with the cards I took from...I mean, the cards that Joey gave me! (prepares to play a card)**

"He almost got busted." Yang said.

**PEGASUS: You won't beat anyone with that Dragon card.**

"He can read his thoughts?" Ruby said.

"Opponents like these are unbeatable." Rwn said.

**YAMI: You can see into my mind?**

**PEGASUS: Yes, Pharaoh-boy! And I can see that you and I have a great deal in common!**

**YAMI: What's that supposed to mean?**

**PEGASUS: Isn't it obvious?**

"Well, he is inside another man, so-"

"That doesn't make him gay." Blake interrupted Yang.

**YAMI: Look, pal, just because I inhabit the body of a teenage boy doesn't mean I'm a—**

**PEGASUS: Oh come now, Pharaoh-boy, don't be so gauche! I was referring to our Millennium Items.**

**YAMI: Oh...right, I knew that!**

**(24 theme plays as the timer ticks down every second, showing various images of Yami Yugi and Pegasus's duel)**

"Ten minutes passed already?" Weiss said.

"I think Pegasus is trying to stall Yugi." Ren said.

"That's cheating!" Ruby said.

"Actually, it's just good strategy." Pyrrha said.

**PEGASUS: What would you say if I told you I didn't actually create Duel Monsters, and that it's actually based on mystical duels held by powerful pharaohs many thousands of years ago?**

"That's so cool, a game that was played in ancient years!"

"I think back then it wasn't a game." Blake said.

**YAMI: What you talkin' 'bout, Pegasus?**

**PEGASUS: These pharaohs battled with real monsters and real magic, so as you can imagine, it was a great deal more exciting than the watered-down product I created.**

"This show has an interesting story." Weiss said.

**YAMI: Wait a minute, you're just using this monologue to stall for time!**

**(The timer reaches 00:00)**

"That's so unfair." Ruby said.

**PEGASUS: Well it worked, didn't it?**

**YAMI: You're a cheat!**

**PEGASUS: No, my strategy was merely—**

**YAMI: Hey, everybody! Pegasus is a big stinky cheater!**

Everyone laughed.

"What will that accomplish?" Yang said.

**PEGASUS: Ooh, so that's the way it's going to be, is it? Fine then. Let's see how your Grandpa manages...without his soul! (his Millennium Eye sucks Grandpa's soul into the TV) Ooooh, I'm so ambiguously camp!**

He took his soul! That's so evil!" Ruby said.

**GRANDPA: (hands pressed against the TV) Yuuugiii...**

**YUGI: (changing back from Yami Yugi) You bastard! You turned him into a mime!**

"Not a mime!" Nora said.

"Mimes aren't bad." Weiss said.

"Mimes are terrifying!"

**YUGI: (everyone is unfrozen; Grandpa's body collapses) Grandpa! Graaaandpaaaa!**

**JOEY: Hey, Yug, down in front, will ya?**

**TRISTAN: Yeah, we were watching that!**

"They can't see his soulless body?!" Blake said.

**(Stinger)**

**YAMI MARIK: (with Lex Luthor's voice from Superman Returns trailer) Come on, let me hear you say it, just once.**

**TÉA: (with Lois Lane's voice from Superman Returns trailer) You're insane!**

**YAMI MARIK: NO! No, not that, the other thing.**

**TÉA: Superman will never—**

**YAMI MARIK: WRONG! **

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

"It doesn't matter." Nova said.

"That episode was short. Can you put another one?"

"Sure."

**YAMI: I'm not actually in this episode... has anyone seen my agent?**

**(On top of the school, dusk)**

**YUGI (thinking): Well, Grandpa's a drooling vegetable. And now, thanks to Pegasus, he's lost his soul too. I've just gotta save him. But first, I should probably figure out how to get down from here. Hello? A little help here? Anybody?**

"How did he get there in the first place?" Weiss said.

**(Joey's room)**

**JOEY: Hey, it's another video! I wonder if Pegasus wants my soul too?**

Everyone laughed.

**He puts the video in the player**

**SERENITY (on the video): What's up big brother?**

"Everyone has a stupid voice." Ruby said while laughing.

**JOEY: It's my sister who sounds nothin' like me!**

**SERENITY: The doctors have been so busy trying to figure out why my voice is so high-pitched, they've neglected to treat my eyesight! So I'm going blind. Well, seeya later! ..or not..**

"That's terrible!" Pyrrha said.

"It must be really bad being unable to see." Ruby said.

**JOEY: I guess my soul ain't good enough for Pegasus.**

"If the bad guys don't do anything to you, then you're worthless." Yang said.

**(At school the next day)**

**YUGI: I've decided to accept Pegasus' invitation and travel to his private island where I'll be completely at his mercy. It's a shame rich megalomaniacs are immune from the law, otherwise we could just call the police!**

"That sucks." Ruby said.

**JOEY: Cash sure does do terrible things to people. It's like the old saying goes: Money is the root of all-**

**TRISTAN: Hey look! This tournament has a prize of three million dollars!**

**JOEY: Cha-ching! Duelist Kingdom, here I come!**

"Money can't buy happiness, people do." Pyrrha said.

"But the stuff you buy can." Nora said.

"Only if you share them with your friends." Ruby said.

"That's really sweet." Nova said.

**(Outside)**

**YUGI: Hey Joey, remember the time we became friends?**

**JOEY: Yeah.**

"I bet he bullied him first." Jaune said.

"Cliché trope." Yang said.

**(Flashback)**

**YUGI: Give me back my Millennium Puzzle you big dickweeds! Waaaah!**

**JOEY and TRISTAN: We're tormenting you!**

**(End flashback)**

Everyone laughed.

"That's so mean." Ruby said.

**YUGI: Actually Joey, I was talking about the part after that.**

**JOEY: Oh.. oh yeah, now I remember!**

**(Flashback)**

**YUGI: I mean it guys, give it back!**

**JOEY and TRISTAN: We're still tormenting you!**

**(End flashback)**

They laughed even more.

"When will it show how they became friends?"

**JOEY: Man, good times!**

**YUGI: No Joey, I mean the time when I saved you from that bully!**

**JOEY: Huh.. no.. no, I don't remember that..**

"Everyone is a jerk to each other." Weiss said.

"That's a true friendship. You do that only to your friends." Yang said.

**YUGI: But I was all heroic and stuff!**

**JOEY: Hey, remember the time me and Tristan took your Millennium Puzzle?**

**(Flashback)**

**YUGI: Waaaahahahaaah!**

**JOEY and TRISTAN: Torment!**

**(End flashback)**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"Stop already!" Weiss said while laughing.

**YUGI: Remind me why we're friends again?**

**(At the boat for Duelist Kingdom)**

**KEMO: Attention Duelists! My hair is telling you that it's time for you to board! Anyone caught without a crazy hairstyle will NOT be permitted to enter the Duelist Kingdom!**

"A crazy hairstyle?" Blake said.

"All anime characters have weird hairstyles." Nova said.

**JOEY: (Being held by guards) Hey! But my hair's all blonde and poofy!**

"It's not that weird." Yang said.

**GUARD: Sorry sir, but it needs to be at least twice the size of your head for it to count.**

**YUGI: He's with me.**

**GUARD: Wow! Your hair's crazy enough for two people! Okay he can go.**

Everyone laughed.

"His hair is that weird." Ruby said.

**JOEY: Thanks Yug. Man, your hair really is crazy. What the heck's your secret?**

**YUGI: L'Oréal. Because I'm worth it.**

Everyone laughed.

"I don't get it but it's still funny." Weiss said.

**TÉA: Come on, Tristan! Let's sneak on board like Solid Snake!**

**TRISTAN: Don't our parents even care that we're missing?**

"That's actually weird, what are their parents doing? Do they even know that they left?" Pyrrha said.

**MAI: Is that a Lightforce Sword in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?**

"Or see your big chest." Yang said.

"Look who's talking." Weiss said.

"Shut up, you're just jealous."

**JOEY: Check it out, Yug. It's a pair of giant breasts attached to a woman.**

Everyone laughed.

"That was priceless!"

**MAI: The name's Mai Valentine. It's not a very subtle pun, but then again, nothing about me is very subtle.**

"We can see that." Blake said.

**JOEY: Boooobiiiiies.**

**MAI: I'll crush you when we get to the island.**

**JOEY: With your boobies, right?**

"Every boys dream." Weiss said.

**TRISTAN: What's wrong, Téa?**

**TÉA: I need to use the bathroom, but the lady who dubs me won't admit it.**

"Why would they censor something like that?" Ruby said.

"4kids! I don't know!" Nova said.

**TRISTAN: In another few hours the sun will rise!**

"What does that mean?" Yang said.

**TÉA: What the f*ck does that mean?!**

**Text appears on screen: (seriously, he actually says that... wtf?)**

"That's a real line?! What were they thinking?!" Ruby said.

**TÉA: Hey, isn't that Bakura?**

**TRISTAN: Bakura? The limey kid from school?**

"I guess he is kinda important as a character." Blake said.

**TÉA: What's he doing here?**

**TRISTAN: Who cares? He's not even a main character!**

**(Rex's room on the boat)**

**REX: Woah! Uh-huh-huh.. Come to Raptor.**

"Butthead again." Nova said.

"Butthead?" Jaune said.

"The show was called Beavis and Butthead."

"Who would name their kids like that?" Weiss said.

**MAI: Tell you what, Rex, if I win this duel, I get to use your room. But if you win, then I'll give you a kiss!**

**REX: Cool. Then I, like, won't be a virgin anymore.**

"He will lose." Yang said.

**(On deck)**

**WEEVIL: Heh-heh, hey Yugi, heh-heh, like, give me your cards or something. Heh-heh.**

**YUGI: Well, you're clearly evil, but I see no reason not to trust you.**

"That's a big reason not to trust him!" Weiss said.

**WEEVIL: Say goodbye to Exodia! (throws Exodia overboard) Heh-heh-heh-heh, yeah, heh-heh that was cool, heh-heh-heh (leaves)**

"Not Exodia!" Ruby said.

"He was actually kinda overpowered. I think the writer did a good choice." Ren said.

**YUGI: Holy cow, I never even saw that coming!**

**JOEY: I'll save 'em! (dives after the cards)**

"He's risking his life for the cards! He's a true friend." Ruby said

**(The theme from Titanic plays).**

**JOEY: Must.. risk.. life.. for cards!**

This got a few laughs.

**(Yugi dives in after him to save him)**

**(Music stops)**

**TRISTAN: (drops a ladder down to them) Hey! Get a room you two!**

"And the moment got ruined." Weiss said.

**(Boat hallway)**

**MAI: Get out, loser! (Chucks Rex into the hall)**

"I knew it." Yang said.

**REX: Uh.. did I just score?**

**(On deck)**

**TÉA: Sorry you almost drowned, guys.**

**TRISTAN: If it's any consolation, the sun will be up in a few hours!**

"Again with the sun." Weiss said.

**JOEY: Man, I can't believe I didn't save your cards! Compared to this, my sister's imminent blindness seems like a minor inconvenience!**

"No, it doesn't! Your sister being blind is worse!" Ruby said.

**YUGI: Your sister? How come you never mentioned that sub-plot before?**

**JOEY: My parents got divorced a long time ago, because I tried teaching her how to drive.**

"That's a stupid reason for a divorce." Blake said.

**(Flashback)**

**SERENITY: (in a car) Joey! Stop this crazy thing!**

**JOEY: Apply the handbrake, ya dumb broad!**

**(End flashback)**

This got a few laughs.

**TRISTAN (thinking): If she's going blind, I might actually have a chance with her!**

"Unbelievable!" Weiss said.

"With that voice, he won't." Yang said.

**(Morning)**

**YUGI: We'll both do our best, Joey! You for your sister, and me for my Grandpa.**

**TÉA: I'm not even sure why I bothered coming!**

**TRISTAN: Hey, look! I was right about the sun!**

This got a few laughs.

**Stinger:**

**ADIMRAL ACKBAR: It's a TRAP! (Trap Hole appears on screen) **

"I liked the part with Mai." Yang said.

"Is it because they said that about you?" Ruby said.

"A lot of times."

**And done! Next up is Hellsing. I have a program for the videos, the first three of the day are the abridged series, a random one, a try not to challenge and then two or more random. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	32. Hellsing Ultimate Abridged EP2

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 31:**** Hellsing Ultimate Abridged EP2**

"What will we watch now?" Jaune said.

"Let's watch some Hellsing abridged." Nova said.

"Yes! More action!" Nora said.

**ANDERSON: The following is a fan-based parody. Hellsing Ultimate is owned by Kouta Hirano and Studio Madhouse, and licensed by Geneon, Madman Entertainment, Manga Entertainment, and Funimation. Please support the official release... ya Protestant fuckbucket.**

"What is a Protestant?" Ren said.

"Let me explain! Christianity is a religion. The Christians believe that my brother Jesus is a god. Through the years, the Christian church has split into three. The Orthodox, the Catholic and the Protestant." Nova said.

"But why? They all have the same god." Pyrrha said.

"They have some differences. You see, the Protestants are the ones that don't give a shit, the Catholics are the ones with the money and fame and the Orthodox are the real Christians."(I'm an Orthodox)

"Can't we stop with all the religious stuff and watch the video?" Yang said.

**INTEGRA: (answers phone) Hello, Alucard. How was your mission in Japan?**

**ALUCARD: (intercom) Eh. I'd say ninety-nine...(Scene: "Highschool of the Dead")...point nine percent done. 'Sup, bitch?**

Nova started laughing.

"It sucks when only you understand the jokes!"

**INTEGRA: I need to talk to you about some important guests coming today.**

**ALUCARD: Are they hookers?**

"I shouldn't be surprised with him." Weiss said.

**INTEGRA: No.**

**ALUCARD: And like that you've lost me.**

**INTEGRA: They're our financial suppliers.**

**ALUCARD: Oh, man! They have to hate us!**

**INTEGRA: They do. That's why they cancelled our budget.**

"Oh, this is bad."

**ALUCARD: Ooh, that's bad. We need that, right? Walter, we need that, right?**

**WALTER: Yes; very important.**

**ALUCARD: Thank you, Walter.**

**WALTER: Of course, sir.**

"Why would they cancel their budget?" Ruby said.

"Alucard is probably the reason."

"But if they do, who will hunt all the vampires?"

"There are probably more bases." Blake said.

**INTEGRA: Over the last couple of years, we've had some... expensive claims.**

**ALUCARD: Like what?**

**INTEGRA: First off - property damage.(masses fleeing from burning buildings)**

**ALUCARD: Good times.**

This got a few laughs.

**INTEGRA: Dozens of noise complaints.**

**ALUCARD: (shouting to the sound of loud heavy metal) Sorry! I can't hear you!**

Everyone laughed.

**INTEGRA: Killing at least a dozen innocent people.**

**ALUCARD: Oh, so did Anthony Hopkins, and he got a fucking Oscar for it!**

"Who?" Yang said.

"He's an actor that played in very good movies, like _Silence of the lamps_." Nova said.

"That sounds like a scary movie." Pyrrha said.

"It's one of the most disturbing films."

"Also what's an Oscar?" Jaune said.

"The most famous movie awards."

**INTEGRA: And... all of the sexual harassment.**

**ALUCARD: ...I'm not apologizing.**

They laughed even harder.

**INTEGRA: Listen, I know this is asking a lot, but...**

**ALUCARD: Buuut...?**

**INTEGRA: I want you to keep yourself locked in the basement until all of them are gone!**

"She's embarrassed of him?" Ruby said.

"Who wouldn't be?" Weiss said.

**ALUCARD: ...I get the distinct impression you're embarrassed of me.**

This got a few laughs.

**INTEGRA: Alucard...**

**ALUCARD: I'm gonna go with nooo.**

**INTEGRA: This is important and I don't need you causing another scene!**

**ALUCARD: I don't have to take this! I'm going for a walk.**

**INTEGRA: No, you don't!**

"But I wanted action!" Nora said.

**ALUCARD: Oh, what are you going to do? Grab that guy who can stop me? What was his name? Michael McDoesn'texist?**

"McDoesn'texist?" Yang said and laughed.

**INTEGRA: (sigh) ...What do you want?**

**ALUCARD: What~?**

"She's so desperate she bribes him." Weiss saidd.

**INTEGRA: What... do I need to give you... to keep you down here for the evening?**

**ALUCARD: I'm going to need a new gun. Also one for the police girl.**

"But she already has a cool sniper! What else could she get?" Ruby said.

**POLICE GIRL: (intercom) But I already have a gun.**

**ALUCARD: Get that bitch a cannon! Bitches love cannons.**

"Oh, oh, I want a cannon! Imagine the explosions!" Nora said.

"Nora, you already have a big hammer that can turn into a grenade launcher." Ren said.

"I know, but think about it!". The rest of the team thought about the chaos she would cause.

**INTEGRA: Anything else?**

**ALUCARD: A 70-inch... plasma widescreen TV.**

"A TV? Really?" Blake said.

**INTEGRA: Really?**

**ALUCARD: With Netflix.**

**INTEGRA: Should it also be 3-D?**

**ALUCARD: NO! That's a stupid fucking gimmick and everyone knows it!**

"But 3D is cool!" Ruby said.

"It was, but now not that much. Now it's the high resolutions. 8K curved televisions." Nova said.

**(Title sequence)**

"I love this intro." Yang said.

**INTEGRA: Hello, gentlemen. Thank you very much for accepting my invitation.**

**PENWOOD: Well, considering the direness of your financial security, we thought it was the least we could do.**

**INTEGRA: Now before we begin, I was under the impression our budget was handled directly by the Queen.**

"Queen? So kingdoms exist on Earth." Weiss said.

"Yeah, but the royal families are just decorations these days." Nova said.

**ISLANDS: Oh, it is. However, we're having a distinctly difficult time justifying some of these expenses.**

**PENWOOD: Most of them under the name... "Alucard"...**

"This will be interesting." Blake said.

**INTEGRA: (Takes a deep breath) ...Continue.**

This got a few laughs.

**ISLANDS: For example - some of them were frankly labeled, "Entertainment".**

**INTEGRA: "Entertainment"?**

**OLD ARSEHOLE #3: Quite. Like in my report: £20,000 for a... "Candi".**

**OLD ARSEHOLE #4: That's "Candi" with an "i", by the way.**

"Uh, Nova?" Ruby said.

"I really don't know what that is." Nova said.(I really don't know)

**INTEGRA: I see.**

**ISLANDS: Not to mention the priceless antique car. I believe the note on the claim was: "I thought I could paint it red, but I couldn't find enough goats. So I scrapped it."**

"What?! Goats?!" Weiss said.

"Why would he use goat blood?!" Pyrrha said.

**INTEGRA: So that's why we found my father's car covered in goat blood and rammed into a Dairy Queen.**

Everyone laughed.

**PENWOOD: Oh yes, and then there's also the Dairy Queen, sitting at about £95,000-**

**INTEGRA: (simultaneously; thinking) I would do fucking anything right now to get out of this.**

**PENWOOD: (simultaneously; in background) -in damages, not to mention a hospital for all those other customers of the-**

"It will probably take a long time." Yang said.

**(Outside Hellsing grounds)**

**JAN: ...And so half way through blowin' me, the fuckin' hooker OD's on heroin!**

**LUKE: I really don't like discussing my ex-girlfriend with you.**

"He's talking about his ex?!" Blake said.

**JAN: I mean I still finished, but what kind of shit is that?**

**LUKE: For God sakes, Jan. Think of mother!**

**JAN: ...I ain't jerkin' off right now.**

"How fucked up is that guy?!" Yang said.

**GUARD: Oi, you two. The grounds are currently closed.**

**JAN: Aww, man! That totally sucks! And we came all the way out here with these foreign exchange students on a field trip through England.**

**GUARD: Where from?**

**(Guns emerge from bus)**

**JAN: Texas. (Snaps fingers)**

**(Guards are shot to death)**

"Man, those weapons are powerful. They destroyed the gate!" Ruby said.

"And a part of the road." Blake said.

"So, in some places, guns are legal." Yang said.

"Of course not." Nova said.

**JAN: Aw, shit. Looks like we need more prayer in schools.**

**LUKE: If you're quite finished, ready the ghouls. I'm going to find Alucard. You overrun the rest of the mansion.**

**JAN: Alrighty. (To subordinates emerging from bus) Attention, all bitches! Off the bus and line up in order! I got a class assignment for all of y'all!**

**ISLANDS: ...And while the mime did survive, he'll never walk again.**

"That mime deserved it!" Nora said.

"Mimes aren't bad!" Weiss said.

"But clowns are!"

"Yeah, especially the ones that you find on midways in night, holding a machete or a chainsaw." Nova said.

"THEY DO?!"

"Is that true?" Pyrrha said.

"I wish it wasn't." Nova said.

**(Lights flicker)**

**PENWOOD: That's funny; we weren't cutting the power just yet.**

This got a few laughs.

**INTEGRA: Oh, shit... (Calls front desk) Front desk, report. What's going on?**

**FRONT DESK CLERK: (intercom) Oh hey, yeah. Hold on. Just give me a second. (footsteps) Whoa. **

This also got a few laughs.

"You see some ghouls and the only thing you say is "woah"." Yang said.

**FRONT DESK CLERK: (footsteps) Oh yeah, it's ghouls. Hmm, definitely, definitely-(Ghoul growls)OH MY GOD-!(Squelch; dialtone)**

"Well, they're screwed." Ruby said.

**PENWOOD: Sir Integra, do something!**

**INTEGRA: Calm down! We have over 100 trained guards at the premises at all times. We have everything under control.(Muffled explosion)**

**PENWOOD: ...What was that?**

"Probably the guards being blown to bits." Yang said.

**INTEGRA: That was probably the escape chopper exploding. As I was saying, let me just contact communications and get an update. (Calls communications) Communications, come in. We need a full report.**

"That's smart. Now they can't leave." Blake said.

**COMMS: (crying through intercom)**

**JAN: (intercom) Read the fuckin' paper.**

"He's dead."

**COMMS: (crying) "**_**H-h-hey there... Integra...**_**"**

**JAN: **_**READ IT FUCKIN' (slap) RIGHT, COCKHOLE!**_

This got a few laughs.

**COMMS: "**_**Hey there... you... fat, English... whore...**_**"**

**JAN: **_**That's more like it. Now keep goin'.**_

**COMMS: "**_**Me... and my big brother, Luke, are killing... all of your men... and turning them into ghouls... So... I-I... h-hope... you've made peace... with yourself... 'cuz when... I find you... I'm gonna-" ...O-oh God!**_

**JAN: **_**Keep reading, or I SHOOT THE OTHER TESTICLE!**_

They were cringing at the image but they couldn't hold their laughs.

**COMMS: (sobbing) "**_**'Cuz when I find you I'm gonna fuck every hole you've gooot...! And then I'm gonna just keep makin' more holes to fu-uck... until there's nothing left but your riddled corpse full of blood... and seme-hen..." Oh God, this is horrible...!**_

"Okay, that's extreme." Yang said while laughing.

**JAN: **_**You ain't finished yet!**_

"There's more?!" Weiss said.

"That guy must have already shat himself."

**COMMS: (sobbing) **_**"So prepare your dried-up pussy... for my hu-huge vampire co-ho-hock...! **_

**COMMS: (sobbing) "**_**Now pardon me, while I blow this faggot ginger's brains out-" OH GOD NO-!**_**(gunshot)**

Everyone was shocked and disturbed by this.

**JAN: **_**Ha ha ha ha! Oh! His fuckin' face, man! Aha, fuck! Ha ha ha ha! Oh no, that shit is priceless! **_**(hangs up)(dialtone)**

"I hope he dies." Nora said.

**INTEGRA: (calls Alucard) Alucard, get up here now! I'm locked in with the committee on the third floor and-**

**ALUCARD: (intercom) Okay, see, I'm going to have to stop you right there. **

"He won't help." Blake said.

**ALUCARD:You see, I'm under direct orders from my boss - who is a total bitch, by the way, (grunts) - that I am not to leave this room until such time as the committee has left the building. I was even bribed. Imagine that.**

Everyone laughed.

**INTEGRA: Alucard, you vampiric asshole, I will-!**

**ALUCARD: Sounds great, but I'm gonna have to go now. I just queued up an episode of "Adventure Time" on Netflix. Byyye~("Adventure Time" starts; Alucard hangs up)**

"He's such a jerk!" Ruby said.

"She kinda deserved it." Weiss said.

**INTEGRA: (calls Walter) Walter!**

**(Scene change: Luke kills several Hellsing guards)(Opera music ringtone)**

**LUKE: (answers phone) Hello, Jan.(dead guards collapse)**

**JAN: So, how's my favorite big brother doin'?**

"I like how he's using that hand to scratch his crotch." Yang said while laughing.

**LUKE: Oh, you know; just killed a group of guards.**

**JAN: Shit, bro. You too? What's your kill count at? Nah, don't tell me... (ghouls eating in background) I'm winnin'.**

"Those are a lot of dead bodies." Ruby said.

**LUKE: They were guarding a secret passage way downstairs. Not really keeping it a secret if you keep a bunch of armed guards standing around it.**

"Yeah, it does bring attention." Weiss said.

**JAN: Well, you have fun with that, bro. I'm gonna go skullfuck that Hellsing bitch. And the old guys. Ah, fuck it. Skullfuckin' for everyone! Come 'ere, ghoul!(ghoul groaning, squelch)**

"That's so disgusting!" Pyrrha said.

**LUKE: (hangs up) Well, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.**

"Tell me about it!" Weiss said.

**(Scene change)**

**INTEGRA: Alright. Walter and his assistant should be here any second now.**

**PENWOOD: But if there's no way to get upstairs, how are they going to- (hit by roof panel) Ah!(Police Girl falls on top of Penwood)**

**POLICE GIRL: (simultaneously) Ah! Whoa!**

**PENWOOD: (simultaneously) Ah!**

"*giggles* He got hit by her butt." Nora said.

**WALTER: Talley-ho!**

**INTEGRA: Good to see you, Walter.**

**WALTER: Of course, sir.**

**INTEGRA: The first two floors have been entirely overrun. Communications with the outside have been cut off, we lost all our men, and Alucard is being...**

"A total dick?" Yang said.

**WALTER: Alucard?**

**INTEGRA: A total ass, yes. Now tell me, do you have any plans?**

**WALTER: Of course, sir. I shall do exactly as the butler does... and tidy up.**

"Oh man, I can't wait!" Ruby said.

**(Scene change)**

**JAN: I don't give a shit, I don't give a fuck **

**I don't give a shit! I don't give a fuck! **

**Now if I give a shit, I might just give a fuck **

**But I don't give a shit, so I don't give a-! **

**(Subordinates instantly sliced to death)**

**...Fuck was that?**

Nova couldn't stop laughing.

**WALTER: Hello. My name is Walter C. Dornez, ex-vampire hunter and butler to the Hellsing Organization. I answer the door, I clean up the estate, and I take out the trash... and I also kill self-entitled little twats like yourself.**

"Best butler ever!"

"He has class." Yang said.

**JAN: Well, ain't you just the textbook fuckin' definition of classy! But guess what, Jeeves, (snaps fingers and armored subordinates emerge) that garrote wire won't do shit for dick against armor this thick! What's that, Alfred? "How thick is it?" Well, half as thick as mah dick! So thick enough that you need a fuckin' anti-tank rifle to pierce it, and I don't even see a piece on your wrinkly old ass.**

"Boodoo people murder people?" Ren said.

**WALTER: Police Girl, if you may.(view pans back to Police Girl with an anti-tank rifle)**

**POLICE GIRL: Bitches love cannons! (fires at armored subordinates)**

"She has an anti-tank rifle! That is awesome!" Ruby said.

**JAN: Oh fuck, that's an anti-tank rifle... OH FUCK, THAT'S AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE!(Police Girl fires again)**

Everyone laughed.

**(Scene change)(Jake laughing on the TV, which is then destroyed when Luke makes his entrance)**

"Why was that funny?" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**ALUCARD: ...That was a 70-inch... plasma screen TV. (deep breath) ...So, how can I help you?**

"He's already dead." Yang said.

**LUKE: You must be the great Alucard.**

**ALUCARD: 'Suup.**

**LUKE: I've heard quite a lot about you.**

**ALUCARD: Oh really?**

**LUKE: The night walker... who glides through oceans of blood. Beyond human. A monster whose power radiates with a darkness that casts a shadow on darkness itself!**

**ALUCARD: Oh, you dirty bitch, work the shaft!**

Yang couldn't stop laughing.

**LUKE: Ex...cuse you?**

**ALUCARD: Oh I'm sorry, I, heh, I like to dirty talk when someone's sucking my dick!**

Everyone started laughing.

**LUKE: Perhaps I should just skip to my point. My name is Luke Valentine.**

**ALUCARD: And I'm Carmen Sandiego. Guess where I am!**

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

**LUKE: I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you here.**

**ALUCARD: Oh, so am I. And I'm failing. And I'm sorry for that. It's just that I'm so agitated, because this blonde little shit strolled into my room, destroyed my 70-inch plasma TV, and is trying to impress me like I'm his alcoholic father!**

"He's ruthless! He doesn't stop the roast!" Nora said.

**(Luke & Alucard aim their guns at each other)**

**ALUCARD: Be a sport and grab Daddy another beer, would you?**

**(gunshot; scene change)**

**JAN: (grunts)**

**POLICE GIRL: Arm bars everywhere!**

"And there's the booty shot." Blake said.

"Hey, it can't be an anime without a booty shot." Nova said.

**JAN: (simultaneously) Ah, let go of me, stupid bitch!**

**WALTER: (simultaneously) That's quite impressive. Where did you learn that hold?**

"She's a police girl! She learn that!" Weiss said.

**POLICE GIRL: Oh wow, it's almost like I'm a police girl or something!**

Everyone laughed.

**WALTER: Sarcasm is unbecoming of you.**

**JAN: Wow. Gee willikers, mister. I sure am sorry for slaughterin' all your guards and tearin' up your mansion. I promise I've learned my les- (Walter stomps on his hand) AH! Fuck! Take a joke, asshole!**

"He's just annoying. Kill him already!" Blake aaid.

**WALTER: And everything you say just pisses me off! Now you're going to tell me everything I want to know.**

**JAN: Alright, alright. What you do... is you go down to the local pharmacy, ask for something called "Viagra", and it'll help ya GO FUCK YOURSELF!**

"Just die!" Yang said.

**WALTER: (grunts)**

**(Ghouls suddenly appear)**

**WALTER: (gasps)**

**(Police Girl grunts as Jan escapes her grasp)**

"Aren't they the guards?" Jaune said.

"They became ghouls!" Ruby said.

**JAN: And now for the upcoming company picnic. Unfortunately, all your douche bag coworkers are bringin' is their own rotten flesh. Still better than potato salad if you ask me. Now ifin you don't mind, I'ma go eat that Hellsing bitch!**

"I hate potato salad." Nora said.

**WALTER: (throws garrote wire at Jan's arm) I've got your arm!**

**JAN: (continues running despite his arm being cut in half) So shove it up your ass! Aha ha ha ha ha!(Opens door to meeting between Integra and financiers, only to find they all have guns trained on him)**

"He should expect that." Blake said.

**JAN: ...Well that's not fair at all.**

**INTEGRA: I'm sorry. We don't give a fuck.(gunfire)**

**JAN: (multiple times) Fuck! (once) Motherfuckin' cunt with a fuckin' titty! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! (slumps against the wall as gunfire ceases) Fuck! Ahg, where the fuck did my ghouls go?**

**WALTER: Oh, they've been dealt with.**

"The police girl?" Yang said.

**(flashback to Police Girl killing ghouls in a blood rage)**

"She's very cool when she's berserk." Ruby said.

"That's hot." Nova said.

**JAN: Well, least I'm gonna die with a raging boner.**

**INTEGRA: All right, shit-for-brains, you're going to spill every single thing you know or I'm going to have Walter here peel your dick like a banana!**

The boys cringed, while holding their crotches.

**JAN: (giggles) I don't know what's fuckin' funnier: The fact that you think that your titless ass intimidates me, or that you think my boss would let me live if ya did.(sets himself on fire)AND NOW I'M ON FUCKIN' FIRE! SO NOW IT'S FREE GAME! (flips the bird) The one who sent me... WAS...! ...Naaziiiss...!(Jan dies and turns into a steaming pile of ash)**

**INTEGRA: ...I heard George Lucas. Who else heard George Lucas?**

Everyone laughed.

"She can't accept that Alucard was right!" Blake said while laughing.

**WALTER: I heard Miami Heat.**

**POLICE GIRL: I herd the Mötley Crüe with my vampire hearing.**

**INTEGRA: Wait a second... where's the big brother?**

**(Scene change: Luke appears to have the upper hand in the shoot-out against Alucard)**

"Oh yeah, he fights Alucard!" Ruby said.

**LUKE: You can't touch me! I was hand-crafted to kill you! My speed, my stamina, my power all rival... nay, dwarf yours! In comparison to you, I am a demigod!**

"He looks really bad." Jaune said.

**ALUCARD: (seemingly headless) Really? ...Really?**

**LUKE: Really.**

**ALUCARD: Really?!**

**LUKE: Really!**

**ALUCARD: (head re-emerges) REALLY?!**

This scared them a little.

"I hate jumpscares!" Ruby said.

**LUKE: REALLY!**

**ALUCARD: Release restraint to level one.**

**LUKE: Level what?(Alucard changes form and shoots Luke in the leg)Agh! Agh! Fuck!**

"That's so sick!" Yang said.

**DEMONIC!ALUCARD: You know they say that TV makes you violent. But I'd say not having my TV IS MAKING ME PRETTY FUCKING VIOLENT! (shoots Luke in the other leg)**

"Exactly! They say that video games make you violent, but only if they take them away from you, because you have nothing to do then!" Ruby said.

"Yeah, tell them girl!" Nova said, giving her a high five.

**LUKE: Aaaaggh! (falls next to the staircase) I'm near the stairs. Gotta get to the stairs. If I could just get up the stairs, I- (as view pans up the long staircase) ...Aaawwwwwwwww fuck.**

This got a few laughs.

"Even if he got up there, what would that accomplish?" Pyrrha said.

**D!ALUCARD: Come on! You were talking all that good shit a second ago, then I blew your FUCKING legs off!**

**LUKE: (terrified) But I... You...! What the fuck?!**

**D!ALUCARD: What's wrong, "demigod"? Just grow back your legs! (crushes dead leg stump) Summon up your demons! HIT ME! FIGHT ME! Give me a hug!**

"He's fucked." Yang said.

**LUKE: ...Really?(Alucard grins before proceeding to eat Luke alive)Oh God no-!**

**(Scene change: Integra and financiers are listening to the confrontation through the intercom)**

**LUKE: (dying throughout the scene)**

**D!ALUCARD: Hey, we're here on Epic Meal Time! I'm the Sauceboss! And tonight, we're eating this blonde little wannabe demigod bitch!**

"He's making a food review?! That's really disturbing." Blake said.

**PENWOOD: Who... is that exactly?**

**INTEGRA: Oh, that's Alucard, the one we talked about earlier. This is what happens when he has to entertain himself. Oh, so what was that issue about funding?**

**PENWOOD: Issue?**

**ISLANDS: What issue?**

**PENWOOD: I don't see an issue.**

**OLD ARSEHOLE #3: Shut up and take our money!**

Everyone laughed.

"That was good." Weiss said.

**(Scene change)**

**ALUCARD: (intercom) Ah, and just like that, everything turned out alright in the end.**

"A big part of their headquarters got destroyed and all the guards died." Blake said.

**INTEGRA: Yes, everything turned out just fine... except that 90% of our staff were killed, turned into ghouls, then killed again by the police girl in a blood rage.**

**POLICE GIRL: What's a blood rage? (intercom) And why don't I remember anything?**

Everyone laughed.

"She's sometimes adorable." Nova said.

**ALUCARD: That reminds me - for whatever reason, did we ever find out who sent them? (beat) ...It was the Nazis, wasn't it?**

Everyone laughed even harder.

**INTEGRA: No.**

**ALUCARD: Bet you I'm right.**

**INTEGRA: Bet you you're wrong.**

**ALUCARD: Bet you you're a skank.**

**INTEGRA: Bet you you're an asshole!**

**ALUCARD: BITCH I EAT PEOPLE! **

They couldn't stop laughing.

"Man, that was hilarious and disturbing at the same time." Yang said.

"That show is awesome!" Nora said.

"What now?" Pyrrha said.

"Well, we could see the dark story of Sonic Adventure 2." Nova said.

"Start it!" Ruby said.

**And done. You know what's next. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	33. SA2 fandub dark and final story

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 32:**** Sonic Adventure 2 fandub - Dark and final story**

Nova started the video.

**Intercom:**_** There is a man trying to break into this place. Lock him in so he'll starve. This is the most logical course of action.**_

"Is it? But he can find whatever it's inside and break out." Ruby said.

**Eggman: (realistic explosion)Did you see that hot JPEG gootage that was just-(pauses to shoot)**

This got a few laughs.

**Eggman: Oohoohoo baby. I'm gonna blow the walls offa this place! Goin' uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!(falls down)(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"He fell down!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"We're already off a good start." Yang said.

**[Intro]**

"And final story?" Jaune said.

"It had the side of the heroes, the side of the villains and the final story where you as all of them." Nova said.

**Eggman: It's been seventeen days. I'm still tryin' to get out of here!**

**ROBOTS: Please. Stop. Ouch. Ouch.**

**Eggman: Oh my god. If you say please stop ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to PISS MY OWN ASS.**

Everyone laughed.

"Is that possible?" Nora said.

"No." Nova said.

**Robots: Please. Stop. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.**

**Eggman: Get out of my way! AAAAAAAAAAAAA-**

**[Black screen]**

**Eggman: (heavy breathing)Day 58.**

**Robots: Please. Stop. Ouch. Ouch.**

"He's been in here for almost two months!" Ruby said.

"I bet he'll next say _It's been one year!_" Yang said.

**Eggman: The robots have become sentient. They've started to know my name! They don't even say-**

**Robots: **_**Please stop, Ivo.**_**(laughter)**

**Eggman: Whuh... How did you know my MIDDLE NAME?!**

"I thought his name was Eggman." Ruby said.

"It's obviously a nickname." Weiss said.

"His real name is actually unknown. The Americans called him Ivo Robotnik." Nova said.

"Why would they change it?" Ren said.

"First of all, a villain named Eggman is not threatening."

"Yeah, Robotnik sounds better." Yang said.

"Also, old games don't tell the story, you learn it from the instruction manual. Because the story didn't tell much and because the Japanese are a bunch of assholes when it comes to their products and they keep it for themselves, the Americans decided to make their own version of the story, with their own characters. When Sonic Adventure came to America, the Americans learned about the real story and that Robotnik was named Eggman."

"That actually sucks." Ruby said.

"Keeping the story unknown from the rest of the world." Jaune said.

"The kids were full of questions like _Who is Eggman? This isn't Mobius! Where's Princess Sally? _They were very confused."

**[Black screen]**

**Robots: I remember everything.**

**Eggman: Three years! I've been in here for THREE YEARS!**

"Called it." Yang said.

"This is getting boring." Blake said.

"It's still the beginning."

**Eggman: AAAAAAAAAAA!**

**Robots: Please. Stop. Your mother would be very disappointed.**

**Eggman: GET OUT OF MY WAY! EVERYONE MOVE! GET OUT OF MY WAY I NEED TO GET THROUGH!**

**Robots: Remember fifth grade, Robotnik.**

"I would have gone crazy too if they locked me up for three years." Yang said.

**Eggman: Level 5!... No...(the sound of Eggman's titties hitting the bars on his Minecraft jail cell) Let me out! Ohhh, I gotta get outta here...**

**[Scene change]**

**Eggman: (very heavy breathing)Level 7... The luckiest number...**

"He's so happy he's free." Ruby said

**Eggman: (more heavy breathing, mixed with relieved chuckles)Is that a module? The dorr opened. I can finally leave! Martha, I'm coming home, sweetie!**

"I can't take it! That guy is hilarious!" Blake said, holding her laughter.

**Eggman: Oooooh, I can't wait to see her beautiful face! Let me check her Twitter page on my holographics.**

"In the original story, what happens?" Ren said.

"This is the part when he awakens Shadow." Nova said.

**Eggman: Mm... Hm... mmmm forgot my password...(laughter) mmmm, don't wanna log into the NSFW one, mmm... let me just... E-G-G (buzzer). Aw, that didn't work. Shit.**

This got a few laughs.

"Who puts the word egg for a password?" Weiss said.

"What is NSFW?" Ruby said.

"You'll learn when you're older." Yang said.

**Eggman: Now I have to log in with my... diamond(laughter). Well, emerald, but it looks like a diamond.**

"Why does that emerald look like a diamond?" Weiss said.

"That's a chaos emerald." Nova said.

"Chaos emerald?" Blake said.

"7 mystical gems that when you gather all of them, you can do some amazing stuff, like turn Super Saiyan, time-travel, bring back the dead, power up an entire city, have unlimited wifi, you know."

"You made up the wifi part, didn't you?" Yang said.

"Yes."

**Eggman: I see how it is. Alright, unlocking secret account. In 5...4...3...2(buzzer) I'm fucking PISSED OFF, IT DIDN'T UNLOCK! It's okay though, 'cause the secret is unlocking. Oooooh, aaaaaaah.**

**Shadow: And so, birthed from the critical pillar, and from- uh, Robotnik's Twitter account... I'm Hot Topic.**

"His shadow and he aren't right." Blake said.

**Eggman: (maniacal laugh) Who is that red striped mohawk- why you got hot sauce on your head, cuz? What's wrong?**

This got a few laughs.

**Shadow: I put hot sauce on everything, from twinkies to milk. It's what I DO, as the Ultimate Lifeform.**

Everyone laughed.

"Who puts hot sauce on milk?" Jaune said while laughing.

"Someone very edgy. Ruby, do you put hot sauce on your milk?" Nova said.

"What? No! I'm not that edgy!" Ruby said.

"I don't know sis, your outfit screams goth queen." Yang said.

"Imagine if she was depressed too. She would be like _What is a human? He's just a miserable pile of meat in the giant dark emptyness called space. I'm gonna go hang out at the cemetery. I like being around corpses._". Nova said and everyone started laughing.

"Holy crap!" Yang said while laughing.

"Why is it so funny!?" Blake said while laughing.

"This is terrible!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

_"I even wrote a poem._" Nova said.

"Poem!?" Yang said while laughing.

"Please stop!" Weiss said while laughing.

"_I hope you hate it because I want to kill myself. It's called I want to die: _". They couldn't stop laughing.

_"I want to die_

_I want to die a lot_

_I want to die_

_Make my suffering stop."._ Most of them were on the floor laughing.

"That's so dark!" Blake said while laughing.

"_Like my soul."_

"Please, stop! I can't take it!" Ruby said while laughing.

"You turned the happiest person I know, to the most depressing in the world!" Yang said while laughing.

"Thank you." Nova said. After they calmed down they continued the video.

**Eggman: Well honey, your mascara's on fleek. We gotta get the fuck outta here though, because, uh, the building's gonna explode.**

"Wait, he wears mascara?" Weiss said.

"Probably not." Ren said.

**Eggman: RED STRIPES? JET BOOTS?! OH MY GOD.**

"Shadow is the coolest." Ruby said.

**Shadow: Don't worry, I can fly. This won't be brought up ever again.**

"I forgot to ask. Why did Shadow call himself the Ultimate Lifeform?" Jaune said.

"He's an artificial life form created to cure diseases. But they shut the project down because I don't remember." Nova said.

"Then why is he the bad guy?" Nora said.

"You'll see."

**[Scene change]**

**Hot shot: **_**I heard that you like the hot sauce. I'm going to blast you out of this dimension."**_

"Boss fight time!" Yang said.

**Shadow: Well I'll eat you right up, baby(slurping).**

"The slurping sounds always get me." Nova said.

**Hot shot: **_**I am a red hot sauce, no one is allowed to eat me. I'm going to have to destroy you immediately, unless you give me your password and your social security number.**_

**Shadow: The password is "eatmyasshole".**

"Of course it is." Weiss said.

**Hot shot: **_**Awwwwwwwwwww, that's not an actual passwoooooooooord...**_

**Shadow: And my social security is 69.(laughter)**

**Penny: Nice.**

**Eggman: Wow! I'm gonna have to use that to get into your social security accooooount. Shadow the Hedgehog, please join me by my side and we shall, uh, rule the Earth together, hohaha!**

This got a few laughs.

"What was that laugh?" Nora said.

**Eggman: You can join me, Dr. Eggman, even though my BODY used to be regular shape!**

"He does look like an egg." Ruby said.

**Shadow: Yeah, well, no. You're fat.**

"Burn." Yang said.

**Shadow: Lol. Get rekt, you fat scrub man. I'm gonna go fuck your wife now.**

Everyone laughed.

"He's a savage!" Yang said while laughing.

**Eggman: WHAT? You are not ALLOWED to fuck my wife! Shadow! Come back here right now! SHADOW! What the FUCK?!(laughter)**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"He went to fuck his wife!" Blake said while laughing.

"Oh man, I can't breathe!" Yang said while laughing.

**[Scene change]**

**Eggman: You didn't think I had legs, did ya? I'm like Gru, except I'm the one before Gru. I'm... Eggru. Oooh, gottem. Now, to try to log on to my Twitter account once more... Let's see if this computer works.(exhale, inhale) E-G-G.**

"But it didn't work." Jaune said.

"Maybe it will work now." Ruby said.

**Computer: (starting up sounds) **_**Welcome to Twitter. com.**_

**Eggman: (dramatic gasp) Martha, what have you been tweeting about... What the FUCK? Is that Shadow's DICK?!(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"He did it! He fucked his wife! This is priceless!" Yang said while laughing.

**Shadow: **_**I fucked your wife.**_**(laughter)**

They laughed even more.

**Shadow: **_**Now if you'll excuse me, I've got more ladies to go bed with. Isn't that right, Dr. Ivo Robotnik?**_

**Eggman: What in the sam hell is THIS?**

"It must suck getting cucked by hedgehog." Yang said and laughed.

**Shadow: I fucked your wife. Now, there's some other-(WHOOP WHOOP, THAT'S THE SOUND OF THE POLICE)... That rap... it reminds me of HER...(flashback)**

"Cool, a backstory." Ruby said.

"Who was he talking about?" Weiss said.

"You see, Shadow was living in a space station with his best friend Maria. When the project got shut down, the army rushed to kill Shadow. Shadow and Maria were running away, but she got shot." Nova said, shocking everyone.

"That is so sad! Why would they shoot her?" Pyrrha said.

"How did Shadow escape?" Jaune said.

"Before she died, Maria launched Shadow to the space, on a capsule. But the capsule landed on Earth and the army found him. 50 years later, Eggman awakens Shadow." Nova said.

"50 years?" Blake said.

"Yeah. Shadow gave a promise to Maria, to protect life. But after that, he promised to her, revenge."

**Shadow: Maria!**

**Maria: This is me. Hey Shadow.(captures Shadow) Bye Shadow.**

**Shadow: No!**

**Maria: I'm gonna kill you now.**

**Shadow: I- I promise I didn't fart! You don't need to contain it!**

This got a few laughs.

"You farted, now you die." Nora said.

**Maria: It smells so bad.**

**Shadow: That's just you!**

**Maria: It smells like garbage... covered in fire.**

**Shadow: But Maria, you smelt it! Therefore, you are the one who dealt it!**

"Stop! I can't take it!" Yang said, holding her laughter.

**Shadow: You absolute thot!(end of flashback)(laughter) I can't believe it... she betrayed me.**

"Saddest betrayal." Ruby said.

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: Hey, that's...**

**Shadow: That blue hedgehog again, (laughs)of all places.**

"Didn't he already said that?" Weiss said.

"He did." Ren said.

**Shadow: Finally, I have the weed crystal. The weed diamond. The weed-**

**Sonic: Hey! Give that! That looks really scrumptious!**

"Is he stupid?" Weiss said.

"Kinda." Nova said.

**Shadow: No.(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

**Sonic: Please? What if I say pretty please with a cherry on top, covered in a banana sundae?(laughter)**

They laughed even harder.

"That sounded so sexual!" Yang said while laughing.

**Sonic: How 'bout THAT?**

**Shadow: Za WARUDO! Aaaaaaaaa (fart) seeya nerd.**

**Sonic: Huuh? Huh? Za Warudo? More like Za Warudumb. This guy is a real knucklehead! Unlike my friend Knuckles.**

**Shadow: I'm here to show you what Ninten-can-do, and what Za WaruDON'T!**

**Sonic: That doesn't even make any sense.**

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

"Well, you had console wars, right? Which console was better." Nova said.

"Yeah."

"Well, in the 90s, there was the Sega Megadrive, with Sonic, and the Super Nintendo, with Mario. American Sega commercials had the motto _Genesis does what Nintendon't._"

"And which console won?"

"The Super Nintendo. It was way superior."

**[Scene change]**

**Rouge: Huh. His Twitter account. Heh, interesting.**

"So the running gag of the video is Eggman's Twitter." Jaune said.

"Pretty much." Nova said.

**Rouge: Let's see... E-G-G.**

**Computer: **_**Welcome to Twitter. com.**_

**Rouge: Well, that was easy.**

This got a few laughs.

**Eggman: **_**All around me are familiar Eggmans**_

_**Worn out Eggmans**_

_**Worn out Eggma-a-ans**_

"I can't believe he's singing." Blake said, holding her laughter.

**Eggman: **_**Bright and- **_**I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN! OH MY GOD I'M SO SICK!**

**Robots: **_**Please stop. Ouch.**_

**Eggman: Ohhh no, they KNOW, NOT AGAIN!**

**Robots: **_**Please stop. Ouch ouch.**_

Everyone laughed.

"3 more years locked in the building!" Nora said.

"And with the annoying robots!" Ruby said.

**[Scene change]**

**Shadow: Well. I've learned so much from his Twitter... I guess there's only one thing to do now-**

**Eggman: I told you not to FUCK MY WIFE!**

**Shadow: And I did anyway. Whatchu gon' do binch? As you can see, Twitter went through a bunch of updates. This one is the one that makes me go away from yo bitch ass.**

"I didn't know you can do that with social media." Nora said.

**Eggman: I'm going to kill you... and THEN kill you again.(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"What kind of threat is that?" Yang said while laughing.

**Shadow: Anyway, now that I have this emerald, I'm gonna put it right in there!**

**Computer: **_**DRAMA DETECTED. BLOCKING ACCOUNT.**_

"No way! He blocked his account!" Ruby said.

"He just lost his followers." Yang said.

**Eggman: MY FOLLOWER BASE!**

**Shadow: And yet they still can't figure out how to get Nazis off their site.**

**Eggman: You son of a bitch. I'm gonna log into your Twitter account and I'm gonna tell everyone what you said.**

**Shadow: Go ahead. I have 50 alternate accounts.**

Everyone laughed.

"That looked so menacing." Ruby said.

"Who has so many accounts?" Weiss said.

**Shadow: My finger's right on top of the delete button, Eggman. What are you gonna do to stop me, with your long, toothpick legs?**

"He has him now." Blake said.

**Eggman: (villain chuckle) You fool. I have 70 ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS!**

Everyone laughed.

"That's the best plot twist I've ever seen!" Yang said while laughing.

**Eggman: YOU WILL NEVER KNOW MY MAIN!**

**Shadow: Are you referring to eggfucker1, eggfucker2, eggfucker-**

**Rouge: Hey bitches, what's up? Eggman, I found your weed supply through your Twitter account thnx man.**

**Eggman: I told you I had ALTERNATIVES!**

**Rouge: Anyway, I also saw that uh this.. this guy over here fucked your wife, that's pre- that sucks a lot dude. You must be uh, pretty uh, shaken up about that.**

"A hedgehog fucked his wife, that sucks a lot." Blake said.

**Eggman: How do you think I fell being cucked by a HEDGEHOG?!**

Everyone laughed.

**Rouge: Well, it might upset you to know that I also fucked your wife.**

"What?!" Weiss said.

**Eggman: And she had a diamond in her VAGINA?(laughter)**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"The story escalates pretty weirdly!" Jaune said while laughing.

"How did that even fit?!" Yang said while laughing.

"This has gone very sexual. So much that it's gross." Blake said while laughing.

**Shadow: Good job.**

**[Scene change]**

**Eggman: Alright, since team FurAffinity fucked my wife, I'm going to have to have you both be a part of my team. Why is the camera ZOOMING IN?**

"Yeah, why does it zooms?" Jaune said.

"What is FurAffinity?" Nora said.

"Brain cancer." Nova said.

"For real though, what is it?" Yang said.

"A site where people post fanart of anthropomorphic animals."

"Like in cartoons." Ruby said.

"Sometimes. Most of the times it's just porn."

"Wait, you mean that there are people that are physically attracted to anthropomorphic animals?" Blake said.

"Yeah, they are called furries."

"That's gross! That is straight up bestiality!" Weiss said.

"I have a question. Do faunus count as furries?" Nora said.

"What?!" Blake said.

"No, they don't."

"That's a relief."

"Not so fast! Don't forget the weebs."

"I guess I can't escape, can I?"

**Rouge: I mean I gueess that's fine, as long as I get my weed back I don't really care.**

**Shadow: I don't have a character motive.**

"That's a waste of a character." Jaune said.

**Eggman: Listen. We're going to explore this island. You're going to find Sonic. He has all the weed that you need. The gonja, that mary jane. Mari-jamij. All in his pockets. He is your local drug dealer, and I'm going to blow up the island. Now go look for Sonic. And hurry up, you... fucking... cuckhogs.**

"But she is a bat." Ruby said.

"Also, a drug dealing video game character. That's what all the kids want." Yang said.

**[Scene change]**

**Shadow: Ah, summer break. A time for leisure-**

**Amy: A time for rela- oh... wha- wha- a MAAN!(laughter)**

"Oh no, she's back." Weiss said.

"Did she just mistook him for Sonic?" Blake said.

"In the original yes." Nova said.

"I don't get it! Are they blind? I get it in the dark, you can't see the colours that well! But now it's broad daylight! You can't do that mistake!" Weiss said.

"Maybe it's because they think that Sonic is the only anthropomorphic hedgehog?" Jaune said.

"Probably." Blake said.

"But then again, you can clearly see that he's not Sonic." Ren said.

**Amy: Hi there, big boy! What are you doing on this little ol' aircraft- AA!**

**Eggman: Oh Amy- Amy, what are you doing here?**

**Amy: Uh... Nothing! I... was... GOODBYE!**

**Eggman: Geet outta here, you thot ass bitch, you still owe me a hundred dollars! Anyway! We need to go.**

**Amy: Should I jump...? Yes.**

**Eggman: Yeah you're gonna jump, bitch, walk the plank. Yeah, yar har, me- wha.**

**Amy: Mom?**

**Tails: Hey, Eggman! Hey, Amy!**

"Yay, Tails is here!" Ruby said. "In his super cool airplane/walker/car!"

**Amy: Are you my mom?**

**Tails: No. What... the fuck?**

**[Scene change]**

**Shadow: Eggman.**

**Eggman: Shadow! Have you found that goddamn blue marble motherfuckin' son of a bitch?!**

"So much profanity!" Weiss said.

**Shadow: I'm gonna change frequency to your wife.(flashback)**

**Maria: (Maria noise) It smells so bad...**

**Shadow: Rouge, what if you had like, human hair? Would that be weird?**

**Rouge: Probably.**

**Shadow: Alright, cool bye!(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"That was so random!" Pyrrha said.

"I was like, what did that had to do with the flashback?" Yang said.

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: So you've been looking for me, huh?**

**Shadow: Yes. I've been looking to stick my quills right into you, just like a (quill sticking noise) situation.**

The sound made everyone cringe.

**Sonic: Please, PLEASE rephrase.**

"Yes, please do." Weiss said.

**Shadow: No. Right in there. Directly in.**

**Sonic: PLEASE rephrase, I'm beg- ow. You killed me.**

**Shadow: There was penetration, Sonic.**

**[Scene change]**

**Eggman: You have one minute and 25 seconds to get the fuck off of this goddamn rock before I blow it up like Krakatoa blows up a goddamn volcano.**

**Sonic: Huh?**

**Eggman: It's about to be Mt. Fiji in this bitch!**

**Sonic:(gasp) Blows up?!**

**Shadow: You weren't supposed to hear that. Pretend he said "nose up".**

"Kinda difficult." Ruby said.

**[Scene change]**

_**There goes Hawaii,**_

_**There there there goes Hawaii**_

_**Oh there goes Hawaii, the island is gone.**_

_**There goes Hawaii-**_

**(flashback)**

**Maria: Doesn't it look wonderful, Shadow?**

"Aw, a sweet moment with Shadow and Maria." Pyrrha said.

**Shadow: I wanna pee on it.**

Everyone laughed.

"Moment ruined!" Yang said while laughing.

"That's a weird wish." Nora said.

**Shadow: I just... wanna piss on it. Find a rock... get it nice and, you know, psssssss. You feel me, Maria! You get where I'm coming from, right(laughter)? It's like I'm... marking territory. It belongs to me. When *I* do that. A sign of power, if you will(Penny fuckin losing it in the bg). I'm gonna pee in a Hot Topic, Maria(laughter). It will be mine, and I will own it. (End of flashback)**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"How do they think stuff like that?! It's so crazy!" Jaune said while laughing.

"Wait, wait. So if I pee on the academy, it will belong to me?" Nora said and everyone stopped laughing.

"No, it will probably get you expelled." Ren said.

"Aww man."

**Shadow: Well, ten years have passed and I feel the same way, Rouge.**

"He still wants to pee on the world." Ruby said.

**Rouge: You still wanna pee in a Hot Topic?**

**Shadow: Yes, Rouge. Thank you for listening to my insane rambling about peeing in a Hot Topic.**

**Rouge: Listen, I'll take you to a Hot Topic.**

**Shadow: Finally... A place to release myself(laughter).**

"Wait, he's been holding his piss for ten years?" Ruby said. "That's impressive!"

"Yeah, you can't hold it even for one minute." Yang said.

**Rouge: I know you've been holding it for so long...(laughter)**

"That's nice, she cares about him." Ruby said.

**Eggman: What are you two FUCKING talking about?**

**Rouge: Fucking your wife again. And peeing in a Hot Topic. Because, y'know, what else do you do on a Saturday night?**

"I hope something normal." Weiss said.

**Shadow: I peed on your wife, Robotnik. She's mine now(laughter). That's the law.**

**Eggman: What the actual SHIT? WHAT?!**

Everyone laughed.

"Oh man, I didn't expect that!" Yang said, trying to calm down from laughter.

"I think everyone will fuck her wife in the end." Jaune said.

"Yeah, no shit!"

"Oh, here comes the best part!" Nova said.

**[Scene change]**

**Eggman: **_**I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his**_**(Innocent child: Mommy?)**_** hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was "this big"**_**(laughter)**_** and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my : Shadow the Hedgehog, you have a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like**_**(explosion sound)(laughter)**_**. That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong**_**(laughter)**_**. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the Earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LAZER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on thee MOOOON**_**(laughter)(piss boom)**_**! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT**_**(more laughter)**_**! You have 23 hours before the piss drrrroplets hit the fucking Earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!**_

**Penny(I think): (wheezing) Pause it, pause it, pause it, pause it, pause it, pause it, pause it! Please! Please have mercy!**

**Alfred: Pause it, pause it.**

**Penny:(wheeze laughing) Oh my god! I can't-my stomach hurts!**

Nova was laughing nonstop.

"Oh man! I never get bored with this scene! That was hilarious, am I right guys? Guys?". He didn't get an answer from anyone. He saw them and got surprised. They looked like they were dead, with a smile on their face. It turns out that they had a heart attack from laughter. "*sigh* That was the reaction Sonic and his friends had when they saw it. Even Shadow had a heart attack. Well, time to bring them back.". He rubbed his hands together, producing electricity. "STAND BACK!". He shocked them to bring them back. They all sat up, breathing heavily.

"Oh my god!" Ruby said.

"I can't believe that happened!" Jaune said.

"This is insane!" Weiss said.

"I don't think I've ever laughed so much in my life." Ren said.

"Me too." Blake said.

"Do it again! Shock me again!" Nora said.

"What happened?" Pyrrha said.

"You had a heart attack. You couldn't handle that much comedy." Nova said.

"Really?!" Weiss said.

"The last I remember was Eggman pissing on the moon." Yang said.

"Is everybody calm now?"

"I think so." Ruby said.

"Do you want to continue?". It took some time before they answered.

"Continue."

**[Scene change]**

**Eggman: Ugh, oh god... Urgh, what the fuck happened last night?(Eggman confused whats)**

**Shadow: You pissed on the moon, Eggman.**

"With his super lazer piss." Nora said.

"He was drunk when that happened?!" Weiss said.

**Rouge: We're really worried about you. This is an intervention. We're here to help you.**

**Eggman: What are you talking about, I didn't piss on the moon-**

**Shadow: When you piss on the moon- look at the moon, it's in half now from how hard you pissed on it. I'm telling you, this has been a problem for a long time.**

"This conversation is really bizarre." Yang said.

**Eggman: I did nothing s- I, I ju- I woke up, and-**

**Rouge: You did, you pissed on it.**

**Shadow: Listen, we're doing this because we care about you and your wife.**

"Bringing up his wife makes thing worse." Blake said.

**Rouge: Yeah, you pissed on it and you cursed out Obama, it was really bizarre.**

"Who is Obama again?" Ruby said.

"The previous president of the USA." Nova said.

"I wonder what his reaction would be." Nora said.

"I think it would be like _I'm gonna pre_.". This got a few laughs.

" I didn't get it but was funny nevertheless." Yang said.

"I'll show you after that."

**Eggman: Obama is a strong figure to the... America, I would never say such a thing! No way! I'm gonna log onto my Twitter-**

**Rouge: Uh, it's right here, in the news. They-**

"That's Tails with the giant emerald. What is that emerald?" Ruby said.

"That's the Master Emerald. It said that it was created by the gods themselves. A gem with infinite power." Nova said.

"That is so cool!"

**Eggman: What the fuck? Why does Tails have all the fucking weed?!**

Everyone laughed.

"Oh yeah, the weed." Yang said while laughing.

**Eggman: WHY DOES HE HAVE THE WEED? WHY IS MY BODY DOING THIS THING? I'M LIKE A PUPPET ON A STRING!(string sounds) YOU SEE THAT? LOOK AT THAT(laughter)! I put the thing, and then I pull it out, and the(Eggman grunt) pull it out again, and then I look at you and I'm like(deeper Eggman grunt).**

They laughed even more.

"That was so funny and well done accurate!" Weiss said while laughing.

"Why was he moving like that?" Ruby said.

"The game is old." Nova said.

**Eggman: Okay I'm logging on to my Twitter, I'm gonna-(Eggman noises) Imma see what's up. Okay everybody shut up, shut up. Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!**

"That guy is the best." Yang said.

"And don't forget, they recorded the entire thing only once." Nova said.

"You are right, they are the best in improv." Jaune said.

**Rouge: None of us were talking Robotnik.**

**Shadow: I can't believe he came to this intervention drunk(leaves).**

**Rouge: Sometimes it just be like that.(talks to walkie talkie) Hey Sonic, what's up?**

**Sonic: **_**Hey Rouge baby, what's goin' on?**_**(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"She's talking with Sonic?!" Yang said.

"*gasp* She's a double agent!" Nora said.

**Rouge: Nothin' much. They don't- still don't know I'm a double agent.**

"I knew it!"

**Sonic: **_**Heh, oh yeah. Double agent and double-**_

**Rouge: Anyway, my one polygon is waiting for you(laughter).**

Everyone laughed.

"It's the funniest thing I've ever seen!" Yang said while laughing. "My one polygon!" she repeated.

**[Scene change]**

**Shadow: I'm in the middle of nowhere again. I can't find my key- Hey, you know what this place looks like? Looks like PUMPKIN HILL!(sings along to the Pumpkin Hill theme)(laughter)**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"Make it stop!" Ruby said while laughing."

**Shadow: Hey look, it's Tails. Hopefully he didn't hear me call his name. Hey, Sonic. I found Tails.**

**Sonic: **_**Hey what's up? What's up baby?**_

"Even he?!" Weiss said.

"Doesn't Eggman know it?" Ruby said.

**Shadow: I found Tails. He's flying without your permission again. Do you want me to ~punish him~?**

"No, please don't." Pyrrha said.

**Sonic: **_**Noo, don't do that, he's had enough.**_

**Eggman: **_**Why is SONIC on the same line as the VILLAIN LINE?**_

This got a few laughs.

"Busted!" Nora said.

**[Scene change]**

**(Acapella of legend of zelda theme)(laughs)**

"Huh?" Ruby said.

**[Scene change]**

**Rouge: Hey Sonic.**

**Sonic: **_**Hey baby**_**(laughs).**

"Stop it!" Blake said while laughing.

**Eggman: **_**WHY IS- NO. You CAN'T be talking to Sonic anymore. You're not talking to Sonic.**_

**Rouge: You're not my DAD, don't fucking tell me what to DO!**

**Eggman: **_**STOP CALLING SONIC ON OUR EVIL PHONE LINE!**_

**[Scene change]**

**Rouge: So thanks for saving my life. I owe you one.**

**Knuckles: Weeeed!**

**Rouge: Yeah, take this weed! Its all yours. It's- I don't need it anymore.**

"Yeah, she has Eggman's Twitter." Yang said.

**Knuckles: I'm gonna make a gonja sandwich!**

**(HERE COMES THE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEED)**

**Knuckles: Yeah, extra mayo!(laughter) Just the way I like it!**

Everyone laughed.

"That sounded so gay!" Jaune said while laughing.

**Rouge: Have at it.**

**Knuckles: You're- I love you. You're the best woman... ever.**

**Rouge: I love you too. I'll meet you... behind the Denny's.(laughter)**

**Big: **(I don't know what he said.)

"And a love is born." Pyrrha said.

**[Scene change]**

**Eggman: WHO posted my NUDES on Twitter. com?!(laughter)**

They were laughing like crazy.

"His nudes?! Why would they post something like that?!" Weiss said while laughing.

"Are they trying to blind us?!" Blake said while laughing.

"I don't want to see him naked!" Ruby said while laughing.

"I'm pretty sure that no one wants to." Yang said while laughing.

**Eggman: Ohhh no. Ohhhhh no, they put it all the way on the fucking islands. Now everyone's gonna know about my secret egg dick.**

"His what?!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**Eggman: Where do you think you're going, cucker?**

**Shadow: I don't talk to people whose dicks are less than 3 inches.**

"OHHHH! SAVAGE!" Nora said.

**Eggman: Listen to me motherfucker, I know about yours because I crea- I mean... listen you don't need to talk about my dick like that, listen, I just take pride in my egg-shaped dick, okay?**

"Who would be proud of his small dick?" Yang said.

"Wait, Eggman created Shadow?" Ruby said.

"No, it was Gerald Robotnik, Eggman's and Maria's grandfather." Nova said.

"So Eggman and Maria were related and Shadow was like their cousin." Ren said.

"Exactly."

**Eggman: Now I'm gonna go leave because... my dick is actually the nise of this fucking machine. Please behave yourself.**

**Amy: Aaahh... Hum-dee-dum-dee-dum-dum-dum. What? Oh... Where AM I? Why am I in a ship? OH!**

**Eggman: Bitch you are gon get in this car or I'm poppin' between ya eyes.**

**Amy: Wait, I know you! I saw your dick on Twitter!**

**Eggman: OH GOD D-**

Everyone laughed.

**Shadow: Maria...(explosion)(fourteen unfiltered seconds of laughter)**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"That explosion was so well timed!" Yang said while laughing.

"That was so cool and hilarious at the same time!" Ruby said while laughing.

**[Scene change]**

**Rouge: Guess what, Robotnik? I have access to the Twitter headquarters.(laughter) I'm gonna not only post your nudes on your Twitters, but on EVERYONE'S Twitters.**

"She posted the nudes!" Ruby said.

"Plot twist!" Nora said.

**Shadow: Don't do it! His dick is to disturbing for the world to see.**

Everyone laughed.

"I can't believe they're having this conversation about his dick!" Yang said about laughing.

**Shadow: Trust me, I've seen it in person. And the one you leaked? Photoshopped. The real thing is worse, Rouge...(zoom) Th- what was that zoom for?**

"That zoom was unnecessary." Jaune said.

"Maybe that was the part where he learned that she is a double agent." Ren said.

**Rouge: I have this manual of how to hack into the Twitter headquarters, just so I can post it to the whole world, so you better hurry the fuck uo with your explanation before i just do it.**

**Shadow: It somehow looks like every single Tetris block at once.**

"Tetris?" Ruby said.

"The game with the blocks that slowly fall down and you have to get rid off them." Nova said.

"Oh, that game! We have something like that, it's called Cubix."

"Wait, all of the blocks at once? What the hell? How weird is his penis?" Weiss said.

**Shadow: Wait, hold on. Is that Eggman-**

**Eggman: **_**HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING ABOUT MY FUCKING DICK AGAIN?! OH MY GOD! WHEN I SEE YOU IT'S SIGHT! IT IS ON-**_

This got a few laughs.

"He's so pissed." Yang said.

**Shadow: Yeah, piss off. Anyway... begone thot.**

**Rouge: Hey, that's not how you're supposed to speak to a friend. I thought we were friends, Shadow.**

**Shadow: Maybe friends with benefits.**

"What could he win?" Ruby said.

"Her one polygon." Yang said and laughed.

**Rouge: Really?**

**Shadow: No. You got a gross bat face.**

"Oh yeah, she's a bat." Ruby said.

"Be she looks fine." Blake said.

**Rouge: What the fuck you Hot Topic hot sauce motherfucker?(laughter)Why would you even say anything?**

Everyone laughed.

**Shadow: There's nothing hotter than hot sauce, Rouge.**

"Then what aam I?" Yamg said.

"Chinese. You're Chinese, not a Latina." Nova said.

"That doesn't have to do with anything."

**[Scene change]**

_**(WELCOME TO FUNLAND!)**_

**Sonic: What the... I'm here again? It's like a dream-**

**Shadow: Welcome to Funland, Sonic. Also, welcome to the "Fucked Eggman's Wife" club.**

**Sonic: Oh, hey! I'm gald to be here! Do we have jackets?**

"He fucked his wife too?" Blake said and laughed.

"I thought he fucked his crops." Nora said.

"Then he went to his wife." Yang said.

**Shadow: No. But we do have shoes. And they let us run really, really fast.**

**Sonic: Okay. How fast do you wanma run? Two fast? Three fast? Twelve fast.**

"They are so fast." Ruby said.

**Shadow: That's not grammatically correct, you insolent fucko.**

**[Scene change]**

**Shadow: And so then I told Eggman, I swear, it looks like all of them at once, you big Gru-looking binch.**

"They're talking about his dick again?!" Jaune said.

**Sonic: Oh my god, really? Are you telling- that's, that's the truth? It really... every single one of them at once?**

**Shadow: It's true.(screen goes black)**

**Sonic: So if I were to put it in a blender... would that like...**

**Shadow: Yes, that's right. It would still look exactly the same. It defies nature like that.**

"They keep talking about his dick!" Yang said.

**Sonic: Oh my god. That's... that's Lovecraftian!**

**Shadow: Also perish.**

**Sonic: Okay.**

This got a few laughs.

"You have a normal conversation and then you say "also die"." Yang said while laughing.

**[Scene change]**

**(The cast saying words and laughing)**

**Alfred: What the fuck is this?(more words)**

"What is happening?" Ruby said.

"I guess this is the final story." Blake said.

**[Scene change]**

**Eggman: Finally. Y'know what! My nudes are. My Twitter logged in. And my boners are turned off.**

"Your life sucks." Nora said.

**Eggman: I'm gonna fu- what the hell is going on? Who is THIS? (shocked eggman sounds)**

"That's his grandfather?" Weiss said.

"Do they all have big mustaches?" Nora said.

**Eggman: D...d...daddy? Daddy is that you?**

**Gerald: **_**It seems... that as all come today... that I... must... destroy you all... for leeaking my son's nudes.**_

"Now they're paying the price." Pyrrha said.

**Gerald: **_**I cannot believe that this has happened. It is time... for you all... to see... the last thing that you will ever see. As you are destroyed... and as you see my son's Tetris dick...**_

"He ruins his speech when he talks about the nudes." Blake said.

**Gerald: **_**I will make sure... that every waking moment... untli the very last... is the last thing that you will ever breathe.**_

"Man, all kids must have been very disturbed watching that." Yang said.

"They were. That was his last message before his execution." Nova said.

"Execution? The death penalty exists on your world?" Pyrrha said.

"In some states of America."

**Knuckles: Whoa! But I wanted the last thing I breathed to be pot!**

**Eggman: YOU DONE DID IT NOW. I'm so sick. My father's here-**

**Knuckles: I'm so sick of fuckin' your wife! She's a tired old hag!**

"He fucked his wife too!" Yang said while laughing.

**Knuckles: Wait. Where am I?**

**Sonic: Eggman... we can make amends-**

**Eggman: What the fuck, shut the fuck up. Shut the FUCK up. Everykody's fucked my wife!**

"Called it." Jaune said.

**Sonic: Yeah, but we can fix it, I promise. Just join us!**

"Join? That's a pretty terrible thing to say!" Weiss said.

**Eggman: NO! I'm divorcing her ass, I'm throwing your ass in the garbage, I'm throwing all your asses in the garbage, I'm taking your CDs and weed-**

**Rouge: I'm not really sure what this says. I... I can only read basic English.(they all say words)**

"They're not even say the words correctly!" Weiss said.

**Amy: I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO READ!(they keep saying words)**

"Now they're saying random stuff!"

**Eggman: She fuckin'- he fuckin'- she... they fucked my wife! The animals fucked my wife! And then everybody fucking left because the fucking ship wqs gonna be destroyed. She was able to escape because I designed a robot that would be able to pleasure her in such an intense way that I would be able to finally fuck her. BUT IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! BECAUSE SHE DECIDED TO BECOME A FURRY FUCKER AND FUCKED THE WHOLE SONIC THE HEDGEHOG AND SHADOW TEAM! WHICH DIDN'T EVEN FUCKIN MATTER SINCE IT WEENT INTO A NEW ARK AND THEN SHE FUCKED THE WORLD****!**** THE WORLD WAS HER NEXT TARGET. BECAUSE HER JUSSY WAS NOT EVEN PLEASED ENOUGH SO SHE HAD TO HOE HERSELF OUT AND BE THE BIGGEST THHHHHHHOT THAT YOU'VE EVER SEEN! THE WORLD IS GOING TO BE DESTROYED RIGHT NOW. I'M LOGGING OFF.**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"Holy crap!" Yang said while laughing.

"What has been said cannot be forgotten." Nova said.

"I think he lost his sanity." Blake said.

**Rouge: You shouldn't talk about your wife that way.**

**Eggman: I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK. That bitch can fuck off, I divorced her ass three hours ago. I'm so sick. My body's doing THINGS. THAT thing. And you over there? Shut up. And YOU? Take off my pants. You wanna see some weird shit?**

"Please don't." Ruby said.

**Tails: Eggman! You need to calm down.**

**Eggman: I AM- I'mmmmmmmm tired of bein calm all the god damn time! I wanna live my life! And you! You. You. ****You. I'm so sick of you.**

"Yep, he lost his mind." Ruby said.

"After being in a building for three years, getting cucked by everyone and someone posting your nudes, exposing your tiny penis, you would lose your mind." Blake said.

**Rouge: It looks like we won, everybody. We... broke him. Finally.**

**Knuckles: Alright! Do we get to have a big furry orgy now?**

"Eww, don't." Weiss said.

**Sonic: Okay, everybody... Let's stop talking about his dick, okay. It looks like all Tetris pieces at once. Thumbs up!**

This got a few laughs.

"That video deserves a thumbs up." Jaune said.

**Sonic: To make a long fuckin' story short, I put a hole bag of jellybeans up-**

**Alfred:(continues) jellybeans up my ass(laughs).**

Everyone laughed.

"Now I want to hear the story." Nora said.

**[Scene change]**

**Amy: Doo do doo do doo(Big passes). What? I feel like there's a pervert here. Nope! No-(big passes again) wait. Iiiii knew it! I'm the pervert! Hooray!(relieved breathing) Okay.(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"That was... something." Ruby said.

"I'm the pervert!" Yang repeated and laughed.

**Amy: Hey Shadow! Whatcha thinkin' 'bout? Thinkin' 'bout peeing on the world... Thinkin' 'bout-**

**Shadow: More than anything that I've ever thought about in my entire life.**

"Wow, what an ambition." Weiss said sarcastically.

**Shadow: Just imagine it. Warm liquids...**

"Yeah, I'll never drink tea again." Blake said.

**Amy: Well, I have a story for you! When I was a little girl, I used to wet the bed. But that didn't mean it was my bed, 'cause I was a renter. And I started renting my first apartment when I was 6 years old 'cause I'm a self-sufficient woman, and my mom kicked me out for being far too obnoxious. And that's why I... am the TRUE owner of the world. That's rright. All of that you see before you? Everything the piss touches? That is your kingdom. And you, my son, shall go forth and inherit it.**

Everyone laughed.

"What a crazy story." Nora said.

**Shadow: I made a promise to Maria... that I would pee on everything on Earth.(sheds a tear) Wait. Did I just cry?**

"He did cry!" Pyrrha said.

"Because of Maria." Nova said.

"Aww."

**Amy: Whoa, no, hang on, that's not what I saw in the flashback.**

**Shadow: I don't give a shit. I'm gonna go pee now.**

**Ryan: You know what's funny about this?**

**All: What?**

**Ryan: Super Sonic.**

**Penny: No. Stop.**

**Ryan: (an absolute chortle)**

"Super Sonic? He can transform?" Jaune said.

"Using the Chaos Emeralds, anyone can transform." Nova said.

"That's so cool!" Ruby said.

**[Scene change]**

**Knuckles: Man, those balls sure are shakin'(laughter).**

Everyone laughed.

"That sounded so wrong!" Pyrrha said.

**Sonic: Yeah. I've seen something like that before... but only... y'know... in certain circles.**

**Knuckles: FurAffinity, yeah I know I-**

**Sonic: Hey Knuckles, I'm gonna go up and touch 'em.**

**Knuckles: Yeah me... me too.**

"I'm confused, they're gay or not?" Nora said.

"I think they're going to end up gay." Yang said.

**Eggman: You shall revel in nothing but destruction. Shadow could've been a true beast, and NOW YOU SHALL DIE!**

**Ryan: That's actually the story.**

**Alfred: Is it?**

"What was that giant lizard?" Ruby said.

"That was the Ultimate Lifeform. The prototype." Nova said.

"How did they went from a giant lizard to a hedgehog?" Weiss said.

"I don't know."

**[Scene change]**

**Biolizard: I'M GOING TO VORE YOU IN MY MOUTH.**

"Earth has a lot of weird and disgusting fetishes." Yang said.

"You have no idea." Nova said.

**Shadow: No, listen, brother, I'm not into this.**

**Biolizard: I ATE ALL THE FUNYUNS. COME HERE, BROTHER.**

**Shadow: No. They're my funyuns.**

**Biolizard: THEY TASTE LIKE CHERRIES.**

**Shadow: Why do they taste like cherries, brother.**

**Biolizard: I DO HOPE YOU TASTE DELICIOUS NOW COME INTO MY MAAAAAW.**

**Shadow: I'm going to grind on you.**

**Biolizard: NOOOO.**

"That sounded wrong." Blake said.

**Biolizard: MY BUTTON! (pain groan)**

**Shadow: That's right.**

This got a few laughs.

"That scream was funny." Ruby said.

**Shadow: I'm going to take all those ropes you have... and I'm going to make sure there's some knotting going on.**

**Biolizard: (different voice) Brother! I need you to stop trying to hit me! Brother! You've reset my voice module button! Brother!**

"I like this voice." Nora said.

**Biolizard: Aaaaaaaaaaaa(laughter)! I gave birth.**

**Shadow: Well, time to use these bowels to get up there.**

**Biolizard: No, not my babies! Aa-(Chewbacca language)**

Everyone laughed.

**Shadow: There's only one more baby to dispose of...**

**Knuckles: Oh my god, that was the hottest shit I've ever seen.**

**Sonic: Yeah, I know, it was crazy!**

"I think they are gay." Weiss said.

**Knuckles: What is this?**

**Sonic: It's a pad of some kind...**

"It looks like a butthole." Nora said.

"It does!" Ruby said.

**Knuckles: It looks like a butt.**

**Shadow: Alright, Sonic. Let's touch dicks.**

This got a few laughs.

"This will be the best transformation." Yang said waiting for the transformation.

**Sonic: Alright. As we know, my dick is on my hand.(they jerk off)**

**Alfred: And then they jerk off.**

**Sonic: Oh my god, what are we DOING(laughter)?(dramatic gasps)**

Everyone laughed.

**Shadow: Sonic, do you like getting peed on?**

"Oh no." Weiss said.

**Sonic: Yes, I do!**

**Shadow: Do i have good news for you! WOOO!(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"Noo!" Ruby said while laughing.

"The power of the piss!" Nora said.

"That would ruin so many childhoods!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"Or make new ones!" Yang said while laughing.

**Sonic: Whoa, Shadow, you're dehydrated, buddy!**

**Shadow: A little bit.**

**Sonic: What have you been drinking?(no answer)(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"That pause!" Ruby said.

**[Scene change]**

**Biolizard: I have a question for both of you.**

"Man, the song is good!" Yang said.

**Sonic: What's up?**

**Biolizard: If I gave Shadow... fifteen apples...**

"The question of the centuries." Nova said.

**Biolizard: And then Amy gives Shadow another(pained) sixteEEN... and Tails took away three...**

"Tails would get a black eye for taking them." Yang said and laughed.

**Biolizard: My question is...**

Everyone was waiting for the question.

**Biolizard: What's the total mass of the Sun?**

"What?" Blake said.

**Shadow: As Obama told me, it's THREE!**

**Biolizard: You figured it oouuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ut!**

**Sonic: Why does it sound like he's getting farther away?**

**Penny: This is stupid.(general agreement)**

"No shit!"

"What kind of question was that? And the answer!" Weiss said.

"Math problem jokes." Nova said.

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: We have to do it together!**

**Shadow: Let's blow up the moon!**

"Doesn't he mean the space station?" Pyrrha said.

**Sonic: Let's blow it up! (Shadow looks elsewhere)**

**Shadow: Wait, hold on...**

**Sonic: Wait that's no moon, that's a space station.**

**Shadow: Nice reference. I also love Star Trek.(falls) Well, good thing all of Sonic's friends were on that ship.**

"Wait, he's falling? Is he going to die?!" Ruby said.

"No, he survives, but they think he's dead until the next game. Spoiler alert." Nova said.

"Too late." Yang said.

**Shadow: Bye.**

**Sonic: Yep. Seeya.**

**Shadow: I'm dead for real I promise...**

"Couldn't Sonic save him?" Jaune said.

"I don't think he had enough power." Ren said.

**Sonic: Shadow didn't deserve to die for his piss.**

**Amy: Yeah, he did.**

"Shut up Amy." Yang said while laughing.

**Sonic: But here we are...**

**Rouge: Are you sure about that?**

**Sonic: All of you are responsible...**

"But... it wasn't their fault." Ruby said.

**Sonic: He was a good man, with a good heart... Take this ring in remembrance of him.**

**Rouge: I'm gonna eat it.**

This got a few laughs.

"The way she said it." Yang said.

**Sonic: Please d- I mean you can eat it if you want, but I guarantee that that's... not gonna be... partake of the ring.**

**Rouge: Thank you, hedgehog Jesus.**

**Sonic: ... Hey, wait a minute. Doesn't that mean he's gonna come back to ligpfe at some point?**

**Eggman: Aw, that piss-lovin' son of a bitch, I'll miss him.**

"Even after fucking your wife?"

**Eggman: Aw, Tails, hand me another drink.**

**Tails: I think you need... a therapist, and not a bottle.**

**Eggman: I think YOU need to shut your mouth with your three tails, f-nine tailed fix Naruto motherfucker. WeeeeEEEEEW, gottem! Woo!**

**Tails: God, I wish that were me.**

"Nine tail?" Blake said.

"A transformation." Nova said.

**Knuckles: Now that all this piss and scaly porn's goin' on, you wanna... I don't know...**

**Rouge: What?**

**Knuckles: Get... get high, or somethin'... Behind a Denny's-**

**Rouge: Oh, fu- I thought you'd never ask!**

"Aww, they have a date now." Nora said.

**Knuckles: Yeah... Fumie Kumatani, he knows what's up.**

"He said someone from the credits, oh my god!" Yang said while laughing.

**Eggman: Guys. Guys, guys, guys. I gotta... tell you something...**

**Knuckles: What?**

**Sonic: Eggman... stop, okay. You've been broken ever since you spent three years in that building.**

**Amy: Sonic. Sonic! Sonic, can I- **

**Sonic: What?**

**Amy: Sonic. Can I jump on that-**

**Sonic: What?**

**Amy: Can I jump on that diiiiiiiiii-**

**Sonic: No. You can't, okay?**

**Amy: My shoes... my shoes in my reflection are opaque, bye.(laughter)**

**Sonic: Okay.**

"Only the shading can be seen." Weiss said.

**Sonic: I don't know what that means but that's fine. Alright, everybody, I'm gonna bounce. I'm gonna go to Chipotle, I'll see you all later! Uh, if-**

**Eggman: BRING ME BACK A BURRITO.**

**Sonic: Nope. If you want something, go get it yourself, buddy.**

**Eggman: SONIIIIiiiiic!**

This got a few laughs.

"That was the best!" Ruby said.

"If you don't consider the fact that we had a heart attack, then it sure was." Yang said.

"Eggman was the best!" Nora said.

"And Shadow was the coolest!" Ruby said.

"Alright, let's take a break and then we'll continue." Nova said.

**And done! Finally! It was very big! Next is another Game Grumps animated. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	34. Game Grumps animated Doki Doki mode

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 33:**** Game Grumps animated doki doki mode**

After their break, the continued watching videos.

"Alright, what's next?" Nova said.

"I don't know, you choose." Yang said.

"Okay."

**Dan: The aim of Doki Doki mode is to make girls fall in love with you.**

**Arin: No, it's not.**

"Hey, it's the Game Grumps!" Ruby said.

**Dan: You can touch the girls gently using the rhombus buttons.**

**Arin: Oh, that's nice.**

"What game are they playing?" Jaune said.

"Gal Gun. A game where every girl is in love with you and you must shoot them to stop loving you, except for the one you want to love you."

"And the touching part?" Blake said.

"Extra points. You need to touch them in places they like."

"That's a very weird game." Weiss said.

**Dan: Girls have places they particularly like to be touched. You'll be able to judge by their reaction. When the girl is dizzy, that's your time to strike! What the f-**

**[Intro]**

"Exactly, what?" Yang said.

**Arin: I'm gonna touch the butt.(touches butt)I'm gonna touch the butt.**

This got a few laughs.

"I have no words to describe it." Blake said.

"That's the game? And she likes it?" Yang said.

"I like how he touches her butt." Ruby said, while giggling.

**Dan: Are you see- This is the game!?**

**Arin: I'm gonna touch the butt! I'm gonna touch the butt!(gets kicked)**

Everyone laughed.

"He didn't touch her properly." Yang said.

**Arin: I took her out on a dnice date, got her dinner. And it was personified by touching her butt a bunch.**

**Dan: Yeap.**

"Love is weird." Ruby said.

**Arin: This is how it's done, right?**

**Dan: Uh, pretty close. You're asking me?**

**Arin: I don't know, maybe you know! You're the- you're the love guru.**

**Dan: Aw, that's very-**

**Arin: You're fucking Danny Sexbang.**

**Dan: Aw, that's very kind of you.**

"Danny Sexbang?" Blake said.

**Dan: Now that we've toyeed with that girl's emotions...**

**Arin: (laughs) Let's find someone else to torture!**

**Dan: Yeah.**

"When they say it that way, it sounds very bad." Pyrrha said.

"Why are the girls in love in the first place?" Weiss said.

"Because a love angel shot the protagonist with a strong love bullet by accident and now they're all in love." Nova said.

"Who would make a game like that?"

"Japan. It's always Japan. When it's about love, they have a weird and perverted imagination. From normal panty shots to worm vore and tentacle porn."

"Vore? Who gets an erection from watching someone getting eaten?!" Yang said.

"The Japanese obviously!". Then everyone looked at Ren.

"I'm not into that stuff." Ren said.

**Arin: What am I doing? Am I like...(shoots girl)**

"He just shot her in the face!" Yang said while laughing.

"That's the only thing you do? Shoot and touch?" Ruby said.

"It's a love game, what did you expect?" Weiss said.

**Dan: You're just trying to incapacitate them so you can find your true love.**

"For something very weird, it's actually a nice and funny story." Blake said.

**Dan: How would you reload?**

**Arin: I don't know.**

**Dan: Like you take your dick in your hand and you're just like (cocking noise)?(both of them laughing)**

"When you expect a joke like that, it's not that funny." Yang said.

**Dan: Wa-watch out behind you.**

**Arin: Shit. Shit.**

**Dan: Jesus, they're surrounding you.**

**Arin: How do you like that shit?(shoots girl)**

**Dan: Drop to your knees, baby baby.**

**Arin: Bang! Hit her right in the face. Aw yeah yeah. Oh, no not in the face.**

"Wrong place." Blake said.

**Dan: Aw dude you're not touching her the way she likes.**

**Arin: Uh, there we go, there we go. Shoulders?**

"Yeah, poking is so hot." Yang said.

**Dan: No!**

**Arin: It changes.**

**Dan: Oh wow.**

This got a few laughs.

"I'm pretty sure that no girl feels something by getting touched in the arm." Weiss said.

"The sexiest place." Yang said.

**Arin: Aw yeah, right in the back!**

**Dan: Aw no you're not gonna touch her!**

**Arin: Shit, I'm gonna fuck up!**

**Dan: Aw nooo!**

"He's losing her!" Ruby said.

**Arin: She likes it in the back! She likes it in the back! Give me the back! Give me the back! Give me the back! Give me the back!**

"Meanwhile Danny is flirting with her." Yang said.

**Both: (incoherent scream)**

"He should touch her lower."

**Dan: You found her spot right at the end!**

**Arin: I wasn't good enough! Dammit dude.**

**Dan: Oh well.**

**Arin: I got nothing for that.**

**Dan: It's okay.**

**Arin: My Doki Doki bomb won't even explode.**

**Dan: Can't win them all.(he leaves with the girl)**

"And he takes the girl." Blake said.

"No wonder they call him Sexbang." Yang said and laughed.

**(Outro)**

**Arin: Like, what if there's all these girls down there, like, congregating, drinking water out of the river like-**

**Girl: (incoherent slurping) THERE HE IS.**

**Small girl: Come, river monsters.**

This got a few laughs.

"See boys, if you want a girl to fall in love with you, you have to touch them in a place they like. If you don't, _that's no good." _Nova said and everyone laughed.

"Best PSA ever." Yang said.

**And done! I originally wanted the Obama animated but I changed my mind. Next up will be a try not to cry challenge. You watched them laugh, now you're gonna watch them cry. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	35. Real death note

**Hey everyone! I know I said that I was going to do a try not to cry chapter but I don't have the writing skills and the vocabulary to do it. Sorry.**

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 34:**** Real Death Note**

"So, what's next?" Ruby said.

"Oh, I know! It's an old one." Nova said.

**[Smosh intro with Death Note theme]**

**Ian: (thinking) I'm so bored. I just wish something supernatural would happen right now.(a death note falls in front of him)**

"And it happened." Blake said.

"That would never happen in real life." Weiss said.

"I don't know. I started whining and Nova came." Ruby said.

"Oh yeah. Also, that contest thing was BS, right?" Yang said.

"It was, I was just bored." Nova said.

"Wait, that day you said I was the second. Who was the first?" Ruby said.

"Sonic."

"Really?!"

"Yeah, one day I wanted him to watch stuff his fans made on Earth."

"What was his reaction when you told him that he's a video game character?" Jaune said.

"Nothing, he found it pretty normal. You know, if you traveled through time and space a few times and fought literal gods, nothing surprises you."

**Ian: (thinking) What the hell? (opens the death note) If you write the full name of a person in this book, that person will die in 5 seconds. The cause of death will alwaays be suffocation?**

"What kind of notebook is that?!" Pyrrha said.

"That's a death note. Death gods write the name of someone whose time is up and their cause of death. It's an anime." Nova said.

"Japanese people have great imagination." Jaune said.

**Ian: (thinking) Ha. Right.**

**Woman: Let go! Help! (Ian is watching her getting robbed) This man's trying to steal my purse! Let go!**

"Is that a handicapped thief?" Yang said and laughed.

"He looks like an old cartoon villain." Ruby said.

**Thief: (laughs evilly) The name's Cecil Adams, the most notorious handicapped bandit west of the Mississippi! (continues laughing)**

"Oh no, who's gonna stop him?" Nora said.

**Ian: (thinking) Huh. Let's see... Cecil... Adams.(sees the time on his SpongeBob watch)**

"I never noticed that, we have the same watch." Nova said.

"You have a watch that is obviously for kids? How childish can you be?" Weiss said.

**Ian: (thinking) Man, I knew it was fake.**

**Cecil: (gasps and suffocates himself)**

**Ian: (thinking) No way!**

"He's suffocating himself!" Nora said.

"That notebook is the real deal!" Yang said.

"If someone had a death note, it would be very bad for everyone." Jaune said.

"No one must have that kind of power." Ren said.

"Yes, but imagine having it. You would get rid off all the criminals." Weiss said.

"Yes, but not like that. That's inhuman." Blake said.

**Cecil: (dies and crashes at a tree with hyper realistic explosion)**

This got a few laughs.

"Ten out of ten." Yang said.

**Ian: (gasps)**

**Random guy 1: Did that guy just choke himself to death?**

**Random guy 2: Cool. Didn't think that was possible.**

"But it is possible." Weiss said.

**Ian: (thinking) Sweet mother of God.**

**[Scene change]**

**Anthony: So, you write any person's name in that thing and they die?**

**Ian: Of suffocation.**

**Peter: Like, they suffocate themselves?**

**Ian: Yeah, in any way possible, I guess.**

**Anthony: I thought it was impossible to suffocate yourself.**

**Peter: Yeah, why don't you prove it? Write my name in there.**

"Oh no. He's dead." Ruby said.

**Ian: Um... okay. All right, Peter, what's your last name?**

**Peter: Peter.**

"Wait, his last name is Peter? Like, Peter Peter?" Jaune said.

**Ian: No, your last name.**

**Peter: Peter.**

**Anthony: So, your full name is Peter Peter?**

**Peter: My parents are crack addicts.**

**Anthony and Ian: Ohh.**

Weiss facepalms. "This is stupid." she said.

**Ian: Okay... Peter Peter. Here we go. (time passes)(wind whistles)**

"Nothing happened." Ruby said.

"It must have been a coincidence." Weiss said.

"Wait for it." Blake said.

**Peter: I knew you guys were full of sh-(suffocates)**

**Anthony:(gasps) Oh my god!**

"There it is."

"It must be terrible watching your friend trying to kill himself in front of you." Yang said.

**Peter: (choking) Make it stop!**

**Ian: Uh... I don't know if I can!**

**Peter: (dies)**

**Anthony: Oh, my God, dude, you gotta get rid of that thing!**

**Ian: No! Don't you get it, Anthony?**

"The power took over his mind." Ren said.

"What does that mean?" Nora said.

"It means that he thinks he's god." Nova said.

**Ian: With this book, I can change the world. I can rid this world of all the filth!(Death note montage) Serial killers... Robbers...**

"It got very dramatic. Is the anime that dramatic?" Ruby said.

"I like how he took the money bag to suffocate." Yang said.

"Yes, it is." Nova said.

**Ian: Cast of the Jersey Shore...("I don't know her name before I never watched it" chokes on pickles)**

This got a few laughs.

**Ian: I am going to purify this world. And nobody... is gonna get... in my way! I... Am...(red eyes) Justice!(laughs maniacally)**

"That is the laugh of a madman." Jaune said.

"Do I look that threatening when I do that?" Yang said, talking about her eyes.

**Ian's mom: Quiet down out here. I can't hear Wheel of Fortune over your stupid laugh.**

"She didn't even notice the dead body." Blake said.

**Ian: You can't tell me what to do anymore, Mom! (writes her name)**

"He's going to kill her mother! How terrible is that!?" Pyrrha said.

**Ian: You're gonna die, Mom.(chuckles)**

**Ian: (nothing happened) But that doesn't make any sense!**

"Nothing happened. What is going on?" Ruby said.

"I think I know what he did." Jaune said.

**Ian: I wrote your whole name on here! Look!(shows that he wrote Mom)**

Everyone laughed.

"I knew it! He wrote Mom!" Jaune said while laughing.

"How did you know?" Pyrrha said.

"One of my sisters did that when she was little."

"That's so adorable and stupid at the same time." Nova said.

**Ian's mom: My name's not Mom, dumbass.**

**Ian: I've called you Mom all these years, and I don't even know your real name?**

**Ian's mom: And you never will. (laughs sinisterly)(ninja vanish)**

Everyone laughed.

"Plot twist!" Yang said.

"The fact that your mom wants to be in your dumb videos is crazy." Weiss said.

**Ian: Never mind that. I have work to do.**

**[2 months later]**

**(Ian and Anthony are in a cafe, when the TV shows a news report)**

**Host: **_**According to sources, every criminal in the world is now dead.**_

"He did it. He killed every criminal." Jaune said.

"And now that they're all dead, what is he going to do?" Ruby said.

"Now, he will probably kill anyone that he doesn't like. That's what everyone does." Blake said.

**Anthony: Whoa. Congrats, man, that's great.**

**Ian: It's not enough.**

"Called it."

**Anthony: But you killed every criminal in the entire world.**

**Ian: That guy's looking at me funny. (A guy with a name card looks at him)**

"And of course he has a name card." Weiss said.

"How else the story would progress?" Yang said.

**Anthony: Looks pretty normal to me.**

**Ian: I don't like it. I don't like it one bit!(writes the name)**

"Wait, what were the other names?" Ruby said.

**Ian: (Hansel chokes himself and dies) That's better.**

"Okay, did nobody watched him die?" Weiss said.

**Anthony: Dude, he didn't even do anything!**

**Ian: Come on, he had a pedo-stache. I'm sure he's guilty of something.**

"That's an early and probably incorrect assumption." Pyrrha said.

**Anthony: You have to stop this, man. You can't play God anymore!(a life note falls and he opens it)**

"Life note?" Blake said.

"He's going to bring him back!" Ruby said.

**Anthony: Write the name of a person who is dead, and they will be brought back to life?(writes the name of Hansel and he comes back to life)**

"He acts like nothing happened! This is stupid." Weiss said.

**Ian: Oh, I see how it is. You think you decide who lives and dies?!(laughs maniacally while writing Hansel's name again and he dies)**

**(Anthony does that too and they're going back and forth)**

Everyone laughed.

"Poor guy. He's dying over and over again." Yang said while laughing.

**Ian: You'll never defeat me!**

**Anthony: Yes... I... will!**

**Ian: Fine!(writes something down and shows Anthony's name written)**

"Oh no! Quick, write your name!" Ruby said.

**Anthony: You son of a bitch.(he writes something and shows Ian's name written)**

"What? How is that going to help?" Pyrrha said.

**Ian: (scoffs) What's that gonna do?**

**Anthony: You'll see.**

"He switched them!" Blake said.

"What?" Yang said.

"He switched the notebooks while he wasn't looking!"

**Ian: Wait.(removes the fake cover, revealing the life note) No!**

**Anthony: (removes the fake cover, revealing the death note) The old switcheroo.(chuckles)**

"I knew it!"

**Ian: (suffocates himself and dies while Anthony laughs maniacally)**

**Books are dangerous.**

**Play more video games.**

"That's a great message." Nora said.

"Yeah, no books!" Ruby said.

"That's a terrible message!" Weiss said.

"But it's true, they are dangerous." Yang said, teasing her more.

"They're not!"

"Except for the Necronomicon." Nova said.

"The what?" Blake said.

"Necronomicon, the book of the dead. I have in my house to keep it safe."

"Why don't you destroy it?" Jaune said.

"Because that would be catastrophic for everyone."

"Hmm, seems logical." Yang said.

**And done! Next up is When people take anime too far, if you tell me the names because I don't know them. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	36. Anime in real life

**Hey everyone. I know I said that I'll do When people take anime too far, but there are some points that I don't understand what are they saying. Seriously, who understands ebonics? Sorry. From now on, I won't say what I'll do next, so that I won't disappoint anyone.**

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 35:**** Anime in real life! (by nigahiga)**

"Alright, let's watch something else. I got a good one." Nova said.

**ANIME in real life...**

"In real life? This should be fun." Ruby said.

**DRAGON BARRU Z**

**Goku: I have to do this. All this people that are waiting on me. This has gone long enough. This ends now!(powers up)**

"I noticed it now, when they power up they look like they're taking a big shit." Yang said and laughed.

**Goku: (takes a shit) Ohh... ohh.**

Everyone laughed.

"He did take a shit!" Yang said while laughing.

**Vegeta: Dude, stop pushing so hard. That's why you keep getting hemorrhoids.**

"Eww!" everyone said.

"We didn't need to hear that!" Weiss said.

**YU-GI-OH!**

**Yugi: It's time to DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- Duel!**

"Why did he say it like that?" Ruby said.

"Because of the 4kids opening. Everyone knows that." Nova said.

**Therapist: Now remember Yugi, when you start to stutter go ahead and calm down and take it slow.**

**Yugi: It's time to d- du- duel.**

**Therapist: Very good.**

"That was a lame sketch." Nora said.

**POKÉRÉMON**

**News anchor: And now to Pallet Town where a local man was found guilty of animal cruelty.**

"What?" Pyrrha said.

"I guess taking Pokémon and training them to fight other trainers' Pokémon is illegal." Blake said.

"He made a cool game an animal cruelty simulator." Yang said.

**Reporters: Ash! Ash! Ash! Ash!**

**Reporter 1: Is it true that you abused animals?**

**Ash: No comment.**

**Reporter 1: What do you have to say to people who capture wild animals and keep them in confined balls?**

**Reporter 2: What about the accusation you are part of a pet underground battling society?**

"Like a fight club?" Jaune said

**Ash: No comment.**

**Reporter 3: Do you regret picking a Pikachu?**

**Ash: No comment.**

"What is a Pikachu?" Ruby said.

"This." Nova said and showed a photo of a Pikachu. The girls were like 'Aww'.

"It's a cute yellow mouse." Pyrrha said.

"That can produce electricity."

"That sounds cool! Who would regret picking it?" Ruby said.

**Reporter 3: Ash, what about the threesome with you, Brock and Misty?**

"The what?" Weiss said.

"Did he just say threesome?" Yang said.

**Ash: Hey... It was always just Brock.**

Everyone laughed.

"I didn't expect to hear that!" Blake said while laughing.

**NARUTO!**

**Sasuke: Naruto!**

**Naruto: Sasuke!**

**Sasuke: Naruto!**

**Naruto: Sasuke!**

**Sasuke: Naruto!**

**Naruto: Sausage!**

"What? Sausage?" Ruby said.

"Was that like intentional or was it a mistake?" Jaune said.

**Sasuke: What?**

**Naruto: Oh oops.**

**Sasuke: Did you just call me sausage? That's not even a good joke.**

"It would be better if he said Sasex or something." Yang said.

"Or keep going shouting their names. That's what happened in the show." Nova said.

"That was probably a weird moment." Jaune said.

**Naruto: No no no no. Sorry, uh the script must have autocorrected Sasuke to sausage.**

"I hate when my scroll autocorrects stuff I don't want. It's annoying." Weiss said.

**Sasuke: You know I was just going to hurt you, Naruto. But know I'm going to kill you! Prepare yourself, Naruto.(he then perform a big jutsu: Monkey, boar, snake, dragon)**

"What is he doing?" Ruby said.

"He's performing a jutsu." Nova said.

"But doesn't it take some time to perform one?" Yang sais.

"They have probably learned to do them fast." Ren said.

**Sasuke: (Earth worm, bumblebee)**

"I don't think that is part of the jutsu." Ruby said.

**Sasuke: (Bullshit)**

Everyone laughed.

"He's just doing random stuff now." Blake said

**Naruto: Are you gonna do it, or?**

**Sasuke: Just shut up, okay? Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to remember all of this?**

**Naruto: I mean, do you really have to do all that sign language? I mean, we already have subtitles.**

**Sasuke: I said, shut up!**

**Naruto: Okay sorry. Geez.**

"It must be a big one. How does he remember it?" Jaune said.

"And why sign language? Can't he just do what he wants without all that?" Weiss said.

**Sasuke: (Llama and/or alpaca spitting at each other)**

"Okay, this got stupid. Just to perform a move?"

**Sasuke: (Surprise! There's a spider crawling on the floor so you grab a tissue and squish it, but you misses and now it's crawling up your arm. Holy shit)**

This got a few laughs.

"Hurry up!" Yang said.

"I hate spiders." Weiss said.

**Naruto: Seriously, how much longer are you gonna-**

**Sasuke: I was almost done! Can you just let me finish?**

**Naruto: Fine! Just hurry up.**

**Sasuke: Okay. Now where was I?(Holy shit. He then took a stance) Say goodbye, Naruto.**

"Finally, some action." Nora said.

**Sasuke: (screams)**

**Naruto: SASUKE! (charges at Sasuke. Before he stabs him, Sasuke does his move)**

"Is he dead?" Ruby said.

"Probably not." Blake said.

**Naruto: (the smoke clears, revealing that he stabbed a sausage) SAUSAGE!**

Everyone laughed.

"A sausage!" Yang said while laughing.

"All that to replace himself with a sausage?" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**SAIROR MOOOOOOON!**

**Moon: I mean, it's cool that they put us in this magazine and all, but I don't really appreciate how they photoshopped us.**

**Jupiter: Hey Sailor Moon, I mean, I know you're the leader and all, but I was wondering, maybe we could switch planets for this year?**

**Mars: Yeah, we should do that.**

**Saturn: Yeah, I wouldn't mind that.**

**Moon: No, Sailor Jupiter. We've been through this. The planets represent who we are.**

"Why is the moon the leader? Shouldn't the biggest planet be the leader?" Nora said.

**Jupiter: But, I want to be Sailor Moon!**

**Moon: You're too big to be a moon! You're the biggest one! That's why you're Jupiter!**

"Calling a girl fat is very mean." Weiss said.

**Jupiter: Ugh, you bitch! I'm self-conscious.**

This got a few laughs.

**Moon: And, Sailor Saturn, you're the only one that can hula hoop here.**

**Saturn: I said I know hula. I never said hula hoop!**

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

"Saturn has rings around him. Look." Nova said and showed a photo of Saturn.

"That's so cool."

**Mars: And I can hula hoop a little bit. I can switch with Saturn.**

**Moon: No, because you have to be Mars. You're the manliest one, and men are from Mars.**

**Mars: Well, if men are from Mars, then women have to be from Venus and Sailor Venus don't look very womanly.**

"She's fine." Blake said.

**Moon: Actually, that saying is wrong.**

**Mars: What?**

**Moon: Women aren't from Venus. Hermaphrodites are.**

"Hermaphrodites? Really?" Weiss said.

"So Sailor Venus has a penis and a vagina." Yang said and laughed.

**Mars: Hermaphrodites? You mean people with both parts?**

**Moon: Yeah, a penis and a vagina.**

**Venus: I don't even want to switch planets! I'm proud to have a **_**vagina-penis! I'm proud to have a **_**Venus!**

Everyone laughed.

"Her voice got low and then high again!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"Vagina-penis, venus." Yang said while laughing.

**Uranus: Well, why I can't be Sailor Moon? I moon just as many people as you do.**

"What a slut." Blake said.

**Moon: Yeah, but I keep my shorts on, Sailor Uranus.**

Everyone laughed.

"Your anus?" Jaune said while laughing.

"Its the name of the planet." Nova said.

"So there's a planet called your anus?" Yang said.

"The name is actually the Greek word ουρανός, which means sky."

"Ohhh." everyone said.

**Uranus: Are you slut shaming me?(every sailor argues)**

"I liked how Sailor Mars was scratching her armpit." Yang said and laughed.

**Pluto: Guys, can I not be Pluto anymore?(the arguing continues) Guys? Oh yeah. I'm not part of the group anymore.**

"Why isn't she a part?" Jaune said.

"Because, a few years ago, they announced that Pluto wasn't a planet anymore. He is so small that it's not a planet." Nova said.

**Mars: Hey guys, smell your armbands. It's so(burps)(the arguing continues)**

**Venus: (chuckles) **_**Girls, right**_**?**

"But she is a girl." Nora said.

"She's both, remember? And a boy and a girl." Blake said.

**Venus: Uh, what is that supposed to mean? **_**No, no, no, no, I just meant that girls fight a lot.**_

"And guys don't?" Ruby said.

"They mean that they use their fists instead of arguing." Weiss said.

"Punching is better than arguing." Yang said.

**Venus: And guys don't? **_**Yeah, I mean- but we just use our fists! **_**So do we!(punches herself, himself, whatever)**

Everyone laughed.

"She punched herself! Himself? It's complicated." Ruby said while laughing.

**BREACHERU!**

**Ichigo: If you're looking for strength, if you're looking for a small blade, if you're looking...to become stronger than you've ever been before-**

"That show looks cool! What is it about?"

"It's about death gods, taking care of evil souls." Nova said.

"Cooool." Ruby and Nora said.

**Ichigo: -then come on down to Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes!**

This got a few laughs.

"A barber shop?" Weiss said.

**Ichigo: Where we cut and hairstyle- ALL anime heroes! Men hairstyles to women hairstyles, short, long, horny, we do it all here at Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes!**

"Horny?" Yang said and laughed.

**Ichigo: You want that Super Saiyan look without all that Super Saiyan training? Well, I'm sayin', here at Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes, of course we're gonna specialize in bleach and hair! **

"Well, I already have the look."

**Ichigo: We bleached some of the most famous heroes in anime! Heroes you probably thought were AALL natural! Goku to Naruto to Lucy from Fairy Tail! We even bleached Sailor Uranus!**

Everyone laughed.

"That sounded so wrong!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**Ichigo: I mean, Pikachu used to be brown, but we got to him! 'Cause like the saying goes "You can't be a real anime hero, without cool anime hair!"**

"What about bald people?" Nora said.

**Ichigo: (Saitama appears) Oh.**

Everyone laughed.

"Who was that?" Ruby said.

"Saitama from One Punch Man. He beats his opponents with only one punch." Nova said.

"All his opponents? He's sounds overpowered." Jaune said.

"He is overpowered."

**ATTAT O TITA**

**(A titan appears)**

"What is that face?" Weiss said.

"Well, all the titans look weird. To ugly faces to completely skinless." Nova said.

"Skinless? That sounds painful." Ruby said.

**Human: No. Noooooooo~!(now a titan)**

This got a few laughs.

"Ok, that was good." Blake said.

**Titan: No what?**

**Human: (panting) You- your shoelaces are untied. You almost fell and uh... hit these bricks down.**

**Titan: Hey, thanks man. That's really nice of you.**

**Human: Yeah. Yeah!(runs and becomes small again) Yeaaaaaaaa~!**

**Titan: (ties his shoelaces and accidentally let's the bricks fall on the human)**

Everyone laughed.

**One punch man**

"That was lame." Nora said.

**Ryan: Are you supposed to be One Punch Man?**

**Saitama: Yeah.**

"He doesn't look like much." Yang said.

**Saitama: I can pretty much defeat any anime hero with one punch.**

**Ryan: Every anime hero?**

**Saitama: Yeah.**

**(Bleach sketch)**

**Ichigo: "You can't be a real anime hero without cool anime hair!"(Saitama enters)**

"Oh, it's continuing the previous sketch!" Ruby said.

**Ichigo: Oh. Not too sure what I can do with that.**

"He could wear a wig." Weiss said.

**Ichigo: I guess I could paint an arrow on your head, you could look like Aang.**

**Saitama: Delivery?**

**Ichigo: Oh! Thank god.**

**Saitama: Just, uh, sign here.**

**Ichigo: I don't remember ordering anything but...(opens the box) Wait, I don't think I ordered this.**

"Coloured rocks?" Jaune said.

**Saitama: You're from Bleach, right?**

"Oh no." Nova said.

"What's wrong?" Ruby said.

**Ichigo: Yeah.**

**Saitama: Yeah, that was for you.**

**Ichigo: I don't even know what these are. What are these? Like coloured rocks?**

**Saitama: Yes, it says here thaat they are rocks, but it's a French brand. So it's not "color", it's "colour"... rocks.**

"I forgot about it." Nova said.

"About what?" Jaune said.

**Ichigo: What?**

**Saitama: It's Clorox Bleach.**

**ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUN-CH!**

Yang started laughing like crazy.

"I forgot about the puns!" Nova said.

"That was good." Yang said.

"Oh boy." Ruby said.

**(Dragon ball sketch)**

**Saitama: (drags balls)**

**Goku: Wha- what are you- what are you doing here?**

**Saitama: Just... draggin' balls. See?**

**ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN-CH**

Yang laughed even more and everyone else groaned.

**(Attack on titan sketch)**

**Saitama: Hey man! What's with all the commotion?**

**Titan: My shoes keep going untied, no matter how hard I tighten them-**

**Saitama: Oh, I've got the perfect thing for you.(shows a tack)**

"A tack?" Blake said.

**Titan: What is that?**

**Saitama: It's a tack.**

**Titan: How is that going to help me tighten my shoes?**

**Saitama: Just stick it into your shoelace and it gets tighter.**

**Titan: What?**

**Saitama: It's a tack to tighten.**

**ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-**

She couldn't stop laughing.

"Make it stop already." Weiss said.

**Guy: Oh cool! This Fairy Tail shirt's only $9.99!**

**Saitama/**Yang: **I guess you could say it's some pretty "fair retail".**

**ONE PUUUUUUUUUUU-**

"I can't- this is so hilarious!" Yang said while laughing.

**(Kirby on TV)**

**Saitama: You suck.**

**ONE PUUUU-**

Now everyone laughed.

"Why was that funny?" Blake said.

**Ryan: Okay! Enough with the bad puns already! Okay, I get it. One Pun-ch Man. Okay, you make puns. Very funny, I get it. **

**Saitama: Actually, I'm not One Punch Man anymore.(holds a paper with the square root of 4)**

"Square root of 4?" Weiss said.

**Ryan: What? The square root of 4? What? I don't get it.**

**Saitama: I'm "four-root" punch.**

**FRUIT PUUUUUUU-**

"Oh come on." Blake said. Yang was laughing nonstop.

**Ryan: Seriously? Fruit Punch? That's the best you can do?**

**Saitama: Si.**

**JUAN PUUUUUU-**

They couldn't control their laughter.

"What?" Weiss said while laughing.

**Ryan: Okay now, you really did go too far. You can't make that joke. You're Asian.**

**Saitama: I know. That's why now I'm... Punchink.**

**PUNCHIIIIIIIIIII-**

"I didn't got that one." Yang said.

**Ryan: Okay, you really did just cross the line on that one.**

**Saitama: Actually, I'm uh... still on it.**

"At least it's only one left." Weiss said.

**Ryan: Look. Enough is enough already. A- aren't you supposed to be One Punch... just one pun? How many puns did you made already?**

**Saitama: I don't know. Anywhere from one to a ton.**

**Ryan: What?**

**Saitama: (eats Won ton)**

**WON TOOOOOOOO-**

This got a few laughs.

**Ryan: Aha! See? I tricked you! You crossed the "too-many-puns-for-one-video" line and now you can't make anymore. So now, I can finally end this video without a dumb pun.**

**Saitama: Well, you didn't say that was a rule.**

**Ryan: Well, it is! You crossed the line, so you can't make anymore puns.**

**Saitama: If you say so.**

"Come on, one more." Yang said.

**Ryan: Yes, I do!**

**Saitama: But just so I'm clear, this line represents the last pun of the vidoe, right?**

**Ryan: Yeah.**

**Saitama: So, technically then, this line is kind of like the line I'm saying right now.**

**Ryan: What?**

**Saitama: Because it's the last...**(Yang:) **punch line.**

**ONE PUUUUUU-**

**TEE-HEE!**

Yang was laughing her heart out.

"Oh man, what a video." Yang said.

**And done! Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	37. Jaboody Dubs

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 36:**** Jaboody dubs (3 videos)**

"Time for some commercials." Nova said.

"Commercials?" Ruby said.

"Funny commercials."

**Smart Mop dub**

**Did you know that more than 2 million children die each year due to dehydration, which really sucks you know, someone should do something about that, but hey check out this mop I've gotten here, it's called the Smart Mop.**

"What?" Blake said.

"What does dehydration has to do with a mop commercial?" Jaune said.

"None." Nova said.

**All you got to do is dunk it and grip it real tight you know, give it a nice double handed Indian burn, right there on the pee-pee, and you're ready to clean. Now what's great about the Smart Mop is you actually get smarter while you use it it and it's so much fun I think I'll get on my heels. Whoo! Woohoo.**

This got a few laughs.

"A mop that makes you smarter? Genius!" Nora said.

**Okay, now that that's all cleaned up the mop is nice and heavy so you can put it over your head a just like this and get a nice upper-body workout. And after your workout you need a protein shake. Look how much money you're saving, you're so goddamn smart!**

Everyone laughed.

"The best mop ever!" Nora said.

**Dandruff. Blood. Boogers, i-it does it all.**

"That was gross." Weiss said.

"Also, dandruff? He could have said something better, like vomit." Yang said.

**What are you gonna use, that fucking Swiffer sweeper bullshit? What are you, stupid? No, you're smart. I'm actually too smart for this so I have twist handles shoved up my ass right now as I'm mopping this up for you, not only because it's more of a challenge, but I also don't need to buy toilet paper.**

Everyone got disgusted and laughed.

"He's too smart, he uses his butt!" Nora said.

"That's the exact opposite!" Weiss said.

"You're using toilet paper, you are not smart." Yang said to tease her.

"And you don't?" Blake said.

"Shut up."

**(grunts) There you go. Toss it in with your rainbow blankets.**

**Woman: Eww, yuck!**

**I bet you're on your knees covered in shit right now. And that brawny is gonna make you look stupid, you want to be smart, no more dreadlocks, no more sponges and you know what, fuck brooms.**

"Seriously, that's a pretty good mop." Ruby said.

**Oops! I popped a hemorrhoid in the kitchen and I sneezed on the door!**

"Eww!" everyone said.

"It's so gross!" Ruby said.

"That's why we need the mop!" Nora said.

**Oh shit, there's the hair from my left testicle.**

This got a few laughs.

**Oh no, biker bitch broke in and spilled pepto-bismol! And it looks like someone else broke in as well!(granny mops and does a fart noise) Jaboody Dubs.**

Everyone laughed.

"Weird grannies are always fun." Ruby said.

"Would you buy the Smart mop?" Nova said and everyone said yes. "Good. Second commercial."

**Turbo Scrub dub**

**Diarrhea. It seems to get everywhere except for inside the toilet bowl.**

"Stop with the crap!" Blake said.

**Cleaning your house as we all know can be quite difficult with the toothbrush and this thing, I mean the toothbrush, that's for your fucking mouth, it's not for your house, but this is the Turbo Scrub.**

"Who cleans his house with a toothbrush?" Nora said.

**Now watch- oh for fuck's sake!(technical difficulties)**

Everyone laughed.

**Hi, Anthony Sullivan here, and this is the Turbo Scrub! Someone took a big bloody dump, all over my new tile. But it's no match for the Turbo Scrub. See? Look at that.**

This got a few laughs.

"I like the sound effects." Ruby said.

**Oh, are you taking a shower? Sorry, I didn't know, I figured I'd just come in and start cleaning the place up, but don't worry, I'm not gonna look at you, there's no way I'd be able to, unless I... had a turbo scrub.**

Everyone laughed.

**Woman 1: I like to grab my kids at night, and I shoved the Turbo Scrub in their mouths and clean all this shit off. Then I used it to clean all my fixtures and fittings. My kids love that OxiClean taste.**

Everyone laughed.

"Man, kids are stupid." Yang said.

"That's the best way to brush your teeth!" Nora said.

**Look at how long the shaft is on the Turbo Scrub! Those hard-to-reach are no longer a problem. No more bending and reaching. Uh, it's taking too fucking long, you know, I'll just fucking get it. I mean, it works pretty fast. Just uh, look at it go!**

This got a few laughs.

"It's funny how it sounds." Ruby said.

**Or you could just use hot water.**

"Hot water is better." Weiss said.

**Woman 2: I was using that Turbo Scrub as a hairbrush for a while, but that shit caught my weave and ripped my shit out from the roots, goddamn, that hurt like a sumbitch.**

Everyone laughed.

"Everyone used it, but not for cleaning." Weiss said.

"Also, the way she was talking was weird." Ruby said.

"Huh?" Nova said.

"What? It kinda was."

"You mean that here, black people don't talk like that?"

"On Earth they do?" Pyrrha said.

"Yeah. You never heard of ebonics? No? Ghettos don't exist?"

"They do, but I don't think they talk like that." Blake said.

"Hmm. This world has its goods and its bads."

**We got the cone brush on and we go live, to the Turbo Scrub camera! Riveting!**

"Was there a reason to do it?" Ruby said.

**Just imagine this running down, the crack of your ass.**

Everyone laughed.

"And I thought he wouldn't make a joke about butts." Yang said.

**You guys should know by now, I take my toilet cleaning very seriously, you will never find shit in my toilet, because I shit in the sink, because it's easier to clean. It's true!**

"What?! What kind of logic is that?!" Weiss said.

"That guy is a genius." Nora said.

**Call a click now to get the Turbo Scrub. You get scrubber, you get the long shaft, you get the little that you'll probably lose, but call within the next 30 seconds, to receive your very own big buff black guy!**

Everyone laughed.

"That looks so terrible!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"It's actual slavery. It's like getting your own personal Faunus." Blake said.

"I had one." Nova said.

"What?"

"It's true. I had a cat girl maid."

"You did?!" Yang said.

"But why?" Ruby said.

"Hey, it was a thing back then. And still is."

"Why did you say had, though?" Jaune said.

"Oh, she got run over by a car, while going to the grocery store. She didn't have only cat ears and tail, but also had the brain of a cat."

"Wait, you said that Faunus don't exist on Earth." Ren said.

"They don't. She was made in a lab in Japan. I was the first and only one who bought one."

"Bought? You bought a Faunus?!" Blake said, triggered.

"You know, when you say it like that, it sounds bad."

"It is bad! It's slavery!"

"Hey, it's not slavery if she wants to serve you. They are actually born to serve."

"Yes, it is! I can't believe it!"

"Okay, I get it! What I did was bad, I won't do it again, I'm sorry!"

"...I'll let this one slide this time."

**Man 1: I can't believe the Turbo Scrub came with the black guy. I mean what a deal, this guy is amazing, he's been helping me get my basketball game up, he's helping me with the ladies and when I'm not home, he's scrubbing the entire house down top to bottom and then when it's bedtime he tucks me in with a warm glass of milk and kisses me on the mouth goodnight.**

"The last one sounded very wrong." Yang said.

**Man 2: Oh yeah baby, that's it. Scrub my balls.**

This got a few laughs.

**Woman 3: I'm really old and I have bad arthritis, so cleaning myself can be quite difficult. But with the Turbo Scrub, I'm able to clean every nook and cranny in my big saggy old ass.**

"We didn't want to hear that." Weiss said.

**Man 1: Oh and one of the best things about my black friend is he's so strong he could pick me up while I scrub all those hard-to-reach places. He's got these big shoulders, he's built like a truck, man! I haven't had this much with a black guy in years!**

"In years?" Blake said.

**The black guy is waiting. Order today.**

"The black guy is waiting? Really?" Weiss said sarcastically.

"Would you buy the Turbo Scrub?" Nova said. Some of them said yes and some said no. "Last commercial."

**Sticky Buddy dub**

**Ah, I didn't see you there. Me and my buddy here have been expecting you. My Sticky Buddy.**

"He sounded like an evil scientist in spy movies." Jaune said.

"Yeah, he also had that evil cat that all of them have!" Ruby said.

**Sully here with the- oh, excuse me, I've got some pussy hair on me. **

This got some laughs.

**Check that shit out. It's a sticky roller designed to clean up any mess, poodles, pussies, people, you name it. Use it as a back scratcher. You can rinse it off, dry it off, jerk it off, I don't care what you do with it or where the hair even came from.**

"Can you stop with the pubic hair? Please." Blake said.

**Silks, suedes, swag.(does sound) Ladies, I don't care how smelly or hairy your carpets are, my rubber fingers get in there deep. Just, rinse it off for a nice beverage, wipe it off,(sticks it to the wall) HUNGH, oh there we are. Do all kinds of shit with it. Aren't you tired of ripping your hair out, because you're trying to drive and the kids are making a fucking mess?**

"My father can relate to that." Jaune said.

"Ours, too." Ruby said.

**You'll be making so much money. It pays itself off!**

**Fat woman: Ooh, precious food!(takes offf the food) Mmm, that's good. Thanks buddy!**

Everyone laughed.

"That was so mean!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"But hilarious!" Yang said while laughing .

**Everyone has an evil cat or an annoying dog.**

"It is an evil cat!" Nora said.

**Use it to groom them, or even yourself.**

**Granny: (sings) Oh that's what I'm talking about! Wow! YeeeaaaaaaaaAAAAAAA-**

Everyone laughed.

"You're right! Weird grannies are funny!"

**Normally a shticky is 20 dollars, but a Sticky Buddy is only $10.99. You'll also get a cover, you got to use protection. Even if it's a quickie, wrap that sticky.**

Everyone laughed.

"The best line." Yang said.

**Stop rolling up your money with those old lint rollers, the fuck is wrong with you? Check out the suggestively sized Sticky Buddy. You're gonna want to stroke it, but not to much, it'll make a mess. Hide it in your purse, 007, leave it somewhere as a pleasant surprise and like I said before, I have magic rubber fingers that get deep into your hairy cracks.**

"Ew, stop." Blake said.

"007?" Ruby said.

"A movie spy. The most famous spy. James Bond." Nova said.

**Get somebuddies for just $10.99. But wait, there's more! If you have jimbo sized pubes, we got a jimbo sized Sticky Buddy.**

"I don't want to hear anymore! It's so gross!" Weiss said.

**Who let Spiderman in the house? The cat's flipping turds everywhere. Who keeps flicking their boogers under the bed? But you know what, the hair that you find is yours to do with as you please. Why not make a toupee, or break out the turbo snake?**

"A toupee made out of pubic hair?" Yang said disgusted.

**All of these guys will be your buddies, with their rubber fingers for just $10.99. Ask about free shipping. Now get out of my house. Isn't that right, mr. Wuss Wuss?**

This got a few laughs.

"Mr. Wuss Wuss." Ruby said.

"Would you buy the Sticky Buddy?" Nova said. Most of them said yes. "Great. Back to watching more memes."

**And done! Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	38. Hiro the Dense

**Hey everyone. I want you stop now telling me who Candi is. Now I know, thank you. Also, why doesn't Nova know about her? Because he finds human prostitutes boring and prefers alien ones.**

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 37:**** Hiro the Dense - Dense shonen protagonist**

**(The video begins showing the contract that Hiro has.)**

"Slay the demon lord? This will be awesome!" Ruby said.

"But why does it say _satisfy the demon queen_?" Ren said.

"You'll see." Nova said.

**Then it shows Hiro outside the castle's gate.**

**Hiro: Hello? Anyone there? I'm here to slay a demon lord? Can you let me in?**

"Is he stupid? Does he really believe that they will open the gates for him?" Weiss said.

"Well, the title says Hiro the Dense." Blake said.

**(The gate opens.)**

**Hiro: Thank you!**

She instantly facepalms. "Of course they opened it."

**Hiro: Huh, nice place.(hears a laugh)**

**Izilith: So, you've come for mistress, have you?**

**Hiro: Huh? I mean, I'm here to slay a demon...**

**Izilith: How about I get to play with you instead?**

**Hiro: That sounds fun! But, only for a little bit. I gotta finish this up and be back in time before dinner.**

"Wait, he believes that she wants to literally play a game?" Ruby said.

"I'm wondering how it will go." Yang said.

**Izilith: Hm... cocky, aren't you? I am IZILITH! No mortal can resist me!**

"Is that what a female demon looks like?" Jaune said.

"Actually, yes." Nova said.

"And they are all wearing... seductive outfits?" Weiss said.

"Yes. It's actually fitting."

**Hiro: Nice to meet you! My name is Hiro. I'm on a quest to become a knight and vanquish evil from this plane of existence!**

"A really big ambition." Jaune said.

"Why is his mark a penis?" Nora said.

"Yeah, it is a penis." Yang said.

**Hiro: So, what did you want to play? Not to brag, but I've never lost a game of Scrabble.**

"What is Scrabble?" Ruby said.

"The game where you must fill the squares with words." Nova said.

"Oh, I'm the best in that game!" Nora said.

"Because you're making up words." Ren said.

"That should exist!"

"What kind of words?" Nova said.

"Last time she made the word _scmoodled_ and then she knocked me down." Jaune said.

"Exactly! I schmoodled you!"

"One other time she made the word _zzz._" Pyrrha said.

"That's what everyone says when they sleep!". Nova couldn't stop laughing.

"Okay, that was kinda smart." Nova said.

**Izilith: ... Scrabble?**

**Hiro: Yeah, I guess you're right, Scrabble does take a while...**

**Izilith: How about we skip ahead to the part where you lust for me while I drain your will and make you my-**

**Hiro: Wait wait wait wait wait, you said we were gonna play together. To do that we need a game!**

"He still thinks she wants to play a game?" Weiss said.

"I bet that they will play." Yang said.

**Izilith: That isn't what I meant.**

**Hiro: Well, according to code 16 on contracts of netherworld species, article 5 states that vocal contracts are considered legally binding as well.**

"Is he for real?" Blake said.

**Izilith: Are you serious?**

**Hiro: Yeah! I'm surprised you don't know about it. You, uh, being a demon and all. You are a demon, right? Now come on, this will be fun!**

"Why doesn't she kill him to get over with it?" Yang said.

"Plot?" Ruby said.

**Hiro: AHA! Four in a row. Another victory for Hiro.**

**Izilith: Oh, you're so skilled.**

This got a few laughs.

"Look how bored she is." Yang said.

"If you can beat a demon in a game, then you're very cool." Ruby said.

**Izilith: Such a masterful tactician deserves a reward~.**

**Hiro: Quite! Take me to your leader.**

"Really?! He doesn't feel anything?!" Blake said.

"Not even a small erection?" Yang said.

**Izilith: But wouldn't you rather have me?~**

**Hiro: Why would I want you? (Shocks Izilith)**

Everyone laughed.

"He really doesn't understand!" Ruby said while laughing.

"Oh, that was good." Yang said.

**Hiro: So uh... can I see your boss now?**

**(Izilith drags Hiro to her mistress.)**

"Look how happy he is!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"He's having a good time." Ruby said while laughing.

**Angry: -promised 30 barrels of alraune extract in exchange for sparing... hold on. What do we have here?**

"Her boobs are huge!" Nora said.

**Izilith: My lady, this human was sent here to... 'slay' you.**

**Hiro: Hi! My name is Hiro! I'm on a quest to become a knight and vanquish evil from this plane of existence!**

**Angry: Oh. (Crosses her legs again) About time.**

"Why did she cross her legs again?" Ruby said.

"This is stupid." Weiss said.

**Hiro: Indeed! I hope you're ready!**

**Angry: Might I see your missive?**

**Hiro: Uh... sure? Okay uh, hang on. It's in here somewhere... uh... so I got one of these bags, there's like- you can put a lot of things in the bag, but it's hard to get things... out of the bag. Uh, just a second.(she snaps her fingers and the contract appears in front of her) Hey, you found it! Thanks!**

**Angry: Hmm, yes this is the one I was expecting. Excellent! I hope you didn't detain him at all, Izilith. I told you we were expecting him.**

"She couldn't detain him." Ruby said.

**Hiro: What are you talking about?**

**Angry: (laughs) You silly boy. This wasn't a mission to SLAY me! It was to LAY me!**

"Wow! Really? They taped the s?" Yang said.

"But why they sent him?" Jaune said.

"You know, when you're making a deal with the devil, *cough* my brother *cough*, it never goes well. You end up giving your soul." Nova said.

"Ohh, so they sent him to trick the demon." Blake said.

"Wait. Your brother? You mean Lucifer?" Weiss said.

"Yeah. Didn't I tell you? He's the ruler of all the demons." Nova said.

"He probably has the best job." Nora said.

**Hiro: Oh. Why did they need me for that? Can't you do that yourself?**

"What?" Yang said and laughed.

"Does he think she means lie down?" Ruby said.

"Probably. His mind wouldn't go to sex." Blake said.

**Angry: (small laugh) You're cute~. Most men would be jealous to be in your position. Count yourself lucky. Many would die to be where you are... and many have.**

"Look how her chest bounces!" Yang said and laughed.

"DOA levels of jiggle physics." Nova said.

"What?"

"Dead or alive. A game series where women fight till death."

"Of course."

**Hiro: But that just sounds boring! Why would anyone be jealous?**

"Doesn't he know how insulting this is?" Weiss said.

"He doesn't understand." Pyrrha said.

**Angry: I'll have you know that I'm desired by countless men!**

**Hiro: Um... what's that got to do with me? I mean if they're keeping you up at night, then maybe that'd be annoying and you could use help then, but... do you really still need me for that? If you wanted to, you could do it right here on the floor!**

"Oh my god! Does he have any idea what is he saying?" Weiss said.

**Angry: Well! You're very forward...**

**Hiro: Granted, that wouldn't be very comfortable... I guess my job is to find you a couch or bed or something? But you probably have one of those yourself, rightl**

**Angry: O-obviously.**

**Hiro: Sorry, I just thought this was supposed to be a big mission but, I guess I shouldn't complain, even if it is simple. If the order asks it of me, then I should do it without a second thought!**

**Angry: That's more like it..**

"When will she find out that he's talking about something different?" Yang said.

"Right about now." Nova said.

**Hiro: So, how does this work? Do I read you a story or something?**

"That works only for kids." Weiss said.

"I like how his mark changes from a hammer to a penis." Yang said and laughed.

**Angry: What?**

**Hiro: What?**

**Angry: D... do you still don't know why you're here? What your mission stated?**

**Hiro: Well, it says to help you lie-**

**Angry: It says to "lay" the "demon".**

"I knew it! He thought that it was to lie down!" Ruby said.

**Hiro: ... Yessss?**

"How dense is he?" Weiss said.

**Angry: (faceplams) SEX! YOU AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE IT!**

"She finally broke." Blake said.

**Hiro: Why?**

**Angry: BECAUSE THAT'S WHY YOU WERE SENT HERE!**

**Hiro: Me?**

"Who else? Izilith?" Yang sd.

**Angry: Do you see anyone else!?**

**Hiro: Well, there's the one girl over there.**

**Izilith: Fuck you.**

Everyone laughed.

"Called it."

"I can't believe he said that!" Pyrrha said.

**Hiro: And that guy in the portal...**

**Father: Yo!**

"Is that supposed to be your brother?" Jaune said.

"I don't think so." Nova said.

"Is that how he looks?" Ruby said.

"Actually no. He looks more like a rotten testicle. But after that show on Netflix, he often takes the form of Tom Ellis.". He then shows a picture of Tom Ellis. All the girls were amazed by his beauty.

"Oh my god! He looks so beautiful!" all the girls said.

**Angry: That 'guy in the portal' happens to be my father!**

"How should he know that?" Ruby said.

**Angry: And he is the one who arranged with your order for you to come here in the first place as an offering!**

**Hiro: Oooh, daddy issues, huh... Well, that seems outside my realm of qualifications but, don't give up! I'm sure you'll find a nice guy eventually!**

Everyone laughed.

"Look at her face! Now she heard everything!" Blake said.

"I can't believe that conversation happened." Weiss said.

**Angry: (faceplams) How is this possible...? They planned this... of course. Those bastards would send a peon like... you.**

**Hiro: What do you mean like me?**

"A dense idiot."

**Angry: AN INCORRUPTIBLE IMBECILE, DENSER THAN LEAD! YOU ARE A WORTHLESS OFFERING! AN OGRE DEVOID OF ITS BRAIN WOULD BE MORE USEFUL THAN YOU ARE!**

"Ouch." Ruby said.

"It's not his fault." Pyrrha said.

**Hiro: Hey, that's rude! And you really shouldn't shout, I can hear you just fiiIIIN-(she lifts him in the air with her powers)**

"He's dead." Yang said.

**Angry: Do you even know WHO I am? WHAT I am?**

**Hiro: Uh... angry?**

**Angry: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M ANGRY!**

**Father: Hi Angry!**

"What?" Blake said.

"Oh no." Ruby said.

"What?"

"Something worse than puns."

**Father: I'm Dad!**

"Dad jokes! No!" Ruby said. Meanwhile Yang was laughing.

"Aww, she has a silly father. That's adorable." Pyrrha said.

**Angry: (silence) I hate all off you.(sitcom laugh track and credits)**

"Dat ass tho." Yang said.

"I liked that. The animation was cute." Ruby said.

"You know, Hiro reminds me of someone else we all know." Nova said. Then everyone turned and looked at Jaune.

"Why are you looking at me? I'm not stupid! I can tell when a girl tries to hit on me!" Jaune said. Everyone else facepalmed. "What?!"

"Good luck." Nova whispered to Pyrrha.

**And done! Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	39. Manliest anime scene

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 38:**** Most manliest anime scene ever - Fist of the north star (video by Kundentelefon)**

"Okay, now before I leave I want to show you something else." Nova said.

"What is it?" Ruby said.

"The most badass entrance in anime history."

"How badass is it?" Yang said.

"You'll see. Also warning, it has Mortal Kombat level of violence."

"No way."

"So it will have brutal and creative fatalities?" Weiss said.

"Yes."

**The videos starts with an explosion. The explosion was caused by a man, inside a rock cocoon, his eyes glowing red(is it a cocoon?).**

"Great start." Yang said.

**Some thugs noticed it, while they were going to kill two kids, Lyn and Bat. The unknown man punched a couple of buildings, destroying them. **

"He destroyed the building with a punch! Cool!" Nora said.

**The man walked towards them. They saw him coming and punching another building.**

"The building is going to fall on him!" Jaune said.

"Wait and see." Nova said.

**The building fell on the man's head, but instead of killing him, he walked through it like it was nothing, which scared the thugs.**

"He walked through it! How strong is he?!" Weiss said.

"He even broke it in half!" Blake said.

"Those thugs are screwed." Yang said.

**The building broke in half. The man kept walking. The cocoon started falling apart, revealing him. The man was Kenshiro, with a beard. He stopped in front of them, his eyes glowing, scaring them.**

"So cool!" Ruby said.

"Look how the wind blows his cloak, the animation is really good. Is it a movie?" Jaune said.

"It is a movie and the animation was the best at the time." Nova said.

**One thug pulls a knife, but that doesn't scare Kenshiro.**

"That guy destroyed a skyscraper, does he think that knife will do anything?" Weiss said.

**Ken turns to another thug who was about to crush Lyn.**

"Oh no!" Pyrrha said.

"Now I noticed it. Are they in a post apocalyptic world?" Yang said.

"Yes, how did you know?" Nova said.

"I like these kind of movies."

**Ken walks towards him. The thug pulls out a crossbow and shoots at Ken.**

"It didn't do anything! He didn't even felt it!" Jaune said.

**Ken pulls the bloody arrow out of his chest.**

"Holy crap!" Yang said.

"I know, the arrow is bleeding." Nova said, getting some laughs.

"That's how cool he is, he didn't bleed, the arrow did." Nora said.

**Ken grabs the thug's head and lifts him up. The thug tries to escape from his grasp but he can't, he was screaming in pain.**

"I can't look!" Pyrrha said, covering her eyes.

**Ken crushed the thug's head hard enough to pop his eye out. He kept screaming, until he wasn't moving. He dropped him down, his hand covered in blood.**

Everyone was shocked from that.

"His eye popped out!" Ruby said.

"That was brutal!" Blake said.

"It's more gross and horrifying when it's hand-drawn!" Weiss said.

"But it was cool either way." Yang said.

**Everyone was scared. Ken walked to Lyn to see if she was okay. An other thug rushed at him, but he got elbowed in the nose. Everyone else then attacked too. Ken kneed the second one and kicked back the last. The one who got elbowed, his head expanded and blew up, his skull flying out. The second crashed at a rock and the third fell in front of Bat. His head then blew up, blood coming out. Bat saw it and it both scared him and amazed him.**

The kids had mixed feelings. Amazement, shock, terror and disgust.

"What was that? They blew up!" Weiss said.

"That was awesome!" Nora said. "Did you see that guys skull flying out? That was gory and cool!"

"How did he blow them up?" Ren said.

"Kenshiro is the 64th successor of Hokuto Shinken, a very deadly fighting style. He can kill everyone, hitting their pressure points." Nova said.

"So cooool!" Ruby said.

"Wait, he didn't use it to crush that guy's head." Yang said.

"He didn't have to, he's very strong. That guy touched lava and didn't got hurt!" Nova said.

"Seriously?! Now that's badass!"

"I know! I think it's time to leave now. See you tomorrow kids."

"Bye Nova." the kids said and he teleported out of the room.

**And done! The following chapters will be a DBZA marathon. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	40. DBZA EP6&7

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 39:**** DBZ Abridged EP6&7**

It was another beautiful day. Nova was on his planet, watching TV. After his show ended, he got up and teleported to Remnant to see his friends.

"Hey girls!" he said. "Huh? Where is everyone?". The girls weren't in their dorm. "I guess I should wait for them.". He then noticed something. Their weapons were in the room. "Hmm, their weapons. I guess I can have some fun while I'm waiting them."

Team RWBY was coming back from wherever they went. Then they heard noises coming from their dorm.

"Who's in our dorm?" Yang said.

"Let's see." Blake said. They were next to their door and saw Nova playing with Crescent Rose. Ruby was about to say something but her sister stopped her.

"Let's see how it goes." she whispered. They decided to see what will he do. He did some impressive twirls and cuts.

"Your time has come! I came to take your soul!" Nova said, with a deadly voice and did a strong cut. "She could be a scary grim reaper. Let's see Elsa's weapon.". He then took Weiss' weapon.

'Elsa?' Weiss thought.

"SILVER CHARIOT!". He did some cuts and super fast stabs and ended it with curving the letter N on the wall. "I'll fix it before they come. Now for pussycat.". He then took Blake's weapon.

'He's so dead.' Blake thought. He did some slices along with some spins and flips. He managed to turn it into a gun. He did some aiming and shooting sound effects.

"It's nice, but kinda lame."

'Excuse me?'

"She should have another pistol. Maybe she could fight using Gunkata. And maybe break dance."

'Break dance?'

"Now for Goldilocks.". He then took Yang's weapons.

'He could use a better nickname.' Yang thought. He raised his fist and tried to activate the gun.

"Shoot!" he said, but nothing happened. "Why it doesn't shoot? Maybe I have to punch to shoot.". He punched and shot a bullet.

'There you go.'. He then thought of something. He created a clone, who also had her weapons.

"Shall we compare the speed of our attack rushes?" the clone said. Then they both started doing fast consecutive punches. "MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA-!"

"ORAORAORAORAORA-!" the other said. They kept punching, destroying the walls without knowing it, saying ORA and MUDA. The girls were shocked watching him.

"MUDA!"

"ORA!". They both gave a final punch. "That was fun.". The clone disappeared. He then turned around and saw the girls staring, with open mouths.

"That...was...AWESOME!" Ruby said.

"Oh...you saw everthing?" he said with a red face.

"You were so cool! You were like (slicing sounds), and then (more slicing sounds), and then ORAORAORA, and then MUDAMUDAMUDA! That was awesome!"

"I never saw moves like that in my life!" Weiss said.

"Yeah, only in video games." Yang said.

"Also, why did you call me Elsa?"

"Movie reference." Nova said.

"And silver chariot?"

"Jojo reference.". Then Blake punched him. "Hey, why did you do that?"

"For calling me a pussycat." she said. "Also, what is gunkata?"

"A fighting style where you use hand to hand combat and guns."

"Uh huh. And why break dance?"

"I don't know, it would make you cooler."

"Are you saying that I'm not cool?"

"You know, being broody and anti-social doesn't make you cool."

"What? I'm not like that."

"Yes, you are." Weiss said, shocking Blake.

"Huh?!"

"Well, to be honest, on the first day, we said hi and you wanted us to leave you alone." Ruby said.

"Okay, I was kinda unfriendly and closed to myself, by that was the first day! I changed, right?"

"Eh, not much. Even Weiss was more friendly than you." Yang said.

"Excuse me?!" Weiss said.

"Come on, don't act like you don't know. You were like, uh...how do I say this, a total bitch.

"I...okay I was a total bitch. Why are you laughing?" she said to Nova.

"Oh, sorry. I was wondering how you were on the first day. You would be like _I'm rich, and you are not, so that makes me better than you. This conversation is officially _(snaps his fingers three times) _over! BUTLER!_" Then a random butler appeared.

"Yes?" the butler said.

_"Please take me away from these poor people. On a silver plate."_

"Yes.". He pulled a giant silver plate and Nova stood up on it.

_"See you later, filthy ningen! OH HOHOHOHOHOH! SIEG HEIL!"_. The girls couldn't stop laughing. Weiss was really embarrassed. "Did I got it?"

"You were on spot! I lost it when you snapped your fingers with sass!" Yang said while laughing.

"I loved when you left on the plate!" Ruby said while laughing.

"Can we stop now?" Weiss said.

"Okay, back to our weapons. Why did you said shoot?" Yang said.

"I tought that I could activate a machine gun, like all gauntlets like yours should do . But apparently, I have to punch to shoot. Also, I might ruined it, because I don't think it's supposed to reload that fast."

"I can't punch that fast!"

"Sorry. Also they're lame as fuck."

"What?!"

"They look like toys and they don't have any cool features. I could give you a pair of gauntlets that are better than your plastic bracelets."

"Really?"

"Yes, but next week, because it will be Christmas."

"Oh, right on our winter break!" Ruby said.

"Winter break? For how long?"

"Two weeks."

"Anyway, can you fix our room?" Weiss said.

"And my gauntlets?" Yang said.

"Sure." Nova said. He snapped his fingers and everything was fixed. "Alright, call the the others. We are going to finish the Saiyan Saga today."

"Today? How many episodes?"

"7 episodes."

"Yes! I'm going!" Ruby said and went to call the others.

Everyone sat down and waited for Nova to start the marathon.

"And the he left on a giant silver plate!" Yang said and made team JNPR laugh.

"I wish we were here to watch it!" Nora said.

"I can't believe he called Blake broody and anti-social." Pyrrha said.

"Well, he's not wrong." Yang said.

"Shut up." Blake said.

"Let's start the marathon!" Nova said.

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Dragonball GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji T.V., and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(scene changes to a dark room with swinging pendulum in the ceiling as Mr. Popo, Krillin, Yamcha, Tien holding Chiaoutzu, and Yajirobe are seen walking forward)**

**KRILLIN: Um. Mr. Popo, are you sure this'll make us strong-**

**MR. POPO: Pecking order.**

**KRILLIN: Sorry!**

"I'm afraid to see what their training will be." Ruby said.

**(everyone arrives at the Pendulum Room)**

**MR. POPO: Damn right you are. Now, stand in this circle here.**

**(everyone minus Yajirobe are seen standing on the magic circle)**

**TIEN: You mean, like this?**

**MR. POPO: Yeah. Bye!**

**KRILLIN: Wait, what?!**

**(everyone gets teleported to another dimension)**

"His smile is so creepy!" Weiss said.

"Where did they go?" Jaune said.

"To their deaths." Nova said and got some laughs.

**[OPENING SEQUENCE]**

**(scene changes to King Kai's planet)**

**KING KAI: Alright, today we will commence your training.**

**GOKU: Woohoo! Alright! Now, what's my first lesson?**

**KING KAI: First, you must-**

**GOKU: Catch the monkey! (begins chasing Bubbles)**

"That's a fun training session." Nora said.

**KING KAI: Actually, I was going to-**

**GOKU: (continues to chase Bubbles) Whee!**

**KING KAI: Okay, have fun with that.**

This got a few laughs.

"How would that help?" Weiss said.

"Remember, the gravity there is 10x stronger than Earth's. He must first get used to the gravity. And he's also wearing weighted clothing, so it's harder." Nova said.

"So, he's now lifting a ton?" Pyrrha said.

"Yep."

"That's very amazing!" Blake said.

**(scene changes to the Z Fighters walking in a ruined city)**

**NARRATOR: Meanwhile, in... somewhere...**

**YAMCHA: Wow, this place is a wreck.**

**TIEN: I know- the desolation, the ruin, the horror.**

"The horror." Ruby repeated.

**KRILLIN: Where are we, New Orleans?**

**(record scratch)**

**TIEN: Krillin!**

**KRILLIN: What?**

**TIEN: Too soon!**

"I don't get it."

"Don't bother yorself with such things." Nova said.

**(Chiaotzu looks at a helmet)**

**CHIAOTZU: Huh?**

**HELMET: (quickly) You must construct additional pylons.**

**(Chiaotzu shrieks)**

This got a few laughs.

**TIEN: Chiaotzu, get away from there.**

**CHIAOTZU: Why?**

"Because it's dangerous?" Weiss said.

**(helmet disintegrates, revealing the head of a Saiyan)**

**TIEN: You have no idea where that's been- it could give you an infection.**

"Aww, he cares about his little friend." Ruby said.

**CHIAOTZU: You're not my dad- don't tell me what to-**

**(Saiyan attacks Chiaotzu, causing him to scream as he falls off the city)**

"No, Chiaotzu!"

**TIEN: Chiaotzu, My partner!**

**YAMCHA: ...Gay.**

"Wow, not cool man." Yang said.

**TIEN: Hey, at least I don't spend all my free time living alone with a cat!**

"Gottem." Nora said.

**YAMCHA: Hey, at least I get some puss- Wow, that did not come out right.**

"That sounded very wrong." Blake said.

**SPRAUT: (disembodied echo) Hey, Bruzzel, look what we got here.**

**BRUZZEL: (disembodied echo) Yes, we've got some tourists, Spraut.**

**SPRAUT: (disembodied echo) Well, then we should give them the tour.**

**BRUZZEL: (disembodied echo) Yes, the tour straight to hell, because we'll be killing them, with our own two diabolical hands, which are comprised of many sinister fingers, which we shall use to fiendishly destroy them one by one until-**

**SPRAUT: (disembodied echo) Oh, for Christ's sake, yes, they get it- we're evil. Shut up!**

This got a few laughs.

"They're so evil." Nora said.

**(Saiyan grabs Krillin's ankle and pulls him underground)**

**KRILLIN: Oh, God, why?!**

**(Yamcha and Tien look at the hole as fighting sounds can be heard along with Krillin screaming)**

"Poor Krillin. He's like they're punching bag." Ruby said.

**KRILLIN: Oh, God, this can't possibly get any worse.**

"Wait for it." Yang said.

**MR. POPO: Hi.**

**(Krillin screaming louder, possibly due to seeing Mr. Popo.)**

**(Krillin Owned Count: 4)**

They got shocked but they also couldn't stop laughing.

**YAMCHA: It's up to us! We have to attack together!**

**TIEN: Right, back to back! Let's do it for Chiaotzu!**

**YAMCHA: And Krillin!**

**(crickets chips in silence)**

**YAMCHA: Eh, okay, just Chiaotzu.**

"Why so much hate on Krillin?" Jaune said.

**(Yamcha and Tien charge up to attack the Saiyans)**

**(scene shifts to the Pendulum Room with Mr. Popo standing next to the circle)**

**MR. POPO: Alright, let's see how they're doing inside.**

**(Yamcha and Tien are seen getting hit and screaming in pain as Mr. Popo laughs, loving every moment of it. Eventually, everyone returns to the Pendulum Room, exhausted and terrified.)**

They were disturbed by that, but they couldn't stop laughing.

**MR. POPO: So, how was it?**

**(Heavy breathing are heard with Krillin muttering something unintelligible about "darkness")**

**TIEN: It was... horrible.**

**MR. POPO: Good, you survived the first test.**

**KRILLIN: (relieved) Oh, thank God!**

**MR. POPO: But I have some bad news.**

**KRILLIN: What?**

"They're going back?" Yang said.

**MR. POPO: You're going back.**

**KRILLIN: (sounding a bit scared) Wh-What?**

**MR. POPO: Bye!**

**(Z-Fighters all get teleported back to the ruined city)**

**KRILLIN: (screaming) No!**

**(short silence with Kami suddenly appearing next to Mr. Popo)**

Everyone laughed.

"He's so mean!" Ruby said while laughing.

**KAMI: Mr. Popo, where did you send them?**

**MR. POPO: I'll tell you where they're not: safe.**

"I don't think that they will survive against Vegeta and Nappa." Ren said.

"Why do you say that?" Jaune said.

"I think those Saiyans weren't as strong as them."

"Yeah, Vegeta destroyed a planet very easily." Yang said.

"That was filler. He wasn't strong enough to destroy a planet with two fingers. I think only if he used his full power." Nova said.

**(scene changes to King Kai's planet, Goku has just caught Bubbles)**

**GOKU: Woohoo! Alright, I caught the mon- (notices Gregory) ooh, a cricket! (drops Bubbles who screeches in pain)**

**GREGORY: Yeah, I'm Gregory-**

**GOKU: (holding a hammer) I'ma smash him!**

"Why?!" Weiss said.

"Why not?" Nora said.

**GREGORY: (visibly terrified) What? (shift to inside King Kai's house; Gregory is seen blasting by) OHMYDEARGOD!**

**GOKU: (chases Gregory with the hammer) Wee-hee!**

"He's so happy!" Ruby said while laughing.

**KING KAI: (watering a plant, unconcerned) Shut up, Gregory.**

**(Gregory screams as Goku hits the ground with a hammer)**

**BOJACK: Yarr...**

**KING KAI: (continues watering a plant, unconcerned) Shut up, Bojack.**

This got a few laughs.

**(scene changes to Kami's Lookout)**

**KAMI: It seems that your training here is complete.**

"Wait, a year already passed?" Jaune said.

"No, I don't think so." Ruby said.

"But they didn't do anything! They only got very injured!" Weiss said.

**KRILLIN: But we-**

**KAMI: Mr. Popo, do you have any last comments for them?**

**MR. POPO: (extremely blunt) You're all going to die.**

"Very encouraging words." Blake said.

**KAMI: Thank you, Mr. Popo. Now I believe it is time for you to leave.**

**KRILLIN: But-but all we did was-**

**MR. POPO: Pecking order.**

**(Z-Fighter fly off the lookout with Tien screaming)**

**KRILLIN: Oh, God, get out of my way!**

Everyone laughed.

**(scene changes to King Kai's planet)**

**GOKU: I completed the first two lessons, King Kai.**

**KING KAI: Yes, congratulations, you've managed to catch my pet monkey, Bubbles, and give Gregory a concussion.**

**GREGORY: (in pain, off-screen) You psychotic bastard!**

Everyone laughed.

**KING KAI: Now we can start on your real training and I can teach you the-**

**GOKU: Oh, before you do, could you tell about the Saiyans.**

**KING KAI: Not much to tell you other than they all died 20 years ago.**

**GOKU: (gasps) Even my dad?**

**(flashback of Bardock screaming while burning)**

This got a few laughs.

"Why was that funny?" Yang said.

"He looks exactly like his father!" Jaune said.

**(King Kai is seen holding his mouth, trying not to burst out laughing)**

**KING KAI: (abruptly) Yes.**

Everyone laughed.

"Yes." Ruby repeated.

**GOKU: Really? What killed them?**

**KING KAI: Let me check. (checks Wikipedia entry) Let's see here. "Stupid monkeys hit by falling rocks. Hahahahahahaha! P.S. Freeza rules you." That doesn't seem right-**

"That's very weird." Nora said.

**GOKU: Bored now. Let's get back to training, King Kai!**

**KING KAI: (lets out an exasperated sigh)**

**(scene changes to Master Roshi's Island)**

**NARRATOR: And so, one year has passed- the characters who actually did anything in the last series, but not in this one, have finally found themselves of use and have summoned the Eternal Dragon to wish back their fallen comrade, Goku!**

"Being a useless side character must suck." Ruby said.

"Why did that felt like a punch in the gut?" Jaune said.

**BULMA: I don't get it. Why are we doing this again?**

**MASTER ROSHI: Because my sister, Baba, told us to.**

**(Shenron gets summoned)**

**SHENRON: You have summoned the eternal dragon. Make your wish and I'll-(recognizes Master Roshi, Bulma, and Oolong, with disdain) Oh, God, it's you guys again. Can't anyone else find these damn things?! Ah, screw it, whatever, what do you want?**

"Only they search for the Dragon Balls?" Yang said.

"No one knows about them." Nova said.

"I think that's better for everyone." Weiss said.

**MASTER ROSHI: There are two horrible Saiyans coming to our planet and we need Goku to be brought back to life in order to defeat them.**

"Wait. They have the dragon. Why can't they wish to get rid off the Saiyans?"

"Because the Saiyans are way more powerful than Shenron. In terms of strength." Nova said.

"They could do something about their spaceships. Why can't they do that?" Blake said.

"Uh, plot?" Ruby said.

**SHENRON: Really? You know you could, um, just wish me–a magical dragon–to send them into an asteroid field. One crossed wire and BOOM, right in the sun!**

"Even the dragon says it!" Weiss said.

**MASTER ROSHI: (insistently) No, you see, as long as we have Goku, we'll be fine.**

**SHENRON: (puzzled) Right... Yeah, okay, fine, whatever, I'll grant your wish. Just don't come crying to me when half your stupid asses get killed! Ah, who am I kidding? You will.**

"Was that foreshadowing?" Ruby said.

**(Shenron's eyes starts to glow and then the scene changes to King Kai's planet, with Goku's halo disappearing)**

"His ring disappeared!"

"It's called a halo." Nova said.

**GOKU: Hey, King Kai, I'm alive again!**

**KING KAI: Yes, and you've conveniently learned the Kaio-ken and the Spirit Bomb off-screen. Now get the f**k off my planet!**

"Okay, rude!" Weiss said.

**GOKU: Alright, and thank you, King Kai, for all the training. It'll be a hard fight when I return to Earth, but now, I'm truly confident-**

**KING KAI: GO HOME!**

This got a few laughs.

**GOKU: 'Kay, bye! (flies off King Kai's planet)**

**(silence as King Kai, Gregory, and Bubbles watch Goku leave)**

**KING KAI: (sudden realization) Oh, God, what have I done?! I'm all alone again!**

"He didn't think that, huh?" Yang said.

"But he has Bubbles and Gregory." Ruby said.

"And Bojack." Nora said.

"Will Bojack play a bigger role in the future?" Ren said.

"He's a movie villain. And the movie won't be abridged." Nova said.

"What? Why?" Ruby said.

"Because they couldn't think anything funny."

"That sucks."

**BUBBLES: (subtitled) Well, good sir, you've still my modest company. How about I grab us some tea and some quiet music and we-**

**KING KAI: Shut up, Bubbles!**

**GREGORY: Well, I'm still here for you, sir.**

**KING KAI: Shut up, Gregory!**

**BOJACK: Yarr, You've still have-**

**KING KAI: Shut up, Bojack!**

**[ENDING SEQUENCE]**

**[STINGER]**

**(scene shifts on Earth in a barren wasteland)**

"Oh yeah! Gohan and Piccolo!"

**PICCOLO: All right, runt, your training is complete. Now you and I will take over the worl-**

"What about the Saiyans?" Weiss said.

**KAMI: (telepathically) Hello? Hello?**

**PICCOLO: (telepathically) Ugh. What is it, old man?**

**KAMI: (telepathically) I just wanted to check in and make sure you were ready for the Saiyans.**

**PICCOLO: (telepathically) Ready for the what now?**

"Wait, he didn't know?!" Ruby said.

**KAMI: (telepathically) Didn't Mr. Popo tell you? There are two Saiyans headed towards the Earth as we speak. Both several times more powerful than the last one you faced. They should be landing pretty soon- within a few days, in fact.**

"Of course, Mr. Popo." Nora said.

**PICCOLO: New plan, Gohan, we're going to kick some Saiyan ass!**

**GOHAN: Um, okay?**

**(silence)**

"Why the silence?" Ruby said.

**PICCOLO: (telepathically) You're still there, aren't you?**

**KAMI: (telepathically) I'm just so lonely...**

**PICCOLO: (out loud) Get out of my head! **

Everyone laughed.

"Time for the next episode." Nova said.

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(Scene changes to outer space, where Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods are seen arriving at Earth.)**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

"Come on! He's still going?!" Weiss said

**VEGETA: (slightly annoyed) No.**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: (more annoyed) No.**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: (really annoyed) No!**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: (now irritated) NO!**

**NAPPA: Are we there yet?**

**VEGETA: (relieved) Yes.**

**(Space Pods crash through a building and land in the middle of the road, forming two huge craters)**

"Was that sign edited?" Jaune said.

**NAPPA: Yaaay!**

"I love Nappa." Nora said.

**[OPENING SEQUENCE]**

**(scene cuts to Vegeta and Nappa landing on the street, in front of a group of shocked citizens)**

**NAPPA: Hey look, Vegeta, more locals.**

**(citizens are shown to be completely scared with most of them whimpering)**

"I hate awkward silences. Someone do something!" Ruby said.

**CITIZEN: ...So, are you guys alien-**

**(Nappa destroys the entire city, leaving nothing but a gigantic crater)**

That surprised everyone.

"He just turned a big city into a crater!" Pyrrha said.

"That's so cool!" Nora said.

**NAPPA: Ahhh, I hate awkward silences.**

This got a few laughs.

**VEGETA: Dammit, Nappa, think before you act! What if you'd have blown up one of the Dragon Balls?**

"Vegeta looks different. Why did they change his colours?" Rubys said.

"Because those are his normal colours. He was like that before because the animation studio didn't know how he looked." Nova said.

**NAPPA: The what now, Vegeta?**

"Did he forgot? That was the reason the came to Earth!" Weiss said.

**VEGETA: The Dragon Balls, Nappa. Don't you remember our wish?**

**(flashback of Goku talking to Raditz about the DragonBalls)**

**GOKU: The Dragon Balls, you know? There are seven of them. They grant any wish you want- like immortality?**

**OOLONG: Or Bulma's panties!**

**(back to present)**

**NAPPA: Yeah, pandas...**

"Oooh, pandas! They're so cute!" Ruby said.

**VEGETA: You know what, Nappa? One of these days you're going to die. Then you'll be out of my hair forever. (caption appears at the bottom of the screen saying "Epic Foreshadowing") Now let's just go. (Vegeta and Nappa fly off towards the Z-Fighters)**

Everyone laughed.

"Epic foreshadowing? That was good." Yang said.

**(scene changes to a barren wasteland)**

**PICCOLO: (senses the Saiyans' ki) Gohan, on your guard! They're coming right towards us.**

**GOHAN: But, why would they be headed our way?**

**PICCOLO: They're probably seeking to eliminate the strongest power level.**

**GOHAN: (not catching on) But... my dad's dead.**

Everyone laughed.

**PICCOLO: (getting irate) I was referring to me!**

**GOHAN: Oh, well by that logic, I suppose you would have the strongest power level on Earth.**

**MR. POPO: (appears as a tiny speck on top of a faraway plateau) Hah!**

Everyone laughed.

"Was that Mr. Popo?" Jaune said.

"You don't mess with the Popo." Nora said.

**(Krillin arrives at the battlefield)**

**KRILLIN: Hey, guys, Krillin's here!**

**PICCOLO: Oh, I thought I sensed someone else coming. Good, it seems you've increased your power since we last met.**

**KRILLIN: I know! Isn't it great? I-**

**PICCOLO: You're almost as strong as Gohan now.**

"Really? But he's four! Oh wait, he's five now." Ruby said.

"He's also a Saiyan." Blake said.

**KRILLIN: I- Wait, b-but he's only five...**

**GOHAN: It's because I'm a Saiyan!**

**KRILLIN: Well, at least there's only two of you. So, uh, how bad was the training with Piccolo?**

"Dodge!" Yang said and laughed.

**GOHAN: Well, the training wasn't that bad. Mr. Piccolo's actually really nice after you get to know him.**

"Aww, look how cute is Gohan in that scene." Ruby said.

**(flashback of Gohan training with Piccolo)**

**PICCOLO: Gohan, I've brought you a sparring partner for today.**

**GOHAN: Really? Who?**

**(scene cuts to Gohan getting chased by a dinosaur)**

Everyone laughed.

"Poor Gohan. Having a hard childhood." Pyrrha said.

**(back to present)**

**GOHAN: So how was your training, Krillin?**

**(Krillin begins whimpering while Mr. Popo can be heard laughing and his eyes comes up behind Krillin.)**

Everyone laughed.

**KRILLIN: (breaking down crying) First rule of Popo's training: Do not talk about Popo's training!**

**GOHAN: (puzzled) Krillin, why are you crying?**

**KRILLIN: (voice starts breaking down) Second rule of Popo's training...**

They couldn't stop laughing.

**PICCOLO: Aw man, he's already crying- and the Saiyans aren't even here ye-**

**NAPPA: Yeah we are!**

**(Vegeta and Nappa has arrived at the battlefield as Mars: The bringer of War by Gustav Holst plays in the background)**

**NAPPA: Hi.**

**(Vegeta and Nappa land in front of the group)**

**PICCOLO: So, you guys are the Saiyans?**

**NAPPA: No.**

**VEGETA: Don't be rude, Nappa.**

**KRILLIN: And you're here for the Dragon Balls?**

**NAPPA: No.**

"I don't get it. Why is saying no?" Blake said.

**VEGETA: ...We are. And I am the prince of all Saiyans!**

**PICCOLO: You're a prince?**

**NAPPA: No.**

**VEGETA: ...F**k you, Nappa.**

This got a few laughs.

**PICCOLO: So what do we call you?**

**NAPPA: I am Nappa, and this is Vegeta. He was a prison...**

**VEGETA: (interrupting) Shut up, Nappa!**

**NAPPA: (whispering) ...bitch.**

Everyone laughed.

"Actually he wasn't. He killed that guy." Jaune said.

**VEGETA: (Through clenched teeth) Dammit, Nappa.**

**NAPPA: (notices Piccolo) Oh look, Vegeta, it's a Namekian.**

**KRILLIN: Hey, I take offense to that.**

**PICCOLO: He's referring to me, you idiot. And it's not an insult; the Namekians are a fine, proud race of-**

**NAPPA: That means he doesn't have a penis, right Vegeta.**

**(Piccolo stands gaping his mouth in shock as snickering from Krillin can be heard off-screen trying not to laugh)**

Everyone laughed.

"Oh yeah, he's an alien slug!" Ruby said.

**VEGETA: (Amused) Eunuchs.**

**GOHAN: So what exactly does that make you, Mr. Piccolo? You survive mostly on water- Does that make you a slug or a plant?**

**PICCOLO: (trying to restrain his anger) Gohan, not now!**

**GOHAN: And do you also conduct photosynthesis or do you-**

**PICCOLO & NAPPA: NEEEEEERD!**

Everyone laughed.

"Even Nappa!" Yang said while laughing.

**GOHAN: Wait, what?**

**(a couple of news helicopters arrive at the battlefield)**

**MR. KENT: These are them, folks- the terrible monsters who destroyed West City! Jimmy, hurry up and get a shot of the bald one.**

"Which one? Everyone, except Gohan and Vegeta is bald."

**JIMMY: (looks at Nappa, Krillin, and Piccolo) Um, Which one, Mr. Kent?**

"Mr. Kent? Is he important?" Jaune said.

"He's Superman, the man of steel, the strongest being in the universe." Nova said.

"Then why doesn't he do anything?" Weiss said.

"And blow his secret identity?"

**NAPPA: Look, Vegeta, the Paparazzi. I have to protect my image! (destroys a cargo robot)**

This got a few laughs.

"This is so stupid." Weiss said.

"Nappa is the best." Nora said.

**JIMMY: Oh, my God, he blew up the cargo robot! And the cargo was people! (the rest of the news helicopters leave)**

**NAPPA: Good, now I'm gonna read their power levels, Vegeta.**

**(Nappa uses his scouter to read Gohan, Piccolo, and Krillin's power levels, which reads 0.8 Raditz for Gohan, 1.1 Raditz for Piccolo, and 0.9 Raditz for Krillin)**

"Wow. They have a Raditz power scale." Yang said and laughed.

"How are they going to beat them, if they're that weak?" Blake said.

"They can change their power level. They're hiding their real power." Nova said.

**VEGETA: (removes his scouter) Nappa, don't you understand? They can hide their power levels- those readings are useless.**

**NAPPA: (also removes his scouter) You mean like YouTube friends?**

**VEGETA: Yes, and I have a better way of testing their power levels. Plant the Saibamen.**

**NAPPA: (plants a seed at the ground) Yay!**

**(six Saibamen erupt from the ground)**

**NAPPA: Ta-da!**

"Wow! He created little cabbage creatures! Awesome!" Nora said.

**PICCOLO: (shocked) Wha-what are those?**

**VEGETA: They're cultivated life forms. All with the same power level as Raditz. That's right; he was so weak, we could actually grow Raditzes!**

"So much hate on Raditz." Jaune said.

**NAPPA: But, Vegeta, then you have to worry about the Fraggles.**

**VEGETA: Oh God dammit, Nappa, nobody's going to get that.**

**TIEN: (off-screen) As a matter of fact...**

**(Tien and Chiaotzu arrive at the battlefield)**

**TIEN: I did.**

"Yay, more are keep coming!" Ruby said.

**VEGETA: (sarcastically) Oh, goody, more of them. Who the hell are you?**

**NAPPA: Vegeta, look, more bald people, (looks at Krillin) the small one, (looks at Piccolo and Tien) the two tall ones, and- (looks at Chiaotzu) Ah... Ah... Vegeta! Look, a Pokémon.**

Everyone laughed.

"He looks like a Pokémon!" Jaune said.

**CHIAOTZU: I'm not a Pokémon! I'm Chiaotzu! Chiaotzu!**

**NAPPA: Did you hear that, Vegeta? It's a Chiaotzu. (holds a Poké Ball) I'm gonna catch it!**

**CHIAOTZU: I told you, I'm not a Poké- (gets hit by a Poké Ball) OW!**

Everyone laughed.

"He threw it!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**NAPPA: Awwww, it didn't work, Vegeta.**

**VEGETA: That's because you have to damage it first.**

**NAPPA: Alright, let's see if I can get a critical!**

**(Chiaotzu flinches in response; Yamcha arrives at the battlefield)**

**YAMCHA: Hey, guys, I'm here now.**

**KRILLIN: (joyfully) It's Yamcha!**

Nova burst out laughing.

"What's with the heroic music?" Yang said.

"I bet that he will die." Blake said.

**YAMCHA: That's right- don't worry, guys, we worked ourselves half to death with our training, so I know as long as we stick together, we'll take on these Saiyans, and WE WILL WI-**

**(Saibamen latches onto Yamcha and self-destructs. All that's left after the explosion is Yamcha's corpse.)**

Nova couldn't stop laughing.

"Called it."

"Yamcha to the rescue!" Nova said while laughing.

"But he looked cool!" Nora said.

"He had sex with his cat." Yang said.

"Is he dead?" Ruby said.

"Yep." Nova said.

**KRILLIN: (off-screen) Yeah...! Woooo...!**

**[ENDING SEQUENCE]**

**[STINGER]**

**(Nappa is naming the remaining five Saibamen, with an arrow pointing to the first four from right to left)**

**NAPPA: And that one's Snuggles, and that one's Foofoo, and that one's Cabbagehead, and that one's Other-Cabbagehead, (shows a Saibamen struggling to get up) and that one's Vegeta Jr.**

This got few laughs.

**[Vegeta kills Vegeta Jr.]**

**NAPPA: Vegeta Jr., Nooooo! **

Everyone laughed.

"Vegeta Jr, no!" Ruby repeated.

"Alright, next episode." Nova said.

**And done! Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	41. DBZA EP8&9

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 40:**** DBZ Abridged EP8&9**

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Dragonball GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(scene opens up at Kame House with Bulma, Master Roshi, Oolong and Puar watching a telecast of Yamcha's death)**

"Why did you laugh with his death? It's not funny." Pyrrha said.

"Because it's a joke that the community made. He died by a Saibaimen and the pose is very iconic." Nova said.

"Wow. Poor Yamcha." Yang said.

**MR. KENT: And there you have it, folks. That man is dead. Very, very dead.**

**JIMMY: Mr. Kent, if you had to come up with a word for how dead he is, what would it be?**

**MR. KENT: "Cadaverific!"**

"Uh...that sounds more happy." Ruby said.

**BULMA: (breaks down crying in Master Roshi's chest) Yamcha! No! I was saving myself for him!**

"Bullshit!" Yang said.

**MASTER ROSHI: (...?) Bulls**t!**

Everyone laughed.

**[OPENING SEQUENCE]**

"Sparking!" Ruby said.

**(scene shifts to the battlefield with Krillin being struck with grief over Yamcha's death)**

**KRILLIN: Yamcha! Yamcha! Yamcha was our friend...and you bastards killed him! Don't worry, Yamcha, I'll avenge you!**

"It's Krillin's time to shine!" Nora said.

**PICCOLO: Oh right, you're going to avenge him? The five-year-old over here is stronger than you are!**

"Give him a chance!" Ruby said.

**KRILLIN: But I-**

**PICCOLO: Face it, you're pretty much here as a meat shield.**

"Why so much hate on Krillin?!" Jaune said.

**(Krillin is extremely angry)**

**NAPPA: Ha! Look at him, Vegeta. He's like the Raditz of their group.**

"Ohhhh. That's the cherry on top." Yang said.

**KRILLIN: That's it! I can't take it anymore! I can only be pushed so far!**

**(HUD from Final Fantasy VII appears at the bottom of the screen, selecting "Krillin" and "Limit")**

**(Scatter Shot appears at the top of the screen)**

"An RPG HUD?" Jaune said.

"Final Fantasy joke." Nova said.

**KRILLIN: KRILLIN LIMIT BREEEEEAK!**

**(Battle music from Final Fantasy VII plays as Krillin uses Scatter Shot to kill three Saibamen; Victory music from Final Fantasy VII plays after Krillin's rampage)**

"That was so cool!" Ruby said.

"That's an impressive move." Weiss said!

**KRILLIN: (while catching his breath) That was...for Yamcha.**

**VEGETA: Congratulations, you've just destroyed the equivalent of three Raditz.**

**KRILLIN: That's right! What now, you son of a bi-**

**VEGETA: Nappa here is worth five Raditz.**

"I like how they compare Raditz' power with theirs." Yang said.

**KRILLIN: I- uh... What?**

**VEGETA: And I am worth fifteen Raditz.**

"So his power level is close to 15000?" Ren said.

"Yeah." Nova said.

**KRILLIN: (disappointed) I... Oh...**

**NAPPA: Aw, come on, don't get so down on yourself. At least you've proven that your Raditz is still stronger than our Raditz.**

**(scene shift to Raditz)**

**RADITZ: I...hate...all of you!**

Everyone laughed.

"Screw Raditz!" Nora said.

**(scene shifts back to the battlefield)**

**VEGETA: So in short, good for you. Oh, by the way, you missed one.**

**(one Saibamen pops out from hiding and tries to attack Gohan, only to be grabbed by Piccolo)**

**PICCOLO: Yeah, no.**

**(punches the Saibamen in its stomach and throws it in the air before blasting it with a mouth blast)**

"That was badass!" Yang said.

"I like how they showed its skeleton and then destroy it completely." Blake said.

"Piccolo is the best." Ruby said.

**GOHAN: That was incredible, Mr. Piccolo!**

**TIEN: Yeah, way to go!**

"Wait, Krillin killed three. Why aren't they cheering for him too?" Blake said.

"Because he's Krillin." Nova said.

"Poor Krillin." Pyrrha said.

**KRILLIN: But, what about-**

**PICCOLO: Well, you can all learn a thing or two.**

**KRILLIN: But I just killed three of them-**

**CHIAOTZU: Nobody cares, Krillin!**

**KRILLIN: Aww...**

This got a few laughs.

**VEGETA: Well, Nappa, looks like it's your turn to teach them a lesson.**

**NAPPA: Yeah, right out of Saiyan University. (begins walking towards the Z-Fighters)**

"Wait, he went to university?" Weiss said. "That's hard to believe."

**VEGETA: Hold on, you went to college?**

"Even Vegeta can't believe it." Yang said.

**NAPPA: Yup.**

**VEGETA: What the hell could someone like you possibly major in?!**

**NAPPA: Child Psychology.**

"That's very interesting." Pyrrha said.

"And very out of place." Blake said.

**GOHAN: Wow, That sounds really interes-**

**NAPPA: With a minor in Pain! (dashes towards Tien and severs his left arm in one punch)**

**(Tien screams in absolute pain)**

Everyone got shocked.

"Holy crap! He severed his arm!" Jaune said.

"With a punch!" Ruby said.

"I hope I never lose an arm." Yang said.(foreshadowing)

**VEGETA: Looks like he's been...disarmed!**

Only Yang laughed.

**(silence as the wind blows)**

**NAPPA: (off-screen) I get it!**

**VEGETA: Shut it, Nappa.**

Everyone laughed.

**(Tien leaps in the sky)**

**NAPPA: Oh, I love this game! Tag! (chases Tien and kicks him towards the ground) No tagbacks.**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"He's not even able to tagback!" Nora said.

**TIEN: (thinking) Agh, damn, this guy's strong. Maybe it would be best if I just took Chiaotzu and- (notices Chiaotzu is gone) Wait, where is he?!**

**(Chiaotzu is seen latched onto Nappa's back)**

**NAPPA: Vegeta, the Pokémon's on my back.**

"Wait, what is he going to do?" Blake said.

"Blow up." Nova said.

"He will sacrifice himself?!" Pyrrha said.

**TIEN: Chiaotzu! No!**

**NAPPA: Aww, I can't get it off, Vegeta! Here, I'll use Rock Smash.**

**(smashes his back into a rock, causing Chiaotzu to whimper in pain)**

Everyone winced.

**TIEN: Chiaotzu, you get down from there this instant!**

**CHIAOTZU: (telepathically) No! I have to do this, Tenshinhan! For all the people of Earth, our friends, and especially you!**

**TIEN: But Chiaotzu...!**

**CHIAOTZU: (telepathically) Don't worry, you can just wish me back with the Dragon Balls! Now, goodbye, my friend!**

"Oh yeah, the have the Dragon Balls." Ruby said.

**TIEN: That won't work, Chiaotzu! We already wished you back once with the Dragon Balls; we can't do it twice!**

"Wait, what?"

**CHIAOTZU: (telepathically) Wait, wha-? (explodes)**

"He blew up!" Weiss said.

"Why can't they bring him back?" Ren said.

"You can't make the same wish twice." Nova said.

"That sucks." Nora said.

**TIEN: N-No! No! Chiaotzu! CHIAOTZUUUU!**

**KRILLIN: Oh, my God... He blew into more pieces than Yamcha!**

"Bro!" Yang said.

"Not cool." Ruby said.

**TIEN: Krillin!**

**KRILLIN: What?**

**TIEN: He was my closest friend! I... I loved him.**

**KRILLIN: As a memorial to Yamcha: gay.**

**TIEN: (thinking) At least your sacrifice wasn't in vain, my friend.**

**(Nappa is revealed to be alive, leaving Chiaotzu's sacrifice to be in vain)**

**NAPPA: Aww, dang it, Vegeta. He used Self-Destruct. I hate it when they do that.**

**TIEN: (off-screen) DAMN IT!**

"Not even a scratch! Or a burn mark!" Weiss said.

"He's more powerful than they thought." Pyrrha said.

"His sacrifice was in vain." Blake said.

**NAPPA: (lands next to a grieving Tien) Awwww, I think I made him mad, Vegeta. Should I talk to him about it? The first step to working out your problems is healthy communication. And-**

**TIEN: HUAAAH! (tries to punch Nappa, but hits a boulder)**

"He's mad now." Yang said.

"Yeah, but what can he do with one arm?" Weiss said.

**NAPPA: Hey, that was very rude! I was talking to VEGETA! (punches Tien, launching him into a boulder)**

"You killed his friend!" Ruby said.

**GOHAN: Should- shouldn't we help him?**

**PICCOLO: Can't you see he has to fight this battle on his own? He's fighting for the honor of his fallen comrade.**

**(Nappa is seen beating Tien to a pulp)**

**TIEN: (getting hit with each word) HELP ME, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP MEEEE!**

This got a few laughs.

**PICCOLO: Like a hero.**

Everyone laughed.

**GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, help him!**

**PICCOLO: Oh, fine! (to Krillin) Krillin, go!**

**(Piccolo and Krillin jump into the air to help Tien)**

**NAPPA: For PONY! (Piccolo hits him) UWAGH! He hit me! (Krillin knocks Nappa towards the ground) GAH HA! He hit me too!**

This got a few laughs.

"For ponies?" Yang said.

**(Nappa is seen flying towards Gohan)**

**PICCOLO: Gohan, hurry up and blast him with all your strength! Before he has time to DOOOOODGE!**

**("dodge" echoes traumatically in Gohan's head, causing him to scream and run for cover)**

Everyone laughed.

"He's traumatized!" Blake said while laughing.

"It's not that hard!" Weiss said.

**PICCOLO: Damn you, Pavlov!**

**(scene goes static and switches to a news reporter)**

**NEWS REPORTER: For those of you who don't know who Pavlov is, allow us to take a brief moment to explain. Back in 1904-**

**OOLONG: (banging his hand on the TV) Get back to the fight!**

**NEWS REPORTER: Annnd back to the fight.**

"Thank you." Ruby said.

**(scene goes static and changes back to the fight, with Nappa recovering from Piccolo and Krillin's surprise attack)**

**NAPPA: Hey, not gonna lie. Dick move, guys, dick move.**

**KRILLIN: Piccolo, do you have a plan?**

**PICCOLO: That depends; can you get him in a Full Nelson?**

"Not Krillin too!"

**KRILLIN: Any plans that don't involve killing me?**

**PICCOLO: Well, there is the multi-form technique.**

**KRILLIN: But doesn't that cut our power levels by-**

**PICCOLO: Plan A or Plan B, Krillin!**

**KRILLIN: Plan B! Plan B!**

Everyone laughed.

**PICCOLO & KRILLIN: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu! (three clones of Piccolo and Krillin appear)**

"That's a cool technique." Jaune said.

**NAPPA: Vegeta! I can't..."believe it".**

**(Vegeta gives off an annoyed groan off-screen)**

This got a few laughs.

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

"Naruto's catchphrase." Nova said.

**(the three Piccolos and Krillins attack Nappa, who dominates them with his superior strength)**

**PICCOLO: (thinking) Hrgh, he's dodging every hit! We can't lay a finger on him! What kind of incredible mental discipline has this guy gone through?**

"Probably through kindergarten." Weiss said and everyone laughed.

**NAPPA: Patty cake, patty cake, baker's MAN! (punches a Krillin clone) Bake me a cake as fast as you CAN! (punches a Piccolo clone and eventually launches all three clones towards the ground)**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"Patty cake?! Really?!" Yang said while laughing.

**(Krillin slams onto the ground, followed by his two clones, causing him to groan in pain)**

**(Krillin Owned Count: 5-7)**

"His clones counted too?" Blake said.

**(Piccolo also hits the ground, followed by his doubles, which knocks him down)**

**NAPPA: Good effort, but I'm the Patty Cake champion.**

"What?" Yang said.

**PICCOLO: (after a short pause) What?**

**NAPPA: But, at least you didn't uselessly self-destruct like that Pokémon.**

**TIEN: (gets up from Nappa's beatdown earlier) You stupid...ugly...son of a bitch. (begins charging a blast) His name...was CHIAOTZU! KIKŌHŌ! (fires a Spirit Tri-Beam at Nappa)**

**NAPPA: Yeah, that Chiaotzu- OH, MY GOOOOOD! (gets hit directly by Tien's attack)**

**TIEN: (thinking) Right here... Right behind you, Chiaotzu. (falls on the ground, dying from using up all his energy)**

"That was epic." Jaune said.

"Why did he die? He lost an arm." Weiss said.

"That technique uses a lot of energy, weakening him to the point of death. Nova said.

"Dangerous move." Yang said.

**(Nappa again survives the attack, this time, losing some of his armor)**

**NAPPA: Aha, pointless.**

"Come on!" Ruby said.

**KRILLIN: (absolutely terrified) We're gonna die, aren't we.**

**NAPPA: Yep! (charges towards the remaining Z-Fighters, who all stand frozen in fear, but suddenly stops in midair and looks at Vegeta)**

"Why did he stop?" Blake said.

"Maybe he saw something." Pyrrha said.

**NAPPA: Vegeta!**

**VEGETA: (annoyed) What?**

**NAPPA: I can fly...!**

Everyone laughed.

"And now he noticed?!" Weiss said while laughing.

**VEGETA: (starts stammering before letting out a sigh) Yes, Nappa, yes you can.**

**KRILLIN: You know, you're gonna be in a lot of trouble once Goku gets here!**

**VEGETA: Who?**

**KRILLIN: Goku! He's stronger than all of us combined!**

**VEGETA: Well then, I guess we better kill you before he gets here.**

"Good thinking." Blake said.

**KRILLIN: W-Wait, I mean...**

**NAPPA: But Vegeta, I wanna meet the strong guy!**

**VEGETA: Nappa just kill them first and-**

**NAPPA: But I want him to see us kill them!**

"Why some bad guys want the hero to come? They could probably lose." Weiss said.

"The warrior's pride. They would do anything to fight." Pyrrha said.

"That's stupid."

"But it's their way of living." Nova said.

**VEGETA: Oh, God, there's no arguing with you. Fine, I'll give you three hours tops. After that, I'm killing all of you.**

**NAPPA: Yay! And now we wait.**

**(Thirty seconds later...)**

**NAPPA: Is he here yet?**

**VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: No.**

"Not this again." Blake said.

**NAPPA: Is he here yet?**

**VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: No...!**

**NAPPA: Is he here yet?**

**VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: No!**

**NAPPA: Is he here yet?**

**VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: NO!**

**(long pause)**

**NAPPA: Is he here ye-?**

**VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: NO!**

**VEGETA: Goddamn it, Nappa, just go do something! Go have fun- I don't care how.**

**NAPPA: Oh boy! This is gonna be my best...day...ever.**

**(scene shifts to Nappa destroying both naval and air forces, laughing while doing so, while Peewee's Pocket Circus plays in the background)**

Everyone was shocked and wanted to laugh.

"That's so messed up." Yang said.

**(scene shifts back to the battlefield with the Z-Fighters waiting for Goku until Vegeta's scouter beeps)**

**VEGETA: Well, time's up- time to die. (removes his scouter and throws it at the ground)**

**PICCOLO: So, where's your friend-**

**NAPPA: I'm back! (elbows Piccolo in the head)**

**[ENDING SEQUENCE]**

Everyone laughed.

**[STINGER]**

**VEGETA: Nappa, where did your armor go?**

**NAPPA: I had a hell of a day, Vegeta. I sank their battleship...and their whales.**

**(scene shifts to the remains of a navy ship floating in a bloody ocean, presumably the blood of the whales Nappa indirectly murdered)**

**AQUAMAN: (off-screen) Nooo... **

"Wait was that Aquaman?" Jaune said.

"Yeah. His whales are dead. Next episode!" Nova said.

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Dragonball GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(scene opens up with Gohan trying to wake up Piccolo, who is unconscious from Nappa's attack last episode)**

**GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, wake up! You have to stop him!**

**PICCOLO: (incoherent mumbling)**

**KRILLIN: Don't worry, Gohan! Goku's never let us down! I'm sure he'll be here any second!**

**(scene cuts to Goku eating food at Princess Snake's castle at Other World)**

"He's eating in a moment like that?!" Weiss said.

"Isn't that Princess Snake's castle?" Jaune said.

"Why would he be there?" Ruby said.

**GOKU: (with his mouth full) Thanks for the food again, Princess Snake!**

**PRINCESS SNAKE: Well, it's the least I could do for trying to eat you like that. But I thought there was... (GOKU: Hmm, bacon!) something else you had to do? Something about Saiyans...and the Earth?**

**(Goku gulps down his food and takes a long pause)**

**(scene cuts to Goku running on Snake Way)**

**GOKU: Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!**

Everyone laughed.

**[OPENING SEQUENCE]**

**(scene shifts to Gohan still trying to wake up an unconscious Piccolo)**

**GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, get up! Please, get up! Seriously, he's gonna kill us!**

**NAPPA: Well, the green guy's out. Too bad. Guess I'll have to find someone else to play with!**

**KRILLIN: (thinking) Please not me! Please not me! Please not me! Please not me! PLEASE NOT ME!**

"He would prefer Gohan to go?" Pyrrha said.

**NAPPA: Eenie-meenie-minie-(to Gohan) you.**

**GOHAN: Wh-What?! (Nappa kicks Gohan) AUGH!**

This got a few laughs.

"Why is this funny?! It's not!"

**(Gohan gets sent flying into a boulder and lands on the ground)**

**KRILLIN: (off-screen) WHOOO! Not me! (notices Gohan does not get up) Gohan? (Nappa looks towards Krillin) Uh-oh! Thought that would have lasted longer!**

"We thought too." Yang said.

**NAPPA: Midget's next! (charges after Krillin) RHAAAA!**

**KRILLIN: (desperately) Wait! My turn! My turn! My turn!**

**NAPPA: Oh! (suddenly stops dead in his tracks)**

"Why did he stop again?!" Blake said.

**VEGETA: What- Nappa, what are you doing?**

**NAPPA: It's his turn, Vegeta. I have to wait for him.**

"Oh come on! Like in RPGs!" Ruby said.

**VEGETA: (stammers in complete confusion while his nose starts to bleed)**

"Why did his nose bled?" Jaune said.

"Probably an aneurysm." Weiss said.

"Or he saw a hot chick." Nova said.

**NAPPA: You okay, Vegeta?**

**VEGETA: Yes just...just an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity...**

**NAPPA: Wow, didn't think you were that stupid, Vegeta.**

**(Vegeta screams in frustration)**

Everyone laughed.

**VEGETA: (struggling to restrain his temper) Nine minutes, eighteen seconds... Nine minutes, eighteen seconds...**

**NAPPA: What's that, Vegeta?**

**VEGETA: Happiest...moment...of...my life.**

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

"You'll see." Nova said.

**KRILLIN: Hey! STOP TREATING ME LIKE A JOKE, DAMMIT! I've got a new technique- (begins charging his Destructo Disc) Which I probably could have used earlier and maybe saved all of our friends' lives... But, that's besides the point! Get ready for my DESTRUCTO DISC!**

"Destructo disk?" Jaune said.

**PICCOLO: (barely alive) Laaame...**

This got a few laughs.

"I found it okay." Ruby said.

**KRILLIN: Now, take THIS! (throws Destructo Disc at Nappa)**

**NAPPA: Ooo! A frisbee, Vegeta!**

"Catch it like a dog then." Weiss said.

**VEGETA: Nappa, no! It's a trick!**

**NAPPA: But Vegeta, Trix are for kids.**

"Uhh..." Ruby said.

"Cereal." Nova said.

**VEGETA: ...You know what, Nappa? On second thought, catch it. Catch it with your teeth.**

This got a few laughs.

**NAPPA: Yay, like a doggy! Bow-(gets cut by the disc, which rebounds towards a small mountain) Ow!**

**RICOLA GUY: Riiiicolaaaa... (The disc cuts the top of the plateau off, causing it to fall) OH, GODDAMN IT!(the top collapses into a pile of rubble)**

Everyone laughed.

"That guy again!" Ruby said.

"That disk cut the entire mountain!" Blake said.

"Their moves are very "destructive". Get it?" Yang said. Nova just breathed, so he won't punch her in the face.

**NAPPA: (seeing the cut on his face) Oh no! My face! My precious modeling career!**

**(Remembers having his photo taken for a Vogue magazine)**

This got a few laughs.

**NAPPA: You know, I was trying to be a team player. (begins charging a blast) Trying to be a nice guy!**

"He killed their friends!" Pyrrha said.

**KRILLIN: You killed half our friends!**

**NAPPA: I said, "trying!" (throws blast at Krillin)**

**KRILLIN: Well you're failing- Oh, God! (gets hit by Nappa's blast)**

**(Krillin Owned Count: 8)**

Everyone just winced.

**NAPPA: And so are you!**

**PICCOLO: I'm back! (shoots Nappa in the back)**

**NAPPA: AAAAAUGH... Iseewhatyoudidthere.**

**PICCOLO: Now, it's you and me, big guy! And I'm gonna kick your a-**

**(Gohan, also regaining conscious, kicks Nappa into a pile boulder)**

**GOHAN: Take that, you insufferable f**king simpleton!**

"WHOA!" Ruby said.

"Gohan got mad." Yang said.

**PICCOLO: WHOA, Gohan! What the hell?!**

**GOHAN: (calmed down) Oh? Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Piccolo, I didn't mean to snap like that!**

**PICCOLO: No, stay snapped! STAY SNAPPED- (Nappa recovers from the attack) Augggh, goddamn it...**

**NAPPA: (growls) You-a-making-me-so-mad! (begins charging up a powerful blast while Gohan stands still, completely paralyzed in fear)**

"Dodge!" Weiss said.

"Wrong word." Nora said.

**NAPPA: Vegeta, look, "Imma firing my-" (face turns into Shoop the Whoop) BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!**

Everyone laughed.

"Oh, it never geets old." Nova said.

**(Gohan still does not try and dodge the blast and stands still, paralyzed with fear)**

**PICCOLO: (thinking while running towards Gohan) Alright, it's time to redeem myself- through one final act of redemption. (appears in front of Gohan to protect him from Nappa's attack) I'll save Gohan and- Wait a second, why didn't I just grab him? I can probably still do that now, actually! Yeah, that's it, I'll grab him and throw him out of the way- (gets hit by Nappa's blast) GAAAAAAAAAAH!**

**(a giant explosion occurs, which causes a giant shockwave)**

"Piccolo, no!" Ruby said.

**KRILLIN: WAAHAA!**

**(smoke clears, revealing that Piccolo is still alive, but mortally wounded)**

**PICCOLO: Yeah, that's right, I can take anything you can dish o- (in his thoughts) oh, God, there go my organs. (falls to the ground)**

**GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo!**

"Wait, can't he regenerate his organs?" Jaune said.

"He doesn't have enough energy. Also, it would hurt more." Nova said.

"So, he's gonna die?" Nora said.

"Unfortunately."

"But if he dies, the Dragon Balls will turn into normal rocks." Ruby said.

"Then everyone will stay dead." Blake said.

**PICCOLO: (weakly) Unh... Gohan...come closer... There's...something...I have to tell you...**

**GOHAN: Is it that you always pictured me as a son, because you can never make your own- considering you lack the reproductive organs to produce your own legitimate offspring?**

**PICCOLO: (weakly) Neeeeerrrrrrd.**

This got a few laughs.

**GOHAN: Wh-what?**

**PICCOLO: Just...shut up and...listen.**

**GOHAN: What is it, Mr. Piccolo?**

**PICCOLO: (weakly) Why...didn't...you... (at the top of his lungs) DOOOOOOOODGE?! Bleh. (dies)**

Everyone laughed.

**GOHAN: NOOOOOO! (his scream continues to echo, eventually being heard at Kami's Lookout)**

**KAMI: Ugh! Well Mr. Popo, it seems my time has come. But don't worry, my friend, you can go to Namek and wish myself and the others back with their Dragon Balls. It will be a long and arduous journey, but I'm sure you can-**

**MR. POPO: Bitch, I ain't going nowhere.**

"He's an asshole, even to Kami?!" Weiss said.

"Pecking order." Nora said.

**KAMI: But Mr. Popo, the fate of the entire universe is-**

**MR. POPO: Pecking order!**

**KAMI: But... I... Well then... goodbye, my friend. (fades away following the death of Piccolo)**

**MR. POPO: (zooms in to his eyes) Byyyye.**

"Now he rules the world."

**(scene shifts back to the battlefield, with Krillin helplessly watching Gohan mourn over Piccolo's death)**

**NAPPA: Vegeta, did you see me kill the green guy?**

**VEGETA: (reading a magazine) Yes, Nappa, that was a very good kick.**

Everyone laughed.

**NAPPA: Daww, Vegeta! You weren't watching! Can you at least watch me kill the toddler?**

**VEGETA: Ugh, fine! (throws magazing at the ground)**

**GOHAN: GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I'm gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal tract as a condom while I fornicate with your skull!**

"What?" everyone said.

**NAPPA: (short pause) What?**

**GOHAN: I'M GONNA SKULLF*CK YOU! MASENKOOO-HAAAAA! (fires a Masenko at Nappa)**

**NAPPA: AAAAAH!**

**(Nappa deflects Gohan's blast into a plateau)**

"I wasn't expecting Gohan's vocabulary to have those words!" Weiss said.

**NAPPA: (while holding his hand, which is numb) Arrrrrgh. Bitch Please!**

**GOHAN: I'm sorry, Mr. Piccolo. I-I failed you...**

**KRILLIN: You sure did! I uh... I mean...sorry for your loss.**

"Come on, he's a toddler!" Pyrrha said.

**NAPPA: Well, it's been fun, kid-I mean, for me, not for you. As for you, everyone important to you is dead.**

**KRILLIN: Hey, I'm still alive-**

**NAPPA: Everyone important!**

**KRILLIN: (sadly) Dammit.**

This got a few laughs.

"No owned count?" Yang said.

**NAPPA: (raises his foot) Now, Nappa Smash!**

**(Gohan and Krillin both close their eyes, preparing for the worst, but Gohan is suddenly moved out of the way before Nappa can crush him with his foot)**

"How did he move out of there?" Blake said.

**NAPPA: Oo-wa-waa? Hey! Where'd he go! Did he disappear, or was he never there to begin with? (dramatic music and screen zooms in on Nappa's face)**

This got a few laughs.

"Gohan wasn't real. What a plot twist." Nora said.

**(Gohan is shown to be on top of Flying Nimbus)**

**NAPPA: Oh wait, there he is.**

"Hey, it's Goku's cloud!" Ruby said.

"Hey came! Finally!" Yang said.

**GOHAN: Huh?**

**(Goku lands, finally arriving at scene of the battle)**

**GOKU: Hey, guys! What'd I miss? I-(notices everyone's corpses) Oh, are they all... Tenshinhan... Piccolo...? Yamcha? Oh wow, especially Yamcha... (notices Chiatzu body is nowhere to be seen) Wait, where's Chiaotzu?**

**KRILLIN: Oh, he's here...and there...and there...and-**

"Too soon!" Jaune said.

**GOHAN: Krillin!**

**KRILLIN: What?**

**GOHAN: Too soon!**

**GOKU: I'm sorry I'm late, you guys. But I brought some Senzu Beans for you!**

**KRILLIN: Woohoo! Thank you, Ex Machina.**

**GOKU: (to Vegeta and Nappa) Hey! Which one of you did all this?**

**NAPPA: That was me, totally calling it. (Goku is shaking in rage over the loss of his friends) I killed every single one of them- except for Chiaotzu. He blew himself up!**

**(Goku continues to shake in anger and begins to power up)**

"He's screwed." Yang said.

**GOKU: (powering up) HHHHAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!**

"The meme!" Nova said.

**NAPPA: Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level?**

**VEGETA: (Takes off his scouter) It's...one thousand and six.**

"Really? I was expecting him to be stronger." Weiss said.

**NAPPA: Wha- really?**

**VEGETA: Yeah, kick his ass, Nappa! (turns off his scouter)**

**NAPPA: YAY! (charges into battle with Goku)**

**(Nappa gets beaten to pulp while Vegeta, Gohan, and Krillin watch, completely shocked at Goku's beatdown)**

**NAPPA: (while getting pummeled by Goku) OOOWWW! Ow ow ow ow! Dah! Doh! Dah! Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh!**

Everyone laughed.

"Wait, something's off." Blake said.

**VEGETA: Hm, that doesn't seem right...**

**NAPPA: (faintly in background) My arm doesn't bend that way! My arm doesn't bend that way! (loud crunching sound is heard) Oh, now it does!**

Everyone laughed.

**VEGETA: Wait, wait, wait, wait... Nappa!**

**(Nappa gets knocked over next to Vegeta)**

**NAPPA: (in pain) WHAAAAAT?!**

**VEGETA: I had the Scouter upside down. (once again takes off his scouter) It's over nine thousand. (calmly crushes scouter) Rah.**

"He didn't sound angry." Ruby said.

**NAPPA: Why do you sound so bored?!**

**VEGETA: Because, it's still not a threat.**

**NAPPA: But-**

**VEGETA: To me. Besides, once we get the Dragon Balls, we'll just wish for immortality! Then no one will be able to stop us.**

**GOKU: Wait, what? But you killed Piccolo.**

"Their wish is gone." Yang said.

**VEGETA: And your point is...?**

**GOKU: Well, if he's dead, the Dragon Balls don't work.**

**VEGETA: Wh... what?**

**NAPPA: Oh, and I totally killed that guy. Oh well, at least we still had fun getting here, right, Vegeta? (Vegeta growls in anger) Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? (Vegeta continues growling in anger) **

"Kill him now." Blake said.

**NAPPA: Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vege- (scene cuts to Nappa getting killed by Vegeta) AAAAAAAAAGH! (gets obliterated in an explosion as Vegeta is last seen staring at the sky and giving an evil smirk)**

Everyone laughed.

"He's dead! Finally!" Weiss said.

"His smile was the best part." Blake said.

"Wait. I want to see something." Yang said. She look at the time Vegeta blew up Nappa. "Oh my god. It's at 9:18!". She then laughed.

"Oh, so that's what he meant." Ruby said.

**[ENDING SEQUENCE] **

"Alright! Now, the final episode, in three parts!" Nova said.

**And done! Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	42. DBZA EP10

**Hey everyone. I uploaded the right chapter. My bad.**

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 41:**** DBZ Abridged EP10 (All parts)**

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**VEGETA: (laughs maniacally) He's gone! He's finally gone! I'm so happy right now! I might not even slaughter you all!**

"Wow, really?" Ruby said.

**KRILLIN: Re-Really?**

"No." Yang said.

**VEGETA: (laughter dies down) Oh no, you're all thoroughly screwed.**

**KRILLIN: Awww.**

**GOKU: Gohan, Krillin, I'll handle Vegeta on my own. I need the both of you to get as far away as- (Krillin is suddenly gone) Where'd Krillin go?**

**(scene cuts to Krillin screaming flying away and then back to the battlefield where Goku places his hand on Gohan)**

Everyone laughed.

**GOKU: Gohan, follow Krillin. Get home to your mother.**

**GOHAN: Right, Daddy. Is there anything you want me to tell her?**

**GOKU: Yes, Gohan. Tell her... ("Coming Undone" by Korn plays as the camera slightly zooms in on Goku's face) to put dinner on... ("Coming Undone" plays again with the camera zooming in on Goku's face) because I'm hungry. (plays a third time with the camera once again zooming in on Goku's face)**

"Shit's about to get real."

"The final fight." Jaune said.

**[OPENING SEQUENCE]**

**(scene cuts to Goku flying down on the battlefield)**

**VEGETA: Alright, are you ready for this?**

**GOKU: You bet I am! But first, why don't we take this battle somewhere else?**

**VEGETA: What's wrong with here?**

"Besides the dead bodies?" Weiss said.

**GOKU: I don't know. Something about it doesn't feel right.**

**VEGETA: Well, it is a little corpsy. (looks at the corpses of Yamcha, Tien, and Piccolo)**

**(scene shifts to King Kai's planet)**

**NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on King Kai's planet.**

**KING KAI: (in his thoughts) So, the fight is about to begin. The showdown between the Saiyan elite and the low-class warrior, trained by me. (out loud) Takin' all bets, guys! Takin' all bets!**

"He's taking bets? In a moment like this?" Pyrrha said.

**BUBBLES: (subtitled) 70,000 zeni on the noble young warrior!**

"They're betting?!"

"He bet a lot of money! I think, I don't know the currency." Ruby said.

**BOJACK: (from inside King Kai's planet) Yargh! I bet 50 gold doubloons on the short one!**

**GREGORY: Uh, sir, is this really appropriate? If Goku loses, the entire Earth could be destroyed!**

"Someone with logic." Weiss said.

**(King Kai creates a large hammer)**

**KING KAI: You were saying?**

**GREGORY: D'ah, 1,000 zeni on Goku.**

**NARRATOR: Hey, can I get in on this?**

"Wait, the narrator too? But he already knows who wins." Blake said.

"Easy money." Yang said.

**KING KAI: Wait a second. Don't you already know the outcome of the fight?**

**NARRATOR: N-Noooo...**

"Can we also put a bet?"

"What's the point? Goku will win anyway." Jaune said.

"Besides, Nova would win because he already saw it." Blake said.

**(scene cuts back to Earth where Goku guides Vegeta to a wasteland to start their battle)**

**GOKU: This is it!**

**VEGETA: Ah, yes. A perfect place to mark your grave.**

**GOKU: Listen, we don't have to do this, you know. If you leave now and promise to never come back, I'll let you go. And we can stop this meaningless bloodshed.**

"Look how the wind blows their hair. It's amazing!" Jaune said.

"It is the final fight. Obviously the episode's budget is big." Weiss said.

"I like that Goku gives him a warning. He doesn't want anyone else to die." Pyrrha said.

**VEGETA: Such trite! Where's your Saiyan pride, Kakarot? We are proud warriors! Bred to fight and conquer. This planet has made you soft.**

**GOKU: Are you sure about this? Because even if you're a little sorry-**

"I'm pretty sure he's not sorry." Ruby said.

**VEGETA: No! I'm not sorry!**

**GOKU: Are you absolutely sure you-**

**VEGETA: Yes! I am entirely sure! (Goku begins powering up) I'm going to obliterate you and the rest of this planet myself with my own two-**

**GOKU: KAIO-KEN! (charges at Vegeta)**

**VEGETA**/Ruby**: Kaio-what-**

**(Goku punches Vegeta in the face and proceeds to attack him with a barrage of punches before knocking him away. Vegeta however recovers from the attack and kicks Goku in the face)**

"What was that?" Yang said.

"The Kaio-ken. A technique that multiplies your strength and speed. The biggest multiplier was x20, but using it can strain your body, even kill you." Nova said.

"All their techniques are amazing!" Pyrrha said.

**VEGETA: (breathes heavily) Okay, not bad. But still nothing compared to me. Now witness the power of a Saiyan elite!**

**GOKU: Elite? What's that mean?**

"He doesn't know the word?" Weiss said.

"What did you expect? He never went to school." Nova said.

**VEGETA: It means I'm of the upper class. A finer breed! The highest grade of warrior!**

**(Goku floats there silently, blinking confusedly)**

This got a few laughs.

"More simple words." Nora said.

**VEGETA: (sighs) Okay, consider yourself beef jerky while I'm filet mignon.**

"But both of them are good." Ruby said.

"Yeah, but beef jerky can't compare with filet mignon." Weiss said.

"I bet that you never ate beef jerky in your life." Yang said.

**GOKU: Oooh, I like both those things!**

**VEGETA: (after a short pause) I'm going to start beating you now. I don't know when I'll stop.**

**GOKU: Hopefully before dinner, because I told Gohan to tell Chi-Chi to- (Vegeta headbutts Goku) AH! (Vegeta elbows Goku towards the ground) Unh!**

**VEGETA: Hah! What's wrong, Kakarot? Can't keep up? (throws a fiery ki blast at Goku)**

"Did he just throw a fireball?" Blake said.

"He can control fire?" Ruby said.

"No and I don't know why they made him throw a fireball." Nova said.

**VEGETA: I told you, Kakarot. There's no way you can measure up to an elite like me! You're fighting a losing battle here. (Goku removes the torn portion of his shirt) You may as well just surrender this pathetic planet now and-**

**GOKU: Kaio-Ken times three! (once again turns Kaio-Ken and flies at Vegeta)**

**VEGETA: Times wha-**

**(Goku punches Vegeta in the face, sending him screaming and flying into a plateau)**

This got a few laughs.

**VEGETA: (in pain) This... proves... nothing.**

**GOKU: Are you okay in there?**

**VEGETA: (sarcastically) Yeah, I'm fan-f**king-tastic... nothing but gumdrops and ice-cream in here.**

**GOKU: (delighted) Oh, really? Can I come in too?**

"Being around idiots must be a torture for Vegeta." Blake said.

**VEGETA: (short pause) I'm surrounded by idiots.**

**GOKU: I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice-cream.**

**(Vegeta screams with rage as he destroys the plateau around him)**

Everyone laughed.

**VEGETA: I will not stand for this! I will not be humiliated by a low-class wretch!**

**GOKU: Aww, sounds like somebody's got an ice-cream headache!**

**VEGETA: THAT'S IT! EVERYONE DIES! (launches himself into the air with a purple aura surrounding him and begins charging up energy) Say goodbye to your planet, Kakarot!**

"Dude, relax!" Yang said.

"He's destroying the planet already? But it's too early." Jaune said.

**GOKU: Well, that's not very nice.**

"Of course not! He's evil!" Weiss said.

**VEGETA: OF COURSE NOT! I'M F**KING EVIL! GALICK GUN!**

"Did he say garlic?" Nora said.

"He said galick." Blake said.

"In the Japanese version, the move is actually called Garlic Cannon." Nova said.

"Why?" Weiss said.

"It's still better than special beam cannon." Yang said.

**GOKU: Oooh, did he say Garlic-**

**VEGETA: (in distance) AAARRRGH!**

Everyone laughed.

**GOKU: (powers up to Kaio-Ken x3) Oh man! (cups his hands behind his back for a Kamehameha wave) KA... ME... HA... ME...**

**VEGETA: FIRE!**

**GOKU: HA!**

**(both energy waves clash in mid-air)**

"Beam struggles are awesome!" Ruby said.

"Too bad that it's too bright." Blake said.

**VEGETA: This is the end, Kakarot! You don't stand a chance! I put all my power into this attack! (Goku is seen struggling in the clash) Now perish, with the rest of your pathetic world!**

**GOKU: Hungh... Kaio-Ken...**

**VEGETA: (stunned pause) No...**

**GOKU: Times...**

**VEGETA: (as if trying to deter Goku) No, no, no...**

"Vegeta is worried." Yang said.

**GOKU: FOUR! (Kamehameha overpowers Galick Gun)**

**VEGETA: Nononononononono- (gets carried away by the blast) FUUUUUUUUUUU...**

"Yeah! Vegeta is defeated!" Ruby said.

"It's not over." Weiss said.

**(scene shifts to Kame House)**

**NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back at the ranch.**

**(camera cuts in inside Kame House with Bulma, Chi-Chi, Ox-King, Master Roshi, Oolong, and Turtle)**

"Wait, why they showing them?" Nora said.

**BULMA: Remember when we used to do stuff? You know, be out there with them? And help?**

**(They all agree. Fortuneteller Baba is seen working her crystal ball.)**

"Ooh, the struggle of a side character." Jaune said.

**OOLONG: And remember the Red Ribbon Army?**

**(They all remember)**

**MASTER ROSHI: And what about King Piccolo?**

**(They all remember, with Bulma saying "Good times. Good times.")**

**BULMA: Whatever happened to Launch?**

**(silence)**

**MASTER ROSHI: Who?**

**(scene cuts to a bar with a hungover Launch and a bartender with "The Singing Sea" from "Cowboy Bebop" playing)**

**LAUNCH: (sighs)**

This got a few laughs.

"Who was that?" Yang said.

"That was Launch. When she sneezes, she changes her personality and hair colour." Nova said.

"Personality?" Blake said.

"One time she's nice and kind, and another time she's violent. He shot Goku a lot of times with a machine when he was a kid."

"Really? That must have been hilarious." Yang said.

"But why isn't she with them?" Jaune said.

"Because the author forgot about her." Nova said.

"Really?! He forgot a character?!" Blake said.

**(scene cuts to the sky)**

**NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back at the plot...**

This got a few laughs.

"Back to the important stuff." Yang said.

**VEGETA: (still getting carried off by Goku's Kamehameha) ...UUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! (moves away from the blast and starts breathing heavily) Son of a bitch! This can't be happening! I'm the prince! I'm supposed to be the best by default! (continues to breathe heavily before smirking) I'll show that little bastard! I'll become the mighty Ōzaru and crush him into the- (tires to look for the moon) Where's the moon? (in distance) WHERE'S THE DAMN MOON?!**

"Oh yeah, Piccolo blew it up." Ruby said.

**(cuts to a flashback of Piccolo staring at the moon)**

**PICCOLO: MOOOOOOOOOON! (fires a ki blast that destroys the moon)**

Everyone laughed.

"That was funnier than the real one!" Ruby said while laughing.

**(cuts back to the present where Vegeta lands in front of Goku.)**

**GOKU: Huh?**

**VEGETA: Very clever, Kakarot! I'd taken you for a fool but it seems you're far more cunning than you let on! But destroying the moon won't stop me! We've learned to create artificial moons that supply the necessary pl-**

**GOKU: Question.**

**VEGETA: What?**

**GOKU: Are they made of cheese?**

"I can't believe he said that." Blake said.

**VEGETA: (short pause) I'm going to enjoy this far more than I should.**

**(Vegeta creates an artificial moon and shoots it into the sky)**

"He created a moon?!" Weiss said.

"It's a ki sphere. The light that it illuminates, makes the Saiyans to transform, when there is no full moon." Nova said.

"That's creative." Ren said.

**VEGETA: Now watch, Kakarot, as your life becomes inconsequential, (camera slowly pans up Vegeta's body) as I reveal my giant monkey...**

**(camera stops in front of Vegeta's crotch; scene cuts to a group of viewers gasping in fear over seeing Vegeta's crotch at a jumbotron)**

**VEGETA: ...form.**

**(camera moves quickly up to Vegeta's face; crowd watching the jumbotron sigh in relief)**

"And I thought that he would say-"

"Don't say it!" Weiss interrupted Yang.

**PENIS GUY: Thank God, I thought he meant penis!**

Everyone laughed.

"Too late for that." Yang said.

**(Vegeta begins transforming into an Ōzaru)**

"Vegeta might be strong, but his size probably makes him slow." Pyrrha said.

**GOKU: (thinking) He's getting huge. That means he'll only be stronger. That means he won't be as fast- (Ōzaru Vegeta punches a plateau Goku is standing on) Oh, God, he's still as fast! **

"Or not."

**GOKU: (dodges a punch and lands on the ground) He's too powerful! I have to come up with a plan! Wait, I know! (out loud) I just have to think like a monkey! (closes his eyes) Hmm... (hears screeching noises) Hey, it's working!**

Everyone laughed.

"Think like a monkey? How would that work?!" Weiss said.

**KING KAI: (telepathically) No, that's just Bubbles. Get off my back, Bubbles!**

**(a loud thud is heard off screen with Bubbles groaning in pain)**

**KING KAI: Goku, listen, the only way that you can beat him is if you use the Spirit Bomb!**

**GOKU: (raises both hands into the sky) On it!**

**KING KAI: And whatever you do, make sure you're very well hidden! It's going to take a lot of time to gather up all that energy!**

**GOKU: (gets hit by Ōzaru Vegeta) Aaaaaaggggghhhh!**

**(crystal ball goes static)**

**PHONE OPERATOR: We're sorry. The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected. Please hang up and try again later.**

Everyone laughed.

"An operator?!" Yang said while laughing.

**KING KAI: Huh. **

"Next episode!" Ruby said.

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(scene opens up with Goku getting launched by Ōzaru Vegeta's attack)**

**ŌZARU VEGETA: What did I tell you, Kakarot? I'm ten times stronger in this form, while you are beaten and weary.**

**GOKU: (thinking) Man, this is worse than that time I was in high school, and all the guys called me "Geeko", and I was Piccolo's slave, I couldn't get Chi-Chi to like me, and...**

"Wait, what?" Yang said.

**GOKU: (out loud) Oh wow, I hit that rock harder than I thought.**

"What was he talking about?" Ruby said.

"Since Dragon Ball is a worldwide hit, the Americans made a movie." Nova said.

"And obviously that movie sucked." Weiss said.

"It wasn't only an insult to Dragon Ball and Japanese culture, it was also an insult to movies in general."

"It was that bad." Yang said.

"Yeah."

**ŌZARU VEGETA: Now, Kakarot, to finish this!**

**GOKU: (thinking) Oh man, what would Yamcha do?**

**(flashback to Yamcha exploding)**

Everyone laughed.

"Bad example." Ruby said.

**GOKU: (thinking) Um... um... What would Tien do?! (out loud) Wait, I know! (jumps in front of Ōzaru Vegeta)**

"Risk his life using a move that can kill him?" Weiss said.

**ŌZARU VEGETA: Prepare to die, Kakarot!**

**GOKU: Solar Flare! (blinds Ōzaru Vegeta and flies away)**

"Okay, that was smart to blind him." Blake said.

**ŌZARU VEGETA: AAAAH! My eyes! Oh God, it's like walking in on Frieza in the shower! Wait a minute, Frieza's always naked. AAAAAAGGGGHHH!**

This got a few laughs.

"Who's Frieza?" Ruby said.

"You'll see later." Nova said.

**GOKU: Alright, that should buy me some time, now let's see. Planet, give me your energy- everything you can spare!**

**ŌZARU VEGETA: (in background) Kakarot, when I find you you're going to die! And not any sort of good death! You're going to die horribly, terribly, I'm going to eat your... (continues to speak in the background)**

**GOKU: Oceans, forests, people of the planet, and all the animals that live alongside them! (starts glowing)**

**ŌZARU VEGETA: (in background) I'm going to hammer you... (continues to speak in the background)**

**GOKU: There, I think I have enough energy- but, maybe a little more wouldn't hurt...**

**(scene cuts to a large buck groaning and then collapses)**

**BABY DEER: Daddy? Daddy?**

Everyone was shocked, but half of them laughed.

"Oh no! The little deer!" Pyrrha said.

"That wasn't funny!" Weiss said.

**(scene cuts back to wastelands)**

**GOKU: (thinking) Alright, that should do it! All finished.**

**ŌZARU VEGETA: (regaining his eyesight) Finally, I can see again. Kakarot, I am going to KILL you!**

**GOKU: Now, take this! Energy from the entire world! (Ōzaru Vegeta fires a mouth blast at Goku) Well, if that don't beat all... (gets hit with the blast, losing the energy for the Spirit Bomb) AAAAAAAAH! (gets knocked into a plateau and onto the ground)**

"Well, the world is doomed. And that deer's death was in vain." Yang said.

**ŌZARU VEGETA: Hey, Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken?**

**GOKU: Huh?**

**ŌZARU VEGETA: Christopher Reeves! (crushes Goku's legs)**

Yang burst out laughing.

"That was mean." Ruby said.

**GOKU: (in agony) AAAAAAAOOWWW! That was in terrible taaaaaaste!**

**ŌZARU VEGETA: Don't care; evil! Now, time to crush you like an Arlian.**

**GOKU: A... what?**

**ŌZARU VEGETA: Exactly, now die!**

This got a few laughs.

**(Ōzaru Vegeta prepares to squash Goku with his finger, but Goku retaliates by blasting Ōzaru Vegeta's eye)**

**ŌZARU VEGETA: AAAUGH! Again with the f***ing eye! God... dammit!**

**GOKU: Hah! Now to make my cunning escape.**

**(shows Goku dodging Ōzaru Vegeta's attacks before jumping into the air... which it turns out to be an imagination in Goku's head)**

"Wait, his legs are broken." Jaune said.

**GOKU: Ah, that would be awesome.**

Everyone laughed.

**ŌZARU VEGETA: I've had enough of this. (grabs Goku) I'm going to crush the life out of you, you insolent little... (squeezes Goku)**

**GOKU: AAAAAAGGGH!**

**(scene shifts to Gohan and Krillin flying away)**

**GOHAN: Krillin, are you sure my dad's going to be okay all on his own?**

**KRILLIN: Oh, come on, Gohan, you saw how much stronger your dad's become. I'm sure he can take care of-**

**GOKU: (in distance) AAAAAAAAH!**

**KRILLIN: Ah, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.**

**(scene shifts back to Goku being crushed by Ōzaru Vegeta)**

**ŌZARU VEGETA: All right, Kakarot, let's hear those bones shatter! (crushes Goku harder, causing him to squeak) **

"Did he just make a squeak sound?" Yang said.

"He did." Jaune said.

"So that's why you made us do squeak sounds?" Weiss said.

"Yes. And because of Spongebob." Nova said.

**ŌZARU VEGETA: What the? (crushes Goku again, causing him to squeak again) My God, that's hilarious! (begins to repeatedly crush Goku, who squeaks while doing so) Hahahah! Muhahaha!**

Everyone laughed.

"He's enjoying it so much!" Ruby said while laughing.

**GOHAN: (arrives to help his father) Get your filthy hands off him, you damn dirty ape!**

**ŌZARU VEGETA: Oh, very creative. And what exactly will you do if I don't?**

**GOHAN: I'll make you regret it! Law of mass dictates that the mass of an object dramatically increases the force of impact when said object collides with the ground! And with your size, you'll make an extensively large impact upon your inevitable defeat!**

**(long pause)**

"What?" Yang said.

**GOKU & ŌZARU VEGETA: What?**

**GOHAN: The bigger they are, the harder they fall! (gets into a battle pose accompanied with a bwong sound)**

"Then why didn't he say that from the beginning?" Nora said.

**GOKU: What?**

**(Ōzaru Vegeta crushes him again, making him squeak)**

**GOKU: Argh! Stop that!**

Everyone laughed.

**ŌZARU VEGETA: Listen, kid, you're real brave and all, but your dad's beaten and broken. And neither of you have the skill or energy...**

**KRILLIN: Kienzan! (fires a Destructo Disc at Ōzaru Vegeta's tail, who dodges the attack by jumping)**

**ŌZARU VEGETA: ...to take me on.**

**KRILLIN: (offscreen) Dammit!**

"That was very close. He almost got his tail." Blake said.

**ŌZARU VEGETA: You're finished! All of your planet's greatest fighters—all of them—worthless in the presence of a Saiyan elite! None of you can stop me! None of you! (tail gets cut off by Yajirobe)**

"Yay, it's the fat guy that we saw in the lookout!" Ruby said.

"His name is Yanjirobe." Nova said.

**YAJIROBE: Runningrunningrunningrunningrunning! (runs away)**

**(Ōzaru Vegeta drops Goku)**

**GOKU: (squeaks as he slams the ground) Ow.**

This got a few laughs.

**ŌZARU VEGETA: God... God dammiiiiii... (reverts back to his original form)**

**VEGETA: ...iiiiiit! (starts breathing heavily)**

**KRILLIN: He's back to normal! Gohan, we can do this! We can beat him! WE HAVE A CHAN- (gets sent flying into a boulder)**

**(Krillin Owned Count: 9)**

"Or not." Yamg said and laughed.

**KRILLIN: (in pain) Oh God...**

**VEGETA: (to Gohan, who's whimpering in fear) You know, I thought I'd be angrier, what with the utter humiliation and loss of my tail, or maybe I'm just so unbelievably enraged that I have come full circle. (punches Gohan in the stomach and throws him next to Goku) Oh well. Either way, it's time to put an end to this.**

**GOKU: (telepathically) G-Gohan, is that you?**

**GOHAN: (telepathically) Hey, daddy... I'm... really sorry.**

**GOKU: (telepathically) It's okay, Gohan... You tried your best... At least you got home to your mother and told her to-**

**GOHAN: (telepathically) Um, actually, I never went home... I came back to save you...**

**GOKU: (telepathically) Oh...**

"And that's how Gohan became a disappointment." Nova said.

"Just because he didn't went to his mother?!" Weiss said.

**GOHAN: (telepathically) D-Daddy?**

**GOKU: (telepathically) Everyone makes mistakes, Gohan... (reaches out to Gohan's hand) But we have to be strong now, okay?**

**GOHAN: (telepathically) Daddy... (reaches out to Goku's hand)**

**GOKU: (telepathically) Son... (gets kneed in the stomach by Vegeta)**

Everyone got surprised.

**(eyecatch animation from DragonBall Z plays)**

"That knee scared me!" Pyrrha said.

"Me too!" Ruby said and laughed.

**(Goku is seen spitting out blood as Gohan screams in horror)**

**VEGETA: What now, Kakarot? (stomps on Goku's stomach) You damaged me! (begins kicking Goku repeatedly) You cut off my tail! You've insulted me beyond belief. But you still haven't taken my pride! (gets kicked by Gohan) Ow, my pride!**

Everyone laughed.

"Ow, my pride!" Yang repeated.

**(Gohan and Vegeta begin exchanging blows in midair)**

**GOHAN: I'll teach you to hurt my daddy!**

**VEGETA: What are you going to do, huh?! You barely have any energy left! (Gohan elbows Vegeta in the eye) UAGH! (thinking while holding his right eye) Gah! My eye! Why is it always the god damn eye?!**

This got a few laughs.

**GOKU: K-Krillin, come here. I have something to give you. (Krillin limps over to Goku)**

**KRILLIN: Your last will and testament?**

"He already gave up." Blake said.

**GOKU: No, it's energy from the entire world. It's our last hope.**

"And he's giving it to him?" Yang said.

**KRILLIN: And you're giving it to me?**

**GOKU: I'm kinda out of options... (passes the remaining of the Spirit Bomb over to Krillin)**

**KRILLIN: Holy crap! So this is what being important feels like!**

This got a few laughs.

"He finally feels important."

**(Vegeta is seen gaining the upper hand against Gohan, launching him onto the ground)**

**VEGETA: (while walking towards Gohan) Alright, Kakarot. Say goodbye to your son! (begins running towards Gohan)**

**KRILLIN: (thinking) Wow! Such power, from every living being on the planet. I can feel it all surging inside of me. Every man, woman, and child. This is Planet Earth's very essence! (out loud) BOO-YAH, MOTHERF**KER! (throws Spirit Bomb at Vegeta)**

Everyone laughed.

"Tell me that you wouldn't say that if you were in his place." Nova said.

"I would!" Yang said.

**VEGETA: (stops running and notices the Spirit Bomb) Wh-what the hell is-?**

**KRILLIN: ENJOY YOUR STAY IN HELL! (Vegeta dodges the Spirit Bomb by jumping) Gyaaaah! God dammit! (continues pouting in background)**

"That was so close!" Ruby said.

"Wait, the Spirit Bomb is going at Gohan now!" Weiss said.

**(Spirit Bomb is seen flying at Gohan)**

**GOKU: (telepathically) Gohan, listen, you have to bounce it back at Vegeta.**

**GOHAN: (telepathically) But, are you sure? I don't think energy works like that.**

**GOKU: (telepathically) Don't worry, Gohan, you can do it. You're a good guy.**

"Is that how it works?" Blake said.

"The Spirit Bomb hurts only bad people." Nova said.

**GOHAN: (telepathically) Oh, okay, if you believe in me then I'll-**

**GOKU: (telepathically) Or it'll kill you.**

**GOHAN: (telepathically) What?! (puts his hands out, making a spring sound effect from Sonic the Hedgehog, bouncing the Spirit Bomb back at Vegeta)**

**VEGETA: There's nothing left now- your last hope and you missed. You're all defeated and there isn't a damn thing you can- (thinking) What smells like deer? (notices the Spirit Bomb but gets hit at point-blank) WAAAAAH! (gets blasted into the sky with the Spirit Bomb) CURSE MY HUBRIS!**

This got a few laughs.

"What smells like deer? I can't believe he said that." Weiss said.

**KRILLIN: (jumps into the sky) Yahoo! (rushes towards Goku) Goku, we did it! We won! We beat him with the Spirit Bomb!**

**GOKU: (telepathically) Way to go, you guys. (Gohan starts laughing)**

**KRILLIN: All right, Goku. Let's get you and Gohan home. It's been tough, but now, we'll never have to see that rotten Saiyan ever again. (Vegeta lands next to Goku and Krillin) Alive again. We'll never have to see him alive again, that's what I meant.**

This got a few laughs.

"Then he wakes up screaming." Yang said.

**KRILLIN: (approaches Vegeta's motionless body) But at least it's finally over.**

**YAJIROBE: You gonna eat that Saiyan?**

**KRILLIN: Wha-**

**YAJIROBE: Dibs!**

"Eat him?!" Weiss said.

"Well, he's not a human, so it kinda doesn't count as cannibalism." Nova said.

"Do you know what you just said?!" Blake said.

"Yeah...know I know what you mean. Sorry."

"For a god you say some unbelievable things." Weiss said.

**KRILLIN: Rrright. Anyway, it seems the Spirit Bomb's done the trick. And with that, we can all go home and live in peace and-**

**VEGETA: (wakes up) HUAAAAAAAH!**

**KRILLIN: WAAAAAAHH!**

**GOHAN: AAAAAAAHH!**

**YAJIROBE: UAAAAAHHH!**

"Called it." Yang said.

**KRILLIN: WAAAAAHH!**

**VEGETA: AAAAAAH!**

**GOHAN: AAAAAAAH!**

**YAJIROBE: UAAAAHHH!**

**(everyone continues yelling in the background)**

**GOKU: What's going on, guys? We won, right? **

"I'm wondering how will it end." Jaune said.

"Next episode!" Ruby said.

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(scene opens up with Vegeta recovering from the Spirit Bomb)**

**VEGETA: You know, at a time like this I really only have one thing to say to you... BITCH SLAP!**

**KRILLIN: OH SNAP!**

**(Vegeta slaps Krillin, knocking him down and whining in pain)**

**(Krillin Owned Count: 10)**

Everyone laughed.

"The owned count went already up by 6." Blake said.

**VEGETA: (walks up to the remaining Z-Fighters) And as for the rest of you... I'm going to end this, with a Big Bang... kind of attack.**

**(Vegeta begins gathering up energy)**

**GOKU: Oh, this isn't going to end well... (closes his eyes)**

**(Vegeta screams and unleashes an explosive attack, causing Krillin, Goku and Gohan, who gets knocked away, to scream)**

"Are they dead?" Ruby said.

**VEGETA: (breathes heavily and notices that everyone's still alive) Oh, you have got to be kidding me! They're still alive?! Oh to hell with it... (begins floating and lands next to Gohan, with an arrow pointing to his tail)**

"Wait, is that Gogan's tail?" Pyrrha said.

"It grew back! Now he will transform into an great ape too?" Ruby said.

**VEGETA: (thinking) I may not have enough energy to kill you all at once, (begins walking towards Gohan) but I can still kill all of you without any troub-**

**(Yajirobe comes out of nowhere and slashes Vegeta's armor with his katana)**

"He's still alive?" Weiss said.

"Yeah, he doesn't look that strong." Yang said.

"I'm curious how he's able to do damage. Normally, it wouldn't do anything to someone like Vegeta." Ren said.

"The sword would probably shatter." Jaune said.

**VEGETA: You... You cut through my armor! This was a gift from my father!**

**YAJIROBE: I'm sorry, I'm sure your father was a great man!**

**VEGETA: I hated my father!**

"Then why be mad?" Yang said.

**YAJIROBE: Well then, I'm sure your father was a total prick.**

**VEGETA: (punches Yajirobe in the face) How dare you talk about my father like that!**

**(Yajirobe gets sent flying into a pile of rocks)**

Everyone laughed.

"What a weird relationship. He said he hates his father but he doesn't want anyone to insult him." Ruby said.

**VEGETA: (while beating up Yajirobe) Finally, I can just sit back and enjoy myself. No cares in the world! (Gohan is seen staring at Vegeta's artificial moon) I can beat these worthless cretins all day long and I- (stops attacking Yajirobe) I think I'm forgetting something...**

**(Gohan begins his transformation into an Ōzaru)**

"Yeah, now Vegeta is screwed!" Nora said.

"But isn't that form uncontrollable? He can't control it." Jaune said.

"Well, they're all screwed." Yang said.

**VEGETA: Oh dammit, the kid- that's right! (in his thoughts) Oh wait, I'll just become the mighty Ōzaru and... Wait, I don't have my tail! (out loud to Yajirobe) This fat bastard cut it off!**

**YAJIROBE: Haha- (gets hit) Ungh!**

Everyone laughed.

**VEGETA: (begins attacking Gohan to stop his transformation) No, no, stop it! Stop it, damn you! Why?! Why won't you people just diiie?! (Gohan fully transforms into an Ōzaru)**

"Because you deserve it you...you...poopyhead! What?" Ruby said. Nova started laughing.

"That's the best you could think of?" Yang said.

"I'm not good at insults!"

**KRILLIN: (noticing Gohan as an Ōzaru) Yay! Gohan's transformed! He's gonna save us all!**

**(Ōzaru Gohan roars and smashes rocks)**

**KRILLIN: (covering his head) Oh no! Gohan's transformed! He's gonna kill us all!**

This got a few laughs.

**(Ōzaru Gohan roars and grabs a huge rock)**

**GOKU: (telepathically) Gohan? This is Daddy... I know you're angry right now, but you have to focus your anger. Re-Remember Icarus?**

**(shows a flashback of Icarus getting blasted. Ōzaru Gohan is angry)**

"Aww, his dragon died. That's horrible." Pyrrha said.

**GOKU: (to Vegeta) He did it!**

**(Ōzaru Gohan roars in anger)**

"Smart." Yang said and laughed.

**VEGETA: Oh, that's bulls***! (dodges Ōzaru Gohan's attack) I haven't killed a damn thing since I got to this godforsaken planet! (Looks at camera) Not for a lack of trying, mind you.**

"He killed a Saibamen and Nappa." Jaune said.

**(Ōzaru Gohan continues to attack Vegeta)**

**VEGETA: (to Yajirobe) Hey fatass, wanna take off this one's tail too?**

**(cuts to Yajirobe groaning in pain)**

This got a few laughs.

**VEGETA: FINE! I'll DO IT MYSELF, THEN! (fires a Destructo Disk at Gohan's tail, cutting it off) Haha! I did it! I'm the best, around! (Ōzaru Gohan begins shrinking in front of Vegeta) No one's ever going to keep me down...**

"He's singing?" Blake said.

**VEGETA: (notices Ōzaru Gohan falling right above him) No... (Ōzaru Gohan falls on top of him) NOOOOO!**

**(Vegeta gets crushes by Ōzaru Gohan, cuts to Vegeta badly injured with Gohan, naked and unconscious, lying on top of him)**

Everyone laughed.

"For some reason, this image is very funny!" Yang said while laughing.

**VEGETA: (thinking) Crushed and broken beneath an unconscious naked child... (takes out a small remote control device to call his space pod) Yep, I think I'm done here...**

"Vegeta has been humiliated a lot." Ruby said.

**(cuts to the ruins of East City where a number of radiation-suited investigators are gathered around Vegeta and Nappa's space pods)**

**KIRK: So Mr. Spock, what do you make, of this... ship?**

**SPOCK: Well sir, I would have to find it highly illogical to refer to this as a "ship"; the spherical design incorporates no propulsion system. It looks more like an orbiting vessel, or a satell- (Vegeta's space pod becomes active and flies away) Aaah!**

**KIRK: Suck it, Spock!**

**(cuts back to the battlefield with Vegeta's space pod landing in front of him)**

**VEGETA: (thinking while flipping himself over) Alright, I'm just gonna get in my ship... (starts crawling to his pod) I'm gonna fly back to Frieza Station... And I'm gonna sleep this off like a baaad hangover...**

**KRILLIN: (appears next to Vegeta holding Yajirobe's katana) You're not going anywhere!**

"His time to shine is now! He has the killing shot!" Nora said.

**KRILLIN: You think you can kill all of our friends and threaten our lives and just leave?**

**VEGETA: Would you be surprised if I said "yes"?**

**KRILLIN: I'm going to end this, and YOU, RIGHT NOW! NOW DIE!**

**(Krillin prepares to kill Vegeta with Yajirobe's katana, but stops short)**

**GOKU: Krillin, wait! **

"Wait, what is he thinking?" Blake said.

**GOKU: Vegeta, are you sorry?**

**VEGETA: Wh-What?**

"Yeah, what?" Yang said.

"He's gonna let him leave." Blake said.

"Are you serious?! Why?!" Weiss said.

"In the original, he wanted to fight him again." Nova said.

**GOKU: If you say you're sorry Vegeta, then you can leave.**

**VEGETA: You can't be serious...**

"But he killed his friends!" Pyrrha said.

**KRILLIN: What are you talking about Goku? He killed all of our friends!**

**GOKU: But Krillin, if he's sorry—truly sorry—then there's nothing we can do.**

"This can't be happening right now." Weiss said.

**VEGETA: I'm sorry. Yep, totally sorry. I just feel terrible.**

**GOKU: Let him go, Krillin.**

"And of course he fell for it." Blake said.

**KRILLIN: But-But Goku...**

**VEGETA: (now inside his space pod) Yes, I am very, very, very sorry... (space pod closes) That you're all still alive! (blasts off into space) SUCKERS! (starts laughing from inside his pod) Ah, it hurts to laugh!**

**NARRATOR: And so our heroes looked towards the sky, their battle finally over and victory on their side. Many lives were lost, many lessons were learned, and I made out with a cool one hundred thou!**

**(cuts to King Kai's planet)**

**KING KAI: You cheating son of a-**

**NARRATOR: Can't hear you, don't care! **

Everyone laughed.

"A hundred thousand Zeni? How much Lien is that?" Yang said.

**NARRATOR: Now where was I... (cuts back to Earth) how will our heroes bring back their fallen compatriots? What new dangers will present themselves? Has anyone really not seen this show already? Find out in the next season of DragonBall Z Abridged!**

**(scene cuts to Vegeta's space pod flying through outer space)**

**VEGETA: (thinking) They've broken my body... I failed in my mission to find the Dragon Balls... I even lost my tail... but at least... it can't get any worse from here...**

"And it gets worse."

**?: Vegeta... Vegeeeeetaaaaa...**

"No." Ruby said.

"No way." Jaune said.

"But he's dead!" Weiss said.

**VEGETA: Wh-What?**

**NAPPA: (appears as a ghost) I'm haunting you.**

**(Vegeta's space pod is seen flying off into the distance)**

**VEGETA: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

Everyone laughed.

"Yes! He's back!" Nora said.

**(credits roll with Ghost Nappa's theme song, a parody of the Ghostbusters theme song, playing in the background)**

**Vegegeta-geta gegegegegeta **

**Vegegeta-geta GHOST NAPPA! Yeeeah! **

"They made a song?" Blake said.

**If there's something strange, in your neighborhood. **

**Guess who it is? **(Nova:) **GHOST NAPPA! **

**Is it something weird? And it don't look good. **

**Guess who it is? GHOST NAPPA! **

**Yo, Vegeta-geta-geta-geta-getageta **

**Geta-geta-geta-you know you love me as a ghost-geta **

**Geta-geta-geta-geta-getageta **

**Geta-geta-geta-geta-WHOOOOO! **

"I love that song." Nova said.

"The best season finale! Loved it!" Nora said.

"It was very funny." Ruby said.

"Can't wait to see the second season." Yang said.

"Well, there's one more movie to watch." Nova said.

"Really? Show it!" Ruby said.

**And done! Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	43. DBZA The world's strongest

**Hey everyone. This the last part of the marathon. The next chapter will be a Christmas special (in October?). I don't know when I'll post it though, so expect one or two weeks later. Also I saw a guest review that said that my story is boring and unoriginal. I know that it's boring and unoriginal! I'm still waiting the time when Nova will fucking destroy all RWBY villains. And I have original ideas! Just not the music. A lot of OCs will die. Until then, just wait.**

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 42:**** DBZ Abridged The world's strongest**

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(cut over to the icy mountains with a gigantic pillar of light being shown, which causes snow to tumble down as it reveals that the blast came from Piccolo)**

"What is Piccolo doing?" Jaune said.

**PICCOLO: (shivering due to being out in the cold) G-good. Progress on my...ice castle is underway.**

"He's building an ice castle now?" Blake said.

"Why is he blue?" Nora said.

"He's probably freezing." Ren said.

"And his cloak probably doesn't keep him warm." Weiss said.

**PICCOLO: I'll have to...install central heating. Body is n-ninety percent water... And this CLOAK DOES NOTHING!**

**OOLONG: Well, maybe you should have have packed more.**

This got a few laughs.

"Who said that?" Ruby said.

**(cut over to Oolong and Gohan somewhere else in the icy mountains)**

**GOHAN: Y-you never said we were going to the Tsurumai-Tsuburi Mountains... Literally the coldest place on Earth... You just told me, "Hey, Gohan! I stole-"**

**OOLONG: "Found."**

**GOHAN: "-found the Dragon Radar. Wanna go make a wish?"**

**OOLONG: How about a little less whining and a little more climbing? They just found the sixth ball! (shows six DragonBalls beeping on the radar)**

"They would steal someone's wish, that's so unfair!"

**GOHAN: It kind of seems wrong that we're planning on stealing a wish... Which reminds me. What are you planning to wish for?**

"What would a pig wish for?" Nora said.

"Probably to not eat it." Yang said.

**OOLONG: (envisions himself leading a Communist-like pig group) Justice.**

While shocking, this got a few laughs.

"No more bacon." Nova said.

**GOHAN: What?**

**OOLONG: Panties. Gonna wish for panties.**

"Nice save." Yang said.

**GOHAN: Oh, Oolong, you're incorrigible!**

**OOLONG: Yeah, yeah, just get the lead out before they find the seventh- (the Dragon Radar alerts him that the seventh ball has been collected) Oh, oink me in the alps.**

**(shows all seven DragonBalls on the snow and glowing)**

**KOCHIN: Rise, Eternal Dragon! Did I do it right? I hope I did it right. (there is a burst of energy and all seven DrgonBalls fall off of the cliff) Aw, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh shit! Is that bad? Can they break?!**

"They don't seem like they can break." Weiss said.

"But he lost his wish." Ruby said.

**(there's another burst of energy and Shenron appears)**

That surprised everyone.

"Or not."

**SHENRON: *sighs* Okay, what do you assholes want this ti- (sees Kochin) Oh. OH! Hmm... I am the Eternal Dragon. State your wish and I shall grant it.**

Everyone laughed.

"Finally, not Goku's friends." Blake said.

**KOCHIN: I have scoured the planet for you for the last fifty years. With you lies my only hope... Eternal Dragon, I beseech you, with your bountiful, mystic power... Could you please melt the ice off my front door?**

"What?" everyone said.

**SHENRON: E-excuse me?**

"He said melt the ice, right?" Yang said.

"He said it." Blake said.

"Well that's a waste of a wish. So much hype for nothing."

"He could wish to control fire. Or he could bring a flamethrower with him." Pyrrha said.

**KOCHIN: Look, I left to get groceries fifty years ago. Bit of a trek to civilization. Came back, the entire lair was iced over. Went back, got some salt. Pretty evidential real quick that that wasn't going to work. Tried fire, melted it. That just made more ice-try and figure that out. Then I tried, uh... I'm sorry, is this a little unorthodox?**

"A lot." Weiss said.

**SHENRON: Just a little, yes.**

**KOCHIN: I'm sorry, I'm not really used to the whole 'magical dragon' thing. I'm an engineer by trade.**

**SHENRON: Hey, look, it's fine. But, how 'bout-just throwing it out there-I give YOU the power to melt the ice!**

"Exactly." Pyrrha said.

**KOCHIN: But that's what I have YOU for...**

**SHENRON: Yes, I know, but I'm trying to-**

**KOCHIN: Don't you go pawning this off on me!**

"You pawned this off to him!" Weiss said.

**SHENRON: I'm not, but if it happens AGAIN, then... You know, fine. Whatever. (eyes glow red and then proceeds to melt the ice)**

**KOCHIN: Oh, wow! That was fast!**

**SHENRON: Yeah, well, I just put a massive hole in your ozone layer. What, took you fifty years to find me? Good luck figuring out how long it takes THAT to fix! Shenron, out.**

Everyone laughed.

"And that's how global warming was created." Nova said.

**(Shenron disappears and the seven DragonBalls fly up in the sky and scatters)**

**OOLONG: No! My Schwein-Staffel!**

"His what?" Jaune said.

"Pig army. It's German." Nova said.

"Man, German is one funny language." Yang said.

"Said miss ching chang chong.". Everyone laughed. "Exactly! That's what your language sounds like! Bazinga."

"Shut up."

**KOCHIN: Finally! Now, to reunite with my master, and... Oh, crap. Did I leave my keys at Slump's?**

"Now he has to go back." Ruby said.

**(shows a silhouetted figure of Goku preparing to use the Spirit Bomb by lifting both hands in the sky as it shows a brain in the background as well as the text that reads 'The World's Strongest')**

**(cut to Gohan and Oolong investigating the newly-uncovered lab)**

**OOLONG: All right, what the hell is this and why did my wish get wasted on it?**

"That's an evil lair!" Ruby said.

**GOHAN: It looks like an...evil lair!**

**OOLONG: Oh, no... Nope, uh-uh, no way! I know how this goes! (leaps off Gohan and tries to run off) You can't make me- (gets stopped in his tracks by a blue warrior) Damn it all!**

"Are those Saibamen?" Yang said.

"They look different." Blake said.

**GOHAN: Don't worry, Oolong! I'll save you-**

**(three more blue warriors appear and proceed to ambush Gohan)**

**OOLONG: Get 'em, Gohan!**

**(Gohan continues to be beaten up until Piccolo grabs one of the blue warrior's hands)**

"*gasp* It's mr Piccolo!" Ruby said.

**PICCOLO: (is blue-skinned from head to toe) Hey, Gohan. C-c-c-cold enough for ya?**

**GOHAN: Mr...Piccolo?**

**PICCOLO: Did we miss some Saibamen?**

**BIOMAN: We are Biomen.**

**PICCOLO: I feel like we missed some Saibamen.**

**GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo...**

**PICCOLO: J-just watch out for the explodey ones. Don't wanna pull a-**

**YAMCHA: Hey, guys! I was in the middle of training, and I saw what went down- (a Bioman grabs him and starts glowing) WHY?! (Bioman explodes off-screen)**

Everyone laughed.

"Not Yamcha again!" Jaune said while laughing.

"It's always Yamcha!" Nova said while laughing.

"Wait, wasn't he dead?" Blake said.

"The movies are a what if scenario."

**PICCOLO: That. Don't wanna pull a that. (shows Yamcha on the ground groaning in pain...and defeat) So...wanna help me build my ice castl- (begins to scream as he's blasted from underground)**

**GOHAN: Mr... (Piccolo continues screaming) Piccolo... (passes out as he and Oolong fall through the ice) (later regains consciousness inside a cave) Mr. Piccolo? Oolong! I think Mr. Piccolo's in trouble!**

**OOLONG: Oh, no. I'm fine, Gohan. Thanks for asking.**

**GOHAN: Yeah, well, sorry, but he was screaming pretty loud, and-**

**OOLONG: When's the last time you saw a fight where someone didn't scream? **

"Yeah, now I noticed it, they all scream when they fight." Jaune said.

"Screaming makes it intense." Nora said.

**OOLONG: Now. We are going to go home, and you are not going to tell your mother about this little outing.**

**GOHAN: But I-**

**OOLONG: DO NOT TELL YOUR MOTHER ABOUT THIS!**

**GOHAN: Okay! Fine. Why do I feel like I'm going to hear that for the rest of my life?**

**OOLONG: Because you are.**

**(cut to Goku's house)**

**CHI-CHI: You're seriously not going to talk to him?**

**GOKU: Why? He came back safe and sound.**

**(inside, Goku is doing push-ups with his thumb and Chi-Chi is cooking)**

**CHI-CHI: He was gone for three days, and refuses to tell us where he went or what he did.**

**GOKU: Oh, come on, Chi-Chi. I lived in the woods for eight years all by myself.**

**CHI-CHI: That's why you're not his role model.**

**GOKU: 'Course not. Piccolo is.**

This got a few laughs.

"I think Piccolo is a better father figure than Goku." Pyrrha said.

"He got traumatized by the word dodge and his training was very harsh." Weiss said.

"But he cares about Gohan." Ruby said.

**(shift to inside Gohan's room, who's doing his homework)**

**CHI-CHI: And THAT is a conversation we desperately need to have.**

**GOHAN: (sighs and sits back on his chair and remembers seeing Piccolo back at the Tsurumai-Tsuburi Mountains along with an explosion with Yamcha screaming) I sure hope Mr. Piccolo's doing alright.**

Everyone laughed.

**(shifts to a wierd dream with Gohan walking on a planet with Piccolo on the peak of a mountain)**

"Aww, they're so cute!"

"And that song is very happy." Pyrrha said.

**PICCOLO: Gohan! Gohan! I'm trying to reach you telepathically! (shows Gohan flying with two animals and a book with Chi-Chi creeping in the background) God, Gohan, they've captured me! (shows a brief shot of Piccolo and then shifts back to Gohan walking on a red planet behind Piccolo, who's also walking) Gohan! They're torturing me! They're forcing things into my brain, Gohan! Gohan! My veins! (shows Gohan alone in a sunset area) GOHAN!**

**CHI-CHI: Gohan!**

**PICCOLO: MY VEINS!**

Everyone was shocked by the dream. Then they started laughing.

"My veins!" Yang repeated.

"What was happening?" Blake said.

**CHI-CHI: Gohan! (back to reality where Gohan wakes up) Gohan, what is going on with you?**

**GOHAN: I... I was dreaming.**

**CHI-CHI: Well, have you finished your homework?**

**GOHAN: Oh, Mom! I'm never finished.**

**CHI-CHI: That is the correct answer. **

"Wow, she's very strict." Ruby said.

"He's only four and she's making him study like a high school student. If I was n his place, I would go and live with Piccolo." Yang said.

**CHI-CHI: (begins to leave the room but stops) Gohan, you're not on drugs, right?**

**GOHAN: It was just the one apple, Mom.**

"I get it! The first movie!" Nora said.

**(cut over at Kame House)**

**OOLONG: This is some old bullshit! Just because I stole the Dragon Radar means I have to do all the prep work? Where does he even grow this stuff, anyway? He doesn't have a basement... (shrieks as Bulma appears beside him)**

**BULMA: Best not to ask too many questions. Also, have you checked the oven?**

**OOLONG: Oh, hell.. (opens the oven, which emits black smoke causing him to cough repeatedly before opening his eyes, which is now red) Great, now my entire evening is gonna be spent trying to find something to watch on Netflix!**

"What is he cooking?" Weiss said.

"From the red eyes, it looks like he's preparing drugs." Blake said.

**MASTER ROSHI: (from upstairs) Those better not be my brownies, pig! (coughs and someone knocks on the front door) Oh, geez. Turtle, can you get that? I can not find my feet...**

This got a few laughs.

"Yep. Definitely drugs." Yang said.

"Mmm, weed brownies." Nova said and everyone stared at him. "What? I'm a god, I can do whatever I want."

**(Turtle goes outside to see who it is)**

**TURTLE: What up? You got the money?**

This got a few laughs.

**(shows the face of a Bioman)**

**BIOMAN: We want the Roshi!**

"Oh no, the blue Saibamen!" Ruby said.

**TURTLE: And WE want the money.**

**BIOMAN: Bring us the Roshi, or be destroyed!**

**TURTLE: How about you get the hell off our island?**

**BIOMAN: There are six of Biomen and one of Turtle!**

**TURTLE: I am nine hundred and ninety-nine years old. I don't give a f**k!**

Everyone laughed.

"Wow, almost a thousand years!" Ruby said.

**(Master Roshi comes out the door coughing)**

**MASTER ROSHI: Are you the buyer? 'Cause there's gonna be a bit of a delay. (coughs a few more times) Turns out pigs can't cook brownies.**

"When you hear something like that, it sounds very weird." Yang said.

**BIOMAN: You have been forcefully in-vited to the laboratory of Dr. Wheelo!**

**MASTER ROSHI: I only need one doctor, and that's "Feelgood". Also, my GP to check my prostate every few years; it's important at my age.**

**BULMA: (walks out the front door) Roshi, what the heck is going on- (sees the Biomen) Wait, are those Saibamen?**

**BIOMAN: We are Biomen. And if you do not comply, we will make you!**

**MASTER ROSHI: Ooooh, it is a bad time for this...**

**BIOMAN: Prepare for combat!**

**(the Biomen attack and are easily defeated by Master Roshi, with one of them landing next to Turtle)**

"He knows martial arts too." Weiss said.

"He trained Goku and Krillin." Nova said.

"The master himself." Ruby said.

**MASTER ROSHI: I do not hold back when I'm toasted.**

**KOCHIN: (starts clapping) Excellent. Exactly to be expected from the world's strongest fighter.**

"That guy again." Jaune said.

"He must be the villain's right hand." Blake said.

**MASTER ROSHI: Eh, I'm not one to brag. *sniffs***

**KOCHIN: Dr. Wheelo will be humbled to have you as his honored guest. Whether you like it or not.**

**MASTER ROSHI: (referring to the Biomen he has defeated) Are the bodies not a clear indicator of how this is gonna go down?**

**KOCHIN: Well, you see, strength is only relative when a little leverage is applied. (points to the front porch to reveal two Saiba-I mean Biomen holding Bulma by both arms, who starts panicking) Now, comply, lest I have my Saiba-**

**BIOMAN: We are BIOMEN!**

"Even him!" Yang said.

**KOCHIN: Yes, whatever! Nobody cares! My creations rip her limb from limb.**

**MASTER ROSHI: Damn it. And those are some fine-ass limbs, too. All right, I'll go. Turtle, you're in charge!**

**TURTLE: All right, but if the buyer shows up, I'm taking ten percent.**

**MASTER ROSHI: Triflin'-ass turtle.**

This got a few laughs.

**(cut to Oolong at Goku's house speaking to Goku who bathing in a barrel)**

**OOLONG: Old man Roshi might have been kidnapped.**

**GOKU: Oh, don't sweat it. Roshi can handle that.**

**OOLONG: Yeah... They might have also been strong enough to take Piccolo, too. Uh, they said they were looking for the world's strongest fighter.**

**GOKU: But I'm... Why didn't they...?**

"He took this personally?" Weiss said.

"Wow, Goku is selfish. He wants to be the strongest." Yang said.

**GOKU: (cut to him fully dressed on the Flying Nimbus speaking to Chi-Chi and Gohan) There's been a terrible mistake, I gotta fix this! (takes off)**

"Oh, he goes to prove that he's the strongest! What an asshole!" Blake said.

**(cut to inside a laboratory with Master Roshi being shown on a monitor)**

**KOCHIN: There he is... Your new body!**

"New body?" Jaune said.

"Dr. Wheelo's brain was removed and was put into an exoskeleton to be kept alive. He wants a new body." Nova said.

"That's original." Ruby said.

**DR. WHEELO: Why is he old?**

**KOCHIN: He's the world's strongest man!**

**DR. WHEELO: And the world's oldest. (monitor shows Bulma sitting on a chair alongside Master Roshi) Again, Kochin, why not just give me the woman?**

**KOCHIN: I told you, you can't have a WOMAN'S body! They're not nearly strong enough!**

"Screw you!" Yang said.

**DR. WHEELO: Sexism aside... I'm really not that picky.**

**KOCHIN: Also, she doesn't have a penis.**

"And he will give him the old man?" Blake said.

**DR. WHEELO: ...So you want to give me the old man?**

**KOCHIN: Yes.**

**DR. WHEELO: With the old man's penis?**

This got a few laughs.

**KOCHIN: Listen, you just need a demonstration.**

**DR. WHEELO: Oh, please no.**

**(shift over to Bulma, who screams as she gets pulled down into the darkness)**

**MASTER ROSHI: Oh, come on! This ain't your first kidnappin'!**

"Damsel in distress." Yang said.

**(the lights come on)**

**KOCHIN: Feast your eyes on our Bio-Warriors!**

"They look so cool!" Ruby said.

**DR. WHEELO: Kochin... (monitor changes to show the Bio-Warriors as innocent creatures) What did you do to my creations?! Zap-Zap, Blub-Blub, Burr?!**

"Aww, that's cute." Pyrrha said.

**KOCHIN: I made a few alterations this morning. Introducing Electrocutioner! Bouncy Butcher! And Freezer!**

**FREEZER: Bah!**

This got a few laughs.

**KOCHIN: Fighting someone on the trademark for that last name, though.**

**DR. WHEELO: They're terrifying!**

**KOCHIN: Terrifyingly effective!**

"Wait, isn't Dr Wheelo a bad guy?" Weiss said.

"In the original yes. Here he just wants a body." Nova said.

**DR. WHEELO: They were supposed to be cute and cuddly and aid the elderly!**

**KOCHIN: Now they're cruel and vicious and fight the elderly! Speaking of which, commence the demonstration!**

This got a few laughs.

"Fight the elderly. That's evil." Nora said.

**MASTER ROSHI: Oh man, and I'm comin' down... (begins to fight the Bio-Warriors)**

**BULMA: Beat their asses!**

**DR. WHEELO: Woah, where'd she come from? (shows Bulma with shackles on both her hands and feet) And why is she chained up?**

"So she won't escape, obviously." Weiss said.

"Or they're into that." Nova said.

"Always in the sexual."

"Someone has to say it."

**MASTER ROSHI: Ka... Me.. Ha... Me... HAAA!**

**(Master Roshi fires the blast at Bouncy Butcher, who absorbs the blast and deflects it back at him. Master Roshi nearly dodges his own blast and gets punched by Freezer. Electrocutioner proceeds to shock Master Roshi with electric whips, who falls down to the ground, sizzling in defeat)**

"Well, that was lame." Nora said.

**KOCHIN: Fiddlesticks. I could have sworn he was the strongest fighter in the world.**

**BULMA: Oh, right. The three hundred year-old man.**

**DR. WHEELO: Seriously, why is she chained up?**

**BULMA: Roshi's not even in the top five anymore. As in, I've got at least five friends, all stronger than he is!**

**KOCHIN: Is that so?**

**DR. WHEELO: Oh, do not indulge him.**

**BULMA: Okay, who else keeps talking?**

**(Dr. Wheelo reveals himself, who is a brain embedded in a wall)**

**DR. WHEELO: Hello.**

"His brain is huge!" Ruby said.

"Wait, they were going to move his giant brain? How it would fit?!" Weiss said.

**BULMA: Um... Hi?**

**DR. WHEELO: My name is Dr. Wheelo. Good to meet you.**

**BULMA: Wait, Dr. Jonathan Wheelo? The famous biologist and cancer researcher? Your breakthroughs changed the entire landscape of the field!**

**DR. WHEELO: Oh, thank you. Thank you. Can I have your body?**

**BULMA: What? No!**

"Rephrase!"

**DR. WHEELO: Oh, I'm so sorry, not sexually. I-I mean your actual, physical body. To put my brain in.**

**BULMA: Still NO!**

**DR. WHEELO: Oh, come on, it's been fifty years! I suddenly got sick one day-lung cancer, ironically-and that one decides to put me in stasis. (Kochin frowns and glares at Dr. Wheelo) Next thing I know, he's gone to get groceries for fifty years. Which is just my father all over again.**

"No! That was a terrible joke!" Pyrrha said.

"He went for a pack of cigarettes." Yang said.

**BULMA: Okay, well, I'm sorry and all, but there's no way I'd agree to that. Not that you'd fit, anyway.**

**DR. WHEELO: Whhyyyy?**

"He doesn't know how big his brain is?" Blake said.

**KOCHIN: Oh, your gray matter seems to have absorbed a little bit of the embalming fluid that you're stored in!**

**DR. WHEELO: What?! How big am I?!**

**BULMA: I'd say...a golden retriever.**

"Oh, I love golden retrievers! They're wonderful dogs!" Weiss said.

**DR. WHEELO: But a golden retriever's brain is small!**

**BULMA: No, like, the size of a golden retriever.**

**DR. WHEELO: Kochin, what the hell, man?!**

**KOCHIN: Oh, calm down, sir...**

**DR. WHEELO: I can't fit in a body like THIS!**

**KOCHIN: Don't worry about it. Sometimes brain surgery is a little more 'art' than science.**

"I think he's talking about baking." Pyrrha said.

**DR. WHEELO: You're thinking of baking!**

**KOCHIN: I might be thinking of baking...**

This got a few laughs.

**BULMA: Well, Pinky. You picked the wrong guy, anyway. You want Son Goku.**

**DR. WHEELO: Can I fit in him?**

**BULMA: To be fair, there's probably a vacancy. But you have to get him here first. And good luck kidnapping-**

**(a warning alarm goes off)**

**DR. WHEELO: What is that?**

"He's already here." Blake said.

**(Goku is shown on the screen)**

**GOKU: Hello. My name is Son Goku. Is anyone home?**

**KOCHIN: Oh, and the stars align.**

**GOKU: Someone made a mistake! If you're looking for the world's strongest fighter, I'm here!**

**KOCHIN: Yes, yes! Son Goku! Please, if you would, join us!**

**GOKU: A'ight! (jumps off the Flying Nimbus and lands near the front entrance) Sure hope it's warmer inside... (shifts to him running inside shivering his tits off) It's actually colder! How is it colder?! **

This got a few laughs.

**GOKU: (enters a room filled with a bunch of giant, floating balls) Oh, cool! He's got a ball pit! (spikes emerges from all the floating balls) Oh, no, he's got a ball pit.. (jumps to avoid getting hit by an incoming ball)**

**DR. WHEELO: Kochin?**

**KOCHIN: Yes?**

**DR. WHEELO: WHAT?!**

**KOCHIN: Oh, the Death Spheres! Quite ingenious, no?**

**DR. WHEELO: No! Why do we have them?!**

**KOCHIN: Well, if the Red Ribbon Army hadn't suddenly up and disappeared, they'd have made us a mint. (Goku destroys all of the Death Spheres with multiple blasts) Annd there goes fifty billion Zeni.**

"That must be a lot of money." Yang said.

**DR. WHEELO: HOW MUCH?!**

**GOKU: That was easily the second-worst ball pit I've ever been in. (Bouncy Butcher comes out of nowhere and punches him in the face, who rebounds and tries to kick him, but gets enveloped in Bouncy Butcher's squishy body) Oh, no. Oh, God. Ew, ew, ew, it's moist. Why is it moist? (gets away) **

"That was gross." Blake said.

**GOKU: Okay, get it together. Just gotta go in there...and do it. Just like with Chi-Chi. (Bouncy Butcher starts inflating) Just like with Chi Chi...**

"What?!" Weiss said.

**GOKU: (charges at Bouncy Butcher again, pulling his torso with him as he goes higher) Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, EWWWW! (uses Kaio-ken to rip a hole through Bouncy Butcher's torso and flies up to the next floor as Bouncy Butcher is shown deflating like a balloon)**

This got a few laughs.

**KOCHIN: Good, good! He's already dispatched of one of the Bio-Warriors!**

**DR. WHEELO: Blub-Blub... He was made for hugs...**

**KOCHIN: And combat!**

**DR. WHEELO: No...**

"Awww..." Pyrrha said.

**GOKU: I swear, I'ma deck the heck out of the next guy I see!**

**FREEZER: (appears in front of Goku) Bah! (Goku decks him in the schnoz) AH! (muffled) OW! F**k! Shit!**

Everyone laughed.

"So they can talk." Blake said.

**GOKU: Oh! Oh, gosh, I'm sorry!**

**FREEZER: What the f**k, man?!**

**GOKU: D-do you need some ice?**

Yang burst out laughing.

"Nice." she said.

**FREEZER: Oh, you think you're funny?! Zapps, get in here. I-I need a sec.**

**ELECTROCUTIONER: I'm the Electrocutioner now!**

**FREEZER: Then electrocutionate him! I don't give a f**k!**

**GOKU: Who's your buddy? (screams as he gets zapped by Electrocutioner and gets blasted backwards, hitting the stairs as he falls down)**

**DR. WHEELO: ...Wait, can they all talk?**

**KOCHIN: Of course they can! They're completely sentient.**

**(cut to Bouncy Butcher face-down on the ground, with a hole in his torso)**

**BOUNCY BUTCHER: I need a hug...**

They were trying to hold their laughter.

**KOCHIN: With all their own wants and needs, and a crippling fear of death!**

**BOUNCY BUTCHER: So dark... And cold... (begins sobbing uncontrollably, forming a pool of tears as Bulma watches in stunned shock)**

They were completely shocked but they couldn't keep their laughter.

"We're terrible people." Pyrrha said while laughing.

**DR. WHEELO: Blub-Blub, no...**

**KOCHIN: Now, Freezer! Preserve the goods! (Freezer fires an icy blast at Goku which begins to envelop him)**

**GOKU: Wait, Freezer? Why does that sound familiar...? (the ice is shown reaching his...family 'DragonBalls') OH, GOD, IT'S LIKE THE WORST PART OF GETTING INTO A POOL TIMES A THOUSAND!**

This got a few laughs.

**KOCHIN: Lay the finishing blow!**

**(a caped figure appears)**

"It's Piccolo! He's okay!" Ruby said.

"No, it's Gohan." Blake said.

**GOKU: Thank goodness! Piccolo's here- (the caped figure is Gohan) Oh. Hey, son.**

"He's disappointed." Yang said.

**GOHAN: Hold tight, Dad! We've got you!**

**GOKU: We?**

**(Krillin appears and lands beside Gohan)**

"It's Krillin!" Nora said.

**KRILLIN: And the Krill-dog's in the houuuuu- (gets electrocuted) AAAAAHHHH!**

**GOHAN: (also gets electrocuted) AAAAAHHHH! (both he and Krillin get completely frozen solid by Freezer)**

Everyone laughed.

"Well that sucked." Yang said.

**GOKU: (lets out a deep sigh, eyes narrowed) Kaio-ken. (breaks free of the ice with Kaio-ken and punches Freezer hard in the face and then kicks Electrocutioner before breaking his back and finally lands on the ground while holding Electrocutioner and takes a deep breath)**

"That was way fast! I expected more fighting." Nora said.

**KOCHIN: Man, your new body is gonna be wicked! Completely destroyed the Bio-Warriors.**

**DR. WHEELO: I just thought of something. Kochin...why didn't you give me one of THEIR bodies?**

"He actually could." Weiss said.

**KOCHIN: Uh, hmm... I guess you're right. See, this is why you're the brains! (snickers) ...What, too cheesy?**

Yang started laughing and everyone else groaned.

**DR. WHEELO: More insensitive.**

**KOCHIN: Oh, grow some thicker skin.**

She laughed even more.

**(Wheelo groans in frustration)**

**BULMA: I thought it was clever.**

**(cut to Goku, Gohan, and Krillin running through a dark hall)**

**GOKU: Hurry, guys! We're almost there!**

**GOHAN: So cold... Still wet!**

**KRILLIN: Frostbite... So much frostbite!**

**GOKU: Don't worry, Krillin! The cold never killed anyone!**

"What about hypothermia?" Pyrrha said.

**KRILLIN: Hypothermia would beg to differ!**

**(back in the main lab, where everything's dark)**

**DR. WHEELO: Why did you turn out the lights?**

**KOCHIN: To give us an air of menace!**

"So menacing." Nora said.

**DR. WHEELO: Why do we need menace?**

**KOCHIN: Shh, shh! Here he comes!**

**(Goku, Gohan, and Krillin arrive)**

**GOKU: Wow... This place sure is menacing.**

This got some laughs.

**BULMA: Goku!**

**GOKU: Bulma! Don't worry, Bulma! I'll get you out of- (gets shocked by a force field around Bulma and gets thrown backwards)**

**GOHAN: Daddy!**

**GOKU: Ugh.. I'm gonna have nerve damage after today! (Goku, Gohan, and Krillin are shown behind the monitor) Hey, why didn't you warn me?**

"Why is she chained then?" Ruby said.

**BULMA: I didn't know it would happen! I haven't tried to break out!**

**GOKU: Well, why not?**

**BULMA: I'm chained here!**

**GOKU: Well, that's sexy.**

"Of course." Blake said.

"I'm surprised that Goku knows what the word sexy is." Yang said.

**DR. WHEELO: You mean, sexist?**

**KOCHIN: Well, it's a little sexy.**

**GOHAN: *gasps* Oh, my goodness! Is that a brain? ...Why is it the size of a Greyhound?**

**DR. WHEELO: The BUS?!**

This got a few laughs.

**KOCHIN: This is the magnificent Dr. Wheelo! And we'd like to welcome you to our evil lair!**

**DR. WHEELO: This is neither a lair, nor is it evil! This is a laboratory! For science!**

"Evil science!" Nora said.

**KOCHIN: Yes...evil science!**

**DR. WHEELO: No! Neutral science, at worst!**

**GOKU: I don't care what kind of science you're cooking up! I'm here for two things: to rescue my friends, and correct a mistake! I am Son Goku! And I am the world's strongest!**

**KOCHIN: Okay, we believe you.**

**GOKU: Good. Then, if you don't mind, I'ma just grab my friends, and be on my wa- (begins screaming as he's blasted a mysterious red beam)**

**GOHAN: Pride cometh before the fall, eh Dad?**

**KRILLIN: Come on, Gohan! It's two against- (Piccolo appears in front of him) Huh! Three! Three against one! Ha-ha!**

"It's mr Piccolo! For real!" Ruby said.

"I don't think that his on their side." Jaune said.

"Why are his eyes red?" Pyrrha said.

"Weed brownies?" Yang said.

**GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo!**

**DR. WHEELO: Wait, how long have we had him?**

**KOCHIN: About a week?**

**DR. WHEELO: Just give me his body!**

**KOCHIN: Can't. No penis.**

This got a few laughs.

**DR. WHEELO: Why do you KNOW that?! (Kochin smiles)**

They were laughing like crazy.

"That smile!" Blake said while laughing.

**GOKU: Yo, I broke out of the thingy. Oh, hey, Piccolo! Wow, your eyes are red... You been hanging around Master Roshi?**

"The weed brownies!" Nora said.

**GOHAN: (runs up to Piccolo) Mr. Piccolo! (Piccolo punches him in the face)**

**GOKU: Don't you dare hit my son! ...Unless you're training right now. In which case, Gohan, get back up.**

"Train right now?" Weiss said.

**GOHAN: Dad, I think Dr. Wheelo's controlling him!**

**DR. WHEELO: But I am a brain in a jar!**

**GOKU: So you admit it!**

Weiss facepalmed.

**DR. WHEELO: Kochin, please explain...**

**KOCHIN: KILL THEM ALL!**

**DR. WHEELO: WHY?!**

Everyone laughed.

"He doesn't want violence." Pyrrha said.

**(Piccolo comes at them, causing Krillin to immediately screams and dive out of the way. Piccolo screams for a bit and then proceeds to engage Goku in battle.)**

"That was a slow start." Yang said.

**GOHAN: Stop this! You are men of science! How could you commit such atrocities?!**

**KOCHIN: Excuse you, mustard gas would like a word...**

"Mustard gas?" Blake said.

**GOHAN: Uh, excuse YOU, solar energy has something to say!**

"Oooh, nerd talk back fight!" Nora said.

**KOCHIN: Excuse YOU, anthrax has an opinion on that!**

**GOHAN:Excuse YOU, penicillin would like to chime in!**

**KOCHIN: ...The atom bomb.**

"Gottem." Nova said.

**(Gohan screams and lets out a shockwave that destroys part of the laoratory)**

**DR. WHEELO: Kochin, stop antagonizing him!**

**KOCHIN: You're right. He's incredibly strong! In fact...**

**DR. WHEELO: Kochin, he is a child!**

**KOCHIN: With a penis!**

"Come on, you creep!" Ruby said.

**DR. WHEELO: Kochin, please!**

**KOCHIN: You're right... I should CHECK! (fires a blast from his cane at Gohan, who deflects by screaming out another shockwave that cretes a crater around him, which causes him to slip and fall on his back) Insolent boy... He's in for such a caning... (reaches for his cane, but Krillin kicks it away)**

**KRILLIN: Not so tough without your cane, huh old man? (Kochin smiles and holds out his hand) Um... (the hand transforms into a gatling gun) Ah! (Kochin opens fire...with the bullets harmlessly bouncing off Krillin) Whatever happened to Launch?**

Everyone laughed.

"He's so strong that the bullets bounce off without getting hurt!" Ruby said.

**(Master Roshi appears and takes out Kochin)**

**MASTER ROSHI: And that's for ruinin' my Sunday.**

**(the mind controlling device on Piccolo's head shatters, turning him back to normal)**

"His veins!" Nora said.

**PICCOLO: Huh?**

**GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo!**

**PICCOLO: DODGE! (punches Gohan in the face)**

**GOHAN: (thinking; sighs) Back to normal.**

Everyone laughed.

**DR. WHEELO: Fifty years I was alone... And when I'm finally saved from that loneliness, all I find is horror. In this form, I am powerless; doomed to witness these atrocities. I need a body...I WILL have a body! (breaks free from the wall with Bulma screaming in fear as his brain is revealed to be inside a mechanical body)**

"That was cool." Ruby said.

**DR. WHEELO: HOW LONG HAVE I HAD THIS?!**

"He didn't know about it?"

**KOCHIN: Wait, you seriously never noticed the exo-body I left for you? Did you think I'd literally just leave you in a jar? What kind of monster do you think I am? (Dr. Wheelo stomps the floor, sending Kochin falling down into the abyss) Fair enoooooooough!**

"He's finally dead." Yang said.

**GOKU: See? Now you got a body.**

**DR. WHEELO: This is not a body! This can't taste, or smell, or touch! I am a brain trapped in an exoskeleton!**

**PICCOLO: Well, when you think about it, aren't we all just- (Dr. Wheelo slaps him)**

**DR. WHEELO: NO!**

"That's a good question." Nova said.

**MASTER ROSHI: A Kame and a Hame and a Send-him-home-to-mommy!**

**GOKU, MASTER ROSHI, and KRILLIN: KA... ME... HA... ME... HA!**

**(all three of them fire a combined Kamehameha wave at Dr. Wheelo, which fails to scathe him)**

**MASTER ROSHI: Krillin, you better not have held back! (gets hit by Dr. Wheelo)**

**KRILLIN: Oh, come on! We both know it was Goku! (also gets hit by Dr. Wheelo) WAH!**

**GOKU: Yeah, it might have been me.**

"Such a bragging jerk!" Weiss said.

**BULMA: (head pops out from the table beside Krillin) Can you take me home?**

"Oh yeah, she's there too." Blake said.

**GOKU: All right, everyone. Stand back. I'ma Kaio-kening. (Gohan attempts to attack with the Power Pole and gets whacked by Dr. Wheelo's tail) That means you too, Gohan.**

**GOHAN: (as he hits the ground off-screen) Ow...**

**GOKU: Kaio-ken times three! (transforms and starts charging toward Dr. Wheelo)**

**DR. WHEELO: Kaio-what? (Goku attacks and removes his right arm) Aah!**

"The kaio-what is like a running gag?" Yang said.

"Until he stops using it." Nova said.

**GOKU: Ka... Me... Ha... Me.. HA! (fires a Kaio-Ken powered Kamehameha wave at Dr. Wheelo, who counters by firing a mouth blast, resulting in a beam struggle with Dr. Wheelo having an advantage) (thinking) Kaio-ken...times three... (out loud) AND A HALF! (Kamehameha wave complete engulfs Dr. Wheelo)**

**DR. WHEELO: AA- (cut to an outside shot of the laboratory, with the roof blowing off) -AAAAAH! (the laboratory is shown to be completely destroyed)**

"A half made the difference."

**GOKU: (starts catching his breath) And point...proven!**

**KRILLIN: Wow, that was...quicker than expected.**

**GOKU: Naw, he's alive up there. Plotting like the evil scientist he is.**

**(cut to Dr. Wheelo in outer space)**

**DR. WHEELO: Look at this planet. So beautiful. I'll never see it with my own eyes again... (begins sobbing in complete sadness)**

"He's misunderstood. And now he will die." Pyrrha said.

**(cut back to the destroyed lab)**

**GOKU: Someone needs to kill him. And by someone...I mean the Earth! (raises both arms up)**

**GOHAN: Wait, this doesn't seem right...**

"Or not."

**KRILLIN: Yeah! Kill him, Goku!**

**GOHAN: I'll be right back. (flies off)**

**KRILLIN: Yeah! Kill him, Gohan!**

**(back in outer space, Dr. Wheelo continues crying when Gohan appears)**

"He's crying." Ruby said.

**GOHAN: Hey, Dr. Wheelo, I... Wait, are you crying?**

**DR. WHEELO: I physically can't, but I'm just so sad...**

**GOHAN: You're...not really evil at all, are you?**

**DR. WHEELO: No... I just want a body. Fifty years alone and trapped... (continues crying)**

**GOHAN: Can you wait one more?**

**KRILLIN: It's KRILLER TI- (Dr. Wheelo slaps him)**

This got a few laughs.

**DR. WHEELO: I mean, I guess...**

**GOKU: (from down on Earth) All right! Ready to kill him!**

**GOHAN: Dad, no, we worked it out! He's not evil!**

**GOKU: Oh. (is seen holding the Spirit Bomb) Well, I can't just turn this off. Maybe if I just set it down... (an exploding sound is heard and then shows Goku lying among the falling rubble) Good work, team...**

Everyone laughed.

"Total fail!" Yang said while laughing.

**(one year later, everyone has gathered around at Capsule Corp. and Shenron is summoned from the seven DragonBalls)**

**SHENRON: I am the Eternal Dragon. State your... (sees the Z-Fighters and sighs) Okay, who died?**

"Already to the point." Blake said.

**GOHAN: Actually, nobody. In fact, we want you to create a whole new body.**

**SHENRON: ...I'm listening.**

**GOHAN: We want you to make a human body, and put that brain inside of it.**

"I bet that he will have a giant head." Yang said.

"That will be hilarious." Rubybsaid.

**SHENRON: Huh. Well, at least it's better than that last wish. Who summons the Eternal Dragon to melt some ice?**

**DR. WHEELO: Hmm...**

**SHENRON: Your wish is granted.**

**(eyes glows red and gives Dr. Wheelo a human body)**

**DR. WHEELO: Thank you, everyone. (shows everyone (minus Goku) giving a horrified look as it shows the crown of is head being humongous in order to fit his already large brain, which is making loud hartbeat sounds) Now I can live a normal life again.**

Everyone laughed.

"Called it." Yang said.

"You can't live a normal life with a brain like that." Weiss said.

**("Kochin and the Brain", a parody of the Pinky & The Brain theme song by Team Four Star, plays as the ending credits roll)**

"Another song!" Ruby said.

**They're Kochin and the Brain **

**Yes, Kochin and the Brain **

**Each is a genius **

**But one is insane **

**Their lair is girt by ice **

**Their ambitions, not nice **

**They're Kochin **

**They're Kochin and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain **

**Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain **

**Brain **

**They're making plans to steal **

**The world's strongest guy **

**By the ending of this spiel **

**One of them may just die **

**They're Kochin and the Brain **

**Yes, Kochin and the Brain **

**Their science seems arcane **

**And their practice inhumane **

**Attain new body lies **

**In Son Goku's demise **

**They're Kochin **

**They're Kochin and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain **

**Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain **

**Narf **

**(the peak of the iceberg reveals Pinky and The Brain, with The Brain inside the same exoskeleton Dr. Wheelo was in frm the movie) **

"That was a good marathon. I think it's time to leave." Nova said.

"Wait!" Ruby said." Since we will be at our homes, can you give to everyone accesss to Youtube?"

"Sure.". He snapped his fingers. "Now check on your phones.". They opened their scrolls and saw a new app. "You now have the Youtube app. See you on December 25th.". He then teleported to his place.

**And done! Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	44. It's Christmas Part 1

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 43:**** It's Christmas! Part 1**

It was a nice Saturday morning. Nova was sleeping peacefully on his water matress bed. He then woke up, before his alarm starts ringing like always. He got up and went to see his calendar. Today was August 24th. But he knew that on Remnant, where his friends lived, it was December 24th. He changed and put a red sweater, jeans and sneakers. He decided to make a call.

"Hey brother! How are you doing? Happy birthday eve!" he said. "Yes, I know it's August. Yes, I know that Mom Mary died on August 15th! You see, you remember the friends I have in another world, right? Well, it's Christmas Eve there and I wanted them to experience Christmas for the first time. Yes, thank you. Okay, I have to decorate now, I'll call you later. Bye!". He ended the call. He went oitside and with a swiping motion of his hand, he changed the weather from sunny to snowy. He snapped his fingers and the decorations and the tree appeared. "I love holiday decorations. So much that I want to sing."

_"Oh, it's drawing very near..._

_My favorite time of year..._

_The snow is falling and the cold wind blows..._

_Christmas is almost here!_

_And I know that Santa, Santa, Santa_

_Has his jolly little eyes on me!_

_It keeps me warm and filled with glee_

_To know Santa has his eyes on me!_

_I light my house like a Christmas tree_

_Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lee_

_'Cause Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little_

_Eyes on me! _And I know it because I'm Santa!". While singing, he was using his powers to decorate his mansion. "My house is ready. Now to inform the guests." He then sent a team message. "I'll go start the train."

Let's go now and see what were the kids doing. All of them were using the Youtube app Nova gave them. First the two sisters. They were at their home watching videos. Ruby was watching gun reviews and Yang was watching gaming compilations.

"Man, even though their guns are kinda primitive, they're cool." Ruby said. Then Yang burst into laughter. "Are you watching Vanossgaming?"

"No, I found someone else called M3RKMUSIC, he's hilarious!" Yang said.

"Have you checked SovietWomble?"

"Yeah, they're funny but not that much.". Then they got a message.

"It's Nova! He wants us to come to his place for a Christmas sleepover."

"Cool. Let's tell dad that we'll sleep at Nova's place."

Weiss was in one of the fancy cottages that her family owned. She was spending her time, watching a lot of documentaries about Earth. Now she was taking a break, drinking a cup of tea, watching the snow covering everything and listening to classic music. She was listening to big names like Mozart, Beethoven, Bach and much more. "I guess, even if our world is different, some things are the same." she said. She then got a message. "Christmas sleepover? Sure, why not?"

Some of them, because they didn't have anywhere to go, they stayed at Beacon. Like Blake, Nora and Ren. Blake was in her team's dorm and watching some stories. She found out about a certain type of stories called 'Creepypasta'. And she was very disappointed. "Are these stories supposed to be scary. Most of them are terrible. Some people aren't cut to be writers(*cough* Randomuser9001 *cough*)." she said. She then got a message. "It will be more fun than these stories."

Jaune was at his parents' house. He was watching movie trailers. Right now he was watching the Joker trailer. "Man, so many good movies.". He then got a message. "Sleepover? Mom! Can I go sleep at a friend's house!"

Nora was watching SMG4's War of the fat Italians and she was laughing nonstop. "Pingas is now my favourite word! Ren, you should watch this, it's hilarious!" she said.

"Maybe later." he said. He was watch some anime clips. He was very curious to see more of his 'country's' culture. He saw every type of anime, even some hentai, which he of course liked. They then got a message.

"Yes! It's finally time!"

Lastly, Pyrrha was also at her parents' house. She was watching a lot of DIY makeup videos. "I didn't know you could do so much with fruits." she said. She then got a message. "Christmas sleepover? This is going to be so fun! Wait, there are some coordinates."

It was night. Everyone have gathered up in the forest.

"Why are we all in the forest? It's really cold out here!" Yang said.

"Probably Nova will pick us up. How else we will go to his planet? I can't believe I just said that." Weiss said.

"He will probably take us on a magic train, full of magic and happiness!" Ruby said.

"You said magic two times." Blake said.

"Oh please, like that would hap-". Weiss then got interrupted by a loud whistle. A train whistle. They all turned to see a train coming. "You got to be kidding me."

"I knew it!" Ruby said. The train stopped right in front of them. Then the conductor came out. It turned out that the conductor was Nova

"Hello everyone!" Nova said.

"Nova!" the kids said.

"You came with a train?" Jaune said.

"Yes! The good ol' Nova Express! Well, what are you waiting for? Come aboard!". The kids went got on the train. "ALL ABOARD!"

**BGM: The Polar Express - Polar Express**

The train's engine started running. It started moving. When they git inside, they saw a lot of little kids.

"Uh, why are there a lot of kids?" Yang said.

"It's the train's choir."

"Choir?" Pyrrha said.

"Of course! What would Christmas be, without a song?"

_**It's a magic carpet on a rail**_

_"Never takes a rest"_

_**Flying through the mountains and the snow**_

_**Ride for free and join the fun (You can ride for free)**_

_**If you just say yes!**_

_**'Cause that's the way things happen**_

_**On the Nova Express**_

_"You bet!_

_Wooo wooo the whistle blows_

_That's the sound of her singing_

_Ding ding the bell will ring_

_Golly look at her go!_

_You wonder if you'll get there soon_

_Anybody's guess_

_'Cause that's the way things happen_

_On the Nova Express"_

_**When we get there we'll scream "Yes!" (Yeah)**_

_**We'll arrive with a bang bang bang**_

_**boom boom boom**_

_**Laughing all the way!**_

_"It's a choo choo with a stunning view_

_That rivals all the best_

_But you won't see it advertised_

_It's a simple fact we stay on track_

_Though sometimes we digress_

_But that can only happen on the Nova Express"_

_**Hiss hiss the steam hisses**_

_"That's the sound of her breathing"_

_**Clang clang the boiler bangs**_

_**What a wonderful show!**_

_**With a comfy seat and lots to eat**_

_**Boy is this the best!**_

_**Wish it wouldn't ever have to end**_

_"With a little luck we'll be on time"_

_**There's no need to stress**_

_**"'**__Cause that's the way things happen_

_On the Nova Express_

_Lights are gleaming far across the snow_

_You're not dreaming_

_May I present my home!_

_If it's aliens you expect to view_

_You surely haven't guessed_

_They all live at the galaxy's other end_

_With a little luck we'll be on time_

_There's no need to stress_

_'Cause that's the way things happen_

_On the Nova Express"_

_**Boom boom the whistle blows**_

_"That's the sound of her singing"_

_**Ding ding the bell will ring**_

_**Golly look at her go!**_

_**If you want to join us come along**_

_"I'll check my manifest"_

_**'Cause that's the way things happen**_

_**On the Nova Express**_

_**When we get there we'll scream "Yes!" (Yeah)**_

_**We'll arrive with a bang bang bang**_

_**Boom boom boom**_

_**Laughing all the way**_

_**If you want to join us come along**_

_"You can be our guest"_

_**'Cause that's the way things happen**_

_"On the roller coaster the Nova Express! _Next stop is my house!". He snapped his fingers and the children choir disappeared.

**End of BGM**

"Did you have to sing?" Weiss said.

"What? You didn't like it?"

"No, I did like it!"

"Uh...where did the kids go?" Jaune said.

"At their homes." Nova said. Everyone were watching from the windows.

"Wow! Look at all this! We're travelling through space!" Ruby said.

"It's so beautiful!" Pyrrha said.

"...I don't feel so good..." Jaune said. The train finally stopped in front of Nova's mansion.

"Wow!" everyone said when they saw it.

"It's even bigger than mine!" Weiss said.

"Come on inside!" Nova said. Everyone went inside and the first thing they saw was a bright hall, that you would only see in a 5-star hotel. On the roof there was a giant chandelier, with diamonds from the planet Bling. "You have no idea how much this chandelier cost me."

"This place is amazing." Blake said.

"And you havent seen anything yet.". In front of them was a big door. He opened the door and all of them saw the room. "This is the main living room.". They were amazed by how it looked.

"Wow! That's a giant TV!" Nora said.

"He even has a pool table!" Yang said.

"And a wine bar!" Weiss said.

"This is the best place ever!" Ruby said.

"Come on! Let me show you the rest!" Nova said and everyone followed him. They got into a long hallway, with a lot of rooms, which it looked like it didn't have an end. "I organised every room of my house. Feel free to explore.". They all went to see the rooms.

Ruby opened a door. Inside was a Pokémon stadium, where a fight between a Charizard and a Blastoise was happening. She closed the door and went to another. She opened the door and saw a room full of computers, game consoles and arcade machines. That was the game room. "I'm in paradise." she said, wiping a tear of her face.

Weiss opened a door. The room looked like a fancy restaurant. It was the fancy dining room. "Hmm, for some reason I expected a weird room. I guess I was wrong." she said. She went to oopen another door. She saw a train coming towards her and closed it quickly. "I take it back! Why do you have a room like that?!"

"Because I like cartoons." Nova said.

Blake opened a door and saw a big library. Next to it was a comfy chair and a furnace. She went to another door. She opened it and saw a sushi bar. So she went inside to try some.

Yang opened a door. Inside she saw a hair salon. "I should go there later." she said. She went to another door. She opened it and saw a big spheric room. In the midfle there was a panel. She went inside to give a better look.

"Don't touch anything! That's the gravity chamber! It raises the gravity to a million times." Nova said. Yang left the room to explore more of them.

Jaune was in front of a different door. That one was red. He opened and what he saw surprised him. It was the "fun" room. The interior was like a strip club. Inside where also a lot of topless women, wearing only thongs, bunny ears and cowboy hats. The women noticed Jaune and started talking. "Hey there, big boy." one of them said.

"Oh hi. Excuse me, I didn't-"

"It's okay." she said interrupting him. "Why don't you come in~?".

"M-me? I-". The women then pulled him inside and closed the door. Oh boy.

Nora opened a door. The only thing she saw was colours. It was the nirvana room. She then went to another door. "I wonder if the next room will be as fun." she said. She opened it and saw a circus inside, full of acrobats, animals and magicians. She was amazed, until she saw a clown coming towards her, having a baloon dog on his hand.

"Hey there, little girl!" the clown said. She instantly slammed the door, breathing heavily.

"That was not fun!"

Pyrrha opened the door and saw a massage room. She went and opened another door. It was like a small cinema.

"That's the theater room. We'll come here later to watch some movies." Nova said to her.

Ren opened a door. Inside was a zen garden, that already relaxed him, just by looking at it. He went to open another door. He was blasted by loud music, so he quickly closed it. That was the heavy metal room. "That was loud." he said.

"You should put some labels." Weiss said.

"Damnit, I knew I forgot something. Anyway, come on, gather up." Nova said and most of them came.

"Wait, where's Blake and Jaune?" Ruby said. They then saw Blake coming out of the sushi bar, with a plastic plate full of sushi.

"That's the best sushi I've ever eaten." she said.

"Oh, can I have some?" Yang said.

"Sure."

"But where's Jaune?" Pyrrha said. They then saw him coming out of the room, his clothes ripped, his pants missing and his face full of kiss marks.

"Is this a dream?" Jaune said.

"Where were you been?" Yang said.

"Oh, you went to the "fun" room." Nova said.

"T-the fun room?" Pyrrha said.

"Yeah.". Nova then snapped his fingers and Jaune's face was without the kisses and his clothes were fine. "Follow me.". 'I didn't tell him that one of them had AIDS. He's lucky that I cured him.'. Everyone followed Nova to a certain room. The door had red and green colours with Christmas lights.

"Uh, what room is this?" Ruby said.

"This is the Christmas table.". He opened the door and everyone saw a big ass table, with everything on it. The only thing that was missing was the food. "Take a seat. I'll bring the food.". Everyone sat down and he went to the kitchen. A minute later he came with the food. But the food was floating over him and placed them on the table. He brought the turkey, dip, salad, plate with many types of cheese and salami and little cheese pies, sausage pies and spinach pies(that's what I have in Greece, is it different?).

"Wow! Look at all that food!" Nora said.

"Man, I think you're trying to make us fat." Yang said.

"Don't worry, it won't fatten you up." Nova said.

"How?" Weiss said.

"Uh, hello? I'm a god. Magic. Bon appétit!". And so they started to eat. Time passed and all the plates were empty. Only the bones were left. Meanwhile, Nova was telling them the origins of Christmas. "And that's the origins of Christmas."

"Wow...it sounds a like a fairy tale." Ruby said.

"Yeah, the wizards, the star, I never heard a story like that." Pyrrha said.

"And what about non-belivers?" Blake said.

"They know that my brother existed, it's proven. But the not-Christians believe that he was just a prophet and not a god." Nova said.

"What happened then?" Jaune said.

"For that, I'll tell you another time. On Easter day. If you want to celebrate Easter."

"Why wouldn't we?" Weiss said.

"It depends, can you handle not eating meat and dairy products for 40 days?"

"40 days?!" Ruby said.

"That's how many days are supposed to be, but everyone does it only on the Great Week."

"I can't leave without pancakes for 40 days!" Nora said.

"Are we going to celebrate more of Earth's holidays?" Weiss said.

"Well, there's Easter which is either on April or May, depending on the calendar, Halloween, which is totally American and it's on October 31st-"

"October 31st?!" Ruby said.

'Yeah, why?"

"Ruby's birthday is on October 31st." Yang said.

"Really?"

"Yeah! What is Halloween?" Ruby said.

"It's the day when kids dress up and go from house to house for candy."

"That sounds fun!"

"Well, there's also New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day and my favourite of all, April Fools, which you probably celebrate already. But enough about that. Let's go to the theater room."

"Why?" Blake said.

"To watch some Christmas movies. And I'll make hot cocoa."

"Yay!" Ruby said.

* * *

_Bloopers_

"Oh please, like that would hap-" Weiss got interrupted by a loud whistle. A train whistle. They all turned to see a train coming. "You got to be kidding me."

**BGM: Thomas the tank engine theme (earrape)**

"I knew it!" Ruby said. But something seemed weird.

"Uh... I think it's coming towards us." Blake said.

"Ah, fu-". Before Yang could swear, the train came and ran over them.

**And done! Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	45. It's Christmas! Part 2

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 44:**** It's Christmas! Part 2 (Christmas tree of might)**

Everyone was in the theater room. They all sat on the comfy seats with a cup of hot cocoa in their hand.

"Is everyone comfy?" Nova said.

"Does the seat vibrate?" Yang said.

"Yes, press the button on the armrest.". She found and pressed the button and the seat started vibrating.

"(vibrates) Aww, this feels good."

"Can I have more marshmallows?" Ruby said.

"Sure." Nova said and snapped his fingers. Her cups had more marshmallows now.

"What are we gonna watch?" Blake said.

"Before I show you my favourite Christmas movies, let's watch something small for a warm-up."

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

"They made a Christmas special?" Jaune said.

"And unlike the other two movies this looks old." Yang said.

**(cut to Gohan, Krillin, Bulma and Oolong camping in the woods)**

**NARRATOR: 'Twas the week before Christmas, and upon the Earth, Krillin and Gohan were searching for a tree of great worth. They longed for a tree both tall and rare, and for some other reason, Oolong was there. And with eyes full of wonder and faces all grins, this, my dear viewers, is where our story begins.**

"The narrator is rhyming. I love this already." Ruby said.

**KRILLIN: Alright guys, sleep well. We have an early morning tomorrow to search for our perfect Christmas tree!**

**BULMA: Hey, did anyone take care of that fire?**

**KRILLIN: Oolong, you got that?**

**OOLONG: I'm watching it.**

**(shows the forest being burned down as the animals flee the area)**

"Everything's on fire!" Weiss said.

"I thought he were watching it!" Ruby said.

**KRILLIN: I thought you said you were watching the fire!**

**OOLONG: I was! It was beautiful.**

Everyone facepalmed but also laughed.

**GOHAN: Poor animals, their Christmas is ruined now...**

**KRILLIN: Yeah, and now we don't have our tree.**

**GOHAN: I wish there was something we could do for them.**

**KRILLIN: (a ding sound is heard) Wish? I got it! We could use the DragonBalls!**

"They're going to restore the forest with the Dragon Balls. That's a nice wish." Pyrrha said.

**(shows a quick montage of Gohan and Krillin collecting all seven DragonBalls)**

**KRILLIN: We got the DragonBalls!**

"That was fast." Yang said.

**GOHAN: Amazing how much easier this became with time.**

**(Shenron gets summoned)**

**SHENRON: I am the Eternal Dragon. State your... (sees Krillin, Bulma, and Oolong) No... No way. No, not you again! HAS IT EVEN BEEN A YEAR?!**

**OOLONG: It's been one year, two months, and fifteen...**

**SHENRON: SHUT THE HELL UP!**

**KRILLIN: Almighty Shenron, we called you forth to help us in this dire time! As you can see, this beautiful land full of trees and life has been burned to the ground.**

**SHENRON: So you want me to restore life to this desolated forest?**

**KRILLIN: Hell no! I want a Christmas tree!**

"What?" Blake said.

"A tree?! Are you kidding me?!" Weiss said.

"Is the tree going to be important in the movie?" Jaune said.

"A lot." Nova said.

**SHENRON: ...You want...a tree.**

**KRILLIN: Not just any tree... The PERFECT Christmas tree!**

**SHENRON: ...Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'll give your tree. I'll give you THE BEST DAMN TREE YOU'VE EVER SEEN! (starts laughing sinisterly as he grants Krillin's wish)**

"Shenron is a jerk." Ruby said.

"He asked for it." Yang said.

**KRILLIN: Thank you!**

**SHENRON: Oh, don't thank me. 'Tis the season of giving. (vanishes as the DragonBalls scatter away)**

**(cut to a spaceship approaching Earth)**

**SLAY: Turles, sir, our navigation system just changed course. We're on route to a new planet, Earth.**

**TURLES: Does it contain a sufficient amount of joy?**

**SLAY: According to our sensors, yes.**

**TURLES: Well then... Merry Christmas.**

"Goku?!" everyone, except Nova, said.

"What a plot twist!" Nora said.

"It's not Goku. He's Turles." Nova said.

"He looks exactly like Goku!" Jaune said.

"Is he his brother?" Ren said.

"No. He is not related to Goku. Some low class Saiyans look exactly the same." Nova said.

"That explanation is lazy." Blake said.

**("Christmas Tree of Might" appears on the screen as "Jingle Bell Rock" plays before switching to "Rock The Dragon")**

"ROCK THE DRAGON, DRAGON BALL Z!" Nova said.

"For the hardcore boys." Yang said.

**(cut to Goku's house)**

**CHI-CHI: You are not allowed to go camping again, young man.**

**GOKU: (in background) We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas... On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...**

**GOHAN: But Mom, Oolong's the one who burned down the forest, not me!**

"Yeah, that's not a reason to make him not go camping!" Ruby said.

"Look at Goku, he doesn't give a crap." Yang said.

**CHI-CHI: I don't care whose fault it is, you need to be responsible. Remember, if you don't act like a good little boy, Santa won't bring you any presents this year. Goku, stop that or I will deck you in the halls!**

**GOKU: Okay!**

**GOHAN: He's just gonna bring me books again...**

**CHI-CHI: He brings you what you like, and what do you like!?**

**GOHAN: I like books!**

**CHI-CHI: See, he brings you what you like.**

"That's the worst holiday gift ever!" Nora said.

"Not always." Blake said.

**GOKU: Well, what am I getting for Christmas?**

**CHI-CHI: The same thing as last year, Goku.**

"The succ?" Yang said.

"You always have to say something dirty." Weiss said.

**GOKU: Oh, so that thing you do with your mouth-?**

**CHI-CHI: Not in front of Gohan!**

"Are you kidding me?!"

"I didn't expect it, I was joking." Yang said.

**(cut to Yamcha and Puar flying inside a car)**

**PUAR: Yamcha, why did you spend all your baseball money on this car instead of buying Christmas gifts for your friends?**

**YAMCHA: Puar, the only gift they need is the gift of Yamcha.**

"At least it's not as bad as books." Nora said.

**PUAR: ...That's a non-refundable gift, isn't it?**

**YAMCHA: Just like this car.**

"It's worse than books." Ruby said.

**(there's an explosion from inside the forests that sends the car flying, causing Yamcha and Puar to scream before the car explodes)**

Everyone laughed for some reason.

"Why was that funny?" Yang said.

"Poor Yamcha." Jaune said.

"We're terrible people." Blake said.

**SLAY: It is time. Plant the tree. (short pause) Of might. (another short pause) The Christmas Tree of Might.**

**(Diaz throws the seed into an abyss)**

**JINGA & BERU: Oh...**

**JINGA: Title drop.**

**SLAY: Now...let the Yuletide celebrations begin.**

**("Deck the Halls Metal Style!" plays as the Christmas Tree of Might starts growing and destroying the city)**

"The best holiday song." Yang said.

**BOY: Mommy? (gets crushed by a car, in which a man is seen getting out and runs off)**

Everyone jumped by surprise and some of them laughed.

"That's not funny!" Pyrrha said.

**(cut to Goku's House)**

**YAMCHA: So yeah, um, I'm gonna have to crash with you guys for a while.**

**GOKU: Ha, ha! "Crash" like your car.**

This got a few laughs.

**YAMCHA: Yes, Goku... Like my car.**

**MASTER ROSHI: I can't believe the wreckage landed on your house.**

"Now that's bad luck." Blake said.

**YAMCHA: Neither can I. And since I put all my money into the car, I'm pretty much destituted.**

"Wow, he has worse luck than Uncle Qrow." Ruby said.

**GOHAN: You know, studies say that depression hits worst during the holiday season. That's why the suicide rates are so high.**

**YAMCHA: ...**

**(everyone except Yamcha and Bulma start laughing)**

"Why is he even hanging out with them?" Jaune said.

**GOKU: Like your car.**

"Goku's in his world like always." Weiss said.

**KING KAI: (telepathically) Hey, are we laughing at Yamcha, cause I'm always up for that.**

"Even gods laugh at his expense! That's how much you suck." Yang said.

**GOKU: King Kai, is that you?**

**KING KAI: (telepathically) I just want to call you up and wish you a Merry Christmas.**

**GOKU: (telepathically to King Kai on his planet) Aw shucks, King Kai. You too.**

**KING KAI: Yeah, also thought I'd tell you about the evil space pirates who are killing your planet.**

**GOKU: Space in the what now?**

"Space pirates sounds so cool!" Ruby said.

**KING KAI: You see, a group of space pirates have sought out your planet. And with it, are growing an evil, evil tree.**

**GOKU: How evil?**

**KING KAI: It's literally sucking the Christmas joy out of the entire planet.**

"That's sounds like something out of a kid's movie." Blake said.

**GOKU: *gasp* That's Disney evil!**

"Disney?" Jaune said.

"The biggest entertainment company. They made a lot of kids shows and movies." Nova said.

**KING KAI: (telepathically) Well, that's all from here. I'm gonna go spike the eggnog and watch Gregory get smashed. Merry Christmas!**

**GOKU: Alright guys, group meeting. So, it turns out someone just planted a gigantic tree...**

**KRILLIN: Hurray! My tree!**

**GOKU: ...that is sucking the Christmas joy out of the entire world!**

**KRILLIN: I mean, oh, no! Who would be so dastardly?**

**GOKU: So, my plan is we get the DragonBalls and wish it away!**

**KRILLIN: Uuuummmm...**

"Bad idea." Yang said.

**GOKU: I'm kiddin'. We're gonna go blow it up!**

"Best idea."

**(cut to Goku, Krillin, Yamcha, Tenshinhan, and Chiaotzu blasting the tree, which has no effect)**

**GOKU: Didn't work.**

**TIEN: Damn. If we don't act soon, Christmas is going to be ruined forever.**

**KRILLIN: Wait a minute. Tien, Chiaotzu, what are you two doing here? Aren't you Jewish?**

**TIEN: (now wearing a yarmulke as Jewish music plays) Hey, I'm just trying to be culturally sensitive...you Buddhist ass!**

This got a few laughs.

"So not everyone celebrates Christmas." Ren said.

**KRILLIN: Well, happy holidays to you too.**

**GOKU: I think the only course of action left...is to reason with it.**

"That's a stupid idea." Weiss said.

**YAMCHA: Uh, Goku?**

**GOKU: Big tree! If you don't leave right now, I'm gonna have to beat you up!**

**YAMCHA: Goku, trees can't tal-**

**SLAY: (off-screen) Why don't you come up here and try it?**

**YAMCHA: Know what? F**k it, I don't care anymore.**

**(everyone flies up on the tree and confronts the villains responsible, who are chuckling evilly)**

**KRILLIN: Who the hell are these guys?**

**SLAY: We are from the planet of Misfit Minions.**

"Misfit?" Pyrrha said.

**REESE: Where all banished servants of Santa Claus are sent.**

"I wonder why." Blake said sarcastically.

**BERU: We were all lost, hope forsaken.**

**JINGA: But now Turles has given us a new chance at life.**

**JINGA & BERU: And at revenge!**

**KRILLIN: But why were you banished in the first place?**

**SLAY: Some of us did things...terrible things.**

**REESE: Things that some of us regret, and some of us don't.**

**SLAY: Take me for example. I was but a humble mall Santa trying to bring children joy.**

**TIEN: So what happened?**

"He probably sent a lot of kids in the hospital. Or raped." Yang said.

**SLAY: Well, a young child asked me for a fire truck.**

**GOKU: Awww!**

**SLAY: So I dropped one on his house.**

"Wait, a real fire truck?" Pyrrha said.

"That's a great present!" Nora said.

"What about the destroying the house part?" Nova said.

"Except for that."

**GOKU: Awww.**

**JINGA: Then there was my brother and I.**

**BERU: We were once elves working at Santa's workshop.**

**JINGA: Until a robot we made to aid production went out on a murderous rampage.**

**S.N.O.W.:**_** Fa la la la la, la la, la DIE.**_

"The best robot! I don't see why they're banished!"

**KRILLIN: Yikes. (to Reese) Wait a minute, that doesn't cover you. What'd you do?**

**REESE: Something so evil, I am forever on Santa's naughty list.**

**YAMCHA: Geez, compared to these guys, what could you have possibly-**

**REESE: I raped Rudolph. (sounds of Reese laughing along with a reindeer's pained cries are heard)**

They were trying to hold their laughter because that was terrible.

"I wouldn't fight that guy." Yang said.

**TIEN: Dibs on not fighting that guy.**

"Even Tien is scared." Ruby said.

**GOKU: We have to save Christmas, guys! Let's go!**

**(everyone except Goku charges at the Misfit Minions with Jinga and Beru knocking Tien and Chiaotzu out of the air)**

**JINGA: Jinga!**

**BERU: Beru!**

**JINGA & BERU: The great Jinga Beru Brothers!**

"Wait, isn't the song's title Jiggle Bell?" Weiss said.

**TIEN: You mean Jingle Bell, right?**

**JINGA: No, Jinga...**

**BERU: ...and Beru!**

**TIEN: (slightly annoyed) Noooo... Jingle... Bell.**

**JINGA: Jinga!**

**BERU: Beru!**

**TIEN: (pissed) F**KING WEEABOOS! (uses Solar Flare to blind Jinga and Beru)**

Everyone laughed.

"Ohh, now I get it!" Nora said.

**(cut to Krillin and Slay)**

**SLAY: You know, you look like one of the kids I let sit on my lap once. 'Course, he was the cancer patient; asked me if I could get rid of his cancer.**

"I don't want to hear more!" Pyrrha said.

**KRILLIN: Oh god, this is going exactly where I think this is, isn't it?**

**SLAY: So I blew him up! No more cancer!**

"How did he got hired?!" Weiss said.

**KRILLIN: God, you are one of the worst mall Santas ever! Right behind those ones that molest kids.**

**SLAY: ...So I'm the worst mall Santa.**

**KRILLIN: Oh, come on!**

This got a few laughs.

**(cut to Yamcha using his Spirit Ball technique)**

**S.N.O.W.: Singing "Yamcha the Scar-Faced Bandit" (said song starts playing)**

**YAMCHA: Go to hell! (throws Spirit Ball at S.N.O.W., which misses) Oh. Come. On. Come. On. Damn. You. (now having trouble redirecting the Spirit Ball)**

"Come on, it can't be that hard!" Yang said.**S.N.O.W.: Do you require assistance?**

**YAMCHA: Shut. Up. You. Cowardly. God. (Spirit Ball finally hits) YES! Take that, motherfu- (S.N.O.W. charges at him and rams him to the ground)**

**And if you saw this guy fight **

**You would even say he blows **

**S.N.O.W.: Agreed.**

"Why so much hate?" Jaune said.

**(cut to Chiaotzu flying away from Jinga)**

**JINGA: I'll make you pay, like the rest of them! (fires a blast at Chiaotzu)**

**CHIAOTZU: Aaaah! I told you, I'm not an elf, I'm just really short!**

**JINGA: Shut up, Claus lover! (fires a barrage of blast)**

**CHIAOTZU: I don't even celebrate Christmas- Oh, my God! (gets hit)**

**(shows Gohan charging at Jinga)**

**JINGA: What the fuuuuuuuuu... (gets headbutted by Gohan)**

**GOHAN: Did I just smash the Krampus? Oh well, where are the others? If I don't find them soon, it's gonna be too late to go caroling! (bumps into Turles) Hey Dad, what's with the getup? It's not Halloween, it's Christmas!**

"Oh no, it's dark Goku." Yang said dramatically

**TURLES: Christmas? I HATE Christmas!**

**GOHAN: You're not my dad! (Turles grabs him by the scarf)**

**TURLES: I hate gingerbread houses. I hate presents and toys. I hate reindeer and all of the good girls and boys. I hate the Whos down in Whoville and all of their songs. I hate their whumpets and blumpets and goobag-for-brawns. I hate carols and sleigh rides and falalalalas. But above all things else...I hate Santa Claus!**

"Why does he hate Christmas?" Ruby said.

**GOHAN: Don't talk sh*t about Santa! (Turles blocks his punch)**

**TURLES: You're Saiyan, aren't you? How lucky you were...to never suffer my injustice! (starts crushing Gohan's fist, causing him to scream)**

Everyone cringed.

**TURLES: However, after my tree is done with this planet, you'll be left with no ale to speak of! (chuckles until his scouter beeps) What? Who's there? (Piccolo arrives)**

**PICCOLO: Bitch, you look like Goku.**

"It's Piccolo! Now the movie is 500% better!" Nora said.

"That's a very accurate calculation." Nova said.

**TURLES: And you look like a Yoshi.**

**PICCOLO: I get that. Now hand over the kid.**

**TURLES: Oh, you want this kid?**

**PICCOLO: I want him.**

**TURLES: You want this kid?**

**PICCOLO: I want him.**

**TURLES: You want this kid?**

**PICCOLO: I want him!**

**TURLES: You want, you want?**

"Get over with it!" Yang said and laughed for some reason.

**PICCOLO: I WANT THAT KID! (charges at Turles, who tosses Gohan at him)**

**GOHAN: Hi, Mr. Piccolo!**

**PICCOLO: Merry Christmas. (gets blasted by Turles)**

**GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo... (gets pinned to the ground by Turles' foot)**

**TURLES: Yeah, you're gonna stay right there. Now how 'bout I show you a little trick I learned? If I put pressure down on this part of your back... (puts more force on Gohan's back, causing him to sprout his tail) ...your tail grows back!**

"More Great Ape Gohan!" Ruby said.

**GOHAN: And...?**

**TURLES: Look! (throws a fake moon in the sky and kicks Gohan before grabbing him by the eyes, forcing him to look at the fake moon) It's the Star of Bethlehem. You know what means?**

**GOHAN: Jesus is born?**

**TURLES: Yeah, only instead of Jesus...it's a giant monkey.**

**GOHAN: I don't see the para- (transforms into an Oozaru)**

**GOKU: Gohan! (dodges an attack by Oozaru Gohan) Aw man... If Chi-Chi finds out about this, I might not get mouth present.**

"She can give it any day she wants!" Yang said.

"Yang!" Ruby said.

"What? It's true."

**TURLES: Now, what will you do? Son against father; father against son! In a battle to the death! (Goku cuts off Oozaru Gohan's tail, returning him back to normal and catches him) ...Well played. **

"That's actually smart." Pyrrha said.

"Wait, that was it?" Ruby said.

"There's a second part." Nova said.

"Then play it."

**[DISCLAIMER]**

**KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.**

**(cut to Goku inside a cave holding Gohan)**

**GOKU: It's okay, Gohan. You're safe. Now go to sleep, and in the morning, Santa will have brought all of your presents. And by presents, I mean books.**

**GOHAN: D-dang it. (passes out)**

This got a few laughs.

**TURLES: Savor this moment, Kakarrot. It will be the last one you ever have with your son!**

**GOKU: Guh! He knows my Saiyan name... So you... must be Vegeta!**

"Really? Vegeta?" Blake said.

**TURLES: Wait, you think I'm-**

**GOKU: Silly Vegeta, it's not Halloween; it's Christmas! Take that costume off!**

**TURLES: I'm not Vegeta. I'm just another Saiyan who escaped the destruction of our planet.**

**GOKU: Ohhhhh. (thinking) Man, that means he's like...an evil me! Only he doesn't have a goatee. I'm gonna imagine one! (a goatee appears on Turles' face) So evil!**

This got a few laughs.

"He's pure evil." Nora said.

**(Turles groans in annoyance and then cuts to him and Goku now outside on the Christmas Tree of Might)**

**GOKU: Now it's just down to you and me.**

**TURLES: Yes, me and you. Oh, and my five Misfit Minions.**

**GOKU: But...what about my friends?**

"They're dead." Yang said.

**SLAY: We all had eggnog and Christmas fudge.**

**GOKU: Really?**

**REESE: Nope! Wasted them like figgy pudding.**

"Who wastes figgy pudding?!" Ruby said.

**GOKU: YOU NEVER WASTE FIGGY PUDDING! (attacks the Misfit Minion, knocking all of them out)**

"That was fast." Blake said.

"To be honest, they never stood a chance against him." Nova said.

**S.N.O.W.: (as he gets hit) DROID.**

**GOKU: ...Did I just smash the Krampus?**

**TURLES: This has gone on long enough! You don't even understand why I'm here, do you?**

**GOKU: All I heard was, "Look at me! I hate Christmas, because I'm a big jerk!"**

"Gottem."

**TURLES: And who wouldn't be a big jerk after the injustices I suffered? On planet Vegeta, we heard about all the other planets that Santa would visit. We heard of the joy he brought children! Of the presents! Of the merriment! THAT I WAS DENIED! Planet Vegeta never got Christmas. No, all we got was Freeza Day!**

**GOKU: Well, what'd you get for Freeza Day?**

**TURLES: He blew our planet up!**

"And why didn't they killed that Frieza before he does that?" Weiss said and Nova started laughing loudly. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, you have no idea." Nova said.

**GOKU: Well, that's sad... But I still can't let you steal the joy from Earth!**

**(a ding sound is heard from inside Tree of Might)**

**TURLES: Hold that thought; Tree's done. (takes a fruit from the Tree of Might)**

**GOKU: ...What?**

**TURLES: See, this fruit holds all the joy from Earth. When I eat it, I will gain Earth's joy!**

"So, he will become stronger or more joyful?" Ruby said.

**GOKU: Why are you so evil?!**

**TURLES: Deal with it.**

**NARRATOR: Turles ate of the fruit, and so they say, his power level grew three sizes that day.**

**(Turles takes a bite from the fruit and bulks up, crushing what's left of the fruit)**

**GOKU: (thinking) That's not good...! (gets pummeled by Turles, which ends with Turles stomping on his head)**

"That song in the background was awesome." Yang said.

**TURLES: Now, denounce your faith!**

**GOKU: N-no!**

**TURLES: Denounce your faith in Santa Claus!**

**GOKU: Never!**

**TURLES: Well then... Bah Humbug. (fires multiple blasts at Goku, who screams in pain)**

Everyone cringed by hearing his screams.

"Bam hum-what?" Ruby said.

**TURLES: Well, now that that's over, time to plan a bitchin' New Year's party! (starts flying away)**

**GOKU: (thinking) N-no... Christmas can't be ruined...! Must...summon up...energy!**

"How is he still alive after that?" Weiss said.

"Uh, plot armor?" Ruby said.

**?: Goku, it is I, the anointed saint. The spreader of love and peace.**

**GOKU: Oh, wow, it's...**

**SANTA: Yes, it is I, Santa. (Goku gets up and gasps)**

"You can't be serious." Blake said.

**SANTA: You must defeat him, Goku; you are the one who can.**

**GOKU: (thinking) But he's got all of Earth's joy. He's too powerful.**

**SANTA: No, Goku. The joy is within your heart.**

**GOKU: *gasps* You're right! (raises both hands in the sky)**

"That's so stupid." Weiss said, laughing a little.

**SANTA: Now kick his ass to the North Pole and back!**

**GOKU: Yes, Santa!**

**TURLES: (while calculating Goku's power level with his scouter) What the hell? What is this sudden burst of joy?**

**GOKU: This is Christmas, melon farmer! (hurls the Spirit Bomb at Turles, who gets engulfed in the blast)**

"Melon farmer?" Jaune said.

**TURLES: (thinking) No...so...much...joy! (yells as he dies along with the tree getting destroyed, which showers the Earth with yellow snow)**

"That was cool." Ruby said.

**MAN: Look! It's snowing!**

**WOMAN: But...it's yellow.**

**("Let it Snow" starts playing as the animals in the forest start to get back up on their feet)**

"That's a nice song." Weiss said.

**GOKU: (thinking) It's too bad that Turles was such a Scrooge. We would have happily shared our Christmas with him.**

**SANTA: You know... The sad part is, I always tried to visit Planet Vegeta. Problem was, they kept trying to shoot down my sleigh.**

**GOKU: (thinking) Bummer.**

"Shoot him down? Why?"

"Because it's probably fun for them." Yang said.

**SANTA: Now, I'm off to deliver my presents. But thank you...for saving Christmas!**

**GOKU: Anytime, Santa! Bye!**

**SANTA: Ho, ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Hoooo, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, hooo!**

**GOKU: (thinking) Wait a second... If that guy wasn't Vegeta, where is Vegeta?**

**(cut to Vegeta on Planet Namek)**

**VEGETA: This is so non-canon it hurts.**

"Are those Dragon Balls? They look so big!" Weiss said.

"That's what she said." Yang said.

"You know, that doesn't work when you say it to a girl." Blake said.

"I don't care."

**GHOST NAPPA: Vegeta... Tonight you will be haunted by three ghoooosts! (appears) And they're all me. (two more Ghost Nappas appear)**

**GHOST NAPPAS: Hi.**

"Yes! Ghost Nappa!" Nora said.

**VEGETA: Goddamm it, I hate Christmas.**

**[Ending credits]**

**Goku got a "KenTacoHut" from Santa...**

"He got a fast food restaurant? Lucky."

"That has fried chicken, tacos and pizza." Nova said.

"Stop torturing me!"

**...and something else from Chi-Chi.**

"Goku had the best gifts." Yang said.

**Chi-Chi got a GPS to keep track of Gohan...and some mouthwash.**

"GPS?! Who would want a mother like her?" Weiss said.

**Gohan got books.**

"Aww, poor Gohan." Pyrrha said.

**He also got a flying dragon.**

"That's so cool! Having a dragon as your pet!" Ruby said.

**But due to it being non-canon, he was not allowed to keep it.**

"Wow, the universe hates Gohan." Yang said.

"And Yamcha." Nova said.

**Krillin got a new shaver. He also got a girlfriend.**

"Oh wow, she's hot."

**But due to her being non-canon, he was not allowed to keep her.**

"And Krillin too." Blake said.

"Wow, I forgot that Kyle Herbert was Santa." Nova said.

"Who is that?" Ruby said.

"He played the narrator and adult Gohan in the English dub of Dragon Ball."

"Wait, they got someone from the actual cast?" Blake said.

"That shows that the actors really love their fans."

**Piccolo got a water purifier and a new turban. Also a bigger role in the next movie.**

"Yay, more Piccolo!" Ruby said.

**Yamcha got a year's worth of free gasoline.**

Everyone laughed.

"That's so terrible!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"Who knows? Maybe he can open a gas station. Okay that was a bad joke." Nova said.

"Not even I would say that." Yang said.

**Tenshinhan and Chiaotzu ate Chinese and watched a movie. They saw Yogi Bear in 3D. Chiaotzu is no longer allowed to pick the movies.**

"Wait, they didn't get anything?" Ruby said.

"They said they doesn't celebrate Christmas." Blake said.

**Bulma got a new wardrobe. Oolong got her old panties.**

"I guess there is no anime without a pervert, isn't there?" Weiss said.

"Thankfully not." Nova said.

**Shenron got...a restraining order.**

"From who?" Jaune said.

**MERRY CHRISTMAS**

"That was a nice special." Ruby said.

"I know. Now let's watch some real movies." Nova said. They only had time for two movies.

The first movie they saw was _A Christmas carol. _They liked the story. A terrible old man who hated Christmas and changed his way. Although they got scared and disturbed by the three ghosts, they liked it. Next and final one was _Die Hard._ It's not a Christmas movie but it happens on Christmas, so that makes it a Christmas movie. And they all loved it.

"That movie was awesome!" Ruby said.

"Yeah, Spruce Willis-"

"Bruce." Nova interrupted Yang.

"-Bruce Willis' movies are great."

"It's a little weird that they look exactly the same." Pyrrha said.

"And their names too." Blake said.

"What does that mean?" Nova said. They all looked up, thinking that. It couldn't be just a coincidence. But they shrugged it off and continued talking about the movie.

"The movie was great, but the scene in the bathroom was disgusting." Weiss said.

"Yeah, he took broken glass shards off his feet. That was extreme." Jaune said.

"But awesome nonetheless." Ruby said.

"Okay, I think it's time to go to sleep." Nova said.

"Yeah, I do feel tired." Yang said.

"Yeah, let's go." Ruby said. So then everyone went to their beds. Nova showed them where they will sleep. It was a large bedroom with 8 beds, each of them had a different coloured sheet, for each of them. They instantly fell asleep.

"Good night, kids. Tomorrow it's a big day. Tomorrow it's Christmas." Nova said. He closed the door and left.

* * *

_Bloopers_

"Good night, kids. Tomorrow it's a big day. Tomorrow it's Christmas." Nova said. He went close to Ruby and gave her a good night kiss. Then he heard loud banging.

"FBI OPEN UP!". Then all of sudden FBI agents came through every corner of the room and charged at Nova. They pinned him down and started beating him with batons.

"Come on! Please! OW! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! OW! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! OW! OW! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Nova screamed as they were beating him up. Meanwhile, they kids were still sleeping and Ruby had a smile on her face(u w u).

**And done! I want you to tell me what would be the ideal Christmas gift for them. Like, follow and review. See you soon!**


	46. It's Christmas! Part 3 (Season 1 end)

**Hey everyone. I asked in the last chapter about the perfect presents. Only one answered. I get it, no one reads the last author note, I was one of them. But I have one more question. Nova is a JoJo fan. RWBY has 3 big assholes(Cinder, Adam, Raven). Who deserves Star Platinum, who Crazy Diamond and who Gold Experience? I want to hear(see) your thoughts.**

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 45:**** It's Christmas! Part 3 (Presents and games)**

It was almost morning, but it was still dark. Nova was already awake and he was wearing a Santa costume, with a sack full of stuff. He went to the main living room and placed the presents. "I hope they like my presents.". He then snapped his fingers and the Santa outfit disappeared. He wore again his red sweater.(what was the point of the costume then?) He made a cup of cocoa and waited for them to wake up.

Hours passed. He then saw the kids coming to the living room. "Good morning, Nova." the kids said.

"Good morning, kids. Merry Christmas. Look what Santa brought you." Nova said, pointing at the presents under the tree. They were surprised to see so many gifts.

"Look at all those presents!" Nora said.

"Are these for us?" Blake said.

"Of course! Come on, open them!" Nova said. Everyone was searching for their present.

"Wow, mine is very big!" Ruby said, when she found hers. She got opened it and couldn't believe her eyes what she got. "Is... is that...?"

"Yes! It's a Barrett M82, one of Earth's most powerful sniper rifles. And it's all yours.". She was so excited that she fainted. But she got up again to see what her friends got. Weiss was surprised when opened her present. She wasn't expecting it at all.

"A karaoke machine?" Weiss said.

"I didn't know what would you want for a present, so I gave you something that everyone likes. It also has extra microphones for your friends."

"This is the first time I got somethng that are not fancy dresses and jewelry! Thank you!"

Blake opened her present and it was expensive clothes. "Thanks Nova, these clothes look amazing." she said.

"I got them from the most famous fashion houses on Italy. They're authentic Gucci and Dolce Cabbana. Try them!". Blake tried her new clothes and she looked gorgeous. Everyone found her beautiful.

"Oh my god, you look so beautiful!" Weiss said.

"Damn, purple looks good on you, Blakey!" Yang said.

"Thanks guys." Blake said, her face blushing.

"You are beautiful with these clothes! Sei molto bella!" Nova said.

"More like sei molto _belladona._ Get it?"

"The pun was bad but thanks." Blake said. Nova then got closer to her and whispered.

"Your other present is there *wink*"

"Thanks." she whispered back.

Yang opened her present. It was a pair of gauntlets, with a yellow dragon skin on each gauntlet.

"Are these-?"

"Your new gauntlets. They are more powerful than your current ones. They have the shotgun feature but they also have small machine guns. And if you want to turn your friends into salad, they have Wolverine's claws. Try it.". Yang wore the gauntlets and tried the new features like the machine guns and the claws.

"Wow, this is awesome! I also like the skin."

"Not only that. If you're on your per- I mean if you're really pissed, they get on fire.". She got angry with that period joke and they did got on fire.

"This is the best gift I got!"

"These are the best weapons ever! After mine of course." Ruby said.

Jaune opened his present and it was also expensive clothes. "These look very expensive! Thanks Nova."

"It was nothing. Try them." Nova said. Jaune tried the clothes and he looked fabulous. Like JoJo fabulous.

"How do I look?". He saw all the girls with blood coming out of their noses. Pyrrha even fainted.

"I think she lost her virginity just by looking at you. Do a JoJo pose."

"A what? Oh yeah.". He then does a cool JoJo pose.(insert sfx kanji)

"Nice. Now you Blake."

"What? Why?" she said.

"Why not? Come on, do a pose, show us that you have a personality!". Everyone was like 'OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH'.

"You want a pose? Fine!". She then did a pose (insert sfx kanji). "Happy now?"

"Totally."

After that they continued opening their presents. Nora was shaking the box to guess what's in it. "You're gonna love your present."

"Is it a pancake button?" Nora said.

"Oh, pancakes! It was pancakes! How could I forget that? Unfortunately no."

"Aww..."

"But!"

"Huh?"

"I got something else. Open it.". She opened it and it was a box and it had a button on it. She pressed and a muffin appeared. "It's a muffin button! You like it?"

"I love it! Its the fifth best thing in the world!"

"What's the second?"

"Explosions, explosives and waffles."

Pyrrha finally gained consciousness. Minutes later she opened her present. It was an ancient Spartan armor made of gold. "A golden armor?!" she said surprised.

"I know, right? I had to go back in time to get it prepared. Also look under the chest.". She looked under the armor's chest and she saw a name, Λεωνίδας. "Who is Leonidas?".

"The king of Σπάρτη, you silly redhead."

"King?!" everyone said.

"Uh huh! Try it!". She tried the armor and it fit prefectly.

"This armor is surprisingly light! It's great! But I think it shows a little cleavage."

"Huh?"

"Actually now that I feel it better, it's really warm inside."

"So... you don't like it?" Nova said with a sad face.

"No, it's not that, it's just...". Before she could say anything, she saw something that made her heart break. She saw in front of her Nova, in chibi form, with big sad eyes, shedding a single tear. He looked like the saddest handicapped puppy. "Uh... it's perfect! I love it."

"You *sniff*, you mean it?"

"Yes, I mean it."

"Can... can I have a hug?"

"Sure, come here." She then gave him a hug, making a squeaky sound.

"(muffled) I should probably take my face of your boobs, I could get arrested for that."

"But you're a god. Also you're the only one that lives here." Yang said.

"First of all, you can't escape the FBI. Second, she's underage."

Ren opened his gift and he was confused. "Headphones?" he said.

"Those are special headphones. You won't hear any annoying sounds and you can listen to 12 calming tracks. Try one.". Ren chose a track. He started listening to birds chirping, calm rivers and etc.

"Wait, he can't hear me? Ren? Ren! REN!" Nora yelled. He took a megaphone. "_REEEN!"._ Everyone else was covering their ears. She then raised the volume to earrape._"__REEEEEEEEN!__". _But still nothing, he couldn't hear her. That made her more angry and more eager to make him listen.

"I think my ears are bleeding." Blake said. Nora then took Ren to the hall with the doors. She went to the heavy metal room. In there a band was playing.

"Gimme that!". She kicked the guitarist off the stage and took his guitar. "Raise the volume to the max!". A guy then raised the volume to the max. Ren was in front of the giant speakers. She played a note and he got launched off the stage, landing on a soft matress. And he was still not listening. "Dammit!". She gave up and returned to the main living room. "I hate them." she pouted.

"Wow, look at all that snow! Let's play outside!" Ruby said.

"Play outside? We're not little kids." Weiss said, before she got pushed down by Nova, who was running outside.

"Last one out is a vagina! WOOHOO!" he said and everyone else followed.

"For a guy as old as time he acts like a child." Weiss muttered as she walked outside. But she then noticed everyone coming back, pushing her down again, because they were in their pajamas.

"Gotta change first!" Ruby said and Weiss just sighed.

Everyone was outside playing in the snow. Nova was making a snow angel, along with Nora, but she did it way faster. When she stood up, she saw that she made a circle. "Aww..." she said and the rest of the team laughed. Meanwhile, Weiss was making a snowman.

"Yeah, we're not little kids." Blake said sarcastically.

"Shut up, okay? I wouldn't be outside doing nothing, like you. Besides, I like making snowmen."

"I was expecting you to make an ice sculpture."

"I do that only when I want to show off. Now to adjust the final details and... done! He's finished." Weiss said.

"And what's his name?"

"Hmm... Frosty!"

"I feel like this one's taken."

"I don't care. But I feel like something is missing. The scarf! Be right back.". Then she went inside to take a scarf.

"Sometimes she can be as childish as Ruby."

Meanwhile, Ruby and Yang were at the top of a small mountain near the house, for a sleigh ride (Where did they find it?").

"Are you ready?" Yang said.

"I was born ready!" Ruby said.

"Then let's go!". Yang pushed the sleigh and jumped in quickly before it left. They were going down the mountain really fast. "YAHOO!"

"THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!". As they were sliding, they saw some trees in front. They avoided all the trees on the way, turning slightly. "Yeah!". They gave a high five to each other. After that, they tried to stop but it was going too fast. "We can't stop it!"

"Watch out!". In front of them was a snowman, the one that Weiss made.

"I should probably move out of the way." Blake said, taking a step back.

"Alright, I brought the scarf. Time to make you look pretty." Weiss said. Before she put the scarf on the snowman, thw two sisters ran over it and then crashed. "My snowman!". Luckily they stopped in a snowbank. Their heads stuck out of the snow, their faces full of excitement and adrenaline. Except for Ruby, her head was stuck in the snowman's head.

"That was awesome!" Yang said, giving her a high five.

"Look what you did to my snowman!".

"Yeah, don't worry about us, we're fine." she said sarcastically. Ruby then tried to say that they were sorry, but no one understood what she was saying, while trying to get the snowman's head off hers. "Sorry, but we couldn't stop the sleigh." Yang said.

"Are you okay?" Blake said.

"We're fine."

"No, my snowman is ruined." Weiss said, with a tsundere expression.

"Chill, Ice Queen. Stop being such an icicle."

"You know, ice puns won't make me less angry."

"Okay then, how about this?". Then Yang threw a snowball at Weiss.

"Nice try, but you won't get me.". Then she got hit by another one.

"How about now?"

"Still not.". She got hit by another one, but it was a strong one, making her faceplant down (oof). She then got up, with a snowball in her hand. "Ah, screw it.". She then threw it at Yang. Luckily she ducked, but Ruby was behind her so she got hit in the face, right after getting the snowman's head off hers. She got angry and instead of a snowball, she threw the snowman's head. Weiss ducked in time, but Blake was behind her, so the snowman's head got stuck on her head, with her cat ears sticking out of it. Blake got angry and threw another snowball and somehow she hit Yang. And then they started a snowball fight. Meanwhile, team JNPR was watching them.

"This looks fun. Hey, let's have a snowball fight too!" Nora said. She then threw a snowball at Jaune. Jaune in return, threw one at her, but she ducked in time. It hit Pyrrha who was behind her.

"Oh no, Pyrrha I'm sorry, are you okay?" Jaune said.

"I'm okay, but you should ask yourself that." Pyrrha said, with a smirk and threw a snowball at him. But he ducked and it hit Ren who was behind him. "Ren, I'm so sorry."

"Oh, it's on." Ren said with a serious face.

"SNOWBALL FIGHT!" Nora shouted and they started the fight. Everyone was having fun. But after a minute they stopped and they looked at each other. They had the same idea. They then threw snowballs at team RWBY. The girls turned around to see who threw them. They all pointed at Jaune. He look at his team with a betrayed face, especially at Pyrrha.

"Even you Pyrrha?!" Jaune said.

"Sorry." she said. Snowballs started raining on him, burying him in the end.

"SNOWBALL WAR!" Nora said and the snowball war started. Nova was watching them from the sidelines.

"HEY!" Nova shouted and everyone looked at him. "Can I join?". The kids looked at each other and started throwing snowballs at him. "Hey, stop it! Give me a minute to prepare! Stop! Okay that's it, ZA WARUDO!". Then time stopped. He got away from the snowball and went behind them. "Time flows again.". Then time started again. They stopped throwing snowballs.

"Where did he go?" Ruby said.

"Over here!". Everyone turned to see Nova with hundreds of snowballs floating around him. With a motion of his hands he threw them up. Everyone was looking up, seeing the snowballs coming at them.

"Oh no."

An hour later, everyone was inside Nova's house, with a blanket on them and a cup of cocoa in their hand. "Man, what a day." Yang said.

"It was amazing. Except for the part we were buried under snow, but it was fun." Ruby said.

"Christmas is the best holiday ever!" Nora said. Meanwhile, Nova was preparing the Switch.

"Alright, who's ready to smash?" Nova said. Then he realised what he just said.

"We are all underage, you know." Yang said.

"Not that kind of smash, I meant that smash." he said, holding the Smash Bros Ultimate box in his hand.

"Yeah, video games are not my thing, no thanks." Weiss said.

"C'mon, play. We want to see how much you suck at them." Yang said.

"Is that how it is? Fine, give me a controller. I'll show you that i don't suck."

"This will be hilarious.". Nova choose the 8 player smash mode.

"Alright, now choose." Nova said.

"Wait, you won't play?" Jaune said.

"Whoever wins, will go against me."

"Aw man, I don't know which one to choose. I want Sonic because he's fast, but also someone with a cool weapon!" Ruby said.

"Oh, take Shulk."

"Okay."

"I will take... Lucina." Weiss said.

"Yeah, she looks normal." Nova said and started laughing. "Get it? Because you look like... anime... characters... I found it good."

"I think I'll choose Joker." Blake said.

"I'll take Ken." Yang said.

"I'll take Link." Jaune said.

"I want to play as a fat character. Fat characters are fun." Nora said.

"Take Dedede." Nova said.

"Okay."

"I think I'll take, uh... Samus." Pyrrha said.

"I'll take Marth." Ren said. Everyone chose their characters and picked the Temple stage.

**3...2...1...GO!**

And the fight started. Half of them went up, and the rest down. On the upper part was Shulk, Samus, Joker and Link. On the lower part was Ken, Dedede, Marth and Lucina. The first one who lost a stock was Samus. She had two left.

"Wait, did I just lose a life? I can't tell what's happening." Pyrrha said. The next one was Dedede. He had two left.

"My character is slow!" Nora said.

"Wow Weiss, you're not that bad." Yang said.

"I can be good at video games if I want to. What do you say now?" Weiss said.

"Shoryuken!". She did a Shoryuken and made Lucina hit the ground above and fall down, losing a stock. She had two left.

"Drat!". The next one was Link, by Joker's counter. He had two stocks left. Joker took a couple of hits by Shulk and he summoned his Persona (STANDO POWAH!).

"Oh no, Blake summoned her stand!" Ruby said.

"Persona." Nova said.

"Oh right.". Then the Smash ball appeared. Everyone went to break it but the one who did was Samus. She did her final smash, blasting Shulk and Joker out of the stage. They had two stocks left.

"Are you ready to lose another life again, Weiss?" Yang said. Ken was about to knock Lucina off the stage, but Lucina countered and because Ken's percentage was above 100%, he fell off the stage. He had two stocks left. "What?!"

"Take that!" Weiss said. But her smile dropped when she fell off the stage by Dedede. She had one stock left. "Aww...". Another Smash ball appeared. This time, Link broke it and did his final smash, knocking Joker and Samus off the stage. They had one stock left. Marth was about to knock Ken off the stage, but he did his down-B and knocked him off the stage. He had two stocks left.

"What's this? The Japanese boy lost a stock? How?" Nova said. Dedede decided to go up, with the others. He instantly knocked Samus off the stage with a side smash. Pyrrha lost. There were 7 characters left.

"Aw, I lost." Pyrrha said. Then another Smash ball appeared. Joker broke it this time. He went to the lower part, Persona summoned and did his final smash, knocking Ken and Marth. They had one stock left. Joker went for Lucina, but she countered and went for a combo, ending it with a side smash. Blake lost. There were 6 left.

"Wow, you lost by Weiss, in a video game. I'm actually surprised." Yang said. Weiss ignored that comment and continued. Link grabbed Dedede and did a combo, ending it with an up-B, sending him off stage. He had one stock left.

"Why do you have to be so good at video games?!" Nora whined. Lucina and Ken were standing, waiting for someone to do a move. Ken moved and Lucina countered, but Ken was doing his down-B, stunning Lucina.

"No!" Weiss said. She got Shoryuken'd and fell off the stage. Weiss lost. There were 5 characters left. "I hate this stupid game!"

"You can't beat me, Ice Queen. I've trained a lot of years in competitive gaming." Yang said. Ken went for Marth but he rolled and trapped her in a combo, sending her away. Ken tried to recover with a Shoryuken, but Marth countered and Ken fell of the stage. Yang lost. There were 4 characters left. "How could I lose?!"

"When Ren is doing something, he wants to be perfect." Nora said.

"You may had experience, but you challenged the Japanese in his turf. We all knew how this would end." Nova said. Then a Smash ball appeared. Shulk broke it and did his final smash on Link, sending him off stage. He had one stock left. Then Shulk activated his shield skill, taking a side smash from Dedede. Then he changed to speed and did a fast combo. Finally, he changed to smash, sending Dedede flying off the stage. Nora lost. There were 3 characters left.

"No, I lost! Whyyyy?!" Nora cried. They were all at the upper part. Link and Shulk were having a one-off and Marth was charging his neutral-B. He released it, hoping to hit Shulk, but he rolled behind Link and he got flying off the stage. He had one stock left. Shulk activated his speed skill and went for a combo, but Marth countered and sent him flying. Luckily he managed to recover. A Smash ball appeared. Marth tried to break it with his side-B, but he got hit by Link's bomb arrow, destroying the ball. Link quickly did his final smash and sent Marth off the stage. Ren lost. There were 2 characters left.

"Nice finish, vomit boy." Yang said.

"Thanks. Now it's you and me Ruby. You have 75% percent and I have 0. I won." Jaune said.

"Don't be so sure." Ruby said. Shulk activated speed and ran at Link.

"Oh boy, she's using her gamer girl powers." Nova said. Link did his up-B, but Shulk jumped and trapped him in a combo. She then switched to smash and charged her side smash. Link rolled away, but the range of the attack was long and he got sent flying off the stage. Jaune lost. Ruby won.

**GAME!**

"I won!" Ruby said and everyone cheered for her.

"Now say an insult."

"Uh... uhh... your... penis is small!". Everyone was like 'OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH'.

"That's my sister!" Yang said, holding her in a hug.

"Alright. Time for the final battle." Nova said. They went back to the character select screen. Ruby picked Shulk. But Nova was going at the Mii fighters. He already had the gunman.

"Sans?!" Nora said.

"What? No.". He switched to the brawler, where he kinda looked like...

"Wait, isn't that, what's his name, Jojo?" Yang said. He looked like Jotaro.

"Uh huh.". They picked the Final Destination stage. "Are you ready to lose?"

"I'm gonna win!" Ruby said.

**3...2...1...GO!**

And the fight started. Brawler did the first attack with his neutral-B, sending him up, trapping him in a combo. He already took 35% percent damage. Shulk recovered quickly and went to the offensive. She activated speed and went to attack. The brawler was rolling around, not giving him a chance to attack. Shulk then used his down smash and managed to land a hit. Then trapped him in a combo ending it with a side smash. Mii managed to recover. He went to the air to attack. Shulk jumped and tried to attack but Mii air dodged and attacked him. They were both rolling around. Mii tricked him by just evading and landed an attack, trapping him a combo ending it with a neutral-B. He chased after Shulk, who activated shield. Instead of doing a smash attack, he just did quick weak attacks. When the effect passed, Mii did a side smash. Shulk rolled behind him, but Mii predicted it and side smash the other way, sending him far. When he tried to reach the stage again, Mii spiked him down, making lose a stock. He had two stocks left.

"Wow, this match is intense!" Nora said.

"I got to admit, you're very good." Nova said.

"Thanks, you're good too." Ruby said.

'You fool.'

A Smash ball appeared. Shulk managed to break it and unleashed his final smash, sending Mii off the stage. He had two stocks left. They continued their fight. The rest of the fight was pretty much the same. They were rolling around and doing combos. They had only one stock left and both of them were over 70%. Then a Smash ball appeared. They both tried to break it. Mii then put his plan into action. He knocked Shulk off the stage and then broke the Smash ball. Shulk activated jump and did his up-B.

"Got you!" Nova said. Then he did his final smash in the air, a few centimetres outside the stage grounds, spiking him down, ending the game right there.

**GAME!**

Everyone screamed from their hype. "Good game. And now for the insult. Uhh... uhh... lose weight?". Everyone shocked from what they heard. Then Ruby got angry and punched him in the face.

"Dude, you don't say stuff like that to a girl!" Yang said.

"I couldn't think of anything else, I'm sorry!".

After that, they spent more time playing more games. Hours later, it was time for them to return to their world.

"Aww, do we have to leave?" Nora said.

"We have to." Weiss said. "Anyway, thank you for letting us experience a holiday like that."

"Yeah, it was the best day of our life!" Ruby said.

"It was really fun." Pyrrha said. "I wish we could celebrate Christmas again."

"Who said that you can't? Same day, next year." Nova said.

"Really? Awesome!" Ruby said.

"Wait, Nova. Can I ask you a favor?" Yang said.

"What is it?" Nova said.

Later that day, on Remnant, on the island of Patch, Nova was going to the Xiao Long house, holding a big box. When he reached the house, he ringed the bell. Then Taiyang opened the door. "Hi, I'm here to give you the box you ordered." Nova said.

"Thank you? That's strange, I don't remember ordering anything. It must have been one of the girls." Taiyang said.

"Yeah, whatever. Sign here, here and here." After that Nova left and Tai took the box inside.

"Boy, it's kinda heavy. I wonder what's in it?"

"SURPRISE!" Chibi Ruby and Chibi Yang shouted, coming out of the box. He couldn't believe what he was seeing and he fainted.

"I told you he would faint." Yang said.

"Uh, how long are we going to be like that?" Ruby said.

"Nova said for about 30 minutes."

"Ah."

"Yep."

(Jojoke count: 6)

* * *

_Bloopers_

"Actually now that I feel it better, it's really warm inside."

"So... you don't like it?" Nova said with a sad face.

"No, it's not that, it's just-"

"You don't like the gift that a god like me has given you?!" he said with a serious face.

"What? No, no, of course not! I-". Before she could finish her sentence, a loud explosion surrounded the area, destroying it. Only Nova was fine and the kids were turned into ashes.

"Disrespectful children."

**And done! That blooper was to show that Nova doesn't play. That was the end of Season one. It will next start at the beginning of Volume 2. Like, follow and review. If you want, also sent a PM. See you soon!**


	47. Announcement

**Hey everyone. I'm back and and I have something to say. I don't take requests anymore, at least until they start reading fanfictions(Oops, spoilers). Actually it won't have a lot of reactions now. Nova is going to blend into the lore of the show and completely change it and many more original stuff, with a hint of memes and references. Before we begin, a small presentation.**

The scene begins with Nova in his house watching a new show. Then he turns and looks at the readers.

"Oh, hello there. I'm Nova. What was I doing now? I was watching a new story I found on DeviantArt. First, I know I said watching and not reading. Second, why was I on DeviantArt? Well, it may have questionable stuff, but there are hidden treasures in there. One of them is a new series called Nova Force and no, not the Nova Corps. It's about a team of nerds fighting demons and aliens with Dragon Ball like fights, memes and offensive humor. The first episode is already in the site. Here's the link: ( www. deviantart nova9k/art/Nova-Force-Episode-1-819800996 without the spaces) I hope you enjoy it. Now on to season 2 of the story "_Nova's adventures in future fairy tale land"._


	48. Dangerous Part 1 (Season 2 beginning)

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 46:**** Dangerous Part 1**

It was a beautiful day on Nova's planet. The sunlight was filtered through the window, hitting his face, waking him up. He got up, full of energy and he opened the curtains to light up his room. He got dressed and went to his breakfast room. It was ike a small café. He got a cappuccino and a croissant and read the news on a newspaper. "Let's see. Hmm... a university student masturbated on a girl's back in the university's library. What the fuck?" he said (it did happen). After that he went to his main living room to check his to do list. "I have nothing to do today. What can I do? I could check my friends in Remnant.". He was about to snap his fingers to teleport, but ue remembered something. "Wait a minute.". He looked at his calendar. "It's October. That means that it's January there. And since they go in a fighting college, that means that it's their exam month. Maybe I shouldn't bother them and leave them to their studies. Now what am I going to do? Hmm... I guess I could go there and have a walk at the town. Oh, maybe I could see how Remnant pussy feels like.". He then ran to his giant ass wardrobe. He look at his suits. The first was a white one, and it's all white, no other colours. The next was a purple suit with a green shirt. Next was a tuxedo. In the end he picked a grey suit with a white shirt. "Perfect." He snapped his fingers and teleported to Remnant.

* * *

The city of Vale is as big and beautiful as New York and full of people (thank you 9/11). They had a peaceful life, without worrying about the Grimm. It was one of the thing that Nova liked about the city. He was hanging out in a café, with a glass of orange juice reading a newspaper. He was there for five minutes and the women, sitting two tables away, were looking at his beautiful face and he knew it. After that he payed and left. The ladies were kinda sad that he left. They tried to pay, but the waitor said that the guy with the purple suit payed for them. "Ahh~!" the ladies said about the dreamy man.

Nova was walking down the streets. But then his 'booty sense' started tingling. "My 'booty sense' is tingling! I feel that a thicc babe is near me.". He then saw her, passing him. It was a cat faunus with brown wavy hair that reached her shoulders, adorable brown cat ears and blue eyes. She was wearing a white t-shirt, red jacket, black pants and black boots. Nova turned around to look at the most important part.

**BGM: Ass like that (by Eminem)**

He was enchanted by her thicc and juicy ass. Her cheeks were jiggling with every step. Nova haven't seen an _ass like that_ since the early 2000's. But she then turned at an alleyway. After a couple of seconds he came back to his senses.

**End of BGM**

"Wow... what an ass. I must follow her. I can't lose such a beauty." He followed her at the alleyway, but before he entered it, he saw that she was surrounded by a couple of dudes. He realised that they were club members, because of the bats on their hands and the mark on their jackets. Their mark was a set of animal ears under a red line on a circle. 'What the hell?' he thought. They were 5 in total and one of them was huge. The 4 others charged to attack her. What was Nova about to see would be awesome. She took them down one by one. She knocked down the first one with a kick to the face. She kicked the two next ones, sending them to the walls, knocking them out. The fourth one was behind her. She turned around, grabbed him by the shoulders and kneed him in the stomach, knocking him out. The first one got up, but she then started attacking him with fast consecutive kicks, knocking him out. The only one left was the big one. 'That was awesome!'. She went fo a kick, but he grabbed her foot like it was nothing. He struggled to escape, but his grab was becoming tighter. Nova started getting worried about her. And with a snap, he broke her leg and she screamed in pain. He through her down. She was holding her broken leg, grunting in pain. She saw him coming towards her, but he stopped when someone yelled at him. "HEY! What's going on?!". They both saw a guy with a grey suit. "What are you doing there?!"

"Get out of here! I'm teaching this animal a lesson!" the big guy said.

"... I don't see it. I only see an adorable girl."

"She's a dirty faunus! Go away now or else I'll kill you too!"

"Oh really? I'd like to see you try.". The big guy got angry and went to punch him. But his fist actually went through and punched the ground, making a hole on it.

"What the-?!"

'An afterimage!?' the girl thought.

"Over here!". He turned around and saw him. "You retard.". He got really pissed and charged at him. The faunus behind him saw something that relly amazing. (slow motion). He threw a punch at Nova, but he avoided it by splitting his legs and punched him in the dick. He kneeled down, holding his groin in pain (he got Cage'd).

"(High-pitched) AHHH! My dick! You punched me in the dick!"

"Holy shit!" the girl behind him said quietly. Nova got a small piece of paper and a marker out of nowhere and wrote 'racist fucktard' on it and stuck to his face. He holded his head by the hair, and was aiming where to send him. In the end he punched him, breaking his face and sending him flying. He landed at the police station, inside a cell. Nova dusted his hands and went to help the girl. "Are you okay?"

"No. My leg is broken. Oww... it will take some time for my aura to heal it."

"No, it's not broken."

"What are you talking about? Of course it-". She suddenly realised that she wasn't feeling pain. She moved her leg and she saw that it wasn't broken. "What the... it's okay!"

"You're welcome.". He helped her get up.

"You did this? How? Is this your semblance?"

"Not exactly. Since we had a conversation for more than 10 seconds, I think I should introduce myself. My name is Nova. Nova Light. What's yours?"

"Oh, it's Fiona. Fiona Marrone."

"Oh, like your hair."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. You have some nice moves."

"Thanks. I graduated from Beacon Academy three years ago."

"Wait... you're a huntress?"

"Uh huh. You have some moves too. And you're very strong. Are you a huntsman?"

"No, but I know a lot of martial arts. If you're a huntress, where are your weapons?"

"You mean these?". She then showed that on her belt had two fans with blades and two pistols and also her heels got removed and showed her pistol boots "See?"

"Isn't a little suspicious that you're carrying your weapons in public?"

"I'm a professional. Anyway, thank you for saving me."

"I wouldn't leave a beautiful girl like you here." That comment made her blush. "Anyway, would you... like to... uhh..."

"Wait... are you asking me on a date?"

"Do I look that desperate?"

"A little, but since you saved me, I could do you that favor."

"Really? Where and when?"

"Meet me at 20:00 in the city centre. I have to go now. See you then.". She then started walking away. 'I'm sorry.'

"See you then, signorina.". He waited her to get out of sight. Then he started jumping in excitement. "YES! YES! HAHAHA!_ I got a date! I got a date! _I feel so happy!"

**BGM: Happy (by Pharrell Williams)**

He walked out of the alleyway, full of joy, without a care in the world. And when Nova is happy, a miracle might happen. First he saw a little boy crying because his ice cream fell. Nova went and gave him another one, with a magic trick. Next he saw a thief that snatched a bag from a lady. Nova made him trip, snatched the bag back and gave it back to the lady. He saw a 'metal man' doing the robot. Nova went next to him and danced with him. After that, he moonwalked out of there and continued. He stopped for a little to dance, because the song was playing in his mind. After that he continued his way to somewhere. He saw a young couple, where the girl was angry at her boyfriend. Nova took a bouquet of roses from a flower shop and payed without being noticed and threw it at the boy, making the girl stop being angry and kissed him. He saw a girl next to tree, trying to get her cat down. Nova jumped and gave the cat back to the girl. He noticed that on the street where a lot of homeless people were sitting there. Then a piece of paper hit his face. He saw that it was a winning lottery ticket and gave it to a hobo. Then the miracles started happening. A blnd guy was in front. Nova waved at him and he waved back. He was shocked. He could see again.

"I can see... I CAN SEE!" he said. Nova saw a guy who had a sign that said 'I can't listen'.

"Good morning." Nova said to the deaf guy.

"Good morning." he said. "Wait... I heard that... I CAN HEAR!". Nova then saw a guy with a sign that said 'I can't speak'.

"How are you?" Nova said.

"My life sucks." he said. "I... I can talk... I CAN TALK! But my life still sucks.". Nova then saw a family, and their daughter was on a wheelchair. Nova went and helped to get up and they both started dancing. He left them, but the girl was still standing.

"I CAN WALK!" she said.

"It's a miracle!" her mother said. Nova started dancing again, but this time there were people behind him dancing as well, some of them were the people that he helped. When the song was about to end, he ran away while the others where still dancing. That was their happiest moment of their lives.

**End of BGM**

* * *

It was around 19:50. Nova was in his mansion, getting prepared for his date. This time, he was wearing a blue suit, with a black shirt underneath. "Well, I have some time before the date. I could say a hello to the kids.". He teleported to Beacon Academy.

Meanwhile, team RWBY was on their desks, studying for another exam.

"This week sucks. Always exams, exams, exams! I can't take it!" Ruby said.

"You know, it would be easier for you if you were studying for the entire semester, like you should do." Weiss said.

"I was!"

"Just reading it once doesn't count as studying."

"If I knew I would study so hard, I would have denied Ozpin's offer and wait to get into the academy normally. I wish we were just training."

"Training isn't the only thing. What would a huntsman be without knowledge?" Blake said.

"I guess you're right. But then again!"

"Just look at your sister. She's studying without any complaints." Weiss said. They saw her looking at the books. "Now that I think about it, that's kinda weird. She didn't say a single word."

"Who?" a voice said, surprising the three girls.

"Hey Nova, long time no see." Ruby said.

"Hey girls. What are you doing?"

"We were studying. But know we are wondering why Yang is so quiet. Is she even awake?" Weiss said. Blake leaned to see if she was awake.

"Well, her eyes are open." Blake said.

"They're painted." Ruby said.

"What?"

"She's sleeping. She painted her eyelids. It's not the first time."

"She's sleeping?! Unbelievable!" Weiss said.

"Oh, that's a classic trick. You know what's also classic? This." Nova said and pulled the chair on which Yang was, making her fall and hit her face on the desk. After that she woke up. Everyone else were holding their laughter.

"I'm awake! I'm not sleeping! Huh?" Yang said. She saw everyone laughing. "What happened?"

"You got busted."

"I'm so disappointed of you." Weiss said.

"How did you manage to paint your eyelids so perfectly? I can't tell the difference." Blake said.

"Experience. Oh hey Nova, why are you dressed like that?"

"Oh, I have a date tonight." Nova said.

"She doesn't have a crime record this time, right?" Weiss said.

"Nope. Actually, I don't know. I met her today in Vale."

"Wait, you were here this morning? And you didn't tell us?" Ruby said.

"Yeah, I actually wanted to visit you this morning but I didn't want to bother you while studying."

"Oh, how is she?" Yang said.

"Oh, she's beautiful, Italian, a huntress, has adorable cat ears and she's sweet as chocolate!". 'She also has a big ass.'

"She's a faunus?" Blake said.

"Yeah, 100% cuter!". 'And hotter'. "Anyway, got to go now. Wish me luck!"

"Good luck!" the girls said and he left.

"Alright, now back to work." Weiss said.

"Awww..." the sisters said.

"And no whining!"

* * *

It was now 20:00. Fiona was waiting for her date. 'Please don't come, I don't want to do this.' she thought. But he came. "Hey, you came."

"Right on time. Anyway, what would you like to do? Eat, walk around, watch a movie, dance, sing? Anything you want."

"Oh. I was expecting that we would go for a dinner, but I'm not that hungry."

"Oh, then we could sit somewhere and chat."

'Say no. Say no!'. "Okay.". 'Damnit!'

"Good! Let's go."

'I'm sorry! I'm not a bad person! I don't want to do this!'

They decided to hang out at a fancy bar. "Well, what would you like to talk about?" Nova said.

"I would like to know how did you manage to beat that big guy without any difficulty? You said that you are not a huntsman."

"I travelled a lot, learned a lot and trained a lot. I mean if we fought, you would lose already."

"So you went to college?"

"A university, it's better. I'm an agriculturist."

"Wow, that's interesting."

"I know. Tell me about you. How was your life in Beacon?"

"It was fun. Training, studying, killing Grimm. Me and the rest of my team are the best friends. We... even have a pop band.". 'Stop bonding with him, you only make it worse!'

"A pop band? Really? Something tells me that you didn't want to be a huntress."

"No, I always wanted to be a popstar. And now maybe that may come true."

"That's sweet. You know, you showed me your weapons, but you never told me your semblance."

"I can control the wind."

"Really, like an airbender?"

"An airbender? Sure, you can call it like that. Do you have any siblings?"

"A lot. What about you?"

"I have an older sister."

"Is she a huntress too?"

"It's... not exactly.". An hour later, they were walking in the city.

"What do you want to do now? The night's still young."

"I don't know, but I don't want to do something boring."

"I would say to go dancing, but I don't know if you can keep up with me."

"Oh, really? I think that you can't keep up."

"Okay then. Let's go, but let me inform you, I'm a disco guy."

"Wait, you like disco? How old are you?"

"26. Why? You don't like it?". 'You millennials don't know anything about music.' (Ok boomer)

* * *

They found a night club and they were on the stage, dancing. Nova liked the playlist, but it wasn't his style. He went and gave to the DJ his playlist. "No matter what, don't stop playing them.". The DJ played the disc and the place turned into an 80's disco.

**BGM: Beat it (by Michael Jackson)**

"Now they party is starting!". He already started showing off. "How do you like that?"

"Let me think." Fiona said and then started showing her moves. "How was that?"

"It's okay." Nova said, with a cocky smile. Everyone was having fun. But in the middle of the song, some bikers showed up. Without being noticed, they approached the owner.

"Hey, do you have the money? Protection isn't free you know." the leader said.

"I don't have the money! I'll have it by tomorrow!" the owner said.

"I want my money now, asshole! Or else we will wreck your place."

"Please don't! I'll bring you the money, just wait until tomorrow!"

"Boys, let's destroy the place!"

"YEAH!" the gang yelled and started breaking everything. Everyone else was scared. Except for Nova and Fiona. Nova without any warning, punched a biker and knocked him out.

"Stop right now, while you can still walk!" Nova said.

"You dare to attack my guys? Now you're dead!" the leader said. He pulled out a shotgun and shot fire dust rounds. Nova swiped it like it wasn't even shit and broke his face. A biker tried to attack from behind but Fiona kicked him, sending him to the wall. It was at the guitar solo part of the song, and they were beating the crap out of the bikers, and they were doing it in rhythm. They beat them all up. Nova threw them out and they returned at the stage.

"Now that that's over, let's dance!" Nova said and did the choreography, along with Fiona who was following. Then everyone started following. That was a night that Fiona would never forget, unfortunately.

**End of BGM**

They were dancing for hours. After that they were going to Fiona's home.

'This is it. I don't want to do this.' she thought.

**BGM: Roundabout (by Yes)**

"Uh, Nova?"

"What is it?"

"I want to tell you something."

"Okay, I'm listening."

"Not here. I don't anyone to here."

"Oh, secret. I get it."

"Follow me.". Fiona took Nova to a dark alleyway.

"Okay, we are in a dark alleyway. Wait, do you want to do it here? I mean it's the first date, but if you... Fiona? Fiona, where are you?". He then heard something that shocked him. It sounded like someone was pointing a gun behind him, and the finger was ready to pull the trigger.

"I'm sorry."

_TO BE CONTINUED..._

* * *

**And done! The first part of something original. For anyone that don't know, marrone means brown in Italian. Also, did you got that DBZ reference? Like, follow and review. If you want, sent a PM. See you soon!**


	49. Dangerous Part 2

**Hey everyone, before this chapter begins I want to tell you something. Come closer. Come on, come closer. You can trust me, I won't bite you. You're here? Okay. ****STOP SENDING ME REQUESTS!**** There won't be any reaction chapters until the Breach. So stop asking. Thank you for your time.**

* * *

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 47:**** Dangerous Part 2**

"Fiona... what are you doing?" Nova said. Right now was aiming at his head.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this." Fiona said.

"But... but why?"

"I didn't have any choice. It was either my family or someone else.". Nova could hear her crying.

"Your family? Fiona please, say what's wrong. Is someone blackmailing you or something? I'll protect you!"

"I already said too much."

"Fiona, please tell-". Before he could say anything else, Fiona pulled the trigger and made a hole in head. She saw him falling down dead. She couldn't believe it. She shot him.

"Oh no... what have I done?". She fell on her knees and started crying. "Why did this happen to me?!". She kept crying until she heard someone coming.

"Good job, Fiona. You did it." the stranger said. She turned around to see a man, wearing a hooded robe. He pulled down his hood to reveal himself. He had dark skin and he looked like he had the same age with Fiona.

"There, you saw it, I did it! Are you happy?! I killed someone! Now can I leave this stupid cult?! I don't want to see your faces ever again!"

"Of course, that was the deal. But..."

"Huh?"

"You know a lot about us. My father sent me here to kill you so you won't say anything."

"W-what?!". He pulled out a pistol and shot at her knees. The bullets penetrated her aura and she started screaming in pain and bleeding like crazy. "AHHH! MY LEGS! How could you do this?! We knew each other since Beacon!"

"I know, but family comes first.". He aimed at her head, ready to pull the trigger.

"Do it! Just kill me! After what I've done, I deserve it! I don't deserve someone like him, I don't deserve to live!" she cried. He was about to shoot, until his head exploded, by a white laser. "What?". She turned around and saw Nova, alive, with the hole on his head slowly healing and his hand like a pistol.

"Don't you ever say that again." Nova said.

"But... this... but I shot you! How are you still alive?!". She was completely terrified. She saw him coming closer. She closed her eyes and waited for the worst, but it never happened. She suddenly stopped feeling pain. She opened her eyes and saw her knees healed. She was really confused. She got up to thank him. "Nova... I-". She immediately received a slap. She saw his face and it was angry.

"Don't you ever say that again. That you don't deserve to live. I don't want to hear you say that again. Got it?".

"N... Nova...". She ran and hugged him and cried on his chest. He let her release everything she was holding. After crying for 5 minutes she remembered that she shot him and started speaking. "But... how are you still alive? I made a hole in your head."

"Well..."

"And this can't be a semblance. Who are you?"

"I didn't want to tell you this now, but... I'm not from here."

"Uhh... I don't understand."

"Not from this world."

"What?"

"Fiona... I'm a god from another dimension."

"...huh?"

"I know, it is difficult to believe me."

"A lot. A god?"

"You want proof? Squeeze your boobs."

"What?!"

"Do it.". She squeezed her boobs and they made a squeaky sound. She did it again just to make sure she heard it and she heard again.

"Did my chest just made a squeaky sound? How?!"

"I told you, I am a god."

"I can't believe it. I need to relax a bit and process all this new information."

"Before that, can you tell me who that was? Please."

"It was an old friend of mine. A month ago he told me about an organisation and that it was fun and he asked me to join. I was kinda curious and I accepted his offer. The first week was fun, until I learned what was actually happened. It turned out that it was a cult. When I saw all the horrific things and sacrifices, I wanted to leave, but to do that, I needed to sacrifice someone. And they threatened me that if I didn't... they would kill my family.". Nova was shocked when he heard that. He then replaced his shocked expression with a deadly serious face. (Like Fist of the North Star serious) "That's how it happened. The guy who you killed is the son of the leader."

"Where is it?"

"Huh? What?"

"The location of the cult."

"What? Don't tell me that..."

"I will go and destroy it."

"What? Why?"

"So that no more people will die. Besides, a cult that probably not a lot of people know. It's obviously a fake religion. And I hate fake religions. You know what, you don't need to tell me, I already read your mind."

"What? You can do that?"

"Yeah. Also I want to tell you one more thing."

"What is it?". She then received a strong punch to the face. She screamed in pain. Her face looked awful, bleeding, broken nose and teeth.

"That's for shooting me."

"I guehh I thetherfe thath (I guess I deserve that)... oww..."

"Don't worry. When you walk out of the alley, your face will look beautiful again. Now go home. I'll see you then.". Then he left to go at the cult's base.

"...Okhay.". She then spat a broken tooth. "Oh, a thooth.". Then she fell down, unconscious.

_We will return after these messages._

* * *

Dear readers, before Nova goes and commit massive genocide, I would like to talk to you about a show called Nova Force. It's a brand new series about four nerds with divine powers, fighting demons and aliens. The show contains a lot of action, Dragon Ball kind of fight and memes. The second episode is released. Here's the link: www. deviantart nova9k . You can fix the link.

_Now back to the story_

* * *

Later, Nova reached the place. He went inside and saw that he was in an old store. He saw the shop clerk and he remembered that when he read Fiona's mind, he is also a member, so he approached him.

"What can I do for you? Be quick, because we'll close soon."

"Open the entrance."

"What?"

"I said, open the entrance.". He said with a way, that he was hypnotizing him. The shop clerk opened the hidden entrance. "Thank you.". After that he punched so hard his head exploded. "Oh wait, I'm wearing the wrong costume.". He snapped his fingers and his costume change to the complete white one. "That's better.". He then walked down the stairs of the entrance. (I'm not putting background music for that, it's too disturbing). He saw some members, all wearing robes.

"Hey you! Don't come closer!" one of them said. Nova ignored them and went closer. The cult members pulled out their guns and melee weapons and got ready to fight. One of them rushed to attack, but suddenly his torso blew up in a gory explosion. The other mebmers went too, but they had the same fate. Nova was seeing standing, but he was actually punching them really fast. More of them came, or more like the rest of them. There were more than a hundred members. They saw all this massacre, which scared them, but they rushed at him.

Meanwhile, at a different room, the leader of the cult was hearing a lot of screaming. He ran to investigate and saw all of his members dead. Body parts, internal organs, blood scattered all over the place. And a man with a white suit and fists covered in blood. Nova looked at him with a stone cold expression (insert menacing kanji). "Who... who are you?! What did you do?!" he said.

"Are you the leader of this cult?" Nova said.

"I am and you have one minute to explain yourself before I kill you!"

"Kill me?". Nova then started laughing. "That's funny. I want to talk to you.". He walked towards him and the leader backed up. "You see, I was in a date with a girl and she tried to kill because she wanted to leave your cult and you threatened to kill her family. Is that right?"

"You mean F-Fiona?"

"Yes. I don't like that stuff. Killing in the name of god. I can understand a sheep sacrifice, but only that. My Father created life so he can watch it grow, not die. I made a promise that I protect life no matter what, after WW2. I know I'm not from this world but I don't care.". The leader was confused by that. "*sigh* Why am I even talking?". He punched him, sending him crash to a wall.

"That power... is unbelievable! I don't care who you are or how how strong you are. You don't stand a chance against me.". His hood was down, revealing his face. He had dark skin and white hair.

"What are you gonna do? Reset the universe?"

"What?"

"Nothing, I'm saying my own things.". 'Damn, he looks like Pucci.'. "Before I brutally murder you, I want to know. What kind of religion you came up with to make all these low-lives believe? I'm curious."

"Came up? Oh, you are mistaken. This isn't fake. I don't know if it's real but it's a legend. Let me explain. A long time ago, there was a man and a woman that had the power the power to do magic. Some say that the woman existed even before the two brothers, the original gods, erase humanity and abandon Remnant. But one day, she got angry and killed the man. No one found out what happened to her, but I believe that she's still alive after all those years. If she really didn't get erased, that must mean that she's immortal. I'm pretty sure that even when the giant beam of light months ago didn't destoy her! That's why I created this religion. A woman like her should be praised. All hail Salem, the queen of the Grimm!". Nova heard a lot of things in his life. But he never heard something like that before.

"Well this is new... wait... beam of light?"

"Yes, the one that created a massive crater. That crater was once the place where one of the two brothers, the god of Darkness lived, where the Grimm are or were being born. 8'm sure that she's alive!". Then Nova started laughing. His laughter became a little mad. "What's so funny?"

"I don't know if what you're saying is true or not, but if it's true, if she exists, if I destroyed her front lawn so easily, I will have no problem defeating her."

"Wait... you? It was you?!"

"You figured it out Sherlock. I got my answers, now it's time to kill you." He threw a punch at him, but it went through him. And it wasn't an afterimage. He slowly got up. "What?"

"I told you that you don't stand a chance against me.". Nova's fist phased through him. He walked slowly in front of him. "You fool, my semblance helps me phase through everything, including even living beings. You surely are stronger and faster but how useful is speed and strength when you're fighting someone that it's impossible to touch? Hahahahahaha!". He then pulled out a katana and stabbed Nova in his heart. "It's over."

"Can you... tell me your name?"

"What?"

"What's your name?"

"Edward. Wait, why are you still alive?"

"I don't know, I just wanted to know your name.". Nova pulled the sword out of his body like it was nothing.

"What?! That's impossible! You should be dead!"

"You have no idea, who you're dealing with."

'I don't understand! How is he still alive?! I probably made him more angry! It's okay, as long as I use my sem-'. Before he could finish his thought, Nova gave him a strong punch to the face. (Prepare for a scene recreation.)

**BGM: Stardust Crusaders - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure**

'What?! That's impossible! I had my semblance activated! How did he touch me?!'. Edward thought as he got up.

"Your next line will be _Just who are you?!_, isn't it?"

"Just who are you?! Gah!"

"Hehe, gotcha.". Nova ran at grabbed him by the throat and strangled him a little.

"How... how can you touch me?!"

"Fuck you, that how!". He prepared his fist and started punching him, screaming ORA like the Jojotard he is.(expect a lot of moments like this) "YOUR GODDESS CAN SUCK MY DICK!". He gave a final punch that blew up his head, sending him up, crashing through the roof and high up in the air. "Fucking Pucci looking-ass motherfucker, give me a break."

**End of BGM**

He went oustide and decided to make a call.

_"911, what's your emergency?" _(I suppose that's their emergency number)

"Yes, I would to like to make a report about a cult that made human sacrifices. I want you to send the police at 12 Black St. And don't worry, they're all dead."

_"... Is this a prank?"_

"Do you want me to send you a picture?"

_"Fine, we'll send police cars at your location, right now."_

"Thank you. I should go and see Fiona."

* * *

Later she reached her house, thanks to Fiona's memories. He knocked on the door, and he was greeted by a woman. She was Fiona's mother.

"Can I help you?" she said.

"Is Fiona here?"

"Yes, she is. Oh, you must be her date! Please, come inside. She told me everything about you. And the cult. How you saved her twice, how you made her have the best night of her life. I'm so glad that she has a nice boy like you protecting her."

"Thanks. But she didn't tell me about having such a beautiful woman for her mother.". He then took and kissed her hand, like a true gentleman.

"Oh, you're such a gentleman! She's in her room. It's upstairs."

"Thank you.". He reached her door and knocked it, but he decided to screw around first. "_Honey?_"

"What is it mom?" Fiona said. Nova was holding his laughter.

"_Open the door, sweetie._". She opened the door and she saw Nova.

"Nova!". She instantly hugged, knowing that he was okay. "Wait, where's mom?"

"_Downstairs. _Hahahaha!".

"You can also change your voice? Is there anything that you can't do?"

"Predict the future, resurrect the dead, time travel and be gay.". They went inside her room and talked about what happened.

"So, it's over? The cult is over?"

"Yes, it's totally over. But, when the news show the place later, please don't freak out."

"Is it disturbing?"

"Like a heavy metal band."

"Listen Nova, thank you. For everything. Even though we know each other for a day, you did so much for me. I don't know what to say."

"Does that mean that you want to go out with me?"

"I'd love too."

"Really? That's great! Oh, I almost forgot. Tomorrow, I'm doing a Halloween party. Would you like to come?"

"Sure, but what is Halloween?"

"I'll explain that later. Here's your costume. See you later." He gave her the costume, which he took out of nowhere and left. "Bye mrs Marrone."

"Bye Nova. Don't you want to sit here?" she said.

"I'm sorry, but I can't. See you later!". She then went upstairs to see her daughter. She never saw her that happy since her graduation.

"You seem very happy dear."

"I know. It's been only one day, but... I think I'm in love."

"Love at first sight! How romantic! What is that costume?"

"He gave it to me probably for a costume party tomorrow."

"Ooooh, can I see it?"

"Sure!". She opened the bag and saw the costume. They were both kinda shocked. It was a Catwoman suit, real leather and it had a whip. "Uhh..."

"He's... into some wild things."

"Mom!"

"At least he didn't meet your sister. I don't what she would have done to him."

"Or he."

_(Jojo references: 11)_

* * *

**And done! The next chapter is probably going to be short. Also, Star Platinum is done. Three more to go. Like, follow and review. Also sent a PM. But no requests! See you soon!**


	50. Meet the sister

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 48:**** Meet the sister**

It's been one week since Nova and Fiona started dating. He told her more about him, his world and Earth. He took her to the most beautiful places on Earth, like Paris, London, New York, Hawaii, Madrid, Tokyo, Athens and Rome. He even thought of making a tour around Italy. Naples, Venezia, Milano. It was the experience she had. In Japan, she was surprised when she saw how famous "faunus" were. Some people when they saw her, they wanted to touch her ears (who wouldn't). After the vacation on Earth, Nova showed her his house. When she entered the endless hall, see saw a red door but it had a sign that said "Closed".

"Uhh, what is that room? _The fun room?_" Fiona said.

"Oh... it's... uhh..." Nova said.

"Tell me."

"It was a strip club."

"Strip club?!"

"I lived for a trillion years! What else could I do?!"

"Please, don't say your age, it's weird hearing it."

"I'm sorry, but that's the truth. But I always close it when I'm in a serious relationship."

"Can I ask you something. Do you have kids?"

"A lot. I gave each one its own universe."

"So does that makes me their "mom" or something?"

"Kinda. Also grandma. And great grandma. And great great grand-"

"OK, I get it! Jeez, I'm already a nanny at a young age. This can't get more weird."

"Don't, worry _grandma_, let's do something that will make you feel young again."

"Shut up, gramps."

"Touché.". After hours of playing video games and partying she stayed for the night.

* * *

The next day, she returned to her home. Her mother wanted Nova to stay for dinner and of course, he accepted.

"And that's when we went to Athens. Here we are in Venezia. And here in Milano.". Fiona started showing her pictures from her vacation.

"Wow, all those places look so wonderful!" her mother said.

"You have no idea how much money I spent." Nova said.

"A lot, since you sent me big boxes full of clothes. You always had an addiction in clothes."

"It's not an addiction!" Fiona said.

"But I have a question. What are these places? They don't exist on Remnant."

"Uhh..."

"It's my semblance." Nova said.

"What?"

"Your semblance?" Mrs Marrone said.

"Yes. I have the power of imagination. I can make my thoughts reality. I took her to another world."

"That's amazing!". Fiona sighed in relief, because if she found out that he was a god, she wouldn't know how she would react. Suddenly the heard the doorbell. "Oh, I forgot about it!"

"Who is it?" Fiona said.

"I invited your team for dinner."

"You invited the girls?". She opened the door and three faunus girls came in.

"Hi Mrs Marrone!" the girls said. The first had long red hair and blue eyes. The second had short dark blue hair, green eyes and dark blue hawk wings on her back. The last one had blonde hair, red eyes and blonde cat ears. (I can't think of their outfits, use your imagination)

"Hello girls, come in!" Mrs Marrone said.

"Girls!" Fiona said.

"Fiona!" the girls said. They came closer for a group hug.

"I'll leave you kids alone. Have fun!" Mrs Marrone said.

"Oh, I didn't tell you! Girls, this my boyfriend, Nova. Nova, these are my teammates. That's Rita."

"Hey." the red haired one said. (Full name: Rita Suarez)

"This is Alice."

"It's nice to meet you." the one with the wings said. (Full name: Alice Bell)

"And the happy face is Lillie."

"Hi!((O ω U)~ )" the blonde said. (Full name: Lillie Richards)

"Hello, girls. It's so great to meet you finally." Nova said.

"For us too. But if you make her sad, you're going to get these stabbing your throat." Rita said, threatening him by showing her sharp teeth.

"Wow, tiger teeth! That's so sick! How do you brush them, without destroying your toothbrush? And your wings! They're so awesome! And your kawaii cat smile!" he said, complementing the girls, making them blush a little. "Wait... Fiona, Rita, Alice, Lillie. So you're team... FRAL(Feral)? Oh, the irony. How much did you got bullied just for your team name?"

"Don't remind me of that. Only for beginning of the first year."

"How long you two know each other?" Lillie asked.

"For a week and a day." Fiona asked.

"How did you meet?"

"I saved her from an anti-faunus fanatic by beating the living shit out of him and fixed her broken leg." Nova said.

"Really? How did you fixed her leg? With your semblance?" Alice said.

"Yeah. I'm basically "god" with it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Am I right?"

"Hehehe, yeah..." Fiona said.

"So, what are your semblances?"

"Thunder." Rita said.

"You mean lightning or sound?"

"Sound."

"I can stop time for one minute." Alice said.

"So your power is The World." Nova said.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"I have special eyes. They're like hi-tech goggles. I can change to normal view to thermal, enhanced eyesight, night vision, meat vision-" Lillie said.

"What?"

"I also have x-ray.(dark tone) I've seen a lot of things. Some things that cannot be forgotten.". Everyone was looking at her like 'wtf?'. "Anyway, how it was your first date?"

"Oh, it was awesome! We talked, we danced! It was great!"

"Sounds like you had a good night." Rita said.

"Then she shot me, a guy shot her knees, I blew his head up, healed her knees and destroyed a secret cult."

"...huh?" the girls said.

"Oh... I think it's time to make a confession." Fiona said.

* * *

_ONE EXPLANATION LATER_

"And that's how it all went.". Fiona explained to her team about joining a cult, what she had to do to leave and how Nova committed mass genocide.

"Okay, one more time. Anthony talked you about a cool community. It turned out to be a dark secret cult. That made sacrifices. And the only way to leave was to sacrifice someone." Lillie said.

"Uh huh."

"You found Nova as your target. You shot him but it wasn't a killing shot and Anthony came to kill you. Nova blew his head up and killed every single member of the cult, saving you."

"Yes."

"So the incident that was on the news was his doing." Alice said.

"Yes.". Her friends didn't know what to say. Their expressions had a mix of shock and disappointment.

"And you didn't tell us anything? We could help you!" Lillie said.

"I know, I'm sorry! I just... I didn't know what to do. What would happen if they found out that you know? I didn't want to put your lives in danger because of me. What leader and friend would I be?"

"C'mon. We're huntresses. Isn't that our job? I think we would be okay." Rita said to make her less sad. Then they did another team hug. Meanwhile Nova in the corner was crying.

"(crying) THIS IS SO EMOTIONAL!" Nova cried.

"You ruined the moment." Fiona said, but now she wasn't sad.

"Also, how are you still dating him? He killed like a hundred of people!" Rita said.

"I don't know, but for some reason, I don't feel that shocked."

"That's weird." Lillie said. "Can you show us what else did you do together?"

"Sure.". She started showing them pictures from her vacation.

"Those places look amazing!" Alice said.

"But I've never seen them on Remnant. And I know it. I traveled a lot." Rita said.

"I used my semblance to go to another world." Nova said.

"Really? What else can you do?" Lillie said.

"Almost everything! I can make my thoughts reality, except time travel, resurrect the dead, predict the future and be gay."

"...You hate gays?" Rita said.

"I don't hate gay people. I hate fags. There's a big difference."

"So if I and Alice started kissing in front of you, you would hate us?"

"Rita!" Alice said.

"Wait, you two are gay?" Nova said.

"Is that a problem?" Rita said.

"If you act as a normal everyday person and not as a clown that goes naked at parades with a rainbow flag up his asshole, then you're fine."

"Oh. Wait what?"

"Wait... You posted the pictures on your profile?" Lillie said.

"Yeah, why?" Fiona said.

"You realise that your sister will see them, right?"

"What?! Oh no..."

"Is that a problem?" Nova asked.

"Well... she-". She got interrupted when someone broke through the window. Everyone took a fighting stance and drew their weapons. Rita's were two silver gauntlets that had two big blades each. Alice had a blue sword and Lillie pulled two big machine guns. They took a better look at the intruder. The intruder was wearing a dark hooded outfit. The emblem on her back had an red animal head with red claw marks.

"Hey... isn't that..." Nova said. Fiona already knew who that was. She turned around and they saw her white mask with red markings. She took off her hood and the mask. She had brown hair and cat ears and brown eyes.

"Fiona!" she said.

"Sis?!" Fiona said.

"Sis?!" Nova said.

"How could you do this?! You're dating a human?!" she said.

"Okay, what's going on?! I'm really confused!"

"Nova... this is my sister Scarlet. And she's also... a high ranked White Fang member." Fiona said.

"...HUH?!"

"What is that noise?! Scarlet?!" Mrs Marrone when she came to see what was that noise.

"Mother, stay back! I asked you a question, Fiona!" Scarlet said.

"It's my life and I do whatever I want! You don't have to tell who to date! Just because he's a human, doesn't mean he'll treat me like an animal!" Fiona said.

"Have you forgotten what they did to father? Or mom?! You're just going to let that slide?!"

"I think I missed a lot of episodes." Nova said.

"Nova... my dad was killed. And my mom..." Fiona said.

"It's okay. They left me a scar." Mrs Marrone said. She then turned around and lifted her shirt. Nova didn't know what to say. Her back wasn't just scarred, but it was a message: _Human's best bitch_. The guy who did it, probably didn't realise that she was part cat and not dog, but still. It was really painful. "It would have been worse, if a huntsman didn't pass by and save me."

"And all that because of you humans! I'll never forgive you!" Scarlet said.

"... Look. I know what happened was painful and that guy should burn in hell, but just because a human did this, doesn't mean that all of them are like that." Nova said.

"Shut up! I won't let trash like you hurt my family, or any other faunus!". She then threw at him something, tied by a chain, wrapping him.

"Hey, are these the Blades of Rage from God of WaAAAA-!". He got thrown from the window, on the streets. Scarlet jumped out and pulled another blade. Nova got up and got ready to fight her. "Okay. This is your last chance to leave."

"Nova! Please, don't kill her!" Fiona said.

"Okay. But can I cripple her?"

"No!"

"Not even a limp?"

"NO!"

"Okaaay. But she will leave embarrassed.". Scarlet's blades turned into machine guns and she started shooting Nova. Everyone around already left the area. Nova avoided all of them, even swiping some of them away. She charged at him with her blades and started swiping her swords to slice him. He avoided those too, making her more angry.

"Stay in one plese, will you?!"

"Start fighting, okay?!". Tired of just avoiding, he punched her in the face, making her go back. She charged again, but he made her trip and punched her again in the face, making her fall down. She tried to get up but he punched her again, not giving her a chance.

"AHHHH! STOP HITTING MY FACE!"

"No!"

"I can't believe it. He's just playing with her. How strong is he?" Alice said, watching the fight.

"Okay. You asked for it." Scarlet said. She got up and she splitted into three.

"What?". The other two started attacking him and he kept avoiding them.

"It's my semblance. I can make perfect clones of myself.". Then she splitted into half. She ran into battle. He jumped back for space, but a clone went behind him and cut his back, leaving a big bloody cut. "Now, to end this quickly.". She splitted into three again and all of them surrounded him. They started swinging their blades really fast, like propellers. The kept coming closer.

"Okay, I have to admit. That's kinda cool."

"Thanks. Any last words?"

"Only two. THE WORLD!"

"Huh?". In an instant, he disappeared and suddenly the clones blew up. "What?! What happened?!"

"I stopped time.". He was behind her. She got surprised and jumped back.

"He stopped time?!" Lillie said.

"What else can he do?" Alice said.

"Your next line will be _Who are you?!_, isn't it?" Nova said.

"Who are you?! HUH?!" Scarlet said, completely shocked. "How did you know that?!"

"That's what they all say. I'm just a guy who doesn't like terrorists."

"Grrrr! TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!". She threw her blade again, but Nova caught it.

"No."

**BGM: That song from Spongebob when Patrick started beating himself up. I don't know the name**

He pulled the chain, along with her and punched her, sending her back. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. At this point, her aura was shattered and her face looked awful. He came closer and tried to have fun.

"Come on. Try me!" Scarlet said dizzily.

"No. I will beat you without touching you."

"Why you-!". The she got hit in the face. But it wasn't Nova. "What?". She got hit again. "(dizzy)What is happening?". She got hit again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Her face looked cartoony and funny at this point from so many hits. Even Lillie was laughing in the background. She got lifted in the air and was spinning. She got slammed down. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Nova was just standing there. Then her blades floated. Then a force started spinning her really fast. "AAAAAHHHH MAKE IT STOOOOOP!".

"Okay.". She stopped spinning but she was sent flying somewhere away, screaming. "I wish someone was recording that."

**End of BGM**

"I did!" Lillie said.

"Where did you sent her?" Fiona said.

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere in the city, two guys were putting a poster on a billboard. "And done." one of them said.

"Great." the other said, but he wasn't happy.

"What's wrong?"

"Nowadays, commercial are stupid and not entertaining. Just look! We put a poster of a fucking donkey, showing his ass! What would that be advertising?!"

"I don't know. A kids movie?"

"All I say is that they're stupid and not fun.". Then something ruined the billboard. It was Scarlet, withe her head stuck at the position of the donkey's ass, with anime swirly eyes. "I take it back. This is hilarious.". Then they started laughing and took photos.

"Okay, now let's help her." They went to get her out, but then they saw her outfit.

"Ahh... ahhh...AHHH! WHITE FANG!". They tried to get down quickly, almost falling over.

* * *

_Back to Nova_

"It's all over now." Nova said.

"That was very cartoony! How did you do this?" Lillie said.

"My semblance. I have the power of imagination. And no one has bigger imagination than me."

"At least she's still alive." Rita said.

"Oh, Mrs Marrone. Can you show us your scar again?"

"Nova!" Fiona said.

"What? Just one more time"

"Okay, but I don't like showing it." she said. She showed her back again but this time there was a twist.

"The scar... it's not there! It disappeared!" Alice said.

"This is all I can do." Nova said.

"Nova...". She didn't know what to say. She couldn't hold herself and hugged him. "Thank you.". She was about to cry.

"Now I know why you're still dating him." Rita said.

"Nova... since the day we met, you didn't stop doing miracles." Fiona said.

"I know... it's weird. I never did so many. Can I get a kiss?" Nova said.

"Sure.". Then they kissed. Her mother was like 'Aww'. But the kissing got more intense. They didn't stop.

"Get a room." Rita said.

"Look who's talking." Lillie said.

"You're right.". She grabbed Alice and started kissing too.

"Why am I still single?"

_(JoJo references: 13)_

* * *

**And done! Kinda intense. Like, follow, review and sent a PM. Also read the Nova Force! The third episode is out! See you soon!**


	51. Divine Justice

**Hey everyone. This is the last chapter until we get to the reactions again. But no requests. When I want to see the reviews, I want to see comments, not requests. So stop. Also I don't remember how the episode goes so don't start throwing rocks at me. Enjoy.**

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 49: Divine Justice**

It was a normal day. Nova was in his home playing DDR on "Super Duper Ultra Happy Feet Wombo Combo Hardcore Funky mode", breaking his record. Again. After that, he took a relaxing bath, got dressed (like Scarce) and checked his schedule. "Let's see... surprise kids at school and surprise girlfriend. Oh yeah, I haven't seen the kids in a while. This will be a great day. But first I should go see Fiona.". He snapped his fingers and disappeared. He appeared right in front of a fast food restaurant, where Fiona works. He entered and searched for her. There was a line at the cash register but he could see her brown hair and cat ears. When the line ended, surprisingly he saw that it wasn't Fiona, but a man. A probably very gay man. "Uh, excuse me. Does a woman called Fiona work here?"

"Fiona? Yeah, she does but she didn't come today." he said.

"Oh, okay. I guess I will come another time."

"I'll be waiting for you, handsome.". Nova stopped for a moment and turned around to see the guy wink at him. He exited the restaurant, shivering in disgust.

"Oh, I can stand _things_ like that. Anyway, I should call her.". He called her number but didn't got an answer. "Oh. Maybe she can't answer it. I'll visit her later. Now I should go to the kids.". But in the other side of the line, Fiona couldn't answer, because she was unconscious, in an alleyway, while two White Fang soldiers were dragging her to a black van. (Oh boy)

* * *

Back to Nova, he was outside Beacon Academy, somehow without being noticed. "I've got to admit, the building is amazing.". Suddenly he saw something flying out from the academy, at high speeds. "What the hell?". He took a closer look at that something. "Is that... Yang?". He snapped his fingers and appeared in the sky, meters over her. "FREEZE!".

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH-...huh? Did I stop?" Yang said. She was in midair, right in front of Nova. "Oh, hey Nova."

"Hey, how's my Super Saiyan rip-off doing?"

"I'm good."

"So... what's going on down there?"

"We're having a food fight."

"And you're flying because?"

"Nora hit me with a watermelon hammer."

"Ah. Nice way to start the semester."

"Yeah, so can you like help me get down?"

"No, I'm just going to let you continue to fly."

"What?"

"Have a nice landing."

"No no no, WAIT!". Then Nova let her continue to fly up.

"I should go see the food fight.". He went to a small window to see the fight. This was the first time to see them in action. And he wasn't disappointed of what he saw. "Wow, look at them go! For their level it's kinda impressive! Look how they're using food! Come on! Yes! Hit her! No! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! Come on! Cyclone! Do a cyclone! Damnit, use some imagination! Attack the pyramid! Yes! Oh no, she's the only one! Oh... ohh... YES! WOOOOO! What a fight! She could do a cyclone but whatever. Oh, I should appear as a final boss. This is going to be epic. Huh?". Before he could do anything, two other people appeared. "Wait... that's their hot teacher. The other guy, judging from his appearance and calmness, he's probably the principal. Aaaand Yang landed. Okay, back to original surprise."

* * *

_Inside the cafeteria_

"How did you even survive that fall?" Weiss said.

"I don't know. But Nova could have helped me." Yang said.

"Wait, Nova's here?" Jaune said.

"Yeah. He was probably watching the fight."

"So, he's going to see us after school?" Ruby said.

"Probably. I mean, he wouldn't be insane enough to do it now." Weiss said. Then music started playing.

**BGM: Everybody shut up (by Ninja Sex Party)**

"What is that music?"

"Glynda, what is that music?" Ozpin said.

"I don't know." she said.

"Wait... that's Ninja Sex Party!" Yang said.

"Who?" Pyrrha said.

"A comedy band on Youtube."

"Youtube? But who could... oh no." Blake said. Then suddenly, Nova broke through the wall, holding a microphone. The most bizarre was that he was erect.

_"Everybody shut up!_

_I have an erection_

_It only happens 87 times a day_

_Just stop what you're doing_

_And witness penis perfection_

_This is more important than what you have to say_

_Your story can wait, cause I am very erect_

_Now let's all take a minute to watch my dick and reflect_

_Your spirit's in peace, no need to call the police_

_Please hold your applause_

_Do you ever take a moment_

_And look up at the stars?_

_And think about your life_

_And just how stupid you are_

_If it makes you feel better_

_I'm a fucking rock star_

_WITH AN AMAZING PENIS!_

_But enough about you_

_Let's focus more on my crotch_

_It's as tangy as whiskey_

_And hits you harder than scotch_

_You might not get what I'm sayin'_

_So just sit back and watch_

_LOOK! It's still my penis!"_

**End of BGM**

The kids were looking at him slack-jawed. They couldn't describe what they just saw with words. Then Nova took his phone and took a photo of them. "Yes! Those are the faces I wanted to see! Hey kids! Hey sexy~*wink*."

"Okay... I take it back. He's insane." Weiss said.

"What is going on here?! And who are you?! What gave you the idea that you can break into the academy like that?!" Goodwitch said to Nova.

"I could, so I did it." Nova said.

"What?! Who do you think you are?!"

"The real question is who are you?! I don't know you! My mother always told me not to talk to strangers! And you're a stranger! So don't talk me and leave! C'mon, go. Shoo! Go!"

"Do you guys believe what you are seeing?" Yang whispered to the others.

"No." they whispered back.

"What? What are you talking about?! Stop with this nonsense!" Goodwitch said.

"Damnit, this is the second time that you didn't fall for my tricks. Too bad that- why am I floating? What is that purple aura around me?" Nova said. She was using her semblance to shut him up. He then started slamming him down, left and right. "OW! OW! OW! STOP IT! PLEASE! STOP IT! OW! Owww... I deserved that..."

"I'm confused, he felt that or he's screwing around?" Nora whispered.

"Enough! Tell us now who you are and-"

"Glynda, wait a second." Ozpin said. "Could you tell us your name?"

"Nova Light."

"Well mr Light, would you come in my office? I want to talk with you."

"Am I in trouble?"

"Well, you broke into the cafeteria and tried to trick one of our staff. Normally, you would, but no."

"What?!" Goodwitch said.

"What?!" the kids said.

"Really?" Nova said.

"Yes." Ozpin said.

"But he-!

"Glynda, please. Now can you fix that hole in the wall?"

"But-"

"Also bring me a double Macchiato stevia, without caffeine, okay sweetheart?" Nova said to piss her off more. She was red as a tomato from anger. She could hear the kids behind her trying to hold their laughter. She gave them a serious glare that shut them up for good.

* * *

_At the office_

Nova and Ozpin were at his office. Nova was chill, having his legs on the desk.

"So, I introduced myself. Are you going to tell me your name?" Nova said.

"Right, my name is Ozpin. I am the headmaster of Beacon Academy."

"Nice to meet you. So what- Hey you came! Where's my coffee?". Goodwitch just entered the room and she already got angry.

"Would you show some respect? Take your legs of the desk." she said.

"Okay, mom. Anyway, what do you want with me?"

"I want to ask you some questions, if that's okay." Ozpin said.

"Sure, ask away."

"First, how long do you know teams RWBY and JNPR?"

"Oh well, I think for..."

"5 months?"

"Yeah, 5 months! Wait... how do you know about that?"

"I think I would remember it since the time you shot that giant energy beam from the dorm rooftops."

"... How do you know that?"

"I always know what happens in my academy."

"Right...".Then they heard a ring.

"Come in." Ozpin said. Then through the doors, a man with a military suit came in.

"Ozpin! My old friend." he said.

"James."

"Hmm... I expected you to call me General Ironwood."

"And I expected you to come with an army."

"Well, after that beam of light, you know how it is. And Glynda. You look beautiful as always."

"Hello James." she said.

"Oh? You didn't tell me that, you crazy girl." Nova said.

"Quiet you."

"Ozpin... who is that?" Ironwood said, referring to Nova.

"Oh, I'm sorry. James, meet Nova, the one who shot that beam of light. Nova, meet James Ironwood, general of the Atlas military and old friend of mine."

"It's great to finally meet you."

"It's my honor, but can you please tell me what did I do?" Nova said.

"We will get to that part, but first I want to ask you how did you do that? Was that your semblance?" Ozpin said.

"Well, sort of. I can make my thoughts reality. I can do anything I imagine."

"That's an amazing ability."

"Thank you. Now will you tell me what did I do that made his _Ironwood _happy?"

"Excuse me?" he said. Hearing that, Goodwitch couldn't help it but laugh.

"It was as happy as watching miss sexy teacher coochie over there."

"What?" she said and now Nova was laughing like mad. "Two in a row!"

"Can we return to our subject now?" Ozpin said.

"Sorry. Why shooting that blast was good?"

"You see, without knowing it, in a way you saved humanity."

"I did?"

"Yes. The place where that blast hit, was a place where the Grimm are being born. It goes to ancient times. When two brothers ruled this world. The god of light and the god of darkness. That was the home of the god of darkness, before he and his brothers abandon Remnant."

"... Okay. Go on.". 'Don't tell me that he was telling the truth."

"Are you... feeling alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Continue."

"Okay. After that, a woman started living there. A witch called... Salem."

"... Are you serious?"

"You don't believe me?"

"It's not that. Continue."

"Well, to make a long story short, she was trying to destroy all humanity."

"But since you did that blast, you destroyed the place, along with her. Thanks to you, humanity is safe and no more Grimm are being born." Ironwood said.

"So what he said was true..." Nova said.

"What was that?" Ozpin said.

"Well... you know what happened about the cult that all of the members died, right?"

"Yeah. They never found the murderer ever since. I'm glad that a cult like that stopped, but killing all of them?" Ironwood said.

"You're looking at him."

"What?!" everyone said. (insert menacing sfx)

"You did it?!"

"Why would you kill them all?!" Goodwitch said.

"They were threatening my girlfriend. It was either leave town or end it right now. I chose the latter. But before I killed their leader, he told me why he created the cult. It turned out that they were worshipping Salem."

"Are you serious?!"

"Nova... are you telling the truth?" Ozpin said. He was legitimately shocked about this new information.

"It's true. I didn't believe him in the beginning. But after what you said, I guess he was telling the truth. All those sacrifices, just for an old hag."

"We knew that she had associates, but religious followers?" Ironwood said.

'What really bugs me is that he said that she was immortal. And they are telling me now that I killed her. Do they know, or...' Nova thought. He then looked close at them. Like reading their minds. When he looked at Ozpin, he saw something weird about him. "Can I talk to you, in private?"

"I was actually going to ask you that. Glynda, James, would you mind?" Ozpin said.

"Of course not." she said. After they left they room, the real conversation started.

"What is-"

"She still alive, right?" Nova said.

"What? How did you know?"

"You might be old, but you can't fool a trillion year old god."

"God?"

"I read your mind. I know about your past. Your relationship with her, all those past lifes. And you didn't tell them."

"I couldn't tell them. If they found out that she can't die, they would lose all hope."

"But you already have a plan. It's Ruby, right? And her silver eyes."

"*sigh* She's the only chance that we have against her. That's why I'm asking you... can you destroy Salem and save Remnant?"

"I would want to but no. It's not my business to involve with the problems of the mortals. I won't do anything."

"Are you really a god?"

"... Yes. I'm not from your world. I was born when time was created. Only the kids and my girlfriend know that. Can you keep it a secret? And the cult part?"

"Of course. So you won't do anything."

"No. Unless she provokes me."

"Provoke you?"

"Yes. I made friends here. If she or any of her associates, hurt my friends... they're going to regret it. That's god's promise."

"But Salem can't die."

"There are fates worst than death. Like turning her into a stone statue, as you were planning". He got up and walked at the door. "Oh, before I go, I want to ask. The academy does dances, proms and all the American shit, right?"

"Well yes."

"If you want a DJ, here's my card. I don't need any payment. I will put music out from this world. Goodbye for now.". Then he left the office. Then Goodwitch and Ironwood came inside.

"So is he going to help us with the associates?" he said.

"If they provoke him." Ozpin said.

* * *

_Later, with the kids_

"It's been ages since we've seen you! Where have you been?" Yang said.

"In love, kids. In love." Nova said. They had a break and they decided to talk.

"You're talking about the girl you met? How it was your date?" Ruby said.

"It had its good and bad moments. Since then we went on a tour on Earth. Look at the pictures! Here we are in New York, in Paris, in London, in Madrid, in Rome, in Athens, in Tokyo, she loved it there, in New Delhi, in Sydney, and then we went back to Italy."

"You must had a great time." Pyrrha said.

"Didn't people found it weird that she had cat ears? There are no faunus on Earth." Weiss said.

"Actually no. They probably found it as an accessory."

"How long it's been? One month since then?" Yang said.

"Exactly. And I was thinking. Soon it will be Valentine's Day here, right?"

"What did you plan for her?"

"Well, she likes pets, so I decided to give her one."

"That's a great gift!" Pyrrha said.

"What is it? Is it a puppy? Everyone loves puppies!" Ruby said.

"Speak for yourself." Blake said.

"No. It's even better." Nova said. Then he showed them a Pokéball. He opened it and an Eevee was revealed.

"Eevee!" it said.

"AWWWWWW! IT'S SO CUTE!" all the girls said.

"I'll give her one of the most adorable Pokémon ever." Nova said.

"It's so adorable! Not like my Zwei, but still!" Ruby said.

"You have a dog?" Blake said.

"Yeah, it's the most adorable corgi in the world!"

"Aww, you're so cute! Yes, you are! Yes, you are!" Weiss said. She took Eevee in her hug and it was rubbing it's face on hers. It even licked her with it's tiny tongue. "EEEEEEEEE, IT'S SO CUTE! Awwww~". Then she fainted, because of the cuteness.

"Wow. Emotional overload. I was expecting Blake to suffer one." Nova said.

"Well, I'm not a fan of pets.". Then she got a notification on her scroll. She saw it and she went crazy. "OH MY GOD! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD! The new book _Dancing in the clouds _is out!". Then she fainted too.

"I think I've seen everything." Jaune said.

"We should wake them up." Ren said.

"Got it. Hey Elsa, wake up!" Nova said and gave her a big slap, waking her up.

"OWWW! WHAT THE HELL?!" she said. Nora for some reason couldn't stop laughing. "What's so funny?!"

"The sound! It was like earrape! Do it again!" Nora said.

"Okay. Wake up!" Nova said, also slapping Blake.

"OWWW! You asshole!" she said.

"It never gets old!" Nora said while laughing.

"Okay, I think that's enough slapping." Ren said.

"Aww..."

"Eevee, it's time for you to return." Nova said, returning it inside the Pokéball.

"Anyway, before all that, I wanted to ask, what happened with Headmaster Ozpin?" Weiss finally asked.

"Oh well, we talked about stuff. He actually knew about the Kamehameha."

"Really? What did he say?" Ruby said.

"He... was asking me for a job. You know, as a teacher here. But I denied."

"That sucks, you would be an awesome teacher." Yang said.

"I would. But I would give you higher grades."

"Eh, it's okay."

"But I will probably be a DJ for the dances the academy will do."

"Really? That's awesome!"

"But no disco, okay?" Blake said.

"No! Disco will never die!" Nova said. "Well, I think it's time for me to leave. I should go see Fiona.". His phone started ringing. "Huh? Who's calling me? Hello?"

_"We have your girlfriend."_

"What?!"

"Nova, what's happening?" Ruby said.

_"If you want to see her again, meet us at these coordinates we'll send you. Don't mess with the White Fang."._ The conversation then ended.

"No... No!" Nova said.

"What's wrong?" Blake said.

"Fiona... she's been kidnapped.". Everyone was shocked, hearing that.

"Who did it?!" Jaune said.

"The White Fang."

"What?! But... that doesn't make sense! Why would they kidnap faunus?!" Blake said.

"Maybe they just want Nova." Weiss said.

"But who would tell them about him?" Ren said.

"Scarlet." Nova growled. He was so angry, he crushed his phone.

"Who?" Yang said.

"Her sister! She's a White Fang member."

"Wait... you mean Scarlet Marrone?" Blake said.

"You know her?" Yang said.

"Back in the day, I learned the names of all the high-ranks and their abilities."

"What are we gonna do?" Jaune said.

"I'm gonna go save her." Nova said.

"Alone?" Ruby said.

"I'll come too." Blake said.

"No, you won't. It's my business." Nova said.

"But I want to-"

"No."

"But I-"

"No!"

"But-". Nova had enough and started spraying her with a water spray, which he took out of nowhere. And they could hear her hissing like a cat.

"No! You have classes to attend! Besides... it would be too disturbing for you to see."

"How much disturbing?" Pyrrha said.

"Well, you've seen the cult incident on the news, right?"

"Who didn't?" Yang said.

"They're going to get the same treatment."

"Wait... it was you?" Ruby said.

"*sigh* I know it sound inhuman, and it is, but I would do anything for Fiona and you. That's my divine justice. See you in Saturday.". He snapped his fingers and left.

"I don't know how I feel about that... I feel like I want to run away from him, but... it's complicated." Ruby said.

* * *

_At the location_

It was a small White Fang base. Soldiers were all around it as guards, ready to fight. Inside, was a building, around 2 floors high. Inside, Fiona was tied in achair, while more guards were around her. "Let me go! I'm a faunus like you! Why would you do this?!" she said.

"Don't worry. We will free you later. But for now, you stay." a voice said. Two people entered. The first was Scarlet and the other was a man, who had long black hair and a tiger tail.

"Scarlet?! What are you doing?!",

"I'm saving you from Nova." Scarlet said.

"What?"

"When Scarlet told me that your boyfriend was a human and how he humiliated her, we thought that he was too dangerous." he said.

"What if he hurt you? I will do anything to protect you. Even asking help from my mentor." Scarlet said.

"Are... ARE YOU INSANE?!" Fiona said.

"Don't worry. You will forget about him in the future. You won't be angry at me forever."

"You would prefer me to be angry at you than what will happen now! Do you understand what have you done?!"

"We will make it at least quick and painless for him." he said.

"No... it's not what will you do... but what will he do... you don't have any idea how strong he is... everyone around will die!"

"He won't do anything! We have armed men, ready for anything outside! He won't stand a chance against us!"

* * *

_Outside the building_

The soldiers saw a guy walking towards them. The man wore a completely white suit. "Hey you! Stop right there! Leave, human or we will shoot! This is your last chance!" one soldier said. Nova stopped. He took a big breath and-

"FIONAAAAAAAAAAA!". Everyone could hear that scream.

"Nova?" Fiona said.

"It's him!" Scarlet's mentor said.

"Finally." Scarlet said.

"NOVAAAAAAA! DON'T KILL THEM! PLEAAAASE!" Fiona screamed. Luckily for her, he heard it.

"As you want." Nova said. He kept walking towards the building.

"We warned you! Fire!" the soldier said and they all started firing. In the building, they could hear the shootings. But seconds later they stopped and got replaced with screaming. "AHHH HELP! IT HURTS! I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!". Everyone except Fiona had a cartoony shocked expression. After one minute of screaming, Nova entered the building. They could hear more, louder screams and bones breaking. He eventually reached the first floor where they were.

"Don't worry, they're not dead. They're crippled. The police will handle the rest." Nova said.

"Thank god." Fiona said.

"You're welcome. Well, well, well. If it isn't Scarlet. I didn't think that you would kidnap your own sister just to get rid off me. What else will you do just to prove that you're right?"

"Smile now that you can, because you're not going to get out of here alive." Scarlet said.

"Do you remember what happened last time? I got it all on video."

"Why you-"

"Scarlet, don't lose temper. Or else you'll lose the psychological battle." his mentor said.

"And who are you? Her gay mentor?" Nova said.

"I'M NOT GAY!"

"Wow, chill bruh."

"Alright, time to end this! Die, you trash!" Scarlet said. She charged at him, ready to kill. But he, like the badass he is, he bitchslapped her, sending her to the next room, through the wall.

"Wow, so many preparations, just to hilariously fail. You're faggot of a mentor must be very disappointed.". Suddenly, he appeared in front of Nova, holding a sword.

"Shut up, already." he said.

"What?!". He instantly slashed his chest, making a big bloody cut, sending him back.

"NO!" Fiona screamed. Secretly, she was trying to cut the ropes with her nails. Nova went for a punch but he disappeared. He appeared in a flash behind him and cut both of his arms. Blood sprayed out of tgem and he was screaming in pain.

"Not so tough now. And the name is Gregory." he said. Fiona managed to cut the ropes. She got up and took her weapons.

"Fiona, don't worry... I got it." Nova said.

"I'm not helping you. I know already who's going to win. I'm going to teach a lesson to my sister." Fiona said.

"Okay, but before you do... do you remember that scene I showed you, while we where in Napoli?". She nodded. "Good, now go.". She then left the room.

"You got it? Ha! Don't make me laugh. You're literally disarmed. How will you beat me?" Gregory said.

"Oh, trust me.". His hands then regrew, in a disgusting way. "I will. And it will be very epic.". He then took of his shirt and threw it, showing his bare chest. (insert rumble sfx).

* * *

_Meanwhile_

"I can't believe I got humiliated by that human again! I can't stand him!" Scarlet said after she got up. "At least my sister will be safe."

"After I beat you up." She turned around and saw Fiona, with her bladed fans in her hands.

"Why do you want to fight me? I'm doing this for you!"

"Stop with this bullshit! You stopped doing it for me when you kidnapped me. You're just trying to prove your point!"

"So what if I do? You don't think that you can beat me in a fight."

"It's been 9 years since we sparred. I improved a lot."

"We'll see about that.". She got her blades and they both charged.

* * *

_Back to Nova and Lieutenant Fag_

They were both in a stance. "I don't know how you did that, but you'll still lose." Gregory said.

"That's what the last guy said and now his cult is dead." Nova said.

'He... he did it?!'. "You might be strong, but it won't be enough."

"Are we going to fight or you'll keep saying lame threats?"

"You know, while I was talking, I already figured out a way to kill you."

"Oh? You did?"

"Yes. Since you can regenerate, if I just cut your head, it will be over."

"Then try it."

**BGM: Fist of the north star - Fist of the North Star**

"Okay, then". He then, with a flash, started zapping through every part of the room.

"What... what is that ability?"

"With my semblance, I can move at the speed of light! Try to land a hit on me! Hahahahahaha!". Nova was quiet. He was simply waiting for the moment to attack. "You fool! Waiting to attack won't help you! You can't react that fast! Now die!". He was about to attack, but Nova backhanded him, sending him crash to a wall. "(grunting) What?!"

"Stop talking already. You're more annoying than me."

'He... reacted to my move?! Who is that guy?!'.

"Don't tell me that's all you got."

"Why you!". He rushed at him with his semblance. Nova was evading every attack, no matter how fast he was. 'How... how does he do that?! How fast is he?!'.

"While this is kinda interesting, I have more important things to do.". He then kicked him right in the face. He managed to land on his feet and quickly zapped through ever corner again. Nova suddenly appeared in front of him and gave him a strong punch in the face, sending him to a wall.

"This... this is impossible!"

"You know, I could have stopped time to hit you, but I wanted to play a little. And you really made me play like an amateur."

"I... I won't lose to you!" He got up and charged at Nova, as fast as he could.

"WATA!". Nova quickly punched him in the gut, making him spit blood. "ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA! ATAAA!". Nova sent him to a wall, destroying it completely. Before Gregory fell, his body started expanding.

"What's happening to my body?! No! NO! AHHHHHHHHHHH-". His entire upper body blew up, in a gory explosion. Nova was looking from above.

**End of BGM**

"I'm sorry Fiona.". He then ran to find Fiona. "I hope she's okay."

* * *

_Meanwhile_

Scarlet turned her blades into machine guns and started shooting. Luckily for Fiona, hanks to her abilty, she could ran fast enough to avoid the bullets. She managed to get close and tried to slash her with her fans. Scarlet blocked and made her go back. She turned them back into blades and launched one at her. Fiona jumped away, but Scarlet predicted that. She threw and her other blade. She tied her up with the chain and slammed her down. "Please stop it! I don't want to hurt you!" she said. Fiona got up, still determined to fight.

"You're already doing it." Fiona said. She charged again and they both engaged to close combat. They both attacked and blocked every attack they threw at each other. But Scarlet had the upper hand because of Fiona's style.

"You ungrateful, little shit!". She managed to knock her down easily. "Can't you see that I'm doing this for you!? I did everything to protect you from that piece of shit, and you're defending him! Open your damn eyes!"

"Protect me? Then where were you when I needed you, huh? Where?!". She was injured and her aura level was low, but she still stood up. "After you joined the White Fang, you didn't do anything for me! Admit it! You don't give a shit about me.". That made Scarlet angry and she charged. Fiona though, managed to knee her in the face, making her stagger back.

**BGM: Il vento d'oro - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure**

"And don't you dare call Nova a piece of shit. You are wrong about him!". Scarlet charged again. Fiona decided finally to use her semblance. She hit her with a strong air pressure punch to the gut. "Since the day I met him, he's been protecting me, like you should!". She did another one, this time to her face. "I've never been happier in my life before!". And another one. "He cares about me and even treats me like a queen!". And another one. "He would do anything for me!". She walked towards her. "He saved me from anti-faunus fanatics!". She punched her in the face. "From a guy I thought he was my friend!". And another one. "From myself!". And another one. "He killed a fucking cult for me! He even took mom's scar away."

"Wha...what? Her... scar?"

"Exactly. That's the piece of shit you're referring to. And yet you insist that he's bad. No Scarlet. YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT!". She kicked her up in the air. She jumped, using her semblance and started darting at every corner, doing fast attacks from everywhere. She landed and started running in circles, making a hurricane. She took out her fans and started slashing her. She stopped running. Scarlet was in the air, bleeding from anywhere. When she started falling, Fiona took the chance and decided to finish the fight, with a flurry of kicks. "ARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARIARI! ARIII!". She finished the combo with a strong spinning kick, sending out of the building, falling to the ground, knocked out. "Arrivederci."

**End of BGM**

She fell on her knees, from exhaustion and her injuries. She was breathing heavily. "I hope... you learned your lesson."

"Fiona!". Nova was running towards her.

"Nova?"

"Please, let me help you.". He helped her stand on her feet. "Is... she dead?"

"No. My attacks weren't that strong. Her aura probably reduced the pain of the fall. Is the guy that you were fighting dead?". He didn't answer. He remained silent. "Oh."

"Fiona... I've been thinking about it. I became a dangerous enwmy of a terrorist group. They're probably going to try and kill me. And I'm afraid that they will do anything to do it. Even kill you."

"What are you saying?"

"Maybe you should move to my house."

"What? You mean to abandon my family and friends?"

"I didn't say that. It's just a theory. I mean, even if your sister changes her mind, I don't think that she would be able to stop them. I just want to protect you."

"Stop saying that. I got tired of that phrase. I can take care of myself."

"...You got kidnapped by a couple of grunts."

"I can! Thanks for the offer, but I'll risk it."

"Okay then, as you want. Let's get out of here, before the police comes."

"Okay, let's go. But can you please take me on your hands?"

"Okay.". He then took her, bride style, and walked back to the city.

"I love you, Nova."

"I love you too, Fiona."

_(JoJo references: 14)_

* * *

**And done! That was probably the biggest chapter I wrote. Next time, we will start reactions again. But you won't expect what they will watch. Like, follow, review and sent a PM. See you soon!**


	52. Nova Force EP1

**PROMOTION! It's a promotional chapter! I need help, I need views. I can't accept that my story that is about heroes and demons has 10 times fewer views than Levi×Reader stories. So please, check out the original story on Wattpad.**

* * *

**I do not own anything except my OC. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes,offensive humor and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 50:**** Nova Force Episode 1**

It was a "normal" Saturday morning. Nova was talking with Fiona on the phone. "You can't this evening? Why?"

_"I'm sorry, but it's important. Me and the girls are participating into a big singing contest and we will be practice all day. If we win, we will sign a contract with Lucas Records, the most famous music company in all Remnant! You'll come and see us, right?_

"Of course! When is the contest?"

"_In three days._"

"Good. I'll see you then."

_"Okay! I love you~!"_

"Love you too! Bye~!"

_"Bye~!"._ Then the conversation ended.

"Oh, I love her so much. She's like my Minnie Mouse. Anyway, I think I should pay a visit to the kids. It's been a long time.". He snapped his fingers and disappeared. (Ah, the nostalgia) Meanwhile, team RWBY was doing whatever they were doing. Suddenly Nova appeared, surprising the three of them. "Hey girls! No time long see! Wait, I said it wrong, long time no see!"

"Hey Nova!" Ruby said.

"Wow, it's been a long time since you appeared like that." Yang said.

"The only thing I didn't miss." Weiss said.

"Aww, you're too kind. Anyways, what's up?" Nova said.

"You've missed! We were on an important mission!" Ruby said.

"Really?"

"Yeah! You see, we went undercover to find out what the White Fang and Roman Torchwick were planning."

"And how did that go?"

"It went okay." Yang said.

"We found out about their possible location and that they stole Atlas mechs." Blake said.

"That's something good." Nova said.

"And then we fought Torchwick. And he was using one of the mechs!" Ruby said.

"Really?! Wait, let me see.". He put his hand on Ruby's head to see the memories of the fight. "Holy shit! You fucking obliterated the mech!"

"Yeah, I know. I'm that cool." Yang said.

"How did you survive that?! That punch was like 3 airplanes coming at you at full speed! You're a fucking tank unit!"

"Stop it, you make me blush."

"Until that ice cream girl came."

"Ugh, don't remind me of her."

"But you all did one mistake on this mission. Especially you and monkey boy."

"Huh?" Blake said.

"The highway chase."

"What about it?"

"You led him into a highway. Where people were driving there. And he was knocking around the cars to run. Cars with people. That probably died. Which means that you put in danger innocent people. And the most sad thing. No one did anything to prevent these casualties.". That put the girls into thinking. They did put all those people in danger. Their job is to protect people, not the opposite.

"Oh no..." Weiss said

"You're right... we did put those people in danger." Yang said.

"But we were inside town. It would happen anyway. We couldn't do anything about it." Blake said.

"That's the point. We weren't able to do something about it." Ruby said.

"That should be a lesson to you girls. You get some, you lose something. Try not to think about it, okay? Stuff like that happen. It's not the first time, and it won't be the last. Anyway, don't you want to ask me?" Nova said.

"We saw it in the news." Weiss said.

"You crippled an entire White Fang base. And their leader was blown to bits." Blake said.

"Please, don't remind me of that picture. I don't feel well."

"What about your girlfriend's sister?" Ruby said.

"Oh, Fiona arrivederci'd her out of the building." Nova said.

"Wait... you mean that scene from JoJo?" Yang said.

"You saw it?"

"Yang became a big JoJo fan." Ruby said.

"And it became annoying. First the puns, now JoJo references." Weiss said.

"Your next line will be_ See? She keeps doing it!_, isn't it?" Yang said.

"See? She keeps- stop predicting my lines!"

"Like you're better, miss _Snow Mane._"

"Huh?" Nova said.

"She became-"

"Don't say it!"

"-a brony."

"YANG!"

"What?! A brony?!" Nova said

"No! It's pegasis!"

"Aww, Weiss love ponies. That's cute."

"Shut up."

"Ruby started the Tik Tok dances again." Yang said.

"I can't help it, the songs are to good!" Ruby said.

"And Blake won't stop watching the creepypasta stories."

"There are actually a lot of good ones." Blake said.

"...You don't seem well." Nova said.

"What?"

"Look at you. You look like you haven't slept at all."

"It's nothing."

"Alright, now who's ready for some-"

"We saw them." Yang said.

"Huh?"

"We saw all of Teamfourstar's episodes. And Hellsing. And YuGiOh."

"Well, then-"

"And JoJo."

"Already?!"

"And WeeabossTAS's one."

"And-"

"And Scrub's videos."

"Damnit! Oh-"

"And Gamer Monkey's."

"Wow, you really are a JoJo fan."

"Those were adorable." Ruby said.

"Well, I got a show for you."

"You do?"

"Yes, and it's from my original world. You see, I read a story that I found and it was really good. So I went to Adult Swim and along with Trigger Studios, they made the story a new series. I made the author very famous."

"That's nice of you."

"Yeah, do you want to see it?"

"Sure."

"Okay, call team JNPR.". Later, everyone sat down and were ready to watch the show. "Are you ready?". Everyone nodded. "Good, let's begin."

**Good and evil. Two powerful forces fighting each other. The forces of evil trying to come on top and the forces of good trying to keep the balance. There once was a man, with the power given by God himself to protect life and stop the forces of evil. He was fighting the embodiment of evil himself, Satan. But Satan was too strong for that man. But even then, he managed to banish him in Hell, for the rest of his immortal life. But that trick cost him his life. A man who was known as the Holy Counselor, was told by God to split the power in four: light, fire, lightning and knowledge and give them to beings that are worthy and can take the responsibility of protecting life from evil.**

"That was a nice introduction." Blake said.

"So your brother is the main villain?" Jaune said.

"You'll see in episode 3." Nova said.

"What does their powers mean? Light, lightning, fire and knowledge?" Pyrrha said.

"They mean divinity, speed, strength and... well, knowledge. Here comes the intro! I payed a lot to put certain songs in and make special openings."

**BGM: Rising - X-men**

**The opening starts with dark red clouds and alien spaceships, covering the sky. The camera went down to show three demon figures, covered in shadows, summoning an army of demons, which they were coming from the ground. Then it shows a guy with white hair and shining rainbow eyes throwing a ki blast at some of them. More demons appear behind him. He backs up and in his place comes a woman with red hair and glowing blue eyes, destroying them with one fiery punch. The scene changes to another woman with blue hair and glowing red eyes. She spread her arms and lightning striked her. But it didn't hurt her, the lightning went to the demons, burning them alive. Then it shows the last one, with green hair and glowing pink eyes, shooting a big blast from her arm cannons, disintegrating them. Then it cuts to the logo of the show. Back to the heroes, where it shows the blue haired one using her super speed to pass through an army of demons. She stops at the other side and they all blew up behind her. Then it changes to the green haired one, using her psychic abilities to push them back, throw them away or rip them apart. The red haired one was surrounded. She was pushing them back, until they all fell on her. But she burned them alive, releasing a fiery explosion. The white haired one was fighting one of the shadowy demons, showing that she is the villain of the show. The scene changed to the heoes charging, with classic anime sfx in the backround. They all fly towards the spaceships. They all destoy them, using their powers, the blue one zaps one, the red one flies through them multiple times like a meteor, the green one turns her hands into giant spikes and stabs them and the white one launches a big blast destroying it completely, causing a blinding explosion. Then it shows the last picture, with them doing a team pose that would make the Ginyu Force jealous.**

_**CRY FOR THE MOOOOOOOOOON!**_

**End of BGM**

"That was amazing!" Ruby said.

"That was full of action!" Jaune said.

"It was like Dragon Ball!"

"I'm confused about the green one. She turned her hands into spikes. How?" Pyrrha said.

"These are spoilers questions." Nova said.

"And what was that song?" Yang said.

"That was the japanese opening song of the X-men."

"And those three demons in the shadows are the villains?" Weiss said.

"Yeah, although it's one of them per season."

"Wait, what about the spaceships?" Nora said.

"The inbetween seasons. He's also going to make a season, all about crossovers. But he kept them a secret. Now let's watch the episode!"

**Episode 1: Enter The Warrior Of Light**

**Meet Stamatis Papadopoulos, an 18 year old boy who lives in Greece and our protagonist. He is 177 cm tall, he has ash blond hair and brown eyes. He is the stereotypical loser, not popular, nobody really liked him for no reason, small self-esteem, masturbating up to 5 times a day and a virgin. **

"He looks exactly like you!" Weiss said.

"Yeah, but fatter and full of zits." Yang said.

"You see, the author coincidentially looks exactly like me and he made gim exactly like him." Nova said.

"Nobody liked him for no reason?" Pyrrha said.

"That's so unfair." Ruby said.

"5 times a day? Shouldn't his arm be all muscles?" Yang said.

**His life sucked, until one day... He was coming back from the super market. When he got in his house, he saw his parents an a strange man, wearing a big dark blue hooded cloak. What was actually weird was his parents' sad expressions.**

**"Mom? Dad? What's going on? And who is this?" Stamatis said.**

"Subtitles? It's not in English?" Ruby said.

"He wanted everyone to speak their own language." Nova said.

"That's good. But I think it should be better if the all spoke the same language." Weiss said.

"But it also shows different cultures. It was a good option." Blake said.

**"Ah, you must be Stamatis. It's so nice to meet you again." the man said.**

**"What are you talking about, sir? I've never met you."**

**"Stamatis, this man here came for you." his father said.**

**"He came to take you." his mother said.**

**"Take me? I don't understand at all! What's happening?!" Stamatis said.**

**"I have a lot of names, but I'm known as the Holy Counselor. I'm here to take you to fullfill your destiny." the man said.**

**"My... my destiny?"**

**"Stamatis, you are the warrior of light."**

"That's a nice title." Jaune said.

**"... What?". When he heard that, he thought that he was crazy.**

**"We never told you about it. It all happened when you were a baby.". His mother started telling a story. "When you were born, we weren't sure what happened but we saw your hair turning white for a moment. We thought that we just imagined it, but this man here told us why that happened. You have a special power."**

**"That's what happened. I'm here to take you and train you to become a hero." the man said.**

**"So you're saying that I have super powers." Stamatis said.**

**"Exactly."**

**"Well, as much as I want to believe that, I don't.". Then the counselor raised his hand and put it on Stamatis' head. Stamatis then felt something incredible awakening inside him. He didn't know it but his hair turned white and his eyes had a lot of colors, like a rainbow. "What...what just happened?!"**

"So cool!" Ruby said.

"The rainbow eyes really look good." Blake said.

**"Stamatis... your hair... and your eyes!" his mother said.**

**"What?!". He went to see himself into a mirror. "****HOLY SHIT****! ****I HAVE**** ULTRA INSTINCT!" He then turned back to normal. "So... everything you said it's true. I have powers."**

"Ultra instinct?"

"He does look like he has ultra instinct." Yang said.

**"Indeed you have. Now, I must warn you. The path that you will take won't be easy. If you don't want that, I can give them to someone else. If you do want to-"**

**"I accept." Stamatis said interrupting him.**

**"What?"**

"Thay easily?" Weiss said.

"Well, his life sucks, so why not?" Yang said.

"Also, who wouldn't want to be a hero?" Ruby said.

**"You heard me, I accept my destiny."**

**"T-that easily?"**

**"Yeah... you see my life isn't the best. Also I need to do something useful with it. But I have one question. How long the training is gonna last?"**

**"About three years."**

"Three years?! He will be away from his family for three years?!"

**"Three years?! Will I still be able to see my family?"**

**"Of course! I am an old wise man, not a monster."**

"That's good, because every time someone takes someone for hero training, he doesn't let him go anywhere until the training is over." Jaune said.

"Not all the time." Ruby said.

"Most of the time."

**"What about school?"**

**"I'll take care of that later, don't worry. We are leaving tomorrow. And I hope you don't change your mind until then.". And with that the counselor left.**

**The next day, the counselor came to take Stamatis. He said his last goodbye to his parents and his sister.**

**"Be careful, okay?" his mother said.**

**"Okay mom." Stamatis said.**

**"I always imagined you as a scientist, but I never expected that to happen. Either way, I'm so proud of you.". She was trying so hard to hold her tears. She then gave him a big hug and he hugged her back. **

"I hate emotional scenes!" Nora said, trying not to cry.

**After that a portal appeared. Stamatis turned to look at them one final time before entering it. After that, the portal closed. They were in a giant hallway. Minutes later, they got in front of a door.**

**"This is where you'll sleep." the counselor said. He opened the door and showed Stamatis his room.**

**"Okay. I have a lot of questions. First, how strong will I become?"**

**"Enough to destroy planets with ease."**

**"Really?! Just like in Dragon Ball!"**

**"...I don't know what that is, but sure."**

**"Second, am I the only one with powers or there are more?"**

**"There are three more. The warrior of fire, lightning and knowledge. Fire is strength, lightning is speed and knowledge is... well knowledge."**

**"Then what I resemble?"**

**"Good and justice. You are the divine judge."**

**"Ooo, that sounds nice. Do you know if one of them is a girl?"**

**"They are all girls. Why do you want to know?"**

**"Uh, no reason.****"**

"Yeah, no reason." Weiss said.

"At least he's asking questions that people should ask." Yang said.

**"****And our job is to protect the world, right?"**

**"Not only the world, but the entire universe."**

**"What?! How will I manage to protect the entire universe?!"**

**"I'm not afraid of that. I believe that you can do it. Any more questions?"**

**"What's the wifi password?"**

**"..."**

**"..."**

Everyone facepalmed but couldn't help it but laugh a little because it's relatable.

"I actually wondered when will he ask that."

**"Your training will begin at 15:00. And the password is 1234567890." 'We didn't start well.'. He then left with slight disappointment.**

**"Why are you like that? Was it something I said?"**

"You ruined the moment." Blake said.

**3 years passed since then. Stamatis went through the most extreme training he ever imagined. The first days were difficult for him. Or first weeks. Or first months. But in the end he became stronger. Surprisingly, he learned more than the counselor could teach him, all thanks to anime. He was almost ready. The only thing left was a test.**

**"Stamatis, three years ago, you were, and sorry for my language, complete shit. Now you're almost ready to do your duty. There is one final test for you."**

Everyone laughed with that.

"You couldn't had said it better." Yang said.

**"What is it counselor?"**

**"In a small planet far away, it's habitants are being terrorized by a giant dragon monster. It's not only a test, it's your first real mission. You must defeat the moster and save them. Can you do it?"**

"Simple first mission." Pyrrha said.

"For us. What about him?" Weiss said.

"He has Super Saiyan powers, it will be easy." Yang said.

**"Of course I can, but it's another planet, will I be able to breathe there?"**

**"Surprisingly yes."**

"That's convenient." Weiss said.

**"Also how will I understand them? I don't know their language."**

**"Don't worry about it. Everyone in the known universe speaks Greek."**

"Why Greek and not English?" Ruby said.

**"Really? How?"**

**"You see, most beings were communicating with special vocal cords that other beings didn't have. That's why some went to search for a language that every living being could speak. When they got to Earth, they chose Greek because of your great culture****. And now the known universe speaks it."**

"Wow, Pyrrha's culture is amazing." Ruby said.

"It's not really my culture, but then again it is." Pyrrha said.

**"Oh, I get it. I mean when we were using democracy, people from other countries like America or England were still living in caves."**

"Wait, really?" Jaune said.

"I don't think so. There were also the Egyptians, the Indians, the Chinese and the Persians. The rest were either just farmers with nothing special about their culture or living in tents, like camping. But the Greeks invented democracy, geometry, philosophy and porn, so yeah." Nova said.

"You didn't need to say porn." Yang said.

"It's true though! I'll show you after that."

**"Enough history lesson, time to go.". Then the counselor opened a portal to the other planet. "Good luck on your mission."**

**"Thank you.". Stamatis entered the portal and it closed.**

**The first thing he saw was the blue ground and the purple sky of the planet. He couldn't believe it. He then saw in front of him a big city and walked there. **

_**BGM: Streets are hot - California crisis**_

**The city was big and futurustic. He saw a lot of beings from different planets.**

"It's so cool! Another planet! Look at all those aliens!" Ruby said.

"It looks like the planet is a touristic attraction." Pyrrha said.

**But some people saw him and they were saying stuff like 'What is he?' and 'Is that an Earthling?'. Some of them even went and spoke to him and took a selfie. **

"Why would they take pictures? There are a lot of species there." Weiss said.

"They probably never saw someone from Earth." Ren said.

**Sta****m****atis found that very bizarre. But then again, he was in a different planet. "Hmm... from the way they are acting and dressed, they are probably tourists." he said. **

_**End of BGM**_

**He managed to find a bar where probably a local should work there. When he entered, everyone looked at him. After some awkward seconds, they stopped staring at him. 'Great, now I'm in Star Wars. The only thing left is the band.' he thought. He took a seat next to the bar. Then the bartender came.**

**"What will you take?" he asked.**

**"No, I don't want anything. This is my first time outer space. Besides I don't have money." Stamatis said.**

**"I understand. Where are you from?"**

**"Planet Earth."**

**"Really? I****t's been ages since I saw ****an Earthling****."**

**"You mean that people from Earth have been through this area?**

**"Yeah. Anyway,****what brings**** you here?"**

**"Are you a local?"**

**"I am, what do you want to learn?"**

**"I heard that a monster comes and terrorizes this city. Do you know why?"**

**"I'm not so sure, but it started attacking when the zoo was made. Why, are you a journalist or something?"**

**"I'm here to take care of it.". Then everyone turned to look at Stamatis. Then they started laughing, even the bartender. "What's so funny?"**

"Yeah, what's so funny?" Ruby said.

**"Haha, you?! You're going to kill it?! Are you serious?! HAHAHA!" a random alien said.**

**"Kid, you can't defeat it! No one can't! What makes you think that you can kill it?" the bartender said.**

**"You're going to be surprised." Stamatis said. Everyone stopped laughing when they heard an explosion. They ran outside to get away. Stamatis saw the monster. It was a giant purple dragon. "There you are."**

"The monster is a giant dragon! Cooooool!" Nora said.

"Wait, don't dragons have scales? That dragon doesn't have scales. It's skin looks smooth." Blake said.

"It's an alien dragon. It's obviously very different. Oh god, since we met Nova, I said things that I'd never imagine." Weiss said.

"That's progress." Yang said.

**The dragon was on a rampage. He breathed blue fire on the streets and the buildings. Everyone was running for their lives. But an alien woman, along with her child tripped and fell down. Both of them saw the dragon in front of them, preparing to burn them. They closed their eyes waiting for the fire. The area was engulfed by the flames.**

"Oh no, those poor aliens!" Pyrrha said.

"Wait for it..." Nova said.

**The dragon then noticed that the aliens disappeared. It looked around to see where they went. It found them behind it, along with another alien, with white hair. The woman and her kid opened their eyes and saw their savio****r****. It was an alien with white hair and rainbow eyes.**

"That was a cool entrance." Yang said.

"The white hair looks good on him. Even better that me." Weiss said.

**"Are you two okay?" he asked and they nodded. "Good. Get out of here now.". They ran away and he turned at the dragon. He noticed that the dragon's skin didn't have scales. It looked smooth. "I can't believe that there's a dragon in front of me."**

_**BGM: M1116 - Dragon Ball Z**_

** It breathed fire and Stamatis avoided it, dashing to the right. He dashed forward and jumped, giving a strong punch to it's jaw, making it fall behind. He flew at it and grabbed it's tail (yes he can fly). He then started spinning and threw the dragon at the air. He charged and hit it's belly. He ended his atrack by sending it crash down. **

"He's very strong!" Ruby said.

"He knocked around the dragon like a ragdoll!" Yang said.

**He landed on it and grabbed it's neck, ready to cut it with his enegy blade he created. But he holded back when it saw it's face, begging ****not to kill it.**

_**End of BGM**_

"That's not the face of a murderous monster." Pyrrha said.

"It's more like..." Blake said.

**Then he remember what the bartender said. "Wait... it all started when the zoo was created. That's it! There's something in the zoo that you want!****"**

"...the face of a worried mother."

"Her kid is in that zoo." Jaune said.

"Thank god he stopped before he cuts its head." Yang said.

"Maybe that was the test. To use a more peaceful way to solve that problem." Ruby said.

**"****It's probably your kid, isn't it? Don't worry, I'll help you. Follow me!". Stamatis flew at the zoo, hoping to find it and the dragon understood him and followed him. "Now where is the zoo?". He then saw near him a building with the words 'Ζωολογικ****ό****ς κ****ήπ****ος' on it. "That's convenient.". He went inside through the door but he didn't expect the dragon to crash through the wall. Everyone started panicking and ran away. **

That made them laugh a little.

**He was running through the hall, searching for something that resemble the dragon. "Where is it? Where is it? ****Damnit****!". He decided to ask for directions. He grabbed someone who was running away. "Hey you! Do you know if it's there a dragon like that?". The alien pointed where it was, shaking in fear. "Thank you."**

"That guy probably shat his pants." Yang said.

**He then ran towards the way he showed and the dragon followed. A minute later, they reached the dragon cage. He saw a small dragon that looked like the big one. The dragons ran close to each other but hard glass was seperating them. **

"Aww, they just want to be together." Pyrrha said.

**"Aww, that's so sweet. Time to break free.". Instead of breaking the glass like a normal person would do, he destroyed the ceiling from both sides.**

"Why would he do that? He could just break the glass. The mother could destroy the ceiling." Weiss said. Nova just shrugged.

**They two dragons flew outside and snuggled. Stamatis and everyone around the museum saw them leaving the city. "Mission accomplished."**

"That's so sweet. He reunited a family." Ruby said.

**Then aliens were coming to see who saved them. Inside the crowd was the mayor and the zoo owner****.**

**"What happened?!" the zoo owner said.**

**"I saved you all. You're welcome."**

**"You also caused damage to my zoo and the city!"**

"He saved the city and you only care about collateral damage?!" Weiss said.

**"Don't worry, I'll pay for it. Thank you... Earthling for saving us from the dragon. Could you tell us your name?" the mayor said.**

**"Stamatis Papadopoulos."**

**"You...!" a random voice said. It was an old man. He came closer to observe him. "The white hair... your rainbow eyes... the legend is true! You are the warrior of light!". When everyone heard him they got shocked. They immediately bowed. Stamatis couldn't believe what he was seeing. Aliens were bowing to him.**

**'****My life fucking rules****.'**

"When aliens bow to you, your life is great." Yang said.

**Hours later, he was in the counselor's place. "Well done Stamatis. Not only you saved everyone, but also no one died**** and you reunited a family****. I'm proud of you." the counselor said.**

**"Thank you counselor." Stamatis said.**

**"I think now it's time to gather the rest of your team."**

**"Are ****you ****going to gather them?"**

**"No, you are. It will be good for you, you'll get to know them better."**

**"Where do I start?"**

**"First you're going to New York to find the warrior of lightning."**

**"New York? But the city is huge! How will I be able to find her?"**

**"Trust me. It won't be difficult."**

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

**BGM: Telephone number (by Junko Ohashi)**

**The ending starts, with the four heroes, in chibi form, dancing, with aesthetic background.**

_**AWOOOOOOOOO 56709!**_

"Is that the ending?" Jaune said.

"It's so adorable!" Ruby said.

**First Stamatis dances. Later The blue haired girl dances. Then the red haired one dances. Then the green haired one dances. Lastly they dance together again, but the background changes. First, it's their future base. Then it's the Holy Councilor's place. Then the Earth. Then in front of TBS offices. Then in the ocean. Then in front of monuments, like the Parthenon, the Statue of Liberty, Tokyo Tower and the Eiffel Tower. Then back to the aesthetic background. Then the ending slowly turns black, ending.**

**End of BGM**

"That was the best ending I've ever seen!"

"I liked how the background was changing." Pyrrha said.

"And the song too. Very aesthetic. Also Stamatis feels... I don't know, like a real person." Blake said.

"It's the small details that make a character good." Nova said.

"I want to see more." Ruby said.

"Me too." Yang said.

"Okay, but first, another video." Nova said.

_(JoJo references: 15)_

**And done! It's been a long time. It would be great if you check out the Nova Force on Wattpad. The first three episodes are up. Like, follow, review and send a PM. See you soon!"**


	53. America first

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 51:**** America first but _ second**

"Okay, now how the turns will go?" Nova said.

"Turns?" Ruby said.

"You see, there was a trend years ago. Trump said that American is first. Then the Netherlands said that they are second. Then a lot of countries parodied that video and said that they're second. So, who's first?"

"Let's just go by our team letters." Blake said.

"Oh, me first." Weiss said.

"Why you? I'm the first letter!" Ruby said.

"You are American." Nova said.

"Oh, right."

"Wait! Why they go first and not us?" Nora said.

"Does it matter?" Nova said.

"Of course it does! It's like they're the protagonists and we're just side characters!"

"What? That's ridiculous!" Ruby said.

"Besides, we hang out a lot together. That would mean that we would have the same screen time with them. That does make us protagonists too." Jaune said.

"Or important and lovable side characters." Nova said.

"You're not making it better." Ren said.

"Can we just start watching? Alright, first Germany."

"You mean second." Yang said.

"Whatever."

**Germany (video by NEO MAGAZIN ROYALE)**

**This is a message from the government of Federal Republic of Germany. Dear Mr president, this is an introduction video about Germany. The best country in Europe. Better than the Netherlands. Bad people the Dutch. Everything is orange in the Netherlands, which we totally love, because you're orange too, but the Dutch are dangerous.**

"Why is his face orange?" Ruby said.

**Totally destroyed the hair of Rudi Völlers. A total disaster. Believe us.**

"He spat his hair?! If that happened to me, he'd be already dead." Yang said.

**German culture is the best culture in the world. We have Culcha Candela, great band, the German 3doorsdown and we have Pietro Lombardi and Sarah Lombardi. He is a normal person and she is a bitch. It's true, everyone says so. She's a bitch.**

"Great culture." Yang said.

"Wait, Lombardi? That doesn't sound German." Pyrrha said.

"They are German but their parents were probably immigrants. Germany is full of them." Nova said.

**This is the Oktoberfest. It's the best beerfest god ever created.**

"A festival about beer?" Weiss said.

"It's a really big event." Nova said.

**There is pee everywhere. You would love it, just same great pee, German beer pee, or as we call it in Germany, Bud Light.**

Some laughed a little with that.

"Disgusting." Weiss said.

**America has the KKK. Germany has the FKK. Pussies everywhere. So great. It's like being backstage at a Miss universe pageant.**

Yang already covered Ruby's eyes.

"Yang, stop it! Let me see!" Ruby said.

"No, I won't let your innocence die by bare men butts!" Yang said.

"Hehe, butts." Nora said.

"At this point everything is better than the KKK. Even a nudist beach." Blake said.

**Germany has a great history. We actually, i-it's true, have the best history in the world. Great politicians, great leader, so smart, great hair, great suit, look at his suit, he made Germany great again.**

"That isn't something to be proud of." Weiss said.

"Are they allowed to show him on Youtube?" Jaune said.

"First of all, that is from a TV talkshow and second it is. Like it or not, Hitler is a part of Germany's and the world's history and you don't forget stuff like that." Nova said.

**The media totally loved him, wrote only nice things about him. Great guy, total winner. His book: a best seller! It's true. Steve Bannon absolutely loves him. **

"That's not how it is." Weiss said.

"It's a parody. Of course it isn't." Nova said.

**Germany hosted two world wars in the last 100 years. They were the best world wars in the world, and we won both of them. Bigly. Anyone who says anything else, is fake news. Period.**

This made them laugh a little.

**After the war, we totally rebuilt Germany. Just did it. We just did built a new Germany on top of the old Germany. Whole new cities, fantastic! Even more beautiful than before. **

"It is actually beautiful." Blake said.

"Exactly like book covers." Jaune said.

**And we built a great, German wall. Just built it. And we made the Russians pay for it. It's true. People were literally dying for the wall. People in Germany love walls. **

"That's wrong in many levels." Pyrrha said, but couldn't help but laugh.

"Shut up, it's not funny." Weiss said while holding her laughter.

**We actually cried, when after 28 years, the wall got torn down by David Hasselhoff, who by the way is one of the least overrated actors in the world. It's a fact.**

"Wait, it was that recent?" Jaune said.

"It was still the 80s." Nova said.

"And I thought we weren't progressive." Yang said.

"Trust me, you are. More than you think."

**And he has a talking car. Absolutely fantastic.**

"Wow, that's so cool! I wonder if it has weapons." Ruby said.

"It has." Nova said.

"Yes!"

**And this is Angela Merkel. She is the best woman in Germany. She is great. She has the best smile. Look at that smile, baby. Angela Merkel will like you even more than Melania. It's true.**

"What a sour face." Nora said.

**But please don't try and grab her by the pussy, okay? We don't know what's down there.**

Just the thought of that made them want to vomit.

**We totally understand is going to be "America first", but can we just say: "Germany second"? The best wishes from Germany. We have the best wishes in the world. And by the way, when you push the red button to destroy Germany with nuclear weapons, this is how Germany looks like on the map(shows Italy).**

Everyone laughed.

"What country was that, because it can't be Germany." Yang said.

"Italy."

"It looks like a boot." Nora said.

"Speaking of which, on to the next video." Nova said.

**Italy (video by TheWorldSecond)**

**This is a message from the Italian Government. Dear Mr president, welcome to this introduction video about Italy. The best country of Europe.**

"This place is wonderful!" Weiss said.

"I want to go there." Pyrrha said.

"Now we know why you love Italy so much." Yang said.

"Most of the Mediterranean countries are beautiful." Nova said.

**We are the sunniest country of Europe. In Denmark, it rains all the time. In Netherland, it rains all the time. In Germany, it rains all the time! Instead, we have the sun, so much sun. Our sun is so big that you won't even need to spend all that money to look orange. Spectacular orange Mr president.**

Everyone laughed.

"Oh, it's a tan. I get it." Ruby said.

**We have an amazing history, dictatorship, war, oh you'll love it. We have been conquered by France, Spain, Austria, Turkey, Greece, Carthage, do you remember Annibal, and many more.**

"So many times?" Blake said.

"It's a friendly nation." Nova said.

**So if you want to conquer us Mr president, you're welcome. It's so easy, 'cause we are so kind. Now we know Mr president, our flag looks a little bit like Mexican flag, but we're so different from Mexicans. Oh so different. They have ehm... the mustache and ehm... all right, never mind. We made it first and the stole it! Damn Mexicans!**

"Wow, they had to say something racist." Blake said.

**We don't have the best language in the world, we have the best languages in the world! We have more than 8000 different languages! That's a lot!**

"Really?!" Ruby said.

"They're dialects. But then again, so many dialects? How do they understand each other?" Weiss said.

**We don't even understand each other! It's the perfect place for people like you. Think about it Mr president, the rest of Europe doesn't even have one percent of our languages. Losers. And if you will not understand us, we will use the hands! We are the best hands talkers of the world. It's so cool. And listen to this Mr president. **_**It's-a me, Mario! Mamma mia! **_**Yes Mr president, Mario is Italian.**

"But he's made in Japan." Ruby said.

**We also have Toto Cutugno. "Un italiano vero". Russians love him so much.**

"Really?" Blake said.

"Yeah. I've been there." Nova said.

"To Russia?" Yang said.

"Yes. I've been going to Abtoradio Diskoteka since it began. And he sang there a lot of times. Even with a russian choir."

**We have the best food in the world. Look at this mozzarella. Not mozzarella cheese. But real, fresh, handmade mozzarella. Sooo sexy.**

"Mmm, cheese." Nora said.

"Hey Yang, are you ready?" Nova said.

"For what? Wait... yes!" Yang said.

"For what?" Ruby said.

"1,2,3!"

Both: _"Pizza mozzarella,_

_Pizza mozzarella,_

_Rella, rella, rella, rella,_

_Rella, rella, rella, rella."_

"Oh no, they are two now. Why? Stop with the JoJo!" Weiss said.

"Nova, tell her to shut up." Yang said.

"Say it yourself." Nova said.

"Shut up Weiss.". Then they did a satisfying high five.

**You can grab them by the cheese. In our country no one will eat pizza with pineappl... ok, sorry.**

"Pineapple pizza is good." Pyrrha said. Then everyone looked at her with disappointment. "What?"

"It turns out than no one is perfect." Nova said.

**If you need a wall, Italy is the best place to ask! We have the best mafia in the world. Organized, practic.**

"I wondered when will he say about the mafia." Yang said.

**We can build your wall in three days. And you'll pay us in black. That's so cheap. We also have Matteo Salvini. He hates Mexicans, he hates Africans, he hates Europeans, he hates Italians too. We're sure you could be best friends.**

"Why would they vote for him, if he's a politician?" Weiss said.

"I don't know." Nova said.

**But overall, we have Silvio Berlusconi. We miss so much Berlusconi, his hair, his smile, his way to see the women. We love people like him. **

"He was looking at her chest!" Yang said while laughing.

"And on live TV." Blake said.

"Italians are like that." Nova said.

**And for this reason we love people like you Mr president. Mr president, we totally understand, "America first", but can we say "Italy second"? We hope so. Arrivederci Mr president.**

"Yes! He said it!" Yang said.

"Oh come on!" Weiss said.

**And if you want to push the red button to destroy Italy think about it. We are sure you have some cousin here. We have cousins everywhere... Point on France. They look so gay.**

Everyone laughed.

"That was unexpected." Ruby said.

"I'm next." Yang said.

**China (video by Hutong school)**

**This is a message from the Middle Kingdom. Dear Mr president, welcome to this introduction video about the best country the world. Our country is enormous, really huge. Not tiny, like the Netherlands, they wouldn't even count as a city here. Sad.**

"That is a big country." Jaune said.

**Now, we know you are a little bit obsessed with us (montage of Trump saying China). Oookaaayy Donald, we're sorry. We just like you as a friend(rejection).**

They laughed a little with that.

**You said we invented global warming and you know what? It's true.**

**Trump: Speaking of global warming, where is "we need some global warming!"?**

**Yep. You're welcome.**

"That can't be true." Yang said.

**We speak Chinese. It's the best language, a great language, just fantastic. It's got all the best characters and it's got thousands of them. Really, thousands of thousands. It's ridiculous, tens of thousands, maybe even millions, who knows?**

"It would take a lot of years to learn how to write and talk." Pyrrha said.

**It takes ages to learn them all, but you're smart, real smart. Studied at Warden, we know. You'll just need a few weeks to learn them all, one month tops. Food in China is just tremendous, okay? All right, we don't have Trump steaks, that's true, but other than that, we've got all the best dishes with all the best names, okay?(says names of food that I can't write, I think)**

"The names are weird, but they look delicious." Yang said.

"I was expecting a dog eating joke." Nova said.

"What?!" Ruby said.

"Oh yeah, they eat dogs and cats."

"Really?! No!"

**You heard about our wall, it's huuuuuuge. It's a really great wall. It's so long, have been there for thousands for years and kept out all the Mongolians. Total losers by the way. All the Mexicans too, all of them.**

"What's about the wall?"

"Stupid ideas." Nova said.

**Best part, we made the Japanese pay for it. And they don't even know. You van do whatever you want with the Japanese. Grab them by the sushi. It's terrific.**

Yang covered Ruby's eyes again.

"Come on, not again! Stop!" Ruby said.

"Whatever I want? Reeeen~?" Nora said.

"No." he said.

"Aww..."

**Now Mr president, we know you don't like China all that much and you want only "America first", we know, we get it, it's fine, meiwenti, we totally understand, but can we just say "China second?" for now.**

"It was good. Not great, but good." Yang said.

"I think it's my turn now." Jaune said.

**France (video by C8)**

**Dear Mr president, this is a message to you, the first best country in the world, from France. Holland said they're the second best country in the world, but we have our own Holland, François Holland. End of story.**

"At this point it's just which country is the best for vacation." Blake said.

**America has the bald eagle. In France we have the cock.**

Yang went to cover Ruby's eyes again, but she already covered them herself.

**Not the cock as in penis, that would be gay, but French cocks say cocorico.**

They laughed a little.

"Cocorico?" Ruby said.

**The French talk French and some some of the greatest people in the world speak our language. There's Charles Aznavour, Jean Dujardin and Celine Dion. Except Celine Dion isn't French, she's Canadian. And we welcome Celine, even when she was ugly.**

"That's a big transformation." Weiss said.

**We love French speakers, just love them, it's true. Except when they come from Algeria or Senegal or Mali. We just put those bad hombres on a plane, a beautiful plane, and we send them on home.**

"Why are all these videos so racist?" Blake said.

**So many great things come out of France. There's french fries, the French kiss, french toast and Eric Zemmour. Oh you're gonna love Eric Zemmour, okay? And you're totally gonna love our cheese. There's regular cheese, round cheese and stinky cheese that smells as bad as Steve Bannon looks. You're going to love it.**

"That is edible?! It's technically mold at this point!" Weiss said.

"It is." Nova said.

**The US knows how to win wars. We know how to host them. The first world war was fought in France. The second world war too. Our doors are open for you when you want to start the third, okay? We'll provide the wine.**

Everyone laughed.

"Sure, let's bomb them, they don't mind." Yang said comically.

**And we love wine so much that we brush our teeth with it.**

"Okay, that's stupid. Why?" Weiss said.

**The other wines are fake wine. We also have castles and rivers and beaches and mountains... and strikes. Our strikes are beautiful. If there was a world cup of strikes, we would be the champions.**

"Really?" Blake said.

"Yeah, they basically invented strikes." Nova said.

**And we have le Puy du fou. It's like Disneyland, Disneyland in the middle ages, with Jeanne D' Arc's ring and Phillipe de Villiers. You're gonna want to kiss him on his beautiful skin, okay?**

"Who's ring?!" Pyrrha said.

"He said... Jaune's." Ruby said.

"It's not written that way. It's a different name." Nova said.

"That's weird. It's almost the same as my name." Jaune said.

'What's going on with them? They are all based on something! Either a fairy tale or a famous person! Except for Blake. I still don't know who is she based on.'(I know, okay?)

**Because we kiss when we meet in France, not a gay kiss, that would be gay. Our kisses are like a manly hug, okay? But with lips.**

"I don't know, that's still pretty weird." Yang said.

**We love to kiss so much that we kiss two times, sometimes three, sometimes four, okay? You're gonna love it. And you're gonna want to kiss our ladies, okay? They're so beautiful that you're gonna want to grab them by the pussy, okay? Not all of them, but some of them.**

"Will they stop with that "grab them by the pussy" sentence? It's not funny." Blake said.

**We don't have a common border with Mexico, but we have a border with Spain, where they speak Spanish like in Mexico. And the Spanish are bringing in lots of drugs, they're bringing crime, they're rapists, so we've built a wall. It's a great wall. An awesome wall. It's called the Pyrenees.**

"That can't be true, right?" Ruby said.

"Well, the rapist part I think it's true." Nova said.

"That doesn't count! Rapists exist everywhere!" Blake said.

**Lafayette, Alexis de Tocqueville, Billy Crawford, our two nations have a great and common history.**

They laughed a little.

**Mr president, we know it's going to be "America first", bit can we just say "France second"?**

"That was probably the funniest of them all." Yang said.

"Oh, I'm next!" Nora said.

"Okay, but I don't know what country exactly. Norway, Sweden, Finland or Denmark?" Nova said.

"Uhh... I don't know! Sweden! No, Norway! I can't choose. Finland! Yes, Finland!"

"Okay, Finland."

**Finland (video by Noin viikon studios)**

**This is a message from the Republic of Finland. Dear Mr president, this is an introduction video about Finland, the best country in Europe. People say that Finland is the land of a thousand lakes. That's fake news, okay? There's more. Believe me. A million. Maybe a million and a half lakes.**

"Nova, when you takes to Earth again, can you take us on a world tour?" Weiss said.

"Sure." Nova said.

**At least as many lakes as there were people at your inauguration. It's true. Period. Our great nature inspired our great composers. Jean Sibelius, Toivo Kuula and of course, Darude.**

"Darude is Finnish?" Ruby said.

**He composed this masterpiece. It's called Sandstorm. People love it. It's great.**

"Wait, he said the nature inspired the composers. Finland doesn't look like a place with deserts." Ren said.

**We don't even have sandstorms in Finland. And still we made the best song about sandstorms. It's incredible. The Arabs couldn't do it. They failed. Lots of sandstorms but no songs about them. Total losers. Finnish food. It's the best, okay? For instance, this. Carelian Pie. The most pussy-looking food in the world.**

They couldn't help it but laugh.

**Grab as many as you like. It's great. And this is Mämmi. A traditional Finnish dessert.**

"It's just chocolate." Ruby said.

**It's kind of like your statements. Often mistaken for poo-poo. So sad.**

They burst into laughter.

**It's delicious. Mmm. Finland is the best at winning wars. Amazing. The first world war - we skipped it. Instead we fought each other, in a civi war.**

"That's even worse." Blake said.

**And we won, okay?**

"It's a civil war. Technically they lost." Pyrrha said.

**It was the best civil war God ever created. The second world war. Again, Finland, winning. We beat the Soviet Union. Beat them so bad, just to make them feel better, we gave them our eastern parts. Aren't we nice? We are so nice.**

"Yeah, right." Yang said sarcastically.

**Mr president, we have a lot in common. In America you have the KKK. In Finland we have supermarkets called KKK.**

"Why would you call them like that?" Weiss said.

**You like to build walls. We have built walls. Well, fences. Thousands of miles of fence along all the roads. To keep the moose out. And we made the moose pay for it. Because the moose, are bad hombres.**

"You can't be serious." Blake said.

**Some of them bring drugs. Some of them are rapists. Some of them, I guess, are good people, I don't know. The good ones though, we call them reindeer. We make them work for Santa Claus, in Lapland.**

This got a few laughs.

**And Finland has the best feminists in the world.**

"Is that a good thing? I mean it would be better if there was equality." Ruby said.

**Our first feminist was Minna Canth. **

"What?" Yang said.

**Yes, you heard right. Canth. You can call her a feminist Canth and she won't mind. It's great.**

They burst into laughter.

**Finland was the first country in Europe to give the women the right to vote, okay? And now we are so equal, we carry our feminists around with us everywhere. Good old Canth would be so proud. Fantastic.**

"Wait, so feminism is equality? I'm confused." Nora said.

**This is Tarja Halonen, the first female president of Finland. Great person, kept your Bush tidy. Like you, she was also orange. And great. But that's not all. She is the best Conan O'Brien impersonator in the world. Okay? It's true. So talented.**

"Holy crap, she does look like Conan." Weiss said while holding her laughter.

**Finally Mr president. We totally know it's going to be "America first", but can we just say "Finland second"? Best wishes from Finland. We have the best wishes in the world, okay? Better than the Netherlands, Switzerland, Germany and much better than Denmark. Which we call "Stupid Sweden".**

"I liked the moose part." Nora said.

"Me too. Who's next?" Nova said.

"Oh, it's me." Pyrrha said.

**Greece (video by RADIOARVYLAofficial)**

**This is a message to president Trump. Dear Mr president.**

"I like how his accent is a little broken." Yang said.

**We didn't use your voice, because even though you're certainly not really mentally stable, we do not think that you have not reached the talking to myself level.**

Everyone already started laughing.

"This is a good start."

**Yet... we hope you like this video, because we are all guessing what will happen to the things you don't like(boom). But you know what? We, the Greeks, are getting screwed by a lot of people lately, so one more, won't really have any effect on us.**

"This is already the best."

"So, the country's economy is bad." Weiss said.

"Was bad. It's getting better." Nova said.

**Greece! The country that invented Democracy. We owm the full copyrights of the Democracy and the world will have to give us money for that... Forever! Except you, of course. You can have it for free. After all, you never use it...**

"Bam! Roasted!" Nora said.

**Greece! The only country, whose Prime Minister acted on your behalf and gave to that awful, black, ex-president, the attitude he deserved.**

"Why is this so funny?!" Weiss said while laughing.

**Greece! The country which, like you have the Trump Tower, we have the White Tower.**

"I like how he say the word have. It's like _hiev._" Ruby said.

**Get it? WHITE Tower. And you know what a White Tower doesn't have?**

"Let me guess. Black?" Blake said.

**Black! No black at all! It used to be a prison. You can have it. You could use it for journalists. Greece! The country that owes to everyone not speaking Greek, but still, its government just founded a space program.**

"No way!" Ruby said while laughing.

**We are telling the truth! We have a space program and we are already using it!(Shows two astronauts relaxing and playing τάβλι on the moon, but the dices start flying away.)**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"They were- they were playing checkers on the moon!" Yang said while laughing.

"I can't believe they made that sketch!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**Greece! During ancient times, we had a motto: ΠΑΣ ΜΗ ΕΛΛΗΝ ΒΑΡΒΑΡΟΣ-**

"I wonder what does that mean."

**-which in a way means: "Everyone but us is shit". We know you like it...**

"It is?"

"Kinda. I mean back then it meant that they were cultured, they were human beings." Nova said.

"And the rest?" Weiss said.

"Who cares about the rest?"

"Wow, Pyrrha. I can't believe that we're shit for you." Yang said.

"What?! Of course you're not! You are my friends!" Pyrrha said.

"Relax, I'm just messing with you."

**Greece! We have a huge debt! It's huge! Yours is bigger, but you can print your own dollars. This is exactly what we want. Your dollars to repay our debt! And then don't worry! We have the way to make our debt great again in a minute! And we'll make the Europeans that you don't like, pay for it. Again. And if you're still not convinced, just wait for the next one!**

"What is it going to be?" Ruby said.

**(sexy voice) Greece, ugh.**

"Oh no." Blake said.

"No, no! I don't want to see!" Ruby said. She quickly put on her hood to cover her face and she covered her ears with her hands. "I'm too innocent to watch this!"

**The country that invented orgies. **

"I think we are all too innocent to watch this. Even Blake." Yang said.

"Shut up." she said.

**Lots of orgies... complicated orgies... big orgies...**

"Holy shit..."

**Just by stretching your hand at any direction, and you can grab a pussy(meow). We own the orgies copyright too, and we'll only give them to you. No one else but you, will ever have the right to take part in a threesome again.**

"Is it over?" Ruby said.

"Yeah, open your eyes now." Yang said.

"Oh thank god."

**We also know that you can't say no to beautiful legs. Well, we have three of them in Peloponnisos and three more in Chalkidiki. We also have Maria Menunos. It's true, she's ours!**

The boys got an instant boner seeing her.

'She's okay.' the girls of team JNPR thought.

"Damn boi, she thicc!" Nova said.

**We already arranged everything for you.**

**Someone: **_**Maria, could you please perform some sexual favours, to president Trump?**_

"No way." Blake said.

**Maria: **_**I will do anything for my country.**_

"You can't be serious." Weiss said.

**And for something more... special, we have Giannis Antetokoumpo. He is ours also!**

**Someone: **_**Giannis?**_

"Him too?!" Yang said.

**Giannis: **_**Yes?**_

**Someone: **_**Would you?**_

**Giannis: **_**Just bring him too me!**_** (gong)**

They burst into laughter.

**So, after all this, OK... we totally understand, it's "America first", but please can we say, "Greece second"? Or even better "Greece (fifty) FIRST also, state of America"?**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"Oh man, this is gold!" Yang said while laughing.

**And just to be on the safe side, if after all that, you don't like us and sometime in the future you feel like bombing us, let us remind you that our capital is a city called Athens. Here! There's one Athens here(California)! And there's another Athens, there(Utah)! And look, another one, there(Kansas)! There are 23 of them! Just pick one and bomb away!**

"No way!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**Thank you for watching. And remember: Greece is not only τζατζίκι, σουβλάκι, συρτάκι, orgies. Greece is great. It's true, it is!**

Everyone applauded because the video was great.

"That was very clever. I loved it." Yang said.

"Okay, so who's next?" Nova said.

"I guess it's me." Ren said.

"Great!"

**Japan (video by Japan Second)**

**This is a message from the government of Japan. Dear Mr president, welcome to this introduction video about Japan. It's a fantastic nation and I promise you're going to love us. We are in this corner of East Asia, sandwiched by China, Russia and America. Yes, we are so very close to your favourite country (China montage).**

"Why did they elect him in the first place?!" Weiss said.

"It says a lot, doesn't it." Blake said.

**And we made them pay for the wall. Our nation was founded on 660 BC. It's much older than yours. No, it's not the alternative facts. What? China is older? They had been conquered by Mongolians. Total losers.**

"Screw you." Yang said.

**We speak only one language, nihongo and don't speak Mexican. We don't even speak Ainu or Korean, but we use the letters that we borrowed from China called Kanji.**

"They make them tattoos? I bet they don't even know what they mean." Blake said.

**We're such a racially diverse country that we don't even acknowledge the minorities. I'm pretty sure you'd be very jealous Mr president. **

"That's very racist."

**Wait, did I just say that we don't acknowledge the minorities? But we love gays because we have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay. And we are happy as long as they stay within the TV screen, or in cartoons.**

"Please don't say more." Jaune said.

**Because we love and respect gays so much, we even got a gay man to give a porn start a blowjob on the national TV.**

"Oh come on!"

"We didn't want to see that!" Yang said.

"Who would show that on national TV?! It's outrageous!" Weiss said.

**We love building big towers all over our country. Just like you do.**

"Was that a big penis?!" Pyrrha said.

"Oh, I forgot about that. In Japan there is a festival about how great dicks are." Nova said.

"Unbelievable! You are a sick and perverted man!" Weiss said.

"I'm not like that at all!" Ren said.

"Yeah! Ren is as dense as Jaune!" Nora said.

"Exactly- wait what?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Jaune said.

**Oh, oops. Mr president, I know that you tried to ban Muslims entering your great nation recently, but we've done it before much better than you've tried. During the Tokugawa Shogun time, we had a boarder control policy called "Sakoku". We totally banned Muslims and all the foreigners... except for the Dutch. The Muslim ban ended when we met you Americans first in 1853 on this cruise ship with lots of guns and cannons. We tried to be the first in the world before-**

"Oh yeah, they were Nazis." Yang said.

**-but you really, really actually didn't like it. The second time we tried you didn't like it also.**

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

"Car exports." Nova said.

**By the way, this is why we're so good at exporting cars(shows Japanese metro stations).**

"They don't even fit in the train!" Pyrrha said.

**Because our public transportation is totally awesome. We have totally great healthy, very traditional food in our country, so we don't have any obesity problem like you do.**

"Burn." Nora said.

**If you see a fat kid, then we just make him into a sumo wrestler. And they have huge hands.**

"Wait, there's a fighting style for fat people?" Weiss said.

"I guess that you don't have many fat people here." Nova said.

"They're not so many." Ruby said.

**And guess what? Now we have your bestest friend as our Prime Minister. He got elected by saying things like "taking Japan back" and no to TPP. But after the dinner date with your former president Obama, he changed his mind completely. Now you've trashed TPP, he doesn't have to be a lier anymore, so you'll be his BFF. He likes president Putin too, by the way.**

"That was a cute dog."

**We like your cars. Our neighbors love us... totally. And your country's biggest popstar likes us. We love things that are cute and fluffy and we are good at grabbing our women by the pussy, which it makes you like us even more.**

"So they don't treat women equally." Pyrrha said.

**I've said it before but we've learnt our lesson already. In a very, very hard way. So, as our leader of the opposition says, can we please be the second? Uh... after America? By the way, this is what Japan looks like in case we haven't learnt our lesson (North Korea).**

"What country was that?" Yang said.

"North Korea. Anyway, what did we learn today?" Nova said.

"Everyone's racist." Blake said.

"Women are treated unequally." Pyrrha said.

"Japanese people are big pervs." Weiss said.

"And I'm always the first!" Ruby said(U ω U). (Imagine her with an uwu face)

"You sure are, sis." Yang said, messing Ruby's hair.

"Anyway, what's next?" Nova said.

"Surprise us."

_(JoJo references: 17)_

**And done! Like, follow, review, sent PMs and see my other work. Merry Christmas and a happy new year! See you soon!**


	54. So This Is Basically

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 52:**** So this is basically (two videos)**

"I can't think of anything to watch." Nova said.

"Put JoJo." Yang said and her teammates groaned.

"No! Not JoJo!" Weiss said.

"Why not?!"

"Because we got tired of the references! It's the same thing over and over again!"

"Okay, then. Who wants to see pony videos?". Only Weiss and Ruby raised their hands.

"I actually didn't understand that well what JoJo is about." Pyrrha said.

"Well, my little WW, I got the perfect one." Nova said. "And we will watch ponies next."

"WHAT?!" Yang said.

"YES!... I mean... sure, okay." Weiss said, blushing a little.

"Why?!"

"Because, at one point I was going to show you the videos of the golden age of Youtube. Anyways, let's start." Nova said.

**JoJo's Bizarre Adventure**

**Jim Jim's Bizarre Advim-vims is a long-running series about Johnathan Jojo and the rest of the Joj family.**

"JelloApocalypse? I like his videos!" Ruby said. "Can you put the Kingdom Hearts one later?"

"Sure." Nova said.

**Follow all the Jojis as they use magic breathing to punch vampires up until they teach the GHOSTS how to do it.**

"Ghosts?" Pyrrha said.

"They are the manifestation of our soul. Imagine our aura and semblances with a physical form." Ren said.

"You know?" Nova said.

"I've done my research.". Then they do the manliest handshake ever, shocking everyone around(insert rumble sfx).

"I'm glad that you didn't forgot your roots, my fellow otaku!"

"What is that sudden character development?!" Jaune said.

"Who are you?!" Nora said.

**Each character has a special power called a Stand. Stands allow for creative and unique encounters, based off of fun facts that the author skimmed off of Snapple caps. For instance, did you know that being in zero gravity makes you immediately pee your pants because your kidneys think that you have too much blood?**

"Really? You can learn that from bottle caps?" Ruby said.

"Is that true?" Blake said.

**Of course you didn't. Cause that's wrong. Some Stands get awesome powers like stopping time and making invisible zombies.**

"Those are incredible abilities!" Pyrrha said.

"I've got to admit, the art style is beautiful." Weiss said.

"Everyone in JoJo is beautiful." Yang said.

**But others just kill their user or trap them in a pilon forever.**

"Those Stands suck." Nora said.

**This means that some fights are super interesting, while others go on for **_**way too long **_**and **_**make me wanna die. **_**Follow each of the eight Jojis on their own unique adventures. Watch as they're joined by a series of weirdos who are introduced as complete sociopaths, but once they're defeated they become friends and their personality completely changes and sometimes their abilities too.**

"Wait, he licked him? Why?!" Weiss said.

"To see if he was lying." Nova said.

**With their powers combined they can stand in a circle and commentate, while their friends fight to the death and they just watch. Will their Stands be strong enough to defeat terrible villains, like: Dio. DIO again. DIO boyfriend(Pucci). DIO babies. Dio but he's a dinosaur(Diego). United States president(Valentine). (plays American music)**

"Dinosaur?" Jaune said.

"Alternate universe." Nova said.

**But no matter which Joj you follow, it's all about their goofy fights. Which part is your favourite? Fist of the North Joestar(Part 1), Indiana Joj and the friendliest Nazi(Part 2), the worst vacation ever(Part 3), David Bowie murder mystery (Part 4), *KING CRIMSON*(Part 5)-**

The Jojotards couldn't stop laughing.

"What was that?" Pyrrha said.

"King Crimson. He can erase time." Nova said.

"How?"

"Well, listen. He- and that's how he works."

"Huh?"

"Exactly."

"That makes sense." Nora said.

"What?!" Weiss yells.

**\- Florida man has no idea how weather works(Part 6), horse race with Jesus(Part 7),-**

"Your brother is in JoJo?" Ruby said.

"It's Him from another universe." Nova said.

**\- David Bowie memory mystery(Part 8). And just for you guys, we have an exclusive preview of JoJo part 9.**

"Oh, I can't wait!" Yang said.

**(Two kids, a girl who has wonderful weird hair(JoJo) and an unnamed Koichi rip-off walk in the streets of Morioh(?), when the unnamed Jobro sees a rat. But he then notices that the rat had sharp teeth.(I'll call him Koochie))**

"Okay, that's gross." Blake said.

"Ugh, I hate rats." Weiss said.

**Koochie: Wait a minute Joanne. Something's wrong... SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH THAT RAT!**

**(The rat explodes, injuring Joanne.)**

"That was fast!" Jaune said.

"Wait, that was an explosion. Why does she has puncture wounds?" Weiss said.

**Koochie: Joanne! She's covered in puncture wounds, even though that was an explosion!**

**Joanne: Don't worry, I'm okay! That bullet only hit me in the head. After passing through several dogs**

**(Shows dead dogs and the enemy Stand user, doing a pose)**

"Noooo! Poor doggies!" Rubybsaid.

**Koochie: Hey, you! What do you think you Duwang (chew) over there?**

"Hehe, duwang." Nora said.

**Joanne: You're the one behind this, aren't you?!**

**Enemy: That's right. It was me, a man wearing a dead animal! My Stand, [Smash Mouth], gives me the power to control other people's teeth!**

"That's a weird ability." Pyrrha said.

"It would be a Stand ability." Nova said.

**Koochie:(crying) If only I could help her somehow!**

"Then use your Stand!" Ruby said.

"That was _bizarre _scene, am I right?" Yang said and everyone groaned.

"If you say one more pun, I'll throw you out the window." Nova threatened.

'Yeah right.'

**Random guy: Use your Stand, you idiot!**

**Join the cast of colourful characters that almost sound like your favourite bands to avoid copyright issues. Many of the characters are cutboard cutouts, but their our cutboard cutouts. Like we drag them along in a whole adventure and they got some bumps, some wear and tear, like his eyes have some scratches, but they're still good. He's still good (DONUT).**

"No! Kakyoin!"

**Jotaro: Guh! DIO! You broke our cardboard cutout! DIO you-! (checkumato da)DIO!**

**Sometimes characters randomly make up new powers on the fly and other times they forget their powers entirely.**

"That makes me think. What if we can evolve our semblances into something new?" Pyrrha said.

"New abilities?" Jaune said.

"That would be possible. But the chances are low." Weiss said.

**Josuke: Man, sure is hard to find this serial killer. If only there was someone we knew with the power to locate our enemies by using some kind of Stand (old Joseph appears). Oh well.**

**JoJo characters dress on the cutting edge of fashion, which is to say the clothing has all been chopped up with a straight razor.**

"Who wears a net as a top?" Ruby said.

"Fags." Nova said.

**Like this poor boy who is dressed as a cheese.**

"His outfit is funny." Ruby said while giggling.

**But do not weep for cheese boy. They replaced his clothes with **_**kicking him out of the series.**_

"Aww, poor Fugo." Yang said.

"Don't worry. He has his own book." Nova said.

**And if that's not enough to distract you from his stupid outfit, then maybe you'll enjoy the most well-loved and classic piss drinking scene in all of anime.**

"What?! For real?!" Ruby said.

"He didn't swallow it but still." Nova said.

_**We interrupt this piss drinking to bring you a little more of JoJo part 9.**_

**(Joanne is hanging on a branch over a cliff with her wallet.)**

**Joanne: Phew! It's a good thing my empty wallet caught this branch or I would have fallen to my death**

**Enemy: I wouldn't relax just yet. Because my Stand, [Johnny Cash], IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY VRV!**

"That's an ad?" Jaune said.

"Pretty smart." Weiss said

**Joanne:... What?!**

**Enemy: That's right! By using VRV's excellent deals, you can watch all your favourites, from Crunchyroll, Funimation, Frederator**(ha, you really thought) **and more! All in one place! Thus saving you tons of money!**

"That's not an effective ability." Weiss said.

**Enemy: That's [Johnny Cash's] ability. Pockets, bank accounts, MOUTHS! I can feel anything with money! Watch. VRVRVRVRVRVRVRVRVRVRVRVRVRVRVTVRVRVRVRVRVRV!**

**(The wallet started getting filled with money.)**

"Okay, that's a cool ability." Yang said.

"Do you think that someone has a semblance like that?" Ruby said.

"Who knows? Maybe Vomit Boy will."

"Wait. You don't have a semblance?" Nova said.

"No, but someday I will unlock it." Jaune said.

"And to do that you need to train." Pyrrha said.

'How did he enter this school in the first place? Oh yeah, fake papers. But why? That old wizard is smart enough to figure it out.' Nova thought.

**Koochie: AAHHH! The wallet! It's too thick! It won't be able to hold on to the branch!**

**Joanne: Yeah, you wanna help out?"**

**Koochie: Nah, I'm good.**

"He's a bad friend." Ruby said.

**Enemy: And not only that. I can distract you with ad-free streams of all your favourite shows in one convient place! Like JoJo's Bizarre Adventure!**

**Joanne: That's not a very cohesive power set.**

**Koochie: Yeah,sounds like you're just making stuff up.**

**Enemy: Oh does it? Well you'll just have to find out with a free trial. By clicking the link below!**

**(The branch snaps and Joanne falls)**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

"Wow. That video was-"

"Don't say bizarre again." Blake said.

"I wasn't going to say that." Yang said and everyone sighed in relief. "It was a _Sheer Heart Attack_! Get it?". Everyone groaned again.

"Hmph." Nova said. Then it cuts outside where Yang gets thrown out the window and lands hard on the ground. Everyone looked outside shocked. "I warned her."

"Should we go down and help her?" Jaune said.

"Nah, she's okay. But when she gets her head out of the ground, she will come back really angry." Ruby said.

"I'll take that risk." Nova said.

* * *

A few minutes passed when Yang returned. Her hair still had some dirt on them(and possibly worms) and her eyes were red. She ignored their stares and went straight to the bathroom. "That went better than I expected." Ruby said. An hour passed. She came out of the bathroom, her hair looking good as always and she sat down. "Uh..."

"No, I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed because you don't have humor." Yang said. '(crying) Why isn't anyone laughing with my puns?!'

"Alright, next video." Nova said.

"Yes! I want to know more about this game!" Ruby said.

**Kingdom Hearts**

**Kingdom Hearts is a video game series that uses Disney characters to trick you into playing a fanfiction written by a monkey.**

"Oh this is starting strong." Jaune said.

"So the game is bad?" Ruby said.

**You play as Sora or one of his clones, the Sortas. Are they Sora? Sorta. Spend hundreds of hours searching for their missing friends by hopping through Disney movies, told with half the pacing and none of the charm. You can tell they're good friends, cause they sit next to each other and talk about how good of friends they are. They are good friends. They eat ice cream. No one is being coerced. Do not question.**

That made some of them laugh a little.

**Unfortunately for Sora the worlds are being overtaken by darkness. It's a Kingdom Hearts cutscene. You can say any words in any order. Darkness, darkness, light, dark, heart, dark, memories, light, dark, friendship, darkness.**

"With a bad story like he said, of course the dialogue would be bad." Blake said.

"Maybe the gameplay will be good." Ruby said

**In fact for the rest of this video let's replace the word darkness with bees and it'll make exactly as much sense. When someone is overtaken by bees-**

"The bees are evil!" Nora said while laughing.

**-their heart becomes a Heartless and their empty body becomes a Nobody and thennthose become problems.**

"Yeah they're gonna steal." Yang said.

**Only the Keyblade can free the hearts from the Heartless and there's only one Keyblade wielder and that's Sora. Only one! Only one(three). Only one(five). Only one(eight). Only one(eleven). Only one(TWELVE).**

"They either think of the stories as they do each game or they forget stuff. You can't do mistakes like these otherwise." Blake said.

"Or they reveal more as time passes." Jaune said.

**O-okay, alright, I-I-I guess just anyone can use these things now, wh-what-whatever, whatever, I don't care, just handing these things out like LOLLIPOPS! Join Sora, Goofy and Dinald's unconscious body as they fight against the forces of bees. Instead of finding Kairi or her various Kairi colours, spend 60% of each game doing the Disney characters' chores while fighting Maleficent, who is absolutely convinced that she is the main antagonist.**

**Xehanort: Girl please.**

That made them laugh a little.

"_Girl please._"Ruby repeated.

"She looks very evil." Weiss said.

**Who are all these people that turned into the Heartless that you're fighting? Who knows? Probably all the characters from the Disney properties nobody cares about. Sorry Black Cauldron. Maybe they're all the people from the completely empty lifeless overworlds.**

"So they gameplay is boring." Yang said.

"Yeah, if there's no exploring then it's not that enjoyable." Jaune said.

"That doesn't say anything. Maybe the fighting mechanics are good." Ruby said.

**Luckily for him, Sora is well-equipped to deal with these enemies, thanks to the intricate combat starting. **

"See?"

**Start the game by mashing one button and finish the game by mashing TWO buttons, cause every single ability map to the exact same. Cause nothing says fun like playing a video game in one hand while shuffling through a deck of cards in the other.**

"You were saying?" Yang said.

"Those were probably the basic attacks. Maybe it has some cool unlockable moves."

**And if you soend 4000 hours grinding every single ability and giguring out their weird EXP requirements, you can unlock abilities the game thinks should be optional. Like dodging!**

"You unlock dodging?!"

"Wait a minute. The BIG slappy? Spare change? Dead-ass Donald?" Yang said, laughing.

"You can jump now?! Skip cutscenes?! It's not only boring, it's also painfully long!" Weiss said.

"C'mon, the game must have something good!" Ruby said.

**Is there a lingering question that you have after playing one of the games? Well don't worry, cause the rabid fanbase always has the answer! It's just never satisfying. Despite not releasing a main game in 13 years, the fans have stayed true, thanks to some genuinely great boss fights, memorable music, and a few other things (SoraxRiku). **_**Oh yeah~!**_

"Nooooo!" Yang said, covering Ruby's eyes.

"I hate fanfictions like that." Nova said.

**Join the hype and get excited for the new world Disney has acquired throughbtheir cutthroat business practices.**

"The Avengers?!" Jaune said. "And Star Wars?!"

"I want Spiderman to be in it." Ruby said.

**Then watch the nostalgia crumble around you as you ask yourself: Wow, is the writing always this bad. It was. It was always this bad.**

**(Rainbow connection. It starts at Kermit's swamp, as Dark Kermit is sitting on a log.)**

"Kermit?!"

"Okay, I think that would be a plus, if they added Muppets." Nova said.

**Kermit: Ignore the light, Sora. The bees are nothing to fear. Control them! CHANNEL THEM! Become a beekeeper. You can have all these powee and MORE! YAAAAAYY!**

**Sora: It's Goofy! They put bugs in him!**

**Donald: Goofy, why would you betray us?! We're supposed to be friends!**

"He's a sock!" Yang said while laughing.

**Goofy: Ha-yuck. The Goofy you know is gone... I'm Foygoox! I don't need friends. I've been manipulatin' you since the start!**

"He's a paper bag!" Ruby said while laughing.

**Foygoox: All so I can something, something, Keybalde!**

**Sora: *processing***

They all laughed.

**Sora: No way! I don't believe it! The Goofy we know is still in there!**

**Foygoox: Oh yeah? Watch me remove the subtitles so nobody can understand Donald anymore!**

**(The subtitles get removed)**

"That's just mean."

**Donald: *Donald noises***

They couldn't stop laughing.

**Sora: Riku! Wait, I mean Donald!**

**Foygoox: You see, in the 10 seconds I was dead in Kingdom Hearts 2, Xemnas came by and replaced my body with a digital double-**

**(It zooms to the soulless puppets, while the song in the background becomes louder.)**

"I haven't anyone sing that bad in my life." Weiss said.

"And I wanted to play that game." Ruby said.

"It's for the better. Now, who's ready for ponies?" Nova said.

"I am!" Ruby and Weiss said.

"This will be painful." Jaune said.

* * *

**And done! They will get roasted soon enough. Next up are pony videos. Woohoo. Anyway like, follow, review, sent PMs and check my other work. The link is in my profile page. See you soon!**


	55. Friendship is violence

**I made me do this. I did research. I needed that demographic. Why didn't you stop me?**

* * *

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 52:**** Friendship is violence**

"Oh, we're watching the classics now." Nova said.

**(Title drop)**

_**FRIENDSHIP IS VIOLENCE!**_

"Oh come on! Why can't it be a normal video?!" Weiss said.

"You're lucky that I put this and not the .mov videos, which I will put one day." Nova said.

**(Pinkie Pie appears outside Applejack's farm)**

"What is that tattoo?" Ruby said.

"That's a cutie mark. Every pony gets one when they realise what is their purpose in the world." Weiss said.

"Then why is it a bong?" Yang said.

**Pinkie: Applejack! Are ya home? Applejack? APPLEJACK!**

Some of them laughed.

"This is a great start."

**(She opens the door. She walks through the bloody hallway.)**

**Pinkie: Uuuuhhh... Hello?**

"I don't like this." Ruby said.

**Pinkie: (she sees Applejack eating Fluttershy)**

Everyone got really shocked and disgusted.

"What the fuck?!" Blake said.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Jaune said ready to throw up. Weiss fainted because of the graphic image.

"Why is it so detailed?!" Ruby said.

**Pinkie: *screams***

**Apple: OH MY GOD, CALM DOWN! SHH, SHH, SHUT UP, CALM DOWN!**

**Pinkie: *still screaming***

**Apple: JESUS CALM THE FUCK DOWN!**

**Pinkie: *screaming* You're not sharing?!**

"What? Did she just say sharing?" Pyrrha said.

"Aww... what happened?" Weiss said, after waking up.

**(Awkward pause. Now they're both eating her)**

Some of them actually laughed.

"This is not funny!"

**Twilight: AH! What the fuck are you doing?! (Returns home) Spike, take a note.**

"She has a dragon pet?! Cool!" Nora said.

"It's not her pet. It's her little helper." Weiss said.

**Twilight: Dear Princess Celestia, I just learned that Applejack and Pinkie Pie are actually bloodthirsty CANNIBALS! Also pegasus doesn't taste that bad.**

"What?" Ruby said.

**Celestia: *wtf face***

Everyone laughed.

"This is so stupid." Weiss said.

**Spike: Oh no, look. It's Discord.**

**Discord: Hey guys! It's me! Discord! (Everything explodes)**

They laughed again.

"What is that?" Ruby said.

"That's Discord. He's like Nova, if he was insane." Weiss said.

"He's having fun!" Yang said.

**Twilight: Oh no! Discord's destroying Ponyville again!**

"I like the pink one's face! It's like (°O°)." Ruby said while laughing.

**Twilight: We need to find the Elements of Harmony, fast!**

**Spike: But Fluttershy's dead! We can't do the Elements of Harmony without her!**

**Pinkie: Nobody panic! I KNOW WHAT TO DO.**

"This will be interesting." Jaune said.

**Discord: (having fun)**

"Aww, he's having fun!" Nora said.

**Pinkie: Hey, Discord!**

**Discord: Oh?**

**Pinkie: You seem a little "discoordinated". HAHAHA?!**

Yang couldn't stop laughing.

"She's dead." Blake said.

**Discord: *dis n**** face* (blows her up)**

"I don't feel bad that she died." Nora said.

**Applejack: Oh no! Not Pinkie Pie!**

"You ate your friend!" Ruby said.

**Celestia: Heh. It's okay, guys! I actually showed up to fix something for once.**

"She must be useless." Blake said.

"A lot." Weiss said.

**Celestia: Discord!**

**Discord: Yes?**

**Celestia: STOP IT!**

**Discord: No.**

"Well, that sucked." Yang said.

**(Celestia stabs Discord with her horn)**

Everyone was surprised.

"That was sudden!"

**Discord: *slowly dies, coughs and screams* *ded***

"That was disturbing." Ruby said.

**Celestia: Hey look, I did it! I'm magical!**

**Applejack: TOP KEK!**

"That wasn't magic, that was... death!" Weiss said.

**Twilight: I guess everything worked out in the end.**

"She's still dead." Blake said.

"And that other pony." Ruby said.

**Applejack: Well gee, it looks like we didn't need those Elements of Harmony after all!**

**Rainbow: Hey guys, look it's me! Rainbow Dash!**

**Spike: Oh look, it's Rainbow Desh.**

"Wow, his positivity shines the entire world." Yang said.

**Twilight: You missed the big fight! Rainbow Dash, where have you been?**

**Rainbow: Not doing Satanic rituals, that's for sure!**

"Satanic rituals?!" Pyrrha said.

"So your brother has a pony follower." Blake said.

"No." Nova said.

**Fluttershy: Hey guys. I'm okay now.**

"She's alive?!" Pyrrha said.

"Why does she have a manly voice?" Ruby said.

**Twilight: No way! Check it out! Fluttershy is okay!**

**Applejack: Now I wonder how that happened?**

**Rainbow: Not Satanic rituals, that's for sure!**

"In exchange of what?" Nova said.

**Celestia: So, Twilight! What did you learn about friendship today?**

"Don't be friends with cannibals?" Nora said.

**Twilight: Today I learned that Piemations' content is slowly getting more and more autistic.**

**(What a weird picture)**

"I think autistic is a light word." Yang said.

**Rarity:(cartwheels) Dresses!**

"Well, that was stupid." Yang said.

"Can you put a normal video? Please!" Weiss said.

"Fine!" Nova said.

* * *

**And done! Next... another pony video! Like, follow, review and sent a PM. If you want to check my other story, the Nova Force, the link is in my profile page. Episode 5 is up. See you soon!**


	56. Smile HD

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 54:**** Smile HD**

"No, please!" Don't put a normal pony video!" Yang said.

"Yeah, I would rather watch more JoJo." Blake said.

"Shut up! It's my turn to pick videos!" Weiss said.

"This will be very painful to watch." Jaune murmured. No one failed to see Nova's sneaky and slightly devilish smile.

**(Red disclaimer that is not suspicious at all)**

"I don't like this." Ruby said.

**(Music starts)**

**MisterDavey Presents...**

**An animation by Dave Davey...**

**Composed by Foozogz...**

**SMILE**

"I like the beat."

**It shows Pinkie Pie running through the fields and she's very super duper happy.**

"Okay, for a fan animation it's good. Especially an old video like that." Jaune said.

"It's even better than the actual show." Weiss said.

**She was going to meet her friends, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack and Rarity for a picnic. Twilight sees her and waves at her.**

"And you said that you don't like it." Yang said.

"But the disclaimer was weird." Ruby said.

**Pinkie's smile grew bigger. She then jumped and kicked Twilight in the head so hard, it ripped it off.**

Everyone was shocked to see something like that. Some of them even screamed. Nova even took a photo of their shocked faces. "OHHHHH! YOOOOOOOOOOOOSHI!" he said.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Weiss said.

"What just happened?!" Pyrrha said.

"I knew it!" Ruby said.

"What the hell is wrong with people from Earth?!" Weiss said.

**Her friends watched with terror what happened. Pinkie jumped high at Rarity, who was scared of what would happen. She literally smashed her head with a punch.**

"Holy shit!" Jaune said.

"Oh my-!" Pyrrha was about to throw up. "Her brain!"

"That's really gross." Blake said.

"And kinda cool." Yang said.

**She turned towards her next victim, Applejack.**

"Why was she smiling?!" Ruby said.

**She pinned her on a tree, so she won't leave. She was about to beat the living shit out of her, her smile becoming more psychotic.**

"Her smile is creepy!"

**A Rainbow Dash, cool as always, happened to fly nearby when she saw Applejack being beaten up. She quickly ****DASHED**** over there and kicked Pinkie Pie really hard, knocking her out. Or not.**

"Damn!" Yang said.

**Inside Pinkie's brain, her Kill-o-meter went to **_**YOU'RE FUCKED **_**level, making her unlock her full power.**

"What just happened?" Ruby said.

"I think she just went Super Saiyan." Jaune said.

"Wow, apples over there looks terrible." Yang said.

**The others saw her, with spark surrounding her, and her smile big as always. She charges her Kamehameha at them. Dash avoids it but Applejack got hit and she turned into nothing.**

"She did become Super Saiyan!"

"Even worse. She became Buu." Nova said.

**Pinkie quickly rushed to Dash and kicked her upwards, sending her in the sky. She flew over her and kicked her down. When she landed, Pinkie stomped on her belly, making Dash throw up her guts.**

Everyone felt really disturbed and disgusted.

"Make it stop with the deaths!" Pyrrha said.

**Pinkie turnes to see her final victim, Fluttershy.**

"Not Fluttershy!" Weiss said.

**She launches a Death Beam, resulting in an explosion. She started crying, but stil smiling.**

"If you feel sad, why would you kill them?!" Nora said.

**But from the smoke emerges Fluttershy, using her full power and starts attacking Pinkie with a flurry of punches.**

"What?! She has powers too?!" Weiss said. "What's going on with this video?!"

"It turned into a Dragon Ball parody!" Ruby said.

**She tackled her and started slamming her around multiple times before doing a Dragon Throw, sending her in the sky** (I know my Budokai)**. She flew and continued her flurry of punches.**

"How much blood do they have?!" Pyrrha said.

**She unleashed some heavy hits, before ending them with a hard punch innthe gut, sending her back. Pinkie then took the subtitles and smacked Fluttershy with them.**

"This is too chaotic!" Nora said.

**She send her tonthe ground and she charged her most powerful attack. A giant fuckimg Planet Burst. Fluttershy saw how big it was.**

"You've got to be kidding me." Weiss said.

**Pinkie threw it at Fluttershy, as we see her body disintegrating slowy and Pinkie's smile growing. In the wend, the explosion was so big that it destroyed the planet, ending the video.**

Everyone was speechless. "Ahhh~... such a classic." Nova said.

"It was disturbing at the beginning... but then it became cool! That was an amazing fight!" Ruby said.

"I thought you said that you were going to put a normal video!" Weiss said.

"Fuck you! You really thought that I would a normal My Little Pony video?! If you want to see one, do it yourself! Don't make other people see something they don't want to see!" Nova said.

"Isn't that what you are doing since we met?" Blake said. Then Nova glared at her, with that face that says 'Shut up or I'll fucking murder you'. "I'll shut up now."

"Anyway, I have to go now. See-". Then suddenly his phone started ringing. "Hello? Uh huh. Uh huh. Now? Okay."

"Who was it?" Ruby said.

"Your principal."

"Professor Ozpin? Why?" Weiss said.

"Probably for a job. I'll see what he wants." He then teleported away.

"He could just walk to his office." Jaune said.

* * *

Meanwhile, inside Ozpin's office, he has just ended his call. "Professor Ozpin, why would you call him?" Glynda said.

"You have a problem?" a voice behind her said, making her jump. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"This isn't funny!"

"Of course it is! You women are adorable when you get teased, isn't that right Ozzy?"

"I suppose so." Ozpin said.

"You need to show more respect to-". Glynda's mouth turned into a zipper.

"Shut up now. Okay, Oswald. You wanted to meet me. Why?" Nova said.

"Well, you said that you also are a DJ." Ozpin said.

"You need a DJ? Sure! Is it for a dance? I still don't know why fighting schools have dances in the first place. But why me?"

"Actually I was just curious. You said music from another world."

"It's not that different. It just has more twerking. So, when is the dance?"

"In three days."

"Yeah, I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because my girlfriend and her band are taking part in a contest. What was its name? Oh yeah, _So you think you can sing._ I don't know if you remember them. They were students here. Does team FRAL ring a bell to you?"

"Of course. I remember miss Marrone and her friends. I remember every single student that passes through Beacon. Besides, we have their files."

"So miss Marrone is following her dream?" Glynda said.

"Yeah. Anyway, sorry that I can't do your favor. But I'll give you this. It's my party playlist. Play that."

"Thank you." Ozpin said.

"No problem. That will be 300$."

"Dollars? I'm sorry but I don't know how much lien are 300... dollars."

"Add a zero."

"Excuse me?! 3000?!". That price made him lose his calm demeanor.

"I'm giving you _my_ playlist! You're lucky that I'm giving it for a low price!"

"Low?!" Glynda said.

"You want it or not?"

"...*sigh* Okay." Ozpin said.

"What?!" Glynda said.

"Thank you, anime Dumbledor. Now I must go. Bye!". Then Nova teleported away.

"You just payed 3000 lien for a CD! Why are you still letting him treat you like that?! And why do let team RWBY with all that stuff?!"

"Because... you have no idea what kind of power he posseses. You heard him. Imagination. He's basically a god with that semblance. And to be honest... I'm a little worried about what he would do.".' Thank the gods that he's not on her side. But too bad that he's neutral.'

* * *

Nova reappeared back to team RWBY's dorm. "I'm back." Nova said.

"What happened?" Blake said.

"He wanted a DJ for your dance."

"Yes! Nova is the DJ!" Yang said.

"But I denied."

"What?! Why?"

"Because my girlfriend and her band are in _So you think you can sing _at the same day and I don't want to miss that."

"Really?! If she wins, she will sign a deal with Lucas Records!" Weiss said.

"I know. But I gave him my playlist and made him pay 300$ for it. What a sucker."

"How much is that?" Jaune said.

"3000 lien."

"What?! Professor Ozpin payed 3000 lien for a CD?!" Pyrrha said.

"Uh huh. Between us... I think he's afraid of me."

"Wow... since the day you came you've done a lot of things that I'd never thought we would see." Weiss said.

"Yeah, you slapped Goodwitch's ass, scared Ozpin, killed an entire cult, destroyed a White Fang base and sang about your erection." Yang said.

"Yeah, I made your life interesting. Anyways, good night.". And with that, he left.

"Hey, he left something!" Nora said.

"Those look like... gaming consoles." Yang said.

_(JoJo references: 18)_

* * *

**And done! I was originally going to do ToucanLDM because his videos are hilarious, but I wanted to do something classic. Also, some things I want to explain. First, I know now that Candi is a prostitute. Second, I know Blake is based on Beauty and the Beast, but Nova never met the beast, he doesn't know. Third, Volume 7. Wow, she killed Ruby's mom, what a shock. The show became predictable. I bet that there are 4 more volumes until the show is over. Back to my story, there are some things I want to show:**

**Sonic shorts**

**Pony. mov series**

**Super Mario Bros Z**

**JoJo memes**

**Nazo Unleashed**

**April Fools special chapter**

**Gaming chapters**

**FRAL song covers**

**Pick the ones you like for next time. Like, follow, review, sent a PM and read the Nova Force. See you soon!**


	57. Popstars

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 55:**** Popstars**

It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing- sorry, wrong line. Nova was in Vale to check out what Fiona was doing. It was one day before the big day and wanted to see her practicing for tomorrow. She told him that she was in a small area in the city centre. When he entered the studio, he saw them singing and dancing with colours and outfits that you would see in a K-POP video. When they finished the song, he was yelling: "BRRRRRAVO!"

"Alright girls, take a break. Nova!" Fiona said.

"Fiona!". They hugged each other, making a squeaky sound. (Aww!) "You were very good! All of you were very good!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I enjoyed it, even though I'm not a K-POP fan."

"What is K-POP?" Lillie said.

"Type of music. Anyway, do you have any serious competition?"

"There are a few." Fiona said.

"Yeah, like Grimm Eclipse! They're awesome. If we don't win, I hope they will." Rita said.

"What about The Monicas?" Lillie said.

"Oh please, The Monicas are lame."

"I don't know, they seem like people that would lose that easily." Alice said.

"Excuse me, the who?" Nova said.

"The Monicas, four girls from Atlas that have the same name."

"They're like the stereotypical popular bitches in all the movies and series about high school." Lillie said.

"They sound cheesy, so I'm pretty sure that they'll lose. Also, they're probably cheaters." Nova said. Unknown to them, there was someone spying them. The spy was invisible using camouflage.

_"What are they doing now?"_

"They are talking shit about us." she said, on the phone.

* * *

On the other side, the unknown woman was trying not to get mad. "Those bitches... I hate them! I won't forgive them for what they did to us." she said.

_FLASHBACK_

Four girls with identical outfits and different hair colour, blue, green, yellow and black respectively, were outside the same studio. They were thinking about using the studio to practice, but- "Someone already rent it?! Who?!" the blue haired one said.

"Oh, you wanted the studio? Sorry. Hey, aren't you The Monicas? Again sorry, but we rent it first." Fiona said who just arrived.

"Oh... it's okay! Don't worry, we will go somewhere else!"

"Okay. See you at the contest!". When FRAL went inside, Monica #1 got furious.

"Those bitches are DEAD!"

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"I won't forgive those faunus whores! Now tell me, how good was the song?"

_"Better than ours. Actually, they might win." _the spy, who was Monica #3(the blond one), said.

"What?! Okay, it's time for plan B."

_"Why do I have to do it?"_

"Because you are the one with the camouflage semblance! Do I have to remind you everything?"

_"Oh yeah."_

"They probably have recorded all their practices in video. Cause a distraction, find the computer with the video and copy the best one."

"We are going to steal their song? Why can't we just make a better one?" Monica #2 (the green haired one) said.

"Because I want to see their faces when they see us doing their song and winning."

_"What kind of distraction?" _Monica #3 said.

"How should I know? Do something! Ugh! Idiots!". Then she ended the call.

* * *

'What kind of distraction?'

"We've been practicing all morning. Can we go for a smoothie?" Lillie said.

"Yeah, I want one too. Let's go." Fiona said. They locked the place and left.

"That's good enough." Monica #3 said.

* * *

At a nearby cafeteria, they girls and Nova were drinking smoothies.

"You have a present for me?" Fiona said.

"I was planning to give it to you on Valentine's Day, but I thought of something better. Here it is." Nova said.

"... It's a ball, what about it?" Rita said. Nova opened it and from it came out-

"Eevee!"

"AWW! IT'S SO CUTE!" the girls said.

"Since you love pets I thought I'd gave you the cutest Pokémon." Nova said.

"Oh my gosh, I love it! Thanks Nova!" Fiona said.

"Why can't I have a boyfriend as sweet as you?" Lille said.

"Wait, what is a Pokémon?" Alice said.

"A Pokémon is a monster that you can train to battle other owners or have it as a pet." Nova said.

"You can use an adorable little creature like this for battle? But it's so small and cute! Isn't that right?" Rita said. She was close to Eevee and her sharp teeth was scaring it. It ran to Fiona's hug.

"Aww, you're scared of her? Don't worry she doesn't bite. She's very nice." Fiona said, rubbing its head with her index. That's how small it is.

"Why does this always happen? Are my teeth that scary?"

"Well, not for me." Alice said.

"Aww, thanks babe."

"What are you gonna name it?" Lillie said.

"Hmm... what is its gender?" Fiona said.

"It's a girl." Nova said.

"Hmm... her name is Candy."

"Sounds great! I would be very disappointed if you named it Fifi or something."

"Who names their pets Fifi these days?"

"A lot of people, trust me. Also, here's his food." Nova gave her two big bags of Pokémon food, which made her fall backwards. "Some toys, a Pokédex if you want to learn more about Pokémon and some stones if you want to evolve it."

"Thanks... oww..."

"What are these stones?" Rita said.

"These are the Water stone, Fire stone and Lightning stone. These can evolve Pokemon of the same type. Since Eevee is a normal-type, it has a lot of evolutions. Some can be achieved with training, or friendship or some other fairy magic shit." Nova said.

"Having a Pokemon must be difficult." Lillie said.

"If you have one it's easy. If you have more then you can store it in a computer."

"... Huh?"

"That's what happened in the game."

"Wait... Pokémon are video game animals?" Alice said. Nova nodded.

"That's not a way to treat animals!"

"I think we should go back to the studio. Come on, Candy." Fiona said. Candy hopped on Fiona's shoulder and they left.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the studio, Monica #3 was copying the video. "Come on, a little more." Seconds later, the job was done. "Finally, now to get out.". Then she heard someone unlocking the door. She quickly used her camouflage and hid somewhere.

"I never asked. What is the name of the group?" Nova said.

"It's KD-8. Alright, time to continue." Fiona said. But then she and Lillie heard something. "What was that?"

"Did you hear it?" Lillie said.

"Was someone here?" Alice said.

"I think so."

"It was probably a rat." Nova said.

"Rat?!" Alice said. From terror she jumped in Rita's hug.

"Alice, get down! Your wings are covering my face!" Rita said.

"Wait... you are afraid of rats?" Nova said. Alice nodded. "But you're part hawk! Hawks eat rats! How can you be afraid of them?"

"Just because I'm part animal it doesn't mean that I have animal quirks!" Alice said.

"Okay sorry. Anyway, I have to go now. See you tomorrow."

"Bye Nova." Fiona said and he left. "Let's continue.". Then all of a sudden, a rat passed them, making Alice fly from of terror, crashing the roof. "*sigh* Godamnit.". Alice was with her head stuck in the roof and her body dangling.

* * *

The day of the contest came. The seats were full and the bands many. Nova managed to find a seat in front. The competition was big. All of them were good. When Grimm Eclipse was done, there were only two groups left, The Monicas and KD-8. The Monicas again were wearing identical rainbow pattern outfits. "Good luck, girls! Break a leg!" Fiona said because she was a good sport.

"Thanks!" Monica #1 said. 'I hope you lose yours.'. When they started their song, the girls were completely shocked. "Wait... that's our song!" Rita said.

"They stole our song!" Lillie said.

"How did that happen?! No one knew about it and no one got inside the studio!" Alice said.

"Maybe that sound we heard wasn't a rat at all." Fiona said.

"Yeah, it was a sneaky fox!" Rita said.

"Wait, what? What's going on?!" Nova said. He stood up and went quickly backstage.

"Hey you! Where are you going?" the security guard said.

"Step aside."

"Do you have a pass?"

"I said step aside."

"... Okay.". The security guard made way for Nova, thanks to his tricks and went to the girls.

"What is going on?! Why are they singing your song?!"

"They stole it! Now what are we gonna do?! *sigh* All of this for nothing."

"Hey, don't give up now. You will win."

"How? We don't have a song to perform." Alice said.

"You will win, because you have me."

"Huh?!" the girls said.

"Trust me.". He then put his hand on their heads and they let him do his thing. "Now you do have a song."

"Wow... that is a cool song. But we haven't practiced it." Rita said.

"You did. No, you didn't, but you don't have too.". He snapped his fingers and changed their outfits. The Monicas done their song and now it was the moment, you the readers didn't give a shit about.

"And now everyone, it's time for the final group. Everyone let's give it for KD-8!" the host said.

"Let's see what the little farm will do. Not that they will beat us." Monica #1 said. The lights turned off. Music started playing.

**BGM: Popstar - (by K/DA) **(English lyrics from a video by Pastelle)

The lights turn on again, along with neon lights and smoke. Then the girls emerged from the smoke.

_F: You know who it is_

_Coming 'round again_

_You want a dose of this _

_FRAL: Right now it's KD-8, uh!_

_R: I'm__ a goddess with a blade_

_Don't forget, don't be afraid_

_Come on, shout my name_

_F&R: Loud__, loud, loud, loud__!_

_R: I__ could take it to the top _

_You know I can never stop_

_I'm the best cause I'm a_

_F&R: Bad__ gal, gal, gal__!_

_A: And__ when I start to talk like that (__F: like__ that)_

_Oh, you won't know how to react_

_F&A: I'm__ a picture perfect face_

_With__ that wild in my veins_

_You can hear it in my growl, growl, growl, growl_

_L: So__ keep your eyes on me now_

_And I can show you what we're all about_

_We're on the highest__ level_

_So just surrender into the sound_

_We got it all in our hands now_

_So can you handle what we're all about?_

_We're so tough (__FRAL: Tough__), not scared to show you up (__FRAL: Up__)_

_FRAL: Can__ you feel the rush now?_

_Ain't nobody bringing us down, down, down, down, down, down_

_They could try but we're gonna wear the crown_

_You could go another round_

_Round, round, round, round, round, round_

_Wish you luck, but you're not bringing us down_

_We go hard, 'til we get it, get it_

_We go hard, we so in it, in it_

_We Pop Stars (Pop Stars), only winning, winning now_

_Ain't nobody bringing us down, down, down, down_

The Monicas couldn't believe what they were seeing. Then the lights turned off for the neon show.

_R: Hey__! You ready for this? _

_See__, my looks be feelin' just like__ magic_

_Take you down and then one shot, there, I've killed you_

_F&R: I've got it__, uh!_

_Pow-pow __do you even know? (F: Do you know?)_

_You can't handle me even though (F: Even though?)_

_Now you really wanna try me, yeah_

_F&R: I'm__ trouble and you're wanting it_

_R: I'm__ so cold (__F: So__ cold)_

_When I move that way, you gonna be so blown (__F: So__ blown)_

_I'm the realest in the game, uh!_

_A: Say__ I'm on fire with a blade_

_You're about to hear my name_

_Ringing in your head like, oh..._

_F: So__ keep your eyes on me now_

_And I can show you what we're all about_

_We're so tough (__FRAL: Tough__), not scared to show you up (__FRAL: Up__)_

_FRAL: Can__ you feel the rush now?_

_Ain't nobody bringing us down, down, down, down, down, down_

_They could try but we're gonna wear the crown_

_You could go another round_

_Round, round, round, round, round, round_

_Wish you luck, but you're not bringing us down_

_We go hard, 'til we get it, get it_

_We go hard, we so in it, in it_

_We Pop Stars (Pop Stars), only winning, winning now_

_Ain't nobody bringing us down, down, down, down_

Then the background of the stage was full of stars.

_F: Hhmmm__... hhmmm..._

_Oh, __can you feel the rush?_

_W__e go hard_

_Oh, oh, __we're Pop__ Stars_

_Oh, oh, we're__Pop stars, stars_

Then Lillie pulled two pistols and shot at the balloons over the crowd, making small and colourful explosions.

_L: Ain't__ nobody bringing us-_

_FRAL: Ain't__ nobody bringing us down, down, down, down, down, down_

_They could try but we're gonna wear the crown_

_You could go another round_

_Round, round, round, round, round, round_

_Wish you luck, but you're not bringing us down_

_We go hard, 'til we get it, get it_

_We go hard, we so in it, in it_

_We Pop Stars (Pop Stars), only winning, winning now_

_Ain't nobody bringing us down, down, down, down_

**End of BGM**

The crowd went wild. They loved it. The Monicas were slack-jawed by the performance. Then the host came. "Wow! That was incredible! Now we will go to the voting procedure.". After 10 minutes, it was time for the results. "Alright folks, the results came! And the winner of _So you think you can sing _is...". Everyone was waiting for the winner. "KD-8!". The crowd went.

"We won?! WE WON!" Fiona said. The girls were jumping in excitement.

"They?! They won?! I can't believe those faunus whores won!" Monica #1 said.

**BGM: Pillar men theme - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure**

"I heard that.". They turned around saw Nova, glaring at them and cracking his knuckles. It was like he was 3 meters tall to the Monicas.

**End of BGM**

* * *

_Four painful wedgies later_

Nova joined for their celebration. "Congratulations girls!"

"Thanks! But we wouldn't have done it without you. Thanks Nova." Fiona said.

"Thanks Nova!" the rest said and then they all hugged him, making him shed a tear.

"Aww, thanks."

"Hey, the night is still young. Do you want to do something?" Lillie said.

"I have an idea. But it's probably illegal."

"What?" Rita saud.

"Let's crash at Beacon. I think they have a dance."

"At Beacon? Why?" Alice said.

"You see, little Ozzy wanted me to be the DJ and of course I denied because I wanted to see you. Also I sold him a CD with my party playlist for 3000 lien."

"Wait, you mean professor Ozpin?" Fiona said and Nova nodded.

"What?!" the girls said.

"No way! He payed 3000 for a CD?!"

"Yeah. And I thought that we should go crash at the dance. Are you in?"

* * *

_Meanwhile at the dance_

"What do you think happened at the tower?" Goodwitch said.

"I don't know. But I hope James makes it in time." Ozpin said.

"... Is there anything else that bothers you?"

"Regret. I can't believe that I payed 3000 for a CD."

"Next time, don't let him do anything he wants."

"You're right."

"Imagine if he came in and made a mess.". Then all of a sudden someon kicked the large doors open. The music stopped and everyone turned qround to see five people. "What the...". The lights fell on them, revealing them one by one, doing poses. KD-8 and Nova with a new purple and orange suit. "No way...". Ozpin was so surprised that he dropped his mug. (Did he had his mug that day? Who cares?). The students were like 'Who's that?' and 'Aren't they KD-8?'.

"Hey, is that Nova?" Yang said.

"Who are the girls behind him?" Jaune said.

"Wait, they're KD-8!" some random student said. Nova snapped his fingers and music started playing.

"Hit it!" Nova said.

**BGM: Partyman (by Prince)**

Then he started dancing, even doing the leg split. And to make things better, he started singing.

_"All hail - the new king in town_

_Young and old, gather 'round (yeah)_

_Black and white, red and green (funky)_

_The funkiest man U've ever seen_

_(&KD-8:)Tell U what his name is_

_Partyman, partyman_

_Rock a party like nobody can_

_Rules and regulations - no place in his nation_

_Partyman, partyman_

_Party people - say it now: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!"_

He then went to Ozpin, fixed his mug and filled it with Bacardi.(Get it? Because it has a bat as a logo? No? No.)

_"Somebody holler if U wanna party"_

"Hey professor, remember us?" Fiona said. "Professor Ozpin?"

"I'm sorry girls. It's nice to see you all again, but it seems that Ozpin is going through a mental breakdown because of him." Goodwitch said, talking about Nova, who right now web swings like his fucking Spiderman.

"Yeah, he's nuts. But I don't care."

_"I rock the party, I rock the house_

_I rock the whole world, north, east and south_

_In the west - 17 horns blowin'_

"Ozpin, please snap out of it!" Goodwitch said.

"Glynda?" Ozpin said.

"Oh thank the gods he's okay. What is it?"

"... Fuck it. I want to die.". Then he started drinking the Bacardi, leaving Glynda speechless. He couldn't do anything, so fuck it.

_(Students:)All hail the new king in town"_

Everyone had a good time. They were dancing and drinking. Even the teachers, who forgot about Cinder sneaking into the CCT. It was a great night. What will happen the next day? Find out in the next episode of _My Huntsman Academia._

_(JoJo references: 19)_

**And done! One more chapters and then back to reactions. I finished this chapter after watching the last episode of Volume 7 and I'm surprised. How can she be a Maiden?! She's an android! Also, the giant whale, loved it. If they don't finish everything in the next volume then it will take like 4-5 more volumes. Back to the story, I made a list in the previous chapter and so far the ponies are winning. What the fuck is wrong with you? But it's for the better. Wait to see Blake's shock when see watch it. Like, follow, review, sent a PM and read my other work. See you soon!**


	58. Music Madness

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 56:**** Music madness**

It was *_KING CRIMSON_* Nova did his morning routine, took his crack, drank some choccy milk and got dressed. "Alright, what to do now? I could go see the kids- oh wait, they're on a mission. But it's weird that they were sent on a very dangerous mission. If I was the principal, I wouldn't let them go. What was Ozzy thinking? I hope they're okay. Oh well, to Fiona's." he said and left. He was now outside her house. He ringed the bell and Mrs. Marrone opened the door.

"Good morning Nova. How are you doing?" she said.

"I'm fine Mrs Marrone. Where is Fiona?"

"Her friends came and picked her up to go to Lucas Records a few minutes ago."

"Oh."

"Would you like to come in?"

"Sure, it's not like I have something else to do."

"Oh, I also want to show you pictures of Fiona when she was little."

"Really?! Prepare the albums, I'll make the choccy milk!"

* * *

_Meanwhile, with the girls_

The girls were outside the offices. They were amazed by how it looked. "Well, here we are girls. Lucas Records. Our dreams are coming true." Fiona said.

"I can't believe that we are here." Alice said.

"Me neither." Rita said.

"What are we waiting for? Let's go!" Lillie said. They were walking through the halls, looking at the posters off all the artists that went through here.

"Imagine. One day we will have our poster on the wall too." Fiona said. Then they saw a man approaching them.

"Ah, you must be KD-8. It's so great finally meeting you. I'm Danny Lucas, the CEO of Lucas Records." he said.

"Nice to meet you too, mister."

"Follow me to my office.". The office walls were filled with posters, golden records, a shelf full of awards and a giant picture of the founder, Michael Lucas. "Girls, you know that Lucas Records is the home of the most famous artists in the world. And from what I've seen at the contest, I'm pretty sure you will become one of them. You'll probably make millions of lien in the first 3 days!"

"Are we going to do and tours too?" Lillie said.

"Not only that! I have the power to make you the opening act of the Vytal Tournament!"

"Really?! That would be amazing!" Fiona said.

"Wait. I have a question." Rita said. "Are you going to make changes to us? Like fake news, autotune, bad remixes and etc., right?" Rita said.

"Of course not! Here the only thing we care about is music! My father would never do such a thing. Here is the contract. Do you accept the offer?" Danny said.

"We sure do." Fiona said and signed.

"Great! You made the best choice! Now, could you three leave me and miss Fiona alone for a couple of minutes? I want to... speak with her personally. You can see the rest of the studio if you want."

"Oh... sure." Alice said.

"Oh, let's go see other singers! I wonder if the Achieve Men are here." Lillie said and then left the office.

"Did you bring your weapons?" Rita said.

"I actually brought my pistols just in case. Why?"

"I don't like this. That was weird. I have a bad feeling about him. I'm afraid that we won't be here for too long."

"Are you sure?"

"It's just a feeling. Besides, you remember the accusations against him, right?"

* * *

_At the office_

"So, what do you want to say to me, mister Lucas?" Fiona said.

"Nothing specific. Just the future." Danny said, getting two glasses and liquor. "Let's sit at the couch. And call me Danny."

"Okay...". 'I don't like where this is going.'. They sat on the couch and Danny offered her a drink.

"Would you like some?"

"No, I don't. It's too early."

"Okay then."

"Mr. Lu- I mean Danny, where is this going?"

"Miss Fiona, I've met a lot of women in my life, but you... are the most beautiful of them all."

"Are you hitting on me?"

"Why not? You seem like a lovely woman and I'm just taking my chance. Is that wrong?"

"No, but you should stop."

"Why? I can give you everything you want and more. I can make you even more famous than your friends. I will treat you like a queen."

"First of all, I don't want to do solo. Second, I'm already on a relationship."

"So?"

"So? What do you mean so?!"

"I mean what about it? Forget him and let's enjoy the moment, shall we?"

"Mr Lucas, the conversation is over."

"No it's not." He then got up and restraint her.

"Hey, let me go!"

"Not until you kiss me!". Fiona struggled to get him off her. She ended up slapping his face.

"Oh... kinky.". Then he tried to kiss her again. " I love feisty women!"

"Let me go!". She again struggled. "I said let me go!". Out of frustration, she blew him away with her semblance, sending him to a wall. "So those accusations against you for sexual harassment were true! I can't believe it! The deal is off! Me and the girls are leaving and we're never coming again!". She then ran out of the office. Danny got up, grunting in pain and called the security.

"Security! Find KD-8 and bring them to me!"

**BGM: I'm here now - Tekken 5**

Fiona was running fast to find her friends. But then she saw in front of her the security. "Freeze!"

"Oh crap." Fiona said. She didn't stop running. She quickly did a leg sweep and made the guards fall down and she continued. Meanwhile, with the others, trying to find some singers, Lillie heard something.

"I hear people running." Lillie said.

"Don't tell me." Rita said. Lillie used her semblance and with her thermal vision, she saw the guards downstairs coming.

"Guards."

"Damnit, I hate it when I'm right. Get ready.". The guards were aiming at them.

"Put your hands up!

"No!" Rita said.

"You asked for it!". The guards started shooting them lightning rounds, but the girls evaded the shots. Then Lillie pulled out her pistols and shot the with lightning rounds, making them fall unconscious.

"Come on, let's find Fiona and get out of here!". Then more guards appeared. Rita then used her ability. She clapped her hands and blew them away with thunder. They continued, beating up and shooting more guards. Eventually, they surrounded them.

"Grab my shoulders." Alice said. They grabbed her shoulders and she used her ability. Time froze, making everything stop. "Let's go.". They passed the guards, after Lillie shot them. When time resumed, they all got shot. They kept running until they bumped into Fiona.

"Girls, I found you!" Fiona said.

"What happened?!" Lillie said.

"He tried to kiss me! He didn't let me go!"

"Great. Now let's get out of here!" Rita said. They reachedbthe ground floor. The exit was right in front of them, but guards surrounded them. "Damnit!". Then Danny appeared.

**End of BGM**

"Dude, stop already! Let us leave and we won't call the police!"

"No. A lot of women came to my office, with the same dream as yours. She denied too. I called security and kicked them out. Of course, they didn't have a semblance, so you are in a lot of trouble. The police will come soon. Now, I can take off the charges if you stop and go with me. What will you choose?"

"... Alright."

"What?!" the girls said.

"Good! Now how about a kiss?"

"Okay." Fiona said. She gave him an air pressure punch in the face. "Fuck you!"

"Guards!". The guards aimed at them. The girls then grabbed Alice. The guards shot them, but they hit themselves.

"Let's leave before the police comes!". They exited the building, but the police already came. "Fuck."

"Freeze! Put your hands in the air!"

"Now what do we do?! I don't want to go to prison!" Lillie cried.

"Don't worry." Fiona said.

"Wait a minute!" someone said. Then appeared Nova, wearing a lawyer suit.

"I called him while I was being chased."

"What is going on here?"

"Mr Danny Lucas called us." a police officer said.

"Where is he?"

"I'm here! What are you waiting for?! Arrest them!" Danny said.

"And why?"

"Because she attacked me and they beat up all my security!"

"Why did she attack you?"

"Huh?"

"I said why did she attack you?"

"I-I don't know."

"He tried to kiss me!"

"HMMM, really?" Nova said.

"Of course not! Officers, arrest them!" Danny said.

"No, arrest him!"

"Why?" the officer said.

"For sexual harassment, of course!"

"Excuse me, who are you?"

"I'm Peter "Lawful" Fawful, lawyer and I say to arrest him!"

"... Okay."

"What?!" Danny said. "No, let me go!". The officers took him to the car. "You can't do this! I'm Danny Lucas!"

"Yeah, and I'm not a lawyer." Nova said.

"I'm serious!"

"Me too. I'm not a lawyer. Bye!". And the police started leaving. "Hey! You two!" he said to two boys, one with blonde hair and a monkey tail and one with blue hair. "Didn't I see you at the dance at Beacon?"

"Hey, you're the Partyman!" Sun said.

"That's me!"

"That night was amazing! You came out of nowhere with KD-8!" Neptune said.

"Yeah, I do these things. What are you doing here? What are you, junior detectives or something?"

"Yeah dude! We're official." Sun said, both of them showing their badges.

"Nice. Okay, now go.". When they left, Nova turned to see the girls with their heads down. "What's wrong, I took care of things."

"All of this for nothing. We were so close and now we are back to square one. Maybe we should give up." Fiona said.

"What? No, don't! You have more chances now!"

"What's the point? When we are close, something happens and we fail! It's pointless.". Then Nova thought of a way to cheer them up. He snapped his fingers and a banjo appeared in his hands. He then started playing.

**BGM: Rainbow Connection - The Muppets**

_Nova: Why are there so many_

_Songs about rainbows_

_And what's on the other side?_

_Rainbows are visions_

_They're only illusions_

_And rainbows have nothing to hide_

_So we've been told and some chose to_

_Believe it_

_But I know they're wrong wait and see_

_Someday we'll find it_

_The Rainbow Connection_

_The lovers, the dreamers and me_

Then Fiona felt a little better and started singing.

_Fiona: Who said that every wish_

_Would be heard and answered_

_When wished on the morning star?_

_Somebody thought of that_

_And someone believed it_

_And look what it's done so far_

_What's so amazing_

_That keeps us star gazing_

_What so we think we might see_

_Someday we'll find it_

_That Rainbow Connection_

_The lovers the dreamers and me_

_FRAL: All of us under its spell_

_We know that it's probably magic_

Then everyone who was around came closer. Nova then thought of an idea. He snapped his fingers and more instruments appeared.

_Have you been fast asleep_

_And have you heard voices,_

_I've heard them calling my name,_

_Is this the sweet sound that calls_

_The young sailors,_

_The voice might be one and the same._

_I've heard it too many times to ignore it_

_It's something that i'm supposed to be,_

Then the other instruments started playing.

_Someday we'll find it_

_The rainbow connection..._

_The lovers, the dreamers and me_

_La da da dee da da doo_

_La la da da da dee da doo!_

**End of BGM**

Everyone was applauding and cheering for them.

"That was great!" Lillie said.

"How did we know the lyrics?" Rita said.

"Thanks Nova. I feel better. And I won't give up. No matter what." Fiona said.

"Glad to hear it." Nova said.

"Excuse me." someone said. Then an eagle faunus appeared, wearing something only an American rich businessman would wear. "I heard you singing and your voices were amazing."

"Oh my... It's John Griffin, CEO of G.M.I. (Griffin Music Industries)!" Fiona said.

"I hope that you didn't sign with Lucas, because I want to sign a contract with you." John said.

"Really?! Wait, you won't try to hit on me, right?"

"Of course not! I'm not an animal like Lucas! Lucas Records isn't like it was before. So, do we have a deal?"

"Wait!" Nova said. "Will you change anything?"

"No."

"You do crack?"

"... Yes."

"You would give them crack?"

"No."

"Can I try some?"

"Sure?"

"Then we have a deal!". Fiona signed the contract.

"Great! See you tomorrow!"

"Oh my god, we made it girls! We made it!" Fiona said. They all hugged and jumped in excitement. But the fun was cut because of an explosion.

"What is happening?" Alice said.

"I don't know, let's check it out.". When they reached the place of the explosion, they were shocked. A Grimm invasion. Huntsmen and huntresses were fighting all types of Grimm.

"Holy shit..." Nova said.

"Those are a lot of Grimm." Lillie said.

"So that's how they look like."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What are we waiting for? Let's go and fight." Rita said.

"Wait, you don't have too. I can end it all in a matter of seconds."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"Should I do it the epic way or with a JoJo reference?"

"Is there a difference?" Alice said.

"The JoJo reference is more epic."

"The do the JoJo one."

"Yes! Check this out.". He snapped his fingers and hisnsuit changed into a purple one with a green shirt. He walked towards the battle and said. "STOP!". Everyone, including the Grimm, stopped.

"Nova?" Ruby said.

"Hey."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm showing off, what else? Now everyone stand back and let me do my magic."

"Uh... okay?". The villains that were hidden within the huntsmen were confused.

"Who is that guy?" Emerald said.

"I think that's the guy from the dance. Partyman." Mercury said.

"Is he going to fight all the Grimm by himself?"

"He must have a trick up his sleeve." Cinder said. (Was she fighting too? I don't remember.)

"Hit it!" Nova said.

**BGM: Another one bites the dust (by Queen)**

Then Nova started moving to the rhythm towards the Grimm.

"What is that music?" Cinder said.

"Wait, that's a Queen song!" Jaune said.

"What? What will he try to do?" Weiss said.

"I have a guess and I'm pretty hyped about it!" Yang said. Nova reached them and went through them, while touching them on the forehead.

'He's... touching them?!' everyone was thinking. Then-

_**Another one bites the dust!**_

He pushed the invisible button multiple times and the Grimm started exploding one by one to the rhythm.

"Yes! JoJo reference!" Yang said.

"You got to be kidding me." Weiss said.

"Yes! Explosions!" Nora said. Meanwhile the rest were shocked, especially the bad guys.

'Who is that guy?! What is that power?!' Cinder thought. Nova continued to touch them, leaving the big ones for the end.

_**Another one bites the dust**_

_**Another one bites the dust**_

_**Another one bites the dust**_

_**Another one bites the dust**_

And like that he destroyed all the small ones. He then went to the big ones. They actually tried to attack him but he avoided all their attacks.

_**Another one bites the dust!**_

_**Another one bites the dust!**_

_**And another one gone and another one gone**_

_**Another one bites the dust!**_

_**Hey, gonna get you too**_

_**Another one bites the dust!**_

He blew up all the big ones, resulting in a giant explosion. He danced a little more, before he does Killer Queen's pose.

**End of BGM**

Everyone was speechless. Until Yang started clapping. Then her teammates followed. And then everyone followed. They were cheering for him. And the villains were shocked.

"Thank you, thank you everyone! Now listen. I'll do a small party at the best restaurant in town and you're all invited!". He then walked towards Ruby. "Tell Ozzy and the rest of the teachers that they're also invited."

* * *

_At the party_

Everyone was enjoying the music, the atmosphere and the endeavours. "This place is amazing!" Ruby said.

"It sure feels good." Jaune said.

"And also KD-8 is here." Weiss said.

"Where is Nova?" Yang said.

"He's on the stage with Fiona." Ruby said while stuffing her mouth with food.

"How can this be? What kind of power does he possess?" Cinder said.

"Do you think that he will be a problem to our plans?" Emerald said.

"I'm not sure. But we're sticking with our plan.". Then the curtains opened. Music started playing.

**BGM: The second time around - Family Guy**

_Nova: Love is lovelier the second time around_

_Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground_

_It's that second time you hear your love song sung_

_Makes you think perhaps that love, like youth, is wasted on the young_

_Fiona: Love's more comfortable the second time you fall_

_Like a friendly home the second time you call_

_Who can say what brought us to this miracle we've found?_

_There are those who'll bet love comes but once and yet_

_I'm oh so glad we met the second time around_

_N&F: Who can say what brought us to this miracle we've found_

_There are those who'll bet love comes but once and yet_

_I'm oh so glad we met the second time around_

**End of BGM**

Everyone applauded. They sat down to take a break. "I didn't know you could swing." Fiona said.

"And I didn't know you had braces when you were little." Nova said.

"What?! Did my mother showed you pictures?"

"Yeah. Oh come on, you were an adorable little thing. Hey Oz, do you want to come up and sing?"

"Me? I don't know." Ozpin said.

"Come on! Everyone, do you want to hear Ozpin sing? Come on! _Ozzy! Ozzy! Ozzy!_" Everyone was shouting Ozzy.

"Okay, okay! I'll go.". Everyone cheered for him.

"There you go!". The time of the song came.

**BGM: Take me out to pLace tonight - Family Guy**

(What happened in the show, happened here)

_Ozpin: On the western side of Vale, _

_If you'd care to come along, _

_There's a club that's so exclusive _

_That the line is ten miles long. _

_Nova: Where the douchebags come to party _

_And to spend their fathers' cash _

_Just to take home slutty women _

_And then wake up with a rash. _

_Yeah they wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up with a rash! _

_Both: Take me out to pLace tonight, _

_Where the wool knit caps are tight. _

_Nova: And the guys in hooded sweatshirts _

_Have forgotten that they're white. _

_Both: Take me out to pLace tonight, _

_Where a dude can pick a fight _

_Nova: Over who takes home that smoking Chinese bar skank...on the right. _

_Ozpin: There's a throng of trendy people a_

_And they're streched around the block._

_And there's one unpleasant deaf guy _

_Who just really shouldn't talk. _

_Nova: (Vodka tonic please)There's a chick who's kind of Persian,_

_And a broad with zero fat. _

_And a giant human monkey. _

_Oh no wait, that's Spencer Pratt. _

_Ozpin: Wait a sec... who's Spencer Pratt? _

_Both: Take me out to pLace tonight, _

_To a bathroom stall delight _

_Ozpin: Where a girl will help you empty _

_Every last electrolyte. _

_Both: Take me out to pLace tonight _

_Where there ain't no cellulite, _

_And we'll drink ourselves insane until we're feeling... dynamite! _

**End of BGM**

Everyone applauded, mostly because Ozpin sang. "Thank you." Ozpin said. Everyone had a good night. Even the bad guys. The perfect end for a day like that.

_(JoJo references: 21)_

* * *

**And done! Now that that's done, back to reactions. And you probably know what is next. Lile, follow, review, sent a PM and read the Nova Force. See you soon!**


	59. Nova Force EP2

**Make sure to check out the original story before you read this.**

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 57:**** Nova Force EP2**

You already know how it goes. He wakes up, dresses up, crack and stupid stuff. He texted probably a hundred hearts to Fiona. He then snapped his fingers and went to Beacon. "Hey girls!" he said.

"Hey Nova." Ruby said.

"How's it... why are they like that?". He was referring to Weiss and Blake who were in deep thoughts.

"They've been like that since yesterday." Yang said.

"Why?"

"Wel, since you brought us a PS4, me and Ruby were playing Dragon Ball Fighterz. I decided to pick the gods, Beerus, Zamasu and Goku Black. Also, we set the language in English. When the introduction came, that's when it happened. Weiss started going crazy."

"Why?"

"Because Beerus sounds like my father!" Weiss said.

"Wait, what?"

"Exactly!"

"Jason Douglas is your father?"

"What? No! They have the same voice!"

"Not only that. Broly sounded like uncle Qrow." Ruby said.

"I don't think so. His voice sounded kinda like him, but it's not the same." Yang said.

"Okay, but why Blake is like that?" Nova said.

"Since Ice Queen was all like _my father sounds like him! _and all that-"

"I don't sound like that!" Weiss said.

"- she looked for dubbed clips, from the movies, the show and other games. It was the same voice. Then we saw a clip with the Kais too and... that's how it continued."

"How?" Nova said.

"I didn't realise it at first, but then I realised that both Supreme Kai and Elder Kai sound like my father!" Blake said.

"Seriously?!"

"It was very weird!"

"That's a weird coincidence."

"It's not over yet. We then saw more clips from the tournament of power." Ruby said.

"What? You're going to say that Jiren sounds like your father?"

"No! Caulifla sounds like my sister!" Weiss said.

"What?!"

"That's right!"

"Okay, this can't be a coincidence."

"How is this happening?!" Blake said.

"There's only one answer. You must be all fictional!"

"What?!" the girls said.

"It makes sense! Three Funimation actors sound like your relatives! Also, it's not the first time I went to a fictional world. Let me check.". He then searched for a clue on his phone. "Let's see... no... no... wrong Grimm... it doesn't show me anything!"

"Are you sure?" Blake said.

"The only thing it shows is a Nickelodeon show called Regal Academy."

"Say what?" Yang said.

"It's a fairy tale school. And the protagonist is called Rose."

"Really? How is the show?" Ruby said.

"It fucking sucks."

"Oh."

"To be fair, it kinda feels like a rip-off of us." Weiss said.

"Then that means that since they're ripping you off, they probably know you and that you're fictional." Nova said.

"Not exactly. All those shows about super schools are ripping off Harry Poter." Blake said.

"Doesn't that mean that we are a Harry Poter rip-off too?" Ruby said.

"You're more of an Attack on Titan rip-off. With quirks." Nova said.

"Does that make me Deku?"

"No, because you were training for years. Also why would you be Deku?"

"Can I say something? Where is the problem with that?" Yang said.

"What do you mean?! If you learned that you're a character from a show, how would you feel?!" Weiss said.

"Amazing, knowing that I have fans that love me. Except the rule 34 ones."

"But we would be fictional! We wouldn't be real!" Blake said.

"Aren't we all fictional in a way? What would the difference be?" Nova said.

"The fact that there is a writer that decides for our lifes and puts us into dangerous situations? Like what if he decides to kill one of us?" Weiss said.

"What?! That wouldn't happen! Right?" Ruby said.

"I hope not. But if that happens, my money is on Pyrrha." Nova said.

"What?!"

"Come on, you can see the death flags from kilometres away."

"Dude!" Yang said.

"What? I'm just saying. Anyway, who's ready for some Nova Force?"

"After that conversation, I really need to do something else." Weiss said.

"I'll get the others!" Ruby said.

* * *

They all sat down and Nova brought snacks. "Are you ready?" he said and they nodded. "Good."

**New York. One of the biggest and most beautiful cities in the world. It's even more beautiful at night. But its beauty can fool you sometimes. A loud alarm could be heard. Two men, wearing black outfits and ski masks were running away from the police, with bags full of money. **

"Okay, what's happening?" Weiss said.

"Oh, it's like a super hero introduction!" Jaune said.

**They managed to lose the police by turning in a big, dark alleyway. Seeing that they lost them, they calmed down. Until they saw someone under a flickering lamp post. It was a woman with blue hair and a blue super hero suit. **

"Well, there she is." Yang said.

**The robbers started shaking in terror as they realised who she was. She instantly disappeared, scaring them more. **

"She tried to go full Batman on them." Nova said.

**They were back to back, ready to fire at her with their guns. Silence followed. They were wondering what will she do. After that, a blue blur passed in front of them, disarming them. **

"Wow, she's really fast." Ruby said.

"And she also wears blue. What a rip-off." Yang said.

"You're the last one to talk about rip-offs." Weiss said.

"Say whatever you want, but I'm a cool rip-off."

"No doubt there." Nova said.

**When they realised it, she was in front of them. It was dark but they could see her glowing blue hair and green eyes. They screamed in fear and then silence. After some time, the police came. Two policemen saw the robbers, knocked out and tied up, having broken noses and a note. It said:**

_**'Two more scumbags for you to take. Sincerely yours, the Speed Demon(heart) '**_

"Oh my god, she even put a heart." Weiss said.

"How much of a bitch do you have to be to put a heart?" Blake said.

"What did you say _miss depressing day_?" Nora said. She was behind Blake, glaring at her menacingly. (insert menacing sfx)

"You must be talking about the ones that leave a kiss." Yang said.

**[Intro plays]**

_**Episode 2: Speed Demon, the Warrior of Lightning**_

**"This is it. New York. I always wanted to come here." Stamatis said as he was walking through Time Square. He was ordered to find the warrior of lightning. After some sightseeing, he started searching. He went to a phone booth and searched in the yellow pages. "Let's see... Gold, Goldberg... there it is, Goldheart!". There weren't many Goldhearts in it, so it was easier. "Hello?"**

**"I TOLD YOU THAT WE ARE OVER! LEAVE ME ALONE!"**

That surprised the kids.

"I can relate to that." Blake said.

**"Is an Ellen Goldheart living there?"**

**"Huh... you're not...Oh my god, I'm so sorry I screamed at you! No, no one with that name lives here. Hey, are you single?"**

"Are you kidding me? You can't say things like that to strangers!" Weiss said.

"Of unknown age too." Pyrrha said.

**"... How old are you?"**

**"16.". Stamatis immediately hang up.**

That made them laugh a little.

**"Yeah, she's legal for me, but no thanks."**

"What?! But she's under age!" Ruby said.

"Actually the age of consent is different in some countries. For example in most of Europe it's 15. So that makes you (Blake), you (Pyrrha), you- actually everyone, except for Ruby, is legal. BUT! I'm talking about relationships, not necessarily sex.". They sighed in relief.

**After many wrong calls, he called the last number, but the phone operator answered.**

**"Hello, you called Ellen Goldheart. Unfortunately I'm very busy working or... other stuff. If you are searching for fashion models, wait outside my apartment. If not, then leave a message after the beep. *BEEP*"**

"Ugh, a model? That would be torture. Wearing weird clothes and looking like a skeleton." Ruby said.

"That's not true." Weiss said.

"To be honest, it's not healthy to be that thin." Pyrrha said.

"Also, it looks ugly. They look like their stomach is at their backs." Jaune said.

'Personal note: don't be that skinny.'

**"... Model? But the counselor told me that she is a nerd. At least I found her. All I can do now is wait and call again.". He decided to sit at a café. He was drinking a cup of cappuccino and was reading a newspaper. He noticed that some nice looking ladies were looking at him. He teased them by winking at them and they were like 'ooooooh'. **

"You can't be serious." Blake said.

"You got to admit, he has style." Yang said.

**"Mom was right. I am very attractive.". He started reading and he saw an interesting title. "The Speed Demon can't rest? Crime rates are raising? The Speed Demon?". He took his phone and searched for Speed Demon. He then looked at photos and fanart. "It's her! She already uses her powers."**

"Wait. All these three years, he didn't know what happened to Earth?" Jaune said.

"Well, he lived in space." Ruby said.

"But still, you would check the what's happening in the world." Blake said.

**Suddenly, police sirens could be heard. He saw not just police cars, but also SWAT vehicles passing. Stamatis quickly paid and left. His eyes turned rainbow and followed the cars by flying. **

"What is he doing?! A lot of people probably saw him!" Ruby said.

"He probably doesn't care." Jaune said.

**But he also sensed a power below him and looked down on the roofs. A blue blur. 'Σε βρήκα.' he thought and followed the blur, who turned out to be the Speed Demon. They reached the city hall. Stamatis saw a lot of weird things like aliens and dragons, but he never expected to see- "Ρομπότ?!"... exactly. **

"Robots? If he can take a dragon without any difficulty, then robots would be nothing." Yang said.

**There were a lot of robots and more were coming. The police were trying to hold them back but their guns didn't do anything. The robots started firing lasers. They started firing then at the Speed Demon, but she of course evaded all their shots. They weren't a problem for her. She disappeared and reappeared behind them and they suddenly blew up. **

"Look at her go!"

"I wish I was that fast. Maybe I am." Ruby said.

"She's faster than light." Nova said.

"I'm definitely not that fast."

**The poilcemen weren't able to see what she did. Nova though was able to see her movements. "The counselor was right. I'm having a hard time to see her movements. She's very fast.". He saw more robots coming. "More of them? Δεν γαμιέται, I'll join too."**

"Shouldn't the censor it?" Pyrrha said.

"Actually, this is the Blue Ray version. It's uncensored." Nova said.

**He made a small white ki ball and threw it at the robots, blowing them up. Everyone turned to see who threw it. **

**"What? Who is he?" the heroine said. "He has the same energy I felt following me. I don't know what his motives are, but he's helping me.". Stamatis descended and walked to her, destroying more robots on his way.**

**"Are you Ellen Goldheart?"**

"You can say that in public! You will uncover her identity!" Jaune said.

**'What?! How does he know my name?!'. "W-who? I don't know what are you talking about. I'm the Speed Demon."**

**"I've never heard of you before.". That sentence shocked her more than her shocking criminals.**

"Look at her face!" Yang said while laughing.

**"What do you mean you never heard of me before?! The entire world knows me! Who are you?"**

**"I can explain everything, but first let's take care of the robots.". They then noticed that all of the robots were destroyed. "Or not. Wow, we already took care of them.". Everyone around watching them, started cheering for them. "Okay, that's done. Now let me- hey where did you go?". She already left. **

"That's rude." Ruby said.

"She probably doesn't want attention." Blake said.

"She wants to be a model, of course she wants attention." Weiss said.

**He flew up and looked below. He found her running outside the city. He fully transformed and flew towards her. He managed to reach her.**

"How can he even keep up if she's faster than light?" Nora said.

"She doesn't have to go full speed." Ruby said.

**They were now in the forest. "Why did you left?"**

**'Him again? What does he want from me?'. "To the man that sent the robots."**

**"Who is he?"**

**"My arch nemesis."**

**"Arch nemesis? Am I in a comic book and I didn't know? And how are you going to find him?"**

**"For the last two years he never changed his location."**

**"Why?"**

"Yeah, why? Villains always change hideouts." Jaune said.

**"I don't know."**

**"But I need to talk to you about your powers!"**

**"My powers? Well, this can wait for now, I need to kick his ass.". She sped up but Stamatis kept following her. They finally stopped at some point. They saw a pad in the middle of the forest.**

**"Why did we stop?"**

**"This is the entrance.". She input a password and the part of the ground they were standing started descending.**

**"How do you know the password?"**

**"He didn't change it."**

"He must be very lazy." Weiss said.

**"Wow, he's either lazy or he's playing with you.". They walked through the dark hallway. **

"Oh my god, it even has the menacing sound effects!" Yang said.

**"Wow, this place feels menacing."**

**"I know, right?" a voice said.**

**"Aaaand you ruined it. Turn on the lights!" Ellen said. The lights were turned on by a scientist with fabulous blond hair. They were all in an open area of the lair. **

"Nice hair."

**"Well, if it isn't the Speed Demon." the scientist said.**

**"Dr. Chaos."**

**"And who is the other guy? Is he your friend?"**

**"He keeps following me."**

**"I'm her future leader." Stamatis said.**

**"My future what? Nevermind, why did you sent your robots to the city?"**

**"To get your attention of course."**

**"Why?"**

**"To finally destroy you! Behold my latest creation!". He pressed a button on his remote. The floor opened to reveal a chrome faceless robot. **

"He doesn't look that dangerous." Ruby said.

**"Behold, Krom! From the day I met you, I made Krom as a desperation plan. I've shown it footage from your fights so it can fight like you. It's as strong and fast as you. You can't beat it!"**

"Fights like her? She really is a rip-off." Jaune said.

"A lot of heroes have robotic lookalikes." Ruby said.

_**BGM: VS Metal Sonic (US remix) - Sonic Forces**_

**"You said that the last time you created a robotic version of me and guess what happened. I won!"**

"That's from Sonic Forces, she's a rip-off." Jaune said.

**"Things will be different this time."**

_**Pause**_

**"When will this end? Because I have some business with her." Stamatis said.**

**"Later!" Ellen said and they started fighting.**

_**Continue**_

**They were moving so fast they weren't visible. They were zipping in every and dodging. Only Stamatis could see them.**

"I like the animation." Ren said.

**"I didn't know we were able to built such powerful robots. It's movements are similar to hers."**

**"Wait, you can see them?" the doctor said. **

**"Yes. Now, what to do? I know, I can beat you up.". Stamatis walked to Dr. Chaos.**

**"Huh?! Stand back!". He pulled out a pistol and started shooting at him. Stamatis just tilted his head to avoid them.**

**"Did you really think that you would hurt me with a gun?". Stamatis went and punched him in the face, knocking him out. **

They couldn't stop laughing.

"He didn't have to do that!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**"That's done.". He then heard a loud crashing sound. Krom sent Ellen to the wall, stunning her. Its right hand turned into a blade and it was going to cut her head. She could easily get out of there, but for some reason she stayed there and closed her eyes, so she don't see it coming. But it never came. **

"Come on! Get up! You have the time!" Yang said.

_**End of BGM**_

**She slowly opened her eyes and saw a hand with a white energy blade sticking out of it's chest. Stamatis pulled it out and uppercutted the robot, going through the ceiling, reaching the surface. He raised his hand up and shot a ki blast at it, destroying it completely. Ellen was scompletely shocked. "Can I talk to you now?"**

"That was awesome!" Ruby said.

**"You... b-but... how did you... just who are you?" Ellen said.**

**"I can explain everything, but let's leave first. Oh, you should also take him to prison.". He threw the doctor in front of her. "I think he's in a coma. He will probably wake up in three years, so he won't be a problem."**

"Okay, that was unessesary." Blake said.

"Yeah, when it comes to bad guys, he's brutal." Nova said.

**Later, they got on the surface, Ellen carrying the unconcious doctor on her shoulder.**

**"Can I ask you something? How do you know my name?"**

**"I have a source.". He then suddenly snapped his fingers and the ground behind them, where the lair was, blew up, scaring Ellen.**

**"What the hell?! You scared me, you dick!". Stamatis was internally laughing because he found it funny and adorable. Let's be honest, girls are adorable when you tease them.**

"He's such an asshole." Yang said.

"We can understand." Jaune said.

"What?" Pyrrha said.

"Girls are adorable when their teased. You get grumpy, your face red, your cheeks puffed. It's super cute! Now I see why you were hitting on Weiss." Nova said. Weiss then got frustrated and had the exact same expression. "See?"

**"Anyway, I need to talk to you in private. Does anyone else lives with you?"**

**"No, no one."**

**"Good, let's go."**

**After that, they went at Ellen's apartment, which was a total mess.**

"I can relate." Ruby said.

**"Sorry for the mess, I didn't have enough time to clean.". Now that she wasn't transformed, Stamatis saw her long brown hair tied in a ponytail and her brown eyes.**

**"It's okay. Before I start talking, do you have any questions?"**

**"I do. First, who are you?"**

**"My name is Stamatis Papadopoulos, and I have powers similar to yours."**

**"Similar? You mean that I can also shoot ki blasts?"**

**"What, you never did?"**

**"I tried before but I didn't do it."**

**"You have to train. It took me three years to get to where I am now."**

**"Okay, next question. How did you know my name. Nobody knows my identity."**

**"My mentor told me."**

**"Your mentor?"**

**"Yeah. Okay, now I have a question. How did you unlock your powers?". When he said that, she got depressed.**

"Oh, flashback time!" Nora said.

**"It was three years ago. I was with my boyfriend at a bank. I wanted to withdraw some cash and I asked him to come with me for company because I was bored. Everything was fine, until a robbery happened. Everyone, including us, were scared. The robbers tried to warn the cops that if they don't leave, they would kill us. They grabbed my boyfriend as an example. They shot him right before my eyes."**

"He didn't have too!" Ruby said.

**"I was so shocked, scared and angry. I was screaming internally. And then it happened. My powers woke up. I transformed without even noticing it. The robbers noticed it and shot me, but I avoided the bullet really fast. I didn't understand how it happened, but I saw my hand covered in sparks. And like the big comic nerd I am, I realised that I had the power. I beat up the robbers and I saved everyone. From that day, I gave an oath that I would protect everyone. That's how I became the Speed Demon.". While she was telling her backstory, she was trying to hold her tears.**

**"Wow. That was the most cliché backstory I've ever heard.". He then received a punch to the face.**

"Yeah, now you deserved that." Yang said.

"You don't say stuff like that!" Blake said.

**"You asshole! I was telling you my sad backstory and all you say is that it's not original?!"**

**"At least you have one! My mentor unlocked my powers!"**

**"Anyway, you said that you wanted to tell me about my powers."**

**"That's right. Have you ever wondered why do you have them in the first place?"**

**"Like I would get my answer."**

**"That's why I'm here. You actually had those powers since the day you were born. They were given to you, by God."**

**"..."**

**"..."**

This got a few laughs.

"Yeah, I wouldn't believe that either." Ruby said.

**"...What?"**

**"I said that-"**

**"I know what you said, I'm just trying to process this new information. You are saying, that God gave me these powers."**

**"Exactly. I couldn't believe it either, but then I accepted it."**

**"...I should go more often to the church."**

**"That's not the point. You were given these powers because you were worthy. It's your destiny, our destiny. You are the warrior of lightning."**

**"Damn, that's a good title."**

**"I know. Now, I don't know how you will deal with that but-"**

**"It's okay."**

**"Huh?"**

"Yeah, her life won't change that much." Jaune said.

"Now she will have company." Ruby said.

**"I was using my powers to protect people before. My life doesn't change that much, besides having company now."**

**"That's good to know to hear."**

**"I still have a lot of questions. But, is it going to be just us or will there be more people?"**

**"Two more, the warrior of fire and knowledge. Right now, we must find the warrior of fire. By the way, do you have any money?"**

**"No, why?"**

**"Γαμώτο! Wait a second.". Stamatis then called a number.**

**"Who are you calling?"**

**"Shh. Hey counselor, it's me. Listen, she's in front of me right now. I asked her for money but she doesn't have any. I need you to pay for our tickets, okay? Okay, thanks."**

"Can't they just ask the counselor to take them there?" Weiss said.

**"Tickets? You mean airport tickets?"**

**"Well, yeah. How do you think we're gonna find her?"**

**"Where are we going?"**

**"(dramatic zoom) Japan."**

_**TO BE CONTINUED...**_

**[Ending plays]**

"Okay, that progressed the story." Yang said. "What now?"

"Ponies!" Nova said.

"No!" everyone except Weiss said.

"Yes!" Weiss said.

".mov"

"Yes!" everyone said.

"Drat!" Weiss said.

_(JoJo references: 22)_

**And done! Like, follow, review, sent a PM and check out the Nova Force. See you soon!**


	60. Pony mov

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 58:**** Pony. mov**

"Let's go! First video!" Nova said.

**Apple. mov**

**Applejack: (eating apples) Boy, let me tell ya, I sure do love apples.**

"Yeah, no shit." Yang said.

**Twilight: Applejack, what are you doing? You can't eat all those fucking apples.**

**Applejack: Fuck you, I can't eat all these apples! (eats apples)**

This got a few laughs. "Oh man, I missed that so much." Nova said.

**Twilight: Man, I've never seen a pony eat so many apples! (more apples)**

"Wow, the lip movements are perfect. How long did he take to make these?" Jaune said.

**Rainbow: Whoa ho ho ho, Applejack, you eat all those apples, you're gonna get a wicked bad tummy ache.**

"Of course she has a manly voice." Weiss said.

"Tummy ache? Everything I know is a lie! Keeps the doctor away bullshit!" Nora said.

"It's one apple a day keeps the doctor away." Ren said.

"It's a lie! Can't you see?! It's-"

"Don't say that it's a conspiracy." Weiss said.

"Fine! But don't come cry to me when you become a vegetable!"

"Fruit." Ren corrected.

"No Renny. She's not juicy enough to be one."

"Excuse me?!" Weiss said.

"OHHHH SHIT! She called you flat!" Nova said.

"Shut up!"

**Applejack: (sexually pleasured with the apple and eats more)**

"Who loves apples that much?" Ruby said.

**Rarity: Whoa guys, check it out! Applejack's eating a shitload of apples!**

"Wait, is that Arin?!" Jaune said.

"Holy crap, it is Arin." Yang said.

**Applejack: *speaks with full mouth***

**Fluttershy: Hey hey hey! This I gotta see.**

"Why that voice? Why?" Weiss whined.

**Applejack: Hey sugar cubes, look! I'm a walrus! *walrus noises***

**Pinkie: Whoa, Applejack! If you eat all those apples, you'll get a wicked bad tummy ache!**

"Why does she has a unibrow? That's ugly." Blake said.

**Rainbow: Oh, no way! I just said the same thing, you crazy cunt! Hehehe!**

"Wait, what?!" Yang said. Some started laughing.

"You can't say the c-word like that!" Ruby said.

**Twilight: Go Applejack, go!**

**Applejack: (eats every apple in that basket.)**

**Spike: Oh my god, Applejack. You crazy dude.(snorts)**

"Why is Spike a stoner?!" Weiss said.

"He's seeing those purple dragons, am I right?" Yang said and everyone groaned.

"Nice try." Nova said.

**Applejack: (kicks him to a tree) ****More apples.**

"Okay, no one loves apples that much." Blake said.

**Applejack: (throws the empty basket at Spike at gets a new one)**

Some of them laughed.

**Applejack: (eats apples nonstop)**

"Is this going somewhere?"

**Applejack: (she eats until everything around her is dark)**

"What is happening?" Pyrrha said.

"She can she everything!" Nora said.

**Applejack: (She sees apples flying past her. It all made sense. Everyone and everything is apple. She is an apple. We all are apples.)**

"She found out the secret of the universe!"

"Or she has a mental breakdown." Weiss said.

"Nuh uh!"

"Oh yeah? If I'm right, you won't do anything crazy for the rest of the day."

"That's not fair! I haven't said anything in the last chapters because the author couldn't think of anything for me to say!"

"... What?" Ruby said.

**Applejack: (no, she has a mental breakdown)**

"Told you." Weiss said.

"Damnit! The vegetables won!" Nora said.

**Spike: Yo Applejack! You alright?**

"Does she look alright?!" Pyrrha said.

**Spike: Yeah, you're gonna be fine.**

**Twilight: Let me tell ya, that pony sure does love apples.**

**Applejack: (eats the last apple)**

**[Extra scene]**

"... Okay..." Yang said.

"Are the rest of them like that?" Weiss said.

"No, they're worse. NEXT!" Nova said.

**Dress. mov**

**(People scream in panic as Discord destroys Ponyville)**

"Holy shit, that looks sick!" Yang said.

**Twilight: (watching from afar) Dear sweet Celestia! Discord, the god of chaos, has returned from his stone imprisonment to lay waste to everything and everyone we hold dear! Spike, we have only one option. We must locate the Elements of Harmony!**

**Spike: (smokes) Yeah, far out dude.**

Everyone laughed. "I love Spike!"

**[Title drop]**

"That was ominous." Ruby said.

**(Fluttershy is eating grass probably and Twilight is behind her, ready to poke her butthole with her pointy horn)**

"What?!" Yang said while laughing. Everyone was laughing.

"Don't do it!" Pyrrha said.

**Fluttershy: (gets poked)**

"Look at her face!" Yang said.

**Fluttershy: Hey hey hey! Quit poking me with your thing!**

**Twilight: Fluttershy! Have you seen the Elements of Harmony? I can't find them anywhere!**

**Fluttershy: Hey hey hey! I sure haven't, purple guy. Stay out of my shed, okay? (Closes the door)**

"I don't like that shed." Nora said.

"Oh come on, what could she be possibly doing inside?" Ruby said.

"Ruby, I don't know if you noticed it, but she's probably a psychopath." Blake said.

"What?"

"She acts weird! She has a shed! And her cutie mark is a knife with a bloody point! Connect the dots, you dunce." Weiss said.

**Twilight: Wanna help me look, Rainbow Dash?**

**Rainbow: Yeah, who don't you suck my tit, you dumb bitch? HEHEHEHEHE, swag.**

"That's just rude. Why are you friends with her?" Ruby said.

**Twilight: (hoovering herself) I know! I'll ask Rarity!**

"Woah, wait! Why is she fingering herself?!" Yang said while laughing.

"Especially with a hoof?" Blake said.

"I don't feel comfortable." Ruby said.

**Twilight: (knocks Rarity's door) RARITY! GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT HERE AND HELP ME FIND THE ELEMENTS!**

**Rarity: Oh, I simply can't, darling. I'm entertaining family today!**

"Why is she fat?"

"Because she a cruel narcissist?" Blake said.

**Twilight: (sticks her head through the mail slot)**

"Why? How?" Weiss said.

"It's a cartoon, don't question it." Nova said.

**Twilight: You are family with over 30 illegal Mexican immigrants?**

"What?!" everyone said.

"I didn't expect that at all!" Blake said.

"How is he allowed to show that?!" Pyrrha said.

"Other times. And don't start with that SJW bullshit, okay?" Nova said.

"Now it makes sense why Arin agreed to do this." Yang said.

"Well, he and the creator are Newgrounds veterans."

**Rarity: Of course dear! Who do you think makes my dresses? They come over, they look at my posters, I pretend to whip them, it's a silly pretend game, hahaha. Like a family tradition, hahahahaha! Except they're not allowed to live!**

"Why is this funny?!" Yang said while laughing.

**Twilight: That doesn't exactly seem ethical, Rarity. *duckface***

"Why the duckface?" Ruby said.

**Rarity: Oh please. Everybody knows Mexicans aren't real people.**

"Stop! It's terrible!" Blake said while laughing.

**Paco: Oh Mrs Rarity, my little fingers hurt from making so many dresses against my will.**

"Aww..." Pyrrha said.

**Rarity: Oh my poor baby! Let mama Rarity look. I'll fix you up. (breaks his fingers) No need to thank me, my dear. Generosity is my middle name.**

Everyone was shocked by this. Then some laughed.

**Paco: Oh no! Looks like hard times ahead for Paco!**

**Rarity: Oh, I truly am the most beautiful creature in all of Equestria. To gaze upon me, is to know divinity itself.**

**Mexican girl: Mrs Rarity, I'm so thirsty.**

**Rarity: (spits on the glass) Drink that dear.**

"Eww!" Ruby said.

"That's very harsh." Jaune said.

**Mexican girl: When are you going to pay us, Mrs Rarity?**

**Rarity: I'm sorry darling, I can't understand your thick accent. You simply must learn to speak English properly if you're going to live in this country.**

**Twilight: *fart***

"Wow, I forgot about her." Yang said.

**Rarity: (comes out with a dress, slamming Twilight with the door) Oh Fluttershy, I've had the help throw to get a dress for you. Maybe now you won't look like such an unwashed tramp.**

**Fluttershy: Hey hey hey! Stay out of my shed!**

**Rarity: Yes, that's me! The most generous pony in Ponyville! (then a giant Mexican grabs her and squishes her like a toy)**

"Oh boy, I'm smelling a revolution!" Nora said.

**Giant Mexican: Revolución.**

"Well, she's fucked." Yang said.

**Rarity: I'm sorry darling, I'm... certain I don't speak that ghastly... taco language of yours...**

"Taco language? Okay this video can't get any racist." Blake said.

"Tacos are Mexican?" Ruby said.

**Giant Mexican: Revolution.**

**Rarity: That's what I was afraid you said. (he closes the door) NO! NOT MY FACE! NOT MY GENEROUS FACE! NO! AHHH! NO NO! AHHH! THIS HURTS! THIS IS A GENEROUS BEATING! OH! OH DEAR! OHHHH MY!**

"She deserved it." Yang said.

"After this, I'm expecting the faunus working in the mines to start one." Blake said.

**Discord: ****I'm your god now! Bring me your virgins!**

"Okay, that was funnier than the last one." Yang said.

"Ask Jappleack?" Nora said.

"He made a small comic. NEXT!" Nova said.

"You don't have to scream." Weiss said. Then Nova snapped his fingers and a megaphone appeared, setting it to earrape.

_"Yes, I do!"_

**Shed. mov**

"We will see what's in the shed?" Jaune said.

"I don't want to." Ruby said.

**(More chaos! Also Applebloom got her cutie mark.)**

**Applebloom: Look girls! I've finally got my cutie mark! I've got my cutie mark, girls!(they leave her because Discord will step on her) Girls, where are y'all going? (gets stomped)**

"Noooo, that poor baby pony!"

**[Title drop]**

**Spike: *autistic sounds***

**Rainbow: *autistic sounds***

**Pinkie: *autistic sounds***

"... What the fuck?" Nora said.

"Wait, the blue one has a lesbian mark!" Yang said.

**(They all reach **_**the shed.**_**)**

**Rainbow: Whoa, whoa, wait up you assholes. What are we doing here?**

**Spike: Twilight said that we have to find something called the **_**helements of armory**_**.**

"I don't know why but this always makes me laugh." Nova said while laughing.

**Spike: We have to look at Fluttershy's shed.**

**Pinkie: Wait a minute! Didn't Fluttershy said something about people going in her shed?**

"Yeah, to stay out of it!" Pyrrha said.

**(Spike tries to remember)**

_**Memory 1: **_**(Twilight, Rainbow and Pinkie play spin the bottle)**

"We should do that someday." Yang said.

"Yeah, no thanks. We are not gay." Weiss said.

"Okay. _Pussy._"

"What?"

"What?"

**Rainbow: Yo Fluttershy. You want to play spin the bottle with us?**

**Fluttershy:(laughs shyly) Come on guys! Don't tease me, I'm shy! Stay out of my shed.**

_**Memory 2: **_

**Rainbow: Yo, I'm bored. You wanna go hang out with Fluttershy?**

**Pinkie: Okay. (They both beat up Fluttershy)**

**Rainbow: He he he, take that you stupid cunt. Yeah, welcome to Ponyville faggot. Bad-a-bone!**

Most of them gasped in shock.

"If she's really a maniac, I hope she kills Rainbow Dash first." Ruby said.

**Fluttershy: Come on guys... you really got me... stay out of my shed, okay...?**

_**Memory 3:**_

**Principal: And this year's prom queen is... Fluttershy! (applause)**

**Fluttershy: Oh my god! Now that I've won this, I finally like myself!**

"Please don't do anything bad..." Pyrrha said.

**Rainbow: Yo, this is gonna be so totally fucking rad! (Pinkie pulls a rop and drops a bucket with red liquid on Fluttershy)**

"What a bitch! She dropped red paint on her! No wonder why she is a psychopath." Yang said.

"Wait, that doesn't look like paint." Ren said.

"Tomato juice?"

"It's not that liquid." Nova said.

"Then what is it?" Ruby said.

**Spike: Hey guys, look! Fluttershy is all wet! (stone laugh and everyone else laughs and takes photos)**

**Rainbow: Yo, that's my period you dumb bitch! That's my period! (more laughter as Fluttershy sees the blood on her hooves)**

Everyone again was shocked. "Period blood?!" Weiss said.

"Yeah, I hope she dies. Painfully." Nora said.

**Fluttershy: No! Don't laugh at me! STOP LAUGHING AT ME! STAY OUT OF MY SHED! *echoes* STAY OUT OF MY SHED!**

_**End of memories**_

**Spike: ... I think she said we're always welcome in her shed.**

"You're an idiot." Blake said.

**(They open the door and they see the open corpses of animals on the walls as decorations, a corner with bunny brains and etc.)**

Everyone was shocked again. Ruby even fainted because of the graphic horror.

"What the f-" Weiss said, ready to throw up.

"That's so messed up..." Pyrrha said, also ready to throw up.

**Spike: Oh my god! Look at all this porn! **

Some of them facepalmed and Ruby woke up.

**Rainbow: (boner) Swag.**

That made them laugh a little.

**Pinkie: Man, Fluttershy sure has a lot of weird art.**

**Rainbow: Yeah, but what do you expect from some quiet bitch who spends all the time in the woods with small woodland creatures?**

**Pinkie: Yeah, what a freak. (freaky laugh)**

**Spike: Oh god, look at what she did to Derpy!**

"A toaster cozy?!" Ruby said.

"Who in their right mind thinks that this is funny?!" Weiss said.

**Spike: She turned her into a... decorative... toaster cozy.**

**?: Hey hey hey...**

"Oh no..." Ruby said.

**(They turn around to see-)**

**Fluttershy: What'd I tell y'all about COMING IN MY SHED?**

**Spike**/Nora**: Well we're**/they're **fucked.**

**Fluttershy: Take it away, fellas. (Then the corpses play music with their ribcages)**

"Okay, this is very creepy." Jaune said.

"And terrifyingly good." Ren said.

**Fluttershy: **_**I'm gonna sing a song for you!**_

**(Pinkie and Spike jump out the windows, leaving Rainbow alone)**

_**And I'm gonna show you a thing or two!**_

**(Pulls a lever and straps her in a chair)**

_**Go have a seat my dear**_

_**And if it's all the same.**_

_**Just sit back and relax**_

_**WHILE I EAT YOUR BRAINS!**_

_**(Yar ha ha, eat your brains!)**_

_**Brain, brain, brains!**_

_**(Yar ha ha, eat you brains!)**_

**(Starts sawing her in half while Rainbow screams)**

_**(Yar ha ha, eat your brains!)**_

**(The police finally arrives.)**

They were shocked, but they didn't feel bad.

"She deserved it... but that was too much." Blake said.

"That was a disturbing jumpscare." Yang said.

**Officer: Alright, Alright! What's going on in here?**

**Fluttershy: Um... this isn't what it looks like? He he? (sitcom music and laughter)**

**(In the next scene, she is dragged in a room, inside an asylum.)**

"And she ends up in an asylum." Weiss said.

**Spike: Why have things been so weird around lately?**

**Pinkie: My daddy makes me put glass in my vagina.**

"What!?" the girls said.

**Spike: Yeah, okay well, good luck with that.**

**(Discord fucks a building.)**

**YOU JUST WATCHED AN ANIMATED PARODY OF MY LITTLE PONY ON THE INTERNET (jumpscare)**

Everyone didn't had anything to say.

"... Alright, next video." Nova said.

**Magic. mov**

**(Celestia appears to fight Discord but her attacks are shit and her head gets eaten.)**

"Yeah, pretty much." Weiss said.

**[Title drop]**

**(Spike humps Twilight's back with cartoon sound effects.)**

"Oh come on, it just started!"

**Spike: So Twilight, how come we're hanging out in the pony boneyard?**

**Twilight: We need six ponies present or the Elements of Harmony won't work, Spike. Fluttershy killed Rainbow Dash and we've got to try to bring her back.**

"So they'll revive her like in the movies?" Jaune said.

"A zombie pony! Kinda cool." Nora said.

**Spike: Man, you're one crazy talking horse.(stoner laugh)**

**Twilight: I'm going to try a black magic resurrection spell.**

"So she will use black magic. I'm expecting more bad than good." Blake said.

**Spike: How about you reserect my penis? With sex. (she looks at him) What?**

"He's already the best character." Ruby said.

**Twilight: For thou who sleeps in stone and clay**

**Heed this call, rise and obey**

**Drag on to the mortal door**

**Assemble flesh and walk once more!**

**(She summons a pentagram and summons the what's-his-name demon. Wolfmother?)**

"Wow..." Blake said.

"Wait, wasn't she suppose to bring Rainbow Dash back?" Ruby said.

**(Wolfmother walks towards Discord.)**

"Sweet! A battle between giants!" Nora said.

**(They high five and destroy the city together.)**

Everyone started laughing.

**(Both Twilight and Spike watch with Simpsons faces.)**

**Twilight: Oops... guess that was the wrong spell.**

**Spike: Any more bright ideas, **_**Einstein?**_**(sitcom laughter)**

**That's Spike!**

"Waka waka!" Nova said.

**Twilight: Oh, I'm full of ideas, Spike. I'm a genius! (takes a shit)**

"Eww!" everyone said.

"A genius that doesn't use the restroom!" Weiss said.

**(The scene changes to a robot)**

"Woah, what is that?" Ruby said.

"It looks like a Rainbow Dash robot." Jaune said.

**Twilight: Behold, the RDASH-5000. Physically superior to Rainbow Dash in every way.**

"She built a Rainbow Dash? Genius!" Nora said.

**Twilight: I figured if we don't have the real****Rainbow Dash, then building a Rainbow Dash is the next best thing.**

**Spike: You're an idiot.**

**(She presses the button with her ****finger**** and activates the robot)**

**Robot: **_**Crush. Kill. Destroy. Swag.(x5)**_

**(Then it destroys the wall with its laser and flies to destroy the city.)**

Everyone laughed.

"Why would she make it like that?!" Yang said while laughing.

**Spike: Smooth move, smart guy. (more sitcom laughter and cartoon sounds)**

**THAT'S SPIKE!**

**Twilight: There's one last thing we haven't tried, Spike. One place, where even the maverick mind of my own has feared to tread.**

"Come on, just give up! At this point, you can't do anything!" Blake said.

**Spike: Uh... Twilight, you're starting to sound less like a maverick and more like a maniac.**

"Ooh, she became a crazy scientist!" Nira said.

**Twilight: History is full of maniacs, my friend. Men and women of intellect, highly perceptive individuals whose brilliant minds do neither restrain nor taboo. Such notions of the devil we must slay for the edification of ponykind, even if said edification means violating the rules of decency, society and righteousness itself.**

"You know, that's actually right. Some things wouldn't happen if important historical names didn't break the limits." Pyrrha said.

**Spike: Blah, blah, blah. Keep talking you stupid crud. (Undigs a grave)**

"Yeah, after that, everyone would be tired of it." Yang said.

**Twilight: Take her. We've got to get back to the lab before anypony sees us.**

**Spike: You're the boss. **

"Wait, they will try to bring her back again? But they failed." Ruby said.

"They will probably do it the movie way now." Jaune said.

**(The screen then shows a table and sound in the background for like 10 seconds. Then the corpse of Rainbow Dash gets thrown on it.)**

"Eww, that's so sick!" Nora said.

**Spike: Aw, this is fucking rad, dude. (pokes the corpse)**

**Twilight: Listen closely, Spike. What happens here tonight must never leave this room. For if anypony were to know of this gross bastardisation of god's law, their ignorance would label this as the ultimate crime of hubris.**

"You'll revive a dead person, you're not gonna rape it!" Yang said.

"Yang!" Ruby said.

"What?"

**Spike: Are we gonna rape it?**

Everyone laughed.

**Twilight: Spike, this is serious! You can't tell anypony! Because we'll be in deep trouble-**

**Spike: You know, you can say anybody. Instead of anypony.**

"Yeah, it sounds weird. Anypony." Ruby said.

"That's racist." Nora said.

**Spike: Frankly I don't see the point of that is. I would have known what you had meant if you had said anybody. Seems to me like that's the kind of thing that everybody's doing just because everybody else is doing it. So... (eats a worm from the corpse)**

"You didn't have to do that! Eww!" Weiss said.

**Spike: ... What? Look, I'm cool dude, I'm down, okay? Frankly I'm just happy to be here today! Let's just zap this bitch already, okay? I'm getting antsy. Give me a break today, huh? My girlfriend's trying to get me to quit weed.**

"That was a weird scene." Ruby said.

**(The process begins.)**

**Twilight: This is my favourite kind of magic!**

"This is so wrong! This is supposed to be a magical world!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**(Lightning strikes the what's-its-name.)**

**Twilight: Now Spike! Pull the switch!**

**(He pulls the switch and the lightning hits the corpse.)**

**Spike: I've heard of shock humour, but this is ridiculous!**

"I was about to say that!" Yang said.

**Twilight: That's enough! Kill the power! **

**(He turns off the power. Rainbow's hear become an afro.)**

"That happened to me once." Nora said.

**Spike: Yo Rainbow Dash! You alright?**

**(She leans to the corpse to hear her breathing.)**

"I don't want another jumpscare!" Ruby said.

**(But nothing happened.)**

**Twilight: I don't get it. In movies when they shot dead bodies with lightning they always come back to life. I thought it would be that simple!**

"I thought so too." Jaune said.

**Spike: I guess it's true what they say. There really is no sense in beating a dead horse.(ba dum tss!)**

Yang couldn't stop laughing. "That was gold!"

**Twilight: Oh well, go bury her again. (walks away)**

**(Spike hits the corpse with the shovel.)**

"Why would he do that?!" Ruby said.

**Spike: Didn't get me a birthday present last year. Fucking biiiitch!**

"Okay, that makes sense." Nora said.

**Twilight: Dear Princess Celestia, today I learnt... (tries to think what she learnt)**

"About what?" Blake said.

"About friendship." Weiss said.

"What could you learn about friendship after that?"

"Uh... movie logic doesn't work?" Ruby said.

**Twilight: Well, maybe I'll learn something tomorrow.**

**(Meanwhile, the gods and the robot destroy the city.)**

**YOU JUST WATCHED AN ANIMATED PARODY OF MY LITTLE PONY ON THE INTERNET (jumpscare)**

"Next!" Nova said.

**Party. mov**

**[Title drop]**

**Spike: Boring! What else is on? (changes channel)**

"Wait, what?" Ruby said.

**Narrator: Pinkamena Diane Pie was the first true celebutant of the pony world.**

"What is happening?"

"Oh no, a celebrity documentary. I'm glad that they didn't do one about me." Pyrrha said.

"Yet." Nova said.

**Narrator: Over the course of her life, the limelight she experienced, broadcasted her most intimate moments to a sensationalist public. And the world watched as she transformed from an innocent pop icon poved by millions, into a disastrous cautionary example about the dangers of an insatiable addiction to partying.**

"Wow, that's a deep backstory." Yang said.

**[Intro plays]**

"You can't be serious." Blake said.

**Narrator: Pinkie Pie's downward spiral began in 2009, on her 21st birthday. (shows footage)**

"Why is that so accurate?" Yang said.

**Narrator: With newfound freedom and her inhibitions entirely abandoned, she was left to explore a frightening nightclub world without a single notion of moderation. (the paparazzi appear and take pictures of her vagina)**

**Pinkie: (drunk) Nooo, don't shoot my potty pink princess!**

"She went without panties? Who does that?"

**Narrator: Wherever the party took her, the paparazzi shadowed her relentlessly, eager to document her tragic overindulgence.**

**Pinkie: I think I'm getting my period. (sprays the paparazzi)**

Some of them laughed.

"That's nasty." Blake said.

**Narrator: After a brief fling with Alice in Chains guitarist, Jerry Cantrell in 2010, Pinkie Pie's partying escalated from drinking to heavy drug use.**

"That how they all end up." Weiss said.

"Yeah... I hope Fiona doesn't end up like that." Nova said.

**Spike: She started chasing that purple dragon. Not me, cuz I'm a purple dragon, but I mean like... the heroine. It's a metaphor, look it up, you have the internet! But I mean, come on, everybody knows drugs are dangerous. (smokes pot) This isn't a drug.**

**Narrator: Pinkie's experimentation with cocaine, also took its tool.**

"Holy crap, she looks like she's about to explode." Jaune said.

**(She can't be calm and yells.)**

**Pinkie: Do you know what I can't stand?! Internet piracy! How would you like it if musicians stole from you?! What if Cannibal Corpse stole your precious glasses?! And you! What you do if (I didn't hear the name that well) just waltzed into your house and stole your... favourite dress?!**

**Random pony: I think I'd mostly just be confused?**

"Yeah, who would do that?" Yang said.

**Narrator: In 2011, the scandal reached its peak for explicit footage leaked onto the internet, featuring Pinkie performing sex acts, on a currently unidentified partner.**

"No, I don't want to watch it!" Ruby said, covering her eyes. But she was peaking.

**Pinkie: Yeah, that feel good, baby?**

**?: Yup.**

"Nooo! It's Big Mac!" Weiss said.

"Who?" Jaune said.

"Applejack's brother!"

**Narrator: The tabloids were merciless.**

**Spike: Oh, she'd fuck anyone. Chicks, dudes, didn't matter. Fat guys, skinny guys, guys who climb on rocks, dogs, cats, squirrels, bugs, snails.**

"How is that possible?!" Weiss said.

**Spike: She fucked a snail. I watched her fuck a snail once. That sounds weird, right? Just hearing me say it? Imagine how weird it was to see it. She fucked! A snail!**

"Please no." Blake said.

**Narrator: As the partying to become more extreme, Pinkie became belligerent and lashed out at her friends on several occasions, calling them in the wee hours of the morning.**

**Pinkie: **_**Spiiiiike...**_

**Spike: **_**What?**_

**Pinkie: **_**Spiiiiike...**_

**Spike: **_**What?**_

**Pinkie: **_**Spiiiiike...**_

**Spike: **_**What?**_

**Pinkie: **_**Spiiiiike...**_

**Spike: **_**What? Who is this?**_

**Pinkie: **_**It's Pinkiiiiiiieeeee!**_

**Spike: **_**What do you want?**_

**Pinkie: **_**I always thought you were cute. Come over and fuck me.**_

"Well, add dragons to the list." Yang said.

**Spike: **_**I think I'd rather stick my dick in an anthill.**_

Everyone started laughing.

"Bro!" Nova said.

**Pinkie: **_**I want you... to get some beer... get some oxycontin... come to my house.**_

**Spike: **_**Let me stop you right there because I'm not going to do any of this. It's 3 AM.**_

"3 AM?!" Weiss said.

"She obviously has a hangover." Yang said.

**Pinkie: **_**Come on Spikey, I thought we was friends.**_

**Spike: **_**Well, no offence friend, but I hope you're buried alive.**_

"Dude, that's so harsh!" Ruby said.

**Pinkie: **_**Hang on... there's this stupid bitch staring at me...**_

_***SILENCE***_

**Pinkie: **_**Oh wait, that's me, I'm looking in a mirror.**_

Everyone started laughing again.

_***SILENCE***_

**Pinkie:**_** ... Hang on, I gotta go talk to this mirror, I'll call you later Spike.**_

_***PINKIE HANGS UP***_

They couldn't stop laughing.

"She reached uncle Qrow's level of drunk!" Yang said while laughing.

**Spike: **_**AM I THE ONLY SANE ONE IN THIS CRAZY WORLD OF TECHNICOLOUR PONY WEIRDOS?!**_

"More so." Nora said.

**Twilight: I thought it might motivate Pinkie to get straightened out if we got a bunch of her friends together and sat her down.**

"Kraut?" Ruby said.

**Twilight: Not because I care about her but you know... Elements of Harmony.**

"Aren't those elements powered by friendship and stuff?"

"Yeah, why you ask?" Weiss said.

"If she doesn't care, then how would the elements work?"

"That's... a good question."

**Narrator: And so Twilight set her plan into action.**

**Pinkie: Don't touch me motherfucker.**

_"I did not hit her, it's not true, I did not hit her, I did not. Oh, hi Mark."_ Nova said getting some laughs.

"Nice one." Yang said.

**(Twilight notices that none of her friends came, only some random side characters.)**

"Wow, no one came." Jaune said.

"Their either hostages, or in an asylum, or dead." Blake said.

**Bon Bon: I'm texting my dog.**

"I wish mine could." Ruby said.

**Twilight: What kind of turnout is this?! Spike, this is supposed to be an intervention! Where is everypony?**

**Spike: Applejack's in a coma, Rarity is being held captive by Mexicans, Fluttershy is in the nuthouse and Rainbow Dash is dead. Any more questions, smartass? (Pinkie Pie vomits on his face) *sigh* I knew I should have stayed in bed today. (sitcom laughter)**

"Yeah, very funny. Now seriously, who thinks that sitcoms are funny?" Yang said.

"There are a few good ones." Jaune said.

**Twilight: Pinkie Pie, you need help! You're addicted to parties! **

**Pinkie: Shut up! You're just jealous cuz boys think I'm prettier than you! You have a big horse face!**

**Twilight: No, I don't! *neighs***

Sone laughed with that.

**Pinkie: You guys aren't my friends. My only friend is 40 ounce of 190 proof straight vodka. (drinks it all in one shot)**

**Spike: That's impossible...**

"Holy shit!" Yang said.

"She's worse than uncle Qrow!" Ruby said.

**Spike: Fuck me, Pinkie you are amazing! (she falls down)**

**Pinkie: Uhh, I think I'm having my period. (sprays Spike)**

They couldn't stop laughing.

**Spike: Oh dear god, it got IN MY MOUTH! You got any more fluids you want to spray in me, you stupid cunt?!**

**Twilight: Yeah, this could've gone better.**

**Lyra: It's twins, in case anyone is gonna ask. **

"Aww..." Pyrrha said.

**Lyra: I'm gonna name them Snippy and Prickly Pete.**

"Nooo! You can't do this!" Weiss said.

**Narrator: In a PR attempt to be perceived as more of a victim of circumstance, Pinkie released an autobiography entitled **_**My daddy made me put glass in my vagina**_**, describing in great detail her relationship with her father, the reverend Peter Daniel Pie.**

"I bet that she lied because she wanted attention." Blake said.

**Peter: Don't believe a word this book says. I didn't insert glass into my daughter's genitals. Okay? I didn't force her to eat her own her. I did not hit her over the head with a Sega Dreamcast, in a fit of drunken hysteria. And I did not lock her in the basement and blast **_**Blood on the dance floor **_**for 17 hours straight, when she refused to say the lord's prayer. What is that, a band? I don't even know!**

"Only an insane man would do that to his child!" Pyrrha said.

"Nova?" Blake said.

"Yes?" he said.

"When the video ends, can you put that part again?"

"Sure. But why?"

"I have my reasons.". 'It can't be...'

**Pinkie: Yes, I lied about my father. But I had a good reason! Nobody was paying any attention to me.**

**Narrator: Pinkie Pie's story is a tragic tale of how fame, money and indulgence can bastardise any of us. If something is pure and adorable as a fluffy pink pony can be tempted into a sinful life of self-destruction, none of us are safe.**

"Aww, she's so adorable!" Ruby said.

"And honestly, this is a good message." Pyrrha said.

**Narrator: After an arrest for attempting to shoplift large quantities of ammonia and pseudoephedrine in April of 2012, Pinkie is currently once again undergoing rehabilitation and her future is uncertain. You might ask yourself why things like this can happen. Are we the public to blame? Is it our sadistic lust for watching these giants fall and crumble that pressures them into their ultimate downfall? And finally, why do we as the media choose report all of this to you?**

"For ratings?" Jaune said.

**Narrator: The answer is simple. Because there is not a single thing happening in this world right now that's more important than the personal lives of celebrities. **

**(Shows Discord and Wolfmother having sex and an army of robots.)**

Everyone laughed.

"Why is this so accurate?!" Weiss said while laughing.

**Narrator: Pinkie Pie has brought smiles and joy to so many ponies throughout the years. With how exhausting it can be to bring happiness to others, perhaps it's no surprise that she seeks parties as an escape from her stressful life. Regardless of it all, one thing is certain. We should all be far less judgemental of this innocent, beautiful creature.**

"In comparison to the others, this one was kinda nice." Ruby said.

**Narrator: Pss, hey um hm... what uh... what are your rates?**

**Pinkie: 10 for a tuggy, 20 for a blowy and 25 if the cameraman's gonna watch.**

"And you ruined it." Weiss said.

**NEXT TIME...**

**... ON THE EPIC CONCLUSION!**

**WILL RAINBOW DASH BE ABLE TO SAVE PONYVILLE?**

**(Spike pokes her corpse with a stick.)**

Everyone laughed.

**PROBABLY NOT!**

**DON'T MISS...**

**THE PONY. MOV SERIES FINALE!**

**SWAG. MOV!**

**YOU JUST WATCHED AN ANIMATED PARODY OF MY LITTLE PONY ON THE INTERNET (jumpscare)**

"This is going to be so epic!" Nora said.

"Can you put that part again now?" Blake said.

"Okay." Nova said. He played that part again and after hearing it well, she couldn't believe it.

"No way... No fucking way!"

"What is it?" Ruby said.

"Pinkie's dad... sounds like Adam!"

"Who?"

"My ex!"

"You can't be serious." Yang said.

"I'm 100% sure that's his voice!"

"Not this again..." Weiss said.

"What happened?" Jaune said.

"We watched dubbed clips of Dragon Ball and some of the characters sound like our relatives."

"Really?!"

"Are you sure?!" Pyrrha said.

"Then that must mean... that we are-"

"I checked it. There's nothing about you." Nova interrupted Nora.

"Then why is this happening?!" Blake said.

"I don't know! Anyway, last video."

**Swag. mov**

**ONE YEAR LATER**

"A timeskip?" Jaune said.

**(Everything was destroyed. Discord, Wolfmother and the robots left.)**

"Wait, it took them one year to destroy the city? With the power they probably have, they would do it in less than a day!" Nora said.

**(Nothing was left. Everyone was dead. Twilight walks towards the city's sign.)**

**Twilight: *sigh***

"Yeah, you failed." Yang said.

**[Title drop]**

**(The rest of her "friends" took their own paths. Rarity escaped from the Mexicans. Fluttershy is rehabilitated and went to start a new life. Pinkie Pie was in a motel, looking awful.)**

"The snail!" Ruby said.

**(Spike was poking Rainbow Dash's corpse. Until she started screaming. And then Spike started screaming.)**

"She's alive?! But..." Weiss said.

"The experiment worked!" Ruby said.

**Spike: What the fuck?! You're alive?! Oh my god, Twilight's experiment really bring you back from the dead?**

**Rainbow: I was never dead, I was in a coma. Thanks for burying me alive by the way.**

"What?! But her brain was cut in half! How did she-"

"It's a cartoon." Nova interrupted Pyrrha.

"Oh... sorry."

**Spike: Oh yeah, sorry about that. I guess at some point, somebody probably should have taken your pulse or something.**

**Rainbow: Well what'd I miss, fag?**

"The apocalypse?" Blake said.

**Spike: Uh... things haven't been going so great actually. Discord, Wolflord, an army of robots that look like you, tornados, fires, earthquakes, meteors, there was a flesh-eating virus for a while, a bunch of people got lymphoma after the bombs dropped, then there was this whole civil war between the earth ponies and the pegasi,-**

**Rainbow: Where's Twilight?**

Some couldn't hold their laughter.

"What is going on anymore?" Ruby said.

**(Spike showed her a sad Twilight.)**

**Rainbow: Hey Twilight! **(I didn't understand what she said there.) **(she was still sad) Yo I'm back. Are you happy to see me? (still sad)**

"No one is, fuck you." Yang said.

**Rainbow: Hey Twilight, who am I?(does sad face) Who am I, Twilight? I'm you, sourpuss! Hehehe! (still sad)**

"Go bury yourself." Nora said.

**Twilight: I wanted to save Ponyville, but I couldn't do it. I failed. All because I was abandoned by people I thought were my friends. Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie. None of them would help me find the Elements of Harmony. Now everyone in Ponyville is dead. So much for friendship being magic.**

"It is magic. You have just being hanging out with the wrong people." Ruby said.

**Rainbow: Ah, come on Twilight. There's no problem that friendship can't solve!... Yeah okay ,that sounded kinda gay, but you'll see! There's nothing a little Sonic Rainboom can't fix. Watch! (She then flies at high speeds.)**

"Sonic Rainboom?"

"She just breaks the sound barrier, but with colours. It's actually beautiful." Weiss said.

**(Her friends watch the colours from where they are. But she flies so fast, her skin is getting ripped, exposing her stapled skull.)**

"Okay, that's too fast." Ruby said.

**(She breaks the barrier, making a flashy black hole. Everyone who was watching, gets their face melted. Everything gets sucked in it, until there's nothing left. Only white.)**

"Holy crap, she reset the universe!" Yang said.

"Is that really possible?" Pyrrha said.

"Not with that speed. You must be like, a million times faster than light to do that. Unless she had [Made in Heaven], it's complete bullshit." Nova said.

**(Then it showed a Rainbow Dash baby and it was ****woke.**** She used her third eye to rewind to a specific point.)**

"What the hell?" Blake said.

"She's woke." Nora said.

**Applebloom: Look girls! I've finally got my cutie mark! ****I've got my cutie mark, girls!(they leave her because Discord will step on her) Girls, where are y'all going?**

**Rainbow: DISCOOOORD!**

**(He stops to see who said his name while Appleblooms leaves. Then suddenly, they all see a pony giant coming.)**

"No way..." Yang said.

**(That giant was Rainbow Dash.)**

"I can't believe this is happening." Weiss said.

"So cool!" Ruby and Nora said.

**Rainbow: You've ravaged this city, crushed our homes and destroyed countless lives. The atrocities you've committed against ponykind are abhorrent and unforgivable and demands swift sovereign justice. But because I'm honor bound by the laws of peace and amnesty, I am issuing one final warning to you, Discord. Leave this place, or die. (shows her wings)**

"How can you turn a show like that into something that epic?" Ren said.

**(After the silence, Discord screeches, saying that he won't leave.)**

**Rainbow: You've got it. (And the battle begins. Her friends are on a roof to watch the fight.)**

**Twilight: Gott in Himmel... (Everyone else is running away so they won't die. Discord throws Rainbow Dash and she lands on some ponies.)**

**Rainbow: Oh shit, did I just squish someone?**

"Only a hundred ponies, no big deal." Yang said.

**(Discord is firing his laser, but Rainbow Dash jumps away. She flies behind him and gives a shoryuken.)**

**Spike: Well, might as well make this interesting. (He decides to smoke a joint, making the fight even weirder.)**

"Of course he would." Blake said.

**(Rainbow had Discord on a headlock, but he escapes. He sweeps her legs and gives her a strong left, sending her skid through the ground. She tries to get up, but he stomps on her back, making her gasp in pain.)**

Everyone winced with that hit.

"That must hurt a lot." Ruby said.

**Discord: ****You cannot defeat me rainbow pony.****(He then grabs her wings.)**

"Oh no, I don't want to see! He'll rip them off!" she said covering her eyes.

**Discord: ****Your virgins will be mine. And your world will burn.**** (He then proceeds to pull them and Rainbow screams in pain. Everyone was watching with fear what will happen.)**

"Oh, I can feel the pain." Blake said.

**(Her scream could be heard from far away. After so much pulling, he rips her wings off and throws them away. She was defeated.)**

"No don't give up now! You can win!" Ruby said.

**Scootaloo: Rainbow Dash! (Rainbow opens her eyes and sees Scootaloo.) Please, get up! You've gotta get up, Rainbow Dash! You can do it! I believe in you! (Rainbow gets filled with determination. She kicks Discord away.)**

**Rainbow: Nobody fucks with Rainbow Dash.**

"Yes! She's up!"

"Finish him! Break his legs!" Nora said.

**Discord:(he crashes at a mountain) ****PONIES ARE FOR LITTLE GIRLS!**

"Those they don't." Yang said.

**(He then charges at Rainbow Dash.)**

**Rainbow: Twilight! Now! (Twilight looks at her book for The Sword of the Holy Titans spell. She does the spell and from the sky descends the sword. She grabs the sword, making a He-Man reference, filling her with power. She waits for the moment to strike. She waits. She waits. He was close. Then!) Swag. (She hits his neck. He's screaming while she's cutting his neck. She cuts his head, sending it fly to the sky. He was defeated.)**

Some of them were actually celebrating her victory. "Weiss, you're cheering with us too?" Ruby said.

"What?! No, I... yes." Weiss said, blushing a little.

**(She drops the sword and screams like Godzilla. Then blood comes from Discord's neck. But since he was a giant, a giant wave of blood was coming towards the ponies.)**

**Spike: I hate mondays. (sitcom laughter)**

"So the city will get destroyed anyways? Come on, that's not fair!" Ruby said.

**(The tsunami hits the city. Everyone was screaming in panic. Meanwhile, little Paco was dragging Derpy toaster with him. Then he saw a penny.)**

**Paco: *gasp* Look Mrs Derpy! A penny! Oh and it's heads up, too! **_**See a penny, pick it up, and all the day you'll have good luck!**_** I guess this must be our lucky day! (He then notices the tsunami and does his cross, before he gets hit by the wave.)**

"No, poor Paco." Pyrrha said while laughing.

**(The blood stops moving.)**

**Spike: Oh god, it got in my mouth again!**

"Again? But the universe was reset." Nora said.

**Paco: Who's above me, shithead!?**

**Rarity: Paco! Did you just say the sh-word?!**

**Paco: Oops, sorry Mrs Rarity.**

"She gonna get the whip." Yang said.

**(Rainbow Dash shrinks to her original size and form and passes out.)**

**Spike: (slow-motion) Yo Rainbow Dash? You alright? (Later she opens her eyes, on a hospital bed and all her friends were there.)**

**Twilight: Rainbow Dash, you were absolutely wunderbar out there!**

**Rarity: You are positively fabulous, darling! And I'm not just being generous!**

**Fluttershy: Hey hey hey! You can come in my shed anyday!**

"Not again!" Ruby said.

**Pinkie: Geez Dashie, you're one hell of a party animal!**

**Spike: *sigh* Thank you for saving Ponyville, Rainbow Dash... I guess.**

**Fluttershy: Seriously though, don't come in my shed.**

**(Rainbow Dash sits up and feels her wings are missing.)**

**Rainbow: Aw geez, my wings are gone. Yeah, not like I wanted those or anything. Those wings that I used to fly.**

**Pinkie: Hey, you know what I still don't understand? Whatever did happen on those Elements of Harmony.**

**(Spike digs for gold and finds the Elements.)**

**Spike: **_**Hey look!**_** Here are the Elements of Harmony! They were up my nose the whoooole time!**

"You can't be serious. You can't do that!" Weiss said.

"Why do I feel like we forgot something?" Ruby said.

**(Then a portal appears.)**

**Rainbow: Yo, what the fucksickle?!**

**(Out of it comes Applejack.)**

**Pinkie: Look, it's Applejack!**

"Oh yeah! Where she was?" Jaune said.

**Spike: Applejack, where have you been? I feel like we haven't seen you in forever.**

**Applejack: Hey y'all! I'm back from my adventures in another dimension!**

"Cool, I want to hear them!" Ruby said.

**Spike: Yeah okay, whatever, nobody really cares.**

"I care!"

**Applejack: Nobody cares? But I saved the entire multiverse from a giant-**

**Spike: NOBODY CARES, Applejack!**

**Applejack: But- but I-**

**R&F&P&S: NOBODY CARES!**

**Spike: You stupid cunt, shut your fucking mouth! (she gets sad) Oh my god, shut up, a million times shut up, I'm going to kill you, shut up! Nobody cares.**

Some of them laughed.

"That's not cool, man!" Yang said while laughing.

**Rainbow: Hey guys, you know what I just realized? We're uh... all together again! You know, like a... family or something.**

**Twilight: I guess friendship really is magic!**

"Why that face?! It makes the whole thing stupid!" Ruby said while laughing.

**Everyone (except Spike): Aww... (Twilight takes a shit)**

"Eww, not again!" Weiss said.

**Spike: Man, you guys are gay. I need to het some guy friends.**

"Don't ruin it!" Ruby said.

**(A montage follows with everyone doing their part of rebuilding Ponyville.)**

"Why would you use the blood as paint?!" Blake said.

**(After some time, everyone was back to normal. Applejack again was eating apples and her friends were with her.)**

"Nice throwback." Ruby said.

**Applejack: Well, I did it. I ate every apple in the whole dang orchard. Every last one. How do you like that, apples?**

**PONY. MOV (small jumpscare and credits)**

"It really was Arin." Jaune said.

"Wait, I want to see!" Blake said. "There is the name! Garrett Hunter! That's the one who sounds like Adam!"

"Well, I don't know if he works as an actor, but it's still weird." Nova said.

**[After-credits scene]**

"Oh no, it's the shed again!" Ruby said.

**(Fluttershy was drinking tea in her shed. Suddenly Discord's head fell and crashed on her shed.)**

"Her shed doesn't have dead animals anymore. That's good." Pyrrha said.

**(Discord opens his eyes.)**

**Fluttershy: You're in my shed.**

"That's it everybody! How it was?" Nova said.

"Funny and fucked up at the same time." Yang said.

"Great. Now, who wants to see a black guy yelling?"

"Me! I want!" Nora said.

"Good!"

**And done! It was a big one. Like, follow, leave a review, sent a PM if you want and read the Nova Force. See you soon!**


	61. Dora the Explorer: Exposed

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes, grammar mistakes and probably offensive stuff. If you're offended then... I don't know.**

**Chapter 59: Dora the Explorer: Exposed **

Nova started the video.

**What's good y'all? Welcome back! To another installment of exposed. It is your host. With the roast. BerleezYyyyyyyYYYYY! A 100K subscribers bitch?!**

"What was that?! The video just started!" Yang said.

"Then you already know how good it is." Nora said.

**Yo, hold on. (Takes off glasses) Yo... I love each and every one of y'all. We made it. How-how do you want to celebrate? Y'all, for real, tell me in the comments down below, I wish I wanted... A lot of y'all me, Q&A. I'm down for whatever cuz like this is team Eezy baby. Y'all the stars, you feel me? I'm just coaching this bitch. (Puts his glasses) You already know how this is going down! Are you ready?!**

"We are!" Ruby said.

**LET'S! GEEEEEET!**

Some of them couldn't help it but laugh. "He didn't start exposing and it's already hilarious!" Jaune said.

**(Intro starts) Who opened the door?**

"Is he going to expose every detail that no one cares about?" Blake said.

"Yes." Nova said.

**F*** was that?**** W-was that an emo turkey-ass?**

"Come on, it's a kid's drawing! Don't be mean!" Pyrrha said.

**So I was gonna do this intro, but then I was like... man, f*** this Dora! I ne- I need that Dora season 3 shit! She began active on that bitch! Let's get it!**

"I love the way black people talk sometimes." Nova said.

**(Video begins) Fuck off my screen, YOU UGLY-ASS LITTLE RAT-ASS BITCH I- oh shit.**

Everyone burst into laughter. "Calm down!" Yang said.

**Ok so, before this fire-ass salsa beat pop off... look, these might be the worst parents on television, bruh! Think about it! This bitch Dora... and here come y'all in the comments: **_**Berleezy, you can't call Dora a bitch, that's not right- **_**MAN FUCK DORA!**

They couldn't stop laughing. "Yeah, fuck her! She's a football head! The only football head I like, is Stewie! " Nora said.

"Come on, she's like... five?" Weiss said.

"Stewie is one! I think..."

**Nah, I'm just playing, but for real, Mr and Mrs Explorer are on some bullsh**. How the f*** you just let yo daughter leave the house EVERYDAY, to go hang out with a f****** monkey?!**

"Come on, that ruins every educational show I watched when I was little!" Ruby said.

"Why, what are you now?" Nova said.

"Shut up!"

**Like, have you ever looked inside of her backpack?! Ain't no f****** pencils in that shit! No one piece of paper! Only a bunch of tools, like she Bob the Builder-ass! ASK FOR A REPORT CARD!**

"I can't believe it, that actually makes sense." Weiss said

**Damn, is this how y'all get down in Mexico?!**

"Can a black guy be racist?" Nora said.

"Of course he can!" Blake said.

**Ey, no racial. F*** Donald Trump. And the least y'all could do is throw a f****** apple in that sh**! A f****** naranja!**

"Naranha?" Ruby said.

"It's orange in Spanish." Nova said.

**Now she don't even have human friends (THE FUCK IS THAT?!) but she's gonna be teaching me some sh**! F*** that. (Intro continues and a millisecond later) DAMN, did you see how far she jumped off the porch?!**

They couldn't stop laughing. "That wasn't even a second!" Yang said.

**If you don't jump yo ass into an Olympic arena bitch, you do great! Where the f*** did he come from?! And WHO did he rob for his Yeezy red Octobers?!**

"Who would steal shoes from someone?" Weiss said.

"A hobo?" Nora said.

**I do not care, I do not like this baby gorilla, Diddy Kong Morgan Freeman gray-ass looking mothaf*****, f*** you Boots!**

"Come on, roast more!" Yang said.

**But none of these characters stand still long enough for me to get a clear frame to clearly roast their ass crisply, pause. So Dora, I'm coming back fo yo ass, but Bu-Boots! I GOTTA ROAST YOU! From a picture-o!**

"Aw shit, here we go!"

**I already got on your stolen fake-ass red Octobers. Or more like red Junes, bitch you way off, that are clearly too big for yo fruity ass. But look at this tail! Are you shedding, bitch? Are you a snake?! How are you- how are like thre years old and already going gray? Karma's a bitch and a thief. And I know monkeys have opposable thumbs and shit, but why is his mothaf******, hands look just like mine? Y'all better say no racist shit. But look at this dude's nose! Can you smell your eyes?!**

"Oh my, it does look like that. He's taking advantage of the bad animation." Ruby said.

**And that haircut! You know who this mothaf**** look like low-key? (Shows Jimmy) LOOK! They both got that fake-ass Elvis shit going on. Jimmy, why you look so sad, bitch? You ugly-ass, metal mouth head-ass, broken fingers head-ass- hey get your ass back here boy!**

"That was kinda weak." Yang said.

**(Intro continues) *gasp* Oh my god, did y'all just see that?! (Rewinds) Look, it's this mothaf**** Swiper off the rip! Yo... if you think about it Swiper never shows up unless Boots and Dora are together... and Swiper don't have no shoes... *gasp* (Berleezy theory). Swiper ain't the f****** bad guy! It's Boots bitch-ass!**

Everyone started laughing. "What?! How is that possible?!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"*gasp* He stole his Yeezys! It's the only explaination!" Nora said.

"It's a stupid cartoon for kids! You can't make theories!" Weiss said.

**This dude Swiper just trying to get his shoes back! Think about it. Everything Swiper go for on this show, ain't worth sh** compared to some Yeezys! That mothaf***** cost some real dinero, you feel me?! You wouldn't even be pressin Boots though! Every time you get close, they just tell him no and he just go **_**Oh man! Oh man! **_**and walk off! Like a- ain't no good. But he ain't even trying to get fown like that! But fo real, think about it, man! How you steal somebody else shoes and nickname yourself Boots?! Fuck this dude Boots, he a bully, bro!**

"That's the most ridiculous theory. Of a kids show.". They then hear Ruby giggling.

"What is it?" Yang said.

"Oh nothing, I just had this picture of me when I first saw Torchwick saying _No, stop stealing!_ to him, and he would say _Oh man! _and running away." she said and started laughing. Then everyone else laughed.

"I'm having this picture in my head right now and I can't stop thinking about it." Blake said while laughing.

**Boots and Dora got something on though, watch this. So somehow they're on a vine together and Dora big head-ass don't make the shit rip off, but look at this eye contact. But then look at how Boo- Look at how Boots check out Dora cake like that!**

They couldn't stop laughing. "She's five!" Weiss said while laughing.

**I mean shit, that is what monkeys ĺike, big doodoo diaper filled booties. (Intro continues) Look at this vine though! LOOK AT THIS VINE! Wh- who's holding them up?! God?! Are they on a helicopter?!**

"Yeah, there are no trees!" Ruby said.

**Yo, no racial, but why Nickelodeon got Dora saying what's good to the eses?(laughs) Look at this nigga with the bandana like **_**What's good, bitch? Orale!**_

"Come on..." Blake said.

**(Intro continues) Is this some pole dancing shit? WHO THE HELL IS THAT DIRTY-ASS ALADDIN?!**

Everyone started laughing.

**So I had to do my research and I found out that this mothaf**** named Diego is Dora's cousin! And I was like oh sh**, this show look active! But tell me why this th-the second picture right after that? (Shows picture)**

"You've got to be kidding me... Why do they let stuff like that pass?!" Weiss said.

**Nickelodeon, come on! What rating is this show, is this for kids?! What are y'all teaching kids out here?! But then I was like: No no, cuz this ain't Go Diego, Go exposed so Imma have to LET IT SLIDE! IMMA LET IT SLIDE!(Laughs) I haven't done that in so long. (Intro continues) WHAT THE F*** IS... **

"Was that a big red chicken?" Ruby said.

**Did y'all see this big-ass polio chicken?! You got the nerve to have another bird riding on the back like, that's a f****** thing out here. Is this Narnia, for real? Is this Mexican Narnia, for real? (Intro continues) I swear if one of y'all mothaf***** get in the comments talking about Map look like me...**

"He did look like the map."

**Hey, but tell me why Map, whenever you... what map when you open it up, ask you where to go? Bitch, I'm opening it up to find out! Who made this?!**

"Oh man, all the kids shows I loved when I was three, now they look stupid and make you ask yourself, why do they exist?" Jaune said.

"Been there." Yang said.

"Not all of them." Nova said.

"Say one."

"Sesame Street."

**(Intro continues) Okay so, this whole next part is exactly why I have a problem with Dora the Explorer. She says: Grab your backpack, let's go! Jump in, vamanos! LOOK AT WHO'S DRIVING THIS CAR! YOU EXPECT ME TO TRUST THIS DASHIE XP, CHUCK E CHEESE, HIGH-ASS, BIG EAR BITCH AND JUST JUMP IN HIS CAR AND GO VAMANOS? **

"Holy shit, he does look like Dashie!" Yang said.

**Dis bitch Dora just hop in his damn Twinkie mobile, don't ask no f****** questions and just drive off!**

"Come on, say it." Blake said.

"What?" Ruby said.

**I KNOW SHE'S TOPPING HIM OFF IN THE- IN THE F****** FRONT AND IN TOPPING BOOTS OFF IN THE BACK, LITTLE SLUT!**

Everyone laughed.

"I didn't expect it to take that turn!" Pyrrha said.

**Hey, here he goes trying to get that cheetah ass! Okay, watch this next scene. Look, they show off Boots' uh, f****** Yeezys and in the next scene immediately is Swiper trying to get them back and they shut him down! Swiper, I got to roast yo ass real quick.**

"Yes!" Nora said.

**Why yo nose look like a f****** banana, you fake-ass Sonic the Hedgehog wannabe, wit that dumbass bandana around your eyes that only are for around your fuckin eyeballs, but not your eyebrows, you creep.**

"Bam, roasted."

**Swiper, if you don't square up and be real with yo shit!(Intro ends)**

"Wait, what about Dora?" Ruby said.

**Hold up, I know y'all didn't think I was gonna end this without roasting Dora's ass, but look at what they tried to do in 2016. Y'all won't believe this f****** gooberish nonsense, hold on. (Shows picture)**

"Oh, she grew up." Weiss said.

"What's with the dramatic music?" Jaune said.

**So you think you're just gonna get and get sexy, huh?**

"Dude, she's... I don't know, ten?!" Yang said.

**You think you can just... "suck" your way to the top on some taxi cab confession shit, huh?**

Yang couldn't stop laughing because of the pun.

"I'm legit really hyped." Jaune said.

***deep breath* GIRL IF YOU DON'T GET YO FAST-ASS BACK TO YOUR FUCKING HOUSE, WITH THESE EXTREME FLOOD WARNING HIGH WATERS YOU GOT OFF! I KNOW YO FEET STINK WITH THEM SOCKLESS PAYLESS KEGS YOU GOT ON, THAT UGLY-ASS TABLECLOTH DRESS LOOKING LIKE YOU SHRUNK THAT SHIT WAY TOO MANY TIMES AND JUST SAID F*** IT. AND I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TRYIN TO FLEX ON ME WITH THAT BRACELET LIKE YOU NICE NOW! BITCH THAT AINT K JEWELERS, BITCH! BOOTS PROBABLY STOLE THAT SHIT FROM SWIPER TOO! F***** quarter gumball diamonds you got on, bitch. And look at these f****** nasty-ass loose ends you got, looking like straight octopus poo! Bitch, I will really take my belt off and beat yo ass myself! Yo little fast-ass ain't never gonna be nothin but that football head-ass Stewie Griffin yo distant cousin head-ass, HEY ARNOLD YO REAL DADDY HEAD-ASS, MIJA, RUNNIN THROUGH THE F****** AMAZON! You know, you need to take this make-up back, buy a ba- buy a new backpack, put a book in that sh** and use Map-ass to find yo way back to a school! YOU FAST-ASS, LITTLE-ASS, BURRITO!**

Some of them couldn't breath from laughing.

"He didn't stop! He showed no mercy!" Yang said while laughing.

"I lost it when he started screaming!" Ruby said while laughing.

"He called her a burrito!" Nora said while laughing.

"I lost it at the tablecloth!" Pyrrha said.

***heavy breathing* Or... burrita. Excuse me. Done.**

"I've never seen anyone putting so much effort about a kids show." Blake said.

**And done! Like, follow, review, sent a PM if you want and read the Nova Force. If you were offended, sorry. See you soon!**


	62. Mariotube

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 60:**** SMG4: Mariotube**

"Well shit... I don't know what to put now." Nova said.

"Oh, oh, oh, can I suggest something?" Nora said, raising her hand.

"Sure."

"How about we-"

"Nora, we don't want to watch SMG4." Ren said.

"Why not?"

"You mean the guy that made Meta Runner?" Yang said.

"I love Meta Runner!" Ruby said.

"It's very good." Jaune said.

"Yes, but I was about to say to watch his chaotic videos." Nora said.

"No! No more! We always watch something stupid, every time!" Weiss said.

"But you enjoy them." Blake said.

"Most of them. But it's enough! I have literally lost more brain cells that I'll ever eat bread in my life!"

"Nice JoJo reference." Yang said.

"Shut up! No more!"

"You don't have the right to talk!" Nora said.

"But-"

"We watched your ponies, now we'll watch something else!"

"But we still haven't suggesed a video..." Ruby said. Then someone entered the dorm. *gasp* Zwei!". It was Zwei, the best character ever. He immediately ran at her and licked her. "Stop it, that tickles!"

"Is that your dog? It's so adorable!" Nova said.

"Wait, where was he?" Pyrrha said.

"I don't know. Sometimes he leaves to go somewhere. But he comes back in the end. But I wonder what was he doing."

* * *

_HOURS AGO_

It was early morning. Inside the dorm the girls and Zwei were sleeping. But something started beeping. Zwei woke up and saw that it was his watch. He exited the room. He walked towards a place no one goes. He got up on his two, put a hat and went in a secret elevator hidden in the walls. The elevator took him to his secret underground hi-tech base. Someone was calling him on his super computer. It was Ozpin. "_Good morning, Agent Z. Sorry for calling you too early but it's an emergency. Dr Merlot is up to no good again. We have info that he's creating an army of mutated Grimm right now. It's up to you to stop him." _he said. Zwei barked in agreement. _"Good luck Agent Z."_. Zwei saluted and ended the call.

**BGM: Perry the platypus - Phineas and Ferb**

He got up and ran to his jet. A secret exit opened outside the academy. The jet took of and went to do his mission.

**End of BGM**

* * *

_RIGHT NOW_

"Okay, back to our issue. What would you suggest?" Nova said.

"I don't know, I guess something... cute? But Zwei is here so I'm okay."

"Uh huh. SMG4 it is!". Some of them groaned.

"Why can't we just say that we don't want to watch?" Weiss whispered to Blake.

"Well, because Nova is a god. He will either be angry and destroy us or... get really sad and make us feel guilty. Or both." she whispered back.

"Do I hear complaining?" Nora said, while glaring at them behind them holding her hammer. (insert menacing sfx), scaring them.

"Or her."

"Come on, how chaotic can it be?" Yang said.

"You have no idea." Ren said.

**(SMG4 intro.)**

**(At the castle, SMG4 is napping, Toad is reading, Luigi and Fishy Boopkins are playing chess, Bowser is carrying Peach, Wario and Waluigi are lifting a safe, and Bob is holding a sign demanding that a movie about him get made.**

"It's Gmod? Oh boy." Ruby said.

"It's already chaotic." Jaune said.

**(Suddenly, Mario comes in, wearing shades.)**

**Mario: Whaddup, biatch?!**

**(Everyone just stares at him.)**

"Someones flexing his riches. Imagine Weiss flexing." Yang said.

"I'm doing it and I can't believe it." Blake said.

"Yeah, full of make-up, sunglasses, large painted finger nails, chewing gum, Starbucks coffee in the left hand, phone in the right, posting selfies every 5 minutes." Nova said.

"Stop, I already hate myself." Weiss said.

**Mario: Out of the way, bishes! Rich, famous man coming through!**

**SMG4: Uhh...what are you talking about?**

**Mario: Look at this new viral video I uploaded to the channel I forgot I had! :D (The videos shows Mario insulting Peach, two Toads humping, and SMG4 exploding at his desk.) **

"And people like that stuff?" Blake said.

**Mario: Just look at these stats! Imma rising star! **

"37 million views?! For this?!"

"And 3 million dislikes." Jaune said.

**Mario:Also don't forget the success of the Mario channel!**

**SMG4: Hey! I let you upload that to my channel!**

**Mario: Nobody caaaaaaares! Now, if you excuse me, Mario is gonna make his next big hit! (He leaves.)**

**Fishy Boopkins: Oh, being a YouTuber sounds like fun! Oh, I wanna try!**

**Bob: oH, My GOd, WhAt wAs I Thinking?! (To SMG4.) I DoN'T NeeD YoUr bItCh aSs tO mAkE vIdEoS! (Hits him.) I'Ll dO ThEm MysElf aNd GeT cAsH MoNeY!**

"Oh my god, it's a computer voice." Yang said.

"Ahh, good times, when Bob was desperate for attention." Nova said.

**Wario: Yeah!**

**Waluigi: Oh yeah!**

**Bowser: GENIUUUUS! (Throws Peach.)**

**Peach: (Gets up.) Yay!**

**Toad and Luigi: Oh yay!**

**(They all leave.)**

**SMG4: °_°**

"Hey, how about we make our Youtube channel?" Ruby said.

"Why?" Blake said.

"Why not? Besides, imagine how famous we could be!"

"Ruby, we can do that in Viewtube."

"But think about it. Four anime looking girls doing videos. And one of them is a catgirl. You would be stars." Nova said.

"We are not anime!" Weiss said.

"Well, I see only anime. Wait, let me see something.". He switched from anime vision to real vision and vice versa. "You're cuter in anime vision."

"... What?" Ruby said.

**THE NEXT DAY**

**SMG4: Alright, Lets see if theres anything new on Youtube.**

**(He goes to YouTube only to get bombarded by Skype messages by his friends asking him to check out their videos.)**

**SMG4: Oh my fucking God... Well...I got nothing better to do.**

**Luigi Plays: MINECRAFTTT**

"He's parodying types of Youtubers? I love it." Yang said.

"-1 subscribers?" Pyrrha said.

**Luigi: (Smacks screen.) Topothemornintoyaladdies! My name is Weegeepie!**

"It's Jack!" Jaune said while laughing.

**Ok guys, welcome to Luigi's playthrough of Minecraft. This is my very first time, so I hope you guys like it a lot! Today in Minecraft, uh, we're going to build a brothel... **

"Wait, what?!" Pyrrha said.

"In Minecraft?!" Jaune said.

"That's anti-christianic." Nova said.

"What is a brothel?" Ruby said.

"You'll find out when out when you're older." Yang said.

"Oh come on!"

**Luigi: (Spots a chicken.) Oh look, a chicken! Let's go chase the chicken! Hey, chicken, fack you! **

Some of them laughed. "Every youtube gamer."

**Luigi: (SMG4 is unamused.) Okay, what nest, uh... Oh look, another chicken! Yay, go chase the chicken! (Finds a moose.) You want to be my friend, moose? Oh yeah, moose, you like that, don't you? I am so funny!**

"Why is this so accurate?" Jaune said.

**Luigi: I hope you guys enjoyed that playthrough of Weegeepie!**

**Mario: Hey, Luigi! Mama mia, why are you playing that boring crap?! That's boring! You're boring everybody! GET OVER HERE! (Tackles Luigi.)**

"Mean. But true." Nora said.

**(Cut.)**

**Luigi: (He is playing Amnesia: The Dark Descent. There's also a dancing penguin.) **

Some of them laughed.

**Luigi: Oh well, okay Mario recommended me this game, and um, it has a dancing penguin, so it can't be that bad, right? Okay, let's start. We will go through the wall. (Encounters an enemy dancing to Thriller.) What's that? Hello? Okay... **

"What is happening anymore?" Blake said.

**Luigi: Looks friendly enough. Um, guys, I'm gonna go check him out. Hello. Hey bro, how you-**

**Monster: Boo! (Luigi screams like a girl, then blows up.)**

"PewDiePie in his early days." Nova said.

**(Cut.)**

**Luigi: Okay, that's it for Weegeepie! I only shat myself once! Make sure you PUNCH THAT LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE! (Subscribe card.)**

"Would you subscribe?". Most of them said no.

"I would. Everyone starts from somewhere." Ruby said.

**SMG4: ...Too bad that didn't kill me.**

**THE BOB MOVIE**

**Superbobglitchy4 prezents: BOB TEH MOVIE**

"The budget was big." Nora said.

"Teh movie?"

**Bob: It is 1969. Get it? 69! **

"Boooo!" Yang said.

"What is that background music?" Blake said.

**Bob: aNyWay, oH sHet, WhO's DiS Sexy bEaSt?! It iS ThE MaIn cHiReCtOr, BoB, oF CoUrSe! hE iS tEh SeXiEsT MaN AlIvE! o yEaH, lOoK aT dAt aSs! (He hears a scream.)**

**Female Bob: o nO! sOmEbOdY, sAvE mE!**

**Evil Bob: *evil laugh* I aM EvIl bOb! GoNnA tAkE YoUr bitCh AsS!**

**Bob: o mY GoD! HaVe nO FeAr, BoB iS HeRe tO SaVe yOu! (He flies over.)**

_**Oh my god it's Bob**_

_**It's Bob**_

_**He's flying through the sky**_

_**Holy shet**_

**Bob: StOp rIgHt there, EvIlDoEr! I WiLl uSe mY SpEcIaL AtTaCk! (Fires green screened fireballs.)**

_**Plz sign my ass**_

_**I luv u**_

**Evil Bob: o nO! I HaVe bEeN DeFeAtEd! **

_**Ded**_

**Female Bob: o yEy! YoU SaVeD mE!**

**Bob: ShUt uP, WoMaN, LeT'S MaKe bAbIeS! (They have sex, then the credits roll.)**

**(SMG4 is pounding his head on the keyboard.)**

"We too. What the fuck was that?" Yang said.

"We could do a better movie with less budget." Ruby said.

"Would you subscribe?" Nova said. Everyone said no.

**WARIO PRANKS OMG! (GONE WRONG/SEXUAL) 100% NOT CLICKBAIT**

"I hate clickbait." Jaune said.

"It's just a prank bro?"

**Wario: Welcome to Wario Invasion, where we do pranks! Wahahaha! Oh yeah, by the way, check out my house, I'm so rich! (Gets startled by Big Smoke, who walked in.)**

**Big Smoke: You picked the wrong house, fool!**

Some of them laughed.

**(Cut.)**

**Wario: Okay, this is my ACTUAL house,-**

They laughed even more.

**Wario: -but it doesn't matter, cause we're gonna do pranks! But before we do, I wanna ask you, audience, for 50 MILLION LIKES! CAN WE HIT IT ON THIS VIDEO!? 50 MILLION LIKES! CAN WE FUCKING DO IT!? WHAT IS GOOD!? 50 MILLION! SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON! IT'S RIGHT DOWN THERE, I KNOW YOU'VE SEEN IT! AHHHHH! Destroy that like button! Like I destroyed your mama's pingas!**

"Her what?!" Yang said while laughing.

"I love that word." Nora said.

**Wario: (Cut to him out of breath.) Okay, but now it's time for the REAL content of the video... But first, this video is brought to you by Wario's Microgame Emporium! Selling all these crappy games for a high price! Come on down! Please! I need money! We have a range of games, such as "Kill The Person", "Run Over The Old Man", "Grope The Bo-"**

**SMG4: Come on, already! (It shows that the video is 10 hours long. He skips to the end.)**

"10 hours for an ad?!" Blake said.

**Wario: "Play With Knives", "Jump In The Lava", and much much more! Come on down to Wario's Emporium! Uh, what was I doing again? Oh yeah, that's right, the prank! (He runs over a Koopa.) Waheh, it's just a prank, bro! And that ends this episode of Wario Invasion! BUY MY STUFF!**

"That wasn't a prank!" Weiss said.

"Would you subscribe?" Nova said. Everyone said no.

"I would actually buy the game." Nora said.

**SMG4: ...I want to die.**

"So do we." Blake said.

**Frozen Elsa Spiderman DisneyCarToys Toy Channel Parody Cookie Monster Barbie and Ariel**

"5 million?!" Yang said.

"Oh no, kids channels." Nova said.

"What?"

"People make channels for kids, they take two characters and do skits."

"That doesn't sound bad." Pyrrha said.

"But they are so weird that they're not for children. Youtube was full of Elsa Spiderman videos. And more abominations like that were created. Now it's full of weird nursery rhymes, clay animations and actual good animations."

"Why would they make them?" Ren said.

"Because kids are stupid and parents are lazy. That's why Youtube is ruined."

**Fishy boopkin's Toy time ep 1**

**Fishy Boopkins: Uhh, we got... (Shows a Spider-Man figure.) Okay, we got this little toy over here, (Shows an Elsa doll.) and a princess. So the princess comes, "Hi, how are you?", "I'm okay!" "Okay, kiss!" (He makes them kiss.) Okay now- Look! (Shows an Eggman toy.) Another guy came in! Look, it's Dr. Eggman! "Oh no! "I'm gonna attack you!" "OH NO, DON'T ATTACK ME!" Ahh... Umm... Can I have likes now?**

**(SMG4 is on fire.)**

"Yeah, that was stupid." Weiss said.

**Cooking with bowser: The ultimate guide**

"Finally something more interesting."

"Mom's spaghetti?" Ruby said.

**Bowser: Uh, hello, guys, it's uh, Bowser's cooking show here. So, the ingredients we have today are: We have some, uh, tomatoes here. **

"Not Kirby!"

**Bowser: We have some uh, some lettuce or some shit, I don't know what that is.**

"Of course it's weed, what else?" Jaune said.

**Bowser: We have some uh... Eggs, I guess. Those are like eggs, so I'm just gonna say they're eggs. And uh... Have some uh... Secret Peach Sauce here. Not gonna say what that is. **

"Wait, is that bleach?" Pyrrha said.

**Bowser: OK, so get all that shit, put it in that shit, blend that shit for, I don't know, like, 10 seconds, put that shit out and BAM! You got a nice delicious... (Giant Engineer head.) Meal there. Very nutritious. Uh like comment and subscribe. (End card.)**

"A mechanic's head. _Tasty._" Nova said.

**(SMG4 tried to follow along, but he completely destroyed his.)**

**SMG4: WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?!**

"Oh my god, thank you! I never get that like in the video!" Pyrrha said.

**Government run by Illuminati?!**

**"Government is Illuminati?!" This video has been taken down due to claims by the FBI and Government. No witnesses.**

**SMG4: (Major :O face.)**

Everyone laughed. "Okay, that was good." Yang said.

**HOW 2 DO THE MAKEUPS FT. WALUIGI**

"Come on, make-up video? I hate those." Blake said.

"These are a lot of zeroes." Jaune said.

"Negative zeroes." Nora said.

**Peach: Hi! Today, I'm gonna teach you how to look good for your man! (MLG montage)**

"What the hell was that?" Weiss said.

"The proof that girls and memes don't go well." Nova said.

"Is that a challenge?" Nora said.

"Except for you, you're actually funny."

**Peach: A fuckin' mastapiece!**

**(In the end, Waluigi looks like Robbie Rotten. )**

"Robbie Rotten?!" Ruby said.

"_Who did you expect? Sportaflop?"_

"Someone's been watching Oney lately." Yang said.

"Someone knows what I'm talking about."

"Touché."

**(He then kills himself.)**

Some of them laughed.

**SMG4: Boooring! Why does everyone suck balls! Cmoon... There's only one person left...And they better have a damn good video!**

**MARIO REACTS TO SMG4! (Numerous emojis.)**

"Reaction videos? Who watches these? Why would people watch these?" Weiss said.

"Because when people watch something funny, they wonder how other people would react. And especially a fictional character. That's why all those Dragon Ball and Sonic character channels exist." Jaune said.

"You watch these videos?" Pyrrha said.

"I confess. I do."

"Me too..." Ruby said.

"Me too..." Yang said.

"Me too." Nora said.

"... Me too..." Blake said.

"Even you, Blake?" Weiss said.

"Me too..." Ren said.

"You too, Ren?!" Nora said.

**(Fancy TheAwesomeMario intro.)**

"I hate these intros. All reaction channels have these intros!" Jaune said.

**Mario: Welcome! Today, Mario is gonna watch Who let the chomp out. Let's go! (He watches and does a couple reactions at first, but quickly and obviously loses interest, as he's seen goofing around, reading, and going to the restroom.) **

"This is so accurate. The only thing missing is the merch."

**Mario: Oh yeah, don't forget to buy one of my shirts! **

"There it is."

**Mario:(Lastly, he naps.) Well that was a video. SMG4, pls make if Mario was in ya mom :D Uh, BYE!**

**SMG4: °_° Well, that a load of shit. **

"Couldn't say it better." Yang said.

**SMG4: Let's watch some REAL youtube videos! (He watches 10-hour pingas music. He happily hums.) If there's a better use for the Internet, I haven't found it. **

"Well, that's over." Weiss said. 'Finally.'

"There's a second part." Nova said. Weiss was screaming internally.

"Let's get over with it." Yang said.

**DISCLAIMER: All channels in the MarioTube series EXCEPT for TheAwesomeMario are made up...**

**Luke Lerdwichagul: Hey guys! All channels in the MarioTube video are not real, except for TheAwesomeMario. So if you see any of these channels in YouTube, they're not run by me. And that's all. Enjoy the video!**

**(SMG4 Productions intro.)**

**(The episode starts with SMG4 at his computer.)**

**SMG4: Gee, it sure is boring around here.**

**(Mario suddenly bursts in, looking all depressed, and flops down on the ground, crying.)**

"Don't tell me, he got demonetized?"

**SMG4: *sigh* ...What is it, Mario?**

**(Mario shows him his laptop.)**

**Your channel: TheAwesomeMario has been banned**

**Reason: Extensive Swearing**

"That's lame." Nora said.

**SMG4: Oh yeah, Youtube has been adding more strict policies so you gotta be more careful.**

**Mario: OH HELL NO! This won't stop Mario! I'll make a new channel! (He runs out.)**

**SMG4: Hmmm...I wonder if the other guys have had their channels banned...**

**(An angry Luigi is on his laptop.)**

**Luigi: Oh, Hell no!**

**Your channel: Weegeepie has been banned**

**Reason: Copyright infringement**

**(He ponders.)**

"Why... is his nose... I don't care anymore." Blake said.

**SMG4 IS DEALING?, MARIO GOES STREAKING! TOAD GOES CRAZY OFF CANDY! - WEEGEE ALERT**

"Is it DramaAlert?" Jaune said.

**Supah Weegee Alert**

"It is!"

**Luigi: Welcome to Luigi Alert! The best news channel in the world! OK, so first we have breaking news. YouTuber SMG4 was spotted dealing memes in alleyways in downtown Mushroom Kingdom. (At the scene.) OK guys, so here I am at the site where SMG4 was last spotted.**

"At least it's better than drugs?" Ruby said.

"You know what they say, selling meth? Get infinite death." Nova said and Yang started laughing.

"Nice one." she said.

**SMG4: Hey, you want some memes? (Presents a meme.)**

**Luigi: ...How much do you charge?**

"This is some high quality cancer." Nora said.

**(Back at the studio.)**

**Luigi: Next up, Toad goes on a rampage through town fueled by sugar and doing inappropriate behavior, as seen here. (He shows Toad going crazy.) Oh boy! We have Toad on the line now for an interview! Hey Toad, why do you do such acts?**

**Toad: No one wants to hear your s**t, Luigi!**

Some of them laughed.

**Luigi: Thank you for your time, Toad. Lastly, Mario goes naked once again and everyone within a kilometer of him goes blind!**

**(Mario bursts in, nude.)**

**Mario: Did somebody say "Mario"!?**

**Luigi: NO, MARIO, GET OUT OF HERE! YOU"RE NAKED AND MY CHANNEL WILL BE BANN-**

**Your channel: Supah Weegee Alert has been banned**

**Reason: Nudity**

Everyone laughed.

"Did somebody say Mario? That was good." Yang said.

**Bob: (On a laptop.) wHaT tHe hElL iS tHis BuLlsHiT?!**

**Your channel: super BOB glitchy 4 has been banned**

**Reason: Implications of terrorism**

"Terrorism? How?!" Weiss said.

**Bob: WeLl, WhAteVeR. I wAs BeCoMiNg tOo pOpUlAr AnYwAy. It's tImE I FoCuS oN mY rApPiNg CaReEr!**

**BOB - THE BEST RAPPER IN THE WORLD**

"This will be painful to hear." Yang sais.**Bob's Raps**

**Bob: If YoU wErE lOoKiNg fOr tHe bEsT sOnG iN tHe WoRlD... tHeN lOoK nO fUrThEr! BeCaUsE yOu hAvE cOmE aCrOsS tHe bEsT oF tHe BeSt! ArE yOu ReAdY? (Beatbox, then awful rapping.) **

_**B-O-B. YoU hEaRd ThAt RiGhT **_

_**BoB iS hErE, AnD iT'S gOnNa bE tIgHt! **_

_**mUsHrOoM KInGdOm, BoRn aNd RaIsEd. **_

_**sEwErS iS wHeRe I sPeNt MoSt Of My DaYs. **_

_**KnEeS wEaK, aSs SwEaTy, **_

_**SoMeThInG sOmEtHiNg MoM'S sPaGhEtTi. **_

_**KaNyE WeSt, KeNdRiCk LaMaR, **_

_**MoRgAn FrEeMaN, aNd uM, JaFaR. **_

_**yOu'Ve JuSt BeEn OvErThRoWn! **_

**o yEaH, bItCh! (Wild, loud cheering.)**

"The best of the best." Nora said.

"Please tell me that you're joking." Weiss said.

"Of course I'm joking, it fucking sucks. I'm crazy, not stupid."

**Your channel: Bob Paul has been banned**

**Reason: Making people's ears bleed**

**Fishy Boopkins: (On a laptop.) Oh no! What happened to my channel?**

**Your channel: Fishy boopkins toy time has been banned**

**Reason: Too cancerous**

**Fishy Boopkins: You know what? I'm gonna go make a new one! It's gonna be better!**

"Nursery rhymes?" Ruby said.

**Fishy boopkins play time extra fun ep 1**

"Okay, that's ridiculous. 8.4 million?" Blake said.

"And accurate." Nova said.

"At least it's educational?" Pyrrha said.

**Fishy Boopkins: Hey, everybody! Welcome to Fishy Boopkins Play School! Today, we're gonna learn all about animals! Okay, to start off, we have this T-Rex. ROAR goes the T-Rex! Then, we have this tank. BOOM goes the tank! Yay, destruction! **

"Wait, a tank? Wasn't he talking about animals?" Ruby said.

**Fishy Boopkins: Here we have a plutonium rod. EEEEEEEEE goes the plutonium rod. (He gets set on fire.) It feels like burning... Have you guys noticed the theme of today? It's not actually animals. It's the color green! Let's sing! Put on the song! (Music.) **

"Okay, this is actually pretty normal-ish..." Ruby said.

**Fishy Boopkins:**_** Green is for (YOSHI!)**_

_**Greens is for (Luigi!)**_

_**Green is for (pickles!) **_

_**Green is for WORLD DOMINATIOOOON! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!**_

"World domination?"

**Your channel: Fishy Boopkins Weenie hut jnr fun has been banned**

**Reason: Attempted world domination**

"That's bullshit." Yang said.

**Wario: (On a laptop.) What's-a going on here? Oh... *groan, growl***

**Your channel: Wario Invasion has been banned**

**Reason: Misleading content**

**Wario: Somebody cheated... I can't lose!**

**WARIO DOES SOME DARES! (NOT CLICKBAIT!)**

"Oh, I like dares!"

**Wario: Hello, you sexy Warios... uh, yeah. I'm-a done with pranks now and I'm actually gonna do some content, like... Dares! That's right, no more advertisements! (BUY MY CRAP CALL 1800-432405347625) Hehehe. Alright, let's read some suggestions!**

**EAT THE HOTTEST CHILI SAUCE WHILE SINGING I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU - By Titysprinkles69**

**Wario: (Eats chili.) Ok, here we go. (Disclaimer: I actually ate chili) (He horribly sings I Will Always Love You until he explodes and falls in water.)**

Everyone laughed. "The sacrifices that people make." Ruby said.

**Ride in a shopping cart and do mad trix - By Icryatnaightwithmaiwaifus**

**Wario: I'm-a Wario... And this is Jackass! (He gets in the cart and does tricks.)**

"He doesn't even fit!" she said while laughing.

**TROLLEY JUMP - 200 POINTS**

**SEXY GRIND - 50 POINTS**

**THE CHOLESTEROL - 4000 POINTS (Fantastic!)**

**THE HEAD COME - 900 POINTS (OW!) (WOW!)**

**FLYING FAT MAN - 15000X3 POINTS**

**Wario: Here I go! (Falls off the ramp lazily.)**

**THE GARLIC BREATH - 100000 POINTS (Holy s**t...!)**

"We should do some dares too." Yang said.

"I'm in!" Nora said.

"How about no?" Weiss said.

"What's wrong? Scared?" Yang said.

"Of course not. I just don't want to get embarrassed in public."

"Looks like we have a chicken here."

"More like a peacock." Nova said.

**I dare you to have a stable life and source of income. - By FOOKINGRINGRINGRING**

"That must be difficult." Jaune said.

**Wario: Hahaha, funny. Ha. Just joking, you guys. Heh... No... Like... (He collapses on the ground, crying.)**

**Your channel: Wario Dares has been banned**

**Reason: Too depressing**

"I feel bad for laughing." Yang said while holding her laughter.

**Bowser: (On a laptop.) *yell, grunt***

**Your channel: Chef Bowser has been banned**

**Reason: Your recipes didnt work**

**Bowser: OH HELL, NO!**

**Bowser reviews the I-shroom600 phone**

"Tech reviews?" Ruby said.

**Bowser: Okay, so today, we're gonna be reviewing the iShroom 600.**

**I-shroom600**

**Camera: 144p**

**Screen size: none**

**Storage: 240kb**

**RAM: 1mb**

**Processor 69 GHz super wumbo apple core :O**

**Price: your life**

"He must be getting paid a lot to review that shitty phone." Jaune said.

**Bowser: It's a pretty good phone. It came around about uh... I dunno, like 10 years ago or some s**t like that. (Correction: 1973) So as you can see, it's got these uh shitty ass sugar cube ass buttons on it here, which you can hardly press. I can't use it with my big ass, dinosaur-turtle hands. So, mine is punch pad, I guess. Another thing you can do with it is that you can make some mad beats. You know, by pressing the little numbers here. I'm-a make some right now, here we go... (Plays "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star".) Look at this Mozart shit going on! So, uh, the main issue with this phone is that it, uh, it doesn't-it doesn't have a fucking screen. So, you can't play your Angry Birds, you can't play your Candy Crush Saga, you can't see what the hell you're doing. Or unless you're fucking blind. I guess... This phone can double up as a snack. Y'know, seeing as though it's a... Fucking mushroom. Here we go, we're gonna do a little taste test review here. (Chomp.) Mmm... Delicious, uh, circuitry. My mouth is bleeding. I'll be right back.**

**(Later...)**

"What else did he expect?" Pyrrha said?

**Bowser: I'm getting tired of reviewing shitty ass technology. So, I'm jus-I'm just going to become a tech-destruction channel. Fuck all this shit. (He goes to a store where he destroys any and all tech stuff.)**

"Yes! He just got a subscriber! If it existed." Nora said.

**Your channel: Bowser Tech reviews has been banned**

**Reason: Screw you bowser, why you gotta be destroying shit, don't you have anything better to do. you know you're better than this, why you gotta do this? also why do you have to steal the princess? I mean shes not even that hot shes like a 1/10 now have you seen birdo thats some thicc dino ass righht there. oh what was I typing about? I forgot lol. anyway, my wife left me so Im stuck here typ**

"Aww..."

**Peach: Awww... No.**

**Waluigi: Oh no!**

**Your channel: Peachy make up crap has been banned**

**Reason: Animal cruelty**

Everyone laughed. "Sounds about right." Yang said.

**(Waluigi ponders.)**

**Peach: Next time, it's mine.**

**Top 10 anime fights of all time**

"Yes! And I was like, what about top 10 lists." Jaune said.

**(Flashy intro.)**

**Waluigi: Welcome to the top 10 WAAAAAAAAHtchmojo!**

**Peach: With Peach, I guess, yay!**

**Waluigi: Today, we're looking at top 10 anime fights!**

**Peach: Oh yay!**

**Waluigi: Number 10, Star Wars Episode 12. How intense! Look at that, they're spinning their lightsabers around!**

"Is that Arin?" Ruby said.

**Peach: Number 9, Spongebob versus Patrick!**

**Waluigi: For all those people with a foot fetish out there, I suppose... That's amazing!**

"Eww! Who likes licking someones feet?!"

**Waluigi: Number 8, Ronald McDonald versus Hungry Jacks! Oh God, that poor kid!**

Some of them laughed. "I love Rackaracka." Jaune said.

**Peach: Number 7, Pokemon: The Forgotten Tales.**

**Waluigi: Oh, the humanity! OH NO! OH GOD!**

"Wow, that looks really old."

**Peach: A really cute fight indeed. 10/10.**

**Waluigi: Number 6, Guy versus door! OH! And it's a KO!**

"That must have hurt." Ruby said.

**Peach: Hey, that sucks! Barney versus Cookie Monster was better! Look at that cinematography!**

**Waluigi: Peach, you suck at judging! Remember that one time Arthur punches his sister, whatever her name is?**

**Peach: Hey, you wanna go mate? I'll fight you!**

**Waluigi: No, I'll fight you! Come on, Bitch! I'll fucking kill you! (He and Peach fight.)**

**(No. 1: Peach vs. Waluigi)**

"This is his chance to get in Smash." Ruby said.

**Your channel: WAAAAAAHtchmojo with peach i guess has been banned**

**Reason: Domestic violence**

**MARIO"S LIFE IS SO AWESOME, :D**

**Mario: Hello, welcome to Mario vlogs! :D**

"Is this GTA?" Yang said.

**Mario: (He goes around doing random stuff.)**

"But seriously, who watches vlogs?" Nova said. Then everyone raised their hand.

**Mario: Yahooo...oh man, this just doesn't feel the same...I miss my old channel... That's it! Mario gonna go to Youtube and get his channel back!**

**(Mario ninjas his way around YouTube HQ.)**

"He's more stealthy than you, Blake." Yang said.

"Shut up. This is painful to watch." she said.

**Mario: ooh...Mario's cloak ability...activate! (He gets past the employees and finds out he is close to the central mainframe servers.)**

Some of them laughed.

**Guard: Hey! Who the hell are you?**

**Mario: I am depressed.**

**Guard: ...Okay, I guess that makes sense. (He walks away. Mario enters the room.)**

Some of them facepalmed.

**Mario: I'm in. (He hacks until his channel is back up. He celebrates.) I am so smart! I am so smart! and now time to wash off any traces that mario was here! (He pours water on the machines, causing them to malfunction.) **

"What are you doing?!" Ruby said.

**Mario: Woah! Nice computer- (BOOM!)**

**ERROR**

**The video "MarioTube 2" could not be loaded from our servers**

**Sorry about that**

"Is it over now?" Weiss said.

"Yes." Nova said.

"*sigh*"

"You forgot the extras!" Nora said.

"Oh yeah." Nova said. Weiss was forcing herself not to destroy everything.

**(Intro)**

**How to hide a body**

"What?!" Pyrrha said.

**Toadsworth Tips**

**Toadsworth: Welcome back viewers! In the last episode I told you how to "take care" of someone. In this episode I will teach you how to get rid of them! Let's go!**

"Does anyone else feels uncomfortable watching this?" Jaune said.

**Step 1: Get rid of any traces of DNA**

**(He pours gasoline over the body and throws a match, burning it)**

**GREAT!**

**Step 2: Make it look like an accident**

**(He throws the body)**

**Step 3: Place fake evidence (Remember to wear gloves)**

**(Places weapons next to the body)**

**Toadsworth: And that's how you get rid of a body folks! Tune in next week to learn how to run from the police! See you next time!**

"I hope we won't." Ruby said.

**SMG4 EXPOSED.**

"Wait, it didn't go down!" Weiss said.

**SMG3: SMG4. This is revenge for all those times you have foiled my plans. Now the world will know the true SMG4. (SMG4 picks a bra from a trashcan, plays with ponies)**

**SMG4: Ugh... so... many... stairs. (There like 5 stairs. He plays the guitar terribly.)**

Some of them laughed.

**THE SECRET TO SMG4'S VIDEOS**

"Drugs?" Yang said.

**E. Gadd: After so many hours I've created a hypothesis of elements that go into a SMG4 video. Watch and learn, fellow viewers. First off, SMG4 kicks off the video by eating exactly 5 and 1/2 mushrooms. Followed by smashing your head against the desk with the force of 5.5 Newtons. As you can see this allows a strong visual imagery in his head. Maximizing a sensitive thinking of stupid ideas for videos. Next he opens up Windows Movie Maker and gets the bird tipper that executes his commands. As he demonstrates here. (Demonstration)**

Some of them laughed.

**E. Gadd: Next he sits and plays Cookie Clicker, prancing over his bird tipper every few hours. (It falls and SMG4 shrugs) It is a very thought-out and complex process which he executes, weekly. To make this simple for you the viewers, I have compressed this into a simple formula for you to make your own content videos. Here it is: Youtube= negative Thomas + or - the square root of Snoop Dogg squared - 4 Po and Dinky Winky over 2 Mario. I'm a fucking genius. And that's all for this episode viewers. I'll see you all next time!**

Nora was actually taking notes.

**Awesome City Naruto Parkour & Knuckles (i die lol)**

"Parkour videos aren't that impressive. Everyone here can parkour." Blake said.

**(Awesome parkour montage with Anime BGM... until he dies.)**

**He dies (sad music)**

"Is it over? Please tell me this is over!" Weiss said begging and holding Nova's shirt.

"It is."

"Yes! Yes!". She was crying from happiness.

_(JoJo references: 26)_

**And done! Like, follow and review if you want, I wouldn't. Sent a PM and read the Nova Force. See you soon!**


	63. How the universe is way bigger than you

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 61:**** How the universe is way bigger than you think**

"Does anyone else have any suggestions?" Nova said. Everyone looked at each other, no one having anything to suggest. "Okay, if you don't then I'll put some DevilArtemis and leave."

"NO! Not again! Come on, someone think of something!" Weiss said. "Nothing?! Please! Uhh... Jaune, how about you?! Please, I beg you! If you say something, I might go out with you!"

"You will?" Jaune said.

"How about... space?" Pyrrha said all of a sudden.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, space. I want to learn about space... yeah."

"Okay, space it is." Nova said. Then Weiss, full of tears, ran and gave Pyrrha a hug.

"Thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" Weiss said.

"You're welcome..." Pyrrha said, with a confused smile.

"Drama queen." Nora said.

**This is Earth. You live here on this planet somewhere and everything that you've ever known is located right here, but just how small exactly is Earth when compared to the scale of the entire universe? Let's start by zooming out to where we can see our nearest cosmic neighbor, the moon. You may think that the moon is very close to Earth since it dominates our night skies. But in reality the moon isn't this close to our planet, it's actually about this far away. 384,400 kilometres away from you right now on average.**

"What?!" everyone said.

"But it looks like it's very close!" Ruby said.

"Actually in comparison to Earth, your moon is closer to your planet." Nova said.

"It's fascinating!" Pyrrha said.

**You could fit 30 entire Earth in between this distance and if you somehow were able to drive a car at a constant 100 km/h speed, it would take you about 160 days to drive the entire distance. Despite this incredible distance however, 12 humans have actually set foot here representing the farthest away that any individual human has ever been away from the Earth and one of humanity's greatest achievements.**

"I want to go to the moon!" Ruby said.

"Me too! I'll put that on my list!" Nora said.

"What list?" Yang said.

"She decided to make a list about every possible thing she wants to do." Ren said.

"That's right! And I'll put... what is it called?" Nora said.

"Astronaut." Nova said.

"Yes, astronaut. Right after, chef, queen, police officer and cartoon."

"A cartoon?" Blake said.

"Yeah, why not?"

**This is what the Earth would look like from here, if you were standing there with them. And if you wanted to communicate with somebody back at home, it would take a message about 2 1/2 seconds to travel between you and them since that's how fast the speed of light can travel at. This is a phot that was taken on Mars and that tiny dot that you see there is Earth as seen from the Martian surface.**

"Woah, it looks so tiny!" Ruby said.

**On average, Mars is an incredible 225 million kilometres away from Earth but that distance can be as high as 401 million kilometres. That means that whenever humanity finally gets around to landing a human on a planet, that person will be 986 times further away from Earth thannthe astronauts who landed on the moon were.**

"If they haven't, then how are these pictures taken?" Weiss said.

"They sent robots and satellites." Nova said.

"It's amazing how technology evolved all these years." Jaune said.

**In addition the time delay for sending a message from Mars back to Earth isn't just two and a half seconds, it's actually more like 20 minutes each direction. Which would render instant communication in the event of an emergency impossible. When we zoom out even further away we can find the Voyager 1 space probe, which is the farthest away man-made object from Earth. It is currently located 138 AU's from the Earth. AU meaning astronomical unit, which is the distance between the Earth and the Sun. Which means that Voyager 1 is 138 times further away from us than the Sun is.**

"I wonder how far is that." Ruby said.

"A lot of zeroes." Nova said.

**At some point on its long voyage, Voyager 1 turned its camera around and took this photograph. It may not look like much at first, but in my opinion this is the greatest single photograph ever taken in all of human history.**

"That dot is Earth?!" Weiss said.

**This tiny pale blue dot is Earth and I don't think that anybody has ever said something as amazing about this as Carl Sagan when he said "If you look at it, you see a dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings. Thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines. Every hunter and every forager. Every hero and coward. Every creator and destroyer of civilizations. Every king and every peasant. Every young couple in love. Every hopeful child. Every mother and every father. Every inventor and explorer. Every teacher of morals. Every corrupt politician. Every superstar. Every supreme leader. Every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there, on a moat of dust suspended in a sunbeam."**

Everyone didn't have any words.

"Amazing, right?" Nova said.

"This is incredible! Everything that happened that left its mark on our history, it's tiny and insignificant compared to the large space." Blake said.

"I feel very tiny right now." Yang said.

"Wait, if that's the farthest, then how did Earth looked smaller in the picture from Mars?" Pyrrha said.

"Lighting." Nova said.

**Voyager 1 is currently traveling at 17 kilometres every single second, but even at that speed it won't break out of the reach of our solar system fro another 30,000 years.**

"How many?!" everyone said.

**Once we go beyond the solar system, we arrive in our interstellar neighborhood. Here we shift to the light-year unit of measurement which is the distance that light travels in a full Earth year or about 9.461 trillion kilometres.**

"That's a big number." Yang said.

**The star Proxima Centauri here, is the closest other star to us other to our Sun, but it's still 4.24 light-years away from us. To put that into perspective, if it was heading in the right direction, it would still take Voyager 1 over 70,000 years to reach it. In other words, if you drove your car at 100 km/h, like in our previous example to the moon, it would take over 6 times longer than the entire age of the universe is just to finally get there and it wouldn't even exist still when you arrived.**

"Why wouldn't it exist?" Ruby said.

"Because it'll explode at some point." Nova said. "All stars explode."

**When we zoom out even further, we can see the entire Milky Way galaxy. Inside of which, Earth is located right here. This yellow dot is the farthest extent of humanity's radio broadcasts throughout history.**

"Radio signals can reach that far in space?" Blake said.

**Which means that any possible aliens who live outside of this range are totally unaware of humanity's presence. It's complete silence outside of this yellow dot as far as we are currently aware, but the entire galaxy spans over 100,000 light-years from end to end. There are over 100 billion stars and over 100 billion planets inside of our galaxy, but you have never seen the full glory of the galaxy at night. Because 99% of the stars that you can see with the naked eye are limited to this small tiny region right here.**

"Only that?!" Ruby said.

"The light of the other stars wouldn't reach our eyes." Blake said.

**But even this massive galaxy is nothing compared to the rest of what's out there. Zooming out even further and we arrive at the local group of galaxies. A collection of 54 different galaxies that is about 10 million light-years across. But zooming out even further and we can see the Virgo supercluster. Of which the local group here is just a tiny segment of.**

"Holy crap! How small are we?" Yang said.

**There are at least 100 other groups of galaxies just like our own local group inside of here. And the distance from one side to the other is a mind-numbing 110 million light-years. But even the massive Virgo supercluster is nothing but a quiet and tiny lobe of the great Laniakea supercluster.**

"Even further?!" Ruby said, while laughing a little.

"How big is the universe?" Jaune said.

**An enormous structure that is home to our galaxy as well as 100,000 other galaxies. The distance from one side to the other is 520 million light-years. But from even there,-**

Everyone was laughing a little because the distance became ridiculously big.

"More?!" Weiss said.

**\- we can zoom out all the way to the entire observable universe and see that even the titanic Laniakea supercluster is just a tiny and insignificant part of everything. This is the observable universe and it contains everything that we know of. It is home to at least 2 trillion different individual galaxies. Which together contain more stars than there are grains of sand on the entire Earth.**

"Amazing..." Blake said in awe.

**The distance from Earth to any side of the observable universe is 46.5 billion light-years. Which means that the entire width is 93 billion light-years across.**

"But that's only the universe that we know." Ren said.

**What's perhaps even more interesting however is what actually lies beyond the observable universe. Keep in mind that the observable universe is all that we can currently see. And it's entirely possible that the rest of the universe outside of it is vastly larger and more fantastic that we can possibly ever imagine. We simply don't know what else is out there. Because the light from these incredibly distant places has not yet had enough time in the universe's history to reach us yet, back on Earth and the light from some places may never reach us at all. Because some parts of space very far away from Earth are expanding away from us faster than the speed of light. That means that the light from these places will never in an infinite amount of time, reach Earth. Meaning that even if humanity is eternal and exists forever, there will still be an unknown number of places in the universe that we will never know about or ever see.**

"That's too bad." Ruby said.

**So it is very likely that as unbelievably enormous as it seems, the observable universe is just a tiny slice of what we can currently see of the entire universe. According to the theory of cosmic inflation that was proposed by Dr. Alan Guth, if it is assumed that cosmic inflation began at 10 to the -37th of a second after the Big Bang and with the assumption that the size of the universe before inflation began was equal to its age times the speed of light, then this would seem to suggest that at the present day, the entire universe is 150 sextillion times larger than the observable universe. That number for reference looks like this,(150,000,000,000,000,000,000,000) with this many zeroes, let this number sink in for just a moment.**

"22 zeroes!" Jaune said.

"Thanks Nova." Yang said, making him laugh.

**This would be similar to you thinking that the entire observable universe, everything that you could see, was the size if a lightbulb, but then realizing that in reality, the entire universe is larger than the former planet of Pluto. Imagine a lightbulb in the center of Pluto, but we inside the inside the lightbulb were totally unaware that Pluto existwd outside of it. And that's a similar situation to this.**

"This is even worse than being tiny and insignificant. We're basically nothing." Weiss said.

**We are all so unbelievably small, but you shouldn't worry, because all that means is that there is so much left out there for us to discover together.**

"That was an amazing video." Pyrrha said.

"I wonder if our universe is as beautiful." Ruby said.

"Of course it is. Every universe is beautiful. And even the smallest thing makes it beautiful." Nova said, ruffling her hair. "Except for black holes."

"I have a question. If Voyager 1 is the farthest man-made object from Earth, and it didn't get out ofbthe solar system, how do they know about what's outside it?" Nora asked.

"Telescopes." Ren said.

"They can reach that far?"

"They're special telescopes. And the planet were discovered and named in ancient Greece. If telescopes could do that then, imagine telescopes now. I think you kids should finish normal school before going in a fighting academy." Nova said.

"I think that was a problem for a long time." Pyrrha said.

"Okay, now that we got some knowledge, let's burn it with some DevilArtemis."

**And done! Like, follow and review. Sent a PM and read the Nova Force. See you soon!**


	64. April Fool's

**APRIL FOOL'S EVERYONE! This is not canon to my story, I just wanted to do it. I hope you're ready. But before about I want to talk you about a great app called Raid Shadow-**

* * *

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Special chapter: April Fool's!**

It was a normal day. Actually not normal at all because it was April 1st. In team RWBY's dorm, the girls were sleeping. Except for a Yang who planned something. She quietly got up and exited the room. She put on her scroll the Monsters Inc Earrape theme. She quickly threw the scroll inside and closed the door. The song started and inside they woke up screaming. "AHHHHHHH!"

"WHAT THE HELL?! MY EARS!"

"WHO DID THIS?!"

"YAAAAAANG!". Right now she was laughing her ass off. She entered and saw her friends who were really angry.

"April Fool's!" Yang said and they whined.

"So the day is gonna go like this?" Blake said.

"Pretty much." Ruby said.

"And I wanted a peaceful Saturday." Weiss said.

* * *

After that, they got up, took a bath and got dressed. But Yang was still in the bath because of her hair and she's a girl, don't forget that. "How are we going to survive today?"

"I don't know about you, but I'll be outside, reading my book. See ya." Blake said and then exited the room.

"Well Ruby, you grew up with her, do you have any ideas?"

"Don't worry, she's predictable. This isn't the first she has done that. It will be o... what is that?" Ruby said. In the middle she saw a table with a plate of cookies. Chocolate chip cookies. "Cookies?"

"That wasn't here before.". Then she saw Ruby going towards it. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm going to eat them."

"Why?! It could be another prank!"

"It's not. She sucks at cooking. And I can smell the chocolate from here. And it smells delicious." She took a bite, but the spit it out. She was on her knees, coughing, like it was the worst thing she ever tasted. "WHAT IS THIS?!". Then Nova appeared out of nowhere.

"HAHA! April Fool's! he said.

"Nova?!"

"You dumb fucking cretin! You fucking fool! Absolute fucking buffoon! You bumbling idiot! You thought it was a plate of chocolate chip cookies! But it wasn't chocolate, IT WAS BROCCOLI PIECES!". And that was it. The biggest blasphemy ever. Her entire world shattered. It was like someone blew up her heart with a shotgun.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Her cry echoed throughout the world. She curled and had a mental breakdown, sucking her thumb.

"What did you do! You broke her!" Weiss said.

"And I just started baby! April Fool's is day that I can release all the craziness I was holding for an entire year.". Then they both heard screaming from the bathroom. Yang kicked the door furiously. Her eyes were crimson and her hair... green.

"WHO DID THIS?!" Yang said.

"Oh no! She has gone _berserk!_ (Ba dum tss!) So many people to prank, so little time. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Don't you have a girlfriend to spend time with?" Weiss said.

"I already pranked her."

* * *

"Oh my god, your so adorable! That reminds so many memories, when you were so little!". Fiona's mother was at Fiona's new luxurious place, holding her grumpy chibi daughter on her hug along with her friends.

"This is so. Embarrassing!" Fiona said.

"Our leader is so cute! I just want to dip her in chocolate and eat her!" Rita said.

"Oh my gosh, we must dress her up in cute clothes and take pictures!" Alice said.

"Please no..." Fiona said.

"I got the camera!" Lillie said.

"NOOOOOOOOOVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

_Back with the gang_

"I'm on fire!" Nova said. He then ran outside to find his next victim.

"I don't like this at all." Yang said. But then Nova returned because he forgot to prank Weiss.

"I almost forgot." He took a bucket out of nowhere, put it on her head and started hitting it with a hammer. But he was hitting too hard and he changed its shape, encasing her head. "PRANKED! WOO HOO WOO HOO WOO HOO WOO HOO!". He then left, jumping around like a cartoon.

"That's it! Let's go after him!"

"Yeah! He must pay for his sins!" Ruby said.

"*muffled sounds and agreeing noises*" Weiss said. Then they ran out, but Weiss bumped on the wall.

"Oh yeah, we should help her." Yang said.

"I'll get the blow torch." Ruby said.

* * *

Let's go see Nova's next victim. Pyrrha was walking in the halls, when suddenly she got a notification." What's this?" she said. It was a message from an unknown number. "_You must help. The faunus prince is attacked by racism. If you want to help him, sent money right now to save him. Hurry up._". She deleted the text and continued walking. She then got another message from the same number. "_This is your last chance to save him._ Leave me alone!". She deleted the message and continued. But she got another message. "Stop sending me messages! *gasp*... no...". This time it had a photo, with some people, the severed head of the faunus prince and his body shish kebab'd on a metal rod. "_You could've saved him. You are a terrible person._" She then got on her knees and cried. "What have I done?! I could've saved him!". Then Nova came.

"What happened?!" he said.

"I did something terrible!... And now the faunus prince is dead!"

"Pyrrha, calm down. There's no such thing as a faunus prince."

"... Huh?"

"April Fool's."

"... What?". He then started laughing like crazy.

"Oh my! You should have seen your face! It was like _what?_" He got on the floors, laughing." You were crying!". He calmed down after a couple of minutes and got up. Then Pyrrha punched him in the shoulder, but that didn't ruin his mood.

"You jerk!"

"Oh man, that was priceless!"

"What was that picture?!"

"I made it. Anyway, time for more pranks." He then saw at the corner Jaune, hitting on a girl. "Ooh, looks like he did something smart." Then Pyrrha got worried, because he was her crush and she's a giiiiiirl. "This will be fun.". He quickly went there to ruin it. "Hey Jauney Jauney, how's it going BLSD?"

"Nova? What are you doing here?" he said.

"I'm just... you know... hey who's this bitch?"

"Excuse me?!" she said.

"Hey, why are you rude? And her name is Lucy." Jaune said.

"Oh, you found another one already? You dumped the last one yesterday!"

"What?!" Lucy said. "What did you say?!"

"What are you talking about?!" Jaune said.

"You didn't know? He always asks girls out, fucks them the same day and dumps them the next one." Nova said.

"Is that true?!" Lucy daid.

"Of course not! I'd never do that!" Jaune said.

"All that just to prove that you're not gay. Also, I'm here to give you your weekly drug supply." Nova said, showing him a bag of cocaine.

"You do drugs too?!" Lucy said.

"Is that real cocaine?!" Jaune said.

"Hey, I would do the same thing if I had AIDS." Nova said.

"Dude, what the hell?! What are you saying?!" Then Lucy slapped him and left. "Look what you did!"

"I know. April Fool's. WOO HOO WOO HOO WOO HOO WOO HOO WOO HOO WOO HOO!". He then left bouncing all over the place.

"Aww man...". Then Pyrrha came and asked him what happened.

"What happened?"

"I just lost another chance. Why does the universe hate me so much? Pyrrha, why are you staring at me like that?". She was lost to her own fantasy, watching his beautiful dork face.

"Me?... I was, uhh... oh screw it, it's not canon anyways. Φίλα με ρε καύλα!". Then she grabbed him and kissed him. He was confused and shocked. He was about pushing her back, but he then thought:

'Fuck it, why not?'. And they continued kissing.

* * *

_"Oh people call me Daffy_

_They think that I am goony_

_Ah, just because I'm happy is no sign I'm Looney Tuney!_

_Oh when they say I'm nutsy_

_It sure gives me a pain_

_Please pass the ketchup I think its going to rain!_

_Oh you can't bounce a meatball_

_Though try with all your might_

_Ah turn on the radio I want to fly a kite._

_Good evening friends!"_

Nova was singing in the halls, trying to find his next victim. He then saw a happy Nora skipping and singing, because she's Nora and she's a giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl. "Hey Nora! High five!"

"Sure!" she said. They did a high five and she was immediately hit by thousands of volts. After that, she was covered in soot, with her hair staying up.

"April Fool's!". But she didn't look like she was affected by it.

"Wow, that felt great! Give me that!". She took the bomber from his hand and shocked her self. "THIS _*bzzt*. _IS _*bzzt*. _AMAZING! _*bzzt*"_

"That was unexpected. Anyway... can you stop shocking yourself?"

"Okay... _*bzzt* _Sorry.

"*sigh* I need you to do some things for me."

"What's in it for me?"

"What do you want?"

"My own pancake monkey butler."

"Deal. Now here's what you'll do.". He then whispered to her ear the pranks he wants her to do.

"You were just saying the word whisper."

"But you know what'll you do?"

"Of course! I can understand whisper."

"Good. Don't let me down. When you're done, meet me at the campus at 12 o' clock."

"You can count on me!"

"THERE HE IS!" Nova saw Ruby, Weiss and Yang coming right at him.

"I left everything you need outside your dorm. Good luck. Gotta accelerate quickly!" Nova said and then ran away. Nora then skipped happily towards where he told her to go. The three angry girls were chasing him, until something prevented them to move.

"Hey, what the hell?" Yang said.

"Did we just stepped on something?" Ruby said. They all looked that the floor was covered in gum.

"Gum? Seriously? Who would do that?" Weiss said, not noticing, as well as the others' the two students behind the corner, laughing at their successful prank.

"Yeah, glue is more efficient.". They tried to leave, but their feet were stuck to the floor.

"This feels very weird." Ruby said.

"I think there's a fetish for that. Blake probably knows more." Yang said. Nova noticed the sounds they were making while trying to escape. He did his own thing and if you watched Box Office Bunny, then you know how it will go. They started dancing while trying to escape, without the girls realising it. The two who did the prank were speechless about what they were seeing. Nova then escaped and ran away. Weiss noticed that, but then she saw the sisters getting into it. She then smacked their heads.

"Knock it off, you dolts! He's getting away!" Weiss said. They snapoed out of it and started chasing him again.

* * *

Let's go see someone else. Ren was in his dorm, meditating, when suddenly he heard someone knocking on the door. He got up, he opened the door and got blasted by a foam cannon, pinning him on the wall, like in that meme. "April Fool's, Ren!" Nora said. She then left to complete her job.

"...What can I say? It's my life." Ren said. _*Insert Seinfeld theme*_

* * *

**BGM: Twelfth street rag - SpongeBob SquarePants**

Let's go back to Nova where he's being chased by three angry anime girls. Then he thought of an idea. He splitted into three and took different directions, two on left and right and one ran behind them. And so the girls split up too. Ruby followed the one on the left. He chased him through the dorms. Now it's the door chase trope where they go through all the doors. She chases him, he chases her, he chases herself(?), with bicycles, pogo sticks, karts, Scooby Doo and the gang are being chased by the headless horseman. In the end she bumps on herself(?). Then all the students from the dorms take their weapons and shoot her, because she invaded their personal space. After that they go back, leaving Ruby confused. But she gets ran over by Nova and his kart.

* * *

Yang followed the one on the right. She turned at the corner, but she didn't see a pair of roller skates. So she started skating uncontrollably. "Out of the way!" she yelled to the students in front. She went through the crowd, but she was on her underwear now. "What the-?!". She kept skating, until she fell down the stairs. But it didn't end yet. The floor was covered in butter, so she slided, until she crashed headfirst into a wall. Nova then went and wrote the word THICC on her butt with a permanent marker and then ran way.

* * *

Weiss followed the one that ran the other way. He quickly opened a door that was on the floor and went down the stairs, closing it behind him. When Weiss did it, there were no stairs. She lifted it and placed it in front of her. She opened it now and the stairs were there. She walked up the stairs, but Nova appeared from the other side and pushed the door down, making her fall down the stairs. He closed the door and left. Weiss was trying to open it, but she couldn't. She put so much force that the door got up and fell on the other side, making her fall down the stairs again. She walked up the stairs. "Stupid cartoon logic!" she said. Then Nova appeared and put the door on the wall.

**End of BGM**

"I suggest that you should take a step back." Nova said.

"Why?"

"For this." She looked at where he was pointing and saw Ruby chasing another Nova. That Nova did a backflip and let Ruby keep running. She skidded all the way to stop, because she was using her semblance, but it just made her fall and tumble towards Weiss. She crashed into ee and both fell down the stairs. _*insert funny piano song while falling down the stairs* _(If you don't know what the song was, check out Asterix and Cleopatra, the scene with the pirates)

"Owwie..." Ruby said.

"Get off of me, you dolt!" Weiss said. The two Novas merged together as Ruby and Weiss were coming back. But then they saw the last Nova being chased by Yang, who was on fire right now from rage. That Nova, the moment they were close, he made a quick turn and stuck out his leg, making her trip and crash into the others, who just walked up the stairs, falling down the stairs again. _*insert same piano song*_

"Get your big chest of my face, I can't breathe- wow, your skin is very soft." Weiss said.

"Yang, why does it say THICC on your butt?" Ruby said.

"WHAT?!" she yelled. The Novas merged and became one again. He closed the door, took it and went to an open window. He opened it again, facing down, letting the girls fall down on a mud pit. They were very pissed right now.

"Bye!" Nova said. He folded the door, making it tiny, put it in his pocket and left.

* * *

Let's go to the last victim. Blake was sitting outside, in the shadow a tree and reading a book, because she is antisocial and A GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL. She was done reading and called it a day. "Oh man, how long was I sitting here? My ass got sore." she said. She didn't notice a Nora watching her with binoculars.

"Now it's my chance." Nora said. She looked at the tree. "Come on, I only need two. There.". She saw two adorable squirrels. She left her hiding place. She quickly went there and took an acorn. "Hey little squirrels. You want this nut?". She got their attention. "Then go get it!" She then hit it with her big-ass hammer and went right inside Blake's pants.

"What the-?". The squirrels ran to take the acorn and went inside her pants. She started screaming and moving around like crazy. "AHHHHHHHH! SOMETHING IS IN MY PANTS!"

"There. Oh, it's 11:55. I must meet Nova now!". She then left.

* * *

Meanwhile, Nova was standing at the campus, dressed up as a early 2000s rapper. "It's almost time." he said. Then he noticed the three muddy girls coming towards him, very angry. "Can I help you?"

"Never in my entire life. EVER! Have I been humiliated like that." Weiss said.

"You have ruined my hair TWICE now! Do you have any idea how much is going to take to make them again?!" Yang said.

"You have committed two big crimes against childhood! You must pay!" Ruby said.

"Come on, don't ruin it now. It's April Fool's. Things like that happen. One day you'll remember this moments and laugh." Nova said.

"I'm here!" Nora said who arrived just now.

"Great! Let me change your clothes now.". He snapped his fingers and she got dressed up like a rapper too.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Yang said.

"Freestyle. Are you ready?"

"I was born ready, dog! Hit it!" Nora said.

**BGM: S. I. M. P. - Phineas and Ferb**

Nova:_ Now somebody, anybody, everybody scream!_

"AHHHHHHH!". Blake just appeared, moving like crazy because- "There's squirrels in my pants!"

Nova: Woah, she's got some serious squirrels in her pants.

"There's squirrels in my pants!"

Nova:_ Tell me what's making you jump like that!_

_(S-I-M-P, squirrels in my pants!)_

_Ain't got no chickens, ain't got no rats_

_(S-I-M-P)_

"Squirrels in my pants!"

_S to the I to the M to the P,_

_Then maybe you can be moving like me_

Nora:_ Step right over and watch me put it down..._

"Squirrels! Squirrels!"

_(S to the I to the M to the P)_

_Step right over and watch me put it..._

_(S to the I to the M to the P!)_

Nora: Who_ you got back home, watering your plants?_

_(S-I-M-P, squirrels in my pants!)_

Nova:_ How can I qualify for government grants?_

_(S-I-M-P, squirrels in my pants!)_

Nora:_ Yeah, hypnotize me, put me in a trance_

_(S-I-M-P, squirrels in my pants!)_

Nova:_ Got an Aunt Florence living in France_

_(She can't see the-)_

"Squirrels in my pants!"

_Step right over and watch me put it down..._

"Squirrels! Squirrels!"

_(S to the I to the M to the P)_

_Step right over and watch me put it..._

_(S to the I to the M to the P!)_

Nova:_ If you wanna know how I'm doin' this dance_

_(S-I-M-P, squirrels in my pants!)_

_There's somethin' in my trousers, you know it ain't ants!_

_(S-I-M-P, squirrels in my pants!)_

_Yeah... Proletariat and bourgeoisie!_

_(Baby you don't need an academic degree!)_

_Everybody's smellin' my potpourri!_

_(S to the I to the M to the P!)_

_Step right over and watch me put it down..._

_"_Squirrels! Squirrels!"

_(S to the I to the M to the P!)_

_Step right over and watch me put it..._

Both:_ Down, down, on the ground..._

_'Cause you know I got it goin' on!_

_(S...) S to the I to the M to the P!_

_(I...) S to the I to the M to the P!_

Nova:_ If your pockets are empty get a cash advance!_

_(M...) (S to the I to the M to the P!)_

"Squirrels! Squirrels!"

_(S to the I to the M to the P!)_

Nora:_ If you're losin' your hair, get yourself implants!_

_(S..) (S to the I to the M to the P!)_

_If you're wrestlin' a bear, then you ain't got a chance!_

_Background singer: (I...) (S to the I to the M to the P!)_

Nova:_ Old Uncle Freddy just rages and rants!_

_(M...) (S to the I to the M to the P!)_

Both:_ Ain't about love! Ain't about romance! I got squirrels in my pants! _

**End of BGM**

"AHHHHHHHH!". She finally passed out and the squirrels got out the way the went in.

"Wait, she actually had squirrels in her pants?" a random student said.

"Yeah. You just got served. Oh, and Nora?" Nova said.

"Yes?" she said.

"You're a terrible singer."

"What?! No, I was good!"

"Nah...". Everyone around also agreed.

"Oh, shut up!". Blake then woke up.

"Oh man, what happened?" she said.

"April Fool's!" Nova said.

"Huh?"

"You had squirrels in your pants and everyone here just saw you twerking." Yang said.

"What?! Who, me?!"

"Uh huh. All thanks to my little ginger friend." Nova said.

"You said it!" Nora said. Then they shaked hands, but Nova got hit by thousands of volts. She kept holding his hand and he was in the air being zapped, until his clothes disintegrated. Everyone around was seeing Nova's burned divine dick. Yang immediately covered Ruby's eyes and everyone else was trying not to look. "APRIL FOOL'S!". Then Nora started laughing.

"What just happened? Did I just got pranked?"

"You didn't expect that, didn't you?"

"But... how?"

"Yeah, we want to know as well." Weiss said.

"Oh silly kids." Nora said. She then pulled down a big planning board out of nowhere and put nerdy glasses. "Yesterday I saw the calendar and I saw that today would be April Fool's. Then I thought what prank should I do to my friends. But then I realised that I needed to do something big. Something that no one would do in a million years. And then it came to me. To prank the biggest prankster and I'm not talking about Yang, you're far from it, honey."

"Hey!" she said.

"Nova, as the meme lord he is, I suspected that April Fool's is his favourite day, and my theory was right. I knew that he would prank every one of us, leaving Blake for last because of her thicc booty that I wish I had."

"Wait, what was-" Blake said.

"It's Smart Nora time, don't interrupt. Anyway, the only thing I needed is a way to do the prank. I let myself as the bait to see what he would do to me. And, as if fate wanted me to succeed, it was a shock bomber, which I never expected to have that much high voltage. Then he asked me to help him, which I predicted because of my crazy, unpredictable nature. I asked him to give me his bomber, which was his mistake and my chance. I would shock him the moment he would let his defences down. But, then I thought, but he's strong as shit, how could I do it? Well, another mistake he did is that he didn't know my semblance, which we all know how it works. Before I pranked Blake, I already shocked myself like a hundred times, I wasn't counting, giving me enough power to not let him go. And the rest is history.". Everyone was shocked by her accurate explanation.

"You thought all of that yesterday?"

"Uh huh! The only way to beat someone unpredictable is to be more unpredictable and predict the unpredictable, which makes him predictable and it turns out that I'm the unpredictable, which was predictable, so that makes us predictable and unpredictable at the same time, which I didn't predict. Or did I?"

"I'm confused. She predicted that or not?" Ruby said. Nova was very impressed. So much that he applauded.

"Good. Very good. I never expected someone to beat me like that. You won." Nova said. He snapped his fingers and he was now clean and wearing clothes, like nothing happened.

"Now you must keep your promise, since I helped you."

"Okay.". He snapped his fingers again and a monkey, wearing butler clothes appeared.

"Yes! My monkey butler! I would like some pancakes, please.". The monkey quickly brought a table, a chair to sit and a big plate of pancakes.

"Is anyone else jealous?" Ruby said. Weiss raised her hand.

"You can buy one." Yang said.

"I know, but still." Weiss said.

"Can you pour some syrup, too?" Nora said. The monkey went to pour syrup on her pancakes, but it noticed that it wasn't coming down. The jug was empty. So it went on a rampage. He threw the table and attacked some of the students. Then it climbed a tree. Angrily took a beehive that was hanging and threw it. It landed on Nora's head. She started running around, screaming, while trying to get it off, while bees were stinging her face.

"APRIL FOOL'S, BAKA!" Nova said.

"What?!" the rest said.

"Since the bomber didn't work, I had to prank her again. The god of the pranks is back on top!"

**BGM: The slide whistle song - SpongeBob SquarePants**

"In fact, I'm so happy that I'll prank anyone!". He then went and pranked everyone in the academy, by throwing pies, pulling pants down and giving wedgies. He went to the city and did the same. He went to all the kingdoms, even Salem's place. When he ripped off her clothes, he saw her hot, but pale, full of black veins body and put them back, feeling disgusted. He went to space, holding a tnt box. He pushed the lever and BOOM! The entire land of the planet exploded and got a new shape, saying APRIL FOOL'S. "Happy April Fool's everyone! See you in the next chapter! WOO HOO WOO HOO WOO HOO WOO HOO WOO HOO WOO HOO!"

* * *

**And done! That was a fun chapter. Like, follow, review, sent a PM and read the Nova Force. See you soon!**


	65. DevilArtemis compilation

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 62: DevilArtemis compilation**

"Wait, which one will you play?" Jaune said.

"I'll probably play my personal favourites." Nova said.

"Before you play anything, tell me. How random is it?" Weiss said.

"Kermit the frog is in every video."

"... Play it. Just... play it. Let's get over with it."

**Cell vs All For One part 4**

**[Intro]**

**(Cell and Kermit were relaxing near a waterfall, when suddenly they sense something wrong.)**

"Oh, SFM." Ruby said.

**Cell: Something's wrong, Kermit.**

**All For One: So we meet again, Perfect Cell.**

"What?! All For One?! What is he doing here?"

"He's the villain." Nova said.

"But isn't Cell a bad guy?" Yang said.

"Not in the DevilArtemis universe." Jaune said.

**Kermit: All For One! You persistent bastard!**

**All For One: I have returned and this time I am sure that my evil plans will go through without fail.**

**Kermit: Do I have to beat the shit out of you again?**

"Again? But... he's a Muppet." Pyrrha said.

**All For One: That will not be necessary, Kermit. You'll be far too busy crying before you can even lift a finger.**

"Wait, who's that dead guy in the river?" Blake said.

"It's Shallot. A Saiyan from a mobile game." Nova said.

"Why is he dead?" Ruby said.

"Because... he's kind of a joke here."

"That sucks. I bet he's a interesting character."

**Cell: What have you done this time, All For One?**

**All For One: This time Perfect Cell, I have thought of an even more, devastating, unforgivable plan! I, All For One, will set off everyone's alarm clock five minutes early. And every time that you go to snooze it, it gets louder.**

"That is-"

"Pure evil!" Nora interrupted Weiss.

"No! It's dumb!"

"Come on, would you like it if that happened?" Yang said.

"I... well... of course not. It would get annoying- oh my god, it is evil."

"That's a special kind of evil." Pyrrha said.

**Cell: You sick bastard!**

**Kermit: I won't let you get away with that, All For One! We can just shut off our mobile devices and shatter your evil plan.**

"Nice solution. But what about alarm clocks?" Ren said.

"Who uses alarm clocks?" Yang said.

"A lot of people." Weiss said.

**All For One: Not before I shatter your heart, Kermit. You see, this conversation is just a distraction, while my **_**real **_**evil plan is taking place as we speak.**

"What could be worse?" Ruby said.

**Cell: No... what have you done?!**

**All For One: I, All For One, have canceled MCU Spider-Man's contract... with Marvel.**

**Kermit: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

Some laughed with that.

"It wasn't his plan, but Kermit's scream that was funny. But that is very bad." Jaune said.

**Kermit: You have no idea what you've just done!**

**All For One: I mean I'm pretty happy with the results. I might even pour myself a bowl of milk and cereal as a reward.**

"Please not in that order. Please not in that order." Ruby said.

**Kermit: Oh that sounds pretty good.**

**All For One: In that order.**

"Oh come on!"

"Who eats cereal like that?!" Jaune said.

"Is it different?" Blake said.

"Oh my god, do you live under a rock?! First is the cereal and then the milk! If you pour the milk first, then it's just weird." Yang said.

"Well I'm sorry for not knowing that because I always had only a glass of milk for breakfast as a kid!"

**Kermit: NOOOOOOO! Who the hell pours milk before the cereal?! NOOOOOOO-**

"Okay, that was actually funnier than SMG4." Weiss said.

"Glad you like it. Next one." Nova said.

**Cell vs Emo Kermit (Universe 6)**

**[Intro]**

**(Cell was at his arean, wondering where is Kermit.)**

**Cell: Kermit!(sees Kermit?) What in God's name?**

"What's with the hair?" Yang said.

"Are those net sleeves?" Blake said.

**Kermit(?): Actually, I'm atheist. Religious concepts were created by man so please respect my beliefs. It's not like anyone else does.**

"That's very sad." Weiss said.

"Why is Kermit- is he even Kermit?" Ruby said.

"That's you if you acted like you dress." Nova said.

"Oh yeah, like when you said that poem." Yang said.

**Cell: Ooookay, so you're not Kermit. Who are you?**

**Kermit: What the f*** is going on here?**

Some of them laughed.

"I never expected Kermit to curse!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**Cell: Whoa! Kermit? There are two of you?**

**Kermit U6: Actually I'm Kermit from Universe 6.**

**Kermit: So you're me but... you're emotionally damaged. And listen to death metal.**

**Cell: So he's handicapped.**

"What?!" Weiss said.

**Kermit: I guess.**

"You can't say that just because he's depressed!"

**Kermit U6: I also enjoy long cries on the beach. Preferably in the dark.**

"Oh my god, I hate it." Yang said while laughing a little.

**Cell: Yeah... I think you need to go.**

**Kermit U6: My parents said the same thing at the age of 3. That's when I bought my first eyeliner, you know.**

"Stop, it's so stupid!" Blake said while laughing.

"Wait, now I noticed it! He has a lip piercing!" Yang said.

**Kermit: Dude, we were made in a factory!**

**Kermit U6: My emotions are a factory. A factory of PAIN!**

"Stop it!" Blake said while laughing.

**Cell: OH MY GOD, JUST BLAST THE LINKIN PARK MUSIC ALREADY!**

**(Numb by Linkin Park is playing)**

**Kermit U6: **_**Can't you see that you're smothering me**_

_**Holding to tightly, afraid to lose control**_

_**Cause everything that you thought I would be**_

_**Has fallen apart right in front of youuuuuuuur!**_

Everyone was laughing.

"No, I like that song!"

"Next video." Nova said.

**Cell vs Seto Kaiba part 2**

**(Raid Shadow Legends ad)**

"Why is this game everywhere?" Yang said.

"It looks cool." Ruby said.

"I'm not into RPG's."

**(Intro)**

**(Cell and Kaiba are on the duel arena)**

**Kaiba: As you can see Cell, this time we've upgraded to a grander stage.**

**Cell: What do you want, Kababa?**

**Kaiba: My name is Seto Kaiba and I want a rematch! Dancing Ricardo was a cheap trick in our last duel. This time, I want you to take this children's card game seriously!**

"When you say it like that, no one takes you seriously." Weiss said.

"Wait, Ricardo?" Yang said.

**Cell: I am not taking this children's card game serious!**

**Kaiba: DO IT PUSSY!**

"Nice." Yang said.

**Cell: Just draw your damn card!**

**Kaiba: I draw! I summon the Deadly Snowman!**

"Aww, it's adorable." Ruby said.

"How can that be deadly?" Blake said.

**Cell: The Deadly Snowman? He looks adorable! (It pulls out a gun) OH SHIT, HE'S PACKING HEAT!**

"Why do I even bother asking?"

**Cell: All right, fine. My turn. I summon Ronald McDonald!**

**Ronald: **_**Pa ra pa pa pa, diabetes!**_

"I don't like McDonalds." Nova said.

"Why not?" Ruby said.

"It's not that good."

**Cell: Ronald, attack his Deadly Snowman!**

**(Ronald throws a burger, blowing up the snowman)**

"Diabetes is a dangerous weapon." Nora said.

"What am I watching?" Weiss said.

**Kaiba: You might have destroyed my Deadly Snowman, but once destroyed he allows me to special summon three Snowboy monster cards from my deck! And now that it's my turn, I tribute all three of my Snowboys, to bring forth, Obelisk the tormentor!**

"Okay, that's a cool monster!" Ruby said.

**Cell: Holy mother of God!**

**Kaiba: Obelisk, destroy his Ronald McDonald!**

**(Obelisk destroys the creepy clown)**

**Kaiba: Your clown is toast, Cell. Next time I attack I'll win.**

**Cell: Then I guess I have no choice, Kababa. I play the spell card: Dark Magic Curtain! I pay half of my remaining life points to special summon my best monster, the Dark Magician!**

"What meme will be now?" Yang said.

**Dark Magician: EBOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**

"What?!" Ruby said.

"That meme is dead!" Nora said.

**Kaiba: What?! Wait a minute, that's not the Dark Magician!**

**Ugandan Magician: It is true, my bruddas! I am now de Dark Magician!**

**Kaiba: That is not the Dark Magician!**

**Ugandan Magician: I am de Dark Magician, my bruddas!**

They couldn't help it but laugh.

**Kaiba: Godamnit, no this is not happening, I told you to take this seriously!**

**Cell: Oh this is happening, Kaiba! Dark Magician, use Dark Ebola Attack!**

**Ugandan Magician: EBOLAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**

"I feel that everything that we learned from the space video, we're losing double from it now." Yang said.

"Next video." Nova said.

**Cell vs Midoriya (Deku) part 2**

**[Intro] **

**Deku: (thinking) He survived?! He survived my Plus Ultra?! How is this possible?!**

"Yay, it's Deku!" Ruby said.

"You really love My Hero Academia." Nova said.

"Yep!"

**Cell: (pain) OHH... Kermit! Oh hoh...**

"Oh my, he got Plus Ultra'd in the dick!" Yang said while laughing.

**Kermit: Yo!**

**Cell: I can't... I can't feel mah meat!**

**Kermit: Yeah. Yeah, you just got Plus Ultra'd in the dick.**

**Cell: What do I do?!**

**Kermit: Cell, you literally have the DNA of every fighter on this planet. You ever wondered why you have a stand?**

"He has a stand?! I want to see it!"

"On JoJo Friday." Nova said.

"Aw man."

**Kermit: You know, abilities from other anime characters?**

**Cell: Because DevilArtemis does drugs before he scripts his videos?**

"The most accurate explanation." Blake said.

**Kermit: No, Cell. You are the perfect being.**

"I still think that Kars is the ultimate being." Yang said.

**Cell: You're damn right!**

**Kermit: So get up and give this little shit a taste of his own medicine.**

**Cell: That's genius, Kermit!**

"Wait, is he?" Pyrrha said.

"Yes. Plus Ultra." Jaune said.

**Cell: Alright kid. End of the road! Now it's my turn.**

**Deku: (thinking) Wait what?!**

"Deku, no!" Ruby said.

**Cell: GO BEYOND! PLUS ULTRAAAAAA! (Plus ultra bitchslap) Biatch.**

Everyone laughed.

"He slapped him! He actually slapped him!" Blake said while laughing.

"The ultimate bitchslap!" Nora said.

"What was that angle?" Weiss said.

"Next video." Nova said.

**Cell vs Kale and Caulifla**

**[Intro]**

**Caulifla: I think this is the place.**

**Kale: Are... you sure this is it?**

**Caulifla: It looks like it.**

**Cell: Ladies, ladies! Welcome, welcome to my arena! Perfect Cell, biological android. **_**Single**_**, biological android. How can I help you?**

"Is he hitting on them?" Ruby said.

"Obviously." Weiss said.

**Caulifla: That's close enough, pal. You know why I'm here.**

**Cell: I do?**

**Caulifla: And quit undressing Kale with your eyes.**

**Kale: Wait, undressing me with his eyes? W-what?! Why... why are we here?**

"Her voice is so annoying and whiny." Blake said.

**Caulifla: You and me, right here in the middle of this arena!**

"What?!" everyone said.

"She just got here!" Yang said.

**Cell: Wait what?!**

"Even Cell finds this very fast." Weiss said.

**Kale: W-WHAT?!**

**Cell: Are you sure?! Jesus Christ, lady, I just met you!**

**Kale: B-b-but sis!**

**Caulifla: You show me yours and I'll show you mine.**

"Is she serious?" Blake said.

"Every time Yang starts a fight." Ruby said.

"RUBY!" she said, while everyone else was laughing. "I can't believe you would say that for your lovable, innocent sister!". She then pulled Ruby in a spine-breaking hug. " You learn so much from me! My baby sister is growing up like me!"

"Yang stop... I can't breathe..." Ruby said while being squeezed, making a squeaky sound.

**Cell: Oh my god, is it getting hot in here? It's really getting hot in here!**

**Caulifla: Show me that power, damnit! It's the only way I can break my limits!**

"Okay, phew. She really meant fighting." Pyrrha said.

**Cell: Limits? Oh! Oh, thank god. You mean fighting.(laughs) For a second I thought you were talking about my dick.**

**Caulifla: I was.(turns Super Saiyan)**

"What?!" Weiss said.

"Oh no." Ruby said.

**Cell: Wait what-(she jumps at him)**

**Kale: N-n-no! I... I won't let go in this alone! (she jumps in too)**

"Come on! Her too?! This is stupid." Weiss said.

_**Two hours later**_

**Cabba: Hey guys, I'm here for the tournament-JESUS CHRIST! IT'S EVERYWHERE!**

Everyone laughed.

"That last one was good." Jaune said.

"Next video." Nova said.

**Cell vs Super Kermit**

**[Intro]**

**Cell: What's wrong, Kermit?**

**Kermit: It's Shallot. He's mad at me.**

**Cell: Why?**

**Kermit: I beat him in Xenoverse, cause he's trash. And now he won't talk to me.**

"I still don't understand why are friendships ruined by videogames?" Pyrrha said.

"Frustration. It happens to most of us." Yang said.

"A lot." Ruby said.

**Cell: Just speak to him, Kermit.**

**Kermit: I tried Cell, but nothing's working. Doesn't matter what I say.**

**Cell: Don't speak to him with your words, Kermit. Speak to him... with your heart.**

**(In the next scene, Kermit is having a big boombox to speak to Shallot)**

"That's not an apology, that's a confession." Blake said.

"That's how bros apologize." Nova said.

"Boys are weird." Ruby said.

"You change your emotions every minute!"

"You got us." Yang said.

_**(Now playing Baby come back by Player)**_

**Kermit: **_**I spend all my nights, all my money going out on the town**_

_**Doing anything just to get you off of my mind**_

_**But when the morning comes I'm right back where started again**_

_**Trying to forget you is just waste of tiiiiiiiiime!**_

_**Shallot come back!**_

_**Any kind of frog could see**_

_**There was something in anything about you!**_

"He likes it!" Yang said while laughing.

_**Shallot come back! (Yeah)**_

_**You can blame it all on me**_

"I have the same reaction as Cell right now." Weiss said.

_**I was wrong, and I just can't live without you!**_

**Cell: GAYYYYY!**

"Next video."

**Cell vs Android 21 part 2**

**(ROW ad)**

**In the criminal justice system, sexually based offences are considered especially heinous. In West City the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Saiyans Unit. These are their stories.**

_**SUPREME KERMIT'S COURT ROOM 12:00PM**_

"That's new." Ruby said.

"I really want to see how it goes." Yang said.

**Kermit: Alright, let's get on with this court case! How do you plead, Cell?**

**Cell: I didn't do shit!**

**Kermit: State your case!**

**Gohan: He's full of shit and he assaulted my client!**

"Gohan's the lawyer?" Blake said.

"Well, it's fitting. Cell vs Gohan." Jaune said.

"And the victim is Android 21. Gohan lost." Yang said.

"Why do you say that?" Pyrrha said.

"Look at her! Does she look innocent?"

"You have a point there." Blake said.

**Cell: Look, I swear on my mother, she said she was 21 and BESIDES, IT WAS CONSENSUAL!**

**Gohan: OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR! HE HAS NO MOTHER!**

**Cell: THAT'S IRRELEVANT! I'M INNOCENT, GODAMNIT!**

Everyone was laughing.

"He has no mother, says the guy with two fathers." Yang said.

**Cell: My client was assaulted by this man and he should be sent to life in prison!**

"That's too much for inconsesual sex, don't you think?"

**21: It's true your honor. That Cell is **_**a naughty boy **_**and should be **_**punished. Mmm, hm hm~.**_

"Yeah, Cell is very innocent." Jaune said.

"Am I the only one with an erection? No?" Nova said.

**Cell: You see?! Does an underage woman speak that way?!**

**Kermit: I do have an erection. I see your point, Cell.**

"That still says nothing." Pyrrha said.

**Gohan: Do you even know respect, Cell? As someone's daughter, how do you think her father would feel?**

**Cell: Why do you care? Your dad doesn't even love you!**

Some of them laughed. "That's not funny!"

**Gohan: Your honor, it's obvious he's attacking me personally now.**

"Gohan, don't be such a bitch." Yang said.

**21: It's okay, Gohan. I know what it's like to be taken advantage of.**

**Kermit: Let's say you, Cell against these accusations.**

**Cell: I call upon my witness. Cermit the Frog!**

**Gohan: Guh... what?!**

"But he's the judge!" Weiss said.

**Cell: With a C.**

_**TO BE CONTINUED...**_

"With a C? Who's that?" Ruby said.

"Yes! It's Kaggy!" Jaune said.

"Kaggy? Really?" Yang said.

"Yeah! He's done it before."

"Let's the last one now." Nova said.

**Cell vs Android 21 part 3**

**In the criminal justice system, sexually based offences are considered especially heinous. In West City the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Saiyans Unit. These are their stories.**

_**SUPREME KERMIT'S COURT ROOM 12:05PM**_

**Kermit: Alright! Cell calls upon his witness, Cermit with a C! Now, do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?**

**Cermit: F*ck you!**

Everyone laughed.

"I knew that he would do it, but it was still funny." Yang said.

"Why does he have an evil moustache?" Nora said.

"Because it's the evil brother." Nova said.

**Kermit: You heard him, folks. Go ahead, question the witness.**

**Cell: Cermit with a C, did you or did you not see me have sexual relations with Android 21?**

**Cermit: Yes. He was in fact balls deep, your honor.**

"So they had sex." Blake said.

"That's not the point." Nova said.

**Gohan: You see, your honor? Cell even admits to assaulting my client!**

**Cell: Now hold on! F*cking dick. Cermit with a C, could you please tell the court who initiated the situation?**

**Cermit: Well, as I was preparing the lotion from behind the safety of my tree, it was 21 that I saw leap on to Cell first.**

Everyone laughed again. "What was he doing there?" Ruby said.

"What people do when they watch porn?" Nova said.

"Oh..."

"Dude, why would you say that in front of her?!" Yang said.

"She's 15!" Nova said.

**Cell: AHA! Therefore, my ass is innocent! She started this and she's a THOT!**

"Basically." Yang said.

**21: Hey, that's not very nice! I'm a respected individual of the Dragon Ball community.**

**Cell: Objection, your honor. B*tches be lying.**

**Gohan: Yeah, I second that one, your honor.**

Everyone laughed again.

"Why not?" Pyrrha said.

"From the moment she started eating the villains like cupcakes, I didn't like her." Yang said.

"She even ate a remote. Sexually!" Ruby said.

"I hate vore."

**Kermit: Alright! Let's be honest. How many people, within this court room, has slept with Android 21, raise your hand?**

**(Cermit, Cell, Kermit, even Gohan raises his arm.)**

"So everyone. That doesn't surprise me." Blake said.

**21: Well, I guess the cat is out of the bag now.**

**Kermit: A ha. Alright, Zarbon. What say the jury?"**

"Oh yeah, where was Zarbon?" Jaune said.

**Zarbon: Your honor, the ladies and gentlemen of the jury find R. Kelly guitly **_***quick moan***_**.**

Some of them laughed.

"That was so gay!" Yang said while laughing.

**Kermit: What? Wrong trial, Zarbon.**

**Zarbon: Oh. Right right right. Cell is innocent.**

**Cell: YEEEEEES! (Jumps in happiness)**

_**(Plays Don't you (forget about me) by Simple Minds, cover by Cell)**_

**Perfect Cell eventually had all the charges dropped. He continued to encounter weirdos in his arena...**

**After Gohan lost the case he retired as a lawyer. He now is married with a wife who won't give him any action...**

"At least he's married." Pyrrha said.

"But Videl is too lame now. When he first met her, she was like-"

"A tsundere version of you?" Nova interrupted Yang.

"I was going to say me if I had Weiss' attitude."

"What?!" Weiss said.

"Same thing." Nova said.

"Hey!"

**21 continued her legendary ways of being a thot.**

"The legendary thot!" Nora said**.**

**She slept with 234 men an hour after the trial...**

"How?" Blake said, holding her laughter.

**Kermit the Frog was one of those men...**

"Of course he was." Weiss said.

**He obtained crabs and retired as a judge.**

"Noooo!" Pyrrha said, while laughing.

**Cermit with a C continued to plot Kermit's death. But eventually gave up after he found love and stole Kaggy's girlfriend...**

Nova and Jaune couldn't stop laughing.

**Zarbon was still gay.**

Everyone was laughing.

"Nice to know." Yang said.

"Okay, I think it's time for me to leave now. See you later kids."

"Bye." everyone said and he left.

"Okay, we have the rest of the day to us. What now?" Yang said.

"I would do some TikTok videos. Do you want to do a video with me?" Ruby said.

"Sure, why not?"

**And done! Like, follow, review, sent a PM if you want and watch the Nova Force. Please. See you soon!**


	66. Nova Force EP3

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes. Befire you read this, go to my Wattpad (Novadova11) or DeviantArt (Nova9k) page to read this episode and more.**

**Chapter 63:**** Nova Force EP3**

It was a quiet Sunday night. Team RWBY were in their dorm, doing stuff, I guess. Ruby and Yang were playing Mario Kart 8 Deluxe online, Weiss and Blake were waiting for their turn. Ruby was winning by an inch. "You got stronger, young one, but victory is mine." Yang said.

"Not this time! Speed is my element! I have the high ground!" Ruby said. They were close to the finish line.

"No!"

"Yes!". But Ruby got hit by a blue shell. "WHAT?! NO! NOOOOO!". Yang got hit too because she was close.

"OH COME ON!". The Japanese player who threw it won.

"GODAMN, MOTHERFUCKING GAME! I HATE IT! FUCKING BLUE SHELL! FUCKING CUNT! FUCKING CHIN CHIN-SUCKING BITCH!". The rest were shocked by Ruby's outburst. Weiss even fainted. Ruby then hugged Yang and cried in her tits. "(muffled) Whyyyy?! Why is this happening?!"

"I don't know..." Yang said, trying to comfort her. "Now stop, you're ruining my PJs."

"Okay... *sniff*. Sorry...". Blake managed to wake up Weiss.

"Did this... really happen?" Weiss said.

"It did..." Blake said. Then Nova appeared, surprising them.

"Hey girls! What happened?" Nova said.

"Ruby lost in Mario Kart by a Japanese player and got mad."

"Ooooh... it happens."

"Why are you so giddy?" Yang said.

"I sent to Fiona and the rest anime catgirl compilations. I'm imagining their reaction."

* * *

_MEANWHILE_

Team FRAL were caught off guard by it.

**Any anime catgirl: Nyaa~**

The only thing they could say was: "Bruh."

* * *

Anyway, who's ready for pizza night?"

"We!" the girls said.

"Cool! Call the others!"

* * *

Team JNPR sat down and were ready to watch shit again. And Nora for some reason brought a puppet. "Why do you-"

"It was on her list. A puppeteer." Ren interrupted Nova.

"Jenny, say hi to Nova! _What up, bitch?_ Stop insulting my friends everytime! _No._" Nora said.

"It's better than scientist though." Pyrrha said.

"I was the lab rat. It was painful." Jaune said, almost ready to cry. Pyrrha hugged him to comfort him.

"Easy, easy... It's all over now..."

"Anyway, what toppings do you want?" Nova said.

"With a lot of cheese." Ruby said.

"With a lot of vegetables." Weiss said.

"Anchovies." Blake said.

"Meat lovers." Yang said.

"Bacon and ham." Jaune said.

"Me too meat lovers." Nora said.

"Pineapple." Pyrrha said. Everyone was looking weird at her. Jaune was shaking his head in disappointment. Blake was ready to bang her head on a wall until she passes out.

"_What the fuck is wrong with you?_" Nora said through her puppet. "Jenny, don't talk like that! _Who does that?!_ You're very mean!_ So? Fuck you!_ Oh that's it, you little shit!". She took it off her hand and threw it out the window.

"Okay, that happened." Nova said.

"I want vegetables too." Ren said.

"Good.". Nova took his phone and called his favourite place. (Italian readers, if this is wrong, you're free to burn me alive in front of the Vatican. Send me the correct order.) "Ehilà Marcello! Come stai? Come state in famiglia? Bene. Vorrei 9 pizze. Una ai quattro formaggi, due alle verdure miste, una romana,... they don't have meat lovers, do you want ham, bacon or pork?"

"I guess ham and bacon too." Yang said.

"I want pork!" Nora said.

"Tre con prosciutto e pancetta, una con la porchetta, e una con... ananas. No, non fa per me. No, non è mentalmente disabile." Nova said.

"What did he say?" Ruby said.

"I think he called someone mentally disabled." Ren said.

"But who?" Jaune said. Then they thought, the one who picked pineapple. They all turned to look at Pyrrha.

"Is it that bad?!" Pyrrha said.

"Sarebbe da pazzi. Quando saranno pronte? Va bene. Ci vediamo.". Nova ended the call. "Okay, it will take some time. Now let's start with the Nova Force. And yes. It is bad."

"You know what? I don't care what you say, I like pineaplle pizza. Now start the episode."

**Stamatis, now that he recruited the warrior of lightning, continued his search for the rest of the and Ellen were on a plane to Japan. Ellen was checking her Instangram while Stamatis was checking his black eye. **

"Why does he have a black eye?" Ruby said.

**How did he got a black eye? Well, it all started early in the morning.**

_**FLASHBACK**_

**Ellen has just woken up. She found Stamatis already awake.**

**"Good morning." he said.**

**"Good morning. Can you make me coffee?" she said.**

**"I was making you one right now. Here you go."**

**"Thanks.". She was about to take a sip, but then she smelt something bad. The mug had a bad smell. 'What is that smell? Why does it...?'. "Stamatis?"**

**"What is it?"**

**"Can you give me your hand for a minute?"**

**"My... hand?". 'Γαμώτο... did she found out?'.**

"What did he do?"

"I might have an idea." Jaune said.

**"Yes."**

**"Okay...". She took his hand and smelt it. Her suspicions were correct. **

**"Stamatis... when you woke up... you masturbated, am I right?" she said with a dark tone.**

"What?!" everyone said.

"I knew it!" Jaune said.

"He didn't wash his hands?! That's gross!" Weiss said.

**'ΣΚΑΤΑ!'**

**"AND YOU DIDN'T WASH YOUR HANDS?!". Then she punched him in the face.**

_**END OF FLASHBACK**_

Everyone started laughing.

"I would kick him in the balls for doing that." Yang said.

"Actually, most of us would do." Blake said.

**"Can I ask you something?" Ellen said.**

**"What is it?" Stamatis said.**

**"What kind of enemies will we be fighting?"**

**"Mostly demons. And possibly aliens."**

**"Really? What are we? Overpowered Power Rangers?"**

**"Kinda."**

**"That's cool."**

**"I know. Anyway, have you thought about it? Revealing your identity?"**

**"I'm not so sure yet. I don't think it's the right time."**

**"It's your choice. I'm just saying it because we won't wear masks. I want people to know who we are."**

"But what if the villains try to hurt their relatives or something?" Ruby said.

"I think it's a risk that he's willing to take." Blake said.

**"I understand... so, who are we looking for?"**

**"The counselor didn't tell me much about her.". The scene changes to a forest in Japan. A woman with wavy black hair was doing her martial arts training. "He told me that three years ago, she saved two kids, by preventing a building to collapse on them because of an earthquake. Her powers must have awaken that day. And since then, she's been a local hero."**

**"Oh, I heard about her. Some people said that she had super powers. She's known as the 'Girl Wonder'."**

**"Exactly. And her name...". The scene ends with the girl destroying a giant rock with one punch, showing her purple eyes. "... is Shizuna Furusawa, the warrior of fire."**

"That was a very cool shot!" Yang said.

_**[Intro plays]**_

_**The Girl Wonder, the Warrior of Fire**_

**"This is it. We are in Japan." Stamatis said. They were currently at the airport of Tokyo. **

"What happened to his black eye?" Nora said.

**"Hey, why isn't your eye black anymore?" Ellen said.**

**"Cartoon logic. You know, when we get famous, I bet all the lolis here will go crazy."**

"Did he say cartoon logic?" Weiss said.

"It's one of those shows." Yang said.

"I hope that it's better than Teen Titans GO." Jaune said.

**"Well, I'm already famous. And I have a lot of fans, even here. I go on Instagram and look at all the fanart they do." Ellen said.**

**"And the NSFW too?"**

"He doesn't learn, huh?" Yang said.

**"Dude!"**

**"What? You know about rule 34. If it exists, there's porn of it.". At this point, Ellen's face was red as a tomato.**

**"I know, but-!"**

**"C'mon, don't tell me that you haven't seen any of it. I mean, if they made porn of all of us, I would watch it. It would probably be me with each of you. Or all of you. Or lesbian stuff."**

"Shut up, already!" Weiss said.

"Yeah, but it's true." Jaune said.

**"Can we change the subject now?! Please?! Like how are we going to find her?"**

**"Well, we... oh wait, we don't know japanese."**

**"So we came to this country and we don't have any way to communicate with people?"**

**"...Oops."**

"Oh my god, he's like Ruby." Weiss said.

"Hey! I got better!" Ruby said.

"I meant the first days."

**"*sigh* This is going to take a while."**

**"Don't worry. I have a plan."**

**Meanwhile in the city, a woman was going back home after her morning training. That woman was Shizuna. As she was walking, she saw three guys harassing a woman in an alleyway. They were about to strip her, until Shizuna got their attention. "Hey! What are you doing there?" she said.**

"Okay, that got serious really fast." Pyrrha said.

"Are they stupid? In broad daylight?" Blake said.

**"Oi, get out of here or else we will strip you down too! And seeing you with those tights, I can't wait!" one of them said, making her angry.**

"And another booty shot. Great."

**"Wait! That's... Furusawa Shizuna! The Girl Wonder!" another one said.**

**"Really? Mmmm... goood."**

**"****やれやれ****... you guys disgust me. You have 3 seconds to leave before I beat the crap out of you. 1... 2..." Shizuna said.**

"Cool threat and a JoJo reference? She's already my favourite." Yang said.

"Just because she said yare yare, doesn't make it a JoJo reference." Ren said.

**"You damn bitch! Who do you think you are?!" he said running to attack her with a knife. Her eyes then turned from blue to purple. She simply bitch slapped him, crashing to a wall, knocking him out. The other two got scared and fleed.**

"Only a slap!" Yang said.

"Is he dead?" Ruby said.

"Don't know. Also, who cares?" Nova said.

**"Hey, are you okay?" she said to the woman and she nodded.**

**"Thank you." the woman said.**

**"Happy to help.". After that, Shizuna went home. After taking a bath, she went to her workplace. It was filled with various sketches. Her biggest dream was to become a manga artist, but she wanted to do something original. "Alright, time for work."**

"She's an artist? That's nice." Blake said.

"Her dream is to become a manga artist." Nova said.

"Wait... I think she wanted to look cool." Jaune said.

"What do you mean?" Pyrrha said.

"Like the others, she's just a geek. She just wanted to show off."

"Makes sense." Ruby said.

**Back to Stamatis and Ellen, they reached the city centre. "Okay, how are we going to find her?" Ellen said.**

**"Just watch." Stamatis said. "HEY!"**

**"What are you doing?!"**

**"WE ARE FOREIGNERS! IS THERE ANYONE THAT SPEAKS ENGLISH!? WE NEED HELP! WHOEVER KNOWS ENGLISH RAISE YOUR HAND!"**

"That's probably the best plan in occasions like that." Yang said.

**"Stop, this isn't going to work!"**

**"I know English!" someone said, raising his hand.**

**"It worked?"**

"Someone would answer." Blake said.

**"Great! We need some help!" Stamatis said.**

**"Sure. What can I do for you?" he said.**

**"You see, we want to look for a name in the Yellow Pages, but we don't know Japanese. Can you help us find the name?"**

**"Of course. What's the name?"**

**"Shizuna Furusawa."**

**"Shizuna Furusawa?"**

**"Yeah, why?"**

**"She's my friend! We know each other since high school."**

"How convenient." Weiss said.

**"Great! Can you take us to her place? We have some business with her."**

**"Sure."**

**"Wow, your accent is very good." Ellen said.**

**"Me and Shizuna have been learning English for years."**

**"At least your accent is better than mine. Now let's go." Stamatis said.**

"That's for sure."

"Nah, his accent is okay." Ruby said.

**Back at Shizuna's house, she was trying to think of something original. "C'mon, think of something!" she said. "I need something new! Stories about aliens, giant robots, monsters, wizards, slice of life, singing, romance, demons, massacre, cars and toys already exist and they're getting ripped off! What could possibly be original while everything else exist? Hmmm... maybe I should take it from another perspective. I was thinking something for the average Japanese reader. Maybe I should think what the rest of the world wants."**

"At this point, it doesn't matter if something is ripping-off something. If people like it, they won't complain." Jaune said.

**Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the doorbell. "Who is it?". She opens the door and sees three people. "Oh, Takeshi-san."**

**"Hey Shizuna-san." Takeshi said.**

**"How is it going? Who are they?"**

**"Oh, these are Stamatis and Ellen. They want to talk to you."**

**"About what?"**

**"Shizuna... do you believe in God?" Stamatis said.**

**"...Huh?"**

**"Nice way to start the coversation, leader." Ellen said sarcastically.**

This made them laugh a little. "Who starts a conversation like that?" Yang said.

**After Takeshi left, Stamatis, Ellen and Shizuna started talking. "So, why did you come to Japan?"**

**"Well you see, I'm Stamatis and this is Ellen. We are here to put you in our team."**

**"What kind of team?"**

**"A team of super heroes. We are the Nova Force!" Ellen said.**

**"The Nova Force?" Stamatis said.**

**"What? I like the name."**

"It does sound nice." Ruby said.

**"Wait... super heroes?" Shizuna said.**

**"Shizuna, your powers are like ours. You had them since the day you were born, like us. It's your destiny."**

**"So you two have powers? I don't believe it."**

**"Oh, really? Ellen, show her."**

**"Why me?"**

**"Because I want to see her reaction."**

**"Fine.". Ellen gets up and quickly transforms. Her hair turned blue and her eyes green. Shizuna couldn't believe what she was seeing.**

**"(excited gasp)The Speed Demon?! OMG, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THE SPEED DEMON IS IN MY HOUSE!"**

"Ow. That was loud." Blake said.

**"Wow, I wasn't expecting that."**

**"I did. Do you believe us now?" Stamatis said.**

**"I do! Oh boy, a real super hero is in front of me! I made so many artwork of you! Take a look!"**

"These are really good!" Ruby said.

**"Oh my god, these are good! You are very talented!" Ellen said.**

**"You draw lewds too?" Stamatis said.**

**"Dude!"**

"C'mon! Think before you speak!" Weiss said.

**"What?"**

**"No, I don't draw hentai, I don't like stuff like that." Shizuna said.**

**"Is that a Vegeta body pillow over there?"**

**"****何****?!". She panicked and quickly hid it in her closet. "What body pillow? I have no idea what you're talking about, hehe.". They were looking at her with disbelief.**

"And she's a pervert too."

"Freaking Vegeta." Yang said, holding her laughter.

**"Riiiiight. Anyway, back to our issue. Ellen is the warrior of lightning, I am the warrior of light and you are the warrior of fire. Our job is to protect the world, no, the universe from evil."**

**"Wow, that's amazing! The entire universe? And what kind of creatures we'll be fighting?"**

**"Mostly demons and aliens."**

**"Demons? So we're kinda like the Precures."**

**"...The what?"**

**"You know, those girls with colourful hair that fight demons."**

**"Oh. Well, that shit is too girly so we're sticking with Power Rangers."**

**"But-"**

**"Ellen, do you have any objections?"**

**"I had but the Power Rangers are cooler, so no." Ellen said.**

"Yeah, they don't sound cool enough. And I'm the cute one!" Ruby said.

**'****愚かな外人****' Shizuna thought.(I don't know if it's right, I'm using a translator.) "Anyway, you want me to be in your team."**

**"Exactly." Stamatis said.**

**"Okay. I'm in."**

**"That easily?"**

**"Who wouldn't want to be a super hero? Living the life that many manga characters live? Of course I want to be! Also it would also give an original idea for a new series."**

"But she said that she wanted something original! This is nothing but original!" Weiss said.

**"I don't think that it would be that original. It would basically be a rip-off of the Pride Troopers, with the science of Rick and Morty, multicultural like JoJo and with Family Guy type of conversations. With a hint of dank memes and cartoon logic."**

"But that combination is not." Nora said.

**"That sounds kinda silly, but it also makes me want to read it." Ellen said.**

**"It's good! A series with modern American humor! No one would do it because we are so enclosed! Except for the guys that made Pop Team Epic. It's risky but it's good." Shizuna said.**

**"Great! Now let's go to the airport again and return to New York." Stamatis said.**

**"New York?! I always wanted to go there!"**

**"Well, your wish is coming true." Ellen said.**

**"Let's go!" Stamatis said.**

**While this conversation was happening, somewhere in Hell, three demon sisters were discussing their plans, while spying on the heroes on a giant TV. **

"So these are the big villains?" Ruby said.

"Yes, Pristia, Rhelnila and Aezielle. And that's where the edge of the show starts." Nova said.

**The youngest was Aezielle and she had pink hair. The second, who had purple hair was Rhelnila. The oldest, who had silver hair was Pristia. They all had horns pail skin, red eyes and seductive outfits. "Damnit! They already became three! When they find the fourth member, we won't stand a chance! And that coward Lucifer doesn't do anything about it!" Rhelnila said.**

**"Calm down sister. You don't need to worry about them. The only thing we need is some negative energy. If we cause enough chaos, we will have enough power for our plan." Pristia said.**

"You know? Her... character... reminds me of that new exchange student, Cinder... what was it again? Bawl? Lol? Stall? Autumn?" Ruby said.

"Fall?" Weiss said.

"Yes, that's it!"

"Cinder Fall... she sounds evil." Nova said.

"Why do say that?" Blake said.

"Just by the name. Cinder. She sounds like she's ready to burn me alive."

"That doesn't prove anything." Weiss said.

"What does she look like?"

"She... wait, let me think. She reminds of a character from Fullmetal Alchemist." Ruby said.

"You mean her?". He showed her a picture of the character.

"Yes, kinda like that, but younger."

"That's Lust! She's a villain!"

"That still doesn't mean that she's evil. She even helped us at the Breach. I bet she's very nice." Pyrrha said. (I'm such a douchebag)

**"But if we send demons now to attack, they will get destroyed!"**

**"Who gives a shit? Once the job is done, we can start our plan. And soon, we will have the power to destroy those warriors."**

"Well, won't they need an army? If the demons die, it will be difficult." Jaune said.

**"I guess you're right. Hey pinkie, you should pay attention to what we are saying."**

**"I think you should pay attention so you can understand our sister's big words, Frankenstein's brain!" Aezielle said while not paying attention. Rhelnila grabbed her by the neck and prepared her fist.**

"The pink one is the true threat!" Nora said.

"Yeah, she looks like she's the brain. Pristia just thinks that she's better than everyone." Yang said.

**"You want to say that again, you pink shit?"**

**"No fighting! As much as I want to see you killing each other, we have more important things to do. Don't you understand? If we succeed, then we will rule everything! Our dreams will come true!" Pristia said.**

**"It's your fucking dream! I don't care about ruling everything! I was happy just tormenting souls! If you had never read Mein Kampf, we wouldn't have done any of this!" Aezielle said.**

**"If it's my dream then it's yours too, so shove it. Rhelnila doesn't complain."**

**"Because she doesn't have a problem kissing your hairy cunt!"**

"Woah, what the hell?!" Yang said while laughing like most of them.

"Are they allowed to say that?" Weiss said.

"On TV it's censored." Nova said.

**Then they both punched her in the face. "OWWW! AHHH! I HOPE YOU TWO FUCKING DIE!"**

**"You too. Anyway, let's release the demons to the human world now." Later, they reached an open area with a horde of demons behind them. In front of the army was a bigger, more buff demon, probably the leader. "Pristia, I brought them as you said." he said.**

**"Good job, Grodius. Go and cause chaos, and later, maybe, who knows... we could have some fun the two of us~. Now go!". A portal opened and the demons charged. When the portal closed, Aezielle realised something.**

**"Wait... where did they exactly go?"**

**"Japan."**

**"But... the warriors are still there."**

**"I know."**

"But they will die. That isn't smart." Pyrrha said.

**"They will die instantly. Why did you sent them there and not far away?"**

**"Because I can't stand Grodius. He's so annoying."**

**"Yeah, I get it. He's always like **_**Why don't you taste my 200°C dick, bitch?**_**. But how will that make us stronger?"**

**"We don't need that much energy."**

"So it doesn't matter if they die, as long as they get negative energy?" Ren said.

"Pretty much."

**Back on Earth, Shizuna's friend, Takeshi, was on his way to home. But he couldn't stop thinking about the two foreigners. "What would two random foreigners want from Shizuna? Maybe they're publishers, but that sentence... 'do you believe in god?'. It's really bizarre.". His thoughts were interrupted when he saw a weird light in the middle of the road. The light grew bigger and then turned into a hole. From the hole came an army of demons. Everyone around freaked out and ran away. "What are these?! Demons?!" he said while running away. **

**"Alright, boys!" Grodius said. "Scatter and steal, scare, torture, kill, rape, I don't give a shit! CAUSE CHAOS!" Grodius said. The demons scattered to terrorize people. Takeshi ran as fast as he could. He saw behind him that a couple of demons were following him. Eventually, the demons caught up and tackled him down. **

"I don't want to see!" Ruby said, covering her eyes.

**They were about to stab him with their claws. He thought that he was going to die, so he closed his eyes to not see it. But luck was on his side. Someone charged at them and destroyed them. Takeshi opened his eyes and saw a man with white hair and an energy blade. **

"You have to admit. The directors know how to make cool shots." Yang said.

**"Who... who are you?"**

**"Hey, you're Shizuna's friend. Takeshi, right?"**

**"You're... the foreigner! Why is your hair white?"**

**"It's a transformation. We were going to the airport, until we sensed dark energy."**

**"Where is Shizuna?"**

**"She's with Ellen, killing demons."**

**"****何****!?". Takeshi then got up and went to look for her friend.**

**"Hey, where are you going?! It's dangerous!". He wanted to follow him but more demons kept coming. "Να πάρει!"**

"Is he stupid?!" Weiss said.

**Meanwhile, Ellen and Shizuna were fighting alongside to protect the people from the demons. Now Shizuna's had red hair. "Where did they come from?!" she said.**

**"I don't know! Damn, if that's how things will go in the future, it will be annoying." Ellen said.**

**"But then again, I'm having a good time, killing demons alongside with the Speed Demon."**

**"I'm glad you're having fun, because more of them are coming!"**

**"Hey, you want to see something?". Shizuna made a red energy ball and threw it at a bunch of demons. The ball made a fiery explosion, which burned them alive.**

"I wish I could do that." Yang said.

**"Nice. Check this out.". Ellen ran at another bunch. She disappeared and reappeared at the other side. Suddenly the demons blew up. "Cool, huh?"**

"I can do that!" Ruby said.

"Not like that. She basically popped to the other side. Not even her friends would see that." Nova said.

"Why are they so OP?!"

**"****すごい****!"**

**"Shizuna-san!" a voice said. She turned around and saw Takeshi.**

**"Takeshi-san?! What are you doing here?! Leave now, it's dangerous!"**

**'I can't believe it... her hair turned red! So she had super powers!'**

"But if people knew what she's capable of, then he would know better than anyone that she can transform." Blake said.

"Maybe they didn't know about that form. Maybe she didn't tell anyone, because she didn't have too." Ruby said.

"No, people usually show off to their friends." Yang said.

**"Wait, where's Stamatis?". Ellen said. She heard an explosion behind her. He shot a ki blast at a bunch of demons. "You came late."**

**"Well, excuse me Mrs 'Gotta go fast'." Stamatis said.**

"And there's the first Sonic joke." Jaune said.

**"Wow, a Sonic joke. Like I never heard one before."**

**"Anyway, are they all dead?"**

**"Yes, but unfortunately... we had some casualties.". Then his expression became dark. **

"He got serious quickly." Ruby said.

"Casualties are still casualties." Blake said.

**"Hey, why are you like that?" Shizuna said.**

**"Because it was our first important mission... and we didn't save them all. People died.". She could see his fists bleeding. **

"He got very serious." Yang said.

**He dedicated his life to protect anyone. But he wasn't able to protect them.**

**"I know how you feel. But that's how it is. Sometimes, we can't save everyone. But at least it's over." Ellen said.**

**"Not yet!" a voice said. They saw Grodius. "You forgot me!"**

**"That one's bigger!" Shizuna said.**

**"After all these years, Satan decided to sent his demons now? That doesn't make sense." Stamatis said.**

**"Satan?!"**

**"Satan? Who gives a fuck about Satan? He's a coward! I serve the new ruler of Hell!" Grodius said.**

"They plan to de-throne Lucifer?!" Pyrrha said.

**"What are you talking about?" Stamatis said.**

**"Alright, I had enough, let's get this over with." Ellen said.**

**"Well, come and p-" Before he could finish his sentence, Ellen punched him in the face quickly sending him back. "What the hell?!". He got up and saw her screaming in pain. Her hand was burning.**

"Holy shit!" Yang said.

"It's melting!" Weiss said.

"I can't stand body horror!" Ruby said.

**"AHHHHH! MY HAND! IT'S BURNING!"**

**"Ellen! What did you do?!" Stamatis said.**

**"I have a special ability. I can raise the temperature of my body to 200°C!" Grodius said.**

"I'm not sure that skin melts in that temperature." Ren said.

**"That much?! Then why is my hand slowly melting?! Holy crap, I can see the bone!" Ellen said.**

"Okay, this went to JoJo level of body horror." Yang said.

**"In Celsius, dumbass. No one can handle my hot sexy body!"**

"Oh, it's another system. That makes sense." Ren said

**"You know, just because you're buff, doesn't mean that you're beautiful." Stamatis said and threw a weak ki blast at him which he swiped upwards. **

"That was nothing! What the hell?!" Jaune said.

**"Is that all you got?"**

**"No, I just don't want to cause more collateral damage! Γαμώτο, what are we going to do now? Ellen's hand will be okay, but it will take some time."**

"Who cares about collateral damage at this point?!" Weiss said.

"I don't think her hand will be okay." Blake said.

**"Let me take care of him." Shizuna said.**

**"Eh? Are you sure?"**

**"Don't worry, I got this." She approached Grodius, ready to kick his ass.**

"The best option." Ruby said.

"They all can kill him! Why aren't they doing it?!" Weiss said.

"Maybe because they're bored?" Yang said.

"That's a terrible and selfish reason." Blake said.

**"You're approaching me? Let's see what you can do, hot stuff." Grodius said. Shizuna's arms then got on fire. "What?!". She then gave him a hard punch to his stomach, making spill blood.**

_**Now playing: Stardust Crusaders - JoJo's Bizarre Adventures**_

**"Is that okay?"**

"JoJo music? JoJo music! JOJO MUSIC! YES!" Yang said.

"Why do they put music from other media? Don't they have their own soundtrack?" Ren said.

"It's the Blu Ray version. That version also has the show with the soundtrack he imagined it with. It costed a lot of money." Nova said.

"I can imagine." Weiss said.

**"W-what? H-how?!"**

**"I can raise the temperance of my body too. I'm the warrior of fire.". She then punched him in the face, sending him crash to a building.**

**"That was awesome!" Ellen said.**

**"Really? Thanks!"**

**"Hey... where's Takeshi? He was around here." Stamatis said. Shizuna then remembered that he was near the area where she sent Grodius. The smoke cleared and they saw Grodius holding up Takeshi.**

"Why is he still there?! Dumbass." Blake said.

"I think it's cute." Ruby said.

"But stupid." Weiss said.

"But cute nonetheless."

**"Hahaha! You can't do anything now! If you move closer, I'll melt him!". They were worried but then they were smirking.**

"What do they have in mind?" Jaune said.

**"Who?"**

**"What do you mean who? Hi... huh?!". Grodius noticed that he wasn't in his hands. "Where us he?!". He then saw him next to the others. **

**"How did you do this?!"**

"Yeah, that's a really good question." Yang said.

"Well, Ellen is very fast so she took him from his grasp, without him noticing it." Ruby said.

**"I'm the fastest thing alive. I took him before you could notice it." Ellen said.**

"They are very broken." Jaune said.

"Even with a hand which is melting." Weiss said.

"Actually her hand is in less bad condition. It has some flesh. So, they all must have regeneration abilities." Blake said

**"And now it's time for you to die." Stamatis said. Grodius got a little scared. He started running away, because he knew that he would lose. But Shizuna appeared in front of him. He almost freaked out. He fell on his knees and started begging.**

**"Please, I'm sorry! Let me go and I won't bother you again! Please!"**

**"You tried to use my friend as a hostage. Right now I want to beat the living shit out of you. But that isn't my thing. I'm not a killer." Shizuna said.**

**"*sigh*"**

**"But..."**

**"Huh?"**

"Come on... do it!" Yang said.

**"My job is to kill demons. Since you're a demon, it doesn't make me a bad person. So I won't hold back."**

**"No! Please, NO!". She then started punching him nonstop.**

"YES!"

**"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAAA!". Her fists were so fast that only the fire was visible. She ended her punches by sending him up in the sky. She got in a potition and the fire on her hands, moved on her palms, creating a ball. She launched it like a hadouken at Grodius. She turned her back at the explosion to make it look cool. "Hmph, ****哀れな****."**

_**End of song**_

"YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANTED, YES!"

"It was freaking awesome! The fire behind the punches was cool!" Ruby said.

"And that explosion!" Nora said.

"I am very jealous, right now!" Yang said.

**"That...was...AWESOME!" both Stamatis and Ellen said.**

**"That was the best JoJo reference I've seen!" Stamatis said.**

**"Aww, thank you guys. Takeshi-san?" Shizuna said.**

**"Shizuna-san, I-". Shizuna then smacked his head.**

**"What were you thinking?! You were about to die, ****馬鹿****!"**

This got a few laughs.

**"I'm sorry, I was worried about you!"**

"Aww, that's so sweet." Pyrrha said.

**"Well, team we saved the day. Let's go at the airport, shall we? We're going to miss the flight." Stamatis said.**

**"Wait... you're leaving too?"**

**"I'm sorry. But I have to." Shizuna said.**

**"Oh..."**

**"Don't worry. I'll come again. I promise."**

**After the goodbyes and hours of flying, the team returned to New York. Unfortunately, they were being followed by a lot of crazy fans. That was because Ellen forgot to put her costume on. The incident was shown in the news, worldwide. Now her identity was revealed. **

"Who does that?! After three years, she just forgot!" Weiss said.

"She would reveal her identity at some point." Jaune said.

**After that, they escaped the fans and returned to her apartment. "I can't believe you forgot to put your costume! Who does that?!" Stamatis said.**

**"Shut up, okay?! I forgot to bring it with me!" Ellen said.**

**"I didn't expect my first trip to America like that." Shizuna said.**

**"Okay, let's calm down and think of what we have to do. Shizuna needs to become a Christian, me and her to become American citizens and to find the warrior of knowledge."**

"Does she have to be Christian?" Ruby said.

"It's one of the most important things. If you're not, then who do you think you're fighting for?" Nova said.

**"Citizens? You mean you're gonna stay?" Ellen said.**

**"Of course! Thanks to 11/9 all super heroes have their bases here."**

"Does he mean 9/11?" Jaune said.

"Different nations have different ways to say the date." Nova said.

**"...well, you're not wrong, but I don't think that my apartment is a good base."**

**"We'll think about it later."**

**"Do I have to change religion?" Shizuna said.**

**"Yes, you do." **

**"So, where's the last warrior?" Ellen said.**

**"That's the interesting part. Ladies! Grab your Minecraft diamond armor and swords and practice your Naruto running, because we're gonna go somewhere that a lot of people wanted to go this September!"**

**"Huh?" Shizuna said.**

**"You don't mean..." Ellen said.**

**"Exactly. We are going to Area 51!" Stamatis said.**

"Area 51?! Does that mean..." Ruby said.

"The last warrior is an alien." Nova said.

"That's so cool!"

**Back at Hell, the three sisters were ready for the next phase. "Do you think this is enough?" Aezielle said.**

**"Trust me, it's enough. Now all we had to do is-". Pristia got interrupted when Satan entered their room.**

**"YOU!" he said. "How dare you do something like that?! Do you have any idea what you've done?! I don't want another war with the warriors!"**

"Wow, you weren't kidding. He looks terrible. Yang said.

"Wait. I saw pictures of your brother and he was beautiful. Like, Dio level of beauty. Why is he ugly?" Blake said.

"That was my fault. My father banished him and then I said "Hey, let's make him ugly." and my father said no. But I did it anyways and I got grounded for a century." Nova said.

"That's a big dick move." Yang said.

"I know."

**"Well, things changed, Lucy."**

**"Lucy?! How dare you?! Do you know who you're talking to?! When I get you, I'll-". He got interrupted when he felt a pain in his chest. He saw the edge of a sword sticking out. "W-what?!". Rhelnila, who was behind him, pulled out the sword. The sisters saw his dead body. "Sorry, but Hell needs a new leader. Someone ruthless and devilish. You're not the same Lucifer that you were before."**

"That seemed anticlimatic." Jaune said.

**"Sooo... this is it? That was anticlimatic." Aezielle said.**

**"Who cares? He's dead." Rhelnila said. They all started absorbing the power that Lucifer had.**

**"Girls, we did it. Now nothing will stand in our way. Not even those warriors."**

_**TO BE CONTINUED...**_

_**[Outro plays]**_

"That was a cool episode. It's getting better." Ruby said.

"I hope it has more moments like these." Yang said.

"Okay, now. Let's watch some Sanik memes." Nova said.

**And done! Next is a Sonic marathon. Everything will be about Sonic. Like, follow, review, sent a PM if you want and read the Nova Force on my other pages. See you soon!"**


	67. Sonic Shorts (with guests)

**Hey everyone. I just wanted to say something. I've seen a lot of actual reviews for my story. Thanks. That's way better than all the requests. Also I saw a review from a guest that obviously doesn't like the Nova Force chapters. Well, guess what. Because I'm planning to end this story at some point, season 2 will end when they see the entire first season of the Nova Force. So, everyone who doesn't like it, fuck you.**

* * *

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 64:**** Sonic Shorts Volume 8 Wide-screen Edition**

"Who wants to see some Sanik memes?" Nova said.

"Can we choose something else?" Weiss said.

"No."

"Then why do you ask?"

"Shut up. It's from the golden ages of Youtube. And this time we have some guests."

"Guests?" Pyrrha said.

"Sure!". He then calls said guests on his phone. "Are you ready? Cool, we are waiting for you.". He ends the call and suddenly a portal appears.

"What the hell?" Yang said. "Who are these guests?"

"You'll see.". Then out of the portal came... a blue hedgehog and a yellow two-tail fox.

"Hey everyone!" Sonic said. Everyone was shocked. Jaune even fainted. Ruby was about to explode from happiness.

"*big gasp* OH MY GOSH! IT'S SONIC AND TAILS! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! SONICANDTAILSARERIGHTHEREINFRONTOFMEICAN'TBELIEVEITIT'STHEBESTDAYEVEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Ruby said.

"Wow, someone's very happy."

"S... S... S-S-Sonic..." Jaune said, gaining consciousness.

"Yep, it's me."

"I asked Sonic and Tails to hang out with us." Nova said.

"And it's great to meet you all. Right, Tails?"

"Right, Sonic. And... uhhh, why is she looking at me like that?" Tails said, referring to Ruby. She immediately hugged him, because he's adorable.

"Aww, you're so adorable and fluffy!" she said.

"I'm sorry, she gets excited like that all the time." Yang said, taking Ruby away from him. "Come on, let him go."

"Although it's kinda strange hanging out with an omnipotent god and a bunch of anime kids and watching videos about me, it's actually cool." Sonic said.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? We're not anime!" Weiss said.

"Why do you think that it's a bad thing?" Blake said.

"Also we do it all the time." Sonic said.

"Yeah, we go to the Persona universe, Phantasy Star, Hyperdimension Neptunia and a lot more SEGA franchises." Tails said.

"Wait... you know that you're video game characters?" Jaune said.

"Uh huh. Why?" Sonic said.

"It doesn't bother you that you're fictional?" Blake said.

"At the beginning yeah, but my life is pretty cool and as long as everything is alright in the end, I don't have any problems. Now that I think about it, I feel like I've seen you somewhere..."

"Really?" Yang said.

"Yeah, but just you four. Or maybe not. Anyways, what are we watching?"

"The videos from the golden times." Nova said.

"Sonic Shorts?"

"Yep."

"Which one?"

"The last one."

"Ooh, I like that one. Start the video."

"Okay, dude."

**[Sonic Paradox intro]**

**First sketch**

**(A recreation of team Sonic's first cutscene of Sonic Heroes. Tails flies on the X-Tornado, along with Knuckles and Tails is annoyed by Knuckles kicking his head. He then notices Sonic.)**

"Classic scene." Sonic said.

**Tails: Oh, hey look, it's Sonic!**

**(Sonic is running and sees the X-Tornado flying next to him.)**

**Sonic: Yo Tails! Long time no see!**

**Tails: Hey Sonic, check this out!**

**(Sonic takes the letter from Tails. He sees that it's from Eggman.)**

**Letter Eggman: (laughing) Guess what, Sonic Heroes. I've developed the ultimate weapon! Think you can stop me? (more laughing)**

"You know, I never really understood what was that ultimate weapon." Nova said.

"I don't remember actually. It was either the Egg Emperor or the Egg Fleet in general."

"What's with that guy and his egg addiction?" Weiss said.

"Yeah, it would've been better if he was called Robotnik." Ruby said.

"Yeah, that nickname does sound more menacing." Tails said.

"As good as yours, buddy." Sonic said.

"But not as good as yours." Nova said, confusing the rest.

"You mean that Sonic isn't his actual name?" Jaune said.

"Dude, I told you, that's not my actual name! My name is Sonic!" Sonic said.

"Okay... Maurice." Nova said, making the others laugh.

"*sigh*"

"Maurice?! Your name is Maurice?!" Yang said while laughing.

"No, that's Archie Sonic's name."

**Tails: What are we gonna do, Sonic?**

**Sonic: Ha! Think I'd miss this? It's time to crack that Eggman wide open!**

**(Tails and Knuckles jump off the X-Tornado with no one flying it.)**

"Wait, it will crash! Nooo, I liked that!" Ruby said.

"Wait for it." Sonic said.

**Sonic: YEAH! WE ARE SONIC-HOLY FREAKING-**

**(The X-Tornado crashes on them, blowing up.)**

Everyone started laughing.

"That surprised me!" Pyrrha said.

**Next sketch:**

**(It shows Launch Base Zone and a lightning shield monitor. Sonic comes and destroys it, gaining the lightning shield.)**

**Sonic: Ahh, Launch Base Zone. Been a long time. Huh?**

**(He turns around and sees with wide eyes that the shield attracts the platform. The platform breaks and comes towards Sonic.)**

"That... shield can't be that strong." Weiss said.

"Yeah, even I can't break apart the platform with my semblance. I think." Pyrrha said.

"Semblance?" Tails said.

"It's our abilities. Most people on Remnant and especially in the academy here has one." Blake said.

"Except for fearless leader, but we love him anyway!" Nora said, hugging Jaune, making a squeaky sound.

"Please, don't bring that up." he said.

"I turn into rose petals and move really fast, like you! Except for the rose petal part." Ruby said.

"That's cool." Sonic said.

**(Sonic screams with a cartoon expression and runs away, while everything behind is chasing him.)**

**Eggman: This time, Sonic will not get past- (Sonic passes him by running on water.)... me?**

**Knuckles: Why am I here? (Sonic passes.) That didn't happen 15 years ago. **

**(He sees the debris coming towards him. They hit Eggman. Knuckles dives in the water, but he gets electrocuted and the debris hit him.)**

"Ooh, that probably hurt a lot." Jaune said.

"Hmm... electric water..." Nora said. She then gets up and wears a pair of glasses that she took out of nowhere. "I need a toaster! Scientist Nora is back!"

"NO! NOT AGAIN!". Jaune hugged Pyrrha because he was scared and she didn't had a problem with that.

"Relax, I won't need you for this experiment."

"*relieved sigh*"

"Uhh..." Sonic said.

"It's a long story and no, no more experiments in the bathroom." Ren said.

"Aww..." she said.

**Next sketch:**

**(Labyrinth Zone! Classic Sonic stops before the bubbles.)**

**Classic Sonic: Okay, doing good, doing good. Let's just go ahead and, y'know, get some more air. I've already got plenty but, y'know, let's be safe. Let's be cautious about this. Get some more air and then the zone is mine.**

"I hate that zone." Sonic said.

"We all hate it." Nova said.

"Is it that bad?" Weiss said.

"It's every gamer's worst nightmare."

"Can you just swim to the top?" Blake said.

"... I can't swim." Sonic said.

"Really? But hedgehogs can swim."

"Well, I can't."

"That's racist." Nora said.

"No, it's not." Blake said.

"Irony~!" Yang said.

"Shut up."

**C. Sonic: 'Kay... any second now. No rush, feelin' good... ha ha... (drowning music plays) What?! Uh-okay. Stop screwing around. Come on. Come on! **

**(The bubble doesn't come out. Sonic starts turning purple, because he can't breathe. And then he drowns.)**

"That's very disturbing..." Weiss said.

"We just watched him drown..." Ruby said.

**(The bubble comes out.)**

**C. Sonic's soul: OH, COME ON!**

Some of them laughed.

"That must suck a lot." Yang said.

**Next sketch:**

**(Classic Sonic appears. He sees Eggman's car and him on his Egg Mobile, controlling it.)**

"One of the easiest boss battles." Sonic said.

**Eggman: (evil laughter) (But he can't land his Egg Mobile on the car.) Come on... drat... blast it... oh... oh dear... I... (more grunting)**

**C. Sonic: Come on! I can drive that thing better than you can!**

**Eggman: Shut up! This is a lot harder than it looks! (He breaks the controller and the copters stop moving. He crashes down. Then the car runs over him.) Owie.**

**Next sketch:**

**(AoSTH intro!)**

"Yes! It's Pingas!" Nora said.

"I don't care what people say, I love that show." Nova said.

"It's way chaotic. I'm like Daffy Duck, but cooler." Sonic said.

**(Rrrobotnik plays whack-a-mole with Sonic and Tails. Thinking that he hit him, Rrrrrrrobotnik stopd to see if he hit him. Tails then kicks him in his giant butt, getting him stuck in the hole. His upper body appears from another hole, behind his butt. He gets scared of his own butt.)**

"His butt is huuuuge!" Nora said.

**Next sketch:**

**(Knuckles is standing there, doing nothing. Then Sonic appears and sticks something on his back.)**

**Sonic: Hey there, Knuckles! What's up?**

**Knuckles: What the heck?! What did you do on my back?! (A rocket wisp.)**

"A little alien?" Ruby said.

"Wait for it." Sonic said.

**Knuckles: *sigh*... I hate you so much right now. (The wisp uses his ability, flying like a rocket along with Knuckles, until it stops.)**

Some of them laughed.

"That was good." Yang said.

**Sonic: You think he'll remember that he can glide? (crashes down) Guess not.**

**Next sketch: **

**(Tails sees a Sonic extra life monitor. He destroys it with a spindash, but he didn't get an extra life. He beheaded Sonic.)**

"Oh no, I killed you!" Tails said, laughing a little.

"Yeah, you did!" Sonic said, also laughing.

"What?! How?!" Weiss said.

"You watched so many stupid videos and you're still asking questions?" Yang said.

"But... but... oh forget it."

**Next sketch:**

**(Death Egg zone! C. Sonic is chasing Eggman, but he's too fast. Eventually, Sonic gets tired and falls from exhaustion, as he watches Eggman getting away.)**

"But you're the fastest thing alive!" Weiss said.

"That didn't happen. It's just the cutscene." Sonic said.

"But he's surprisingly fast." Tails said.

"And he had a headstart, okay?"

"That's no excuse." Nova said.

**Sonic: How... can a man... THAT FAT MOVE F****** FAST?! UGH!...**

Everyone laughed.

**Next sketch:**

**(A badnik was ready to launch its fireballs at Sonic. C. Sonic jumps over it.)**

**Badnik: Okay, he's behind me. Now I just gotta turn around and... Hey, wait a second... Why can I only travel in one direction?!**

"Who builds a robot like that?! I'm just wondering how is he still considered a threat?!" Weiss said.

**Next sketch:**

**(Sonic destroys a badnik, releasing the small pig.)**

**Pig: Yay! You saved me! (Sonic gets a hungry smile, watching this pig as a chilli dog.) Why are you looking at me like that? (He's basically drooling and licking his lips.)**

"Nooooo! That's so terrible!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"At least I know that's not true." Sonic said.

"I never tried a chill dog." Yang said.

"You should, they are amazing."

**Next sketch:**

**(C. Sonic runs on Bridge zone. He sees a sign that says BRIDGE ZONE. But the G falls.)**

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

**C. Sonic: What the... (He hears a familiar voice saying his name.) OH CRA- (A tsunami of Amy brides hits him.)**

"Okay, that's scary." Yang said. "But seriously, why do you run away from her? She's nice."

"He's shy." Tails said.

"No, I'm not shy! A lot of girls want to go on a date with me. It's just..." Sonic said.

"Aww, that's adorable." the girls said.

**Next sketch: **

**(The Death Egg!)**

"That's the biggest Star Wars reference." Jaune said.

**Penguin badnik: Attention! Dr. Robotnik's ship is approaching the station! Everybody get ready for his arrival! (Eggman crashes in, destroying a couple of badniks.) What? Ah- nooo!**

**Penguin: Uh, sir? Was your mission successful in stealing the Master Emerald?**

**Eggman: (grumpy grunts)**

**Penguin: You mean the hedgehog got in the way again?!**

**Eggman: No! I let him win this time. It's all part of my master plan.**

**Penguin: Ah, I see... I'm not sure how long our backup power is going to last! (Shows backup power)**

"How can a little robot give power to a giant space station?" Ruby said.

**Eggman: We'll get the Master Emerald, in time.**

**Eggrobo: Sir, it's ready.**

**Eggman: Excellent. Now it's time to try out my latest creation.**

"Why are his pants yellow?" Nora said.

**Penguin: What is it?**

**Eggman: It's my new way of getting around the station more effectively. Let me show how it works.**

"A treadmill?" Blake said.

**Eggman: First you step here, then you- (flies around, screaming like a girl, until he falls down)**

Everyone was laughing.

"That looks fun!" Nora said.

"It sure is." Sonic said.

**Next sketch:**

**(Super Sonic and Tails were playing checkers in a spike pit. Super Sonic makes a move. Tails dies.)**

Some of them laughed.

"Can't you just fly as Super Sonic?" Ruby said.

"I can, but not in that game." Sonic said.

"Yeah, if that happens, you can't escape. You have to die so you can respawn." Nova said.

**Next sketch:**

**Tails: Hey Sonic. How are you liking the new wrist communicators Rotor and I made? Not a half-bad job, if I say so myself. (Sonic sees that he has a message and touches the screen.)**

"That's mean, putting your logo on something that two people made." Ruby said.

**Tails: With all the security features Rotor and I packed in there, steealth missions in Robotropolis will be a beeeze from now on! Ww even added this one feature that can- (notices Sonic's disgusted face) uh, uhh...**

"Aw man, I forgot about that." Sonic said.

"What?"

**Tails: What are... what are you- (SEXY EGGMAN DANCE!) (They are both disgusted)**

Everyone was laughing and also disgusted.

"Why would someone make this?! It's even worse than his tetris dick!" Yang said.

**Next sketch: **

**Sonic: Hey, SEGA! Why don't I have any fur like them? (points Shadow and Silver) Come on! I'm a hedgehog too, ain't I? Can you do something? (Hippity hoppity, you're a werehog now.) But not like this! Damn!**

"Yeah, not one of my favourite moments." Sonic said.

"But you look so cool!" Ruby said.

"Yeah, it is kinda cool." Yang said.

**Omochao: You got a wolf pelt! (Gets punched)**

**(Amy appears, scaring Sonic.)**

**Amy: Hi! Have you seen a blue hedgehog around here?**

"She didn't recognize you? _She_?" Weiss said.

"I know, I also found that weird." Sonic said.

**Sonic: Hmm... nope.**

**Amy: 'Kay, thanks. (leaves)**

**Sonic: This new look is awesome! Thanks, SEGA! (not anymore) Oh no...**

**Amy: SONIC! (Tackles him)**

"Aww..." Nora said.

**Next sketch: **

_**And now, here's another Pointless Information Moment. Starring your host, Omochao.**_

"Oh come on..." Sonic said.

"Is that thing that annoying?" Blake said.

"You have now idea. You should've seen how angry it made Knuckles."

"And Amy. She sent it far away than Knuckles did." Tails said.

**Omochao: Hi, I'm Omochao! Did you know you can go faster by increasing your speed? You can also decrease it by moving slower! Isn't that interesting?**

_***record scratch***_

**Sonic: Okay, whose idea was it to make this short? I mean, come on! This is stupid!**

**Omochao: Killer whales are carnivores!**

**Sonic: KILLER WHALE?! WHERE?! (runs away, screaming)**

"Are you afraid of killer whales?" Ren said.

"No, it's just that every time I go to Emerald Coast, there's a whale that tries to eat me. And I still don't know why that happens." Sonic said.

**Omochao: Tails is best known for stealing cookies from Amy's house!**

**Amy: What?! (sees Tails eating her cookies)**

Everyone was laughing.

"I can relate to that." Ruby said.

**Tails: Oh, would you look at the time. Gotta go! (Amy starts chasing him with her hammer.)**

**Amy: Gimme back my cookies! Get back here!**

"I can relate to that." Nora said.

"Huh?" Sonic said.

"One time she caught a guy trying to get her pancakes." Ren said.

"I broke his legs with my hammer!" Nora said.

"She broke his legs with her hammer."

"Who would steal someone's pancakes?" Tails said.

"Then we learned that it was a dare." Pyrrha said.

"I broke his legs too!" Nora said.

"She broke his legs too."

"But then I got detention. Stupid school rules!"

"I think she's crazier than Amy." Sonic whispered to Tails.

**Omochao: Money is a great source of income! It's green! (It spills his drink on him and blows up.)**

"At least it's over."

_**This has been another Pointless Information Moment with Omochao. Thank you and good night.**_

**Next sketch:**

**(C. Sonic falls in Hydrocity Zone and a badnik sees it.)**

"The only water zone that I actually like."

**Badnik 1: No... no, no, no, no, no, no.**

**(Sonic is getting the water out of his shoes until some badniks see him.)**

**Badnik 2: Hey. Prepare to meet ya doom, hedgehag. (Sonic destroys them)**

**(Badnik 1 sees what happened and runs to tell the others.)**

**Badnik 1: Hey, guys! Sonic... Sonic's coming! (Sees him behind him on a treadmill.) Oh, my GOOOOOOO- (Sonic neck is snapped by the treadmill's hand)**

"Wait, what? The treadmill's hand killed you?" Yang said.

"You know, I'm actually surprised, why isn't Eggman making more of these to destroy me?" Sonic said.

**(The other badniks are worried that Sonic is dead.)**

**Badnik 3: He's dead. Sonic... is dead. He's dead! He's dead!**

**Badnik 4: No, no, thanks Greg, thanks. Now Robotnik's just gonna kill us.**

"But isn't that their job?" Weiss said.

**Greg: But... I-I thought ou-our job was to...**

**Badnik 5: Let's get out of here before the big man shows up!**

_**LATER...**_

**(Alex Kidd sees Sonic's corpse.)**

"Oh, I hate that part." Sonic said, closing his eyes.

**Alex: Who's number one now, huh? (pees on Sonic) Who's number one now?**

"That's just disrespectful." Jaune said.

"Wait, who was that?" Ruby said.

"Alex Kidd. The mascot before me." Sonic said.

"Oh, that makes sense." Yang said.

**Next sketch:**

**(There were three monitors. Two extra life ones and one Eggman one. Sonic destroys his monitor, Tails destroys his one and Eggman destroys his. Eggman dies.)**

"Death monitor?" Jaune said.

"Yep." Sonic said.

**Next sketch: **

**(Sonic is on his vehicle which was melting in lava.)**

**Sonic: Whose idea was it to boat race in hot lava?!**

**Next sketch:**

**(It's the scene from Sonic Adventure 2 where Sonic and Shadow transform.)**

"Not this again." Blake said.

"Shadow, you're still dehydrated!" Yang said and started laughing.

**Sonic: Having fun, Shadow?**

**Shadow: Hmph. (gives the middle finger) (thinking) Wait a minute! Why am I silver?!**

"Yeah, shouldn't he be also gold?" Ruby said.

**(The scene from Sonic Heroes where Sonic transforms.)**

**Sonic: I can't beat Metal Sonic, without you guys.**

**Shadow: (reading the script) We'll distract the monster, while you use your... ultimate power?**

**Sonic: All we need is the power of teamwork! Am I right, guys?**

"That's Metal Sonic?!"

"His final form." Sonic said.

"It's so cool!"

"Wait, why aren't you and Shadow transforming? Shouldn't it be easier?" Jaune said.

"Well, yeah it would be." Sonic said.

"But the power of friendship and all that, you know." Nova said.

**Tails: YEEEAAAH!**

**(Sonic 06 transformation scene.)**

**Shadow: HOLD IT!**

**Sonic: What?**

**Shadow: I'm not even silver this time-**

**Silver: I'm Silver!**

**Shadow: Quiet you!**

"Wait, we all turned Super that time. Wait, it never happened." Sonic said.

**Silver: Yes sir...**

**Sonic: Look at your hair. It's just like mine. That makes you **_**thuper**_**.**

"That's just mean." Ruby said.

**Shadow: Don't even joke like that.**

**Sonic: See there? (points at his silver thread) You're "super" now!**

**Knuckles: It's that ego of his. HE'S DOING IT AGAIN!**

**Next sketch:**

**(Sonic Lost World trailer.)**

_**When a powerful enemy arises, only one can stop them. Its Sonic the Hedgehog!**_

**Sonic: Alright. Let's go! (runs past them)**

_**Uh, uhm... Sonic? Get back here. Sonic, Sonic, no wait, Sonic, GET BA-**_

**Next sketch:**

Everyone laughed.

"You just ran! Why?!" Yang said while laughing.

"They usually chase me." Sonic said.

**(Tails love song)**

"Ooh, a confession~!" Yang said.

"Oh no..." Tails said.

**Tails: **_**Something in your eyes**_

_**Was so inviting**_

Everyone was laughing and Tails was blushing from embarrassment.

"A plant?!" Weiss said while laughing.

"Hey, you never watched Sonic X, you don't know!" Tails said.

_**Something in your smile**_

_**Was so exciting**_

_**Something in my heart**_

**(goes to kiss the pot)**

_**Told me I must have you!**_

**(Sonic enters the place)**

**Sonic: Tails! Damn you! Stop kissing that pot and find a real girlfriend!**

They couldn't stop laughing.

**Next sketch:**

**Sonic: I found you, faker!**

**Shadow: Faker? I think you're the fake hedgehog around here! You're comparing yourself to me? HA! You're not even good enough to be my fake.**

**Sonic: I'LL MAKE YOU EAT THOSE WORDS! (jumps towards him) YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!**

**Shadow: Hey, don't you want to hear the rest of my insu- (Sonic takes the subtitles and and shoves them in Shadow's mouth.)**

Everyone was laughing.

"You literally made him eat his words!" Nora said while laughing.

**Shadow: (chokes in words and he falls of the tree)**

**Sonic: Well, I think I showed that faker his place. (eats the word faker)**

**Next sketch:**

**(Sonic died! By an extra life monitor!)**

"Dead already?" Yang said.

**Amy: S-Sonic...?**

**(Knuckles is just staring at his corpse, while Amy is crying.)**

Blake started laughing all of a sudden. Something that surprised most of them.

"He died from an extra life monitor! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she said.

"Okay, it is ironic, but not that funny." Weiss said. Then Ren started laughing, something that surprised them all. Then Jaune started laughing. They couldn't stop laughing.

"This is getting weird." Nora said.

**(Knuckles starts laughing)**

Then everyone laughed.

**Knuckles: Oh my God! Can you believe it?! What are the chances! I gotta tell someone about this! **

"That's just wrong!" Pyrrha said.

**Knuckles: (on the phone) Tails, Sonic just got killed!**

**Tails: What?!**

**Knuckles: By an extra life box!**

**Tails: That's awfu-**

**Knuckles: **_**THAT'S HILARIOUS! Hahaha, I gotta go tell someone a-**_

**Tails: What, you jerk-! (hangs up)**

"His face!" Blake said while laughing with the rest.

**Eggman: This time, Sonic will be- (his phone is ringing) Hello?**

**Knuckles: Sonic just got killed by a life monitor! **_**Can you believe it?!(laughter)**_

**(Eggman starts crying, holding a Sonic plushie.)**

"He's crying!" Jaune said while laughing.

**Knuckles: Hey Cream! (Amy destroys everything at Cream's house)**

**Cream: Yeah, we heard.**

The three couldn't stop laughing. It took them some time to calm down.

"Only Shadow laughed that much." Tails said.

"It's like they saw two identical rocks in the desert." Yang said.

"What do you... did you just make another JoJo reference?" Weiss said.

"Hehehe, yeah I did."

**Next sketch:**

**(Sonic is listening to weeb music, thinking of his harem of furrys.)**

"Wow, you have a lot of girls. And that bat wasn't in it." Yang said.

"Again, that's Archie me." Sonic said.

**(Then Eggman's theme starts playing and he's thinking about shirtless Eggman. It's painful to him and falls off the tree.)**

Everyone was laughing.

**Next sketch:**

**(Continuing the second one, Sonic still has the lightning shield and is running away from debris, the Death Egg and Vector. He then arrives to his destination, which is Amy's house.)**

"Why would you go at Amy's?" Jaune said.

**(He quickly knocks her door and she openes it.)**

**Amy: Oh, it's you.**

**Sonic: Amy, I need your help!**

**Amy: So you need my help, do you? After all our canceled dates due to storybook adventures, telling Vector what we were doing **_**that night**_**, and after the gay pranks with Tails, you need my help?**

**Sonic: Yeeaah...?**

"Gay pranks?!" Pyrrha said. said.

"Just make out already!" Nora said.

"Yeah, the answer is still no." Sonic said.

**Amy: You know what? I've had enough of all this crap over the years! You're never going to change! (She slaps him, destroying the shield and closes the door.)**

"Shouldn't be electrocuted by the shield?" Blake said.

**(Now that the shield is gone, everything that he attracted stopped right before they hit him. He started smiling. He was saved. Amy breaks the door open to see what happened.)**

**Amy: What the hell? (Sonic then kisses her.)**

"Yes! They did it!" Nora said.

"It was about time. I hope we see someone else do that." Yang said, while she and everyone else looking at Jaune.

"Why are you all looking at me?" he said.

**(They lived happily ever after. Until they got crushed by the Death Egg.)**

"At least it happened." Ruby said.

**Next sketch:**

**(Continuing the ninth one, the badnik was still going the wrong direction. Another badnik saw him while flying towards Sonic)**

**Badnik 2: Hey man... you know Sonic is headed the other way, ri-**

**Badnik 1: Will you SHUT UP?!**

**Next sketch:**

**Knuckles: Right, that's it! I'm taking the Master Emerald somewhere Eggman will never find it!**

**(He takes the Master Emerald and leaves Angel Island. His journey is big as he goes through Marble Garden Zone, Casino Night Zone, Mushroom Hill Zone, Sandopolis Zone, Lava Reef Zone,-)**

"This is a long journey."

**(- Sky Sanctuary Zone, Pumpkin Hill, Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine-)**

"Wait, chop his what?" Pyrrha said.

**(- Hydrocity Zone, Ice Cap Zone. Until then he was out of energy, but he was pushing the emerald. But he stopped when Eggman appeared and took the emerald.)**

Everyone was laughing, but also feeling sad.

"Poor Knuckles." Ruby said.

**(He was cursing himself, for letting him steal it. Then Eggman kicked him in the face.)**

That surprised them, making them laugh in the end.

"That was very mean!"

**Next sketch:**

**(Sonic Adventure scene!)**

**E-105: This frog is the one we want!**

**E-104: No, here's the real one!**

**E-103: My frog is the right one!**

**(Eggman was coming down on his spinning elevator, but it was spinning too fast and threw him off.)**

Some of them laughed.

"Who would make an elevator like that?" Weiss said.

"The same one who makes stupid robots." Yang said.

**Eggman: Aaagh... note to self. Replace that elevator. Alright, let's see here. E-105, what were you supposed to find?**

**E-105: A frog.**

"A cereal box?" Weiss said.

"They are probably better than Pumpkin Pete's." Ruby said.

**Eggman: And what do you have?**

**E-105: A bowl of Honey Smacks cereal! It has a picture of a frog on it. Would you like some?**

**Eggman: Ah nah, I'm good. Would you like some smacks?**

**E-105: Affirmative! (Eggman smacks its face.)**

Everyone laughed. Except for Nora.

"He smacked the robot's face. And the box says smacks." Ren explained to her.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.". Then she started laughing.

**Eggman: Light speed dash shoes? I wanted a frog, not a good fashion design! Throw them in the sewers. I doubt that will give us any repercussions.**

"And you're wearing those shoes right now?!" Weiss said, feeling disgusted.

"Of course not! They got worn out a long time ago." Sonic said.

**Eggman: And what do you have?**

**E-103: I planted a bomb on Sonic! You just have to press this button to kill him.**

"And then he breaks it because it's not a frog?" Yang said.

**Eggman: I see... Tell me, is this a frog with a tail?**

**E-103: No.**

**Eggman: Then what use is it?! I'm surrounded by idiots... None of you even got a frog! Huh? Ah, there it is! Right there! **

**Big: Huh?**

"That cat again?" Ruby said.

"The fact that it's his frog, makes it funnier." Nova said.

"His frog?" Yang said.

**Eggman: I'm proud of you, Big. But I don't need you all anymore, so prepare to be vaporised.**

"Vaporised?" Jaune said.

**(They all get vaporised.)**

**Big: Froggy? (dies)**

"He killed him?!" Ruby said.

**Eggman: I love being evil... MWUHUHOHOHOHAHAH- (starts spinning fast again)WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH, why did I make thi-i-is?!**

**SONIC SHORTS is experiencing technical difficulties**

"Wait, what is going on?"

"It's the finale." Sonic said.

"It's over? Aww, but it was fun."

**(The video is showing again.)**

**Sonic: (claps) Very funny. Ha ha ha. I don't know how to thank you for all the laughs... AT OUR EXPENSE!**

**(All the animators are tied together.)**

"Are these the animators?" Jaune said.

"Well, they are all gonna die." Nora said.

**Sonic: So now, we're going to have a little fun of our own. (They all laugh menacingly as they pull out their weapons.)**

"Tails with a knife. That's unsettling." Jaune said.

"Yeah, I would pick my arm cannon." he said.

"And Shadow has a freaking gun." Yang said.

**(End credits. SIKE!)**

**Tails: Oh, wait, wait, wait! We can't end this without a super finale ending! So, here you go!**

**The Final Fight**

**Animators vs Sonic**

"Yes! Break some legs!" Nora said.

**(The animators and the Sonic characters where standing on opposite cliffs.)**

"There are a lot of characters." Pyrrha said.

**I don't know who that bird is: There's so many of 'em!**

**RGX: It's SEGA. What did you expect?**

**Sonic: Okay... bring it on! **

**(He, Shadow and Knuckles transform, making it more unfair.)**

"That's unfair!" Ruby said.

**Someone: Did anyone bring a weapon?**

**Someone else: Eh, I've a pencil.**

"Well, they are animators. They can draw weapons into real ones?"

**Boozerman: Okay, whose idea was this? (they all point at him)**

**(Sonic, Shadow and Knuckles charge at them and the fight starts. More like massacre, as the Sonic characters, kill everyone.)**

"That's very brutal." Blake said.

**[Actual credits.]**

**SEGA Shorts coming soon**

"Alright, that was fun. What's next on the list?" Yang said.

"... Should I put Nazo Unleashed now or when the pizza arrives?" Nova said.

"When the pizza arrives. You ordered pizza?" Sonic said.

_(JoJo references: 27)_

**And done! Like, follow, review AND NOT A REQUEST, sent a PM and read the Nova Force. See you soon!**


	68. Sonic Revved Up

**I do not own anything except for my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 65: Sonic Revved Up**

"Sorry, I thought that you wouldn't stay for that long." Nova said.

"He won't?" Ruby said.

"Nah, we will watch Nazo Unleashed and then we'll leave." Sonic said.

"Okay, now let's watch something wholesome." Nova said.

**Episode 1: Chaos café**

**[Cool intro]**

**(The episode starts at Green Hill Zone, where Shadow is sitting next to a tree, reading a book.)**

"That's a cute animation." Ruby said.

"Look how cute Shadow is." Yang said.

"I can't wait to say to him that a girl found him cute." Sonic said.

"He'll probably say: _Heh, of course. I'm the coolest._" Tails said and they both started laughing.

**(Someone's falling. It's Sonic.)**

**Sonic: (offscreen) Hey, Shadow!**

**Shadow: Hm? Aw, what the?! (Shadow get's out of the way and Sonic lands, asserting his dominance. And everything's on fire now.)**

"T-pose?" Jaune said.

"He's asserting his dominance." Yang said.

**Sonic: (Slaps a fire hydrant to extinguish the fire.) That should fix it.**

"Why are my socks like that?" Sonic said.

**Shadow: Sonic, I don't think that's-(water explosion)**

"Fire... fighter..." Nora said, adding another job on her list.

**(In the next scene, they're are both at Shadow's place. Shadow is drying Sonic with a hair dryer. After that, Sonic is just sitting on the floor and Shadow is drawing.)**

"Aww, look at his cute face!"

**Sonic: So what have you been up to, Shadow?**

**Shadow: If you must know, I've been planning on starting a café. (Shows drawing.)**

"That's sounds like something that someone would do on retirement." Weiss said.

"Well, he is technically a boomer, so I can see him as a café owner." Ruby said and Sonic and Tails started laughing.

**Sonic: Oh, cool! Can I help?**

**Shadow: As annoying as you are, you at least have somewhat of an understanding of how this world works. So fine.**

**[Transition]**

**Sonic: First, we're gonna need a snazzy name for the place. So what'cha got?**

**Shadow: Hmm... Chaos CAFÉ!**

"That's a cool name."

"But not for a café." Blake said.

**Sonic: Alright, sweet! I'm gonna go get this approved, so I'll be right back! (He leaves and breaks into the mayor's office.) Yes, hi. Please stamp here, and here, and here, and Knuckles.**

**Knuckles: Oh no!**

**Sonic: Kay sankue~!**

"... What?"

"You just broke into the mayor's office and Knuckles got stamped. Why?" Weiss said.

"Because it's a joke." Sonic said.

_**Garfield:**__**Usagi, Desmond... It's time I tell you the truth. (Pulls off his mask, revealing that he was Sans all along!)**_

_**Usagi: *gasp***_

_**Etika: OOOOOOH MY, OH MY!**_

**Shadow: Twelve seasons for this?**

Some of them were laughing.

"It was Sans all along!" Nora sais.

"I loved the part with Etika!" Yang said.

"Rest in peace." Nova said.

**(Sonic returns.)**

**Sonic: We're approved!**

**Shadow: Why do you have a key to my house?**

**Sonic: Never mind that, let's go check out the place.**

**[Transition]**

**Shadow: Sonic, this looks disgusting.**

**Sonic: It just needs a little love, Shadow.**

**(And now a cute weeb montage of preparing the café.)**

"That was the cutest montage ever!" Ruby said.

"Okay, these place looks nice." Yang said.

**Shadow: This... is... ultimate! Customers, I summon thee!**

"Café... owner... nah, it's too boring." Nora said.

**(Sonic does the first ding.)**

**Shadow: I wanted to do the first ding.**

**Sonic: Heck you.**

"Best insult ever." Yang said.

**(Someone entered the café.)**

**Sonic: Look, Shadow! It's our first customer! (It's Chunky Kong!)**

**Shadow: (Shadow goes to him to take his order.) Welcome. What can I get you?**

**Chunky: I'm noticing an extreme lack of bananas.**

"Oh my, he's a critic." Weiss said.

"I'm getting flashbacks." Blake said.

"Flashbacks?" Pyrrha said.

"You see, my father always wanted a family restaurant. He had it for a month, until a critic came..."

"What happened?" Ruby said.

"He found a thread on his food. My dad is a nice cook, but sometimes he forgets to check if his hair is on the food. And it was a shame, because everyone loved that place."

**Shadow: That's because we don't serve them.**

**Chunky: How ABSURD! I'm leaving a 1-star review-(Shadow slaps him.)**

Some of them laughed.

"He slapped him!" Yang said while laughing.

"My dad did almost the same thing. But instead he kicked him out after the incident with the hair." Blake said.

**Chunky: *growls and angry monkey noises***

**Shadow: *angry monkey noise* (He takes a plastic bag and puts it on Chungky's head to suffocate.)**

**[Technical problems]**

"What the hell?! He tried to suffocate him?!" Weiss said.

"_DK! Chunky's dead! DK! Chunky's dead!_" Nova sang.

**Sonic: So, how'd it go?**

**Shadow: I stopped him from breathing and stole his phone.**

"Now that's just mean." Yang said.

**Sonic: ... Hey, I've heard of him. He's one of those restaurant critics. Can I see that really quick? And... done!**

**(Thanks to the good critic, the café is full of customers. Sonic chuckles at his trick and Shadow is 0_0)**

"Food... critic... not that either." Nora said.

**(Sonic is zipping through the tables, taking orders.)**

**Sonic: What can I get you, man?**

**Waluigi: Anything that can fill the void...**

"He can't forget that he's not in Smash." Ruby said.

**Sonic: Sure. One assist sundae, coming up!**

"That's harsh." Jaune said.

**Sonic: Hey Shad, we've got a ton of orders. You ready to make them?**

**Shadow: I already did.**

**Sonic: Oh cool. How'd you do that?**

**Shadow: I stole the time stones.**

**Sonic: Put those back.**

"Time stones?" Ruby said.

"Stones that can manipulate time." Sonic said.

**Sonic: Welp, all the orders are filled! You seem happy.**

**Shadow: Heh, I poisoned them all.**

**Sonic: 0_0**

"What?" Ruby said.

**Mr Game and Watch: Uh oh, I don't feel so good. (Screams as he get's Thanos'd)**

**Waluigi: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA****AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA****-**

"Ow, my ears!" Blake said.

"They got Thanos'd!" Ruby said.

_**SEVERAL TEDIOUS TO EDIT DISINTEGRATIONS LATER...**_

**(The café was empty.)**

**Sonic: What is wrong with you?!**

**Shadow: It's what Maria would have wanted.**

"I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to kill people!" Weiss said.

**(The lights turn off.)**

**Maria: No, Shadow... What I want... is for you to join Smash.**

"To be fair, Shadow would've been a great playable character." Sonic said.

"What about me? Or Knuckles?" Tails said.

"You too!"

"Not only that! Knuckles is an assist trophy! I'm still not in!"

"Yeah, it's pretty bad. I imagine you fighting on your cool plane/car/walker!" Ruby said.

**[Transition]**

**(An assist trophy breaks, summoning Shadow. Sonic was in the toilet.)**

**Sonic: Yo, Shadow! Could you get me some toilet paper?**

Everyone was laughing.

"That was a great animation."

**Episode 2: Fresh Metal**

**[Cool intro]**

**(The episode starts in Emerald City where Sonic lives. We go to his house, where he's still sleeping. He wakes up.)**

**Sonic: *yawns* Huh, nice day today! (He jumps out of the bed, on his shoes. Of course he raises his socks and goes to make breakfast, where he sees Tails, getting a cup of coffee.) Heya, Tails.**

**Tails: Oh, good morning Sonic.**

**Sonic: Were you up late working on the biplane or something last night?**

**Tails: Well... I guess you could say that.**

_**FLASHBACK**_

**(Tails inserts the plug, and the Tornado starts dancing.)**

**Tails: Yes!**

Some of them laughed.

"That's amazing! A dancing plane!" Nora said.

"Is there anything you can't do?" Ruby said.

"Besides being a normal 8 year-old?" Yang said.

"There is nothing that I can't do. When it comes to machines, I'm an expert." Tails said.

"I think expert is a weak term." Blake said.

_**NOW**_

**(They both hear a strange noise.**

**Sonic: Wasn't me. (They see a suspicious box, making that noise.) Uh... Tails? What's in that box?**

**Tails: I don't know. It was on the porch this morning. (Sonic goes to open it, without knowing that Metal Sonic is hiding there for a sneak attack.) **

"He'll never suspect a thing!" Nora said.

"It's the most stupid and yet genius idea." Yang said.

**Sonic: Hand me the box cutter. (He cuts the tape with the cutter and somehow breaks Metal.)**

"What are these robots made of? Used soup cans?" Weiss said.

**Sonic: Huh, I guess Eggman sent Metal Sonic to attack us. Let's play with him!**

"Yeah, good idea." Blake said sarcastically.

**Tails: It's not a toy, Sonic.**

**Sonic: Unless we make him one...**

**(And the fun begins)**

"Okay, realistic Sonic is cursed." Ruby said.

**Tails: So, what should we change first?**

**Sonic: Well, of course he's gotta be super nice. Oh, and his belly should dispense chili dogs.**

**Tails: And mint candy too!**

**Sonic: Definitely! Gonna need some controller support.**

**Tails: And his ears should be able to play music!**

'I wonder if Penny can do that.'

**Sonic: And don't forget to equip him for the situation of Odie Arbuckle acquiring the Master Emerald. (Tails is like 'what?') Fine, *sigh* we can leave that one out.**

"Why Odie? Garfield is the true enemy." Nova said.

"Are you talking about the horror drawings?" Blake said.

"Yeah, they are amazing."

"Why did you reminded me that?! I still have nightmares!" Ruby said.

**(Tails boots up the program.)**

**M. Sonic: **_**Hello.**_

**S&T: (high five) Sweet!**

**Sonic: Hey Metal, can ya give me a chili dog?**

**M. Sonic: **_**Building chili dog... Completed.**_

**Sonic: It works!**

**Tails: Metal Sonic, play the music playlist, please.**

**M. Sonic: **_**Which playlist?**_

**Tails: Uh... how many do I have?**

**M. Sonic: **_**You have your playlist and you have Dr. Eggman's playlist.**_

**Sonic: Show us what Eggman listens to.**

"This will be fun." Yang said.

**(Metal plays the song and Sonic is laughing his ass off.)**

Everyone is laughing.

**(The scene changes to Eggman where he feels nervous.)**

They laugh even more.

"He can sense it! He can sense that they're making fun of his music!"

**Eggman: I've got the strangest feeling that someone's judging my musical tastes... (He gets a notification that he lost Metal's signal.) Connection lost? Yeesh, how bad did Sonic defeat him this time?**

**(Now follows a great friendship montage between Sonic, Tails and Metal.)**

"Aww, they're having a great time!" Ruby said. 'Can Penny eat ice cream?'

'Probably not.' a voice said in her head. It was Nova's.

'What?! How did-'

'I read your minds all the time.'

'Please don't tell anyone.'

'I won't.'

'Wait... all the time?'

'All the time. You know, for being underage, your sister is very grown.'

'Dude!'

'What are you guys talking about?' another voice said. Now it was Nora.

'What?! How did-'

'Don't worry, it's only for now. Hey, the room is huuuuuge! _ECHO!_'

'GET OUT OF MY HEAD!'

**(In the next scene, Eggman searches for Metal.)**

**Eggman: (in the trashcan) That's strange, I don't see Metal Sonic anywhere in their trashcan. (in the mailbox) Nope. (in the chimney) Nope. (in the girls' locker room) Nope.**

"Why would he search... this is stupid." Weiss said.

**Eggman: (He finds Metal in Sonic's house.) Metal! I've been looking everywhere for you! Wh- what are you doing here? Did... you defeat Sonic and... take over his house?**

**M. Sonic: **_**No doctor. I have been reprogrammed to be a nice friend.**_

**Eggman: Nice? Friend?! (He breaks the window and grabs Metal Sonic.)**

"He's pissed." Yang said.

**Eggman: (He presses the emergency restore button.) He nerve of that sneaky little fox to ruin my work!**

**Sonic: What's going on?!**

**(Now Metal Sonic is evil again and is ready to fight Sonic and Tails.)**

"Finally an action scene." Sonic said.

**(Metal prepares his laser. But Sonic does a homing attack, defeating him again.)**

"Oh come on!" Yang said, laughing a little.

**Sonic: Oh. (Eggman yoinks Metal and tries to run away.) Not so fast, Egghead! We wanna use Metal Sonic for one more thing.**

**(In the next scene, Sonic uses Metal's controller support and sents him to Amy's house.)**

**Tails: Why are you sending him to Amy's house?**

"What is he going to do?" Ruby said.

"A sick prank."

**Sonic: Heh heh, she doesn't have her contacts in today.**

"Thais is going to be great."

"Where do they get their eye contacts? Are there giant one-eyed ones?" Nora said.

**(Metal rings the doorbell and Amy opens the door.)**

"Aww, she's drawn very cute!" Ruby said.

**Amy: Sonic, is that you? (Runs to hug him) Wow, you almost never come to my house! (Realises that something is wrong) Have you been working ou- Metal Sonic?! (He runs away)**

**M. Sonic: **_**YOU'VE BEEN METAL SONIC'D. **_**(She starts chasing him.)**

**Amy: Get back here, you blue sack of bolts!**

Everyone was laughing.

"You've been Metal Sonic'd! That was gold!" Sonic said.

**Tails: Nice air dodge!**

**Sonic: Thanks.**

"That was amazing!" Ruby said.

**And done! Like, follow, review, PM, blah blah blah, read Nova Force. See you soon!**


	69. DevilArtemis compilation 2

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 66: DevilArtemis compilation #2 (Sonic)**

"Can you put Nazo now?" Ruby said.

"When the pizzas are ready." Nova said.

"When will the pizzas be ready?"

"I think in about... 10 minutes."

"10 minutes? We ordered 9." Blake said.

"He has a lot of stoves. Until then... I don't know, let's watch DevilArtemis again."

"Please don't play Ugandan Knuckles." Sonic said.

"Ugh, fine..."

**Cell vs Sonic**

**Cell: Okay, where the fuck am I? This doesn't even look like Earth.**

**Sonic: Now hold on! I know what you're thinking. What's a big, dumb, green guy like me doing at a place like this? Well, my friend, you just stepped into the wrong neighborhood! Send Eggman my regards!**

**Knuckles: Sonic, leave him alone.**

**Sonic: SUCK MY DICK, KNUCKLES!**

"Why would you say that?" Yang said, while laughing a little.

**Sonic: This guy is working for Eggman. I can tell just by the way he looks!**

**Cell: Woooow.**

**Knuckles: Oh my god.**

"Don't tell me he got offended by that." Weiss said.

**Sonic: What?**

**Cell: Did you just racially profile me?**

"He doesn't even have a race!"

"To be fair, he has a lot of races." Ren said.

**Knuckles: Jesus, Sonic it's 2018, man!**

**Cell: I know, right? My god!**

**Sonic: Wait, what? It-it wasn't even like that! It's... that's not what I meant! Come on, man!**

**Cell: You fucking racist!**

**Sonic: Listen dude-**

**Cell: Wow, did you just assume my gender?! (& Knuckles:) Wooooooooow!**

"Do people from Earth get offended that easily?!" Weiss said.

"They get offended by everything." Nova said.

"Aren't they overreacting a bit?" Pyrrha said.

"They are, but they don't understand. But now, free expression is a crime against humanity and they will punish you on Twitter. Even though transexuals are a crime against humanity."

"Man, they need to grow some balls." Yang said.

"Is changing your gender really a crime?" Ruby said.

"It's what they are, and they want to change it! Their action says in a way that my Father does mistakes. He _never_ does mistakes." Nova said.

**Cell vs Shadow and Sonic part 1**

**(Sonic arrives at the arena)**

**Sonic: Come on, man! Step it up!**

**Cell: That's it! I think I've had enough of these STUPID characters in my arena!**

**Sonic: Hey, no need to be rude, man!**

"You racially profiled him in the last video."

**Cell: Oh, shut up! (He launches a blast at Sonic. He avoids it by jumping on a mountain and jumping at him, landing a fast attack.) What the hell?!**

**Sonic: You're too slow.**

"I believe Cell is faster." Ruby said.

"Yeah, to be fair most of them are faster." Tails said.

"Even you, Tails?!" Sonic said.

**Cell: Im slow? Ha ha ha ha ha! (He then appears behind Sonic.) BEGONE THOT! (Blasts him) Wait a minute... where's his body? (Shadow saved him just in time.)**

**Shadow: How pathetic.**

"Why does he look different?" Weiss said.

"That's Boom Shadow. I guess he didn't find his 3D model." Jaune said.

**Sonic: Thanks Shadow!**

**Shadow: There's only room for one ultimate life-form.**

**Cell: Then stop talking and come take me on.**

**Shadow: Sonic, let's do it.**

**Sonic: You got it! Let's go! (They both use the emeralds to transform.)**

**Cell: I've had enough of this shit. (He shoots a Kamehameha, but they both fly through it like it's nothing. Sonic lands a punch that sends Cell to space.)**

"Is that form that powerful?" Yang said.

"The super form is way more powerful than people think. It's literally invincible." Sonic said.

**Cell: What the-?! (Shadow appears in front of him.)**

**Shadow: Chaos... BLAST! (It causes a huge explosion and Sonic is like 'yeah'.)**

"I always forget that except for stupid stuff, he also does cool stuff." Jaune said.

**Cell vs Shadow and Sonic part 2**

**(Cell gets back up, even though he blew up in space.)**

**Cell: That blasted hedgehog! Who would have thought that these two dimwits would give me a hard time?! I'm the perfect being! That should be happening!**

"That's a better model for Shadow." Ruby said.

**Shadow: I already told you. There's only room for one perfect being in this world. And that's me.**

**Cell: We'll see about that! (He appears behind him.) Bitch! (He slaps him, breaking his legs(?).)**

Everyone was laughing.

**Shadow: (grunting) Sonic... go save yourself...**

"YES! He broke his legs! With a slap!" Nora said while laughing.

**Sonic: You know I can't do that, Shadow! CHAOS CONTROL!**

**Cell: Wait, Chaos what?! (He uses the emeralds to teleport him to a Call of Duty zombie map.)**

"What is that place?!" Weiss said.

"The zombie map from Call of Duty." Nova said.

**Cell: Oh, you have got to be fucking me.**

**Zarbon: Say no more.**

Everyone laughed.

"Not Zarbon!" Ruby said.

**Cell vs Shadow and Sonic part 3**

**Cell: Hahahaha! He really thought a stupid emerald could help him? It seems you're all by yourself now. Your little buddy Sonic is nowhere to be found.**

**Shadow: You think I need that moron to defeat you? I have more than enough power to take you down. **

"No, you don't. I think he took the emeralds with him."

**Cell: Perhaps in my base form.**

**Shadow: What?!**

"Yeah, exactly. What?!" Yang said.

**(Cell goes Ultra Instinct.)**

"He knows Ultra Instinct?! How?!"

"It's a long five-part story, involving Shaggy and El Hermano." Nova said.

"Please stop, this sentence hurts my brain." Weiss said.

**Shadow: What form of power is this?!**

**Cell: Now prepare yourself. (He raises his hand to his face.) Begone thot! (He destroys Shadow.)**

"Wait, he killed him or destroyed him?" Ruby said.

**Cell: Far too easy. Huh?... What's this? (He picks from the ground Shadow's Smash invitation.) Oh, an invitation. Bwuhaha! Well, it's not like he's going to be using it, so why not. (He starts laughing.)**

"Smash Bros invitation?! Noooo! I wanted Shadow to be in it!"

"We all wanted." Yang said.

**Cell vs Knuckles**

**Cell: (thinking) Alright, time to check my to-do list. Blackmail Kermit with nudes: Check.**

"Best friends, guys." Jaune said.

**Cell: (thinking) Bang Son Goku's wife for the 12th time this week: (chuckles) Check.**

"That chuckle." Yang said.

**Cell: (thinking) Get rid off Gohan's... corpse? (He turns around to see Gohan's corpse.) Heh.**

"Wait, he killed Gohan?" Ruby said.

"Who cares at this point?" Nova said.

**Knuckles: Yo!**

**Cell: Oh, for fuck's sake! Not you again!**

"He confused him for Ugandan Knuckles?" Yang said.

**Knuckles: Relax, man, I'm not here to fight, I'm just looking for directions. I'm looking for Bulma Briefs. Just a little lost. So I could use a pointing in the right direction.**

"I still can't believe her name is Briefs." Blake said.

"Also what business does he have with her?" Weiss said.

"Probably to bang her." Yang said.

"What the hell, Yang?!"

"What? Do you expect anything else from these videos?"

"I... well... you have a point."

**Cell: So you don't have Ebola?**

**Knuckles: What... what the fuck... what does Ebola has to do anything with the... you know what, nevermind. I just need directions.**

**Cell: So you're not here to fight? Or click?**

**Knuckles: What? No.**

**Cell: Finally! A day off! Sure, no problem. Bulma lives in West City.**

**Knuckles: West City, huh? Heh ha! Hey, by any chance... do you know the way?**

_***record scratch***_

**(Cell is angry.)**

Some of them were laughing.

"His eye is twitching!" Yang said while laughing.

"Alright, now the next videos are collabs." Nova said.

**Super Sonic Bros Episode 1**

**[Sega logo]**

**Tails: You guys have pretty much hated each other in every game. And now, you're bros.**

**Sonic: Hate is such a strong word.**

**Shadow: Just a little friendly rivalry.**

"Nowadays it's not that much of a rivalry. He probably doesn't even care." Sonic said.

**(They hear Knuckles crying.)**

**Knuckles: That was my job before you came along!**

"Man, rivalries do feel like relationships." Yang said.

**Shadow: What can I say? I'm the coolest.**

**Sonic: We do make a good duo.**

**Shadow: Right back at you, Sonic.**

**(Careless Whisper starts playing.)**

"This is getting weird." Ruby said.

"No, not Sonadow!" Sonic said.

**Sonic: Imagine if SEGA made a game starring me and my greatest rival!**

"I think Blaze is a better rival." Nova said.

**Knuckles: Yeah, it's not like we didn't have a whole game together or anything!**

**Sonic: 0_0**

"Yeah and it's one of the best." Sonic said.

**Tails: What about me, huh? I was Sonic 2 before you guys even created. I'm Sonic's original best buddy.**

"It is true." Tails said.

"And you still are, buddy."

**Sonic: Heh heh! That's adorable.**

**Mario: A-not so fast-a! (It's Mario and Luigi, oh shit!)**

"Wait, what?" Ruby said.

"Did they have to do a crotch shot?" Jaune said.

**Sonic: Well, if it isn't the Super Loser Bros!**

**Mario: What do you think you're doing here? Nintendo has not informed me of any new crossover games!**

**Shadow: We're taking over this land, plumber.**

"But this is Green Hill." Ruby said.

**Sonic: Yeah! We're the Super Sonic Bros now! We should take some selfies, Shads. Make it look legit.**

"Did he just call him Shads?" Yang sais.

**Tails: Did he just call him Shads?**

**Mario: You can't copy-a Super Mario Bros brand!**

**Luigi: Ehh, Mario? They just did.**

"Why is he so scared?" Weiss said.

**Mario: Shut up-a, Luigi!**

**Shadow: You know, your brother is right. Even though he's irrelevant. **

**Luigi: *sad noise***

"Aww... must be hard being number two." Ruby said.

"It's okay, sis. I still love you, even though I'm cooler than you." Yang said.

"Thank- HEY!"

"Kidding! Besides, you're the leader. You're basically overshadowing us."

"Ha! It's going to take a lot of effort to overshadow me." Weiss said.

"Shut up, Ice Queen. Speak when you win a fight."

"What?!". Everyone else was like 'OHHHHHHH!'. "I have won a lot of fights!"

"What about against the White Fang Lieutenant?" Blake said.

"Okay, that was one fight."

"He had a chainsaw! Just a chainsaw!"

"Anyway, I have won a lot of fights!"

"The Grimm don't count. Neither the gym class spar sessions. We mean important fights."

"That's not fair!"

"And you were complaining about Ruby being the leader." Yang said.

"Shut up! And you! Don't talk like you're any better, miss "Joestar secret technique"!"

"Ooooooh..." most of them said.

"Take that back, right now!" Blake said, who was ready to start a fight.

"What's that technique she said?" Pyrrha whispered.

"Running away." Jaune whispered back.

"Ooh, that was mean."

"This is a lot of drama, Tails." Sonic whispered.

"I hope it ends well." Tails whispered back.

"Girls, stop! You are teammates! As your leader, I demand you two to stop and apologize!" Ruby said. The girls looked at each other.

"... I'm sorry. I went too far." Weiss said.

"Me too. I shouldn't make you feel useless." Blake said.

"Come on, hug each other!" Nora said. Of course they hugged and everyone was like 'Awww...'.

"Now sniff her a little." Nova said to broke the ice, ruining the moment. Everyone started laughing.

"Fuck you." Blake said, both she and Weiss blushing.

**Knuckles: I know how he feels.**

"Oh come on, don't make this gay!" Jaune said.

**Knuckles: You... cute, Italian man with a moustache. Luigi... you're more than just a green Mario...**

**Luigi: Where have you been all my life...?**

**Knuckles: We'll have our own series... Knuckles & Luigi...**

"Who would play that game?" Yang said.

**Eggman: What's with all this racket?!**

**Sonic: Eggface! Just in time! Want to be the villain for our upcoming game?**

**Eggman: What's it called?**

**Sonic: The Super Sonic Bros!**

**Shadow: Starring me.**

**Sonic: Yeah,... he's my Luigi.**

**Tails: I could be your Luigi.**

**Sonic: Aww, kiddo. You'll always be my best buddy. But, you're just... not a Luigi.**

"I'm way better than Luigi!" Tails said.

**Eggman: FOOOOLS! If anyone should be Sonic's Luigi, it's me! I've known him longer than all of you!**

"Yeah, he's the villain." Ruby said.

_***record scratch***_

**Sonic: Egghead... I never knew you cared...**

**Eggman: I've always cared.**

**(Careless Whisper plays again)**

"No, that's worse!"

**Tails: Oh, come on!**

"That was a crazy and sexually confusing video." Blake said.

**Super Sonic Bros Episode 2**

**[Sega logo]**

**Bowser: *evil laughter* The princess is mine, Mari-... huh? (It's Sonic. And he has the emeralds.)**

"Bowser done goofed." Nora said.

**Bowser: Hey... Now wait just a minute! (Sonic transforms.) WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! (In the next scene he's on fire.)**

**Sonic: You're safe now, princess.**

**Peach: Oh, thank you, Sonic! (She tries to give him a kiss.)**

**Amy: OHHH HECK NO! (She uses the emeralds too.)**

"Peach will die!" Ruby said.

**Peach: Hold on, just a second! W-W-W-WAI-! (In the next scene she's on fire. Amy is angry AF and Sonic got his mood ruined.)**

"I can do worse! I just need to get hit by lightning." Nora said. Then Nova gets a notification.

"The pizzas are ready." he said and then left. Seconds later, he came back with the pizzas. "It's pizza time."

_(JoJo references: 28)_

**And done! Like, follow, review, sent a PM if you want and read the Nova Force. See you soon!**


	70. Nazo Unleashed DX

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 67: Sonic Nazo Unleashed DX**

"I can't wait! We are actually going to eat authentic Italian pizza!" Ruby said.

"It can't be that different. Right?" Weiss said.

"You have no idea. Now we can start Nazo." Nova said.

**[Intro of remastered version]**

Everyone took a bite. And they were enjoying every chewing. Especially Blake. She was wiggling in excitement. "Okay, I was wrong, it's delicious!" Weiss said.

"It's literally the best thing I've ever eaten in my life! So tasty and the tuna is fresh!" Blake said.

"The steak is grilled! It's perfect!" Nora said.

"Aww man, I should've ordered steak too!" Yang said.

"So many... so many cheeses!" Ruby said.

"I never want this experience to end!" Jaune said.

"Heck, I bet even Pyrrha's pizza is great!" Yang said.

"The chef probably suffered a lot of heart attacks to make it." Nova said.

"Shut up, okay? You say that because you probably never tried." Pyrrha said.

"I ate once. I was filled with disappointment."

"Has your girlfriend eaten that kind of pizza?" Yang said.

"The exact same as Blake's. Her reaction was more... hot."

"Can we continue the movie now? I want to see it." Sonic said.

**Knuckles: As far back as I can remember, I've been living here on this dark island. Always guarding the Master Emerald, from anything that could harm it. I don't know why I was given this job, why it was my fate. Destined to be here... forever.**

"Wow, how old is it?" Jaune said.

"It closed 10 years this year." Nova said.

"That's amazing!" Ruby said?

**(Dark clouds cover the sun. One of the Chaos Emeralds starts shaking. Out of it, came a shadow. It then took a form. Knuckles turns around to see.)**

**Knuckles: Hey, who are you? (The shadowy figure was standing on the Master Emerald. The figure was revealed to be a light-blue hedgehog.(I don't know what shade of blue he is.))**

"Why does he look like you?" Ruby said.

"It was supposed to be Super Sonic for Sonic X but it was scrapped." Sonic said.

"Too bad, he looks cool."

**Nazo: Hmph. (He disappears, using Chaos Control, along with the emeralds.)**

**Knuckles: What the...? (The island starts shaking.) Oh no, it's starting to happen! Without the Master Emerald's power, this whole island will fall into the ocean! (The island fall into a deserted area.)**

"It fell into the ground, not the ocean." Blake said.

"That's probably the best he could do with these voice clips." Jaune said.

_**Downtown Metropolis 11:37**_

"Why? Why Comic Sans?" Weiss said.

**(Inside the city, Nazo just finished robbing a jewelry store. He flies up, holding the Chaos Emerald he stole.)**

**Nazo: Chaos Emerald, captured! (He charges a red ki blast and shoots it at the city, destroying it completely.)**

"He destroyed a city?!" Ruby said.

"Already? Not even two minutes passed!" Weiss said.

"Do you have to point every negative thing? Who are you, the Nostalgia Critic?" Yang said.

"Shut up. That's just how I am."

**Reporter: **_**What you see here is what's left of Downtown Metropolis, after a massive explosion in Gotha city. Right before the explosion took place, a distress call from a jewelry store claiming a monster resembling that of a hedgehog, had stolen the Chaos Emerald, and broken out of the store. Moments later, a red light filled the sky, and the city was demolished. Reports have confirmed that the being is not Sonic the Hedgehog, as not to make the same mistake again. The mysterious hedgehog was last seen heading southbound toward the badlands of South Island.**_** (It switches to another person, obviously Shadow, listening to the broadcast.) **_**The president has announced, the planet's force to combat the alien is our beloved hero, Sonic the Hedgehog.**_

**Shadow: "Sonic"... Why does that name... bother me so much?**

"Okay, there are already some flaws. First of all, if the city got destroyed and everyone died, who recorded that video? Second, how did they got that distress call? The city got destroyed, along with any records. There's no way they would have found it." Blake said.

"Come on, don't ruin it. He tried." Yang said.

"Also, if people knew about the Chaos Emeralds, why was one of them in a jewelry store? Shouldn't the government have it?" Tails said.

"Even you, Tails?! You're in the video! Right?" Ruby said.

"Yeah, but it has its flaws."

"Also, voice acting. If it has original voice acting, why did he use voice clips from the games? He could've hired the guys from the shorts." Ren said.

"I feel like we just destroyed the childhood of a lot of people." Jaune said.

**(The scene changes to Tails, flying. Then Knuckles appears gliding next to him.)**

**Knuckles: Hey, isn't that...?**

**Tails: SONIC!**

**(Sonic was running through the desert, having fun. Tails and Knuckles approach him.)**

**Sonic: Yo, Tails! Long time, no see! (Tails explains to him about the mysterious hedgehog... through speech bubbles.) Alright! Let's go! (He grabs Tails and Knuckles and runs to their destination, wherever that is, with sonic speed. (Yeah,**_** sanik speeed!))**_

"He just grabs them and runs." Yang said, laughing a little.

"How can they handle that kind of speed? It should probably tore them apart." Pyrrha said.

"That's way too fast." Ruby said.

"Sanik speed!" Nora said.

**(In the next scene they stop.)**

**Knuckles: I can sense that the emeralds are here somewhere...**

**Tails: (He sees the emeralds.) The emeralds! **

"I think one emerald is missing." Ruby said.

**Sonic: Yes! Huh? What's up?**

**Knuckles: I feel some strange energy...**

"Does Knuckles feel a little... different?" Jaune said.

"Like wiser?" Blake said.

**(Nazo appears.)**

**Knuckles: It's that creature again! The same one I saw on my island. He saved me the trouble of looking for him. Now I'll get him good!**

"Finally, some fighting!" Yang said.

"Only 5 minutes passed."

**Knuckles: (He jumps high.) Hmph. I'll take care of him myself. (He performs a drill dive. Nazo wonders what he's doing. He sees the ground is changing in front of him. Knuckles jumps out and delivers a strong uppercut on his chin.)**

"We are starting strong!" Yang said.

**(Knuckles sees that his attack, didn't affect him that much. Nazo then heals his injury.)**

"That's cheating! Stupid regeneration powers." Nora said.

"That crack was painful just by hearing it." Weiss said.

**Knuckles: Man, he's tough! Hmph. I'm just warming up! (He powers up for his next attack.)**

"Is this Dragon Ball? He powers up!" Yang said.

"Well, technically. But he can do that." Sonic said.

**(Now that he powered up, he charges at Nazo.)**

**Knuckles: LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT!**

**Nazo: Hmph. (He then smacks the shit out of Knuckles, sending him crash to a rock.)**

"Holy shit!" Yang said.

"Well, we did saw him shoot blasts enough to destroy a big city. It was actually predictable." Nova said.

"But it's still shocking." Ruby said.

**(Sonic doesn't take that well.)**

**Nazo: How pathetic. Now for you. (He shoots a blast at Sonic, but he kicks it back like a ball. Nazo jumps over the blast which explodes behind him. He shoots more blasts, which Sonic avoids with no effort, basically mocking him.) How fast is this hedgehog?! (Sonic jumps on his head and avoids him again.)**

**Sonic: Catch me if you can!**

**Nazo: Rgh... CHAOS CONTROL!**

**Sonic: HE CAN USE CHAOS CONTROL! (Nazo teleports over him and stomps him, sending him crash down. He then charges another blast.)**

**Nazo: DIE! (He shoots the blast.)**

**Tails: STOOOP!**

"How will he escape this?!"

**(At the last second, a flash teleports him away before the blast could hit him.)**

"What was that flash?" Pyrrha said.

"*gasp* It's Shadow!"

"It was about time." Yang said.

**Nazo: What? (Shadow then revealed himself.)**

"Heck yeah, his theme song!" Ruby said.

**Sonic: What took you so long?**

**Shadow: You know, I didn't come to save you... I came for the Chaos Emeralds. (Nazo descends to see this new hedgehog.) So you're the one behind all this, huh?**

**Nazo: Who are you? (Shadow chuckles at his question.)**

**Shadow: You don't know what you're up against. I'm the ultimate life-form! (He Chaos Controls again.)**

**Nazo: Damn... (Shadow appears in front of him.)**

**Shadow: Heh. (He teleports behind him to avoid Nazo's punch and jumps high. Nazo shoots a blast and Shadow throws a Chaos Spear, resulting in an explosion. Shadow teleports behind him again and... aims a gun at his head.) Are you ready to admit your own foolishness?**

That part made them laugh a little.

"Oh shit, he's packing heat!" Nora said.

"Are you kidding me? He can shoot energy blasts... and he pulls a normal gun?" Weiss said.

"To be honest, I've never seen him with a gun since Dark Doom came." Sonic said.

**Tails: Cool!**

**Sonic: (thinking) You must be kidding!**

**Nazo: Hmph. (He elbows Shadow, sending him crash to a rock.)**

"What did he expect?" Blake said.

**(The damn last Chaos Emerald fell next to the others. Now Nazo had them all.)**

"He has all the emeralds now! What is he going to do?" Ruby said.

**Nazo: This is the ultimate life-form? HA! Alright, now that that's done... (He aims another blast at Sonic. He could've avoid it, but he stands there, waiting to get hit.)**

"Get out of there, you can avoid it!" Sonic said to himself.

"When you yell at yourself." Yang said.

**(But Nazo gets hit by another blast from behind. It was Tails.)**

"You have an arm cannon?! That's so cool!" Ruby said.

"Thanks." Tails said.

"But it did nothing." Blake said.

"I guess we have our first death." Jaune said.

"Oh no!" Ruby said.

**Nazo: Ugh! You pest! (The injury is healed now. He teleports behind Tails and raises his hand at his face, ready to blast him point blank.)**

**Sonic: Tails!**

**Tails: Soni- (He gets blasted by Nazo's energy wave.)**

Everyone gasped in shock.

"Tails, you died." Sonic said.

"I guess I died." Tails said.

"Why aren't you traumatized after watching yourself die?!" Pyrrha said.

"I saw it a lot of times. Besides, I'm not dead."

"Uh... that kind of attack should turn you into dust." Yang said?

**(Sonic was shock. He watched Tails die. He fell on his knees.)**

**Sonic: NOOO! (The emeralds started shining.) (thinking) Knuckles... Shadow... Tails...**

**Nazo: You have wasted enough of my time, Sonic. (Then Sonic turns dark along with the Chaos Emeralds.)**

"What?!" Ruby said.

"He turned dark?!" Jaune said.

"Oh yeah... I hate that form." Sonic said.

**Sonic: You bastard!**

**Nazo: What's this? (It's Dark Sonic.)**

"But it looks cool." Yang said.

**Nazo: This is not what I expected... (He shoots a blast, but Sonic deflects it easily.) Impossible! (He rushes at Sonic to attack. Sonic catches his fist and counters with a punch to the face, sending him away. But he calms down, remembering Tails. He reverts to his base form. He will do this the right way.)**

"Kids, prepare for the best transformation scene ever." Sonic said.

"Why are you calling us kids? We are older than you." Blake said.

"You are the same age as me." Ruby said.

**(Sonic uses the Chaos Emeralds to transform. He focuses, the emeralds float around him. He then screams to the sky, performing an exploding transformation. Meanwhile Shadow wakes up. There he was... Super Sonic.)**

"Woah." Yang said.

"I watched so many times and it gives me chills." Tails said.

**(In the next scene, we see Nazo getting up from the hit.)**

**Nazo: Rrrgh... (He teleports back to the fight.) Hm? (He sees Super Sonic.) Oh yes. Super Sonic if I recall. If you actually believe your super form can stop me, then you are more naive than I thought.**

**Sonic: Ha. (He disappears and headbutts Nazo. He follows himand unleashes a barrage of punches before kicking him up.)**

"Okay, for a fan animation this is amazing." Yang said.

"Even though probably half of it is tracing." Jaune said.

**(Sonic spindashes to a cliff that works as a ramp and kicks Nazo in the back. He flies over him amd spikes him down. Nazo though lands on his feet. Sonic then prepares his attack.) Super Sonic Wind! (Nazo avoids it, seeing that the attack cut clean the rock behind him.) **

"You have an attack like that?" Ruby said.

"No." Sonic said.

**Nazo: CHAOS TORRENT! (Nazo unleashes his attack, but Sonic counters it with a Sonic Storm. Sonic sees Nazo coming right at him. They continue their fight, with Nazo kicking him back, but Sonic recovers.)**

"You were right about tracing." Weiss said.

"Eh, it's okay." Ruby said.

**Sonic: Ha. Not bad, not bad at all. (He powers up.)**

**Nazo: I'll send you to hell! (He powers up too. They both clash. They try to push back each other. They break it aand start exchanging fast attacks, moving at high speeds. Nazo manages to counter with a punch to the gut, making Sonic cough blood.)**

Everyone cringed at that.

"That was a critical." Yang said.

**(Nazo takes the chance and hammers him to the ground. Sonic was out of rings so he reverted back to his base form.)**

**Sonic: Ugh...**

"That soon?! Come on!" Nora said.

"I must've been out of rings." Sonic said.

**(Shadow gets the chance for a sneak attack, but Nazo smacks him down.)**

"Nice try." Blake said.

**(Nazo is satisfied, but his smirk fied when he saw something different. Sparks were flashing. He could hear Shadow laughing evilly.)**

"Man, his laugh is so evil. I like it when heroes laugh like villains." Yang said.

**Shadow: Playtime is over... (The sky turns red.) Time to step it up. (The ground is shaking, debris is floating.)**

**Nazo: Rgh. What is this? (Shadow flies up, powering up.)**

**Shadow: I warned you, didn't I? I'm the ultimate life-form, Shadow the Hedgehog! (He transforms to Super Shadow.)**

"Yeah, Shadow turned super!" Ruby said.

"But why is he golden and not silver?" Weiss said.

**Shadow: (Sees Sonic who wasn't in a condition to fight.) Hmph. Looks like this one's for me.**

**Nazo: Super Shadow? How redundant.**

**Shadow: Hmph. You have no idea what you're up against. (Shadow teleported and tackled Nazo and starts punching him in the face, ending it by hammering him down.) CHAOS CONTROL! (He teleports in front of Nazo before he touches the ground and continues punching him.)**

"Yeah! Punch in the dick!" Yang said.

**(Shadow kicks him back further and continues his rush attacks, ending it by kicking him up. Nazo though manages to recover.)**

**Nazo: THAT'S IT! (He avoids Shadow's punch and catches his arm.) Got him. (He Dragon Throws him to a rock. But Shadow was still cocky.)**

**Shadow: I wasn't even trying. (He powers up.) This is the ultimate power! (He shoots a barrage of Chaos Spears. Nazo flies through them with no problem.)**

**(Back to Sonic, where he's running around collecting rings.)**

**Sonic: Yeah! 200 rings!**

"Wait, he's fine? But a minute ago, he couldn't even get up." Pyrrha said.

"And he's running around collecting rings?" Weiss said.

"I need rings to keep my super form. One ring equals one second." Sonic said.

**(Sonic sees the shockwaves, made by Shadow and Nazo's attacks.)**

**Sonic: Heh heh. **

**(Shadow and Nazo continue their fight. Shadow though gets distracted. Nazo avoids his not focused attacks and kicks him down. Shadow manages to land on his feet. Nazo then raises his hand to the sky **

**Shadow: What? (Nazo prepares his Death Ball kind-of attack.)**

**Sonic: Talk about humongous! (Nazo throws his blast, causing a massive explosion. Shadow teleports behind him and hammers him down.)**

"He should've expected that!" Weiss said.

**(Shadow powers up for his special attack. The sky becomes dark. Sparks are flashing.)**

"Don't tell that he will do Final Flash." Yang said.

**Shadow: You're going straight to hell. (He shoots a barrage of blue small ki blasts.) CHAOS... (He charges up.) SPEAR! (He throws the biggest Chaos Spear at the explosion, creating a bigger, green explosion.)**

"That was amazing! He was like _PEW PEW PEW PEW_! And then _Chaos Spear_! And then _BWOOOM_!" Ruby said.

**(Nazo comes out of the debris, injured and pissed, but he heals his injuries.)**

"What?! He should've died by that!" Jaune said.

**Sonic: Now it's time to get serious! (He then turns into Super Sonic and flies to the fight.)**

"That was a weird sound clip." Yang said.

**(Seeing that his attack didn't destroy him, Shadow was getting angry.)**

**Sonic: Shadow! Chill out! (Shadow relaxes and breaks the rings boxes that Sonic threw at him.)**

**Shadow: Getting serious, eh?**

**Sonic: Come on! This is nothing!**

**Shadow: Hmph. He doesn't give up, does he?**

**Sonic: Hey, what if we use light speed attack?**

"Light speed? You can achieve light speed?" Pyrrha said.

"Uh huh. Watch." Sonic said.

**Shadow: Hm hm hm. You never cease to surprise me... (They charge their attacks.)**

**Nazo: What now? (They were ready.)**

**Shadow: Shall we get going?**

**Sonic: Blast away! (They start flying at light speed, shocking Nazo.)**

**Nazo: What's happening?! I can't even follow their movements!**

**Sonic: Check out my speed now!**

**Shadow: Just watch this! (Sonic goes first and kicks Nazo, sending him flying back.)**

**Sonic: Too easy!**

"Why is your hand drawn like that?!" Weiss said.

"It's like you broke your fingers!" Ruby said.

**(He follows him and hammers him down.)**

"I don't know why, but it looks like you hit him with your dick!" Yang said while laughing.

"You're right! Now I can't unsee that!" Blake said. Then everyone else started laughing.

"Expand dong." Nova said.

**(He follows him again and kicks him away. Now Shadow follows him and hits Nazo back. He then headbutts him up. Then Sonic comes and kicks him higher.)**

**Shadow: Here we go! (He stomps Nazo down. Sonic goes under him and kicks him up, back to Shadow who kicks him down again.)**

"You turned him into a pinball!" Jaune said.

**(They keep hitting him around like a pinball, ending their combo by kicking him at the same time, sending him crash through a rock. In the meantime, Knuckles finally wakes up.)**

"Great, Knuckles is fine!" Ruby said.

**Knuckles: Where am I? (He then sees Tails.) Tails!**

"He looks bad." Pyrrha said.

"Yeah, all these red crayon lines look bad." Blake said.

**(Knuckles heals Tails.)**

"Knuckles can heal people?" Ruby said.

"Probably not." Sonic said.

**(Tails wakes up.)**

**Tails: Knuckles!**

**Knuckles: That's the spirit, Tails!**

**Tails: There's Sonic!**

**Knuckles: Alright!**

**(Back to the fight, Sonic gives a strong punch in the face and Shadow blasts Nazo away.)**

**Shadow: Huh. Sonic!**

**Sonic: Got it! (He flies up, out of the Earth.)**

"What is he doing?" Weiss said.

"Oh, he's going to do that move from One Minute Melee!" Jaune said.

"What?" Yang said.

"One minute fights. Like Death Battle, but no research."

"I've stopped watching Death Battle. They don't do correct research."

"Yeah, especially after Green Lantern vs Ben 10." Ruby said.

"Also, Jotaro lost! Why?" Yang said, getting a little sad.

"Imagine if we were in Death Battle." Ruby said.

"You do realise that the fighters they choose are way more powerful, right? Probably, only Yang would win one." Nova said.

"Against who?" Weiss said.

"I don't know... Bakugo?"

"Nah, Bakugo is way better." Ruby said.

"What?! Ruby!" Yang said.

"What? He managed to survive against All Might! For a couple of minutes, but he did."

"I can't believe that you think that I would lose!"

**Sonic: You're finished! (He spindashes down to Earth like a golden comet. Nazo recovers and prepares a blast at Shadow. Shadow points him to look up.**

**Nazo: Hmm? (Sonic hits him with an axe kick, sending him down, causing an impact, visible from outer space.)**

Most of them was left with gaping mouths.

"Amazing, right?" Sonic said.

"Holy shit..." Weiss said.

"How much force did he put on his kick... to cause this...?" Pyrrha said.

**Sonic: *whistle* That was tight!**

**Shadow: Perfect as always. (They get an A-rank.)**

"Shouldn't they get an S-rank?" Ruby said.

**(They teleport to the crater Sonic created.)**

**Sonic: He's gone! **

"He's still alive?! After that?!" Weiss said.

**Tails: Sonic! (Sonic sees his friends flying towards him and reverts back to his base form.)**

**Sonic: (tearing) Tails... Knuckles... (They are all happy and celebrate, while Shadow reverts also to normal and smiles at their sillyness.)**

"Aww, that a sweet moment!" Ruby said.

**Sonic: Heh heh. (His ear twitches. He senses something. Nazo is fine and snatches the emeralds really fast and flees away.)**

"He stole the emeralds!"

"He's already fine? Not even a minute passed! That hit should've caused him brain damage." Blake said.

**Tails: HE'S GOT THE EMERALDS!**

**Sonic: WHAT?! (Angel Island starts ascending to the sky.)**

"Wait, he returned the Master Emerald to the altar. Why would he steal it in the first place? He could've just steal only the Chaos Emeralds, go to the island, kill Knuckles and accomplish his plan, whatever that is." Weiss said.

"That's a good point." Tails said.

**Knuckles: What's next?**

**Tails: Now what do we do?**

**Shadow: We have to get him, no matter what. Alright?**

**Sonic: Okay then... Let's get ready to do this. We'll show that creep the REAL POWER OF CHAOS CONTROL!**

"Don't you mean friendship?" Ruby said.

**Knuckles: Okay!**

**Tails: I'm ready! (They all come close and Shadow teleports them all to Angel Island.)**

**(In the next scene, they teleported on Angel Island.)**

**Sonic: Angel Island. What a peaceful place!**

**Shadow: No time for messing around.**

**Knuckles: Sonic! (They see Nazo standing on the Master Emerald.)**

**Sonic: NAZO!**

"Nice editing." Blake said.

"Come on, don't be mean." Ruby said.

**Nazo: You're too late, Sonic! I have all the emeralds and the altar. With these elements, I will annihilate this planet!**

"But why?"

**Nazo: I am pure chaos! **

"Did he look different when the lightning striked?" Jaune said.

**Nazo: Every time this pathetic planet has drawn on negativity of the emeralds, I began to form, until it was too much for the emeralds to suppress. With the 7 Chaos Emeralds and the Master Emerald, I will go beyond the strength of a god! Perfect Chaos is nothing compared to me! Sonic. Shadow. Everyone and everything you know is coming to an end. Witness the raw power, OF CHAOS! (He performs the ritual, as he laughs maniacally. Dark clouds hide the sky, a giant purple beam of light is shooting out of the island, visible from space, the ground below is shaking, the people are panicking. Amy, Cream and Cheese are watching from below, for some reason, I don't know why they're in the video.)**

**Amy: SONIC!**

"This is very bad." Yang said.

**(The force of chaos creates giant waves in the ocean. Thunder strikes. Nazo is starting to change.)**

"What is he changing into?" Weiss said.

**(Sonic and pals see Nazo's new form.)**

**Nazo: At last. My transformation is complete.**

"Wow. He changed completely." Yang said.

"Wait, the sky was dark. Why is it clean again?" Weiss said.

**Nazo: For the last moments of your life, you may refer to me as, Perfect Nazo!**

**Sonic: I've had enough! (He turns super.) Who do you think you are anyway?**

**Knuckles: Hey, come on now! DON'T DO IT, SONIC! (Sonic flies at Nazo to punch him.)**

**Sonic: You're mine! (He lands a hit, but Nazo didn't even feel it.) What? (He tries to kick him, but Nazo avoided it.)**

"It's like Cell all over again." Jaune said.

"More like Omega Shenron." Nova said.

**(Nazo and Sonic were in stand-off.)**

**Sonic: You're gonna pay for this! (He spindashes at Nazo, but he caught it like he was a dodgeball. He blasts Sonic, injuring him pretty badly. Shadow manages to catch Sonic before he falls.)**

**Shadow: Your weakness disgusts me.**

"Wait, he can fly?" Ruby said.

"Rocket shoes." Nova said.

"I forgot that he can fly with them." Sonic said.

"He flies rarely." Tails said.

**Shadow: (He drops Sonic and rises to the same level as Nazo to face him.) I'll show you the ultimate power! (He turns super and throws a giant Chaos Spear. Nazo deflects it like it was a fly.) Chaos Control! (He uses Chaos Control, but Nazo pulls a Diego and Chaos Controls in Chaos Control.)**

"What? He used Chaos Control in Chaos Control?" Blake said.

"How powerful is he?!" Yang said.

**(Nazo sees Shadow, moving very slow. He aims at him and blasts him, sending him crash down. But Shadow wasn't done yet. He had enough of this shit. His inhibitor ring are removed.)**

"Oh shit, he removed the rings."

**(Now Shadow was using his true power. Super form and his own chaos energy. He powers up.)**

**Knuckles: There's something wrong with Shadow. (Everything turned red. The ground is shaking, debris floating, sparks flashing.)**

**Sonic: Shadow, have you lost your mind?! **

**Shadow: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Knuckles: That's going too far!**

**Shadow: CHAOS... (He teleports, grabs Nazo by the neck and pins him to a rock.) BLAST! (He does a massive explosion, its red light engulfing the entire island.)**

"That was sick!"

**(When the light die, it revealed a big crater. Shadow was in his base form, tired.)**

**Shadow: Damn it... (Nazo appears next to him, completely unharmed.) **

"He's fine?! Not even injured!?" Weiss said.

"Even Cell got damage by Vegeta's Final Flash!"

**Shadow: JUST... WHO ARE YOU?!**

**Nazo: I'm the ultimate life-form!**

"Ooooooh, right in the pride." Nova said.

**(Nazo kicks Shadow up, teleports over him and hammers him down, sending him crash on top of Sonic... making an explosion?)**

"Why did the explode?" Ruby said.

**Nazo: HAHAHAHAHA! Don't tell me this is the planet's only defence! I couldn't even dream it'd be this easy!**

**Tails: We can't let him get away with this, can we?**

**Knuckles: Hm. Even my attacks are useless.**

"Why is he saying it like it's something shocking?" Blake said.

**Knuckles: I can't believe that bastard! (Meanwhile in the debris, Sonic and Shadow are unabke to fight. They think that they let their friends down and now they will all die. Then suddenly they hear Tikal's voice.)**

**Tikal: **_**The servers are the seven chaos. Chaos is power, power enriched by the heart. The controller is the one that unifies the chaos.**_

**(They wake up, filled with determination and energy. Outside thee debris, Knuckles senses something.)**

**Knuckles: Those Chaos Emeralds... (He sees the Chaos Emerald getting bigger, turning into Super Emeralds.)**

"They're getting bigger?" Ren said.

"They're turning into Super Emeralds." Sonic said.

"Super?" Ruby said.

"They're even more powerful."

**(The debris were Sonic aand Shadow are under, blow up in a rainbow explosion of energy, surprising Nazo.)**

**Sonic: ****Hmph. You actually thought you could defeat me, by transforming into a monster?!**

"My eyes hurt. Too many flashing colours." Blake said.

**Nazo: Hyper...**

**Shadow: ****Behold, the ultimate power!**

**Sonic: ****There's only one way to go. Ready?**

**Shadow: ****Okay.**

**Both: ****Chaos Control!**** (They both use Chaos Control to fuse.)**

"Wait... did they just fused?!" Yang said.

**Knuckles: What is that bright light?!**

**Nazo: No!**

**(A bright explosion of colourful lights cover the island as the fused being is releasing his energy. The light dies, revealing the new fusion.)**

"Holy shit... they fused." Jaune said.

"Can this animation get more stupid?" Weiss said.

"Stupidly awesome! Now the real fight starts!" Yang said.

"How do you call this fusion? Sonadow?" Nora said.

"NO!" Sonic and Tails screamed.

"Shadic?" Ruby said.

"That's better." Sonic said.

**Nazo: Who are you?! Are you Sonic or Shadow?!**

**Shadic: SHADIC!**

"What did he say?" Pyrrha said.

"He said Shadic." Blake said?

**(Knuckles and Tails were in awe and Nazo was pissed. But then he snickers to their trick.)**

**Nazo: You can pull any trick you like... but it will only delay the destruction of this universe. (He charges a blast, aiming... somewhere, but Shadic kicks him before he does anything, sending him crash through multiple rocks.**

**Shadic: Too easy! (Nazo teleports back to the fight.)**

**Nazo: (thinking) This is impossible... (Shadic starts powering up.)**

"I love that song!" Ruby said.

**(Nazo powers up too. They both clash, starting the fight. They both move very fast, exchanging hits, creating small shockwaves. We see from they perspective that they are both equal in strength. His friends watch in awe, hoping that they would win. Knuckles, Tails, everyone in the city, Dr Eggman- what?)**

"How do they see the fight?" Weiss said.

**(Shadic charges his light speed attack and flies towards Nazo. He punches him in the face, sending him far away. Shadic follows him and keeps attacking him. He ends the combo by kicking him out of the atmosphere. Shadic follows him to space. He sees that Naazo prepares another blast.)**

**Shadic: Chaos (Nazo throws the blast.) Wind! (Shadic counters it, creating a big explosion. They both keep clashing, moving really fast. Shadic sends Nazo crash through a couple of space rocks. Nazo recovers and teleports in front of him, giving him a couple of heavy hits, sending Shadic crash on the Moon.)**

"I'll punch you to THE MOOOON!" Yang said while laughing.

**(Shadic recovers and spindashes at Nazo. Hew hits him gains more speed and kicks him to Earth. Nazo recovers and manages to descend slowly on Earth. Shadic teleports in front of him.)**

**Nazo: (panting) Well... You two aren't as easy to kill as I thought... I don't know how you pulled that unification trick with Chaos Control... But I must admit, it wass highly impressive.**

**Shadic: Heh heh...**

**Nazo: But tell me, Hyper Shadic. How many rings do you have left after that little transformation? (Shadic forgot. His form has a time limit.)**

"I forgot that it has a time limit." Jaune said.

"To be honest, we shouldn't even have any rings left." Sonic said.

**Nazo: Heh heh heh heh... I also admit, that I admire your ability to turn Chaos Emeralds into Super Emeralds. Something that even I can't do. However, this also works in my favor... **

"Oh come on!" Ruby said.

"Bullshit!" Yang said.

**Nazo: (The emeralds turn black and he absorbs their power.) Now... I can absorb the new reservoir of negative energy! (His rings change colour and he powers up to go even further beyond.)**

"Another transformation? Seriously?" Weiss said.

**Nazo: Understand this... Shadic, Tails, Knuckles. All of you combined, could not match the chaos energy that I now possess.**

"He didn't change that much, besides eye colour."

**Nazo: Although you have always been faster than me Shadic, your speed will mean nothing, when I destroy this planet. Now before everything on Earth is obliterated, I will leave you with my final explanation. You see, being born from negative chaos energy, makes me naturally inclined towards obtaining as much power as possible. In time, I will have more energy than any start, any universe. But there is one entity I will never be able to surpass. (Knuckles realises what entity Nazo is talking about.) That's right, Knuckles. Your precious Master Emerald. A source of infinite energy, created by the gods themselves. No matter how much energy I absorb, I will never be able to reach a level of infinity. Therefore, the only solution, is to detonate the planet, which in turn, will shatter the Master Emerald, into thousands of pieces. Dispersing them throughout the galaxy, along with their power. Making it impossible to be restored. I will not be damned to eternal subordination towards that rock!**

"That's why he wanted to blow up the planet?! To shatter a giant emerald that had been shatter before?! That's stupid!" Weiss said.

"Even Knuckles has done it once! Why would he blow up Earth?" Ruby said.

**Shadic: NO WAY!**

**Nazo: You are annoyingly stubborn... Obviously you won't resist. So... let's see, how many rings you have left, to stop THIS! (He teleports up to the sky, charging his enegy in his hands, raising them ti create a giant energy bomb. It gets bigger and bigger, its darkness swallowing the sky, its enegy destroying small parts of the island. Then Shadic does another trick. He spreads his arms wide and attracts all the rings in the world, like a powerful magnet, gaining more power.)**

"That's smart. He attracts more rings."

**(Everyone below watches, hoping that they would be saved. Sonic's friends, Shadow's friends, team Chaotix, Dr Eggman, even Metal Sonic!)**

"Even Metal Sonic?" Jaune said.

**(All of them raise their rings that they obviously had, giving Shadic more power. Nazo and Shadic unleash their attacks! Nazo's giant Death Ball clashes with Shadic's ring Final Kamehameha. They both try to push each other. Shadic puts more power to his attacks, pushing Nazo's attack back. Nazo retaliates by shooting smaller blasts at the giant bomb, making it bigger, ripping off Broly: Second Coming, pushing Shadic's attack back. The island was shaking. Nazo was about to win.)**

Everyone was watching. The suspense was killing them.

**(Then Knuckles and Tails decide to help. The turn Hyper too.)**

"They could transform?! Why didn't they do it sooner?!" Weiss said.

"Tails, look. Your Flicky army." Sonic said.

"Yeah, my Flicky army of death!" Tails said.

"Knuckles is pink." Nora said, making some of them laugh.

**(They fly over Nazo. Nazo sees them, not paying attention to the fight. Tails grabs Knuckles and spin throw him at Nazo. Shadic puts all of his power in the attack, destroying the bomb. Knuckles hits Nazo, pushing him towards the attack. Knuckles gets out of the way, just in time, as he sees the attack sends Nazo to outer space, while he screams in pain.)**

Most of the gang screamed in excitement.

"They did it!" Ruby said.

"They beat him by pulling a Gohan!" Yang said.

**Tails: We did it! (Shadic though believes otherwise. They see a mass of darkness being created in the sky.)**

**Knuckles: What's that?**

"Are you kidding me?! He's still alive?!"

**(Shadic was running out of time, before the transformation and the fusion ends.)**

**Knuckles: Shadic...**

**Shadic: ... Heh. CHAOS CONTROL! (He teleports to the dark mass. Inside the dark mass, Nazo appears.)**

**Nazo: What? I'm still alive? Those emeralds prove more useful than I thought... Damn. I suppose I'll just have to try to destroy the Earth again.**

"Why is his nose so big?" Nora said.

**(A light appears in front of him. Shadic appeared to finish him off, along with the emeralds. He makes a gesture with his fingers.)**

**Nazo: What are you doing?! UGH! (Shadic removes the new powers from Nazo. The emeralds gain their colours back and Shadic uses their power.) No... NO! I WILL NOT LET THIS HAPPEN! (He prepares a blast.) I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF- (Shadic cuts him off and turns him back to his previous form.)**

"No way!" Yang said.

**Nazo: NO! YOU CAN'T BE DOING THIS! (Shadow blasts him.) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (The black mass blows up, along with Nazo. Everyone below the island is celebrating. Sonic's friends are celebrating their victory. Eggman is relieved that the world isn't destroyed. Amy and Cream jump in excitement. Knuckles and Tails share a victorious handshake. They see Shadic seperating into Sonic and Shadow. They help Sonic stand up. He's happy that they won and they're okay. He looks at Shadow and givees him a thumbs up. Shadow responds also with a thumbs up.)**

**AND SO THE EARTH WAS SAVED ONCE AGAIN... AND ANOTHER ADVENTURE AWAIRS OUR BLUE HERO...**

**THE END**

"It was AMAZING!" Ruby said.

"It was incredible for a fan animation at that time!" Jaune said.

"I hope he made more of these!" Yang said.

"See tht after-credits scene." Nova said.

**(We see one of Nazo's rings. And a familiar shadow over it. Dr Eggman takes the ring and laughs.)**

"Oh boy." Yang said.

"It's currently in production."

"I guess it's time for us to leave. Let's go, Tails." Sonic said.

"Okay." Tails said. A new portal was created.

"Bye everyone! It was nice to meet you all!".

"Bye!" everyone said. They entered the portal and it closed.

"That was fun." Yang said.

"Well, I still have... two hours, before I'll leave." Nova said.

"Tomorrow we have classes." Pyrrha said.

"Don't worry. One last movie. When you wake tomorrow, you'll feel fresh and full of energy."

"Okay, start the movie!" Ruby said.

_(JoJo references: 29)_

**And done! Like, follow, leave a review (Not a request), sent a PM if you want and read the Nova Force. See you soon!**


	71. Sonic 06 fandub

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 68:**** Sonic 06 fandub**

**(The opening cutscene starts with Ke$ha in the background.)**

"That doesn't look like a Sonic game." Ruby said.

"It looks more like Final Fantasy." Jaune said.

**(People are celebrating and shouting as Princess Elise is on the boat.)**

**Elise: Hi! Hi! (giggling) Oh my gosh... You guys are too much...**

**Random citizens: Princess, sign my birth certificate! Take my house! Sign my tax forms! Sign my toes! My bed is made of scorpions... What?**

"Yeah, what?" Yang said.

**Random citizens: You should get that fixed!**

**Elise: (She's been given the holy fire or whatever, I don't care.) Wow, this fire is so bright. Beautiful. I can't stop looking at it. Woah. (She sees a vision.)**

**Random visiosn citizen: OH GOD!**

**(The city is on fire and Elise sees Iblis. Is that Iblis?)**

**Elise: It's like it's spinning within me. (Iblis roars and she snaps out.) Oh shit, that's outside- outside of me. Okay. Yes. I'm good!**

**Priest: Princess, you had a That's So Raven vision once more.**

"Yes! It's Alfred!"

**Elise: Oh no, I just day-dreamed. I'm here, for the people.**

**Priest: Alright, well. Let's get litty in this bitch. Light that bitch up, right now.**

**Elise: I will light this bitch up, right now.**

**Priest: Thank you, princess. We're gonna get higher than a kite tonight!**

**Elise: It's lit, fam. (crowd cheers)**

**Random citizen: Oh man, I hope somebody fucks up the fireworks.**

**Elise: Thanks guys! (The ceremony gets ruined by rockets blowing.)**

"Wow, who would have thought." Blake said.

**(An airship unleashes a bunch of robots and they surround the princess.)**

**Robots: **_**We are the robots! Please freeze! There's too much weight. Please freeze! (robot noises) Please freeze! Am I doing this right? It's my first day on the job. Please freeze.**_

"When will it start being funny?"

"It's just the opening." Nova said.

**(A small flying vehicle descends, revealing. Dr. Ro-fat-fucking-fat-fatass-fucking-fuck-fat!)**

"Why is he so ugly?" Weiss said.

"Too much realism is bad." Jaune said.

"He has four nipples!" Nora said.

**Eggman: (chuckles) Why, hello there, young princess. Do you like my outfit? My four nipples? Now, you must acquire me by getting on this boat right now! Not the boat, my ship! Gimme this- *gasp* You have the Chaos Emerald! In your hands!**

"Why would she wear a Chaos Emerald as a necklace? Does she want to get kidnapped?" Blake said.

**Eggman: Gimme that shit right now or I'm gonna rip it off you my goddamn self. Give it to me!**

**Elise: Uhh, how about no? Hehe...**

**Eggman: Oh. You'd rather do this the hard way. Well, then it looks like we're gonna- wait, those aren't tornadoes. This isn't Arizona! What's happening?! (The tornado is Sonic!)**

**Sonic: My! That's a pretty snazzy performance there.**

"Wow, Judy's impression is amazing." Yang said.

**(Elise sees a vision of Silver.)**

**Silver: Eh?! (vision ends) (laughter)**

Some of them laughed with that.

**Sonic: HmMMmmm...**

**Eggman: Get that goddamn hedgehog! (Sonic runs around and destroys the robots.)**

**Sonic: Hyah! I'm going down!**

**Robots: **_**Oh my god, he's an acrobat!**_

**Sonic: I'm gonna kill all of you! And... poke!**

**Robot: (robot scream)**

**Sonic: Don't fall! HAHA, HA! ONE! (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"What was that?" Pyrrha said.

"One. Just one." Yang said.

**Sonic: Come on, Elise! (Takes her away)**

**Eggman: Sonic, where do you think you're going you motherfucking- Oh, he's cockblocking me! Get him!**

**Sonic: You're never gonna get me~! Don't worry, Eggman's an egghead.**

**Eggman: What did you call me?! (Silver watches everything from a rooftop.)**

**Silver: Oh, I should... uh... I-I guess he's got it handled. I'll just... I mean it'd be really awkward if I walked in now, so...(laughter)**

Everyone laughed again.

"Why was that so funny?" Blake said while laughing.

**[Cool intro]**

"Looks like new people are in this." Ruby said?

"Why is Sonic music so good? It's so cheesy but awesome at the same time!" Yang said.

**Sonic: Are you okay, princess? Whoa!**

"What? Why do they look so ugly? The cutscene was beautiful, why couldn't be the rest be nice?" Weiss said.

**(Robots arrive.)**

**Robots: **_**Gotta kill!**_

**Sonic: No, you can't kill anybody. Especially not me!**

**Robots: **_**Oh my god, I have a family. (robot pain sounds)**_

**Sonic: Huh?! It sounds like you're getting taken away!**

**Eggman: (chuckles) Yes, Sonic, I got'cha bitch! I got her in the palm of my hands!**

**Sonic: Put her down, Eggman!**

"So, Sonic will start saving princesses too?" Blake said.

**Eggman: You put yourself down. I'm taking her and the Chaos Emerald.**

**Elise: Take it! (throws the emerald) (anime sound)**

**Sonic: I'm gonna drop it, Elise, no! (catches it) Oh, thank god. Okay, I'll rescue you. Don't worry.**

**Eggman: No, you won't.**

**Sonic: I will!**

**Elise: Take it. Be good.**

**Eggman: I'm taking her back to my ship and you'll never see her again, Sonic. You'll be dead. 10,000 years, Sonic! 10,000 years!**

**Sonic: You won't even live for then- 10,000 years.**

**Eggman: Then thousand years!**

**Sonic: Don't make fun of me!**

**Eggman: Wow, Sonic, go read a book or something. See ya, idiot!**

"_That's why kids, read a book!_" Ruby said, making an impression, making everyone laugh.

"That was a great impression of professor-"

"Doctor." Blake interrupted Yang.

"-doctor Oobleck."

"Does he talk that fast?" Nova said.

"He literally zips around the classroom. Most of the times we don't understand him."

"He should stop drinking so much coffee." Jaune said.

"He probably puts cocaine in his coffee."

"Huh. Have you ever said your complaints to him?"

"Complaints?" Pyrrha said.

"Yeah. If you can't even understand what he's saying, then you must talk to him about it so there would be no problems."

"We did. But he still talking fast like an assault rifle." Ruby said.

"Then he should be fired."

"Fired? But he's an amazing teacher and huntsman!"

"Yeah, but if there's a problem that can't stop, then the teacher must go. Probably in a university, where he would get a better paycheck, because I don't think he's getting payed enough."

"Miss Goodwitch says that all the time." Nora said.

"You know, what about that other teacher? Who says stories all the time?"

"Professor Port?" Jaune said.

"Yeah, he should be fired too. If he says stories all the time and doesn't teach, then he should write books, not be a teacher and bore the classroom."

"He also tried to hit on me." Yang said.

"Instant dismissal and jailtime! Why are they still here?! What was Ozzy thinking?! I'm actually wondering if a student had sex any of the staff just to get a better grade!"

"Principal Ozpin would never let that happen." Weiss said.

"Yeah, he has miss dominatrix."

"Dude, not in front of Ruby!" Yang said.

**Sonic: I can read very well, actually. (the airship leaves) No! Well, that smarts.**

**Eggman: Dumbass.**

**[Scene change]**

**(It's Shadow's opening cutscene.)**

**Shadow: (avoids gunfire) Dang robots. Always taking my job of being bland. (destroys robots) How'd I blow you up? How'd I blow you up? I have some powers I need to kind of adjust to. Anyway- oh crap, light! Hey. Wristband. Tell me my future.**

**Wristband: **_**It's me, the G.U.N. soldier that's talking to you. Your future is: undetermined.**_

**Shadow: Well, that's pretty lame. I spent like 20 dollars on you. Anyway, I'm gonna break into- WOAH! (teleports) (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"That scared me!" Pyrrha said.

**Shadow: Well, that was weird. Dematerializing, rematerializing. Anyway, Rouge, that's a nice purple you have there.**

**Rouge: Thanks, it's a good color on me. What do you think of my scepter?**

**Shadow: I think it's nice. That's the purrple I was referring to.**

"Damn, she got roasted." Yang said.

**Rouge: Oh...**

**Shadow: I mean, it matches your pink.**

**Rouge: Gotcha. (then earthquake) What's happening?**

**Shadow: It's an earthquake, Rouge. (robots appear) Like, honestly, didn't you learn about this in third grade?**

**Robots: **_**You're getting fucked.**_

**Rouge: I don't know what earthquakes are.**

**Shadow: (scoffs) Then you're gonna be no use against these earthquake robots.**

"Shouldn't that be the opposite? She can fly." Ruby said.

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: Oh, hey Tails! Long time no see.**

**Tails: Hey Sonic! How's it goin'? You want to go get some ice cream?**

**Sonic: Well...**

"I would love some ice cream right now."

**Tails: I'm- I'm really hungry for some ice cream.**

**Sonic: Hmmm...**

**Tails: I could go for a sundae or something right now. I don't know. Maybe... something with sprinkles.**

**Sonic: I'll take ONE scoop, please!**

"The one again!" Nora said.

**Tails: Okay! Bye Sonic! I- oh, okay. I can fly? What?**

Some of them laughed.

**[Scene change]**

**(The ice cream airship leaves)**

**Sonic: Aw, missed him again. We always miss the ice cream airship, Tails!**

"How cool would that be? An airship dropping ice cream." Jaune said.

"That would be every kid's dream out of hundreds of every kid's dreams!" Ruby said.

**Tails: Aww man!**

**(A feather falls making a feather sound)**

**Sonic: Oh. Hey.**

**Tails: It dropped a feather. I didn't think airplanes had feathers.**

**Sonic: What is this one, vanilla?**

**Tails: I guess so. Bye!**

**Sonic: Yummy, yummy in my tummy.**

**[Scene change]**

**Shadow: Oh crap. Rays. (He and Rouge are now in the computer room.) Well, fortunately we made it here to the computer room. Hey- hey Rouge. Hey Rouge, hey Rouge.**

**Rouge: Yeah.**

**Shadow: We found- we- we found the computer room.**

**Rouge: Oh fuck, the computer room.**

"The computer room?"

"Old meme." Nova said.

**Rouge: We could play so much Fortnite in here, dude.**

"Are you kidding? Fortnite?" Weiss said.

"Yeah, there are probably better games." Yang said.

**Shadow: Are you kidding?**

**Rouge: Just think of all the Fortnite battles we could win in this room with this much technology. We'd be unstoppable.**

**Shadow: That's lame. Listen. I appreciate the effort, but the new rage is Doki Doki Literature Club Battle Royal.**

**Rouge: Ohhh. I never heard about that one.**

**Shadow: That's the new Monica re-design. She's like a redhead... even though she was, like, kinda brunette? I don't know. I didn't play Doki Doki.**

**Rouge: I've not heard about that one yet, what's it about? How does it work? It sounds like a fun game.**

"Yeah, with Monica taking control and destroying your computer." Jaune said.

**Rouge: But, I mean, my favourite game is Fortnite, obviously. And this is a Fortnite update. This is a DLC I purchased. It's like an Amiibo.**

**Shadow: I'm so proud of you.**

"Wait, does it count as DLC? It seems more like an add-on." Ruby said.

**Rouge: Thank you! We're gonna go there. That's where we should- that's the island we should drop on right there.**

**[Scene change]**

**Shadow: So, this is the fabled Tilted Towers. (laughter)**

"How was that funny?" Blake said.

"Fortnite map. I think, I don't know. I'm a CoD guy." Nova said.

**(Eggman arrives)**

**Shadow: I could make a joke about that being the Battle Bus, but- (gasp) It's you!**

**Eggman: (sinister laugh) I know where we're dropping today, boys.**

**Rouge: Eggman, how did you get here?**

**Eggman: How do you think I get here? I floated down on my giant Battle Bus. **_**The Vengabus is coming.**_** You know what I'm sayin'? It's Fortnite. How could you not know about Fortnite? You said you played. You were BatFucker69 on there. (robots arrive)**

"Who puts 69 in his username anymore?" Yang said.

**Shadow: I haven't seen you since... the incident.**

**Robots: (robot noises)**

**Eggman: We don't talk about the incident, Shadow. Now, die!**

**Robots: **_**I'll destroy you BatFucker!**_

**Shadow: Oh, Christ!**

**Robots: **_**It's been determined! **_**(Rouge gets hit)**

**Rouge: That's so mean!**

**Shadow: That's what you get for unironically having 69 in your name. Teriaaa! (grabs Rouge before she lands)**

**Rouge: Shadow, you saved me!**

**Eggman: AHA! No, god! (the Amiibo is falling)**

**Shadow: Oh crap, the purple's falling in a very long time!**

**Rouge: No! Gimme the- get the purple! (the purple breaks) Oh no! (We like to party starts playing and the robots are destroyed)**

**Robots: (robot pain noises)**

"I love that song!" Nora said.

**Shadow: So it's the power of Purple. I don't want to touch it.**

**Rouge: Did he break it?**

**Shadow: I don't know- OH GOD! (Mephiles is free)**

**Mephiles: (visceral screaming)**

**Rouge: Oh my god!**

**Eggman: Oh no, the instant ramen's been released! We need to go, now!**

**Rouge: Nooo, my Amiibo...**

**Shadow: A shadow. I feel like I should be able to feel with this guy, but... I don't know. Something about it- AUGH! (Mephiles dives in Shadow's shadow.) Going through the floor. Who do you think you are, Danny Phantom or something? *gasp* My shadow... That's how I got my name!**

**Mephiles: (menacing laughter that turns to violent coughing which slowly turns to laughter again)**

**Shadow: Oh d- dude, you alright? You good? Good? You need a lozenge?**

**Rouge: Oh mybgod, who the fuck is that?**

"Lung cancer?" Blake said.

**Shadow: Just let him have- just give him a second to clear his throat.**

**Mephiles: Welcome to Tilted Towers. (laughter) Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Memphis, Tennessee and I'm part lizard. Nice to- yoroshiku onegai-ishima, as they say in Nippon.**

**Shadow: Mee-philes! I should've guessed. What happened to your mouth? **

**Mephiles: Oh, Shadow the Hedgehog, you don't know? There's a new trend going around online called "kinning". My body is reforming to suit your own. Soon I will be 100% Shadow, and there's nothing you can do to stop me! (villainous laugh)**

"Okay, that voice is very good." Jaune said.

"What does kinning mean?" Ruby said.

"It's another word for role-playing." Blake said.

**Shadow: I can, um, kick your ass. Right now.**

**Mephiles: Let me get a good smell of you, little boy. (laughter)**

That made some of them laugh.

"Back off, weirdo." Yang said.

**Shadow: No. Okay. You have to... gonna have to back up.**

**Mephiles: Look at this orb. Inside you'll see the future. In your future, it looks like you'll kiss seven girls. How lucky for you. I learned this a few minutes ago.**

"Shadow the player."

**Shadow: Joke's on you! If you were a true copy of me, you'd know I'm gay.**

"More like, Shadow the edgy faggot." Nova said.

"Dude, why do you hate gay people?"

"I don't hate gay people, I just don't like it when homosexual couples are shown on media that also kids watch. It's like they're spreading the message of "be gay" to children. Not "it's okay to be gay", but "be gay". And they know that they're in an age of development. I get it for the kids that are already gay, but it ruins it for the ones that are not or don't know what they are."

"It did happen to some people I knew. But why would it ruin it for the rest?" Blake said.

"When you see romance between a boy and a girl, you feel nice and wish that this would happen to you. When you see it between two people of the same gender, you don't get that feeling. You feel a little sick. It feels so unnatural, makes you question if this is allowed by anyone. It ruins the experience. It's one of the reasons I don't like the end of Kill la Kill."

"On Remnant it's pretty normal, but is it that bad on Earth?" Ruby said.

"It's a sin! I know what my Dad said, I'm His son! I've read the Bible! Just because it's not one of the Ten Commandments, people think it's okay. My Dad didn't even expect of people being gay."

"This is getting very religious." Yang said.

"Wait, you don't like the end of Kill la Kill?" Jaune said.

"Yeah, the gay romance was very fast, and I didn't like it how they treated Satsuki in the end."

"But the world was saved and they all became friends." Ruby said.

"Exactly. Where is her redemption arc? The story is written that way that it makes you forget or don't care at all about her crimes against humanity and her large body count. A lot of people died you know, most of them being children."

"But she helped saving the world."

"Yeah. Not because she cared about others, but because she wanted to get rid off her mother. And yeah, her help was as useful as the crowd who cheers for the hero to win."

"You have a point. She's basically the Vegeta of the show. The only difference is that Vegeta had an actual redemption arc. No, he HAD a redemption arc. And it took most of Dragon Ball Z." Jaune said.

**Mephiles: Here, come to my house. C'mon, let's go. To my house. (they all disappear with fwoom sfx) (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"This game sucks!" Yang said while laughing.

**Alfred: This game is awful.**

**Blue: We just got fucking Thanos'd. What the shit?**

**Ryan: We just disappeared!**

**[Scene change]**

**(Now it's Silver's opening cutscene.)**

**Silver: Okay, so... Google Maps said the Denny's would be around this corner. Denny's? Augh! (fire emerges and Silver pushes it away.) Get out... of my way please! Thank you!**

"Aww, why do they make these characters always insecure?" Pyrrha said.

"Yeah, Silver is cool, he has telekinesis." Ruby said.

**Blaze: Silver!**

**Silver: Huh?**

**Blaze: Silver! The Denny's is that way.**

**Silver: Finally... a Grand Slam! (laughter) Let's go!**

"Grand Slam?" Nora said.

"Pancake breakfast." Nova said.

"Pancake breakfast?! How good is it?!"

"I've heard it's great."

"Ohhhh, I want to try it SO! BAD!"

**Blaze: Save a cheese melt for me, Silver! (changes to gameplay) There it is, the Grand Slam! The grandest slam of them all!**

**Grand Slam: It is I, the GRAND SLAM!**

**Silver: I'm gonna savir every morsel of this. Let's go!**

**Grand Slam: You will not consume me. I will have both of your sould ingested in the GRAND SLAM! (the scren turned black)**

**Blaze: ... and then we ate it.**

Some of them laughed.

"I can do it in less time."

**Silver: I can't believe we ate the who~ole thi~ng...**

**Blaze I know, I'm stuffed. I could use a nap, Silver.**

"More like a _cat _nap! Eh? Get it?" Yang said and everyone groaned. "Come on! Blake, you get it, right?"

"Do you assume that I'm lazy because I'm part cat? You know, I could go full SJW on you and post something to make everyone hate you." Blake said.

"Please, you're smarter than that."

"Do you say that they're dumb because they don't understand common sense? That's offensive, and all the adjectives that they say!" Nova said.

**Silver: Well, I just always wantbto sleep, you know. I'm tired all the time, I hate it. 'Cause then when I try to go to sleep, I- I can't.**

**Blaze: I know, and you angst so much about it.**

**Silver: Ugh... I just wanna sleep, Blaze. I'm so tired of taking melatonin. It makes me tired all the time.**

**Blaze: Oh, I fuckin' feel you there, buddy. Insomnia, am I right?**

**Mephiles: Hey, gamers. Were you talking about Fortnite? No, I'm not even gonna pretend you were talking about Fortnite. I just really love bringing up my favourite game whenever I can.**

"Everyone does that nowadays. That's how people make friends these days." Yang said.

**Mephiles: I, too, have insomnia, but unlike you mine is not caused by depression.**

**Silver: Hey, that's not-... Well, yes, I am depressed. Okay.**

**Mephiles: Mine is because I play so much Fortnite. I stay up late and go to Tilted Towers. I don't actually play Fortnite. I don't know any other places... (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

**Mephiles: Welcome to my house. As you can see, I've knocked over many chairs because I get so tilted at the towers.**

**Silver: This isn't really tilted, or a tower...**

**Mephiles: Well, you see, it's a gamer pad. Not many girls come in here cuz I get friendzoned so frequently. But that's okay.**

"The struggles of a gamer."

**Silver: I'd like to be in the friend zone. I'd like friends.**

"Aww, poor Silver." Ruby said.

**Mephiles: It's not as pleasant as you'd think. They don't treat you like a friend. They treat you like an item. (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"So true! It's so true!" Weiss said while laughing.

**Mephiles: Sometimes I wish I could be more than just an accessory to these women, but unfortunately, as a gamer, I don't get respect.**

**Silver: Well, I'm not a gamer, so maybe they'll respect me!**

**Mephiles: That just makes you a beta cuck. (laughter) That's the- that's the- that's the difference between you and I, Silver the Hedgehog. I'm an alpha gamer f-(Chase can't continue because of laughter)**

Everyone laughed again.

**Mephiles: Anyway, where we- where we droppin', boys? (laughter)**

"Judy can't stop laughing!" Yang said while laughing.

**Mephiles: These are all the new maps that they've added, and that's a newspaper.**

**Blaze: Have you ever actually interacted with a woman in your life, Mephiles?**

**Mephiles: That doesn't matter. Check out this cool gem I got on eBay for 7 dollars.**

**Silver: It's so cool. Can I add it to my rock collection?**

**Vision Sonic: OH?! OH MY GOD! SOMEONE HELP MEEEEE!**

"What? Why was he on fire?" Ruby said.

**Silver: Oh my god! That looked like it hurt. What do you think, Blaze? ...Blaze?**

**Blaze: I didn't see it.**

**Mephiles: Give me back my thing. You see, I had to trap Sonic in the Hell Dimension 'cause he disrespected gamers.**

"What a monster." Yang said.

**Mephiles: If you- if you still- anywa, welcome to my purple orb, it's time to go.**

**Silver: Wait, but I don't really... EH! (they disappear with fwoom sfx)**

**[Scene change]**

**(We go to Elise, who is imprisoned somewhere.)**

"Wow, her legs look burned." Pyrrha said.

"She probably wears a pantyhose." Weiss said.

"I don't think she does." Yang said.

"If she did, her legs wouldn't look like that." Pyrrha said.

**Elise: Ughhh... Maybe if I- if I keep thinking really hard, my hands will get clean. I really would like to eat, but there's- huh?**

**Sonic: Elise!**

**Tails: Hi!**

**Elise:H-how'd you get up here, guys?**

**Sonic: Nuh-uh! (gets hugged) Oh!**

**Elise: I need a hug.**

**Sonic: Your legs, are they okay? They look really sunburned.**

**Elise: Oh, well, you know...**

**Sonic: Yeah, I do.**

**Tails: Oh no, look out!**

**Eggman: I have you both- all of you trapped here. Now you can either give her up and we play PUBG together or you can stay down here and wrestle in your Fortnite, or whatever the kids are play now.**

"Why do people think Fortnite is bad? The game is good, it's just the 11 year olds that ruined it." Yang said.

**Sonic: PUBG's old news, Eggman! **

**Tails: Yeah, Eggman, you lame-o!**

**Sonic: Tetris 99's where it's at!**

"It does seem competitive." Ruby said.

**[Scene change]**

**(Robots in the sky, saying African stuff from the Lion King.)**

**Sonic: Hmm, robots in the sky!**

**Tails: Robots in the sky? This is just like that dream I had once about robots in the sky.**

**Sonic: Tell it to us in excruciating detail, Tails.**

**Tails: Well, it was a whole dream, bye! (laughter)**

Some of them laughed with that.

**Ryan: You fucking knee that was coming, you asshole.**

"Yeah, she definitely played the game." Jaune said.

**(Sonic carries Elise.)**

**Elise: Oh.**

**Sonic: You're heavy. (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"You can't say things like that!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**[Scene change]**

**(Shadow and Rouge arrive at the future.)**

**Rouge: Where the fuck are we?**

**Shadow: This is the future that zoomers want, Rouge. This is the future of Fortnite.**

"Okay, boomer." Ruby said. (I want her to say that.)

**Rouge: No, this can't be the future of Fortnite. It's the best game of 2018.**

**Shadow: Yeah, but this is like, 20, like, 99 or something... Like 99 Tetri- why is it black and white?**

**[Scene change]**

**Rouge: I'm so confused. All my Fortnite save files are gone!**

**Shadow: We found the computer room!**

**Rouge: We found it! This is it. This is where we make our breakthrough. We're going to make a game. We're gonna combine all the battle royales and make a battle royale better than Fortnite ever was.**

"I hope she doesn't include the building."

"You know what would be a good game idea? The Vytal Tournament." Yang said.

"Oh, that's sounds interesting."

**Rouge: Come on. Shadow, you gotta be in this with me.**

**Shadow: You're right. And I know just the backing music.**

**Rouge: Aaaand recording, go.**

**Shadow: (dooting Pumpkin Hill)**

"Oh come on, Pumpkin Hill again?" Weiss said.

**Shadow: YES! The ultimate soundtrack for the ultimate game!**

**Rouge: Inspired! This is going to be the best game that's ever been made. We're going to be rich, Shadow. Absolutely rich. All the gamers. All the gamers will be on our side. We'll have an army of gamers to take over the world with.**

"That sounds very threatening." Blake said.

"You're very cynical lately. That's an improvement." Nova said.

"Shut up."

**Shadow: Y'know, you say that like it's a threatening thing, but have you ever seen a gamer in real life before?**

**Rouge: No, but they have- they talk big shit. (they both jump in surprise) What?**

**Shadow: Sorry, I thought I heard a cat.**

**Rouge: Oh, yeah.**

**[Scene change]**

**(Silver arrives at the present)**

**Silver: Ah! Oh. Oh my gosh, this is- is this what a... tree looks like? (laughter) That's beautiful. Wait... Is that a rock too? Fuck yeah! This place rules!**

"Compared to his time, it is beautiful." Pyrrha said.

**Blaze: **_**All around me are familiar Blazes **_**(laughter)**

_**Worn-out Blazes**_

_**Worn-out Blazes- **_**Is that what a house looks like?! (laughter)**

That made them laugh a little.

**Blaze: Oh my god! This place is amazing! Where am I, the future? **

_**Worn-out Blazes- **_**(laughter) Huh? I thought I heard a cat or something. I dunno.**

"Oh, the irony." Nora said.

**[Scene change]**

**(Silver watches Sonic from a rooftop, who says Sonic stuff.)**

**Silver: Oh my god... It's the guy on fire! But... he's not on fire? I gotta see what's up. (then Amy appears)**

"And I thought she wouldn't be in this." Yang said.

**Amy: Whoa, wait! Where you goin', good lookin'? I'm gonna get all up in that crotch!**

**Silver: No, I don't- I don't like being touched! Please stop! Please stop! Please- no, I hate this! I hate this! Please! Go away, please!**

**Amy: Oh! You're not my boyfriend! (Slaps Silver) Get outta here! EWW! Why would you touch me?! Ew! EW! PERVERT! PERVERT! PERVERT! PERVERT!**

**Silver: Ugh! Oh my god! This is the worst. This is the actual worst. I wanna go home. I need- no- oh, and now the blue guy's gone.**

"What was that scene?" Weiss said.

**Silver: This is- this is- that's just my- my whole good mood is ruined! I- I hope you're happy with yourself. **

**Amy: I am happy with myself! I have a positive mental attitude? (laughter)**

**Silver: God, I wish that were me. Anyway, go away!**

**Amy: You should just- you should just cheer up!**

**Silver: No!**

**Amy: You can believe in yourself! Friendship!**

**Silver: Now you're just saying words.**

**Amy: Wait. Who are you? Why are you- no! (laughter) Let go of my hand! Let go of my hand, pervert!**

**Silvey: Hey! No! Let go! Please! Ah! You!**

Everyone laughed.

**[Scene change]**

**(Sonic was carrying Elise at the Windows XP wallpaper.)**

**Elise: Ugh...**

**Sonic: We did it!**

**Elise: Uh... Thank you. Thanks. I appreciate that. My legs are really tired from not walking though. You know how they, like-**

**Sonic: Oh, this? It's my arm. **

Some of them laughed with that.

"Is anyone else hating Elise or it's just me?" Yang said.

"Everyone is. She's very generic and bland." Blake said.

**Elise: Hands are important. When was the last time you washed your hands? I haven't washed mine in four days.**

"But she's wearing gloves." Ruby said.

**Elise: I've also been eating rocks. That's- that's my go-to... when I was captured. Yeah!**

**Sonic: Rocks?**

"Rocks?" Ruby said.

"Her ass must be destroyed by now." Yang said.

"Love the cronch." Nova said.

"The cronch...? Oh, I get it!"

"What?... Did you just make another JoJo reference?" Weiss said.

"Kinda."

"Even eating rocks is a JoJo reference?! What isn't a JoJo reference?!"

**Elise: Yeah yeah yeah, they're pretty good.**

**Sonic: Nuh-uh-uh! That's not food! (A butterfly lands on Sonic's nose.)**

**Elise: What about grass?**

**Sonic: This is food, Elise.**

"*gasp* Butterflies...?" Nora said.

**Elise: It's beautiful. I love your new hat. I'm gonna name her... Alexa. (The butterfly flies away.)**

**Sonic: You threw it away! Bye, Alexa.**

**Elise: Bye, Alexa. I hope she lives her best life, off in the sky.**

**Sonic: Me too.**

**Elise: She's gonna become a part of the sky. That's how it works.**

**Sonic: Come along with me! Why don't you tell me your incredibly complicated backstory, in an interesting long-winded monologue, complete with background visuals?**

**Elise: Oh, okay. Yes. So once upon a time, I lived in a kingdom with my family. But the kingdom was on fire or maybe I dreamt it was on fire? (Sonic: I'll do the sound effects.) Oh, yeah. I know I dreamt it was on fire and there was a big monster- oh my gosh, the sky is so beautiful. Eyes.**

"Can we skip it? I'm tired just by looking at it." Weiss said.

**Elise: Look at the clouds. I saw a pig in the clouds. I just- I- but I don't know how. It spoke to me. (laughter)**

"This scene is stupid!"

**Elise: It spoke to me like the fire monster. It said: That guy needs some mousse from his mustache, maybe a beard hydrator.**

**Sonic: I know where to find a mustache. Come on!**

**Elise: What?**

**(Later)**

**Sonic: How was that?**

**Elise: You know, it was all right, it wasn't great. Definitely won't recommend.**

"What did they do?" Ruby said.

"They probably played this game." Blake said, getting some laughs.

"No, this game sucks." Yang sais?

**Sonic: ONE.**

**Elise: Yeah, ONE.**

**Alfred: Oh my fucking god. (cackling)**

**[Scene change]**

**Silver: The battle royale game had a soundtrack that was so fire, it set fire to the world. And now I need to find the hedgehog- THERE HE IS!**

**Sonic: Huh? Who said that? Whoa! (He jumps away from Silver's attack.) Hold on, I think there's a fan.**

"We'll see a fight now?" Yang said.

**Silver: You must never rap again, or else the world will be destroyed!**

**Sonic: Have you even heard my mixtape? It's fire!**

**Silver: Oh, I'm gonna fire at you into a wall!**

**Sonic: AAAAAAH! (He gets thrown into a pillar.)**

"I can't take that voice seriously!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**Sonic: (pain sounds)**

**Elise: Um. Oh my gosh.**

**Sonic: Look... I- I won't rap again! Okay, I'll do it, I'll throw it away, I promise.**

**Elise: Guys! (She gets kidnapped again.)**

**Eggman: She's taken by the snap-crackle-pop!**

"Again?" Weiss said.

"Where did he come from? He literally came out of nowhere." Jaune said.

**Sonic: Oh, there she goes.**

**Silver: You stop! Hey!**

**Sonic: (gets pushed again) Oh!**

**Silver: I'm not done talking to you!**

**Sonic: Okay, what do you want?**

**Silver: First, I want you to apologize, I mean, I was in the middle of talking to you.**

**Amy: No!**

"Now she jumped in?" Weiss said.

**Silver: Amy? Wait, how do I know your name?**

**Amy: I TOLD YOU MY NAME!**

**Silver: Oh yeah.**

**Sonic: Thanks, Amy. Maybe you can feature on my next track.**

**Amy: Maybe I can feature on your next what?**

**Sonic: See you later.**

**Amy: Aww damnit, I missed my opportunity on Sonic's next album! This is your fault, silver boy! I'm gonna pluck you up, melt you dowm and make a fucking necklace!**

"Holy shit." Yang said while laughing.

**Sliver: Yeah, I probably deserve it.**

**Amy: Oh wait, shit. You don't make this fun 'cause you're sad! (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

**Silver: I'm always sad. That's just my thing. I- I'm sorry. I'm sad. I can't- that's just how I be, y'know?**

**Amy: Well now I just feel bad. Damnit. (laughter) Alright, well, I guess, like... We could talk about, like... future?**

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: Hey Knuckles!**

**Tails: Hey Knuckles!**

"Finally, Knuckles is here!" Ruby said.

**Knuckles: What up? I'm listening to my Game Boy. It's got the bomb tunes on it. Check- check it out.**

"Who uses a game console to listen to music?" Weiss said.

"Especially a Game Boy." Yang said.

**Sonic: Oh, Super Mario Kart?**

**Tails: Not Super Mario Kart... Eggman?!**

**Eggman: **_**We have picture of Mario, pictures of Luigi, pictures of princess Daisy, pictures of princess Peach. Did you know that the FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is only done for people who like gaming Minecraft?**_

"Is that Pumpkin Hill in the background?" Blake said.

"Pumpkin Hill? I didn't hear anything." Pyrrha said.

**Knuckles: Yeah, the remix is a little hard to fucking understand, crush.**

**Sonic: Yeah, it sounds like Pumpkin Hill.**

**Tails: Now, Knuckles, why would you listen to music on a Game Boy? That's not what a Game Boy is for.**

**Knuckles: You're right, it's what a Switch is for.**

**Sonic: Not gonna say what I said last time, 'cause that was weird. Alright!**

**Tails: Wait, what?**

**Knuckles: Hey, don't take me anywhere-**

**[Scene change]**

**Knuckles: Aw fuck!**

**Hayley: You have found the computer room.**

Everyone laughed.

"Where was Za Warudo? I wanted to hear Za Warudo!" Yang said.

**Sonic: Oh god, here we are!**

**Tails: Where are we?**

**Ryan: Shut up, Hayley!**

**Sonic: Eggman!**

**Tails: Eggman!**

**Eggman: Welcome to the realm. (laughing menacingly) Now, I have the epic gamer right here.**

**Elise: Hey!**

**Sonic: No!**

**Knuckles: Alright, time to drop.**

"Do a flip!" Nora said.

**Eggman: Now, I'm gonna be turning you all into Minecraft PS4s.**

**Sonic: But Eggman, she's my heart and soul!**

"This is getting weird." Ruby said.

"You know, when you're younger and you see an animal being in love with a human, like in Family Guy or any other cartoon, you usually don't care. Why do we care here?" Jaune said.

**Eggman: Give me the gem right now!**

**Elise: No!**

**Eggman: I don't wanna hear your musky mouth. Put the gem there or I'm gonna put her in Minecraft.**

**Sonic: Alright.**

**Tails: Sonic, don't do it!**

**Sonic: Time to give up my 1-up.**

**Eggman: That's right. I want that Aquafina, bitch. (slurping) I wanna sip that shit. YES! (Eggman activates the trap.)**

**Sonic: WHOA!**

**Tails: Oh no!**

**Eggman: Enjoy your time in Fortnite, boys!**

**Sonic: No!**

**Tails: No!**

**Sonic: Wait, is it Fortnite or Minecraft?**

**Eggman: That's for really knowing you to find out, you goddamn nasty hedgehog son of a bitch. I want you gone out of my life. Look at the size of my nostril, I can smell you from here!**

**Elise: Why are you so rude?**

**Eggman: Why are you so goddamn pale? Now, get the fuck away from here! GET OUT OF MY LIFE, SONIIIIIIIIIIC! (The machine sucks them to the future.)**

**Tails: Sonic, no! Aaaaah!**

**Knuckles: Eggman, I fucked your wiiiiife!**

That made some of them laugh.

"Nice callback." Yang said.

**Elise: No!**

**Eggman: I flushed them fown the terlet. (laughter) They'll see me again. Mm mm mm. Now, about those PUBG let's plays, we can start something tonight on twitchtv. com.**

"You banish someone and then you plan what to stream? Who does that?" Weiss said.

**Eggman: Wait, listen, I think we should maybe- no, not even- not even PUBG. We'll go with Fortnite. We'll do Fortnite. We'll create Fortnite. And we'll get Todd Howard on it. That way he can make Fallout 76 battle royale. (laughter) Then, we have to switch over our plans. That way, we create the ultimate battle royale experience! And I only need you for it.**

"What evil genius would waste his time on something that stupid but also smart?"

**Elise: So I'm just gonna let you keep talking and I'm just gonna meditate. (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

**Eggman: Now, listen, you're the key component! And you listen to me. You will be my game tester. You'll test all of my battle royale experiences. All the gamers will look up to you. You will be gaming gamer girl queen. Youll have Cheeto puffs on your fingers. And Twitch Prime will be mine! Now do you agree to do this... or am I gonna have to let you go on the terlet portal ike those other ones did?**

**Elise: To be honest, I've been visualizing a beach this whole time. That's what my dad always told me tondo when I was really stressed.**

**[Scene change]**

**(The gang arrives at the future, falling.)**

**Knuckles: This isn't the beach! (they fall down) Fuck!**

"That must've hurt." Ruby said.

"I like how Sonic is the only one that landed on his feet." Yang said.

**Sonic: I feel like thinking about something but I don't know what.**

**Knuckles: I can't think about anything, my brain is schismed.**

**Sonic: Yeah. You okay Knuckles?**

**Knuckles: No, my corpus callosum is swollen.**

"His what?" Ruby said.

**Tails: My head's full of jellybeans...**

"Why was that adorable?" Pyrrha said while giggling.

**Sonic: Sounds delicious.**

**Tails: Not really...**

**Shadow: You.**

**Sonic: Huh? I heard someone speak to me!**

"Oh yeah, they were in the future." Jaune said.

**Rouge: Well, hello boys.**

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: These towers are quite tilted.**

**Shadow: Yes. I tilted them myself. See, we tried to make a game battle royale, but anyway-**

**Tails: Look at this. You ruined everything! This is all your fault!**

**Knuckles: Shadow. You- listen, you got any weed on you man? Like, since we're here-**

"The way he said it." Yang said while laughing a little.

**Shadow: No, what are- you the only one who smokes weed here, Knuckles. Except for maybe Rouge.**

**Knuckles: Rouge?**

**Sonic: Oh. Speak for yourself, motherfucker! (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"Okay, the video has a couple of good moments between the boring parts." Blake said.

"Boring?" Ruby said.

"The video is one hour and a half. It's basically a movie. With bad CGI." Weiss said.

**Shadow: Listen, that's not important. Look!**

**Sonic: I'll point at you also.**

**Shadow: I'm not in the sky, dick nips. (laughter)**

Some of them laughed with that.

**[Scene change]**

**Knuckles: Hmm... So, dick nips... where are we going?**

**Sonic: Huh? What's happening in here? (They see the gamer pad moment.)**

**Silver: Uh...**

"Wait, they went to the same moment?" Ren said.

"Why would Eggman send them there?" Ruby said.

**Silver: Oh wait!**

**Mephiles: As you can see, this is the optimum drop point. Wow, look at my orb, it's big and small!**

**Sonic: Wow, that orb looked bih and small.**

"How can something look big and small at the same time?" Pyrrha said.

**Knuckles: What the fuck?**

**Tails: Did you guys see that?**

**Sonic: What is this?**

**Tails: Where'd they go? *gasp* Look, it's a big computer.**

**Knuckles: Wait... what's on it? **

**Tails: Somebody's been playing Fortnite.**

**Knuckles: Aw fuck.**

**Tails: Wait, no. Somebody's been building a video game. A battle royale that- that-**

**Sonic: Oh sweet! I want to be the main character!**

**[Scene change]**

**Shadow: Hmm... got a nice green glowy thing there?**

**Rouge: It's weed, obviously. I was hiding it from Knuckles. He wanted it do bad. Did you see the look on his face?**

"That's just mean!" Ruby said while laughing a little.

**Shadow: Yes, I did, although it might be irradiated. So you might be slowly developing death.**

**Rouge: That's fine.**

**Omega: **_**Meat.**_

**Rouge: We're all gonna die, anyway. What is that? Looks like a weird cow or something.**

**Shadow: Looks like a roboy that we can't possibly imagine what the voice could sound like.**

**Rouge: Maybe if we put weed in it we can make it work good.**

"I can't believe what I'm HEARING right now! That sentence LITERALLY HURTS MY BRAIN!" Weiss said.

**Shadow: No.**

**Rouge: You won't even try it? Just try my idea for once, Sonic! Uh, Shadow. Fuck. (laughter) Just listen to me, like, for once.**

Everyone laughed.

"She confused him for Sonic! I can't take it!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**Rouge: I'm sorry that I'm bad with names!**

**Shadow: This is the last fucking time you confuse me with that blue asshole. You did it once before, you did it again! You did at our wedding, Rouge!**

**Rouge: You just look so much alike!**

"But, he said that he was gay." Ruby said.

**[Scene change]**

**Silver: You know, maybe things aren't so bad. I'm here, I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts.**

**Blaze: Hey Silver.**

**Silver: GODDAMMIT!**

**Blaze: What, what's wrong?**

**Silver: Oh, nothing. Hi, Blaze. How are you?**

**Blaze: I can tell you want some alone time.**

**Silver: I do, but I also feel like I'm just gonna be alone longer than I want if I leave now, so let's go. After I- move my lips a bit more. **

Some of them laughed with that. (I understand why you don't like these reactions.)

**Silver: Y'know, Blaze? Do you ever stop and think about how-... This is really-**

**Blaze: All the time. (Alfred laughing like a cartoon)**

"It happens." Yang said.

**Blaze: All the time, Silver. I can never stop thinking. Sends me into a fit. Always analyz, always so superior to everyone around me. Just-**

"Blaze is so cool." Ruby said.

**Blaze: I know so much, Silver. My brain is too good for this world.**

**[Scene change]**

**Silver: Oh, we're in the snow, now. Hey, look, it's a blue!**

**Blaze: Ah, yes. My echolocation located the emerald. (Alfred laughing like... Idk) As I suspected. I am superior once again.**

"Echolocation?"

"Before anyone asks, I don't have echolocation." Blake said.

"Damnit, how did you know?" Yang said.

"Because you're predictable."

**Silver: Silver. We have work to do. Come with me.**

**Silver: Awh, I wish I was as cool as you.**

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: This place is so hot!**

**Rouge: Knuckles, why the fuck do you have Legos on your shoes?**

**Knuckles: YOU HAD THE WEED THE WHOLE TIME?!**

**Shadow: YOU INTERRUPTED MY BROODING!**

Everyone was laughing.

"They do look like Legos!" Nora said.

**Rouge: Listen. I have the weed and I have what you want, so give us what we want.**

**Knuckles: I need it for my concussion.**

**Sonic: Okay, so hand it over!**

**Knuckles: You can't keep my medicine away from me!**

**Rouge: No, you can't have it until you give us what we asked for-**

**Knuckles: You can't stop our love!**

**Rouge: What? (Alfred laughing again.)**

Everyone was laughing.

"That came out of nowhere." Yang said.

**Shadow: Alright, so this is just getting into crack ship territory.**

**Sonic: Okay, OBVIOUSLY this is ansore point.**

**Tails: We need to go over there, and like fucking chill the fuck out. Everyone is so tense!**

**[Scene change]**

**Rouge: Alright, so we found another-**

**Shadow: HEY, DON'T-! (The Grand Slam appears)**

**Rouge: Whoa!**

**Shadow: What did I just say?!**

"The Grand Slam!" Nora said.

**Grand Slam: (I don't know)**

**Sonic: Smells like pancakes!**

**[Scene change]**

"COME ON!"

"Nora, we didn't see the fight the first time." Ren said.

**Amy: **_**Sneaking, sneaking**_

_**Into the music studio**_

_**Sneaking into Sonic's album**_

**Robots: **_**Fuck, do I hear something? I can't hear anything. Hey, have you started on your new single yet?**_

**Amy: That's his band! Wow. I need to sneak inside the-**

**Elise: Oh!**

"I forgot about her and I really wanted to stay that way." Blake said.

**Amy: Oh! Shit!**

**Elise: Yeah- right back at ya, friend! **

**Robots: (alarm sounds)**

**Amy: What are you doing here?**

**Elise: Uh...**

**Amy:Oh! Aw, shit! What did you do?! What did you do to the album?!**

**Elise: I- I just- sneaked! I snea- okay!**

**Amy: Did you leak the album? Goddamnit!**

**[Scene change]**

**Mephiles: Ah, it's so nice to be outside.**

**Blaze: Sucks to be outside.**

**Silver: Yeah. I- I agree with Blaze. You know, this was kind of nice at first, but now I'm all congested- my eyes hurt.**

**Mephiles: You know, I haven't been in the presence of a fair maiden in... many a year... Blaze, it's so nice to be with you. And you- you BETA ORBITER MALE- I can do without you.**

"Burn!" Yang said.

**Mephiles: But you make me feel stronger and snarter because you're here, so you can stay for now.**

**Silver: Aww...**

"Poor Silver." Pyrrha said.

**Mephiles: Yes, I can feel myself becoming more powerful with all your insolent little whines. (Breaks character) I'm gonna do a little dance.**

"Did he just brake character?" Jaune said.

**[Scene change]**

**Amy: So, let me get this straight. You've been- dating... Sonic. The Hedgehog? The blue one, looks like this?**

"She's so tiny!" Ruby said.

**Elise: Well- I guess? If that's my story arc, then yes! (Amy takes a better look at Elise) (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

**Amy: Yup. I can kill you. (more laughter) I'll rip your fuckin' throat out, wear it as a fuckin' necktie.**

They couldn't stop laughing.

**Elise: Oh- olay? I have no idea what the words you just said mean, but I'm glad we're outside. It's been like... a week. I've lost track of time. I'm not sure if I'm a person.**

**Amy: Hmm... You won't be, in just a second!**

"Stop! Make it stop!" Yang said while laughing, like everyone else.

**Amy: So, tell me. Do you enjoy... rocks? In your stomach? Hahaha, that's a fitting punishment, I think, for stealing my boyfriend! I'll fill your stomach with rocks, twinkle twinkle!**

"That was amazing!"

"Her eyes were sparkling!" Ruby said while laughing.

**Elise: Actually, that's all I've been eating for the past three days.**

**Amy: You've been eating rocks? You're immune. Damnit! Alright, well how about- I run around like this, and then scare you 'til your heart stops! Boo! YEAAAGH! (laughter) I'm scary!**

"She's adorable!"

**Amy: I- aw, fuck it, I can't compete. You have- skin and- hands- that are like, small and dainty and can fit in a butthole! (laughter)**

Everyone laughed again.

"Every hedgehog's dream." Yang said.

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: And she has skin and hands that are small and dainty and can fit in a butthole. She's the girl of my dreams, Shadow!**

**Shadow: I have one of those too. He's very very nice. ZA WARUDO!**

"YES! HE SAID IT!"

**Rouge: You may now kiss the bride.**

**Shadow: Wait, Sonic, which of us is the bride? Sonic!**

**Knuckles: Wait, agh, shit.**

**Shadow: SONIC, I NEED AN ANSWER!**

**Rouge: Come on, Shadow, it's time for the reception.**

"I'm really confused, who's actually straight and who's married with whom?!" Nora said.

**Shadow: No, I don't know which one of us is the bride and that's kind of like a thing for... oh god.**

**Mephiles: Go on, Shadow. Don't you support gay rights? (Penny dying in the background)**

Everyone laughed.

**Shadow: I do!**

**Mephiles: Look at this weird flame in front of me, it's REALLY BIG!**

**Shadow: Oh!**

**Mephiles: Doesn't that intimidate you?!**

**Shadow: Sorry, I had you confused for Sonic. I thought WE were getting married, Mee-philes.**

**Mephiles: Come kiss me, boy!**

**[Scene change]**

**(Sonic and his friends arrive at the present)**

**Sonic: Oh! Alright!**

**Knuckles: AH! FUCK my a-**

**Sonic: Where's that sweet cake?**

**Knuckles: My brain again.**

"But he landed on his feet!" Weiss said.

**Tails: We made it, we're back!**

**Sonic: Tails, did you forget to decorate the pavilion**

**Tails: No! I- I wasn't in charge of decorations, that was Knuckles' job!**

**Sonic: Oh my god, of course. Oh, the invitation! You didn't hand it out!**

**Knuckles: I put it on the ground as a decoration.**

**Sonic: To the best wedding in the century!**

"But he got married in the future." Ruby said.

**Tails: Congratulations, Sonic!**

**Sonic: Oh my god. No.**

**Knuckles: Wait, but you got married in the future.**

**[Scene change]**

**(Elise is surrounded by robots again)**

**Robots: **_**Hello. Hello. Can I have your number?**_

**Penny: (laughing) Are you kidding me?!**

"Again? That's the third time she's kidnapped!" Yang said.

**Robots: **_**Beep. Borp. Instant ramen. Beep. Borp. Robot noises. Anyone's here got weed?**_

**Eggman: You thought you could get away gamer girl. You thought that you could fuckin' escape me, gamer girl. But my IQ is too HIGH!**

**[Scene change]**

**Omega: **_**It looks like that I am trapped in the middle of a forest as Alpha and Omega 3.**_

"Alfred is also doing Omega!" Ruby said.

**Omega: **_**No one else is going to be out her to save me so I must get away immediately.**_

**Rouge: Well, hel~lo nurse!**

"That's weird."

**Omega: **_**Who is this gross bat specimen trying to talk to me? Get away from me, thotticus.**_

"So that's her scientific name." Nora said.

"You have latin names in this world?" Nova said.

"It's an ancient language. Like the rest of the languages from Earth." Ren said.

"So they did exist! Why did you say that they didn't?"

"Look, because the author didn't think of it well, we'll just say that we didn't notice." Nora said.

"Yeah, let's stick with that."

"... What?" Ruby said.

**Rouge: Hi! You are quite a hunk of metal, aren't you?**

**Omega: **_**And you're quite one-polygon titted.**_

"That joke doesn't work now. She has two polygons now." Yang said.

**Rouge: Here, you want some weed?**

**Omega: **_**I do not have lungs, so I cannot smoke weed. But I will take it anyway and put it in my brain cells. Here we go.**_

**Interface: **_**Downloading "Weed. exe"**_

**Omega: HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIII- (laughter) IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII- (Ryan: Keep holding it, keep holding it, keep holding it! Keep holding it! Yes!) IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT. Wow.**

Everyone was laughing.

"Amazing! Just amazing!" Jaune said.

"Alfred is the best!" Yang said.

**Hayley: Oh, fuck me running.**

**Rouge: How does it feel? Are you enjoyin' it? (Awkward silence)**

**Omega: **_**What planet am I on? What's today? My brain cell: Destroyed. My wig is gone.**_

They kept laughing.

**Rouge: Buh-bye~!**

**Omega: **_**I- uh- alright. I'll best be going now. No one will ever follow me with my knife hands.**_

"That was the best scene!" Yang said, while applauding.

**[Scene change]**

**Mephiles: Hello, there, Shadow the Hedgehog! It's so good to see you in my new Fortnite map I'm developing.**

"Are we still doing the Fortnite thing?" Ruby said.

**Shadow: I was actually meaning to ask you a question. Are you seeing anyone right now? Because there's no one sexier than myself.**

**Mephiles: (laughs) Why? Are you- are you interested, because, um, I was actually thinking you and I are pretty similar.**

**Shadow: Bruh, I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't interested.**

**Mephiles: Check out my- look at my cool shield. It's made of 17,000 polygons and it's also... p-purple and glowy, which is your favourite color, I've been told. Regardless, as I- as I was saying previously, this is my new Fortnite map. I'm developing- I'm developing it in this volcano and people will play it in real life. If you die in the game, you die in real life, Shadow the Hedgehog.**

"Like SAO?" Ruby said.

**Shadow: How did you know Sword Art Online was my favourite anime? You should have known that I had terrible taste.**

Some of them laughed with that.

"But it's Kill la Kill!"

**Mephiles: I know more about you than you could even compreh- is that Sonic? Heow the fuck did he get here? (Alfred laughs again) What the fuck is he doing in my shield?**

"That's not Sonic, that's Shadow." Jaune said.

**Mephiles: You know him, right? You guys are exes or something. Get him out of my fucking shield. **

**Shadow: No, don't you see?**

**Mephiles: If this relationship is going to work you can't bring your exes. You know how uncomfortable that makes me, sweetie. Please. Let him- just go- make him go away.**

"I can't take them seriously when they talk like that. Why are talking like that?" Weiss said.

"Because they're gay and gay people are talking girly and horny every time, that's why everyone hates them." Nova said.

"All the time?" Blake said.

"All the time."

**Shadow: Mephistopheles, please. I didn't know I was marrying him. I only thought it was you because you look so similar.**

**Mephiles: My name is Memphis Tennessee and I will have you respect my name. Here he is; he's still here. Why- why is he here? Lile, how did he even get in there?**

**Shadow: I don't know. Maybe we put a chicken bone in there or something and he just couldn't resist.**

**Mephiles: He is that stupid. I'm glad we can still bond over how dumb your ex is. (He transforms and blasts Shadow to a pillar.)**

**Shadow: Ugh! That felt great. (laughter)**

"Stop making this sexual." Jaune said.

**Mephiles: I know exactly how you like it, baby. And now, check it out. This is my new Steven Universe Crystal Gem cosplay. (laughter)**

**Shadow: God!**

**Omega: **_**I need you to stop right now, for you are not a true gem. You are nothing but a fraud. **_**(He shoots Mephiles.)**

**Mephiles: Oh my god. (violent choking noises) What the fuck. Oh my god. I told you not to invite your asshole friends over and now I- I-**

**Shadow: I've never met this hunk of metal but I love him.**

**Mephiles: No, Shadow. No, look at- look at my eyes! I'm so fucking high right now. He's just here and I got secondhand smoke inebriated. I'm fucking leaving. I'm going back to my parents house until you get your asshole friends in order. Fuck you.**

**Shadow: Who the fuck are you?**

**Omega: **_**Shadow, wait, please don't- **_**(they go to the present now) **_**Oh god. Shadow, I only came to admit my true feelings for you.**_

**Shadow: Ah. A world where everyone loves me.**

**Omega: **_**It's everything about you. From your hot sauce hair, to your jet boots. **_**(Shadow: Mhm.)**_** Everything that you do is- are you even listening to me, Shadow? **_**(laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"That's mean! He did all of this and he gets ignored." Ruby said.

**Rouge: Hello~! I don't- uh... (They all look at each other awkwardly.) (laughter)**

**Shadow: Hey.**

**Omega: **_**Oh god. It's young thotticus once again.**_

**Rouge: Well, it is quite a pleasure to meet you here. Didn't expect you to be here, Shadow.**

**Shadow: I didn't expect to be here either, but here you are with your-**

**Omega: **_**Fortnite: Battle Royale will be the biggest game of 2018 if we do not stop that giant.**_

**Shadow: Thank you, YouTube algorithm. Now go ahead and screw over some more creators.**

**Rouge: Wait, Shadow!**

**Shadow: I said I'm going against YouTube now. That's- that's my character arc now, baby.**

"The hero we want." Nora said.

**Omega: **_**You look like YouTube Red, why are you making fun of me?**_

**Rouge: Shadow, let me help you! Don't do this all by yourself. We were going to make the best game together! (scoffs) We'd make such a good team. Honestly, name a more iconic duo.**

**Omega: **_**Do you have any more weed?**_

"Mario and Luigi?" Ruby said.

"Sonic and Tails?" Jaune said.

"Tom and Jerry?" Nova said.

**[Scene change]**

**(Shadow breaks into Eggman's train(?))**

**Shadow: Little does she know, I hold the game file and-...**

**Eggman: Mmm, the game is almost finished. (laughter)**

**Shadow: Hey Eggman, I found the computer room!**

**Eggman: I'm actually Todd Howard now cuz I sell all the video games.**

**Shadow: That's what they all say. Now quickly, I need you to publish my game.**

**Eggman: Shadow, you are my greatest creation of all time from the battle royale (Shadow: What?) and now look at you.**

**Shadow: Wait, hold on. Are you my dad?**

**Eggman: (chuckles) Where do you think you got all your characteristics?**

"Of being an edgelord?" Blake said.

**Shadow: Of being an asshole? That would explain a lot.**

**Eggman: (chuckles) Look, the only thing I didn't give you is my realistic four penetrating nipples coming off my chest, Shadow.**

"No one would want that." Weiss said.

**Eggman: That's all you don't have. But what you do have is the battle. The experience to be a true Fortnite twink player.**

"Twink?!" Yang said.

"What is a twink?" Nora said.

"He's the player that asks from high level players items." Jaune said.

"That doesn't sound that bad." Pyrrha said.

"Only if you actually need help. A twink basically uses them all the time, without doing anything. They don't try to level, they always take advantage of high level players." Ruby said.

**Shadow: Well, if you're my daddy, it makes the last dub horrifying. God.**

"No! Not his dick again!" Weiss said.

**[Scene change]**

**(then sonic saves elise from a train but there's legitimately no cutscene that conveys this information trust me i looked for ages)**

**Chase: Okay.**

**Ryan: Alright, cool.**

**Alfred: Alright, okay. Welp.**

**[Scene change]**

**Sonic: Elise! I'm so glad I saved you from that train! (laughter)**

That made them laugh a little.

**Elise: Oh, me too. It was so fast. I was so scared.**

**Sonic: I know. Woah! (He avoids another blast from Silver.)**

**Silver: Hey, I saw you rescue Elise from that train. It was really cool. Can we be friends?**

**Sonic: Uh, no, I didn't like you very much. You're weird.**

"For a hero, Sonic is an asshole." Yang said.

**Silver: Awwww... now I'm sad! (Shoots a blast at Sonic, which he avoids.)**

**Sonic: (screaming)**

**Silver: Take that! Uuh... (He paralyzed Sonic.) This is what a cool does, right?**

**Elise: How could you do this? (She gets kidnapped again.) (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"Are you kidding?! Again?!" Weiss said while laughing.

**Eggman: Why don't you come with me again?**

**Sonic: No! Not again! (Shadow breaks the paralysis somehow and stands between them.)**

**Shadow: Hey. Oh, I haven't met you twink.**

"So Silver is the twink?" Ruby said.

**Silver: Wait. You! You're the one!**

**Shadow: Who did what? Wait, what'd I do? I mean, what didn't I do? I mean look at me. I'm so hot, ya know?**

**Silver: You made a rap so fire...**

**Sonic: This doesn't change you leaving me at the altar! Wait, I guess it does, see ya!**

**Shadow: Hey.**

**Silver: I'm gonna take you out to save the world!**

**Shadow: Good luck with that, I have weed. See ya. (Shadow uses Chaos Control, goes behind Silver and roundhouse kicks him in the head.) (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

**Silver: (whimpers in pain)**

**Shadow: Don't you know? Weed makes you fast. That's a factual thing.**

**Silver: What's a weed?**

"He doesn't know? His do is literally weed." Blake said.

**Shadow: Oh my god, you can tell you're white... Anyway, I finished putting the game- I sent it to Eggman. He's going to upload it soon.**

**Silver: No... It's too late now. I can't go back in time again because... I can't go back in time again. That's just it. But maybe this blue will save the world, maybe? Here.**

**Shadow: Woah. Green!**

**Silver: Blue!**

**Shadow: What did we just do? (A portal was created) Did we do that together? Was that like a gay thing?**

"I hate that. When two men or women do something together that looks weird or they have an emotional moment, people always say that they're gay. Not because they're friends, but gay." Blake said.

**Silver: It's always a gay thing. I thought that's just how it worked... I'm gonna go.**

**Shadow: God bless you, Sonic Team. God bless you. Well, if you need to go, then go. I'm gonna chill out here and make sure that it gets picked up by some big successful game development company that'll be around for a long time, like Blizzard.**

**Silver: I was talking about taking a shit.**

"And he created a time portal to shit?" Yang said.

**Shadow: What? Okay... go ahead. I don't know why you need a portal to take a shit but, I mean, if you want to send your shit to the future, then... go ahead. I'm not judgemental. At all. (He jumps in the portal.)**

**Silver: Wait, no, don't go in that! That's the toilet! (laughter)**

**[Scene change]**

**Eggman: Now, you are going to play this game, Elise, or else I'm going to push you off of this fucking-**

**Elise: I mean, I could jump. That could happen too.**

**Eggman: Or I could push you off of this polygon mountain. Now, what is the choice, Elise? You can either die, die, or-**

**Sonic: No! Don't do either of those!**

**Elise: Okay, I will do my own thing.**

**Eggman: Go do it. (She falls down.) NO ELISE! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! (Sonic catches her.)**

**Sonic: Woah! You scared the hell out of me!**

"Aw man! She survived!"

**Eggman: Give me back ****my GAMER GIRL, SONIC!**

Some of them laughed.

"Earrape always gets me!" Nora said.

**Sonic: She's my gamer girl now. Ain't that right, baby? Come with me. Thumbs up!**

**Elise: Oh, my legs. They weak. My legs are weak. Yeah, good job. Good job, Sonic. I'm proud of you. Yeah that was kind of scary. All right, let's- let's bounce.**

**Sonic: Oh, you want to play God of War? Huh? **

**Elise: Huh?**

"To be honest, I want to play God of War." Pyrrha said.

"Oh, you're gonna love it." Yang said.

**Sonic: Who's that? (An army of robots is coming.) Instant ramen!**

**Robots: **_**Find them. Find the gamer girl. We have to find the gamer girl.**_

**Sonic: (The graphics change) Oh! Wow, you look much better, Elise! (laughter)**

"Yeah, now that the graphics changed."

**Elise: Oh yeah, the filter changed. It's great isn't it?**

**Sonic: I love Instagram. Let's go to Snapchat.**

**Elise: It's amazing what natural sunlight in a filtered game will do, right?**

**Sonic: I know, right? Like, you know, you just need that vitamin D.**

"Yeah, she needs that _vitamin D_, am I right?"

"Yang, stop making this more weird than it already is!" Ruby said.

**Elise: My skin looks amazing now. Oh my god.**

**Sonic: I know. Oh, do you exfoliate, Elise?**

**Elise: Well, yes, I- I guess.**

**Sonic: That's my tree.**

**Elise: Oh my gosh. It's beautiful. I wanna hug it. Can I hug your tree? Is that allowed? Do I have to ask permission?**

**Sonic: Oh, well, I guess. Just, you know, don't get to friendly with it.**

"You know, there's a student here that is very friendly with plants." Weiss said.

"Really?" Nova said.

"He brings a plant with him everywhere."

"I think it has to do with his semblance? Maybe he can talk to plants?" Ren said.

"That's cool. Talking with the trees." Ruby said.

**Elise: Okay, I promise. I'll keep my hands to myself then. I'll just put my hands back here and admire it from afar.**

**Sonic: Well, you can't hug without hands, Elise. Make up your damn mind!**

**Elise: I did! I decided that cosplay wasn't consent, and I'm just gonna thank you for bringing me to your tree. It's so wonderful. It's putting me in all the right moods... of being... happy.**

**Sonic: Well, what are some of those moods, huh?**

"She just said happy." Blake said.

**Elise: Well happy is one, like I just said, and um... (laughter) Hungry. Hungry is a good mood. I've eaten nothing but rocks, as I've said, for a while. Some plants would be a nice change to rocks.**

"So now she's a vegan?" Yang said.

**(Flashback, with holy music)**

"Okay, random flashback." Ruby said.

**Duke: My child. (laughter) My baby girl. Don't worry.**

**(The flashback ends)**

**Elise: Dad used to feed me plants. (laughter) It was nice. I think I'm starting to hallucinate. It's been a while. (laughter) I just keep getting kidnapped.**

That made them laugh a little.

**Sonic: How about a hod dog? No additives.**

**Elise: That sounds wonderful. Um... I'm gonna try not to cry now. Because that sounds- I'm- I need a minute. I need a minute, Sonic.**

"Why not?"

"Because she will release the sun god and time and space will be destroyed. She's the Iblis Trigger." Nova said.

"... What?"

**Sonic: No, let it out. It's fine. Oh! (She hugs him.)**

**Elise: Thank you... Thank you.**

**Sonic: Oh, yeah, I mean... Yo, you got to support your friends.**

"Friendzoned!" Nora said.

**[Scene change]**

**(Shadow and Silver arrive at the past.)**

**Silver: Ow... (whimpering) It hurts...**

**Shadow: Sewer system's a lot more intricate than I expected.**

**(In the special lab where the yellow is.)**

**Scientist 1: We gotta find the fucking purple power, dude. How we gonna get the power to the purple, dude?**

**Duke: Well, you better find it quick because if we don't find it, we're not gonna be able to play Fortnite!**

**Scientist 2: Sir! There's too much yellow energy to counteract the purple!**

**Scientist 1: My mom's getting back in like 20 minutes, dude. You have to finish this.**

**Duke: I don't give a shit, you better fucking fix it!**

"That voice when it swears it's so stupid." Ruby said while giggling.

**Duke: Wait... (Little Elise comes.) What are you doing here?! Get out! (Explosion)**

Everyone laughed.

**Shadow: What was that?!**

**Silver: I don't know! It sounded like yellow! (laughter)**

**Shadow: I knew there was too much yellow in this world. If I could do anything, I would eradicate 3 colors. Yellow, silver and then silver again. (laughter)**

"Yellow is a nice colour, shut up." Yang said.

"Poor Silver." Ruby said.

**Silver: Oh... you meant me...**

**Shadow: No, no, not like you Silver, just like uh... There's something about it like... yhe person that silver kind of is. Okay, yeah. No, I don't like you Silver. What are you looking at?**

**Silver: This is very gross, but I can't look away. Ya know, it be like that sometimes.**

**Shadow: Oh god, it's like a pimple popping video.**

**Silver: (whimpers) I hate those. (They hear coughing)**

**Shadow: Oh god, I know that coughing.**

**Silver: Oh, is it the weed? Is that what that is?**

**Shadow: Close. It's my lover.**

"Is that a remix of We Like to Party in the background?" Yang said.

**Duke: Take this. Protect my daughter from the gamers! Take this gamer reflective stone.**

**Silver: I'll go check on the purple.**

**Shadow: That's not weed and you don't even look cool!**

**Duke: And now... I'll die.**

**Mephiles: (coughing)**

**Shadow: Oh, god. Is that what I look like when I inevitably melt from over saturation of capital- capitalism? (laughter) I dunno. I guess that's where I'm going. I had a YouTube thing going. Oh great emerald, tell me what I'm supposed to fucking do in this dub!**

**Mephiles: Shadow, I'm trying to reform, help. Baby, help me.**

**Shadow: Oh, it's you!**

**Mephiles: I'm made of vape smoke babe, come on.**

**Shadow: Oh, wait, he's made of- wait, have you turned to vaping?**

"I don't think vaping is unhealthy." Jaune said.

"Vaping is as bad as smoking actual cigarettes. It's especially worse when you're already a smoker." Pyrrha said.

**Mephiles: Yeah babe, I'm made of purple jewel stuff. C'mon.**

**Shadow: Is that a really wise move? Well, I suppose this time, but you better cut that vapiing out. Just kidding, you're getting thermosed baby!**

**Mephiles: No, don't put me in your red face! No, don't vape me!**

**Shadow: Get in the thermos. Get in the thermos. Get in the- get im? Get in the thermos. Get in the thermos! Get in! Pokéball that motherfuckin' vape!**

**(He's a phantom)**

**Mephiles: (moaning)**

"Does he have to moan?" Weiss said.

**Shadow: Now I carry around my boyfriend wherever I desire. (laughter)**

Everyone started laughing.

**Shadow: And what do you know? The perfect shape. (more laughter)**

They were laughing like crazy.

"That line was gold!" Yang said while laughing.

**[Scene change]**

**Silver: (whining) I leave for 5 minutes, and this happens?!**

**Duke: You've got to take care of the- take care of the explosion, or we'll all die. You have a high five on your forehead, that means you are an epic gamer. I'm going to take my daughter away so that way we can't die. Sweetie, remember, listen.**

**Silver: Don't go toward it! What's wrong with you?**

**Duke: Don't-... shut up. I'm gonna resurrect her right now. Baby, take the gamer gems. (laughter)**

**Silver: Wha? Cool!**

**Duke: I can't believe this... by the power of gaming... I fucking live, and so will my daughter. Now, gamers, unite! Bring back my daughter! **

Everyone was laughing.

"The power of gaming compells you!" Ruby said.

**ChaosEmerald1: **_**What's up, guys? This is ChaosEmerald1. Just about to resuscitate this gal. Uh, I've never seen this kind of game before.**_

"Oh come on, he's streaming it? Unbelievable." Yang said.

"She looks like mayonnaise with ketchup hair." Nora said, getting some laughs.

**ChaosEmerald1: **_**I think the forced diversity is a little much. I mean, why have a girl as your main character?**_

**Duke: It worked! Oh my god! (choked crying) Wait. Wait. The gamer piss. It killed her! (laughter)**

"The what?!" Ruby said while laughing.

"You know, gamer girl pee." Nova said.

"It's disgusting. First bath water and now piss?!" Weiss said.

"And people actually buy that stuff?" Pyrrha said.

"Unfortunately. You two could become rich, you know." Nova said.

"Shut up!" Ruby and Yang said, both of them blushing.

**Duke: No! Elise! (laughter) The gamers... Silver... Take her to E3 and see the-**

**Silver: I don't think I can carry her. Oh! She's very heavy. I'm not strong.**

**Duke: Silver. Silver. Just think about where you were before you-...**

**Silver: I- where I was everything was on fire...**

**Duke: My baby girl gamer... (laughter)**

They were holding their laughter.

"This voice makes it worse." Pyrrha said.

**Duke: You'll find your peace in another- (choking crying)**

**Silver: This seems really private. I feel like I shouldn't be here for this.**

**Duke: (choking crying) Shut the fuck up, I'm talking to my daughter.**

"I can't hold it!" Ruby said, while holding her laughter.

**Duke: Okay...**

**Silver: My arms hurt.**

**Duke: Thank you so much... (laughter) Your hair looks like ketchup, and you have the pale face of mayonnaise, but you will live.**

"Stop it!" Weiss said while holding her laughter.

**Duke: I know you will.**

**Silver: If you don't wrap it up, I'm gonna drop her. This, uh, it really hurts.**

**Duke: Goodbye... my ba- (He dies)**

"Why did he die?" Blake said.

**Silver: Okay. I just gotta... urgh... oh god. Hold on... girl, I... I'll just... carry... you... aargh-**

"Stop whining, creampuff!" Nora said.

**[Scene change]**

**Silver: (whining and panting)**

**Shadow: Hey.**

**Silver: I can't... feel my arms!**

**Shadow: I see you got yourself somebody. Not like romantically, because that'd be weird.**

**Silver: It hurts! Oh no... Oh no! Where do I put this girl?! (crying, sighs of relief)**

**Shadow: Oh, mood.**

**Silver: Finally... Oh my god... (laughter)**

They couldn't hold it and started laughing.

**Shadow: What do you think, boo?**

**Mephiles: I think you should let me out of your fucking vaper, babe.**

**Shadow: Hm... Hey, think she like vaping?**

"She's a little kid!" Weiss said.

**Mephiles: No, she's like 11.**

**Silver: No, that's... I don't think that's-**

**Shadow: I think we should let her vape. Give her the freedom to vape. All living things deserve freedom, Sliver.**

"Did he just called him Sliver?" Yang said.

**Shadow: Freedom to weed, to vape, to Fortnite. That's what we're all tying into, I think. That's a central message.**

**Silver: I only know one of those is... (The portal to the present opens.) Can you carry me-?**

**Shadow: No. **

**Silver: ****Oh... Okay... (laughter)**

**Elise: (tired moans)**

**Silver: How did she sleep through all of that? (laughter) Well whatever. I wish I could sleep. Bye.**

**[Scene change]**

**(The ice cream airship.)**

**Citizens: Oh my god, there's a ship in the sky! It's the ice cream ship! Is Todd Howard driving an ice cream truck?**

**Amy: Oh fuck! That's where I put my dildo! Aw damnit! Aw shit, I gotta go tell Sonic! Fuuuuuuu-**

**(At the castle)**

**Royal Stuff: Uh ma'am? Uh ma'am? Ma'am? Ma'am-**

**Elise: I've been told how to think about the ocean when I'm stressed, and I'm looking at that, and I'm real stressed.**

"How about you save your kingdom?" Weiss said.

**Royal Stuff 2: Ma'am, you're the regent!**

**Elise: I'm just gonna go meditate. I'mma think of the ocean... Bye guys. I'm a peacin' out. I'll let you deal with this.**

"But she's the ruler!" Ruby said.

"Can somebody kidnap her already?" Blake said.

**Royal Stuff: Ma'am you're the ruler of this kingdom! You have to act!**

**[Scene change]**

**(Silver arrives at the present.)**

**Silver: Ugh... Oh, now my legs hurt. Everything-**

**Blaze: Oh.**

**Silver: Blaze, help me. Everything hurts.**

**Blaze: So, did you have fum on your little adventures?**

**Silver: No! I didn't! I didn't have fun atball. My eyeliner's ruined. My arms hurt. I got kicked in the head. I hate everything and I didn't even know I could do that. I'm usually just sad.**

"Why did they have to make him a crybaby?" Ruby said.

**Blaze: That's okay, baby. I know you're lost without me. Be sure never to leave my side again, okay?**

**Silver: Okay...**

**[Scene change]**

**Omega: **_**Take that. And that! You motherfucker! You steal Shadow away from me, I take your fucking skull! You motherfucking bitch! **_**(laughter)**

Everyone was laughing.

"He's shooting Mephiles!" Yang said while laughing.

**Mephiles: Yo, you chill the hell out dude, I'm too high for this. All right, anyway, uh... This is the last time I try to have bots play on my Fortnite server.**

**Omega: **_**You are nothing but a Fortnite PR fake and an actual diamond accessory.**_

"What does that even mean?" Weiss said.

**Mephiles: What the fuck does that even mean? Those string of words just absolutely mean nonsense to me. You are so far below me, you lowly little trash can man.**

**Omega: **_**You are nothing but a fake game writer. You will never find happiness you PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIT! **_**(gunfire)**

"That's the coolest robot ever!" Ruby said. 'But not as cool as Penny.'

**Mephiles: Ow! Dickhead! What the fuck?! I'm gonna lay down. I need a second after that. Jesus lord... Ugh, Im turning into vape juice, no-!**

That made them laugh a little.

**Omega: **_**Shadow, my baby. I am so sorry. I had to get rid of him because he was gonna get rid of everything. Also does Rouge have more weed? 'Cause I need that weed. My fucking system modules were breaking. My DDR4 was breaking on the inside. But I really love you Shadow.**_

**Shadow: Look, I don't know what your DDR machine is but-**

**[3 minutes later]**

**Shadow: That was an amazing dance!**

"Huh?"

**Rouge: It was so good. You're an icon! You're gonna be more famous than Freddie Mercury!**

"And he can dance?! I want a dancing robot!"

**Omega: **_**I've been doing the JB block boy and b-boy dances all of my life. Also no one knows how to do the shuffle like I do.**_

"Yeah, there's no way he can breakdance." Yang said.

**Omega: **_**Listen Shadow, I'm gonna come out and just say it to you because... my brain broken, and my heart knows what it desires. Shadow. You are the one.**_

**Shadow: Wait, uh, Rouge do you hear something? (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"That's just mean! Why are you ignoring him?" Ruby said.

**Rouge: Uh, only the sound of... I don't know. The ocean, I guess?**

**Omega: **_**Is this the friendzone?**_

"Aww, that's so sad." Nora said.

"Why are you all sad? Why are you all taking this seriously?" Weiss said.

**Rouge: Unfortunately, yes. This is what the friendzone feels like. Something I've felt more than I care to say.**

**Shadow: I don't know how to reciprocate against someone who's that amazing of a dancer but- listen we have more things to worry about right now, troupe.**

**[Scene change]**

**Eggman: (evil snicker) Back in my lair once more.**

"Now she got kidnapped off-screen?" Yang said.

**Eggman: How many times are you gonna run? I've captured you 17 different times!**

**Elise: I feel like it's going to be at least 18. (laughter)**

Everyone was laughing.

"Oh shit!"

"The audacity!" Weiss said while laughing.

**Eggman: The caucasity of this bitch. (laughter) You run and run. I'm an alpha male gamer! (laughter) She be like "This asshole"... I love Fortnite. Without me, you wouldn't even exist! Without me, you wouldn't be able to contain the demon because of gaming. Look around you. Imagine: Dragons. (laughter) Now imagine it? Gaming, on Fortnite BR.**

**Elise: I'm imagining the ocean, because, I've established that when I don't want to be somewhere, that's what I think of.**

**Eggman: Frank Ocean can't save you now, sweetheart. No one's coming for you. No one's after you. I know what your father wanted for you. And I know he wanted you to be a gamer. And wanted you to be saved by games. So you're gonna do this whether you like it or not. Now let me log on to my Epic Games account, and let's see what we can-**

**Computer:**_** Welcome to EpicGames. com. Beep. Computer room located.**_

**Eggman: Now let's see... If someone hacked into my Fortnite account, I'm going to have a birth of cactuses out of my asshole.**

"And he gets hacked, doesn't he?" Blake said.

**Computer: **_**Currently being hacked.**_

"Of course."

**Eggman: (demonic high-pitched screeching)**

Everyone laughed.

**[Scene change]**

**(Robots stop Sonic.)**

**Sonic: Welp, gotta take care of these guys. Who are you?**

**Robots: **_**I'mma kill you. Fuck you. Aggghh! **_**(Silver stops them.)**

**Sonic: Oh my god, it's Blue Man Group!**

**Robots: **_**It is no use.**_

**Silver: Oh, I missed, um, bye!**

**Robots: **_**Oh no-! (crashing noises)**_

**Silver: I'm sorry about mistaking you for the rapper: Shadow the Hedgehog.**

"Apparently a lot of people do that." Weiss said.

**Sonic: That's okay. My work is much better though, right?**

**[Scene change]**

**Shadow: Hm, the desert. Count how many sand is here, Omega. That's your first mission.**

**Omega: **_**Okay. **_**(laughter) **_**1\. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30.**_

**Rouge: Why the fuck would you make him do that?**

**Shadow: It passes the time.**

**Rouge: It's gonna take so long! (laughter) Shadow! It's gonna be so annoying! (more laughter)**

**Shadow: (holding his laughter) I'm curious what the biggest number is.**

**Rouge: No! He's just gonna be counting forever! (even more laughter)**

**Shadow: Perhaps... but it's- (they can't stop laughing)**

**Rouge: Shadow, what have you brought? This is your fault!**

**Omega: **_**There are only 30 million sand particles in this desert.**_

**Shadow: See? That was easy.**

**Rouge: Oh fuck... Oh my god.**

They were laughing like crazy. Half of them have fallen on the floor laughing.

"They've done it! They've done it again!" Jaune said while laughing.

"I can't breathe!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"Alfred, you son of a bitch! You're a gift to this world!" Yang said while laughing.

**[Scene change]**

**Mephiles: You know, being an independent-**

**Shadow: Oh my god, the purple!**

**Mephiles: Shh, please don't interrupt me. Being an independent game developer has made me realize I have so much more potential. Please support my Patreom in my new start-up industry. I will be selling and renti- What?**

**Shadow: Omega! Count the- count the number of grains of sand in this room!**

**Omega: **_**Okay. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5- **_**(He continues counting in the background.)**

"Not again!" Weiss said while laughing, like everyone else.

**Rouge: Shadow! What the fuck dude?**

**Mephiles: I was going to compete with him to see who could count better, but apparently he's already on it, so, whatever. Anyway. Fucking... okay-**

**Shadow: Okay, you can stop now!**

**Mephiles: Look, just listen to me and I will give you this orange juice gem.**

**Shadow: Just kidding, keep counting! It's your one mission. (Omega keeps counting.) Now listen... Listen here. You won't be able to stop the power of this game. We have mass computing power as you can see by our robot.**

**Mephiles: (evil laugh) You silly feeble-minded little gay. I am so far beyond Fortnite. I have moved on and my stardom will end the world! (He pushes them back with his power.) As you can see, this power is already farther than you could look. Everything is purple! It's great! Oh my god, look at how high resolution I am! (Melts) Aah, no, ack! (dying noises)**

**Shadow: This is- his game is better, it looks way better! However, he paid the price of his solenoid greatest game. Wait, how'd I get this again? Didn't I leave it in the past?**

**Rouge: Get him, Shadow. He's our gaming competition.**

"I thought they gave it up." Ruby said.

**Rouge: With him out of the way-**

**Omega: **_**It's time for him to go. No more Fortnite.**_

**Mephiles: (Silly voice) I'm just a little blob boy now, fuck you! Hehe, this is what you sound like as a cloud. Fuck yo- Oh no! Sh-!**

**Shadow: Gotta catch 'em all, baby! Cuz he's... Shadow. (The Amiibo explodes and everyone's freaking out.)**

**Shadow: Was NOT expecting explosions!**

**Rouge: What just happened? What did you do?**

**Omega: **_**He went to the jar. Never to be seem again-**_

**Mephiles: (reforming sounds) Oh my god, my neck. I need to see a chiropractor. Oh my... oh my god. Oh my god, did you see that?**

That made them laugh a little.

"That was kinda disturbing." Jaune said.

**Mephiles: Fuck you for making me go through that dude!**

**Shadow: He's right! 10,000 years really made you such a crick in the neck!**

Only Yang laughed with that.

**Mephiles: You guys suck. Really I can't believe I used to date you. You used to be cool dude.**

**Shadow: Have you met me? I was never cool.**

**Mephiles: Yeah. You're sexy as fuck, but you're also a dickhead. You've stuck me in your jewel. Twice.**

**Shadow: You know what they say-**

**Mephiles: I don't know what they say, and I don't care what they say. Look at my army of Me's. I'm going to fuck me, because I can't trust anybody with my penis except for myself. Can you believe me? Have you fucked a clone? It's great. They know all the right places, and I have 10 million of them to go around. (laughter)**

'I wonder how good I would be if I had... wait, what am I thinking?' Blake thought.

**Shadow: But Mephiles! Fucking you is my job!**

**Mephiles: Not amymore, baby! Not ever since I became an independent game-**

**Shadow: Joke's on you. This is a dream come true for me.**

**Mephiles: Would you shut the fuck up? I swear to god, I didn't invite you to my house. I have it- I put it on Facebook that I was having a homecoming party because+**

**Shadow: Omega, count how many mouths he has!**

**Omega: **_**Okay... **_**(laughter)**

"But he doesn't have any." Ruby said.

**Shadow: Yeah, exactly! You ain't got no mouths, bitch! (He removes his inhibitor rings) Hyah!**

"Oh shit, a fight!" Yang said.

**Mephiles: Oh, we have to get him before he leaves. He's car- he's crashing my great fucking home warming party- oh my god! (Shadow unleashes his power and dashes throw the the clones.) No! What the fuck? My clones!**

**Shadow: Haaaaaaaaah! Teriaaaaaaa!**

**Mephiles: No! Dickhead! You're the worst!**

"That was amazing!" Ruby said.

**[Scene change]**

**Eggman: God- wait- what's happening? Wait- no! The battle royale! It's being- it's being destroyed!**

**Computer: **_**Currently being hacked.**_

**Eggman: What happened? What's going on? Why is Fortnite being destroyed-**

**Computer: **_**Your account is compromised!**_

**Eggman: NO, GODDAMNIT! I spent so many hours getting all those skins! The dances! (From outside) They're all gone! NOOOO!**

**Computer: **_**Your social security is someone else's! **_**(Sonic sees the ship crashing down.)**

"Wait, she actually dies?" Pyrrha said.

**Sonic: Oh! I wanted a SpongeBob popsicle!**

**Silver: I like the Bubbles ones.**

**Sonic: ... You WHAT?!**

**Silver: You know, from Powerpuff Girls?**

**Sonic: Oh, I never thought someone could be so misguided... AUGHHH! (slams fist down in anger)**

Everyone laughed.

"Oh man, that brought many memories. I was always taking the Captain Volt ones." Jaune said.

"You too?! It was the best!" Ruby said.

"With shocking lime flavour!"

"Which wasn't shocking at all! More like false advertising." Nora said.

"Wait, you actually thought that it would shock you?" Blake said.

"I had a lot of expectations as a kid."

**Silver: Yeah... that's my name and my game. Wait, how does that saying go? Uh, I'll shut up, now.**

**Blaze: Don't be so hard on him, Sonic.**

**Sonic: I'll be as hard on him as I wanna be.**

"That sounded very suggestive." Yang said.

**Silver: That's very suggestive, but also, if you're offering, then I'd be happy to. Ya know?**

**Sonic: ... What? (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

**Silver: Oh, um okay, I'm sorry. Have a diamond.**

**Sonic: Yeah! Time travel! Again!**

**Silver: (whimpers) (The portal opens.)**

**Sonic: Silver, you know what? You're a twink. I'm gonna go smoke some weed now.**

"He really is a twink." Yang said.

**Silver: How long were you waiting to say that?**

**Sonic: The whole dub, baby!**

**Silver: Yeah, I figured. Okay, have fun. (laughter)**

**Ryan: That is the tagline of this dub.**

**Alfred: Just... Silver is a twink.**

**Silver: Wait, nevermind, I'm coming with you.**

**Sonic: Oh! Wait, did we time- (yelps) (Silver and Blaze went to their timeline.)**

"They went at their timeline? How does that work?" Weiss said.

**Silver: Oh, what the heck? What are we doing here? And why am I still holding it?**

**Blaze: You're holding it because we have a job to do, Silver T. Hedgehog.**

"Wait... their actual middle names are The?" Blake said.

**Silver: Is the job to be gross?**

**Blaze: No. **

**Silver: ****Oh, bit we're really good at that.**

**Blaze: The job is to facilitate maAA- (Back to Sonic) (laughter)**

**Sonic: Woah!**

**Clock: Dong, dong, dong. (Back to Silver)**

**Silver: Oh no...**

**Blaze: I'm going to sacrifice myself Silver.**

**Silver: No, please, you're too good- you're not only too good for this world, but also any other world that could possibly exist. Here, let me try hitting it with- (yelps of pain)**

"The pancakes are too strong!" Nora said.

**Blaze: Silver, there's no other way! You'll die!**

**Silver: (cries in pain) No, I can do this! I can be- I can be a cool boy! I'm cool!**

**Blaze: Silver, quit it! Silver! Quit it! Silver! Who will pass on my legacy if you are gone? (laughter) It's my job, Silver. I will take on this burden. Treat me like a goddess!**

"Shut up." Yang said.

**Silver: I think I already did but okay.**

**Blaze: Silver! When they talk about me in the future, make sure my name is something cool. Like... Jessica Grimdock.**

"But her name is cool!" Ruby said.

**Silver: Or Blaze?**

**Blaze: Yes! The coolest name in the world! That was a test Silver, and you passed.**

**Silver: Finally, I did something right!**

**Blaze: Silver?**

**Silver: What- what is it? What is it, Blaze?**

**Blaze: I'm almost proud of you.**

"Almost?" Weiss said.

**Silver: (gasp) That's the most proud of me you've ever been!**

**Blaze: When you think of me, think of approximate gratitude! HUUGH!**

**Silver: Noooo! (She turns aetherial, meaning that she died.)**

**Blue: Oh my fucking god, she's fucking dead! (laughter)**

"Why do the coolest have to die?" Ruby said.

**?: Bye Felicia.**

**Blaze: Wait, that wasn't me saying that! WHO'S THERE?!**

**Silver: She went out the way we all wantbto. By turning into mist and sparkles after holding two diamonds. (The dark clouds disappear.) Oh, it's so bright out now. I wanna go inside.**

"Yeah, bring the chaos back." Yang said.

**Blaze: (echo) You are still my bitch... **

**Silver: I'll always will be. (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

**[Scene change]**

**(Sonic is trying to find an escape, while carrying Elise.)**

**Sonic: Woah! Oh! We gotta escape from- somewhere?! How did we get here?**

**Elise: Go that way!**

**Sonic: Okay, but it looks like we're gonna have to ju-jump!**

**Elise: What else is new? You've done that five times.**

**Sonic: What? I can't hear you, it's loud! Here we go! Woah!**

**Elise: Woah! **

**Sonic: We might do this. We're gonna make it! We're gonna make it! We're gonna make it! There's no way we can't make it! (They don't make it.)**

**Narrator Penny: Is this the end for Sonic the Hedgehog? (Explosion) No! (rolling sounds)**

That made some of them laugh a little.

"That was pure luck." Pyrrha said.

**Sonic: Elise!**

**Elise: (panting)**

**Sonic: Elise. Guess what?**

**Elise: What?**

**Sonic: I can never die! (Elise laughs and Sonic laughs like Jason Griffith.)**

"What kind of laugh was that?" Yang said while laughing.

**Sonic: Nice smile! Wink.**

**Elise: Wink.**

**Sonic: Ew! No, it was gross on you.**

"Yeah it was gross." Weiss said.

**[Scene change]**

**Mephiles: Finally, the corrupted weed gem! Finally those assholes will stop following me around and I can move on from my life. I used to be into Fortnite. Yeah, sure, we all had that kind of phase. That doesn't mean I want to keep dating my Fortnite boyfriend and inviting him to my new apartment every time I have a party. (The screen turns black.) (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"The screen that turned black killed me." Yang said.

**[Scene change]**

**(Sonic and Elise are walking together.)**

**Sonic: Oh. I feel potent angst energy in this forest, Elise. Woah! (They see a flash behind them.)**

**Robots(for some reason): (Darude Sandstorm) (Mephiles appears behind them.)**

**Sonic: I feel so distracted!**

**Mephiles: What the fu- what are you people doing in my front lawn? Get out of here!**

**Sonic: (Gasps in pain as he's impaled by Mephiles' blast.)**

"Woah! He died?! Sonic died?!" Jaune said.

**Mephiles: Oh my god. Oh my god, are you okay? Holy shit. I- I- I don't think I should pull it out. I think if I pull it out, he'll bleed out. Oh my god. Oh my god. I didn't mean to do that. Oh my god. Oh-**

**Sonic: You were right! I'm bleeding out!**

**Mephiles: I mean-**

**Sonic: All over the ground. Oh my god, there's so much visible rendered blood!**

**Elise: Oh no, Sonic! Sonic!**

"Holy shit... Sonic fucking died." Yang said.

"But, he's resurrected. Right?" Ruby said.

"Yeah... but..." Nova said.

"What?"

"You'll see."

**Mephiles: I mean, you shouldn't have come on my property. You scared me. I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing. I was- it ws self-defence and it is- I- we are in America. That was self- oh my god. I'm gonna fucking puke. (laughter)**

**Elise: Wake up! Wake up, Sonic! Please! No... no... his hand... it was the most beautiful part... of him.**

"I've got an erection." Yang said and then started laughing.

"A hand fetish too?!" Weiss said.

**Elise: Oh no. I'm having a flashback. ("Baby!" echoing) (crying) Noooooo! (The yellow is unleashed)**

**Mephiles: Oh my god. Oh my god. What the fuck? Yo, it's yellow! Oh my god. Yo, I'm purple. That's yellow. Ooohhh! Complimenting the color baby~. Okay, this'll look really good on my mantle. If I can just solidify this yellow essence into, like, a crystal or something, that would be dope.**

**[Scene change]**

**Omega: **_**We are trapped in the tar. This is what it looks like. This is America.**_

**Rouge: God. Fucking thanks, BP.**

**Shadow: Better not catch you slipping now, Omega. (laughter) Now, let's see, now that I got my rings back on, I can... wear rings.**

Only Yang laughed.

**Shadow: Oh.**

**Omega: **_**Shadow, be careful, that is the power of the Sprite. **_**(The Sprite flashes.)**

**Shadow: Oh, Sprite!**

**Rouge: Ah!**

**Shadow: I'm more of a Coca-Cola fan!**

**[Scene change]**

**Mephiles: Now I have all the colors of the rainbow and I can unleash my true gay power! (maniacally laughs) Now everyone's my boyfriend! (maniacally laughs)**

Everyone laughed.

**(Everyone freaks out as the light engulfs them.)**

**Random citizen: Oh, hey! My beds fit!**

**(Alfred sings Lifelight.) (laughter)**

"The Super Smash Bros theme." Ruby said while laughing.

**Tails: What the fuck is happening? What are these feelings?**

**Silver: Oh my god. It almost went as white as me! That's bad! (laughter)**

"Silver's here too?"

**Silver: Oh no! No, not you again!**

**Amy: Oh my god.**

**Shadow: Oh Christ, it's you guys.**

**Omega: **_**What's up, bitches?**_

**Amy: Rouge!**

**Eggman: (laughing) Cock. (laughter)**

Some of them laughed.

"Why isn't he dead?" Weiss said.

**Shadow: Mood, Eggman, mood.**

**Omega: **_**Cooooooooooooock.**_

**Eggman: Mm. You know how long I've beem craving some gamer dick? (laughter) Since nineteen aught seven.**

"He's gay too?" Jaune said.

**Eggman: Sonic's finally dead. (laughter)**

**Amy: Woah!**

**Shadow: Wait, he's dead?**

**Amy: Holy shit! You killed my boyfriend? Wait.**

**Tails: No, Sonic!**

**Shadow: Fuck yeah.**

**Tails: Oh no! What happened to him Elise?**

**Amy: I'll never get to play... the song I wrote for him. Maybe if I sing it now, it'll help!**

Nova was holding his laughter.

**Shadow: Don't.**

**Amy: (dooting Pumpkin Hill) (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"Pumpkin Hill again?" Yang said while laughing.

**Shadow: Nevermind, this is my jam.**

**Silver: I'll get my keytar.**

**Eggman: Now, this isn't the diss that I wanted. Shit, goddamn. This is fucking ridiculous. Fucking shit.**

**Amy: Everybody sing it with me! (Everyone starts dooting but Silver.)**

"This is stupid." Blake said.

**Silver: (whimpers) I'm too white for this song, I'm sorry. (Powering up noises)**

**Eggman: Finally God, take me. (laughter) I want it now. Give me death. Just like Sonic.**

Some of them laughed with that.

**Shadow: Satan, if you're out there, I want the piece of that pie too.**

**Knuckles: Oh wait. I have hands?**

"Must he always be high?" Weiss said.

**Silver: This is... awkward. I don't know any of you, guys and you're acting all like, "Oh man, it's so sad!" and like, I want to feel sad too, but I don't know you. So like...**

**Shadow: Untrue. I kicked you in the back of the head once. And it was awesome. Remember that, Silver? Remember getting your ass kicked? That's how Sonic feels, except not as bad.**

**Elise: I think... maybe...**

**Silver: You shut up. (laughter)**

**Elise: The power of friendship can bring him back. If we unite as friends.**

**Amy: I. Will fucking. End you.**

"And I was wondering when will she get mad." Yang said while laughing.

**Elise: No. No, we can't end.**

**Silver: Yeah, we can. We can end right now. You wanna do it? You wanna go? You wanna test me? I got nothing left to live for. My best froemd turned into sparkles and flew away. (laughter)**

"Wow, they all turned."

**Silver: That's right. Let's just do it. Let's just end it all. Huh? You ready? You ready to go? You raedy to leave this mortal plain?**

**Elise: Yes.**

**Omega: **_**What kind of fucking crack is this?**_

**Silver: I hate- I mean, no! I don't hate everything! I'm actually happy!**

**Penny: What- OH?!**

**Eggman: Alright now, Sans Undertale, go into my eyes. (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

"He's Sans!" Nora said.

**Eggman: Now, here's what we're going to do-**

**Chase: Since when? Since when?!**

**Tails: Eggman, I didn't know you got Google glass! That's awesome?**

**Knuckles: Hell yeah! **

"He jumped in excitement because he has smart glasses!" Yang said while laughing.

**Amy: Waitaminutewaitaminutewaitaminutewaitaminute.**

**Silver: What's glass?**

**Amy: Are we killing ourselves or not? Alright, bye!**

Everyone laughed.

"She went to kill herself." Blake said while laughing a little.

**Tails: Okay, let's go!**

**Knuckles: Wait, Amy, no!**

**Silver: That's not what I meant!**

**[Scene change]**

"So they'll bring him back with the Chaos Emeralds." Jaune said.

"Yeah..." Nova said.

**Shadow: I remember this worked well when I was trying to summon Animal Crossing for Switch.**

**Elise: And bring him back. With the power of colors. All the colors of the rainbow. Red, for... red. (laughter)**

"Wow." Yang said while laughing.

**Elise: The color of love and lust and hate. All of those, all combined together. The power of purple and blue and clear (laughter). Clear is a color too. Don't forget it.**

Everyone laughed.

**Elise: Can't forget the color clear. And by the powers of all the colors and also of friendship, return to me, Sonic! Return to all of us! We have united for you! We've united to bring you back! And so you must come. Come. Ignore the light. Come back to regular reality.**

"Why is she getting close to his face?" Ruby said.

**Shadow: Wait, is she-?**

**Elise: Where it's just... normal.**

"Is she going to kiss him?" Pyrrha said.

"Please don't." Weiss said.

**Knuckles: No, no, no, no, NO! (Everyone chants no, but she kisses Sonic and everyone screams.)**

**Amy: Nooooooo!**

"She actually kissed him?!" Yang said.

"What the fuck?!" Pyrrha said, kinda shocking everyone, but not that much because of the kiss.

"My eyes! The bestiality is soiling my life!" Ruby said.

"I don't know what's worse, that she kissed an animal, or a corpse?" Ren said.

"DON'T MAKE THIS WORSE!" Jaune said.

**(Sonic is alive and Super.)**

**Sonic: Elise. I have something to admit to you. I was gay before the light. (Elise faints)**

Everyone laughed.

**Chase: You killed her.**

**Sonic: I understand the friendzone. It's hard to deal with. (Everyone's cheering) It's okay. We can still be friends, Elise! But first, I have to take care of tgis alpha gamer... incel guy, I guess. **

**Shadow: Yeah, that's a plot.**

**Sonic:Hey, you wanna join me? You guys want to start a polyamorous marriage?**

**Silver: Sure!**

"I see what you mean, no wonder they hate gays on Earth." Weiss said.

**Sonic: We'll all be yellow!**

**Shadow: Wait, is that how it works?**

**Silver: Okay?**

**Shadow: Silver, you're a double bottom.**

"Wait, what?!" Blake said.

"What does that mean?" Ruby said.

"You don't want to find out. Holy shit, both of them?" Yang said.

**Silver: And I'll be the twink!**

**Shadow: Yeah, that's what I said!**

**Rouge: I now pronounce you husband, husband and husband.**

"Rouge started it all! That's why Sonic is gay!" Nora said.

**Sonic: Heck yeah!**

**Shadow: Sonic the Hedgehog said gay rights.**

**Amy: Shit!**

**Tails: We'll save the world with the power of the gay!**

**Sonic: And then we killed it.**

Everyone laughed.

**Shadow: And then we played Neopets.**

**Rouge: Yeah!**

**Tails: Yeah!**

**Knuckles: Yeah!**

**Eggman: (grunt)**

**Amy: Hey! Hey, do you wanna go out?**

**Elise: Mmhm. Yeah. (laughter)**

**Amy: Hell yeah! Sonic look, I'm gay too!**

"I think this video is just a reason to come out." Blake said.

"Probably. I don't actually know which one is straight. Judy is gay, Hayley is a transgender." Nova said.

**Rouge: Amy, what the fuck? (Sonic and Elise are floating alone now.)**

**Sonic: Where are we?**

**Elise: It's beautiful. Colorless, but colorful?**

**Voice: (echo) You have both beem Norted.**

**Sonic: Oh no! I was avoiding spoilers! (They get engulfed by the light.)**

**(Flashback)**

**Duke: Do you see that, my gamer child? That is your life. That is your flame, that no one can ever put out. Not even the gamers.**

**Elise: Okay... I guess we just gotta be real quiet here.**

**Duke: Yeah, I know. (laughter)**

Everyone laughed.

**Duke: Speechless. I was speechless too when I first saw the flame. But you will continue on. Understand me, Elise. The flame within you shines brighter than any Xbox 360 controller.**

**Elise: It's so great!**

**Duke: I can't fucking understand you. (laughter) But it's okay. You're my beautiful baby girl and I love you a lot.**

They couldn't stop laughing.

**Duke: You little Rugrat. Now come on. Let's go get some IHOP. (They keep laughing) I know. The flame's pretty fucking crazy, right? Now let's go get that IHOP.**

**(End of flashback)**

"You know, for a girl that is supposed to be born for games, she hasn't said anything about games. Not even once." Yang said.

**Sonic: So this is the flame of gamers, Elise?**

**Elise: Yeah. It's been burning since I was a child. It's still going. The flame of hope. The flame of the game.**

**Sonic: That's pretty lit!**

**Elise: Yes. Except nobody can see it, because it's a private area, so...**

**Sonic: Right.**

**Elise: Yes.**

**Sonic: Let's put it out! I hate games.**

**Elise: I'm just- I'm just gonna show it to you up close. It's really important. So, don't blow it out or anything, just- I don't know. Can you feel it?**

**Flame: (gamer talk)**

**Sonic: Hey Elise?**

**Elise: Yeah. It's whispering to me. Do you hear it too? The spirit of the games.**

**Flame: (Sonic games talk)**

**Elise: Let it inspire you. Feel it in your heart.**

**Sonic: I don't know Elise-**

**Elise: Oh my sorry, go on.**

**Sonic: No, I was just- I mean video games have just been kinda- oh no.**

**Elise: It's so inspiring...**

**Sonic: Oh, he Elise, let me uh cheer you up! Uh, what does a ghost say? What does a ghost say Elise?**

**Elise: Games... in the heart.**

**Flame: The purpose of my content is to entertain... (more gamer talk)**

"Nah, now it's more about getting monetized." Ruby said.

**Flame: I can't wait for the new Sonic character. Master Chief.**

**Elise: I think I want to eat it. Or maybe kiss it. (Blows the flame)**

**Flame: Smash that like button... Game over.**

**[Scene change]**

**(At the opening cutscene)**

"Wait, we're back at the beginning?"

"In the original, when the blow out the flame, it went back to the time of the festival. It's like it never happened." Nova said.

"Never? That's the best ending that game could have." Blake said.

**Elise: Hi guys. Hello!**

**Sonic: I gotta get on that plane! Wait- boat. Oh! Pretty boat! (crowd gasping)**

**Elise: Oh! I think... that was meant for us.**

**Lady-in-waiting: What the fuck are you talking about?**

**Elise: The- didn't you just feel that? That breeze? It penetrated my heart.**

**Lady-in-waiting: Sorry, that was me, I farted. (laughter)**

**Elise: Bye guys! Thanks for coming! (A white feather floats in the sky.)**

**Sonic: Oh! Vanilla!**

**Ryan: Say it, you won't.**

**Eggman: I'M PIS- (laughter)**

**(Credits with Penny's cover of Die Young)**

Everyone laughed.

"Finally, it's over. I want to sleep." Weiss said.

"That video just showed us how horny the people of Earth are." Yang said.

"It had its good moments, but it wasn't as good as the last one." Jaune said.

"It was more fucked up though." Blake said.

"Anyway, I have to go, but before that, I want to say that I'm having a Christmas party on Saturday." Nova said.

"Christmas?" Ruby said.

"Yeah. On Friday it's Christmas and I'll spend the entire day at my Father's place. So I want to invite you at my after Christmas party. Do you want to come?"

"Of course!"

"Great. I'll see you then. Good night, kids."

"Good night." everyone said. Then Nova disappeared.

_(,JoJo references: 31)_

**And done! It took me three days! But I did it. If you didn't like it, fuck you. Like, follow, review, sent a PM, and read the Nova Force. Also please tell me in the reviews if you agree with my opinion on the ending of Kill la Kill. See you soon!**


	72. AVGN

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 69 (oh my):**** AVGN**

It was a-(AHHHHHH, NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN!) Okay! Nova was happily walking, while whistling a tune, to Fiona's new place, which was outside the city. When he arrived at her mansion, he rang the doorbell, after doing a small tap dance. After a minute, Fiona opened the door. "Hey, sweetie!" she said.

"Hey, Fiona!" Nova said. He came in, they kissed and she took him to where the rest of the group were. "So, what were you doing?"

"You see, the company told us to start doing stuff in our social media. So we suggested to record us practicing, vlogs and etc. But then Rita and Alice suggested that they could do video like they used to. But the company denied it because the content wasn't family-friendly."

"What? Family-friendly?"

"Yeah. And now they're upset."

"Alice. Who jumped in fear because of a rat. Isn't family-friendly?"

"It's true! Back in Beacon she was basically an internet star, along with Rita.". They entered the room where the rest were. "Look who's here!"

"Hey Nova!" the girls said.

"Hey girls." Nova said. "So, you two were internet stars?"

"Yeah. The entire academy was watching our videos." Rita said.

"That's how they fell in love." Lillie said, while texting to her boyfriend. That's right. She finally found one.

"Then why did you stop?"

"We just, I don't know... grew up. After we gratuated, we were planning on doing more videos, but we decided to help Fiona with her dream. And we would hope that after we become famous, we would start again. But now we can't."

"It's really a shame. I miss these days." Alice said.

"What kind of videos were you making?" Nova said.

"I reviewed bad movies. My channel's name was _The review bites. _Get it? I found it smart." Rita said.

"I reviewed bad games. No, more like shitting on them. Mine's was _Rage mode: ON_." Alice said.

"... Shitting?"

"I was so angry some times that I was making my own words, like: FUCKSHIT, FUCKBALLS, FUCKRATS, SHITCUNT!"

"So you two were like the _Angry Video Game Nerd _and the _Nostalgia Critic... _but you were friendly to each other?"

"Who?" both of them said.

"Oh yeah, different worlds. You see, you probably don't know it, but after I unlocked my semblance, me and my family went to a planet called Earth to have a better life. And moamst of my life I spent it there."

"What does that have to do with videos?" Lillie said.

"Right. They are youtubers who make videos like that. I can show you if you want."

"Eh, like we had something else to do." Fiona said.

* * *

Nova prepared the stuff, did his magic, everyone sat on a couch and got ready to watch the videos. "So, what first? Games or movies?" Nova said.

"Let's go with games first." Rita said.

"Sure "

**Tiger Electronic Games**

**[AVGN intro]**

_**He's gonna take you back to the past **_

_**To play the shitty games that suck ass**_

_**He'd rather have a buffalo**_

_**Take a diarrhea dump in his ear**_

_**He'd rather eat the rotten asshole**_

_**Of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer**_

_**He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard**_

_**He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd**_

_**He's the Angry Atari Sega Nerd**_

_**He's the Angry Video Game Nerd**_

"He even has an intro. And he also does sketches?" Fiona said.

"I didn't had an intro or did sketches. I was just talking bad. And those games look old." Alice said.

"Why is there so much shit? Gross!" Lillie said.

"Why so much beer?" Rita said.

**AVGN: Remember back when I first warned you about the horrors of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on NES? Well, there were a few other games I mentioned there.**

**AVGN from his Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde review: They're just, y'know, rare, obscure games like, y'know, McKids, or, uh, Taxman, or whatever...**

**AVGN: What the hell is Taxman? I didn't even know what the hell I was talking about! I had too much to drink. What I meant to say was Wall Street Kid, a game about the stock market. Who would ever wanna play a game like that? **

"What were they thinking? Stocks?!" Alice said.

"Oh boy, she's back." Rita said.

**AVGN: But it so just happens by some fucking coincidence there actually is a game called Taxman for the Apple II computer. I've heard that there's nothing much to this game, it's just a Pac-Man clone. I figured that probably means that it's a game that's very similar to Pac-Man. I was wrong. By "clone", they meant "an exact copy." It's Pac-Man. Have you played Pac-Man? Then you've played Taxman without even knowing it. But that's not what I'm here to talk about. I'm here to talk about something that I feared since the beginning.**

**AVGN from his Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde review: Those little Tiger, like, electronic wrist games, those are better than Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.**

"Wrist games? I don't think they had the technology to do that." Fiona said.

**AVGN: Have we gotten to that point now? Is it time to scrape the bottom of the toilet bowl of the whole video game industry? Yeah, it's time to talk about TIGER Games. (He's playing some Tiger Electronic Games) **

"Oh no, not these! I hated these! They're not even video games!" Alice said.

**AVGN: Since the advent of video games, the idea of portable games was a novel concept, like the Nintendo Game & Watch series. Everybody liked the idea of being able to bring a game with you wherever you go. There were many examples, but none so common as the Tiger handheld games. They used the most primitive technology possible. The graphics, if you can even call them graphics, work like this: The background is a fixed image that's printed onto the console. In front of that is a clear screen, kinda like an animation cel, with a bunch of static images that represent all the characters and objects. When the game plays, these images light up individually to simulate the illusion of movement. It's sorta like a calculator or a digital watch. (Plays Castlevania II: Simon's Quest on a Tiger handheld console) I can't think of a more crude way to make a video game. Of course, you don't need technology to make a good game, but these were all ungodly.**

"I couldn't have said it better."

"That sound is very annoying and painful." Fiona said.

**The Nerd: But that didn't stop these games from flooding the market. They were everywhere! And everybody bought them! Everybody I knew had at least one of these things! On the school bus, people were playing them! At lunch time, everybody was swapping them around and playing each other's games! It was like chicken pox: We all got it.**

"When you don't have money, you also don't have any options." Rita said.

"I still don't understand why were people enjoying them. They could've saved their money for something better." Alice said.

**The Nerd: It was the cheapest option for a handheld game. You could find them at any store, they were convenient for birthday presents, and each one was its own individual game; you didn't need to get any other game cartridges to play on them, and all you needed was 2 AA batteries. The Game Boy, on the other hand, was more expensive, needed 4 AA batteries, and you'd still need to buy games for it. **

"But those were actual games!"

**AVGN: Tiger was like the poverty version. For a lot of us, it was either this (points to a Tiger game console), or nothing. And nobody minded. These things brainwashed us. They had colorful artwork that looked waybetter than the shit that came on inside the screen. It somehow gave you the impression that you were holding an arcade machine in your hands. The commercials made them look awesome, but really they were garbage. **

"Those kids probably hate themselves." Rita said.

**AVGN:These games were so mass-produced, it was like a swarm of mosquitoes sucking our blood! And we all got bit. The most shameless part of it is that these games tried to be more than what they were. With this kind of technology, they could have stuck to Solitaire or Video Poker. But no, they took it all the way and adapted action-adventure games. They took Konami games, Capcom games, Sega games like Altered Beast, Shinobi and Sonic the Hedgehog; any video game franchise ended up butchered on one of these things. Any licensed product; movies, TV shows, this Tiger got its claws on everything. (He plays "The Flintstones" Tiger game) When you adapt a well-known game, everybody knows what the real game is supposed to be like. You have something to compare it to; the difference is night and day. But, hey, the idea of playing Mega Man 2 on the go? Why not? (He plays "Mega Man 2," the Tiger version, and realizes that Mega Man is using a gun)**

"This is painful to watch." Alice said.

**The Nerd: Mega Man using a gun instead of his arm cannon? Sure! I guess somebody just looked at the atrocious cover to the original Mega Man and thought, "Okay, he's got a gun! Put it in the game!" And how about running out of ammo? (Mega Man runs out of ammo) Have you ever wanted to play a Mega Man game where you can run out of ammo? Well, this is it. Street Fighter II. (The Nerd playing "Street Fighter II", the Tiger version) Really? (Shows clips from each respective version of "Street Fighter II") First you have the arcade, then you have the home console versions, then you have the Game Boy version, and then at the very bottom you have the Tiger version. The only thing less than that will be using your imagination. Or playing the board game. (Takes out the Street Fighter board game) But even THAT was better.**

"Or we could do it in real life." Fiona said.

**AVGN: How about TV shows like Dinosaurs? Listen to that awful music. (He's playing the "Dinosaurs" Tiger game)**

"Is that even a tune? It just sounds crazy!"

**AVGN: You'd rather listen to the "I'M DA BABY! GOTTA LOVE ME!"Remember that shit? How about Full House? That's right, FULL HOUSE, the Tiger game. You play as Michelle, I think, going around slapping high-fives while fighting against inanimate objects. Apparently, everything in the Tanner household came alive and is trying to kill you. Personally, I prefer the Super Nintendo version of Full House: Tournament Fighter. (Footage from "Full House: Tournament Fighter" for SNES) For games that are so basic, you'd think they'd be easy to pick up and play, but many of them, I can't even figure out what you're supposed to do. I just mash buttons and wait for something to happen. A game this simple should not need an instruction manual. Some of them, I wonder if they're defective. In the Bowling game, I haven't even been able to hit one pin. The ball goes straight for the pins, then it disappears. (He throws the ball and the ball disappears.) What is happening?!**

"I'm getting triggered here." Alice said.

**The Nerd: The controls, a lot of times, are counter-intuitive. Anybody who's played a video game knows that the D-Pad controls your movement, and the buttons perform actions. With Tiger games, anything goes. In Castlevania II, the whip is Up or Down on the D-Pad; while the buttons on the right are jump up, jump right, and the sword, which is actually a throwing dagger, by the way. (Simon throws some daggers at a skeleton)**

"These are even worse than of our world!"

**The Nerd: Chip 'N Dale's Rescue Rangers had Jump and Pick on the left, and on the right, to move, it's just one big button that says "Forward." Every one of these games had some kinda quirky control when they should have just emulated what's on an NES controller. Half of these games, the controls barely work at all because they're so fragile and don't age well. Another thing I hate about them is that they're hard to record. It's almost impossible to see the objects on the screen without careful lighting, and the glare makes it even worse. So, there's nothing good about these games.**

"At least these piles of plastic trash stopped being made, after 5 years."

**AVGN: (opening a Game Boy box) In 1989, the Nintendo Game Boy hit the scene. It revolutionized portable gaming. Yeah, the games were black and white, there's no backlight, and the screen was still hard to see, but the games were like real games. It was closer to having a mobile NES. You'd think this would be the Tiger killer, but no. Other game companies like Konami released a lot of their own games on handheld devices like this. But most of them died out when Game Boy became popular. Tiger, on the other hand, continued well into the 90s. In fact, I remember these things being more common in the 90s than ever!**

"What?!"

**AVGN: They were pouring obsolete games into stores, and we were still buying them! They wouldn't die off! They were like cockroaches! By giving people a cheap alternative, they managed to coexist with the Game Boy. Yeah, this Tiger sure rose up to the challenge of its rivals, had the guts, got the glory, went the distance, now it's not gonna stop! It's LITERALLY a survivor.**

"That plastic shit managed to survive that long?! BULLSHIT!"

"Aw shit, she's back for real!" Rita said.

**AVGN: There's a difference between something that's old-school and something that's outdated. Old school is like Atari 2600: The games are primitive, but they're still fun to play. You can always go back to them. Outdated is something you never want to go back to. Tiger games are so outdated, they were never in-dated! They were a fad, like Pogs! If they were an experiment in the 70s and they only made a few of them, then I could accept that. But, no, they milked these things for all that they're worth! You thought LJN was the grand champion, the almighty shitty game factory? Tiger put LJN to shame! Yeah, LJN laid down turd after turd after turd, but Tiger was like a machine gun ass, shitting out TURTURTURTURTURTURTURTURTURD! These are the worst games I've ever had the honor of playing, if you even count them as video games! People have discussions like: "Are video games art?", or something like that. Well, I have a better one: "Are Tiger games video games?" These are a caveman's version of video games! These were a step back in human evolution! These are the most desperate attempt at entertainment! You could save up for a Game Boy, or just go (Mimicking the Tiger handheld sounds) EH-EH-EH-EH-EH. Yeah, well, (while simulating hand-jerking and alternatively flashing the middle finger)EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH-EH! **

This made them laugh a little.

"We really had the same style of videos." Alice said.

**AVGN: (Stammering) Just, what the hell - These things, how'd they waste so much plastic to make these things?! It brought the game industry down as low as it could go! It's proof that Jesus died in vain and legally changed His middle name to "FUCKING"! The only thing I could think of to use these things for is to WIPE YOUR ASS WITH IT! You might as well save that toilet paper - it's worth a whole lot more! (drinks Rolling Rock) But I'm not done, am I? Oh no. I've actually gotten to this point. It's time... to talk about... the Wrist Games. (He's holding a Tiger Wrist Game, pinching his nose as if he's holding a turd, then he groans disgustedly) (He's playing the "Double Dragon" wrist game. It looks so god-awful that the Nerd gets even more frustrated)**

They couldn't help it but laugh a little.

"The silence killed me." Lillie said.

**AVGN: What... the... ASS. Talk about desperate. I'd have more fun setting the time on a digital watch. This is shits for the birds. Now check this out: Batman Returns, the wrist game. Oh, boy... (He tries to open it) Wait, I can't get it open. Good. God, I hate this shit! You know... You know what's bullshit? (The Bullshit Man appears playing the "You Know What's Bullshit?!" theme music while the Nerd looks in shock)**

"What the fuck is that?!" Fiona said.

"That's Bullshit Man." Nova said.

"I think I'm gonna vomit." Lillie said.

**Bullshit Man: YOU KNOW WHAT'S BUUUUUUUUULLSHIT?! (gives the Nerd a pair of scissors) Packaging that you need scissors to open! Even with the scissors, it's still a pain in the ass. Why's this plastic so fucking strong? This stuff is bulletproof. Nobody wants this shit, so why do they do it? They use it on everything! This kind of packaging should be outlawed! Why does it still exist? I especially "love" when you buy scissors and you need scissors to open the scissors. What fuckin' idiots think this is a good idea? They don't care. By the time you're having this problem, you already bought it. Packaging like this is bullshit. (The Bullshit Man leaves)**

Nova was laughing his ass off.

**AVGN: Thanks, Bullshit Man. (looks at the Tiger wrist game and sighs)(He's playing "Batman Returns" the wrist game) (sarcastically) Wow, look at how "bad-ass" this game is. Yeah, this is the hot shit right here. You'd be so cool going around wearing this thing. **

"Only the cool kids had these." Rita joked.

**AVGN: Yeah, you'd be walking around school, and you got this on and everybody else is talking about what the new hot game system is gonna be. (Scoffs) Nintendo 64? The bit wars? (Chuckles then initially in a high-pitched voice, then getting angrier and louder each time) 64 bits, 32 bits, 16 bits, 8 bits, 4 bits, 2 BITS, 1 BIT, HALF BIT, QUARTER BIT, (Screams) THE WRIST GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!**

"Was I screaming that much?" Alice said.

"You were screeching." Lillie said.

**AVGN: And you thought that was it for Tiger, huh? Handheld games, wrist games, Tiger (computerized voice) Pokémon walkie-talkies?! **

"Those must've been nice." Fiona said.

**AVGN: YEAH! (normal voice) That's not enough? Well, how about... (brings out the Tiger ) A WHOLE... FUCKING... TIGER... GAME CONSOLE?!**

"No, that's not possible...!" Alice said.

**AVGN: In 1997, this was Tiger's belated answer to the Game Boy. You'd think it was called the Game-Dot-Com, but it's actually the .**

**Bootup voice: _GAMECOM _**_**ACTIVE.**_

**This thing tried to be hip and cutting-edge. It had a stylus pen, making it the first touch-screen game console; and PDA features, like a phone book, a calendar, a calculator, and a built-in Solitairegame. You could even connect a dial-up modem to it to access the Internet, text-only.**

"So you can't leave." Fiona said.

"Then why not use a computer if you can't leave your house?" Rita said.

**AVGN: I don't believe it myself. Imagine reading your e-mail on this thing. And you'd have to hook it up to a modem, so you couldn't leave your house anyway. WHY NOT JUST USE A COMPUTER?! It was supported by cartridge games. The game included with the system was a mediocre puzzle game called Lights Out, where the object is to turn out all the lights. Beyond that, it was a bunch of shitty ports like Mortal Kombat Trilogy. (Scrolling through the character selection screen) I don't see Scorpion or Sub-Zero. Trust me, they're not there. There's Rain and Reptile. How could you have a Mortal Kombat game without Scorpion or Sub-Zero? And who'd want to play this on a crappy black-and-white portable console anyway? Then there's Duke Nukem. At least the voice sounds pretty good.**

**Duke Nukem: (digitized voice) Damn! That's the second time those alien bastards shot up my ride!**

"I would prefer a text-to-speach voice." Alice said.

**AVGN: Then there's a Batman & Robin game.**

**Batman: Ah!**

**AVGN: Every time Batman gets hit, it sounds like he just got done taking a big dump.**

**Batman: Ah! Ah! Ah!**

That made them laugh a little.

**AVGN: Then there's The Lost World: Jurassic Park. (Dinosaur roars and runs at the truck) Isn't it always fun to dodge things that come from behind? Then there's Resident Evil 2. (Game starts)The same thing happens to me when I try to play the real Resident Evil 2. You get about 3 seconds to figure out the control and a zombie latches himself onto you and kills you. (He gets killed) **

"That's unfair, he starts next to a zombie!"

**AVGN: Great! Why'd they have to start you right next to the zombie? Can't I get a chance? Turning yourself around is like waiting for a minute hand on a clock. (Dies again) Ugh! (He presses random buttons, and finally kills the zombie)Finally, I got him! So that's the . Needless to say, it flopped, especially with Nintendo dominating the portable gaming market. So, hey, why not just follow whatever Nintendo's doing?! That mentality is what brought us, what I think, so far, is the worst video game console I have ever played: (flashes the R-Zone to the viewers) The R-Zone.**

"You've got to be kidding me..."

**AVGN: This is basically a shitty version of the Virtual Boy. Yes, I said that, as if the Virtual Boy isn't already shitty enough! Just look at it! What planet did this thing come from? Here's how it works: You take the game cartridge, you slide it into the system, then the screen lights up. Then, you strap the thing on your head. And that's one thing that I have to give it credit for; is that they actually thought to have a head strap.**

"That's just the handheld, but with red colour." Fiona said.

"My PTSD is hitting me really hard." Alice said.

**AVGN: Anyway, the image gets projected right here; there's supposed to be a piece of reflective plastic here, it's missing, but you could use almost anything. So you put it there, and then, it projects the game right there! And keep in mind, this was portable, so you'd be going around in public like, "Hey guys! How ya doing? I'm just playing a game here!" (The Nerd mimics a guy having trouble playing the R-Zone)**

"Everyone would laugh at you." Lillie said.

**AVGN: Just when you thought the most sorry, pathetic excuse for a video game was the Tiger Wrist Games, oh, no. Imagine playing one of these... up close to your eye, in red and black! (The Nerd is playing "Batman Forever" on the R-Zone)**

"It sounds even worse than the handhelds." Fiona said.

**AVGN: GOOD LORD! You thought I was kidding, but it's true. This actually happened. Unlike the Virtual Boy, which causes eye strain and headaches within minutes, this thing does it immediately. Having it over one eye meant having to go cross-eyed to look at it, or cover the other eye. By the way, the game itself sucks just as much as the other Tiger games. (He tries turning around, but can't) Thought you could turn around? Yeah, right. I love how the advertisements always show a kid playing it. Look at his expression. He's horrified, and in the commercial, the kid's screamingin agony!**

**Rodger Parsons: You'd better not blink.**

**Kid: (Screams)**

**Rodger Parsons: "Indy 500" roars into the R-Zone!**

"It looks more like a torture device." Rita said.

**AVGN: Was this thing intended as a torture device? What made them think this was a good idea? They did it because Nintendo did it. It couldn't have been a coincidence; both systems came out in '95. Tiger saw what Nintendo was doing and thought, "That's the new hot ticket! See, red and black video games that you play close to your eye!" If it was blueand black, I'm sure it would've been the same thing. The original idea of the Virtual Boy, so I thought, was to emulate virtual reality, to make you feel like you're really there. Well, the R-Zone got as far away from that idea as possible. It's so far removed from common sense that it's baffling. What were they thinking with this shitload of fuck? I know what I'm thinking: I might carve a giraffe out of wood and decorate it with Christmas lights so I can put it up in an albatross nest.**

"...What?" the girls said.

**AVGN: Did you expect me to say that? Probably not, neither would you expect this crazy idea of a video game! Case closed. It sucks. (He drinks some more Rolling Rock while the rock version of the Angry Video Game Nerd theme plays)**

"That was nice. It reminded me a lot of my videos." Alice said.

"I was expecting a sketch. Besides the giant turd." Lillie said.

"Okay, I'll put a funny one." Nova said.

**Bugs Bunny Birthday** Blowout

**[AVGN intro]**

**[Looney Tunes intro]**

**(The Nerd finding his shirt, then putting the pens in the pouch, putting his glasses on, going to the fridge and taking out a bottle of Yuengling, taking a swig of it, then looking through his NES collection and pulling out The Bugs Bunny Birthday Blowout.)**

"Huh... he's not drinking Rolling Rock."

**AVGN: (sarcastically) Wow, how awesome could this be? Bugs Bunny's Birthday Blowout. Well, it was a blowout, alright. BLOW OUT YOUR ASS! Basically, you're Bugs Bunny goin' around with a hammer in a Mario-like setting. Really nothing special. In fact, it's one of the most sickening sidescrollers I've ever seen, because when you walk, the screen sort of does like this strobe effect. I'm not kidding, it makes me sick! Even worse is when there's an earthquake! Oh, come on! That's cruel! The plot is that it's Bugs Bunny's 50th birthday and he's on his way to his own party, but out of envy, everybody wants to stop him from getting there. **

"50th? Is he that old of a cartoon character?" Rita said.

"One of the oldest. It's been 79 years since his first appearence. There are cartoons that are over a century, like Mickey Mouse." Nova said.

**AVGN: So you're just whacking anybody in your path, and you know what's really annoying? Every time you get hit, you see stars. And when that happens, you can't use your hammer for a few seconds. All you do is just go from start to finish. There's usually a boss at the end of the stage, like, here's Daffy. You think you're supposed to fight him, but, no, that doesn't work. You're just supposed to get the carrot.**

"The game is very boring." Alice said.

**AVGN: Yeah, this game's really a no-brainer. (takes a swig of Yuengling, then Bugs Bunny shows up at the door and he promptly spits out his Yuengling) OH MY GOD! IT'S BUGS BUNNY!**

"I've got to say, he's a good actor." Fiona said.

**Bugs Bunny: Nyah... (chomping on carrot) What's up, Doc?**

**AVGN: (looking shocked)**

"Look how he walks!" she said while laughing a little.

**AVGN: I can't believe it! In my own house! Bugs Bunny! BUGS FUCKIN' BUNNY!(punches Bugs in the stomach and face, knocking him out)**

Everyone laughed.

"Why did he hit him?" Rita said.

"Because the game sucks." Nova said.

**AVGN: After each stage, you get a bonus game, depending on how many carrots you collected. By winning, you can earn some 1-ups. Now, this number thing, I really don't know how to play it, and I don't give a shit, so I just tap the buttons until it's over.**

**Bugs: Nyyyyyyaaaaaaaahhhhh, what's up, DOC?!(the Nerd breaks the empty bottle of Yuengling over Bugs' head, knocking him out)**

The girls got shocked by that but they also laughed.

"Don't worry, it was fake." Nova said.

**AVGN: Now here's Tweety. Hate this little bastard. You just gotta clobber him. So you can already guess that all the bosses are Looney Tunes characters, like Wile E. Coyote, Sylvester, Foghorn Leghorn, Elmer Fuckin' Fudd and Pepé Le Shit. But the main enemies are just really weird. There's these walking boxes with the letter S, little hammer head guys, Oscar the Grouch, and these things, I don't know, I guess they're floating... dead cats. These clocks are the worst. They're all over the place! You can't hit 'em without getting yourself hit, and when you kill 'em, they explode for like, three hours and you just gotta stand back. And after they explode, another one immediately drops in its place! So I just gotta run through everything. I mean, I just don't even care.**

"That's just unfair." Alice said.

**Bugs: Nyyyyyaaaaahhhhhh, what's up, DOC?! (the Nerd backhands him, knocking him out)**

**AVGN: What's one thing I should have done a thousand times by now? Die. But I'm not dying. You know why? Because this game's too fuckin' easy. I'm just walking through the levels, getting hit by everything in sight, not caring whether I lose all my lives or beat the game. Whichever comes first, I welcome it. All I know is, this game is going on, and on, and on. There's Sam, beating the shitballs out of me, just hitting me every second that there is, but, there I go, I still beat him. Come on, I really don't care about the damn bonus games! This game is GARBAGE!**

**Bugs: Nyyyyaaah- (gets cut off while the Nerd takes Bugs' head and slams it into the table repeatedly)**

**AVGN: I'D RATHER PUT MY BALLS IN A CROCODILE'S MOUTH WHILE SHOVING MY HEAD UP A UNICORN'S ASSHOLE!**

"Geez, relax!" Fiona said.

"Okay, I'm pretty sure I wasn't that angry."

**AVGN: Well, here's Tweety again. Get out here! Come on, come on! You little Tweety fuck! Alright, here's Elmer Fuckin' Fudd. Come on! Ugh, you son of a bitch! Now what's he doing to me? Ugh, get off! A lot of times, you're supposed to break blocks to get to where you're supposed to go, which is tedious as all hell- (falls and dies) WHAT A SHITTY-ASS LOAD OF GODDAMN BULLFUCK!**

**Bugs: Nyah, ain't I a fuckin' stinker, motherfucker?!**

**AVGN: AIN'T YOU A GODDAMN FUCKIN' PIECE OF SHIT?! (throws Bugs to the hallway floor, then kicks and steps on his head with vigor and force over and over again)**

They all laughed.

"We should've done stuff like that!" Rita said.

**AVGN: Oh, I hate this shit right here. These platforms keep disappearing when you jump on 'em. Fuck! Alright, let's try this again. Keep jumpin', keep jumpin'! Oh, oh, here we go! Oh, okay. Here-here we go! Yes! Okay, next rope. Oh no, wait! Ugh! Son of a cock!**

"Oh, that's bullshit!" Alice said.

**Bugs: (peeking through the doorway) Nyyyyaaahhhh! What's up, butt-cock?! (the Nerd takes a Mario ball and throws it at Bugs's face)**

That made them laugh a little.

**AVGN: Sometimes, when you have to go down, you're never sure of whether or not you're gonna fall and die. Ugh! Mother of a fuck! (Bugs sees stars) I hate those stars. I really, really, fuckin' hate 'em. You can't hit anybody without getting hit. And everything you try to step on, it breaks away! It's just total ass!**

**Bugs: Nyah, what's all the hubbub... Bub? (the Nerd gets enraged and tackles Bugs to the floor)**

They all laughed.

**The Nerd: You know, this game is just way toogenerous with the extra lives. (playing while wresting with Bugs) IT'S LIKE DELIBERATELY KEEPING ME IN THE GAME, SO I CAN'T STOP!**

**Bugs Bunny: Nyah! What's up, butt-cock-vagina-butt-fuck?!**

**AVGN: Just SHUT UP! For what it's worth, the game's at least playable. But there's no appeal whatsoever. Making a birthday-themed game is one of the worst concepts imaginable. Even with a big name like Bugs Bunny. (sitting on Bugs Bunny) He's one of the greatest cartoon characters of all time, but his leap to the Nintendo Entertainment System was just a total fucking shitbomb.**

"You're the one sitting on him!" Fiona said.

**AVGN: (comes up to Taz, the Tasmanian Devil) Well, here we are at the last guy. It's Taz. All you gotta do is knock those footballs back at him, and he's done. I beat it! NOW GET OUTTA HERE! (kicks Bugs away)**

"Stop, he already had enough!" she said while laughing.

**AVGN: "Bugs Bunny finally arrives at his party. He is greeted with thunderous cheers and applause from his loving friends. To Bugs' surprise, he finds all of his Looney Tunes pals there, who had just moments ago been playing some very funny tricks." (to Bugs, angrily) I'LL SHOW YOU SOME FUNNY TRICKS! (charges him against the wall)**

"Woah, an actual beating!" Rita said.

**Bugs: (while being repeatedly punched in the face)Nyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaah, what's up, COCK?!**

**AVGN: I'll show you what's up, you fuckin' bunny piece of shit! (knees him two times in the face before going back to punching) BUGS BUNNY'S BIRTHDAY BLOWOUT! HOW 'BOUT BUGS BUNNY'S BIRTHDAY BEATING?! (Bugs gets thrashed and pummeled and flipped over) **

Everyone was laughing.

**AVGN: You want a shoryuken? (uppercuts him) (Bugs gets beat up and tossed around some more, then gets kicked through a wall of boxes, with the Nerd roaring in slow motion.)**

"He really likes boxes." Nova said.

**AVGN: (Then he helps Bugs up on his feet and throws him across the hall. Bugs crawls away into the kitchen while the Nerd pursues him. Bugs gets tired and collapses on his back) You want some shit? (pulls pants down)**

"Please don't tell me that-" Lillie said.

**AVGN: BOMBS AWAY, BUGS BITCH! (diarrhea begins to shit out as it falls through a fake ass)**

**Bugs: Nyyyyaaah, (diarrhea pours onto his face) oh shit! OH SHIT! Nyah!**

"Eww!" the girls said while laughing non-stop.

"That's nasty!" Rita said.

**AVGN: Ugh, man! (takes off fake ass) Don't worry, folks. It's not real. (Merrie Melodies spoof theme starts playing and Bugs is shown in distress) (while giving middle finger) Fuck you, Bugs Bunny! (gives middle finger through fake asshole) FUCK YOU, BUGS BUNNY! (tosses fake ass) There you go. Got your ass handed to ya. (iris out, then cut to a drum, which the Nerd pops out of in a similar fashion to Porky Pig)Uh-duh, uh-duh, uh-duh, that's all, fucks! (flashes middle finger)**

"That was amazing! Now I just want to do more videos!" Alice said.

"Can you put the movies now?" Rita said.

"Okay."

**And done! That's right, I'm putting the good stuff. Guess what video of Nostalgia Critic I'll do. Like, follow, leave a review and not a request, sent a PM and read the Nova Force. See you soon!**


	73. Nostalgia Critic

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 70:**** Nostalgia Critic**

"What review should I choose?" Nova said.

"Choose the worst movie." Fiona said.

"The worst... there a lot of... I found one. You're gonna love this. But because this review doesn't have an intro, I'll put first his best, in my opinion, intro.". He shows them the intro of season 9.

"Wow... I don't have any words. But it was cool." Rita said.

"He even did videos with the Nerd?" Alice said.

"Yeah. They had a very big feud and they're both TMNT fans. Now for the review." Nova said.

**The Room**

**NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Well, I've gotten emails and emails and emails and EMAILS of people requesting me to do this one certain movie. Well, today, I'm finally gonna give in. This is it. One of the big ones. One of the worst ones ever. I am going to review...The Room. That's right. The college film that I made growing up. (Footage from Doug's college film "The Room" is shown instead) I'm surprised you guys wanted me to review this so bad. I mean, it's not very long and I made it years ago. But ever since I showed it in my flashback section, you've all requested me to do it.**

"Is he trolling us?" Rita said.

**NC: So let's not waste any time. Let's dive right into... (An explosion off-screen is suddenly heard, and then an older version of the Critic, resembling Christopher Lloyd as Doc Brown in the Back to the Future films, comes into the room)**

**Future NC: Critic!**

"Wait, what? What's happening?" Lillie said.

**NC: Who are you?**

**Future NC: I'm you...from the future!**

"Oh, it's one of those guys. The guys that most of the time aren't funny but they make you laugh." Rita said.

**NC: Well, what are you doing here...what am I doing here...what are we doing here?!**

**Future NC: This isn't the movie they want you to review, Critic. There's one worse, FAR WORSE, that they say is one of the worst movies of all time! (Makes a strange mumble noise)**

**NC: Really? Oh, that is tempting. When was it made?**

**Future NC: All the way in 2003!**

**NC: Oh, but that's after my cut-off date. That's barely nostalgic.**

**Future NC: I know! That's why I've come to take you into the future so that it will be nostalgic! (Makes another strange mumble)**

**NC: Oh, but I wanted to review my old college movie. It was gonna be funny.**

"Probably not."

**Future NC: No, it wasn't. (tries to drag NC out of his seat)**

**NC: Yes, it was!**

**Future NC: What, were you gonna use another Chuck Norris joke again?**

**NC: ...Maybe.**

**Future NC: Come on, Critic. There's no time to lose! (They both leave and we see a shot from Back to the Future of the DeLorean shooting off into the future. After a bright flash, we cut to NC walking into his basement)**

They laughed a little.

"Just to review a movie. Wait, where was that from?" Alice said.

"Back to the future. The time machine." Nova said.

"Oh, like Blast from the Past. But it was a bike." Lillie said.

"Okay, this world has a lot of similarities with Earth and that's very suspicious."

"What are you talking about?" Fiona said.

"Oh, it's nothing."

"It doesn't sound like nothing."

"It's nothing. Probably a big coincidence."

**NC: Wow. So what year is this?**

**Future NC: The future!**

**NC: All right, all right. But why am I downstairs in the basement?**

**Future NC: Oh, it's the only place we can hide to stay away from the seahorses.**

**NC: Oh, okay.**

"What?" Rita said.

**NC: (long pause) What?**

**Future NC: Oh, yeah, seahorses rule the Earth now. Complete domination. Surprised nobody saw it coming, really. (NC looks out of the window to see that the whole world is practically a seahorse empire with futuristic buildings and a seahorse Statue of Liberty. After that, NC resumes speaking to the camera)**

That made them laugh a little.

"It's so stupid. I love it."

**NC: Well, I'll just deal with that as it comes. So, let's not waste any time. Let's dive right into The Room. (We are thus shown the title of the actual movie, before we are shown the film's production logo and its opening credits, with the name "Tommy Wiseau" being shown in several credits) Okay, so after we get our logo that looks like it should be before a TurboGrafx-16 game, we cut to our opening credits. We get some fairly decent shots of San Francisco as we see the star of our movie is Tommy Wiseau...who I guess was also the executive producer...and the writer...and the producer again. **

"Great. It's one of those. I killed a lot of movies like that."

**NC: Gee, either the director of this film really likes Tommy Wiseau or... (Scoffs) I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and say... (The final opening credit is shown to be "Directed by Tommy Wiseau") Yeah, just as I thought. Looks like we have a personal story here, people. Be very afraid. (At an apartment, a man named Johnny walks through the door to meet his girlfriend, Lisa)**

"I can already say that it'll be terrible."

**Johnny: (very blandly, like all his dialogue) Hi, babe. I have something for you.**

"Is... is this for real?"

**NC: (laughs) Okay, okay, no, no, no...come on, come on. Where's the real performance? (We are shown a future scene of Johnny and Lisa)**

**Johnny: The bank saves money, and they are using me, and I am the fool.**

"That's Tommy Wiseau? That's the worst acting I've ever seen!"

"It's so bad, it's laughable." Fiona said.

"He even looks like he came from another planet." Lillie said.

"He acts that way too." Rita said.

**NC: (laughing) No. Seriously, guys, come on. Where's the real actor? (We are shown another future scene of Johnny and Lisa)**

**Johnny: You are part of my life, you are everything. I cannot go on without you, Lisa.**

**NC: (NC's face slowly goes from a smile to complete disgust, slowly realizing who he's gonna watch throughout the film)...No...**

They all laugh.

"Look at his face!" Lillie said.

**(We are briefly shown another future shot of Johnny)**

**Johnny: What about Elizabeth, huh?**

**NC: No... Let me guess. That's Tommy Wiseau? (A subtitle appears under another shot of Johnny, which confirms the answer) Oh, no. (Covers his face in horror) That's the kind of acting they only talk about in fairy tales, the kind of acting that they say could never exist! (The screen suddenly goes static and then cuts to Obscurus Lupa in her room, looking terrified)**

**Lupa: Don't do it, Critic.**

**NC: Obscurus Lupa?**

"Wait, another critic?" Fiona said.

**Lupa: I've reviewed this movie already. There's no need for you to sacrifice your sanity as well.**

"Is that movie that big of a deal?" Rita said.

"Yeah. Everyone loves it." Nova said.

"How?! Why?!"

"Because the memes!"

**NC: (sounding determined) I must, Lupa. True, it'll be hard to sit through this anus of a performance, but I must do it for my fans!**

**Lupa: (cries) But...but, Critic...**

**NC: Away with you!**

**(Lupa leaves crying. NC takes a breath and continues, as we cut back to the first scene of Johnny giving Lisa a new dress)**

**NC: So, yeah, this is our main character, everybody. You know that creepy guy who always looks at you funny on the subway? Yeah, he made a movie, apparently. And in that movie, he plays Johnny, the fiance of a pretty young woman named Lisa.**

"He really looks like a weirdo." Alice said, while laughing a little.

**(A young man named Denny comes into the apartment)**

**Denny: Oh, hey, guys.**

**Johnny: Oh, hi, Denny.**

**NC: And this is Denny. We don't know that much about him, but after a few scenes, you'll wish to stay that way.**

**Johnny: Nice to see you, Denny. I'm going to take a nap.**

"I already can't stand the way he acts." Rita said.

**Denny: Can I go upstairs, too? (Johnny laughs randomly)**

**Lisa: Denny, I think I'm gonna join him. (Lisa and Johnny then walk upstairs as Denny watches)**

"So they'll leave him downstairs while they have sex? What the hell?"

**NC: So, a kid comes over and they go upstairs to have sex? Well, that's kinda rude. What's the kid supposed to do? I mean, is he supposed to just go upstairs and join them? (In the bedroom, while Johnny and Lisa are in the middle of a pillow fight, Denny jumps in between the two, causing all three of them to laugh and Johnny to tickle Denny. NC looks shocked)**

**NC: Uhhh...**

"Exactly our reaction." Fiona said.

**Johnny: Denny, do you have something else to do?**

**Denny: I just like to watch you guys.**

"Stop it." Rita said.

**NC: (stunned again) Uhhhhhh...**

**Johnny: Denny, two's great, but three's a crowd. (chuckles)**

**Denny: I get it. You guys wanna be alone.**

**Johnny: That's the idea.**

**Denny: Fine. I have homework to do, anyway. Bye, lovebirds.**

**Johnny: Bye, Denny. (Denny leaves the bedroom)**

"Who would think of that scene?!"

**NC: So...was that a charming scene, or should we be emotionally disturbed? (Johnny and Lisa start kissing, before the film instantly cuts to show them dancing together during the nighttime)**

"Now, it's night?" Alice said.

**NC: Oh, well, who cares? We have a gratuitous sex scene to shoot! Which apparently, they waited until night to do, considering they started during the day, and as soon as they started taking their clothes off, it's at night. What, did they just pillow fight the whole time? (Johnny and Lisa are shown taking their clothes off in their bed. All of this is shown and delivered extremely slowly, with Lisa's hairstyle changing in-between the fade-ins)**

"Hurry up, already!" Fiona said.

**NC: But, hey, if you think it took a while for them to start making out, see how long it takes for them to actually start having sex. I mean it. They kiss, play with their clothes, she puts her hair down...just so she can put it back up again. It practically takes forever! (Eventually, Johnny and Lisa start making out, and even that aspect of this scene is shown and delivered slowly and completely awkwardly. One shot shows the two of them bumping uglies in a weird way) And wouldn't you know it? Even the sex is really off! I mean, look at this angle here. Really look at it. Is he fucking her belly button? 'Cause it looks like he's fucking her belly button. Dude, I don't know how many times you've had sex, but it's not that tight!**

Everyone laughed.

"I was just going to say that!" Rita said.

**(We cut to the next morning, with Johnny waking up and getting out of bed)**

**NC: So I'm guessing five days later, they finally get sex over with...or whatever the hell you call that. So Johnny gets up for a minute and... (Johnny walks out of the room, showing his bare ass to the camera, which an image of a donkey head is superimposed on. This shot disgusts NC to no end) DAAAAAH! Fuck it, movie! Fuck it! I...I got a hard enough time watching his acting, you gotta show me his ass?! What the hell?!**

"I love the way he screams." Alice said.

**(We are shown several shots of Johnny and Lisa's first sex scene)**

**NC: Actually, this whole scene plays like a sex tape gone wrong. In fact, I bet that's what happened. I bet that's exactly what happened. Tommy Wiseau was filming himself and his girlfriend having sex, when somebody came across the tape. They confronted him about it and he said... (Imitates Wiseau) Oh, no, no, is not sex tape. Is, uh, independent movie I'm making. Yeah, that's it. Independent movie. And, uh, I'm in it, and, uh, so is my girlfriend. (Imitates Lisa) Tommy, what are you doing? (Imitates Wiseau) I had to think of something. We just have to make movie now. (Imitates Lisa) But neither of us can act. (Imitates Wiseau) We make movie now!**

Everyone laughed.

"_We make a movie now!_" Fiona said, doing an impression.

**(In the middle of the day, Lisa's mother, Claudette, comes over to visit Lisa)**

**NC: So Lisa's mother comes over as she feels something is wrong.**

**Claudette: What's wrong? Tell me.**

**Lisa: I don't love him anymore.**

"Why? He cares for you, he provides you, he fucks you in your belly button-" she couldn't continue because of laughter.

**Claudette: Why don't you love him anymore? Tell me.**

**Lisa: He's so...boring.**

**NC: Okay, if making love to your navel is boring, I don't want to know what exciting is.**

"... Tentacles, maybe...?" Nova said, surprising the girls.

"What the fuck?" Rita said.

**Claudette: He supports you, he provides for you. And, darling, you can't support yourself. And his position is very secure.**

"I like her. I'll call her Aunt Judy."

**NC (as Claudette): Yes, your job that we'll never explain or see you do makes much less than his job which we'll never explain or see him do. (Later in the day, Lisa decides to call Johnny's best friend named Mark, inviting him over to the apartment)**

**NC (vo): So we see Lisa call Johnny's best friend, Mark, as she invites him over for a quote-unquote "talk". (Lisa gives Mark a drink)**

"What a bitch! She's hitting on his best friend?" Lillie said.

**Mark: Thank you.**

**Lisa: It's hot in here. (Lisa slowly takes her clothes off as Mark chuckles)**

**Mark: I mean, the candles, the music, the sexy dress, I mean, what's going on here? (We cut to a famous scene from The Graduate')'**

**Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me.**

They laughed a little with that.

**(Back to the movie. Lisa slowly approaches Mark, attempting to seduce him)**

**Lisa: I like you very much...lover boy.**

**Mark: What are you doing this for?**

**NC (vo; as Mark): Dude, I thought we were gonna talk.**

**Lisa: Don't you like me?**

**Mark: Johnny's my best friend.**

**Lisa: Forget about Johnny.**

**Mark: Uh, I'm leaving now. (He attempts to leave, but Lisa stops him)**

**Lisa: Please don't leave. Please don't leave.**

**NC: (as Mark) Dude, I like dicks, okay? I like dicks. I didn't know you wanted that spelled out for you. (Mark eventually gives in to Lisa's advances, and both he and Lisa make out in the apartment's staircase)**

"At the stairs? Isn't it uncomfortable?"

**NC: But ultimately, he does give in, as Mark and Lisa partake in spiral stair sex. Interesting location. But more important things are going on, like Johnny buying his girlfriend some flowers. (We cut to Johnny buying some roses at a flower shop. All the dialogue featured in the scene is spoken very quickly)**

**Johnny: (approaching the counter) Yeah, can I have a dozen red roses, please?**

**Flower seller: Oh, hi, Johnny. I didn't know it was you.**

**NC: What, wh...**

**Flower seller: (gives Johnny the roses) Here you go.**

**Johnny: That's me.**

**NC: Huh? What the...**

**Johnny: How much is it?**

**Flower seller: That'll be $18.**

**Johnny: (gives the seller some money) Here you go, keep the change.**

**NC: Hey, what?**

**Johnny: (pets the dog on the counter) Hi, doggy.**

**Flower seller: You're my favorite customer.**

**NC: What?**

**Johnny: (walking out of the store) Thanks a lot. Bye.**

**NC: Wait...**

**Flower seller: Bye-bye.**

**NC: Okay, hold on! What just happened?!**

Everyone laughed.

"What was that scene?! Wh- what just happened?!" Rita said.

**NC: I mean, I know he's just buying her some flowers, but...I think they were reading the script backwards or something. In fact, let's analyze this scene. I mean, I know I'm nitpicking, but this whole 20 seconds really fascinates me. (The whole scene of Johnny at the flower shop replays, pausing every time NC speaks)**

"Yeah, I want to see it better."

**Johnny: (approaching the counter) Yeah, can I have a dozen red roses, please?**

**Flower seller: Oh, hi, Johnny. I didn't know it was you.**

"How? Look at him!"

**NC: You didn't know it was him? You didn't recognize the five-foot, girly-haired French zombie until he took off his sunglasses?**

**Flower seller: (gives Johnny the roses) Here you go.**

**Johnny: That's me.**

**NC: Why did he say that? She didn't give him any reason to say that. Is that just his random catchphrase of the day?**

**Johnny: How much is it?**

**Flower seller: That'll be $18.**

**Johnny: (gives the seller some money) Here you go, keep the change. (Pets the dog on the counter) Hi, doggy.**

**Flower seller: You're my favorite customer.**

**Johnny: (walking out of the store) Thanks a lot. Bye. (Johnny then leaves the store and then walks back to his car)**

"That part seemed rushed." Fiona said.

**NC: And what was up with the rushed pace of that last couple seconds? Did they only have enough money to rent the store for like two minutes so they had to shoot it really fast? (NC mimics Johnny walking into the flower shop)**

**NC: (imitating Johnny) Hello, I would like to buy a dozen roses.**

**Offscreen tough guy (voiced by NC): Hey, jackass! I'm closing the store in 30 seconds!**

**NC: (imitating Johnny very fast) Here's the money, keep the change. Hello, doggy. Bye! (Walks away)**

They laughed a little.

**(Back at the apartment, Denny again comes in to see Lisa)**

**Lisa: Hey, Denny. How are you doing?**

**Denny: I'm fine. You look beautiful today. Can I kiss you?**

"Excuse me?" Rita said.

**(NC stares in confusion and shock)**

**Lisa: You are such a little brat.**

**Denny: I'm just kidding! I love you and Johnny.**

**(NC continues to stare, weirded out)**

"Can this movie get weirder?"

**NC: You know, this movie's awkward enough, kid. It doesn't need your help. (We see Johnny come back home)**

**Johnny: Hi, babe. (Gives Lisa the roses) These are for you.**

**Lisa: Did you get your promotion?**

**Johnny: Nah. (Johnny sits down on the couch as Lisa also sits down next to him)**

**Lisa: You didn't get it, did you?**

**NC: What part of "nah" did you not understand?**

**Johnny: They betrayed me, they didn't keep their promise, they tricked me, and I don't care anymore.**

**NC: (briefly face-palms) Oh, Jesus. You know, Jean-Claude Van Damme could be an English teacher compared to this guy.**

"If we knew who that is, we would understand it better." Alice said.

**Lisa: You need a drink.**

"Yay, more belly button sex." Fiona said

**NC: So she makes him a drink of Vodka and...wine, as they get ready for another night of slow, awkward sex. (Johnny and Lisa spend the night drinking and again slowly preparing to make out with each other)**

**NC (as Johnny): Ha-ha-ha, let's role-play. You be Sonya Blade and I'll be a terrible actor.**

Everyone laughed.

"Okay, that was a good one." Rita said.

**(The screen suddenly goes static and then cuts toLinkara in his room, who also looks terrified)**

**Linkara: Don't do it, Critic! There's still time!**

**NC: Linkara?**

"More reviewers?"

"Yeah. He mostly reviews comics." Nova said

**Linkara: You don't wanna sit through The Room. It sucks out your mind and replaces it with stupid!**

**NC: Damn it, Linkara! I made a promise to get through this film, and, by God, I'm gonna keep it!**

**Linkara: You're mad, Critic. MAD!**

**NC: Begone!**

**Linkara: (immediately calm) Okay. (Casually walks off)**

They laughed a little with that.

**(After Johnny and Lisa spend another night together in their bed, the next morning, Claudette comes back to visit Lisa and speak with her)**

**NC: So after Johnny and Lisa take another week to have sex, Lisa's mother drops by again to give more advice.**

**Claudette: Everything goes wrong at once. Nobody wants to help me, and I'm dying.**

**Lisa: You're not dying, Mom.**

**Claudette: I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer.**

"You're taking it very well." Alice said.

**NC: Yikes! Well, gee, you're taking it pretty well.**

**Lisa: Look, don't worry about it. Everything will be fine.**

**NC: And she's taking it despicably well, too. I'm so glad this wasn't any SERIOUS bad news, you know, like, maybe Lisa's getting bored or something.**

**Claudette: Well, at least you have a good man.**

**Lisa: You're wrong. He didn't get his promotion. And he got drunk last night, and he hit me.**

"She lied?! Couldn't she just say I want to break up with you?!" Lillie said.

**Claudette: (looking shocked) Johnny doesn't drink!**

"But he beats her up?" Rita said.

**NC: (laughs) She just admitted that he hits her, and the mother's like, "Johnny doesn't drink...I know he hits you like a football player's wife, but he doesn't drink!" (The film then cuts to another couple named Mike and Michelle walking into the empty apartment) Meanwhile, two friends of Lisa come spontaneously out of nowhere to sneak into her apartment and have sex.**

"Everyone's going there to have sex?"

**Mike: (eating a box of chocolates) Did you know that chocolate is the symbol of love?**

"Lame." Fiona said.

**NC: (as Mike) Did you also know that when it rains, huh-huh, people get wet?**

They laughed a little with that.

**(Just as Mike and Michelle are about to start making out, Lisa and Claudette come in)**

**Claudette: Hello...? (Lisa laughs) What are these characters doing here?**

"Thank you, aunt Judy! Thank you for being the voice of reason!" Rita said.

**NC: I don't know! They serve no purpose to the story and bring the film to yet another complete halt, so I guess you'll have to ask the English-challenged director. (Later, as Denny is playing some ball on the apartment's rooftop, a criminal named Chris-R suddenly appears and confronts him) Meanwhile, Denny is confronted with some bad news.**

**Chris-R: You have my money, right?**

**Denny: Yeah. It's coming. It'll be here in a few minutes.**

"Wait, what? What movie is this? Don't tell me. He took drugs, didn't he?"

**Chris-R: I haven't got five fucking minutes! (Wrestles Denny to the ground with a gun to his head) Where's my fucking money, Denny?!**

"Woah, that was fast!" Fiona said.

**NC: Hey, I think this is how the movie was financed.**

**Chris-R: Where's my money?**

**Denny: I don't have anything!**

**Chris-R: Where's my money, Denny? (A clip from The Big Lebowski is shown)**

**Dude: It's down there somewhere, let me take another look. (His head is stuffed down a toilet by a thug)**

"Damn, all these references and we don't get them." Rita said.

**(Johnny and Mark suddenly arrive and tackle Chris-R down, taking him away and saving Denny, who is confronted by both Lisa and Claudette)**

**NC: But luckily, Johnny and his friends are there to save the day.**

"Wait... the background is a green screen?" Lillie said and Nova nodded.

"Talk about cheap."

**Lisa: What did that man want from you?**

**Denny: Nothing!**

**Claudette: Oh, that was not nothing!**

**Lisa: Tell me everything!**

**Claudette: You have no idea what kind of trouble you're in here, do you?**

"He's still in trouble? Okay, I get the scolding, but he was about to get shot!" Fiona said.

**NC: (as Claudette) Yeah, kid, how dare you have a madman point a gun at you! That's really inconsiderate.**

**Denny: I owe him some money.**

**Lisa: What kind of money?**

**Denny: I bought some drugs off of him. Things got mixed up, I didn't mean for this to happen.**

"Of course." Rita said.

**NC: Oh, but, Denny, don't you know... (We briefly cut to footage from Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue focusing on the "Wonderful Ways to Say No" song, which NC dances to)**

"What is happrning?" Alice said.

"Don't take drugs." Nova said.

**Claudette: A man holds a gun on you, you almost got killed, you expect me to forget that?**

**Denny: You're not my fucking mother!**

**Claudette: You listen to me, boy! (Pulls Denny roughly towards her)**

**Lisa: No, no!**

**(NC laughs at the moment of Claudette pulling Denny)**

Thet couldn't hold their laughter.

**Claudette: Somebody had better do something around here!**

**NC (as Claudette): Or Granny'll bust a cap in your ass!**

"Aunt Judy doesn't play." Fiona said.

**(Johnny and Mark return)**

**Johnny: Are you okay, Denny?**

**Claudette: What's okay? He's taking drugs.**

**Johnny: Let's go home.**

**Lisa: Denny, you know that Johnny's like your father, and we're your friends. We're gonna help you.**

**Johnny: Let's go home. (Walks away with Denny and Lisa)**

**NC (as Denny): Hey, Johnny, what was the point of that scene? (as Johnny) Never question me or I cut you.**

"Yeah, what was the point of it?" Lillie said.

**(We next cut to Mark at his home speaking with Lisa on the phone)**

**Lisa: I miss you.**

**Mark: I just saw you. What are you talking about?**

"You know, this is porno levels of dense." Fiona said.

"Yeah, it's like, _I see there are no lifeguards in this beach _and he's like, _this isn't a beach this is a bathtub._" Nova said, making them laugh a little.

**NC: So, yeah, Lisa invites Mark over again, as Johnny finally heard the lie that Lisa told about him. (Johnny is shown walking to the rooftop, frustrated about something)**

**Johnny: I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did NOT. (Throws his water bottle away and then notices something) Oh, hi, Mark.**

**(NC looks on in sheer horror as the scene begins to replay)**

That made them laugh a little. But slowly their laughter became louder and louder. Thry could stop laughing.

"Holy shit...! That is a special kind of bad acting!" Rita said.

**Johnny: I did not hit her. It's not true...**

**NC: No, no, no, no, no! Don't play it again. I think the evidence is very clear. That is the worst piece of acting that has ever been put on film! I mean, my God! Not one inflection was right, not one word was said correctly, not one breath of air made me believe anything that he was saying! There are middle school plays that put on better performances than that couple of seconds. That was like the Nirvana of bad acting. The Holy Grail! All hail to you, Your Lameness!**

"Exactly!"

**Johnny: I did not hit her. I did NOT. (Throws his water bottle away and then notices something) Oh, hi, Mark. (In a homage to 2001: A Space Odyssey, a fetus with Wiseau's head appears with the supertitle "You Have Reached Enlightenment!")**

**Deep Voice: By God, was that bad!**

They laughed even more.

**(Back to the movie. Johnny speaks with Mark on the rooftop)**

**Mark: You think girls like to cheat like guys do?**

**Johnny: What makes you say that?**

**Mark: I'm just thinking. I used to know a girl, she had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it, beat her up so bad, she ended up in a hospital in Guerrero Street. (Johnny laughs)**

"Why are you laughing? Thar wasn't funny!" Lillie said.

**NC: Ha-ha-ha-ha, that's not funny, you sick fuck.**

**Johnny: (badly dubbed over) What a story, Mark.**

**Mark: Yeah, you can say that again.**

**NC: I think he just did. That line was horribly dubbed.**

**Johnny: What a story, Mark.**

**Mark: Yeah, you can say that again.**

**NC: (imitating Johnny's bad voice dubbing) Oh, can I? Thank you.**

That nade them laugh a little.

**(Mark leaves. Denny comes in)**

**Denny: Hey, Johnny.**

**Johnny: Oh, hi, Denny.**

"Hi Denny." everyone said.

**Denny: What's wrong with Mark?**

**Johnny: He's cranky today. (Laughs)**

**NC: Stop laughing at things that aren't funny, you goddamn weirdo! And why is there no wind blowing in their hair?**

"Because they're obviously in a studio." Rita said.

**Denny: It's about Lisa.**

**Johnny: Go on.**

**Denny: She looks great in her red dress. I think I'm in love with her.**

**Johnny: Go on.**

**NC: Go on? What, you need more?**

**Denny: I feel like I wanna kiss her and tell her that I love her.**

**Johnny: Don't worry about that. Lisa loves you, too, as a person, as a human being.**

**NC: Wow, people take shockingly bad news really well in this movie. Did everybody just take a Xanax cocktail in this story?**

**Johnny: You can love someone deep inside your heart and there is nothing wrong with it. If a lot of people loved each other, the world would be a better place to live.**

**NC: (imitating Johnny) You can read about it in my new book, "The Tao of Johnny". (A book with that exact title is shown) It's real good, huh?**

That made them laugh a little.

**Johnny: If you have any problems, talk to me and I will help you.**

**Denny: Awesome. Thanks, Johnny.**

**Johnny: Let's go eat, huh? (Leaves the rooftop with Denny)**

**NC: Oh, gee. Can we eat HUH? I never had HUH before. Is there a HUH restaurant somewhere around here? (Johnny returns home to speak with Lisa, who is not in the mood to speak with him) So Johnny comes home as Lisa's friend, Michelle, is just leaving.**

**Lisa: I can't talk right now.**

**Johnny: Why, Lisa? Why, Lisa? Please talk to me, please! You're lying, I never hit you! You are tearing me apart, Lisa!**

**NC: (with head in hands) Oh, my God.**

"His acting really hurts me."

**Lisa: Why are you so hysterical?**

**Johnny: Do you understand life? Do you?**

**NC: You know what? I got it. You know what this guy is? He's the Bizarro Fabio. Same hokey acting, same undefinable accent, except where Fabio was muscular and good-looking, this guy is... (The earlier scene of a nude Johnny walking out of his bedroom is shown again)**

**NC: (whimpers in disgust) Never show that again! (Makes a sharp exhale)**

Everyone laughed.

**(One day, Johnny, Mark, Denny and Mike hang out in the alley, throwing a football. The playing stops when Mark accidentally causes Mike to fall to the ground)**

**NC: So the guys meet up and throw a football in the alley because...that's what guys do, I guess...a s Mark lightly taps one of his friends and he falls over like a clumsy ox. What the point of this sequence? Nothing. You could pretty much make trading cards out of how many pointless sequences there are in this movie!**

"He should put a counter for pointless scenes." Alice said.

**Johnny: Let's go home, Denny. (Walks away with Denny)**

"Just because he fell down? Most people would probably laugh at that, but they cancel it?" Rita said.

**NC: Boy, he really wants to get that kid home a lot, doesn't he? I'm not gonna question anything, but I am gonna play this music. (The scene of Johnny and Denny walking away replays in slow-mo while "I Will Always Love You" by the late Whitney Houston plays in the background.) **

"Aw, come on!" Fiona said.

**(Later, Claudette again comes into the apartment to speak with Lisa, as unknown to them, Johnny overhears their conversation from the staircase)**

**NC: So Lisa's mother comes over AGAIN to have yet another tedious dialogue.**

**Claudette: I expected your husband to be a little more generous.**

**Lisa: He's not my husband.**

**Claudette: I know, but Johnny is part of our family.**

**Lisa: Mom, I don't love Johnny anymore. I don't even like him.**

**NC: Didn't we have this conversation like five other times? She's like,.. (Imitates Claudette) "You should like Johnny." (Imitates Lisa) "I don't." (Imitates Claudette) "You're a slut." (Imitates Lisa) "Yes." (Normal voice, angry) WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT?! (Later, Mark and Johnny are shown speaking with their other friend, Peter) So Johnny and Mark sit down and have a talk with their other good friend, Peter.**

"Hi Mark." everyone said.

**Mark: Hey, are you running, um, Bay-to-Breakers this year?**

**Johnny: I am, sure.**

**Peter: No, I'm not doing it this year.**

**Johnny: (laughs) Chicken, Peter. You're just a little chicken. Cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheeeeeeep!**

Rita had her face buried in her hands. She couldn't believe this movie.

**NC: This has been another... (A "Pointless Moment" sting appears in front of NC) Pointless Moment. (The screen once more suddenly goes static and then cuts' to Spoony in his room. Just like Lupa and Linkara before, Spoony also looks terrified)**

**Spoony: No, Critic! Don't do it!**

**NC: Spoony?**

"Another one?" Rita said.

**Spoony: Don't throw your life away, it's not worth it!**

**NC: Okay, look. I'm getting through this movie and that's final.**

**Spoony: No, Critic! Nobody should be forced to watch Highlander II!**

**NC: Highlander II? I'm not reviewing Highlander II.**

**Spoony: (relieved) Oh, good. For a minute there, I thought you'd gone totally insane. That's a relief. So, tell me, uh, what movie are you reviewing?**

**NC: Well, I'm reviewing The Room.**

**(Upon hearing that, Spoony screams like a girl and runs out of his room)**

They laughed a little.

**NC: Thanks for that.**

"It looked like he was going to the window." Lillie said.

**(One day, Johnny, Mark, Peter and Denny, all dressed in tuxedos, speak with each other in the apartment)**

**NC: So all the guys get dressed up in their tuxedos as I guess they're getting ready to go to the wedding. (The four men go outside to throw a football in the street) Oh, wait, no, they're going out to throw the football around again. **

"What's with the football thing? Actually what is football?"

"It's a sport." Nova said

"Then why are they throwing the ball, if you call that a ball, and not kicking it? If it's called football, why are they using their hands and not their feet?" Alice said.

"I don't know, tell that to Americans! There is also a sport they call soccer, but that's football for the rest of the world."

"But why-"

"Because America!"

**NC: Okay, well, then are they going to the wedding? (The film cuts to Mark and Johnny, now wearing normal clothes, visiting a restaurant) No, they just take 'em off and go on with their daily lives. Do they always wear tuxes when they play football? Is that just an everyday occurrence for them? (mimics an excited person speaking on the phone) What's that? You're going to play football? Oh, great, I'll go and put on my finest tux! Oh, wait, no, no, no, I'm getting married tomorrow, so I gotta iron out my jersey.**

**Johnny: We got a new client at the bank, we'll make a lot of money.**

**Mark: What client?**

**Johnny: I cannot tell you, it's confidential.**

**Mark: Oh, come on. Why not?**

**Johnny: No, I can't. Anyway, how is your sex life? (NC spits out the drink that he happened to be drinking at that point upon hearing that line)**

Everyone laughed.

"Wgat kind of conversation is that?!" Rita said.

**Mark: I can't talk about it.**

**Johnny: Why not?**

**NC: Why not? How about you just brought it the fuck out of nowhere, you...weird alien man! (Later, Mark comes over to the apartment to see Lisa) And, yeah, speaking of awkward, Lisa invites Mark over for another night of thrills.**

"Again?!" Fiona said.

**Mark: What's going on here?**

"He can't be that stupid!"

**NC: Oh, my God, do you need landing lights to the bed?! She wants to sleep with you! That's the thing she does every other stinking time you're over, you fucking idiot! (Lisa and Mark make out in Johnny's bed, but the scene is fast-forwarded) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Insert gratuitous sex scene here. So then we cut to...**

"Thanks." Rita said.

**(The film cuts to Johnny and Mark playing football in the park)**

"Do they do anything else than throwing around that "ball"?"

**NC: Holy shit! Do these guys do anything else other than play football? This is unbelievable. Hell, they're not even playing football, they're just throwing it back and forth! Do they even know the rules of football? Why don't you get a new hobby? You know, like Mark. He's made a wonderful hobby out of screwing his best friend's fiancée and yet acting totally surprised every time he does it! (Mark again visits Lisa at her apartment. Lisa takes her top off in front of Mark)**

**Lisa: Come on.**

**Mark: Uh, what are you doing?**

**Lisa: Nothing.**

"AaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! ARE WE REALLY GOING THROUGH THIS AGAIN?!"

**(NC bashes his head against the wall in total annoyance as Lisa and Mark yet again prepare to make out. The film then cuts to Claudette again coming over to visit Lisa)**

**NC: Boy, this movie isn't nearly repetitive enough, though. Why don't we have yet another talk with Lisa's mother, as they discuss the same thing they discussed in the last three conversations.**

**Lisa: I'm fixing the apartment for Johnny's birthday, but I'm really not into it.**

**Claudette: Oh, why not?**

**NC: Wait, wait, wait, I'm keen to guess. (Clears throat)"I'm in love with Mark, not Johnny".**

**Lisa: I'm in love with Mark, not Johnny.**

**NC: "It's not right, Lisa!"**

**Claudette: It's not right, Lisa.**

**NC: Skip it!**

"Thank you!"

**(The scene fast-fowards and moves over to the next scene, showing Johnny arriving at his surprise birthday party attended by all his friends)**

**NC: So after Johnny returns from his Grima Wormtongue audition, we see a surprise party being thrown for his birthday. (Johnny and his friends drink and chat with each other as the scene suddenly changes to a night shot of the city) Okay, enough of that scene. (The scene returns to the party) And now back to that scene. What, was that the screensaver while the movie loads? (The city shot replays with a loading bar and subtitle "Loading Dick Sauce of a Movie...")**

Everyone laughed.

**Lisa: Hey, everybody, let's go outside for some fresh air. (Everyone leaves except Lisa and Mark) Wait. I have something I wanna show you.**

**Mark: Oh, really?**

"Even at Johnny's birthday! What! A! Slut!" Fiona said.

**NC (as Mark): Hey, what's going on here? (Lisa and Mark prepare to make out once again)**

**NC: That's right. Just make out during your own fiancée's birthday party. What in all probability could go wrong? (A man named Steven suddenly comes in and catches Lisa and Mark in the act)**

**Steven: What's going on here?**

"You know, someone would catch them at some point."

**NC: Oh, yeah, there's tons of people around and you can get caught at any minute.**

**Steven: (to Lisa) Do you understand what you're doing? You're going to destroy Johnny! He's very sensitive.**

**NC: (as Steven) That's right, you listen to me...whoever I am!**

"Yeah, that's right, who are you?" Rita said.

**(As Lisa and Mark argue with each other, Johnny steps in and joins the argument)**

**NC: So as the night goes on, Mark and Johnny start to get on each other's nerves.**

"Finally."

**Mark: You really don't know, do you?**

**Johnny: Maybe I know more than you think I do, Mark!**

**Mark: Shit, all right.**

**Johnny: What do you want from me, huh? (He pushes Mark away. Mark immediately attacks Johnny and they fight alongside superimposed cat noises, but they quickly stop)**

Everyone laughed.

"I feel like I should be a little offended, but I liked it." Fiona said.

"Me too." Lillie said.

**Johnny: All right, all right! Okay, folks, everything is fine. The fight is over. I'm sorry, Mark.**

**NC: Well, good. It looks like that's over with.**

**(When Lisa flaunts her affair with Mark in front of Johnny, he confronts Mark again)**

**Mark: I just wanna talk to you.**

**Johnny: Since when do you give me orders?**

**(NC looks fed up)**

"Here we go again." Rita said.

**Mark: 'Cause Lisa changed her mind about you. (Johnny scoffs) Wake up, man! What planet are you on?**

**NC: That's the first legitimate question I've heard throughout this movie.**

**Johnny: I think you should leave right now, Mark.**

**Mark: Don't worry about it, man.**

**Johnny: (pushes Mark away) Don't touch me, motherfucker! Get out. (Mark and Johnny again fight over superimposed cat noises as Lisa attempts to break it up)**

They laughed again.

"_Don't touch me, motherfucker._ Man, this movie has so many unbelievable lines."

**Lisa: Stop it! Stop it!**

**Johnny: You betrayed me, you're not good! You're, you're just a chicken! Cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep!**

**NC (as Mark): Nobody poorly imitates my favorite farm animal!**

They couldn't stop laughing.

**(The party guests eventually break up the fight)**

**Man: It's over!**

**Johnny: It's not over! Everybody betrayed me. I'm fed up with this world! (Walks away)**

"Worold." Fiona said.

**NC: (chuckles) Oh, geez. You know, it's like Christopher Walken if they sucked out all likability. (We briefly cut to a clip of Christopher Walken on Saturday Night Live)**

**Christopher Walken: Ouch. **

**(After the party, Johnny locks himself in the bathroom in despair)**

**NC: So Johnny locks himself in the bathroom and refuses to come out.**

**Lisa: You can come out now, Johnny.**

**Johnny: In a few minutes, bitch.**

**NC: Say, you know what this seems like a perfect time to do?**

**(Lisa calls Mark on the phone)**

**Mark: Hello?**

**Lisa: Hi, Mark, I need to talk to you.**

"Hi Mark." everyone ssid.

"Even when he's in the bathroom."

**NC (as Johnny): Oh, God, are you serious?!**

**Lisa: Don't worry about Johnny, he's just being a big baby.**

**NC (as Johnny): I'm standing right here, man!**

**Lisa: You know I love you very much.**

**NC (as Johnny): You're tearing me apart, Lisa!**

"_You're tearing me apart, Lisa!_" Lillie said, doing an impression. "I get why people actually like this."

**(After an outraged Johnny berates Lisa for betraying him, which prompts her to end their relationship permanently and live with Mark, Johnny kicks Lisa out of the apartment, and then has an emotional breakdown)**

**NC: So Johnny finally throws the bitch out as he throws the most over-the-top and yet somehow nonchalant temper tantrum.**

**Johnny: (walking down the stairs while screaming)Why, Lisa? Why?! Why?! You bitch! (Johnny trashes the apartment by, not so much throwing objects, but pushing and moving things, leaning a picture on the camera that is filming him and removing clothing drawers)**

**NC (as Johnny): Yeah, I'm angry, I guess. Roar! Roar! I'm really mean and frustrated, huh? This is what angry people do, right, huh? **

They couldn't stop laughing.

**(Johnny breaks a mirror, and then sits down and brings out a gun)**

"No way, he's gonna kill himself?" Rita said.

**NC: Finally, Johnny can take it no more. He puts this godforsaken performance to a stop.**

**(Johnny puts the gun in his mouth and shoots, killing himself. The scene fades to black, then quickly returns as Lisa and Mark enter the next morning, finding Johnny on the floor)**

"He actually killed himself! I would do it too, if I was in that movie."

**Mark: Wake up, Johnny! Come on!**

"Wake up? He's dead!"

**NC: Wake up? I don't think you really wake up from a bullet in the mouth!**

**Lisa: Is he dead?**

**(NC stares in complete shock, and frustratingly re-enacts the moment, trying to comprehend what Lisa just said, but before he loses it, he calmly says...)**

Rita had the same reaction.

**NC**(/Rita)**: Well, yes. Yes, he is, young lady. He has passed on. This person is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff. Bereft of life! He rests in peace! If he didn't shoot himself, he'd be pushing up daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket! He's shuffled off the mortal coil! Run down the curtain and joined the friggin' choir invisible! THIS...IS AN EX...PERSON!**

Everyone was shocked.

**Pet shop owner: (from the famous Monty Python"Dead Parrot" sketch) Well, I'd better replace it, then.**

**NC**(/Rita)**: GOOOODDDD!**

Everyone laughed.

"What was that? You said the exact same thing! But his voice was more high-pitched." Fiona said.

"I don't know... it's been a long time since I've been like this."

**(As Lisa cries, Mark kisses Johnny on the forehead)**

**NC (as a British narrator): Goodnight, sweet prick. And flights of assholes sing thee to thy rest.**

"Wh- why is he kissing him?" Lillie said.

**Lisa: I've lost him, but I still have you, right? Right?**

"WHAT! A! BITCH!" Fiona said.

**NC: Wow! That's a clumsy rebound.**

**Mark: (moves away from Lisa) You don't have me.**

"Yeah, now you're saying it. Too late!"

**Lisa: Mark, we're free to be together. I love you.**

**NC: (as Lisa) Come on, we'll have sex on his corpse! It'll be tons of fun! (Denny comes in, terrified)**

**Denny: What's happening?!**

"Hi Denny." everyone said.

**Mark: Don't look, Denny.**

**Denny: Johnny's dead! (The three people stay and comfort each other over Johnny's body as the police arrive and the scene fades out, ending the movie)**

**NC (as a British narrator): For never has there been a tale of more blow, than this dumbass bitch and her Tommy Wiseau.**

**NC: And that's The Room. Christity-Christ-Christ-Christ!**

"Who's Christ?" Alice said.

"He's m- a god." Nova said.

**(Footage of The Room plays as NC speaks)**

**NC: This movie is a miracle. I've never seen a performance so consistently bad or writing so hypnotizingly lame. But to be honest, I know you're going to think I'm crazy, it's really worth checking out. It truly is one of those movies you have to see to believe. Nobody could willingly make a movie this interestingly bad. It had to be the warped mindset of some weirdo whose international origins remain a mystery. So, if you're really up for some absolutely horrible, yet surprisingly entertaining shit, this movie is for you. And that's my review. I hope you enjoyed it and... (The future NC suddenly comes back)**

**Future NC: Critic, we've got to go! They're on to us!**

"Oh yeah, we had that plot." Fiona said.

**NC: Why, what's going...? (Two seahorses suddenly enter the basement)**

"I'm not questioning anything anymore." Rita said.

**Seahorse 1: Are you watching The Room?**

**Seahorse 2: You know that movie is outlawed!**

**Seahorses: Seize them!**

**NC: Eeee!**

**Future NC: Vamonos!(The two Critics flee the basement, and we are again shown a clip from Back to the Future as the DeLorean blasts the two Critics back to the present. NC is then shown back in his old room)**

**NC: Ahh, well, I gotta admit, after going through all that, it sure is nice to be back in my old room. **

"Hey, weren't the walls white?" Lillie said.

"They were." Nova said.

**NC: (NC curiously looks around and notices his wall is a different color) Hey, how come my wall's a bit of a different color? (Suddenly becomes frightened) Oh, my God. I traveled back and forth so much that it must have altered the present! What if the machines have taken over? What if human and apes have switched places? What if all cops are judge, jury and executioner? What if Chris Tucker is a sci-fi radio announcer in a dress? What?! WHAT?!**

**Future NC: Actually, nothing's different. Your wall's just a bit of a different color.**

**NC: Really? That's it? No other huge, mind-boggling alterations at all?**

**Future NC: Nope. Just a different wall. Oh, that, and you have a tail now. (NC looks at his backside, then shrugs)**

**NC: Well, that'll take a little getting used to.**

"He took it well." Rita said.

**NC: Welcome to my new location. I hope you enjoy it, and, as always: I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (NC gets up and leaves. It's obvious, though, that there is no tail)**

**THE END**

**Channel Awesome Tagline: Johnny: You are tearing me apart, Lisa!**

"You know, now that I watched it, I think I'll start making reviews again as well."

"Our internet stars are back in action!" Lillie said.

"And angrier than ever!"

"That's great. Well, I have only 20 minutes. I just came to invite you to my house at Saturday." Nova said.

"Really? And the reason?" Alice said.

"You see, this Friday, it's my brother's birthday and it's also Christmas, which is a Earth holiday, so we're doing it both. So I thought of making an after Christmas party and invite you to experience this holiday."

"That's nice."

"Anyway, let's watch one more video and then I'll leave."

**And done! Like, follow, leave a review and NOT A REQUEST, sent a PM and read the Nova Force. See you soon!**


	74. Ultimate justgirlythings

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 71: Ultimate justgirlythings**

"Okay, before I put the video, I want to warn you. You will be shocked, you will be disgusted, you'll question yourselves '_What the fuck did I just watched?_'. Are you ready?" Nova said.

"Just start the video." Fiona said.

"Okay, but I warned you."

"Come on, how weird can it be?" Lillie said.

**Fake Frank (as Guy Fieri): So let's just say you're an average dude, living the life of an average dude. But for some dudes getting girls to like them can be quite the challenge. Luckily, there's a thing called **_**justgirlythings **_**on the internet and it tells us exactly what girls like. Now it is scientifically proven that if we follow their instructions, they will be obliged to give us a chance. And I'm gonna show that to you today. Ladies! We're just about any girly thing that any girl could want!**

"So, he's going to do things that girls like... but probably more idiotic?" Alice said.

"Well, no matter how he does it, girls must like it. So you must like it." Nova said.

"This will be fun." Fiona said.

**When he chases after you**

**(Salamander Man chases two Japanese school girls.)**

"What the fuck?" she said while laughing, like everyone else. "He scared two girls!"

"What is that black thing on his butt?" Rita said.

"It's way worse than I expected." Alice said.

**Being fresh out of the shower**

**(The Shaman comes out of the bathtub while screaming.)**

They laughed a little.

"That little guy has a nice body." Lillie said.

**Having a few drinks at the end of the day**

**Pink guy: Cheers! (Throws the glass at the wall) (screams) NYEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHH!**

"Why would he do that?! Is he... you know... with special needs?" Rita said.

"No, he's a legend. And it's a wonder why his videos aren't taken down." Nova said.

"Why? He didn't do anything that would make the site take them down so far." Alice said.

**Loving when boys are good with animals**

"Oh, I love it when they are so good with animals." Lillie said.

**Frank: (to a dead baby rat) Stewart? Stewart?! STEWART! CPR! CPR! MEDIC!**

The girls were kinda disgusted, but laughed none the less.

"Was that an actual dead rat?" Rita said.

"Yup. He uses dead animals in his videos. Either rats or birds." Nova said.

"I don't feel so well..." Alice said.

"He was doing CPR to a dead rat with his index. That was kinda cute to be honest." Rita said while giggling.

**Wanting a huge walk-in closet**

**(Chromosome Kid has a breakdown in the closet.)**

**Frank: Shut the fuck up!**

"What was that? Why was he naked?" Fiona said.

"He's the Chromosome Kid, I don't know." Nova said.

**Loving the smell of fresh laundry**

**(Pink Guy has a breakdown in a public washer, scaring the women inside.)**

They laughed a little.

"They're so scared!" Fiona said while laughing.

**Classy boys**

**(Dade and Frank are on the floor screaming.)**

"Yeah, very classy." Lillie said.

**Watching fireworks with the ones you love**

**(Tit Job Specialist is getting shot in the butt with fireworks.)**

They all laughed.

"What are they thinking...?" Fiona said.

**Taking pictures of fireworks**

**(More fireworks to the butt.)**

They all laughed again.

**When he plans surprises for you**

**(Pink Guy spreads his legs in front of people in the elevator.)**

They all burst into laughter.

"Okay, that was good." Rita said.

**Dreaming about Zayn**

"Who's Zayn? And why does he look so gorgeous?" Lillie said.

"A singer." Nova said.

**(Girl Frank is in a bathtub, looking at a photo of Zayn and she coughs blood on it. **_**ZAYN PLS.**_**)**

"Okay, that's kind of an overreaction." Fiona said.

**Believing that Zayn Malik is perfection**

**(Same clip)**

**Zayn Malik's eyes**

**(Same clip)**

**Feeling beautiful because of One Direction**

**(Same clip)**

"So he's in a pop band. Oh my gosh, the one in the middle is so cute!" Lillie said.

"I know, right?!" Fiona said. Then she looked at Nova. "Don't look at me like that. Like you didn't call a singer sexy after you started dating me."

"... You got me there." Nova said. "But I have you now, and you are a singer."

"True."

**Zayn's high notes**

**(Same clip)**

"Okay, we get it!" Rita said.

**Hoping to be happily in love when you're older**

**Old guy: I hope you all get cancer! Fuck you's all.**

They all laughed.

"That was so mean!" Lillie said.

**Playing silly games with him**

**(They all play rock paper scissors and Jingle Balls chokes on a stick.)**

"What the hell is wrong with these people? Seriously." Rita said.

**When boys do that adorable half smile**

"It's not that cute. It's actually creepy." Fiona said.

**(Dade half smiles.)**

They laughed a little.

"That was disturbing." Alice said.

**Hoping he will notice you**

**(Frank is bothering a guy at a crane game, doing gestures and calling him a faggot.)**

They laughed.

**Can play an instrument**

**(Salamander Man plays the recorder with his nose.)**

"That's... kinda impressive." Rita said.

**Writing your own songs**

**Politikz: **_**I'm a spiritual, lyrical, individual, spiritual, miracle, lyrical, individual-**_

"That was bad." Fiona said.

**Swim with fish**

"I don't like this. Is he going to shove his dick in a fish?" Rita said.

**(Frank takes a squid out of the water.)**

**Frank: Oh boy? (jerks off the squid) Look at the pain in its eyes.**

They laughed a little.

"Close enough."

**Taking a bath together**

**(Frank is being drowned by someone I don't know his name.)**

They started laughing.

"Why are we laughing?" Alice said.

**Taking relaxing baths**

**(Same clip)**

"I like that someone threw a bucket at him." Fiona said.

**Firework finales**

**(Everyone tries to avoid the fireworks.)**

"That looked dangerous. And I doubt that they have Auras." Rita said.

"They don't." Nova said.

**When boys never give up on you**

**(The first clip in slow motion)**

They laughed again.

**That one best friend that you do everything with**

**(Pink Guy and Red Dick are humping an guy in an elevator.)**

They laughed even louder.

"Poor guy." Lillie said.

**Loving the taste of fresh watermelon**

"I prefer pineapple." Alice said.

"I hope not on pizza." Nova said.

"Of course not."

**(It's Frank and a koku-jin that I don't know his name. Frank licks a watermelon, the koku-jin his nipples.)**

"What the- what was that?" Rita said.

"I have a feeling that this is racist." Lillie said.

**Trying to forget him but he's all you think about**

**(Pink Guy goes to a random girl.)**

**Pink Guy: WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?! (repeats in slow motion)**

They all laughed.

"Why is he scaring people?" Rita said while laughing.

**Support gay rights**

**(Frank and Red Dick are slapping the specialist's butt.)**

"Is that what boys do together?" Lillie said.

**Playfully playing**

**(Red Dick whips Salamander Man with a belt.)**

The girls winced but then they started laughing.

**Wanting to take a romantic bath with him**

"No, I find it weird." Fiona said.

**(Frank is in the tub with noodles.)**

They laughed a little.

"Look at his face." she said while laughing a little.

**Taking a bath with him**

**(Frank eats the food in the tub.)**

"Eww, that's bath water! Why would you eat that?" Lillie said.

**Lush bath bombs**

**Frank: (Frank drops flavour powder on him) Yeah, boy. Bon appetit!**

**When boys can cook**

**Fake Frank (as Guy Fiery): Now we can look at the quesadilla, right? A little salt on there. And a little bit of salsa there.**

The girls now saw everything. They were ready to throw up and Alice fainted.

"Dead rats? He's cooking dead rats?!" Fiona said.

"What the fuck?! Where did he even find these?!" Rita said.

"I don't feel so good..." Lillie said.

**When he cooks an amazing meal for you**

**The Shaman: Why are you serving me dead rats? (He goes to the bathroom to throw up.)**

**Fake Frank: Aw shit.**

"Exactly us now!" Fiona said.

**When he cooks for you**

**Fake Frank: It's a family recipe!**

**The Shaman: This is fucked up! You're a sick man, Frank!**

Alice woke up. "Is it over with the rats?" she said.

**Boys who like animals**

**Fake Frank: (holding a dead rat) You can tell it really had a horrible death. **_**Look at da flick of da wrist! Look at da flick of da wrist!**_

"Stop it! It's disgusting!" Lillie said while laughing.

"Why did you show me that?!" Alice said.

"Hey, I warned you, didn't I?" Nova said.

**Adorable baby animals**

"Please not rats, please not rats..." Alice said.

**Fake Frank: (holds a rat fetus) We seem that we found a... failed... failed nest. (Changes to the cooking scene) I'm gonna roll 'em up to a... more like a churro.**

"I can't-!". Alice ran to the bathroom to throw up with Lillie following.

"Why would he make a video using dead rats?!" Fiona said.

"I don't know. Thankfully for him, he stopped doing these kinds of videos and became a musician. Not that he wasn't already making music." Nova said. After the other two came back, they continued the video.

"Don't you ever show us that again!" Lillie said.

**Boys with abs**

**(The Shaman is flexing his muscles.)**

"Wow, he does have a nice body." Rita said.

**Taking a hot shower after a long day**

**(Frank is being tortured by having his face covered with a table cloth and pouring water on him.)**

"Holy shit! I wonder how he survived!" Fiona said.

**You're not ugly... Society is**

**Dade: GOD LEFT ME UNFINISHED!**

**Remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect**

**(Same clip)**

"Is that chocolate on him?"

**Being addicted to chocolate**

**(Dade screams)**

**Eating the leftover chocolate icing**

**(Dade and Barf Man throw up chocolate on HURSHES KiSess.)**

"It's official. I don't want to eat chocolate again." Lillie said.

**Going on a boat with him**

**(Frank is canoeing on a blow up kiddie seat on a small lake or big puddle.)**

They laughed a little.

**Hot swimmers**

**(Same clip)**

**Pool parties**

**(Same clip)**

**Getting crazy at parties**

**(Dade is screaming and Frank is whipping the wall with a belt.)**

"That's not crazy, that's retarded." Rita said.

**Wearing a belt**

**(Same clip)**

**Boys with nice jawlines**

**(Frank shows his jawline)**

They laughed a little.

"What girl likes that? People with jawlines like that are basically assholes." Fiona said.

**Decorating your dorm room**

**(Pink Guy throws cups at the wall.)**

"Do you remember how long it took to decorate our dorm room?"

"Oh man, that was a long day." Rita said.

"But it turned out really good." Alice said.

**Eating brownie batter**

**(Someone I don't know the name of enjoys it.)**

**Being crazy**

**(Dade screams)**

**Being crazy**

**(Same clip)**

**Trying new things with your friends**

**Frank: So we have mushrooms, snails, tissues. (He makes them in the blender and puts it on a plastic plate. Red Dick throws up on the plate.)**

"Eww! Why?!" Lillie said.

**Always feeling upset when you fight with your best friend**

**(Jamal grabs Pink Guy and throws him at a desk, breaking the shelves.)**

"That kinda surprised me!" Alice said.

**When he sings to you**

**(Dade screams)**

**Listening to him sing**

**(Same clip)**

**Boys who have amazing laughs**

**(Compilation of Frank laughing)**

They laughed.

"Make me a sandwich!" Rita said while laughing.

**When boys are kinda shy**

**(Frank goes to a Japanese McDonald's)**

**Frank: Uh, do you have any pusi?... Pusi?**

They laughed again.

"Why would you go at a restaurant?" Fiona said.

**Eating fresh watermelon on a hot day**

**(The koku-jin licking the watermelon like it's pusi.)**

**Fake Frank: Okay, yeah I k-kinda see why girls wouldn't want to see this.**

_**It's Filthy Frank, motherfucker! It's Filthy Frank, bitch!**_

_**Let's get some pusi tonight!**_

"Gross! Where did he find that picture?!" Lillie said.

"After watching this... it ruined every fantasy I had." Fiona said.

"Just what I expected. Anyway, I must go now. See you at Saturday, girls! Bye!" Nova said.

"Bye!" the girls said.

"Hey, he left this site on our computer." Alice said.

"I guess he wanted us to have it." Fiona said.

"Cool, I want to see more movie reviews. They were fun. Hey, that looks interesting. _The wall._" Rita said.

**And done! Like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, sent a PM if you want and read the Nova Force. See you soon!**


	75. Nora's list

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 72: Nora's list**

I have a question for you. What would you want the first thing to see when you wake up to be? Some people want to see the room of your dreamy house. Some want to see their love interest next to them, smiling. Some want to just wake up in their bedroom, after a bad dream... I don't know where I was going with this. I guess it had something to do with the fact that no matter the situation, the first thing that Lie Ren always sees first when he wakes up is the happy face of his best friend, Nora Valkyrie. Like it is right now. "Good morning, Ren! Boop!" she whispered, so she wouldn't wake up the rest, as she booped his nose.

"Good morning, Nora." Ren said, while messing her hair, as if she was a puppy.

"Can you make me breakfast?"

"Sure.". She got off his bed to let him get up and go to the dorm's kitchen. Does a dorm room there have a kitchen? I'll say that it has, because otherwise it would feel incomplete. Like this world. Get it? No? I'll stop now. "Pancakes?"

"Pancakes."

"Why do I even ask?". Now that that's done, she went to the wardrobe and dressed up, while humming _Up, down, touch the ground._How did she know that song? I don't know. After that, she skipped to the kitchen. She sat down at the table and waited for Ren to prepare her breakfast. At the time it was ready, the rest of the team woke up, because of the smell of the pancakes. They got off the bed and went to the kitchen.

"Good morning." Pyrrha said.

"Good morning, guys!" Nora said.

"You made breakfast for all of us?" Jaune said, as he saw three more plates.

"Well, since I was making breakfast for Nora, I thought of making for all." Ren said.

"They look delicious!" Pyrrha said.

"Thanks.". He turned to put the frying pan in the sink, but when he turned to look at them, he saw Nora's plate empty and Jaune and Pyrrha's surprised expressions.

"I know I shouldn't be surprised... but I still am." Jaune said.

"Thanks, Renny! Delicious as always! I'm going to need a lot of energy!" Nora said.

"What for?" Pyrrha said.

"I'm going to do stuff from my list again! Let's see what I'll do today.". She took out her scroll and picked something random. "Today I'll be... a stripper?". Ren choked on his bite when he heard that and Pyrrha immediately helped him. "Why would I write that? No, I'll be... a barber! That's better. Now, I only need someone who needs a shave. See you later, guys!". And with that she left. Ren finally spit out his bite.

"Let's hope that she won't cut someone's throat." Jaune said.

* * *

_15 MINUTES LATER_

Nora returned to her dorm room, but she was sad. Her friends saw her. "Nora, what happened?"

"No one wanted me to shave them. Half of them ran away..." she said.

"It's okay. You can do something el-" Pyrrha said.

"Wait... my barber senses are tickling. To the principal's office!". She then ran to the principal's office.

"Barber senses?" Jaune said. He and Pyrrha looked at Ren, who shrugged in reply.

* * *

_AT THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE_

"These are a lot of complaints." Ozpin said.

"And I get why so many. Fast talking, story telling and no teaching, absense of staff, sexual harassment?!" Glynda said.

"You forgot the abolition of Pizza Wednesday at the cafeteria."

"Yeah, because it's very important. I mean, we already have _her _associates to deal with, but you have to do something about that. And for Pete's sake, can you go shave?"

"Well, I'm sure these problems can be easily solved. About the sexual harassment you're right, I must check that. And probably fire professor Peach. Also, does it really look bad? I wanted to see how I would look."

"It just doesn't look good on you."

"Then I'll shave."

"Did somebody say shave?!" Nora said, who was at the elevator, wearing a barber outfit.

"Ms Valkyrie, what are you doing here?" Glynda said.

"I sensed that principal Ozpin wanted a shave, so here I am!"

"How didn't we hear the elevator?"

"You have experience as a barber, Ms Valkyrie?"

"Nope! It's my first time, sir!"

"... Okay. I'll let you shave me."

"What?! What are you saying?!" Glynda said.

"Relax, Glynda. Who knows? She might be good. Besides, we have auras."

"Awesome! But first, let me take a phone call." Nora said. She called a number. "Hi! Can you please come here? I need your help. You can't? Sorry for bothering. You will? Okay!". She ended her call. And then Nova appeared.

"Hey Ozzy!" Nova said. _*insert sitcom applause*_

"Nova?" Ozpin said.

"I'm his clone. He's busy right now, so I'm here."

"Okay, but why are you here?"

"I called Nova to create the background!" Nora said.

"What background?" Glynda said. Nova #2 snapped his fingers and the office was now a barbershop.

"Okay, now I can do my work.". Nora prepared her customer. "Music, please!". Nova #2 took a small stereo out if nowhere and played the music.

**BGM: Hungarian Dance No. 5**

_**Now it's time for another background music segment! Move with the rhythm of music! Our next selection, for a classic barber scene, Brahm's Hungarian Dance No. 5!**_

Nora was done with the shaving foam. She the put it and rubbed it on Ozpin's face. She washed her hands, wiped them, whipped them and wiped them on her coat. She started sharpening her straight razor. After that, she took a thread of her hair and cut it to see if the razor was sharp. She rubbed it on a... rubber belt? Is that what it is? I don't know. I mean that's what Charlie Chaplin did. And then she started shaving him, perfectly. She wiped the blade on a paper towel and shaved. She wiped again and shaved. She wiped and shaved. Now that she shaved him, she rubbed the razor on the rubver belt or whatever, put it on the table, poured the after shave on her hands and rubbed it on Ozpin's face. She wiped it with a towel and checked if she forgot something. She saw something in his ear and she cleaned with her index. She then took a brush and brushed his hair. After that, she put it on the table, took off the cover from him, made him stand up and gave him his cane. And that was it.

**End of BGM**

"Done!". Nova and Glynda were surprised by her skill and applauded. Nora took a mirror showed his face to him. "How is it?"

"I'm impressed, ms Valkyrie. You've done an excellent job. My skin feels soft and smooth."

"Aww, thanks!" she said. "Barber: Check! Thanks for letting me do it. C'mon clone Nova! We have a lot more to do!". And with that, Nova #2 turned the office back to normal and they both left.

"I was fearing that something would go wrong." Glynda said.

"Me too." Ozpin said.

* * *

_LATER_

Nora and Nova entered team JNPR's dorm room, wher the rest of the team was inside. "How did it go?" Jaune said.

"It went great!" Nora said.

"Why is Nova here?"

"It's his clone and he helped me with the background. Now, the next thing to be is... a pirate captain!"

"Pirate captain?" Pyrrha said.

"Yeah! And you can be my pirate crew!"

"Huh?" they all said.

"Come on, it'll be fun! It's not like we have something to do now!"

"Besides studying?" Ren said.

"Exactly! So, what do you say?". They looked at each other and thought about this.

"Wait, why are we thinking about it? I'm in." Jaune said.

"Me too." Ren said.

"It sounds fun!" Pyrrha said.

"Awesome! Clone Nova, do your magic!" Nova said.

"What's the magic word?" Nova #2 said.

"Please, do your magic!"

"Actually it's _Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious _but since you're polite, it's time for a pirate adventure!". He snapped his fingers and they disappeared.

* * *

**BGM: GomuGomu Bazooka(the first song in the track) - One Piece**

Now they were all in a boat, in the middle of the ocean, wearing pirate outfits. "Look, guys! We are pirates now!" Nora said. Everyone had their places. Jaune was at the mast, Ren at the steering wheel and Pyrrha at the sails. "I'm going to be the queen of pirates!"

"Wait, aren't I supposed to be the captain?! I'm the leader of the team!" Jaune said.

"Just let her have it!" Ren said.

"Why are we yelling?!" Pyrrha said.

"I'm at the mast, I can't hear anything up here!... Uh oh..." Jaune said. But he started feeling sick. "I forgot about my motion sickness..."

"_Don't worry, I got you, fam!_" Nova said from somewhere.

"Hey... I feel much better now! Yes! I DON'T HAVE MOTION SICKNESS ANYMORE!"

"_It's temporary. After the adventure, I'll give it back._"

"Aw man..."

"Let's see. Ship, check. Crew, check. Outfits, check. Funny pirate phrases. Aargh! Shiver me timbers! Dance the hempen jig! Booty! Poop deck! Cockswain! Check. Pirate fight. Hey, clone Nova, can we get enemy pirates?" Nora said.

"_Sure._"

**End of BGM**

"ENEMY SHIP!" Jaune shouted, looking through the scope.

"What?! Where?!" Nora said.

"At east of us! And it's coming closer!"

"Everyone! Get ready for battle!"

"Aye aye, captain!" the others said.

"Wait! Their sail...! It has a big red rose!" Jaune said.

"A rose?" Pyrrha said.

"Wait... IT'S TEAM RWBY!"

**BGM: Pirate (2) - One Piece**

"Team RWBY? Why are they here?" Ren said.

"_You know what they say, the more the merrier. Now let me go over there as the scene changes._"

* * *

_AT TEAM RWBY'S SHIP_

"Why are we doing this again?" Weiss said.

"Because it's a pirate adventure! It's fun!" Ruby said.

"I had better things to do."

"Like filing your nails?!" Blake said.

"At least I'm not reading those stupid hentai comics!"

"They're not comics, they're manga! And it's not stupid, IT'S ART!"

"IT'S PORN!"

"Why are we yelling?!" Yang said.

"I'm at the mast. I can't hear anything up here!" Blake said.

"How is that possible?!"

"I don't know!"

"Also, come on, Ice Queen. What's wrong with being a pirate? Don't tell me that you're not having fun."

"I would, if I wasn't in a smelly old boat, in the middle of a smelly ocean!" Weiss said, making everyone else groan.

"Why are you here again?"

**End of BGM**

"_Hey, how's it going?_"

"It would've been better if Weiss wasn't complaining."

"You're complaining now!"

"Hey, I see team JNPR's ship!" Blake said.

"Good! Let's take down their ship and take the treasure! There is treasure, right?" Ruby said.

"_There is._"

"Huh... it sure takes a lot of time to get there." Yang said.

"Can we go a little faster?" Ruby said.

"_Sure. Hold on._". Then an unknown force started pulling their ship.

"Too fast! TOO FAST!" Weiss said. They reach JNPR's ship in no time. It took them some time to stop feeling dizzy. The two captains got in a stand-off.

"Captain Valkyrie." Ruby said.

"Captain Rose." Nora said.

"You won't get the treasure before us."

"We'll see about that- wait, there's a treasure?"

"Yeah, I mean what is a pirate adventure without a treasure?"

"True. We'll see about that!"

"Question. Why we don't have our weapons?" Pyrrha said.

"_To make it fair. At least I gave you swords._"

"You won't survive. Because I have something that you don't." Ruby said.

"Common sense?" Nora said.

"A gun.". Ruby pulled out an old pirate pistol and shot at the mast.

"OW!"

"Sorry, Jaune!"

"Oh shit, she's packing heat! But it doesn't matter! You're going down! CREW, ATTACK!" Nora said. Her crew jumped on team RWBY's ship and the fight started.

* * *

_AN EPIC PIRATE BATTLE LATER_

Team JNPR was on their ship now and team RWBY was defeated, tied together and walking the plank.

"How did we lose?! I HAD A GUN!" Ruby said.

"Ruby, we have auras! Guns like that don't work on us, you dolt!" Weiss said.

"Hurry up and jump!" Nora said. The girls looked down, as they saw shark fins circling in the water.

"Are these real sharks?!"

"This is irony at its best, right Blake?" Yang said.

"Shut up. But yes, it is." Blake said.

"_Actually, they're just plastic cones._". That made them sigh in relief. But it got ruined when Nora kicked them at the sea.

"Rude!" Weiss said.

"Now that that's done, can you take us back to Beacon?" Blake said.

"_Sure._". And with that they disappeared.

* * *

Now that the enemies were defeated, they continued their journey.

"There's an island ahead!" Jaune said.

"Does it have an X?" Nora said. Jaune looked through the scope and he sees a giant red X on the sand.

"It does!"

"The treasure is ours!". After a while, they reached the island. "Furl the sails! (Is that the phrase?) Drop the anchor!"

"... Oh, that's my job. Okay, how do I do that?" Pyrrha said.

"_Sorry, I forgot._". A book fell on her hands. _Sailing for dummies._

"Okay, to furl the sails I must-". It was to late, they hit land. The ship shaked, making everyone lose their balance. Because Jaune was at the mast, he fell from it and landed on Pyrrha. And since Nora was at the forecastle deck, she fell on the island.

"Is everyone okay?" Ren said.

"I fell on something soft... and smooth..." Jaune said.

"That's me..." Pyrrha said.

"Wait, where's Nora?" Ren said. They all went at the forecastle deck and saw her trying to pull her head out of the sand. "She's fine."

"Why didn't you drop the anchor?!" Nora said after pulling her head out.

"Sorry, but no one knows how to sail!" Pyrrha said. After that, the team was on the island, at the X, holding shovels. After digging, they found a big treasure chest.

"I wonder what's inside!". They opened the chest. "Wow! Look at all these golden coins! We're rich!"

"_Actually, it's chocolate._"

"Oh. But it was fun, right?"

"It sure was. Can you take us back now?" Jaune said.

"_Sure._". And with that they disappeared.

* * *

They returned at their dorm, wearing now what they usually wear. "I hope we have adventures like that again." Pyrrha said.

"We will, because the next thing on my list is... a Scooby Doo mystery!" Nora said.

"Already? Can we get a break?" Jaune said.

"Nope! Clone Nova?"

"Okay." he said. He snapped his fingers and their outfits changed.

"Yes! I wear glasses!"

"Why do I wear a scarf?" Ren said.

"Oh, purple doesn't look good on me." Pyrrha said.

"Why am I Shaggy?" Jaune said.

"The real question is why aren't you talking like Shaggy?" Nora said.

"*sigh* Like, did we have to dress up like them too, man?"

"That's better. But something's missing."

* * *

_AT TEAM RWBY'S DORM._

Ruby was on her bed listening to Isabelle singing, with Zwei next to her. Then Nora entered and took Zwei. "Can we borrow it? Thanks!"

"Hey! Wait! I-... okay, sure." Ruby said.

* * *

_BACK TO THE PLOT_

"Now we have anything we need!" Nora said.

"But we there's not any mysteries to solve." Ren said. Then they heard someone screaming.

"Was that the school's janitor?" Jaune said.

"What did I say?!" Nora said.

"*sigh* Woah, was that the janitor, dude?"

"How did we hear him?" Ren said.

* * *

_AT THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE_

"Was that the-"

"Yes, it was the janitor." Ozpin interrupted Glynda. "And he's coming here.". The janitor, exited the elevator, totally panicked and out of breath. "What's the problem, mr Reese?"

"(panting) What's... what's the problem? A... a fucking Beowolf is in the basement!" he said.

"Grimm here?! How is that possible?!" Glynda said.

"I don't know, but I know what I'll do. I quit! I can't! All this pressure! First the woman in the machine, now Grimm?! I can't take it! I quit!". He stomped his way to the elevator.

"We need a new janitor." Ozpin said.

"What about the Beowolf in the basement?" Glynda said.

"Yes, I wonder how it got here. It's a mystery."

"Did someone say mystery?!" Nora said, as she and her friends entered his office.

"What are you kids doing here? And why are you wearing such outdated outfits?" Glynda said.

"We're solving mysteries now! And we heard the screams of the janitor!"

"How did you know-"

"Solving mysteries? That sounds fun. Well, since you're here, you can go to the basement and take care of the Grimm." Ozpin interrupted Glynda again. (How rude.)

"Grimm in the school?!" Pyrrha said.

"How did it got here?" Ren said.

"That is the mystery. So, will you take this mission?" Ozpin said.

"Of course we'll take it, sir." Jaune said.

"No! Ren is supposed to say that! You're supposed to be scared!" Nora said.

"But I'm the leader."

"Not now, you're not. Ren, say it."

"What? Oh, right. We'll take care of it." Ren said.

"With cheesy acting!"

"*sigh* Don't worry, sir! We will take care of it! Come on, gang! Let's get that "monster"!". And with that they walked to the elevator.

"Perfect!"

"That was very good." Pyrrha said.

"Thank you." Ren said.

"Can this day get any weirder?" Glynda said.

* * *

_MEANWHILE_

The gang was in the basement. The place was huge and very dark. "It was a very bad idea to come here without weapons." Jaune said.

"Stay in role!" Nora said.

"W-was not bringing our weapons a g-good idea? It's v-very spooky down here, man! I'm so scared! Isn't that right, Zwei pal?". Zwei happily barked. He wasn't scared, he was a brave boy.

"Relax. We don't need them. He's just a guy in a costume."

"How can you be so sure?" Pyrrha said.

"How could the Grimm, especially a simple Beowolf, get here without anyone noticing? It's just someone someone in a costume. Also, Nova probably created a bad guy for our mystery."

"_Hey, leave me out of this._"

"But for that guy to even be here, it means that he's skilled."

"She's right. We must be careful." Ren said.

"Man, I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving! What about you, buddy?" Jaune said. Zwei barked in response. Everyone else turned around and stared at him. "What? I'm trying too be in character.". Then their stares turned into scared faces. "Why are you all scared?... It's behind me isn't it...?". He slowly turned around and saw the monster, growling at them. "G-g-g-g-g-g-grimm! Zoinks!"

"Ginkies!" Nora said.

"Jeepers!" Pyrrha said.

"... What do I say again?" Ren said.

"I think you say I'M A FUCKING CARTOON STAR!" Nora said. The monster roared at them.

"RUN!" Jaune said. And they all started running away from it.

"Wait a minute!" Pyrrha said, making everyone stop. And the monster also stopped. "It's four of us and one of him. I think we can take that guy down."

"But this is the chase scene! With groovy music in the background!" Nora said.

"Okay, let's vote. Who wants to do the chase?" Ren said. Only Nora raised her hand. "Okay, who wants to fight it?" Everyone raised their hand, including Nora. Even Zwei barked in agreement.

"*sigh* Fine. But can you say my line?"

"Gang... let's break his legs!"

"Yeah!". They all charged at the monster. The monster got scared and tried to run away, but the gang got up to him and started beating it up. After a minute of beating, theu captured it. Now principal Ozpin and Glynda were there.

"Good job, team JNPR." Ozpin said. But Zwei barked to remind him that he was there. "And Zwei. You captured the Beowolf. Although I'm not sure why didn't you slay it."

"Because it's not an actual Beowolf. It's someone with a costume." Ren said.

"And the mysterious monster is..." Nora pulls off the mask to reveal...

"NOVA?!" everyone said.

"Hey everyone." he said.

"You were the monster?!" Pyrrha said.

"It actually makes sense. Since we dressed up, immediately after, the janitor screamed. And the moment I said he created the bad guy, he said to leave him out of this. That was a little suspicious. And then... yeah, it doesn't make sense." Nora said.

"But he was with us when that happened. How did he do that?" Jaune said.

"I just did." Nova #2 said.

"Well, Scooby Doo mystery, check." Nora said.

"You do realise that you made our janitor quit his job, right?" Glynda said.

"Eh, he will find a better job." Nova #2 said.

"Hey, do you know what would make this better? A disco celebration! Clone Nova?" Nora said.

"Done and doner!". He snapped his fingers and the place turned into a disco club.

**BGM: Do the hustle**

Team JNPR started dancing. And Zwei was also shaking his little butt. Suddenly Ruby appeared. Hey, can I have Zwei back?" she said.

"Sure. Hey, where's Zwei?" Nora said.

"Oh, would you look at the time. I must leave now. Come on, Glynda." Ozpin said and they both left.

**End of BGM**

* * *

Team JNPR and Nova #2 was back at their dorm room. "Alright, let's what I'll be now. Ooh, a surgeon! I need a volunteer!" Nora said.

"Not me." Ren said.

"Not me." Pyrrha said.

"Not- damnit!" Jaune said.

"Sorry."

"Great! Clone Nova?" Nora said. He snapped his fingers and an operation bed appeared. Jaune was mentally freaking out. He tried to leave, but Nora put him on the bed. Relax, Jaune. It won't be a real surgery. It will be like the board game!". That made him sigh in relief. Nova put the plastic parts on him. "But with a twist. Instead of a sound, whenever I touch you, we'll both get zapped!"

"What?!"

"So I must be veeeery careful!"

"But the shock will only affect me!"

"Oooh. Oh well!"

"Guys, guys please HELP ME!"

"Don't move or else I'll touch you! Aaaaaaand...". Shee tried to get a plastic part from his arm, but she touched him and the got shocked.

"OW!"

"Sorry!"

"_*bzzt* _AH!_ *bzzt* _HELP!_ *bzzt* _SOMEONE, PLEASE! _*bzzt* _OW!_ *bzzt* _HELP ME!_ *bzzt* _AHHHHHHHHH! _*bzzzzzzzzt*_"

"I can't watch!" Pyrrha said while covering her eyes.

* * *

_LATER_

"All done! I removed every plastic part!" Nora said. Both of them were covered in soot like a cartoon bit Jaune was hurting everywhere. "Surgeon, check! Now I'll be a... masseur! Do you want a massage, fearless leader?". Now he had enough. He got up and glared at her menacingly. "He he... fearless leader...?"

_*POW!*_

The others cringed at the punch Jaune gave her. He stomped out of the dorm. "If you need me, I'll be at the nurse's office. At least she's DELICATE!" he said and then left. Pyrrha and Ren looked at Nora, whose face sucked in like a cartoon's.

"(muffled) What did I say?"

"Nora, with how much you were electrocuted, you could break his back with just a rub." Ren said. Her face then popped out.

"Okay then, I'll skip that. I'll be... a stuntwoman!"

* * *

She, Pyrrha Ren and Nova #2 were in an open field, where were two big ramps and a giant fish tank full of electric eels. Nora was on a bike, ready for the jump. "Are you sure about this? You don't even know how to ride a bike." Pyrrha said.

"Pfft, how hard can it be? Besides, these are electric eels. I'll be fine!" Nora said. She started the engine. "Here we g-WOAH!" She started, but because she didn't knoww how to ride a bike, she already had problems steering it.

"Is she going to make it?". She made the jump. But the bike made it. She fell in the tank.

"No, she didn't." Nova #2 said. Nora got out of the water and the tank, but because it was tall, she fell flat on the ground.

"Are you okay, Nora?"

"I'm fine! Just wet and eels are biting me." Nora said while getting rid of the eels from her body. "Yang makes it look easy!"

"I think it's because she's bi."

"That doesn't have to do anything with riding a bike." Pyrrha said.

"Cone on. It's 2019. According to fiction and human stupidity, all female law breakers are gay."

"That's not how things are."

"Trust me. It is like that."

"I think we should go back to our dorm. We must get ready for Nova's Christmas party." Ren said.

"One more. I'll do one more and then we'll return. And the final thing I'll be is... a pilot! Clone Nova?". He snapped his fingers and Nora wasn't wet, was wearing a pilot outfit and a stunt plane appeared. "Sweet!"

"This won't end well...". Nora hopped on the plane.

"Okay, this is a stunt plane so it's easier. Start the engine and that's it. To ascend, you pull the stick, to descend you push it." Nova #2 said.

"Got it!". She started the engine and the plane started moving. Then she successfully made it fly. "GUYS, LOOK AT ME! I'M FLYING!"

"She really did!" Pyrrha said. Then Jaune came, feeling better, to check what's happening.

"Nora's driving a plane!"

"Hey, you're already better!"

"Look at her go." Ren said. Nora was also doing tricks.

"She's a fast learner." Nova #2 said.

"When she wants to."

"Uh, she did notice that in front if her are power cables, right?" Jaune said.

"Shouldn't she put inside the wheels?" Pyrrha said.

"It's a stunt plane, she can't do that." Nova said.

"NORA, GO UP! YOU'LL HIT THE-". Ren tried to warn her but he was to late. The wheels hit the cables and made the plane go down and crash to the ground.

"Why are we sitting here?! Let's go!" Jaune said and everyone ran to the crash site. When they reached it, they saw that Nora was okay, with her lower body sticking out of the ground, kicking her legs.

"Oh thank goodness, she fell on her head!". Everyone else looked at each other being like 'what?'. Ren pulled her out. "Nora, are you okay?!"

"I'm fine... my aura protected me-". She got interrupted when Ren hugged her. That made hee blush a little. The rest then arrived.

"Don't you ever make me worry like that, okay?"

"... Okay."

"Thank your gods or whatever you're okay. And I think it's time for me to leave. See you at the party!" Nova #2 said and then disappeared.

"Come on, now. Let's go get ready for the party." Jaune said.

"Oh, I really want to try that sweater I bought!" Pyrrha said. And with that they walked to the academy.

* * *

**And d-**

* * *

"WAIT! We can't end this chapter like that!" Nora said.

"How can we end it?"

"Hey, is that an airship falling down?" Jaune said. They saw it falling down, but they also noticed something falling with a parachute. When it landed safely, they saw that it was Zwei.

"Hey, look! It's Zwei!" Nora said.

"But what was he doing on that airship?" Ren said.

"CURSE YOU, ZWEI THE CORGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" someone from the airship screamed, before it crashed down and explode. Everyone couldn't figure out what was happening.

"Let's agree that this never happened." Jaune said.

"What happened?" everyone else said.

"Exactly. Now let's go."

"Can we do it while dancing?" Nora said.

"... Okay."

**BGM: Do the hustle**

They, along with Zwei, walked while dancing to the academy to get ready for Nova's party, while the sun was dawning.

* * *

**And done! Like, follow, leave a review and NOT A REQUEST, sent me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!**


	76. It's Christmas again! (Part 1)

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 73: It's Christmas... again! Part 1 - ULTIMATE MAYHEM**

Tonight it was a special night. Tonight it was Christmas. Surely not in Remnant, but the show's main protagonists were getting ready for Nova's get together (it's not a party, shut up). Let's see how team RWBY is preparing themselves for the night.

"Do we have to wear sweaters?" Yang said, wearing a yellow sweater

"C'mon, Yang! It's Christmas! Of course we have to." Ruby said, wearing a red sweater.

"Just because you saw it on YouTube, doesn't mean that it's necessary."

"I like it. It's warm and cozy." Blake said, wearing a black sweater.

"Yeah okay, but it's itching me! And they look so... bland!"

"Hey, do you have any idea how much lien those sweaters cost me? Those are authentic Ricardo's. You're going to wear them." Weiss said, wearing, you guessed it, a white sweater.

"Actually, why these colours?" Blake said.

"I don't know... they just fit us."

"And we got one for Zwei too!" Ruby said, holding a small dog sweater. Zwei saw it and he didn't like it. He disliked it so much, he snatched it and started biting it and knocking it around, in hopes of destroying it. After tearing it apart, he turned his back to it and raised his head.

"NOOOO! I PAID 2 GRANDS FOR THIS!"

"Ruby, I've told you, he doesn't like when we dress him up. Only when he dresses himself up." Yang said.

"I know, but he would look so cute with it! Blake are you okay?" she said. They all looked at Blake who was on her bunk bed, trembling in fear, hiding from the dog.

"Yeah... I'm okay..." Blake said.

"Blake, you don't have to be afraid of Zwei. He likes you!"

"Who said I'm afraid, I'm not afraid, what makes you think that I'm afraid of dogs?"

"Riiiiiiiight..." everyone else said.

"So we packed everything?" Weiss said.

"Yup!" Ruby said.

"Good. Let's go get the others now so we won't be late."

"Wow, even at a simple get together, you still have a schedule." Yang said.

"Hey, I don't want to be late. It's simple manners.". Then they heard someone knocking the door. Ruby opened and saw team JNPR, ready to go.

"Hey guys. Are you ready?" Ruby said.

"We wouldn't be outside your dorm if we weren't." Jaune said.

"What is that sweater, vomit boy?" Yang said, trying to hold her laughter.

"That sweater is hideous." Weiss said.

"Hey, my mom made it!" Jaune said.

"Don't worry, Jaune! One thing about Christmas is awful sweaters!" Nora said.

"You're making it worse." Ren said.

"I think it's cute." Pyrrha said.

"Thanks, Pyrrha." Jaune said.

"Since we're ready, let's contact Nova to pick is up." Yang said.

"Already did. And he just sent the coordinates." Blake said.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Ruby said.

* * *

They were waiting in the same place as last time, only that now it wasn't cold. And Zwei was there. And like last time, the Nova Express arrived. Out of it, Nova came, but he was dressed as Santa Claus. "Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!" he said.

"Nova?" everyone said.

"Who did you expect? Rob Walker? Come on in!". Everyone hopped in. "ALL ABOARD!". The train started moving.

"Wait, no singing this time?" Jaune said.

"It was only for the first time. Instead, the speakers will be playing music for studying."

"At least we'll be vibing." Yang said.

* * *

Everyone was enjoying the ride. Except for Jaune, who was throwing up in a bucket because of his motion sickness and Pyrrha was sitting next to him to comfort him. "Why did he have to give it back? Why?" he said. Blake was reading a book while listening to the lofi music. Everyone else was playing UNO. One of them had one card left. So the rest thought of a plan. They started throwing +2 cards and +4. Now he was screwed. But Zwei had a +4 and won. He barked in excitement for his victory. Most of them groaned, Yang slammed her fists on the table out of frustration, Weiss threw her cards and Nora cried on Ren's shoulder.

"He wins every time!" Weiss said.

"Why do you have to be so awesome?" Ruby said.

"Want to make this more interesting?" Yang said.

"I'm not taking my clothes off." Weiss said.

"I was talking about money, but your idea is better."

_NO GAMBLING. THIS IS A WHOLESOME TRAIN. ALSO WE HAVE ARRIVED AT OUR DESTINATION._

They all got off the train and went in the mansion. "I know we'd been here once, but your place is still amazing." Ren said.

"Thanks, I decorated it myself. Let's see what the others are doing." Nova said.

"Others?" Jaune said.

"Oh that's right, I forgot to tell you. Fiona and the girls are here."

"What? KD/8 is here?" Weiss said.

"Yeah, they're having a race at the hoverboard room."

"Hoverboard...?" Ruby said. They followed Nova to the hoverboard room. They got surprised when they saw the big race track.

"You even have a race track?!" Yang said.

"Why wouldn't I?" Nova said.

"Hey, you're back!" Lillie said, who was at the seats, watching her friends. "So, these are the kids you were talking about?"

"Yup. Uhh...". Everyone looked at Weiss, who was about to pass out.

"Oh my gosh... Oh my gosh- OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH! IT'S LILLIE!" Weiss screamed like a fangirl.

"Woah, I even made a Schnee scream like a fangirl." Lillie said. Weiss then snapped out of it when she heard that.

"Uh, why do I feel like that was an insult?" Yang said.

"Nah, it wasn't. And it didn't had to do with the fact that my uncle died at the mines."

"Oh..." Weiss said.

"No, don't feel bad, it's not your fault. It-"

"I get it, the horrible conditions that my father's workers are working under. I just feel responsible."

"Great, now I feel bad. You know, I still don't understand how a god as old as you hangs out with a bunch of kids. Heck, compared to you we're also kids."

"Wait, you know that he's a god?" Blake said.

"He revealed it to us when we arrived. Then he gave us squeaky tits."

"Yeah, he did it to us too." Yang said.

"It's my thing." Nova said.

"You had squeaky tits?! That's not fair! I want squeaky tits too!" Nora said.

"Okay then, here you go...". Nora groped her chest and it made a squeaky sound.

"Yes!"

"So, what about the others?" Nova said.

"It's the final lap." Lillie said.

**BGM: Sonic Speed Riders - Sonic Riders**

Everyone sat at the seats to watch the race. They saw Fiona, Rita and Alice riding on their hoverboards. Fiona was in 1st place, Alice in 2nd and Rita in 3rd. The best part was the jumps. When they reached the big ramp, they did tricks in midair. Fiona's were the coolest. Then the track split into three. They all picked one route. Fiona picked the middle one, which had floating rails. She used her semblance to jump on them and grind. Alice picked the one on the right, which only had big floating rings. So she flew through them. Rita picked the one on the left, which had obstacles. Breakable obstacles. Using her semblance, she was punching the obstacles, creating thunder that destroyed them easily. After passing the routes, they saw the finish line, straight ahead. Fiona then used her semblance to boost herself to the finish. But all of a sudden, she saw Alice over the finish line. Alice came 1st, Fiona 2nd and Rita 3rd.

**End of BGM**

"Looks like I won." Alice said.

"That wasn't fair." Fiona said.

"What? Since you were using your semblances, I thought of using mine too."

"But yours is broken." Rita said.

"I only stopped time for 4 seconds."

* * *

They left the track and went to meet the others at the seats. "Hey Nova." Fiona said.

"Hey babe. That race was amazing. You were like Sonic." Nova said.

"Thanks... So, those are the kids you were bringing? And why is one of them looking it's going to pass out?'

"She's a fan."

"Big fan!" Weiss said.

"Can't you just hang out with people of your age?" Rita said.

"No. You know, having sex all the time isn't very pleasant as some people think." Nova said.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce your other friends?" Alice said.

"Let's do it while we have dinner."

* * *

After they sat on the table, they food arrived. Everyone introduced themselves and started talking.

"So, how is Beacon? Better than you were expecting?" Fiona said.

"It's amazing! Having to be around so many people from all the kingdoms, being trained by great huntsmen and huntressess, going on missions! The classes are kinda boring, but it's still great!" Ruby said.

"When you get to your third-year it will get even better."

"And the professors?" Rita said.

"Well, Port is saying a lot of his "manly" stories, Oobleck is overdosing in coffee and Peach is half of the times not there." Yang said.

"Who's Peach?"

"She came on our last year. She was teaching the first-years." Alice said.

"Man, every professor on the academy that Ozpin doesn't know personally is bad. Remember Miyazaki?"

"Oh, why did you brought him up?" Fiona said.

"Who's Miyazaki?" Jaune said.

"We were second-years when he came. He was a predator. A month later, Ozpin found out that he was having sex with a couple of students to give them better grade. He's in prison now and the students were offered free abortions."

"Really?! He let that kind of person work as a teacher?!" Pyrrha said.

"Freaking Japanese." Nova said.

"I'm still here." Ren said.

"Sorry."

"Not that the other teachers don't have issues. Once, Port winked at me." Fiona said.

"Me too!" Yang said.

"But then we learned that he does that only to show off his manliness."

"Did miss Goodwitch find a boyfriend yet?" Lillie said.

"No, we didn't see her having an affection to someone." Weiss said.

"Nova slapped her ass once." Nora said.

"Huh? You didn't tell me that." Fiona said.

"It was before I met you. And I was messing around. She had that dominatrix look!" Nova said.

"Well anyway, she had once." Lillie said.

"Really?" Pyrrha said.

"Miyazaki. After the first two weeks, she was acting strange in front of him. And who wouldn't? He was fucking hot. But then the true was revealed and she got depressed for a while."

"Poor miss Goodwitch." Ruby said.

"Hey, which team of your year is the best?" Rita said.

"We are." Yang said.

"You think you're going to win the Vytal Tournament?"

"Of course! The other teams won't stand a chance!"

"You forgot us! You're going down!" Nora said.

"In your dreams! We'll win!" Ruby said.

"You know, we were also the best team of our class. I mean, Fiona is an airbender, I'm a boom box, Alice is The World and Lillie is a super scope."

"You watch JoJo?" Yang said.

"Oh no..." Weiss said.

"Here we go again." Blake said.

"Fiona introduced it to us. Since then, we haven't stopped watching! My favourite is Jotaro."

"Mine is Giorno." Alice said.

"Mine too." Fiona said.

"Mine is Jonathan. Ahhh, he's such a gentleman~!" Lillie said.

"Also, I'm not The World. I can stop time for a minute." Alice said.

"Oh my gosh, that gave me an idea. I'm going to make a list about every ability and search if any student has a semblance like that." Yang said.

"Yang, no one will reveal you their semblance." Blake said.

"Yeah, it's like revealing your stand. It's like revealing your ass. You just don't do that. And yes, that was a reference." Nova said.

"Well, I'm here, so you can check time stop." Alice said.

"Also, the guy I killed when Fiona was kidnapped could move with light speed, like [Hanged Man]." Nova said.

"But he was moving through reflections." Ren said.

"True. Anyway, after dinner, I have a surprise for all of you."

"Is it a nice surprise or stupid surprise?" Weiss said.

"Both."

* * *

After digesting, they followed Nova to his hallway of rooms. They reached a special room. It was special because it was blue. "There it is.". He opened the door, revealing a white and empty space.

"It's an empty room. A large, empty room."

"It's a special room. It can defy the rules of reality. Like me!"

"Okay, and why are we here?" Blake said.

"We're- I mean, you're going to play a video game... in real life!"

"Oh, is it Street Fighter? Call of Duty?" Yang said.

"Mario Kart? Soul Calibur?" Ruby said.

"Humans Fall Flat?" Nora said and everyone stared at her. "What? It would be hilarious!"

"It would actually be, but no. It's...". Everyone was waiting for him to finish the sentence. "Worms!"

"Huh?" everyone said. Nova snapped his fingers and the room turned into the far west map from Worms 4 Mayhem, because it's my favourite map.

"What is this place?" Fiona said. Everyone was scattered throughout the map.

"Guys, where are you? Where am I?!" Jaune said.

"_Team Deathmatch. It will be like Worms. You're divided in three teams, the ones that you're already on. I've given you lots of weapons. But the ammunition is shared with your team. But some weapons have infinite ammo. It works with turns. When someone's turn to move, the others must not move, no matter what. The team who will wipe out the others, wins. Whoever dies, respawns in my living room and watches the rest of the match from my TV. Now, because the game had... worms, the time to move before and after your move is the half and the map larger. Happy Mayhem!_" Nova said from somewhere. Okay, let me tell you their places. Ruby, Lillie, Ren and Pyrrha are at the Barn, with Lillie on the roof, Ruby and Ren around and Pyrrha inside. Weiss, Fiona, Alice and Blake were outside the walls, at the beach, with Blake standing on top of the wall. Yang and Nora were in the main area, around the fire. Rita was on the roofs. And finally Jaune was in the water tank. Poor guy.

"Sounds fun." Ruby said.

"Wait, we can't move? Not even to avoid an attack?" Blake said.

"Yeah! Mayhem!" Nora said.

"_Oh wait, I forgot to tell you that you won't use your semblances. I want to make this fair._"

"Are you kidding me?!" Weiss said.

"Okay, who's turn is it?" Rita said.

_**Team RWBY: Ruby's turn**_

"Oh, it's my turn!" Ruby said. She had a little holographic menu in front of her, somehow, and checked the weapons. She saw the sniper. "What?! Three rounds only?! The shotgun has five?!". She quickly ran, without using her semblance to the wooden platforms at the other side of the map. She jumped on the roof and jumped on the platform. She was on the highest spot. She of course picked the sniper. She aimed at Lillie who was on the roof and shot her.

"OW!" Lillie said. She got -40 damage. Her health was at 160.

"Got'cha, mate!" Ruby said, doing a Sniper impression. A crate fell next to the fire.

_**Team JNPR: Jaune's turn**_

Jaune tried to leave the water tank but he couldn't. "Come on, that's unfair!" he said. He checked the weaponry and saw the homing missle. "Well, I have three rounds. Let's make them count.". He picked the homing missle and picked the panoramic view. He targeted Blake. He aimed upwards and launched the missle. The missle found its target and went towards it.

"Oh no." Blake said. The missle hit her and she fell flat on her back on the beach. She got -40 damage. Her health was at 160.

"Really? Jaune hit you?" Weiss said.

"Shut up.". A tool box fell near Rita.

_**Team FRAL: Fiona's turn**_

"My turn? Okay, let's see." Fiona said. She checked the weaponry and picked the bazooka. She ran to an entrance, the one closer to where Ruby is. She aimed at her and shot. The spot exploded and Ruby was sent flying next to her sister, while screaming. She fell flat on her face.

"Ow..." Ruby said. She got -35 damage. Her health was at 165.

"Nice shot." Alice said.

"Thanks." Fiona said. A crate fell at the beach.

_**Team RWBY: Weiss' turn**_

"Finally." she said. "Hey, what are those?"

"_They are teleporters._"

"Oh, that's convenient.". She stood on the teleporter and it took her next to Fiona. She checked her weaponry and saw a dynamite stick. "Five dynamites?". She picked one and decided to put it next to Fiona.

"Please no." Fiona said. She placed it and ran away.

"I'm sorry, please don't hate me!". The dynamite exploded senting her fly to the ocean. Her health was at 0.

"Wait, why my health is-". She couldn't finish her sentence because she blew up. Fiona appeared at the living room. "What?!"

"Fiona?!" Alice said.

"_Oh yeah, the water can kill you._"

"Now you say it?!"

"Yeah, Ice Queen took down one!" Yang said.

"Yay, Weiss!" Ruby said.

"I like this game. It's fun." Weiss said. A health crate fell at the beach

_**Team JNPR: Nora's turn**_

"Oh boy, my turn!" she said. Yang and Ruby were in front of her. She quickly checked her weaponry. "Look at all these weapons! Sheeps, airstrikes, Holy Hand Grenades, mystery weapon! I take the sheep!"

"What is the sheep?" Yang said. Nora let the sheep ran towards them.

"Aww, it's very cute." Ruby said. When the sheep was between them, it exploded. "OW!"

"What kind of sheep is that?!" Yang said. Nora couldn't stop laughing. Actually evryone who was looking was laughing. Fiona, from the living room was also laughing, while having Zwei on her lap. "Ha ha, very funny. Just wait until it's my turn.". They both got -30 damage. Ruby's health was at 130 and Yang's at 170. A crate fell next to the water tank.

_**Team FRAL: Rita's turn**_

"Alright, let's see what I've got." Rita said. She checked her weaponry and picked the shotgun. She shot Ruby.

"OW! WHY ME?!" Ruby said. She got -25 damage. Her health was at 105.

"Wait, I have another shot?". She shot Nora.

"OW!" Nora said. She got -25 damage. Her health was at 175. A health crate fell at the stable.

_**Team RWBY: Blake's turn**_

"Sorry, Jaune. That's for hitting me. You deserve it." Blake said. She picked the homing missle and targeted Jaune. She launched it and the missle went at him. But it hit the tank. "Damnit!". But he got -10 damage. His health was at 190. A health crate fell next to Yang.

_**Team JNPR: Pyrrha's turn**_

"Oh! My turn!" she said. She picked the bazooka and aimed at the roof, where she could see Lillie's name. She shot at full power and Lillie fell off the roof, while screaming. She got -50 damage. Her health was at 150. A crate fell at the beach.

_**Team FRAL: Alice's turn**_

She saw that the airstrikes were available. She went to panoramic view and targeted the area wher Ruby, Yang and Nora were. They saw a helicopter coming. "Hey... what is that helicopter doing?" Ruby said. The helicopter dropped the bombs and blew them up. They got -20 damage. Ruby's health was at 85, Yang's was at 150 and Nora's was at 155. A tool box fell at the roofs.

_**Team RWBY: Yang's turn**_

"It's about time!" Yang said. She went to take the health crate first. She got 25 health. Her health was at 175. She picked the fire punch, of course. She was about to hit Nora, but she also noticed a mine near. She walked towards her. "Hey Valkyrie! It's payback time!"

"Give me everything you got!" Nora said.

"SHORYUKEN!". She punched Nora and sent her to the mine. She saw the mine flashing.

"Oh no...". The mine exploded. But it was kinda powerful. So it sended her flying to the ocean. Her health was at 0 and she exploded. She spawned back at the living room. "Aw man!"

"Okay...". But she got -5 damage because she was a little close. Her health was at 160. A tool box fell next to Lillie.

_**Team JNPR: Ren's turn**_

He thought of attacking Blake. He ran outside the walłs after taking the health crate, which gave him 25 health points. Now his health was 225. He picked a grenade, set it to 3 seconds and threw it at her. It landed next to her. "This won't end well." she said. The grenade exploded, senting her close to the ocean. She got -50 damage. Her health was at 110. A crate fell near her.

_**Team FRAL: Lillie's turn**_

She went to take the tool box. She could deal double damage for this round. She checked the weaponry and picked the dynamite. She went inside the barn and placed it next to Pyrrha. She struted with style out of the barn, but her time to move was up. And the dynamite exploded, destroying half of the barn and creating a crater. Pyrrha got -100 damage and Lillie -25. Pyrrha's health was at 100 and Lillie's at 125. Everyone who could see it started laughing. A health crate fell next to Blake.

_**Team RWBY: Ruby's turn**_

She took the bazooka and shot Rita. She fell down flat on her face. She got -50 damage. Her health was at 150. A health crate fell next to Ruby. "Oh come on! Now that my turn ended?!" Ruby said.

"Why didn't you take the crate? It would have given us a cool weapon!" Yang said.

_**Team JNPR: Jaune's turn**_

Now that the water tank was partially destroyed, he jumped out. He picked the bazooka and aimed at Ruby because she had the smallest health. It wasn't a direct hit though so she got -35 damage. Her health was at 50. A crate fell near Weiss.

_**Team FRAL: Rita's turn**_

"We have jetpacks?" she said. She used the jetpack and landed next to Weiss.

"What will you do?" Weiss asked with fear. Rita picked the bat.

"Happy swim!". She hit her in the face and sent her to the ocean. Her health reached 0 and exploded. She spawned to the living room, where she saw Fiona and Nora laughing. In fact, anyone who saw it laughed.

"Right in the face!" Nora said.

"Shut up." Weiss said. A health crate fell next to the fire.

_**Team RWBY: Blake's turn**_

"Would you look at that. Crates." she said. She took the two health crates that were near. Now her health was at 185. One crate was near. She took her, giving her a shotgun. She approached Ren and shot him once. She shot him twice and sent him to the ocean.

"Wait, does that count?" Ren said. His health reached 0. He exploded and spawned at the living room.

"Great! Now were together at the living room! But not together-together, but at the same place together." Nora said. A tool box fell on the roof of the barn.

_**Team JNPR: Pyrrha's turn**_

Pyrrha first took the tool box, giving her a girder. She picked the bazooka, after seeing that Lillie was close to a mine, next to a green barrel. She shot Lillie sending her to the mine. It resulted in a big green explosion, sending her next to the fire. She got sick. She got -75 damage. Her health was at 50. "I don't feel so well..." Lillie said, before throwing up. A health crate appeared near the fire.

_**Team FRAL: Alice's turn**_

She took the crate, giving her a Holy Hand Grenade. She then called another airstrike. The helicopter arrived and dropped the bombs on Jaune, sending him fall down on the roofs while screaming. He got -30 damage. His health was at 160. "There goes my cool spot..." Jaune said. A tool box fell at the beach.

_**Team RWBY: Yang's turn**_

"Don't take the health crates!" Ruby said.

"Okay, I won't." Yang said. She took the crate, giving her a homing missle. She picked bazooka and shot Lillie, whose health was at 30. But now it reached 0. "Yeah!"

"What do I do now...?" Lillie said. She then blew up and spawned at the living room, completely healthy. "

"Go Yang!" Ruby said. Now team RWBY was winning. A crate fell near the water tank.

_**Team JNPR: Jaune's turn**_

He took the tool boxes, giving him a jetpack and double damage. "I wonder how strong the Holy Hand Grenade is.". He threw it between Ruby and Yang.

_HALLELUJAH!_

"Oh no." Yang said. It blew them up. It sent Yang flying to the stable and Ruby to the ocean. Ruby exploded and spawned at the living room.

"NOOOO! I DIDN'T DO ANY KILL YET!" Ruby cried. Yang got -110 damage. Her health was at 50.

"Did Vomit Boy do that?" Yang said.

"Nice one, Jaune!" Pyrrha said.

"Thanks!" he said. A crate fell near the barn.

_**Team FRAL: Rita's turn**_

"What is Bovine Blitz?" Rita said.

"I think it's like an airstrike." Alice said.

"Oh, this will be hilarious." . She called a Bovine Blitz. The helicopter arrived. Rita was on panoramic view. She picked Pyrrha, Yang and Jaune. They saw the cows falling. When they landed, the exploded. That sent Jaune on the wooden walls, which should've impaled him. Rita and everyone at the living room was laughing. They all got -75 damage. Pyrrha's health was at 25, Jaune's at 85 and Yang exploded because hers was at 0.

"Damnit!" Yang said.

"Don't worry. Blake's still in the game." Weiss said.

"Yeah, we can still win!" Ruby said.

"Nuh uh! We will win!" Nora said.

"Excuse me, but we all know which team will win, and it will be us." Fiona said, doin a fist bump with Lillie.

"Keep dreaming, popstar!". A crate fell at the saloon.

_**Team RWBY: Blake's turn**_

Blake first left the beach so she wouldn't end up at the ocean. She hid behind the saloon and took the crate, giving her a Banana Bomb and checked its description. "It's all or nothing." she said. She picked the Banana Bomb and set it to 3 seconds. She threw it towards the roofs. The Banana got split into smaller bananas and fell on Rita and Alice. They sent them flying to the ocean. They blew up and spawned at the living room. Team RWY cheered.

"One team is out!" Yang said. A tool box fell at the beach.

_**Team JNPR: Pyrrha's turn**_

Pyrrha picked the last Holy Hand Grenade the team had and threw it. It bounced off the wall and stopped next to Blake.

_HALLELUJAH!_

"Fuck." Blake said before the bomb exploded. She was sent flying near the teleporter near the buildings, falling headfirst. When she pulled her head out of the ground she saw that her health was at 110. A health crate fell at the beach.

_**Team RWBY: Blake's turn**_

Blake picked the shotgun and shot Pyrrha. Her health reached 0. She blew up and she spawned at the living room. "Sorry guys." Pyrrha said.

"It's okay. Jaune's is still in." Ren said.

"The battle is getting intense." Alice said.

"Come on, Blake! You can do it!" Ruby said.

"Break her legs, fearless leader!" Nora said. Blake tried to shoot Jaune, but he was pretty far away and she missed. A crate fell at the beach.

_**Team JNPR: Jaune's turn**_

'Okay. I must first regain health and then hide. But I must hurry.' Jaune thought. He used the jetpack and flew as fast as he could to get health crates. He went to the barn and the beach and collected the crates. His health now was at 135. He also got an airstrike and a shotgun and a tool that I won't reveal yet. Time was running out though. 'Oh no. I don't have time!'. He then looked at the tool box in front of him. 'Wait, I have an idea!'. He decided to stick behind the walls.

"What is he doing?" Weiss said.

"I think he has a plan." Alice said. Time was up.

'I hope things go how I thought.' Jaune thought.

_**Team RWBY: Blake's turn**_

Blake before she ran to the beach, she suspected that he was planning something. She took a health crate that was near her and then went to the beach. Her health was now at 160.

"Good thinking." Fiona said.

"Yeah, we will win!" Ruby said. Jaune's teammates were worrying. Blake saw him behind the wall.

"Seriously? You thought that I wouldn't go around the wall?" Blake said. She picked the Holy Hand Grenade and threw it.

'Crap!'

_HALLELUJAH!_

It blew up. But thankfully Jaune was touching the wall, so he wasn't sent flying to the ocean. But he got -75 damage. His health was at 60. "I got one more of these. I guess I won.". It seems like she would win. His teammates couldn't see. But then she heard snickers. Jaune was snickering. "Why are you laughing?"

"You fell into my trap." Jaune said.

"Huh?"

"Huh?" everyone else said.

_**Team JNPR: Jaune's turn**_

**BGM: Il vento d'oro - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure**

"It went as I planned. Now I can finish the game. You should have moved away when you had the chance." Jaune said. Blake then noticed that she was very close to the water.

"Shit! I didn't notice!". He then went to take the tool box, giving him double damage. "You knew what was in that tool box?!"

"I got another tool box, letting me see, what was in the box. And now, it's my turn.". He went next to her and picked the dynamite.

"Can we talk about this?"

"No."

"Blame me for trying.". He placed the dynamite next to her and then ran away.

"Check mate.". The dynamite exploded, sending her flying to the ocean. Her health reached 0, she blew up and spawned at the living room. Jaune won.

**End of BGM**

"Jaune won!" Pyrrha said.

"FEARLESS LEADER WON!" Nora said. Team NPR celebrated. Meanwhile team RWBY was kinda surprised.

"How couldn't you notice where you were?!" Weiss said.

"I wasn't focusing on where I was." Blake said.

"It's okay. It was actually very fun." Yang said.

"Yeah. We were able to beat our friends in the most ridiculous ways." Ruby said. Jaune then spawned at the living room.

"Hey guys." he said. Then Nova also appeared.

"Woo! Now wasn't that fun?" Nova said.

"It was amazing! I don't think I've ever had that much fun!" Alice said.

"Glad to hear that. Now let's go to the movie room, for of course a Christmas movie."

"What will it be this time?" Yang said.

"Oh! Is it Die Hard 2?" Ruby said.

"No. You see, when team JNPR was doing that Scooby Doo thing, I got an idea. What if took the characters out of a movie and put you in it?" Nova said.

"What?!" everyone said.

"Why not? Who wants to see him/herself in a cartoon?"

_(JoJo references: 32)_

* * *

**And done! NOW I WILL ALWAYS WRITE THIS IN CAPITALS SO YOU'LL NOTICE IT. THAT'S RIGHT. A CHARACTER REPLACEMENT CHAPTER! TRY TO GUESS WHICH CHRISTMAS MOVIE I'LL DO. THE ONES THAT I'VE TOLD WHAT MOVIE WILL BE, DON'T ANSWER. BUT YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THEN BECAUSE UNIVERSITY. LIKE, FOLLOW, LEAVE A REVIEW AND NOT A REQUEST, SENT ME A PM IF YOU WANT AND READ THE NOVA FORCE. SEE YOU SOON!**


	77. It's Christmas again! (Part 2)

**HEY GUYS, I'M WRITING IN CAPITALS AGAIN SO YOU'LL NOTICE IT. I ALWAYS ASK YOU A QUESTION BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE YOUR ANSWERS AND DESTROY YOUR EXPECTATIONS, BUT NO ONE IS AMSWERING. AND WHEN YOU'RE WRITING SOMETHING, IT'S A REQUEST OF SOMETHING THAT ONLY AMERICANS WATCH. STOP IT. AND FOR THE GUESTS, STOP DOING THAT. BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY REPLYING. ANYWAY, ON WITH THE SHIT. ALSO THE DIALOGUE WILL BE BE SLIGHTLY CHANGED BECAUSE OF CHARACTERS AND SPEECH IMPENTIMENT.**

* * *

**I do not own anything except my OCs. Actually, why would I say that? It's a fucking fanfiction, of course nothing belongs to me, except for the retarded plot. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 74:**** It's Christmas... again! Part 2 - Movie night**

Everyone was at the movie room to watch Nova's insane project. "So, again to understand, you'll put us in a cartoon movie?" Weiss said.

"Exactly." Nova said.

"And by put you mean replace." Jaune said.

"Uh huh."

"Why?" Yang said.

"Why not?"

"Are the roles at least good?" Rita said.

"They're okay, but don't expect a lot of screen time. And don't be disappointed if you some of you don't have a lot of screen time.."

"Are we going to watch it or not?" Yang said.

"Okay, I'm starting the movie."

**(The movie starts with the sun rising at the suburbs of a city. It was Christmas Eve. All the houses were decorated for the holiday. We see a little of the suburbs, until the camera stops at the front of Nova's house, as the mailbox confirms.)**

"So you're in this movie too?" Fiona said.

"Hey, it was my idea. It would make sense that I would be Bugs Bunny."

"Wait, it's a Looney Tunes movie?" Ruby said.

"Oh boy, things are about to get very looney!" Nora said.

"Is there a chance that we'll see someone shitting on your face?" Alice said and everyone laughed.

"You also watched the Nerd?" Yang said.

"He showed it to us."

"It must feel weird seeing videos that were similar to yours." Jaune said.

"It was pure nostalgia."

**(Suddenly, Nova kicks the door open, holding a reef blower to remove the snow from his front yard.)**

**Nova:**_** Deck the halls with boughs of holly**_

_**Fa la la la la, la la la la **_

_**'Tis the season to be jolly**_

_**Fa la la la la, la la la la! **_**(He turns to the camera) Merry Christmas, everybody! I know what you're all thinking. Why would a god like me live in the suburbs in a cartoon movie? Well, I don't know, it's a crazy idea, but it's nice seeing humans celebrating Christmas. Spreading the spirit of giving with everybody you see.**

"You're a couple of seconds in this and you already broke the 4th wall." Rita said.

"It really fits your character." Fiona said.

**(He notices the Hummer behind him, ready to run him over.) **

**Nova: EEP! (He quickly jumps out of the way. The irresponsible driver brakes his mailbox and buries Nova's front yard, along with him.)**

"Hey, that wasn't very nice." Ruby said.

**Nova: (He shakes off the snow.) HEY! Watch where you're driving that thing, you big palooka! (He sees as the Hummer drives away.)**

**(The scene changes to the "Lucky Snowflake" superstore. And guess who's face is on the store with bright lights.)**

"That's me!" Weiss said.

"You own a superstore, too?" Ruby said.

"No! And if I did, I wouldn't call it that."

"Yeah, I had to change your last name." Nova said.

"Why?"

"You'll see."

**(The Hummer parks in front of the entrance. One of the store's employees, Jaune, comes out to welcome the owner, but while running he slips. Luckily he stops by hanging on the door of the car.)**

"I'm introduced already?" Jaune said.

"And you're Weiss' employee." Pyrrha said.

"And it seems that you're the clumsy but lovable one." Lillie said.

"Are we all working for Weiss in this movie?" Yang said.

**Jaune: (He opens the door.) G-g-g-g-g-g-good morning, mrs Snowflake.**

"And I stutter too. I'm Porky, aren't I?" Jaune said.

**(A platform comes out and it quickly lowers itself, trapping Jaune's upper body. Then Weiss exits the car on her flying scooter, passing him, leaving him to struggle.)**

"Wow, that was a mean introduction." Fiona said.

"And you're obviously treating your employees terribly." Blake said.

"I wouldn't do that." Weiss said.

"Well, someone has to be the bad one." Nova said.

"I don't like this."

**Weiss: (She looks at her golden watch.) I told that idiot to be here.**

"You mean Jaune? He's right behind you trapped!" Ruby said.

**(A little homeless panguin faunus boy, living outside the superstore, warming his tiny hands at the fire, walks towards her. He gets her attention and begs her for money to eat.)**

"Aww..." the girls said.

**Weiss: What do I look like? An ATM? Sheesh, why is it around the holidays, every homeless person thinks they can just ask money from a hard-working businesswoman instead of earning it? (The kid then starts dropping tears which turn into ice cubes.)**

The girls gasped.

"I can't believe you just said something so heartless!" Lillie said.

"Me neither! I would never say that!" Weiss said.

**(Then Nova appears.)**

**Nova: Hey, miss! That's no way to treat those less fortunate! Where's you sense of holiday spirit?**

**Weiss: Who asked you to butt in, mister? (She then left those two. Nova, like the good Samaritan he is, gives money to the boy. Weiss sees a bunch of kids were singing carols in front of the store.)**

**Priscilla (she's not a pig in this): Happy holidays, mrs Snowflake! We're collecting donations for needy families.**

**Weiss: Well that's an interesting spin on trespassing, pandering and illegal solicitation. Scram, before I sent you to elves' prison!**

"Why are you so mean?!" Ruby said.

"Is this a version of A Christmas Carol?" Blake said.

"That makes sense." Ren said.

**(The kids ran away, forgetting the bucket with money behind, trapped in the sliding doors. Weiss gets a mischievous smile on her face.)**

"You'll steal their donations?!" Fiona said.

**(Weiss grabs the bucket and shakes it to check if it's empty. It had some money in it.)**

**Weiss: Now that's the kind of holiday jingle I like to hear. (Laughs) Talk about easy money. **_**'**_

_**Tis the season to get wealthy**_

_**Mwu la la la la, la green buck stash**_

_**Money in a shiny bucket**_

_**I will add it to, my growing **_**STOCKS! (She gets trapped between the sliding doors.)**

They laughed a little, except for Weiss of course.

"And that's where my humiliation starts, huh?" Weiss said.

"You deserved that." Blake said.

"I know."

**(The bucket flies out, ricocheting on a board, the cash register, emptying it, showing the little sign "No Sale", and it stops at a hanger, which has her face. She tries to hold the doors open. But she instead gets launched in, bouncing and hitting her head on the hanger. The bucket falls down, on her head, knocking her out, and it bounces out of the store. Little Priscilla comes back and sees the bucket full of money.)**

**Priscilla: *gasp* Thank you for watching my bucket, mrs Snowflake! (She skips happily away.)**

"That's what you get." Ruby said.

**Weiss: (Snaps out of the dizzyness) SECURITY! SECURITY! I'VE BEEN ROBBED! SECURITY, GET OVER HERE AND STEP ON IT! (The security guard, Gossamer, who was sitting on the store Santa's lap, hears her yelling and runs to her.)**

"You have a monster as the security?! Cool!" Nora said.

"Why a monster?" Blake said.

"I didn't want to change him. Like Marvin the Martian." Nova said.

**(While running, Gossamer slipped on wet floor. While sliding, he accidentally runs over Weiss and they crash somewhere.)**

They laughed a little. But not Weiss.

"Oh, stop being like that and enjoy the movie! We all are." Yang said.

"But I'm the one getting hurt! I don't like it." Weiss said.

"Don't worry. I'll probably do stuff like that again. Everyone will suffer." Nova said.

"Really?" Ruby said.

"Sure. I have lots of ideas."

**(Gossamer gets up. He is a little afraid of what happened to Weiss. He gets his shoe unstuck off the floor, because she was flattened and stuck on the sole.)**

**Gossamer: Eewww!**

They all laughed.

**Weiss: Note to self: Choose words carefully when berating the security guard. (He gets a candy cane and removes her from his shoe. She looks at him. He innocently waves at her and then quickly leaves. She fixes her tie and whistles her flying scooter.)**

"I like how you have a flying scooter." Yang said.

"I want one too!" Nora said.

**Weiss: (She pulls out a megaphone and speaks to his employees) **_**Attention, everybody! It's the busiest day of the year! **_

**(We see Rita in front of the vending machine. She licks her lips, as she takes out a dollar to buy a snack.)**

"Great, I work there too." Rita said.

**(She was about to insert the money, but Weiss snatched it from her.) **

**Weiss: No eating on the job, Sanchez! (Rita looks at her, with her mouth open wide and her tongue hanging. Her tongue then gets caught by the machine. She tries to pull it out but it sucks her inside.)**

"See? More people are suffering. Did you had a problem with that?" Nova said.

"A little, but it was funny."

"See? No problem! So just enjoy the movie."

"Okay..." Weiss said.

**(Now we see Nora on a step ladder, sleeping. Weiss approaches her.)**

"Yes! I'm in it!" Nora said.

**Weiss: **_**Wake up and smell the coffee, Valkyrie! **_**(Nora wakes up and falls over.) What do you think this is? A holiday?**

"For shop workers, it's not." Weiss said.

**(We see Marvin the Martian (I won't change him) changing the price of a doll with an alien tool.)**

"Triple price?!" Ruby said.

"Well, it's the holidays and they're raising the prices because they know the parents will buy them." Nova said.

"It's marketing." Weiss said.

"Also why is an alien working at a superstore?" Alice said.

**(He then sees a milky way hanged baby toy ( I don't know how it's called in english), especially Mars.)**

**Marvin: *sigh* Home, sweet home... How I miss you at the holidays... (Weiss appears)**

**Weiss: Stop daydreaming, space boy! (He accidentally pulls the trigger, shooting a ray that ricochets on teddy bears, destroying them, on a 50% board, changing to 500% and hits Weiss.) (dizzy) And triple the price on everything. Parents are suckers ths time of year... (She falls down.)**

"It's pure evil!" Nora said.

**(We see a woman, Fiona, at the cosmetic section, trying a perfume. And another employee, a skunk faunus named Pepe, who was passing by, smells the perfume. He sees Fiona and immediately falls in love. He quickly takes her in his hug.)**

**Pepe: You have no need for le perfume, my Christmas kitty. (She accidentally smells the odor Pepe releases.)**

Everyone laughed.

"That's amazing!" Rita said while laughing.

**Pepe: You smell like the sweetest garden in the bloom of the spring. (She starts kissing her.)**

They laugh even more.

"This is so embarrassing." Fiona said while laughing.

**Weiss: Hey casanova, that's not what I meant when I said "woo the customers". Watch the master. (She pulls Fiona from him.) Take my advice, tuna breath. Buy a quarter of the expensive stuff and gargle with it. (Fiona punches her in the face, sending her to the ladies wear section and going inside a fancy red dress.)**

They couldn't stop laughing. Now Weiss too.

"I can't breathe!" Yang said while laughing.

"I know I should be offended... but it's hilarious!" Fioan said while laughing.

**Pepe: Hi, my sweet. You are new, no?**

**(The scene changes to another employee, Pyrrha, who is assembling toys. She sees Weiss passing by.)**

"Me too?" Pyrrha said.

**Pyrrha: Merry Christmas mrs Snowflake! Or as they say in my country, καλά Χριστούγεννα! Ηλίθια. (Weiss comes back.)**

"What did she call her?" Blake said.

"She called her an idiot." Nova said. Some of them laughed a little.

**Weiss: What did you call me?**

**Pyrrha: Ηλίθια... it means uh... genius in Greek! (She nods so she won't get in trouble.)**

**Weiss: Well, in that case, I guess I am the biggest ilithia in the world. (She then leaves.)**

They all laughed.

"You said it." Yang said.

"Shut up." Weiss said.

"The fact that Pyrrha Nikos herself, works at a superstore is beyond me." Fiona said.

"Like her career went downhill." Rita said.

"Yeah, I would never expect that to happen to me." Pyrrha said?

**Weiss: Finally, a little respect. Now where has that assistant manager gone this time? (Pulls out the megaphone.) **_**Mr assistant manager~! Move it, lazy bones! **_**(Jaune arrives as soon as possible.)**

**Jaune: As-s-sistant manager, Jaune Arc, reporting for d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- for service, miIIiIAAAAAAHHHHHHH!(He slips on a piece of paper and falls from the ledge to the lower levels.)**

They couldn't help it but laugh.

**Weiss: Nice footwork, noodle boy. (He lands on a skateboard and starts skating uncontrollably. He goes down the escalator, and through the pet section, crashing through stuff. He was now holding and balancing lot of stuff, as he hits the lingerie hanger. Meanwhile, Weiss is going up the escalator.) **_**Mr assistant manager~! Your boss wants to see your butt this instant! **_**(She sees ahead Jaune coming towards her, or more like his butt, wearing red panties, saying "Kiss me... It's Christmas!" and screams in surprise.)**

They don't stop laughing.

"Is that what you wanted?" Yang said.

"Shut up!"

"This is very embarrassing, but I can't stop laughing." Jaune said while laughing.

**Weiss: Be careful what you ask for. (He crashes on her and the both roll towards the ledge, falling in the lower levels. Jaune is saved by a commercial, but Weiss is still falling. She falls on the Christmas tree star, poking her butt. She stayed there frozen for a couple of seconds and then she jumped up in pain, screaming. She rips the commercial Jaune was on and he falls inside a big Christmas sock. Weiss falls again on the tree, getting hit by all its branches. In the end she falls inside a big gift and the tree falls down. She, more like her head, springs out like a Jack-in-the-box.)**

They all laughed except for Weiss.

"I don't think I've ever such a sequence in a cartoon before!" Ruby said.

**(Nova was next to her, with a cart full of stuff.)**

**Nova: Nyeeeh, what's up, doc? (Takes a bite of his candy cane.) Care for a candy cane?**

"I can't believe you said it." Fiona said.

**Weiss: (Takes the candy cane from him.) Stop snacking on store merchandise, mister! Or I'll see to your arrest for stealing! (Because she was spitting while talking, he pulled her tie to wipe his face, choking her a little.)**

"Damn, no fucks given." Yang said.

**Nova: You might wanna stay away from the asteroids until you work through that spitting problem of yours.**

**Jaune: A-a-a-and maybe you could see a speach th-th-th-th-th-th-th-the-th- specialist.**

"Look who's talking." Weiss said.

**Weiss: You are now demoted to assistant assistant manager! (Jaune sighs in misery.)**

"That's not fair!" Ruby said.

**Weiss: And you are messing with the wrong woman, mister!**

**Nova: Well, I guess I could just take my last minute shopping list elsewhere. (He pulls out his list, it unravels itself, revealing how big it is. Weiss' eyes turn to dollar signs.)**

"That's a long list." Rita said.

**Nova: You know, I have a big family, lots of brothers and sisters and they had lots of children like me, so I take care of their shopping too.**

**Weiss: I never liked families, but I do love money. So shop 'til you drop and don't forget to pay for the candy canes.**

**Nova: Oh, I intend too, missy. But before I make my final purchases, I'm gonna need a second opinion on a few items.**

**Weiss: I don't have the time to-**

**Nova: What about these earmuffs for aunt Lizzie? (Puts them on Weiss.) And these air goggles for my cousin Tyler? (Puts them on her.) Ooh, how about this magic fairy costume for my niece Berry? (Puts it on her.) And how about this pacifier for baby Joe? (Shoves it in her mouth.) And this bowling ball for my uncle Peter? (Gives it to her, but she can't lift it, so she falls and the ball falls on her head.)**

They laughed a little.

**Weiss: Okay... fun's over. (She gets up, removes the bowling ball and her head pops up again.) You... You... Customer or no customer, get out of my sight! OUT! OUT! OUT!**

**Nova: Tsk tsk tsk. For shame. For shame. Has your holiday spirit flown south for the winter?**

**Weiss: In case you haven't noticed, first, I'm not a duck and second... (She removes the stuff that he put on her by tearing them apart.) I HATE THE HOLIDAYS!**

"No shit." Yang said.

"I liked that outburst." Lillie said while giggling.

**Nova: You don't say. Well, bah humbug.**

**Weiss: Bah humbug? I like that. Bah humbug. (She snaps her fingers and her scooter arrives.)**

"What is bah humbug?" Fiona said.

"It's what Scrooge says in A Christmas Carol." Blake said.

"Oh. Who's-"

"Long story." Nova said.

**Nova: If I were you, I'd be careful, miss. Baaaaad things happen to people who mess with Christmas.**

**Weiss: (She gets on her scooter.) Oh yeah? Like what?**

**Nova: Weeell, if they're really bad, and I think you fit the bill, they get visited by (dramatic light) the ghosts of Christmas!**

**Weiss: (Gets scared a little but she shakes it off.) I'm not afraid of ghosts. In fact, I'm not afraid of anything. Except perhaps low quarterly profit projections and personal intimacy. So again I say bah humbug. (She accidentally presses the reverse button and she crashes at the garden center and lights. She was dangling from the Christmas lights, getting electrocuted a couple of times. After a pause, she gets electrocuted again, the lights snap and she falls down headfist, getting her head stuck in the floor.)**

They all winced at the landing.

"I felt that." Yang said.

**Jaune: Uh, m-m-m-m-miss? Now that you're finished with your daily ins-s-s-s-sp-p-p-p-p-p- abuse, I-I was wondering if I could ask a favour? (She pulls her head out.)**

**Weiss: (dizzy) Do I know you?**

**Jaune: Y-y-y-yes, miss. I'm your assistant assistant m-m-m-m-manager.**

**Weiss: (dizzy) Do I like you?**

**Jaune: Y-y-y-you don't like anyone, miss. (She shakes off her dizzyness and inspects him carefully.)**

**Weiss: I remember you now. And you're right, I don't like you! (She gets up, dusts off her suit and goes to the elevator.)**

**Jaune: Th-th-that said, I worked v-v-v-v-v-very hard for you, all along. A-a-a-and well, m-m-my daughter, Priscilla r-r-r-r-really wants th-th-th-that Pretty Sparkly Princess doll for Christmas. It's all she talks about, miss. Sh-sh-she's my only daughter and I love her so much. (They exit the elevator and go to her office.) I-I-I really would like to buy it for her, b-b-but since you tripled the price, I-I c-c-c-can't afford it.**

"Aww, he just wants to buy her daughter a doll... Jaune has a daughter?" Ruby said.

"I have a family?" Jaune said.

"I wonder who's the mother." Yang said.

**Weiss: Can't afford it, huh? **

**Jaune: Well, m-m-m-my check isn't en-en-en-en-enough, miss. It's b-b-b-barely enough for the bills a-a-and f-f-f-for food.**

**Weiss: Then why don't you ask for a raise from your boss then?**

**Jaune: Uh, because you are my boss?**

**Weiss: And you know that I never give raises. (She opens the door and enters her office.)**

"That's a dick move."

**Jaune: Oh, p-p-p-please, miss. It's the h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h- it's Chris-stm-m-m-m- (She puts her hand on his mouth to make him stop talking.)**

**Weiss: Hold that thought. (She shuts the door.)**

**Jaune: *sigh* But it's Christmas. (He walks away in defeat. Meanwhile Weiss walks happily to her desk, while whistling. She sits down and reads a newspaper. She sees that her business is going great.)**

**Weiss: Hmm... profits are good, but we could do better! What do you think, hovering woman? (Her jaw drops on the desk when she realises that the woman is a ghost.)**

"Winter?!" Weiss said.

"Who?" Ruby said.

"My sister! A-a-and she's a ghost?! How?!"

"Well, I decided to put someone you personally knew in Sylvester's role. I remembered you had a sister and I learned how she looks like." Nova said.

"I guess that makes sense, but again that was a big surprise."

**Weiss: Uh- Uh, I-I- a- a- uh- YIKES! (She hides under her desk.) Do my eyes deceive me, or am I being visited by-**

**Winter: Winter Schnee! Alias, Winter the investor.**

"Dumb title." Nora said.

**Weiss: The CEO of the super successful Schnee superstores! You, you were my idol! (Shows a magazine with Winter on the cover.) My inspiration! But hey, you're...**

**Winter: Deceased? A spirit? A GHOST? Why yes, I am. I have been soul since last Christmas Eve, when a indignant employee squashed me with a forklift. And other stuff I don't want to talk about...**

**Weiss: Yeah, it was terrible...**

"So she got ran over by a forklift and then what?" Jaune said.

"I guess... he raped her?" Nova said.

"Wait, what?!" Weiss said.

"What kind of script change is that?!" Rita said.

**Winter: Indeed, it was, (She spins Weiss's chair.) but it was a fitting end for me, Snowflake. You see, I was like you. Small-minded, selfish and seriously greedy. And if don't change your ways, you'll end up just like yours truly.**

"A raped pancake?" Yang said.

"Yang!" Weiss said.

"What? I'm just saying."

"Don't ruin pancakes for me!" Nora said.

**Weiss: Not a chance! I've never been stupid enough to buy my employees a forklift!**

"I think you're missing the point." Blake said.

**Winter: You're missing the point! You need to start putting other people's needs in front of the almighty dollar! (She sees that Weiss tries sneak away. She appears in front of her, coming out of the floor. Weiss screams and runs away but she hits her statue, which brakes.)**

"Am I such a narcissist?" Weiss said.

**Winter: Yes, it's going to hurt at first, but it's your only hope. Before the night is through, you'll be visited by three more ghosts. Each more terrifying than the last! Each on a quest for your very soul! Change, Weiss. Before it's too late.**

**Weiss: Wait a minute. This is some kind of trick! Who put you up to this? Was it that guy? Or did my subordinates hired you to scare me into treating them with some dignity?**

**Winter: You're doomed. (She flies through Weiss and up.) Doooooomed! (She then poofs into nothing. Weiss is scared now. She turns to her office and doesn't see Nova coming.)**

**Nova: What's up, doc? (Weiss jumps in fear, hitting the ceiling. She was hanging in the ceiling lamp.)**

They laughed a little.

"Wait, why are you in her office?" Jaune said.

**Nova: You look like you've seen a ghost.**

**Weiss: What are you doing here?**

**Nova: I asked the little guy with the helmet downstairs if he knew of any cheapskates and he sent me up here.**

They all laughed.

"That was a sick burn." Yang said.

**Weiss: Out, out, OUT! (He shrugs and walks out of her office. The ceiling starts breaking apart, the wires snap and she falls down on her desk. She weakly gets up, she snaps out of her dizzyness and dusts off her suit.) I'm okay. I'm alright. (She takes a deep breath and relaxes. Then Alice, the courier, descends quietly without being noticed, putting the gift on her desk.)**

"I'm going to scare her?" Alice said.

**Alice: Mail! (Weiss jumps in fear again, hitting the ceiling, getting her head stuck in it.)**

They all laughed again.

**Weiss: (muffled) Do you always have to be that silent? It gets on my nerves. (She manages to pull her head out, along with a big chunk of the ceiling still stuck around her neck. She falls on her office, breaking it.)**

**Alice: Thank you for using our services. Bye! (She then leaves by flying.)**

"Okay, which one of our appearences was the best so far?" Rita said.

"I think Fiona's was the best."

"Yeah, it was the best."

**(The desk and chair breaks and she falls on the floor. The gift then slides of the desk and falls on her head.)**

**Weiss: Ouch. Well, looky here! It's a Christmas present! Just for me.**

"Wait, if she doesn't like anyone, who sent it to her?" Ren said.

**Weiss: (Sees the sender.) And it's from my favourite person. Me!**

"Of course it is." Blake said.

"That's so sad." Fiona said.

**Weiss: (She jumps like a ballerina, sits down and opens her gift.) Oooh! My very own Taskmaster 7000 Smart Office remote! (She pulls out a pocket mirror.) Thank you, me. (She uses her remote on her destroyed desk. The floor beneath it crushes the desk and replaces it with a new one. A robotic hand takes the placket with her name puts it on the desk and leaves before patting it.)**

"Not gonna lie, that's a good remote." Weiss sais.

**(The remote starts shaking, telling her that she has a visitor. Someone indeed knocks on the door. She uses the remote to open the door, revealing Nora, who feels very sleepy. So sleepy that she falls asleep on the floor.)**

"Why am I so sleepy?" Nora said.

"Working overtime, probably." Ren said.

**(Weiss presses a button and a robotic hand comes and drop Nora in front of her.)**

**Weiss: What is it, Valkyrie? (Nora is sleeping. Weiss presses a button, and a robotic hand starts slapping Nora, waking her up.) **

**Nora: OUCH! (She sees her boss.)**

**Weiss: Well, what is it, Valkyrie? (Nora gets up, giggling nervously.)**

**Nora: Sorry to bother you, miss, but I worked 37 straight triple shifts, mrs Snowflake.**

"Holy shit!" Fiona said.

"No wonder I look like that!" Nora said.

**(Weiss doesn't pay attention because she's playing with Newton's cradle.)**

**Nora: Eh hem. (Weiss snaps out of it and sits on her desk.)**

**Weiss: Yeah, yeah, get on with it.**

**Nora: I'm delirious, miss. I can't keep my eyes open! (She opens her eyes wide.)**

**Weiss: Eeech! Drink espresso, pinch yourself! Just get back to work! (She presses a button and a robotic hand takes Nora out of the office.)**

**Nora: Oooh, who does she think she- (She falls asleep, passing Marvin.)**

They laughed a little.

**(Marvin walks to her desk, but robotic hands sit him on a chair and take him in front of her, surprising her, while she counts money.)**

**Marvin: I am so very homesick, mrs Snowflake.**

**Weiss: Well, get back to work!**

**Marvin: But it's Christmas Eve and I miss my family! I long to hang garment on rays of my annihilation cannon.**

"Aliens celebrate Christmas?" Ruby said.

"No." Nova said.

**Weiss: Okay, I think I can arrange it.**

"She will?" Ruby said.

"She'll probably kick him out." Yang said.

**Marvin: Oh goody, goody! Ahahaha!**

**Weiss: Bon voyage, space boy. (She presses a button and a rocket pops out of his chair.)**

**Marvin: Oh, you make me so very angry! (Launches out of her office while screaming, passing Jaune. He knocks the already open door.)**

**Jaune: I-I-I n-n-need to speak to you, mrs Snowflake. (Walks towards her.) As assistant assistant m-m-m-manager, I feel it's my (She notices him and presses a button, but nothing happens) resp-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p- duty to speak on behalf of all ironically named L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-Lucky Snowflake employees. (She keeps pressing, even hitting it with her fist, but it still doesn't work.)**

"You just got it and it doesn't work?" Rita said.

**Weiss: I've already, quote unquote, taken care of the others. So, if there isn't anything else!**

**Jaune: W-w-w-well, miss... (She keeps pressing the button.) I'd like to take tomorrow off, so I can spend Ch-Ch-Ch-Christmas day with m-m-my d-d-daughter, Priscilla. (She hits the desk with the remote and whacks it with a hammer and it still doesn't work, so she throws it away.)**

**Weiss: What is it with you and your daughter? You act like you're her father or something!**

"Isn't he?" Ruby said.

**Jaune: Sh-sh-she's my little girl, miss, and... well, w-w-with her mother gone, I'm all the family she has.**

"Aww..." the girls said, ready to cry.

"You're so sweet." Pyrrha said, making Jaune blush.

"Th-th-thanks..." he said.

"The movie has gotten you already, huh?" Fiona said.

**Jaune: P-p-please, miss. J-j-just show a little Christmas spirit.**

**Weiss: I'd like to, Arc. I really would. (They walk to the doors.) But how would it look to the other employees? You can't be always thinking of yourself. (She kicks him out.)**

They all gasped.

**Weiss: Now stop your sniveling and go assistant assistant manage something! We still have last-minute shoppers to exploit.**

**Jaune: B-b-b-but, miss, what do I say to my l-l-l-l-l-little Priscilla?**

**Weiss: Tell her, BAH HUMBUG! (She shuts the doors.)**

"Poor Jaune. He can't spend time with his daughter." Ruby said.

**(The scene changes to a montage. It shows the outside of the store and a big screen saying "0 1/2 shopping days left till X-mas". It shows employees wrapping and carrying gifts, even one who wrapped his fingers by accident. Money falling like rain, sales, bargains, Weiss throwing money in the air. Parents taking toys off the shelves, and Rita by accident.)**

They laughed a little.

"They even took you!" Fiona said while giggling.

**(Money falling in the cash register, so much that it blew up. Giant numbers, Weiss having a devilish grin on her face, employees carrying gifts, packaging them, carrying money bags that they can't lift. After that it shows Weiss sitting on a pile of cash.)**

**Weiss: Who needs a white Christmas when you can have a green one instead? **

"Is that what your father's doing in his free time?" Blake said.

"That would be funny." Weiss said.

**(She hears a tone, meaning it's time to go home.)**

**Weiss: Woah, time flies when you're getting rich. (She gets off of the pile like a slide. She takes her remote and presses a button, making the pile fall in a trapdoor. She presses another button, changing the Newton's cradle with an intercom.) It's a good thing I don't pay overtime. Attention, Lucky Snowflake shoppers! For your convenience, **_**our store will re-open at 5AM on Christmas morning and will remain open till midnight! **_**(The employees are listening to her.) You owe your thanks to the dedicated Lucky Duck employees who live to serve me. Duuhh, uhh, you. (They got depressed.)**

"That's really harsh." Jaune said.

**(The scene changes to after midnight, where everyone is leaving.)**

**Weiss: **_**Hey, fuzzface. Don't forget to punch out. **_**(Gossamer punches her face through the speaker.) (dizzy) I asked for that... (She falls down.)**

They all laughed.

"It went through the speaker!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

**(Everyone was leaving. Jaune was the last, to lock the door.)**

"Wait, you'll sleep in your office? Don't you have a house?" Ruby said.

**Jaune: M-m-m-merry Christmas, mrs Snowflake. S-s-see you in a few hours. (And with that walked home.)**

"Wait, the movie is halfway. Where are we? When we will appear?" Yang said.

"Wait, are we the ghosts?" Blake said and Nova nodded.

"It's fitting. You're her teammates, you're the ones who will make her change." Ren said.

**(We look at the top of the store, when suddenly lightning strikes, scaring Weiss, who was about to leave.)**

_**Three more ghosts... Three more ghosts...**_

**(She looks outside her office to see if anyone here. She's sneaking outside completely afraid. Then Nova pops out from behind the desk.)**

**Nova: Boo.**

**Weiss: AHH! (She jumps in fear, hitting the ceiling and falls down.)**

They all laughed.

"What are you doing here?" Fiona said.

**Nova: Hehehe, you thought I was a-**

**Weiss: Why are you still here?!**

**Nova: I'm still here because there's this big snowdrift blocking the exit. (Weiss realises that she's stuck inside the store and facepalms.)**

**Weiss: That means I'm locked in here with you till 5 in the morning!**

"At least you're not alone." Rita said.

**Nova: Look on the bright side! We can sing carols, make hot cider and string popcorn on the tree.**

**Weiss: I thought you said there was a bright side. (She goes back to her office.)**

**Nova: Hey, come on! Don't you want some company? Especially with the ghosts lurking around?**

**Weiss: Oh, what is it with you and the ghost thing, anyway?! How do you know so much?!**

**Nova: I'm a holiday expert! I love them so much that I made the point to learn everything there is to know about them. (She goes back to her office.) For instance, did you know that poinsettias were originally imported from Mexico? (He sees that she's going inside her office, so he appears in front of her.) Or that Santa Claus was born in Turkey? (She rans away.) Which of course is normally associated with Thanksgiving- (She comes back with an axe, making the turkey run away.)**

**Weiss: STOP! Say one more word and I'll make you run around like a headless chicken! (He does then a zipping mouth motion. She throws the axe away.)**

"That's too much, don't you think?" Pyrrha said.

**Weiss: I'm gonna lock myself in my office for the night and roll around in my money. Don't let anyone pass you who floats or says boo. (She shuts the door.)**

**Nova: Boo. Hehehehe!**

**(Weiss goes down her elevating platform to her safe.) **

**Weiss: Stupid idiot. Santa Claus originated from Turkey, poinsettia is imported from Mexico. (She opens her giant safe, goes inside and closes the door. In the next scene, she, now wearing a nightgown, closes completely the door with a blowtorch.)**

"Am I crazy? How am I going to get out?" Weiss said.

**(She puts her ear on the door to hear if anyone's outside. Then a bright light appears in front of her. When the light died, she opened her eyes she saw a black-haired ghost fairy, who was wearing a bow on her head and holding a candy cane.)**

"Wait, what?" Blake said when she saw herself.

"Oh my gosh, you're a fairy!" Ruby said.

"You're the ghost of Christmas Past!" Nora said.

**Weiss: A fairy with a bow. Hmph, how scary can she be?**

**Blake: You should be ashamed of yourself.**

**Weiss: Oh please. What are you gonna do? Sprinkle fairy dust? (The ghost starts whacking her head with the candy cane.)**

**Blake: How do you like that? (She starts chasing her around while whacking her head.) Huh?! Do you like that?!**

They started laughing.

**Weiss: Woah there, black-haired Tinkerbell! (She goes in a "karate stance", but the ghost grabs her by the collar of her nightgown.)**

**Blake: It's time for you to examine your life, mrs Snowflake! Starting from the beginning! Now, let's take a stroll down memory lane.**

**Weiss: What if I refuse? (The ghost whacks her head again, giving her a big bump.) (dizzy) Lead on... (The ghost pulls her by the bump and the screen goes black.)**

"Let's see now her tragic backstory." Rita said.

**(Now we see them flying to their destination. Weiss sees a very familiar sign.)**

**Weiss: The Lucky Snowflake orphanage?! Th-this is my unhappy childhood!**

"You're an orphan in this?" Fiona said.

**Weiss: Am-m-m-m I a ghost too?**

**Blake: Not yet but you're working on it. (They fly over there and see from the window three kids packing their stuff.)**

"*gasp* Look Ren! It's you! As a kid! You're so adorable!" Nora said.

"I'm there too! We're orphans!" Lillie said.

"I'm an actual orphan." Ren said.

"Oh."

"You all look so cute!" Ruby said.

"And it looks like you're packing to go to your new home." Pyrrha said.

"Look how Weiss is trying to close her suitcase!" Yang said and laughed a little.

**(Thee orphanage owner opensnthe door to talk to the children.)**

**Owner: Okay, little ones. It's time to meet your perspective parents. So be on your best behaviour.**

**Young Weiss: Oh! Oh! Pick me! My name is Weiss and I'm special and colourful! (The first one to leave is Ren. Weiss does a little tap dance.) I'm all-time talented! And I'm potty trained! (Pulls out a diaper.) Eh, for the most part.**

They all laughed.

"Now I've seen everything! I should've record that!" Yang said.

"Don't you dare!" Weiss said.

**Weiss: And I'm smart and loving and honest (The next and last one to leave was Lillie.) and I'm trustworthy and I'm-... I'm... alone. Just like every Christmas. (The ghost look at the sad event that's happening.)**

The girls were watching it with sadness.

**Owner: I'm sorry, Weiss. But at least you get to spend another year here at the Lucky Snowflake orphanage. (She closes the door, leaving her alone. Weiss watches her younger self being alone.)**

**Young Weiss: *sigh* (She goes to the window.) I don't want to stay here. *sigh* I just want a family. (She leaves the window.)**

"This is so sad..." Ruby said while holding her tears.

**(Weiss was about to cry, but the moment got ruined by the ghost crying.)**

**Blake: Wait a minute. Now I see how you came up with that pathetically ironic name of your store! I can also see how you became the nasty, selfish, cruel, cold-hearted, pathetically narcissistic, dirty, bad woman that you are today!**

"Your vocabulary is vast." Weiss said.

**Weiss: Thanks... I think.**

**Blake: (She pulls her with her candy cane.) That doesn't excuse you for ruining Christmas for Jaune's little daughter! And all your employees. (She whacks her head again.) Now, what have you learned from your visit to Christmas past?**

**Weiss: That life is cruel and that the only way to survive is to be as selfish as possible? (The ghost whacks her head.) **

They laughed a little.

**Blake: Try again!**

**Weiss: Before anyone gives me another slot on the noggin **(I didn't understand that line.)**, I have a proposition to make.**

"I'm dealing with a ghost? Seriously?" Weiss said.

**Blake: I'm listening.**

"And you're thinking to accept it?" Pyrrha said.

"Who knows? Curiosity, I guess." Blake said.

"Curiosity killed the cat." Lillie said.

"Huh?"

"I saw your bow twitch."

"You're a faunus?" Fiona said.

"Well... yes." Blake said.

"Can we see your ears?" Rita said.

"Okay...". She removes her bow, revealing her ears. (Meow)

"Aww, they're so cute!"

"We all say it to her." Yang said.

"Shut up." Blake said and puts back her bow.

**Weiss: What say we use this time-travel gimmicky of yours to hit last night's canine race at the track? We put a big load of money on a longshot named Limpin' Larry and walk away rich! Eh?**

"Hit me again." Weiss said.

**(The ghost whacks her head.)**

"Thank you."

**Blake: It seems like you'll never change. (She blows on her to make her fall down. Next she's falling, while screaming, on her desk.)**

**Weiss: That was despicable...**

**Nova: (through the speaker) **_**I hate to interrupt your sleep, mrs Snowflake, but your 2 AM appointment is here. A mrs Ghost of Christmas Present?**_

"Oh, who do you think is this ghost?" Ruby said.

**Weiss: Oh no... Not again! Not so soon! (The ghost kicks open the door and Weiss hides behind her desk.)**

"Is that me?" Yang said.

"It probably is." Blake said.

**(The ghost approaches the desk, seeing her trembling butt. She grabs her by the nightgown as Weiss screams in terror.)**

**Yang: I'm the ghost of Christmas Present, you greedy little, holiday-wrecking, varmint! And I was going to say a joke about me being dressed like a present, but I'm too angry!**

"It is me." Yang said.

"And you're very angry." Ren said.

**Weiss: *gulp* Uh, that's only part of who I am, heh heh. I'm actually quite complex.**

**Yang: I'm just supposed to take you on a little tour, but you're so lowdown, I'm gonna whomp you first! (She knocks her head.)**

"Already beating her up." Yang said.

**Weiss: (dizzy) Thanks for making me feel special. (The ghost grabs her by the nightgown and fly through the window, but Weiss can't so she hits the window. The ghost pulls harder but it's no use.) **

They all laughed a little.

"I like that you're keep pulling." Rita said.

**Weiss: Just for seizure reference, I'm not capable of passing through solid objects.**

**Yang: You're just not trying hard enough! Grab on to my robe, varmint. Just don't let go. (Weiss passes through. The ghost flies down, but her robe gets torn.)**

**Weiss: This is gonna hurt. (She starts screaming while falling. She falls headfirst on a snowman, but after the impact, the snow falls, revealing a fire hydrant.)**

They all winced.

"If we didn't have aura, that should probably open your head." Alice said.

**Yang: I told you not to let go! Now look what your actions has caused! **

**Weiss: AH! A Norasicle! (She sees Nora, sleeping outside, resting on a lamppost.)**

"You're sleeping out in the snow?!" Pyrrha said.

"Don't I have a house?!" Nora said.

**Yang: There's a lot more to see, you mingy varmint! (The ghost throws a snowball at Weiss, which knocks her out and the screen goes black.)**

They all laughed.

"Why do I say varmint all the time?" Yang said.

**(The screen returns, showing Marvin looking at his home planet with a telescope. The other two arrive to see. Marvin is depressed. But he sees a shooting start. He prays on it, wiping his tears. The ghost was like "See?!".)**

**Weiss: Tss, cheap holiday sentiment. (That angers the ghost even more. Weiss walks away but she didn't notice the sewer lid, so she stepped on it and fell in the sewer, while screaming. The ghost flies away to meet her at another place. The scene changes to a house. We see that they're both in the bathroom. The ghost comes out of the floor and sees the toilet shaking. She shoves her hand in and pulls out Weiss.)**

That made them laugh. Yang even took a picture.

"You took a picture?!" Weiss said.

"Like I'd miss the opportunity to shoot me pulling you out of the toilet."

**Weiss: (Spits water and takes a breath.) Drag through a toilet. The final indignity.**

**Yang: Oh, I beg to differ, critter. This is the final indignity! (She presses the flush and Weiss flushes down. She's thrown now to a room.)**

**Jaune: So hey, t-t-t-tomorrow's Christmas.**

"It's Jaune's house?" Blake said.

"And look! His kid is the one who was singing carols outside the store!" Ruby said.

**Priscilla: I'm so excited! Do you think I'll get that Pretty Sparkly Princess doll I asked for?**

"Oh no." Pyrrha said.

**Jaune: *gulp* J-j-j-j-jeepers, I-I-**

**Priscilla: It's the only thing on my list and I've been really good, all year long!**

"You're making this harder." Blake said.

**Jaune: Y-y-yes, you have. You've been the best d-d-daughter ever. (He kisses her forehead.)**

"Ohhh, this scene is so sweet!" Lillie said.

**Priscilla: Daddy? Why do you think mrs Snowflake is so mean?**

"Oh boy." Yang said.

**Jaune: Uh... I think it's because she doesn't have a family to spend Christmas with, l-l-l-like you and me. (The ghost nudges Weiss' shoulder. Jaune turns off her lamp, but sees through the window a bright star.) L-l-l-look! Th-th-th-th-that's the Christmas star! M-m-make a wish, before you go to sleep.**

**Priscilla: I wish for my Pretty Sparkly Princess doll. But even more, I wish my daddy didn't have to go to work tomorrow, (The ghost punches Weiss' arm.) so we can spend Christmas Day together.**

**Jaune: D-d-d-ditto. (He kisses her forehead and walks out of the room. Then Priscilla falls asleep. Then the ghost hits Weiss with her Christmas wreath, making it spin.)**

**Yang: Why can't you just give that sweet little thing her dolly?! You don't need the money!**

**Weiss: You have a firm grasp of guilt mrs ghost, but you just don't understand the first thing about greed.**

"Can I beat her now?" Yang said.

"Do it." Weiss said.

**Yang: Why youuu! How'd you like a ride back to your office on the end of my foot?!**

**Weiss: A lovely offer, but I think I'll pass. (The ghost kicks her butt anyway and the screen goes black.)**

They all laughed.

**(The screen returns to Weiss landing at her office again. She then sees the door open.)**

**Nova: **_**Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree**_

_**Your candle's shine outbright me! **_

**(Nova was putting the star on the tree, after decorating the place. Weiss comes to check what's going on. She stepped on a Christmas ball and crushed it. And because she was barefoot, she was hopping around, holding it in pain. Then Nova sees her.)**

"Do you ever watch where you're going?" Blake said.

"And you're complaining about me!" Ruby said.

**Nova: You look terrible! (She pulls the shard off her foot) If I didn't know better, I'd think you'd been beaten up on the head with a candy cane, dragged through the toilet and kicked in the butt with a size 10 boot!**

**Weiss: That's not the half of it! (She grabs him by the collar of his sweater.) I'm stuck in the crack. Just a few minutes ago, I was watching this little kid wishing on the Christmas star and I almost felt... something.**

"You did?" Yang said.

"Quiet." Weiss said.

**Nova: No... you?! Does that mean you're willing to change your greedy ways?**

**Weiss: I said I felt something. Not insanity!**

**Nova: Well, that's a shame, because I hear the last ghost is a real doozy.**

"And that's me!" Ruby said.

**Weiss: WAIT! There's another ghost?! (They both hear demonic screams coming from inside her office and the doors blown open by the wind. Weiss was trembling and biting her fingernails.)**

"That's... me?"

**Nova: Well, that's my que to leave. Good luck in the afterworld! (He runs away, but Weiss grabs him before he leaves.)**

**Weiss: No! Please! Don't go! Hide me! Please! Hide me! (She hugged him in fear.)**

**Nova: (looks at the camera) How can I possibly resist? **

"What will you do to her?" Fiona said.

**Nova: (He takes her to a washer and dryer.) Quick, in here! (He puts her in the washer. The program ends and he takes her out.) Nope. In here! (He puts her in the dryer. The program ends and he takes her out.) Naaah.**

They all started laughing.

**Nova: (He puts her on a small train ride, with her head sticking out of the funnel. Nova starts the ride. It was going fast. But her neck gets caught on Christmas lights, sending her hit on a wall.) This is just too easy.**

"You're enjoying every moment of this." Yang said.

**Nova: I know! Over here! (They go to a bow and arrow section. He takes a bow and shoots her like an arrow. She was sent flying and screaming and she crashed headfirst into a TV. She falls on her butt and sees the other screempns showing a red, dark, snowy sky, after a lightning strike.)**

"Oh boy, here I am!" Ruby said.

**(A hooded figure appears on the screens.)**

**Ghost: ****SNOWFLAKE!**

"Oh my gosh, I have a demonic voice!"

**Weiss: ... Mommy!**

**Ghost: (unintelligible demonic noises.)**

"What?" Jaune said.

**Weiss: Listen, mr ghost. I'm not so sure exactly what you're after-**

**Ghost: ****Yoooou!**

"It's Ruby or Soulja Boy?" Yang said.

**Weiss: I don't what they're paying you down at the ghost company, but whatever it is I'll triple it! (She gives the ghost money, who of course rips them to tiny pieces. They're both transferred at a cemetery.) Wh-wh-wh-where are we?**

**Ghost: (unintelligible demonic noises)**

**Weiss: Try that again and this time in a normal voice.**

**Ghost: (It reveals its face.) I SAID WE ARE AT THE CHRISTMAS FUTURE! (Her yelling pushed Weiss roll at a tombstone and falls in the empty grave.) Why no one understands me with the filtered voice?!**

They laughed a little.

"Why would you speak with a filtered voice?" Blake said.

"Because it's scary. Duh!" Ruby said.

**Weiss: Well, I don't mean to tell you your business, loli, but I think you've got the wrong holiday! This place has a distinctively Halloweeny part to it.**

"Loli?" Lillie said.

"It's an another word for underage girl." Nova said.

**(Weiss sees Jaune and her daughter looking at a tombstone and they walk towards them.)**

"At least the kid didn't die." Jaune said.

**Weiss: Who's the stiff taking a dirtnap?**

**Ruby: Take a look. (Weiss takes a better look and sees her name written on it, which surprisess her.)**

"You don't seem that surprised seeing your own grave." Alice said.

**Jaune: Poor m-mrs Snowflake never had a family. O-or friends for that matter. M-m-maybe now she'll finally get what she always wanted. T-t-t-to be alone with her money. F-f-f-forever.**

**Weiss: Surely I did some good for others! I know! I provided them with gainful employment!**

**Jaune: W-W-W-Weiss tried to leave the store to herself in her will, wh-wh-which of course is illegal. As a result, L-L-L-Lucky Snowflake has been closed. And we're all out of jobs. (Weiss facepalms.)**

They all laughed.

"Who does that?! I can't believe I did something that stupid!" Weiss said while laughing.

**Jaune: B-b-b-but for the first time in years, we can all spend Ch-Ch-Christmas with our families. (He places the flowers on her grave.) G-g-g-goodbye, mrs Snowflake. O-or as you liked to say, b-b-b-b-b-bah humdug. (They then walk away.)**

"At least someone came to your funeral...?" Pyrrha said.

**Weiss: (Sees her grave again.) Please! Do something! (The wind blows the flowers away. She shakes the ghost.) I DON'T WANT TO END UP LONELY! And alone...!**

**Ruby: (dizzy) I feel dizzy...**

**Weiss: ... Where did they find you again?**

They laughed a little.

**(Then Priscilla comes back with a plate of cookies.)**

**Ruby: Are those cookies?**

"You had to add that characteristic of her?" Weiss said.

**Priscilla: Mrs Weiss? I know everyone hated you, but I never hated you. Because I know as much as anyone how sad and angry it can make a person to be without a family at holidays. So, if you're up there watching, or... down there in your case, I want you to know that you don't have to be alone anymore. Cause from now on, every Christmas, I'll come visit you. In case you don't know, it's the one day of the year when everyone is family. I made you some Christmas cookies. (She places the cookies on her grave.) Merry Christmas, mrs Snowflake. (She leaves. Weiss started tearing up.)**

Everyone also was in the verge of tears.

"She offered you cookies... This is so emotional..." Ruby said.

"Such a pure soul..." Fiona said.

**(She looks down and notices that the cookies look like her. And the ghost starts crying.)**

**Ruby: THIS IS SO EMOTIONAL! SHE PLACED COOKIES ON YOUR GRAVE THAT LOOK LIKE YOU! THIS IS SO KIND AND PURE!**

Most girls did start crying.

"They look like meeee!" Weiss said while crying.

"Why can't we have holidays like these?!" Rita said while crying.

**Weiss: You know, loli, I said I was sorry before, but now I really am. (The ghost wipes her nose on her robe.) Can I please have a second chance? (The ghost looks at her.)**

**Ruby: ****Gooo!**** (The ghost grabs her and throws her like a spear. She hits a lamppost, changing its shape. She falls down and notices that she's alive.) **

**Weiss: I'm alive... I'm okay! And more importantly, I'm a changed person! Full with the spirit of giving! (She hears snoring. She digs the snowbank in front of her, revealing Nora sleeping there.) **

"You're still sleeping there? How?" Weiss said.

**Weiss: Valkyrie! Valkyrie! Wake up, Valkyrie!**

**Nora: Uhhh...**

**Weiss: What day is it?!**

**Nora: Christmas day...?**

**Weiss: Then I haven't missed it! I'm giving you a raise and a month long vacation in sunny Hawaii!**

**Nora: *excited gasp***

"I'm going to Hawaii!" Nora said.

"In the movie. Not really." Ren said.

"Aww..."

"Who knows? Maybe I'll take you all there." Nova said.

"You will?! Wait, what place is Hawaii?"

"It's one of the best places on Earth! A paradise." Fiona said, remembering the time she was there with Nova.

**Weiss: But first, we have work to do. Come on! (She takes Nora with her to the store.) It's time to save Christmas!**

**(It was 5 AM. All the employees had arrived. Jaune had also brought her daughter. The lights were closed. Then the star on the tree shined, surprising them. The lights turn on and Weiss comes, wearing a Santa suit.)**

**Weiss: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Marvin! I bought you a rocket so you can fly home for the holidays! (Shows the rocket.) If you fly at the speed of light, you should make it by yesterday!**

"I bought a rocket?! I'm a super store owner! I know I'm rich, but that would probably cost everything I had!" Weiss said.

**Marvin: Oh ho! You make me very happy!**

**Weiss: You'll never be hungry again, Sanchez. I'm hiring you your own personal chef! (Her chef arrives with a roasted turkey. Rita licks her lips and pulls out a sign that says "Yummy!".)**

"Holy crap, it looks delicious. Wait, I'm a mute in this?" Rita said.

**Weiss: Hey Pyrrha! (She gives her a present.) Merry Christmas! Or as they say in your country, gala Ristovlenna!**

"You killed it." Yang said.

"I know." Weiss said.

**Pyrrha: Eh, it's close enough.**

**Weiss: A Pretty Sparkly Princess for the pretty, pretty girl. (She gives the doll to Priscilla.)**

**Priscilla: *gasp* (She hugs it.)**

**Weiss: And, Pretty Sparkly Princess doll accessories, complete with Pretty Sparkly Princess doll pony and Pretty Sparkly Princess doll dreamhouse. (It shows Nora bringing everything.) **

"You look better already." Blake said.

**Weiss: And that's not all! I'm giving your dad... I mean my new store manager and all my other loyal employees, a raise and a paid vacation!**

**Jaune: Y-y-y-you okay, miss?**

**Weiss: I'm better than okay. After all these years of greed and selfishness, I finally feel like... a lucky snowflake!**

**Priscilla: It's a miracle, daddy.**

**Jaune: Y-y-y-yes, dear. A m-m-m-miracle.**

"It really is a miracle." Ruby said.

**(The scene changes to everyone celebrating. Weiss is dressing up the homeless boy with new and fancy clothes. Pyrrha and other employees are doing traditional dances. Fiona is also at the party. She is about to get a cup of something, but Pepe comes with a mistletoe tied on a stick over them. She's scared at first but then she grabs him in her hug and kisses him with passion.)**

"Woah!" team FRAL said.

"I kissed him! How are you not having a problem with this?" Fiona said.

"It's a cartoon. Who cares?" Nova said.

**Jaune: M-miss, I-I know you d-don't have a r-r-regular family... but today, we w-would like y-you to be one of ours.**

**Priscilla: In case you don't know, that's what Christmas is all about, mrs Snowflake. (She runs and hugs Weiss. Weiss hugs her back.)**

"Aww...!" the girls said.

**(A couple of employees were talking, then Alice comes, steals the sandwich of the one and flies away.)**

"I stole a sandwich?" Alice said.

"That was random." Fiona said.

**(Weiss sees everything she has done. She sees her employees having fun. All the money she spent, all the presents she bought, all the raises and paid vacations she gave. Then she starts regretting it.)**

"You're thinking of taking everything back now?!" Ruby said.

**Weiss: Presents... cash bonuses... improved health coverage! I'm gonna go broke! I got to think of a strategy to reverse the situation. Should I steal back all the presents? Should I cut everyone's salaries? I got to concentrate. (Then Priscilla pulls her sleeve to get her attention.)**

**Priscilla: Excuse me, miss. Would you like a cookie? (Weiss takes a cookie, which looked like her. Her eyes then fill with tears.) Merry Christmas, aunt Weiss.**

"*gasp* Aunt Weiss...?" Weiss said, ready to cry.

**Weiss: Aunt? Well that maybe pushing it a little. (Priscilla kisses her on her cheek.) Okay. Aunt Weiss it is. (The camera shifts up, where the ghosts are watching.)**

"Oh, we're watching them!" Ruby said.

**Yang: That varmint did it! She done turned herself around!**

**Ruby: This is such a happy ending... (She starts crying.) I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT HER!**

**Jaune: E-e-everyone! Can I have your attention? I-I-I want to pr-propose a toast! To mrs Weiss! The b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- greatest boss ever! (The employees touch their cups for Weiss.)**

**Everyone: MERRY CHRISTMAS! (The camera zooms out to show Nova, who turns to it.)**

**Nova: Don't you just love the holidays? (He eats a candy cane. The sliding doors close to show that the movie is over. Then Jaune cleans it a little to say the line.)**

**Jaune: Th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th- (Her daughter then comes.)**

**Priscilla: That's all folks! (They start laughing. The camera zooms out to show the store at it's glory. Then the screen goes black.)**

**THE END**

Everyone applauded.

"Amazing!" Nora said.

"Wonderful!" Ruby said.

"It was funny and entertaining!" Rita said.

"I liked it. Even though I suffered a lot, I liked it." Weiss said.

"Thanks. You know, if that was shown on Earth, most wouldn't like it." Nova said.

"Why not?" Jaune said.

"Because a woman was going through a lot of slapstick pain."

"So?" Yang said.

"Women would be angry because it was a woman who suffered."

"But it's a cartoon. Of course she would suffer. Cartoons on Remnant do that and everyone likes them." Fiona said.

"They do on Earth too, but only to the ugly, fat, old and stupid. To the pretty ones, they wouldn't dare."

"That's sexist." Blake said.

"I mean I get it. It is kinda funny. I mean in anime it happens sometimes, because it's hilarious. But if they do slapstick comedy on a woman nowadays, they won't like because they see it disrespectful. Or a fetish."

"That's stupid." Nora said.

"Yeah, no matter what you, something will turn on someone." Fiona said.

"Anyway, it's not over yet. There's one more short." Nova said.

"Then show it." Rita said.

**(It begins at Jaune's house. And Weiss was there to celebrate Christmas.)**

**Priscilla: I'm so glad you're here, mrs Snowflake. You get to do the best part! Putting the holiday star in the tippy top of the tree!**

**Weiss: I'll pass. (Priscilla gets sad then.) Alright, alright! (She takes the star.)**

**Priscilla: Oh, thanks you mrs Snowflake! I'm gonna go check on the Christmas cookies. (She goes to the kitchen.)**

**Weiss: Well, let's get this over with. (She tries to put the star on top, but she's not tall enough.) Oh, forget it.**

"You're giving up already?" Pyrrha said.

"Even in this you're short." Yang said.

"Shut up." Weiss said.

"You can use a step ladder." Blake said.

**Priscilla: (from the kitchen) How's it going?**

**Weiss: Hmm... Ah! (She goes and brings a small table. She steps on it to put the star.)**

"Why not a step ladder?" Fiona said.

**(But since the was standing on the edge, the table tips over, hitting her butt, sending her through the tree. Her head pops out from the other side, with her face full of decorations.)**

They laughed a little.

**(After a bit of struggling, she pulls herself out. She pulls the ribbon to lower the top and put the star. But Christmas balls fall and break on her head.)**

"Use a step ladder!" Yang said.

**(She then tries to put the star while holding the tree.)**

**Weiss: Can't... hold... much... longer...! (She couldn't hold it, so the tree spins her around and gets tied on it.)**

**Priscilla: (from the kitchen) The cookies are almost done! (Weiss sees the star. She walks towards it and bends over, along with the tree to put the star. She sees that she did it, but the star falls.) Cookies are done! Can't wait to see the tree! (Weiss does this again and succeeds. She walks back, but there were Christmas balls on the floor, she loses her ballance and falls on her butt. The star ends up falling on her head.)**

"I can't be that useless. I can't even put the star on top!" Weiss said.

**Priscilla: (She comes holding a plate with cookies.) Oh, mrs Snowflake. (giggles) Looks like the tree decorated you. But why don't you just use the ladder? (The screen shows the ladder. The star on her head then shines. Weiss is not amused and the short ends.)**

"That was fun. You couldn't even decorate a tree." Yang said.

"Yeah, yeah, can we go to sleep now? I'm feeling tired."

"Not before you open your presents!" Nova said, bringing a lot of presents.

"Sweet!" Ruby said.

"They... all look the same. What are they?" Blake said.

"Open them!". They open their present to reveal...

"Onesies?" Lillie said.

"You got us onesies?" Weiss said.

"Not just plain onesies. Colourful animal onesies!" Nova said.

"Me and Jaune have normal pajamas." Ren said.

"Of course. I only took for the girls."

"*gasp* Mine has dog ears!" Ruby said.

"Mine has a unicorn horn!" Weiss said.

"Mine actually has holes on the hood." Blake said.

"Mine too." Fiona said.

"Mine too." Lillie said.

"Mine has on the back." Alice said.

"For your actual animal traits." Nova said.

"... It's perfect..." Blake said, with teary eyes.

"Mine has paws. Lion ones?" Yang said.

"Mine also has a horn." Pyrrha said.

"*gasp* Mine looks like a sloth! Awesome! Now I can use their power of... going slow!" Nora said.

"Mine has tiger stripes!" Rita said.

"Well? Don't you have something to say to me?" Nova said.

"Thanks Nova!" everyone said.

"You're all welcome. Now let's go to sleep.". They went to the bedrooms, with Nora going really slow. But Ren came and carried her on his shoulder. When they went inside. Nova actually stopped Fiona before she could go. "Oh, not you. I have one more present for you. In my bedroom."

"Oooh, you're such a naughty boy~." Fiona said.

"Can we see it?" Ruby said.

"Uh, Ruby?" Yang said. She whispered to her ear what are they gonna do, making her blush.

"I feel awkward..."

"Okay, kids. Good night!" Nova said.

"Good night." they all said. They all wore their new pajamas and went to bed, falling immediately asleep, while Nova and Fiona were having Christmas sex.

* * *

After that, Nova asked her a question.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay here? The girls can stay too."

"I know, but... it's just... living in another dimension, far from home. I don't know how to take this." Fiona said.

"I can move you around, that's not a problem."

"I know... But... We're dating for two months and I still can't digest it. I feel... insignificant."

"Hey. Don't feel like that. If I wasn't dating you, you would be insignificant. But you're not. And if you're feeling like that now, imagine when you meet my father."

"Your father...?"

"Don't worry. He'll like you. He's the nicest guy you'll ever see. But I'm worried about my exes."

"Oh boy..."

"Please... stay here. It doesn't feel right when you're not next to me."

"Hmm... alright. I'll stay here.

"Thanks. You're making me so happy."

"You too.". And with that, they fell asleep.

* * *

**And done! DID YOU LIKE IT? IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, THEN FUCK YOU, I'LL MAKE MORE. LIKE, FOLLOW, LEAVE A REVIEW AND NOT A REQUEST, SEND ME A PM IF YOU WANT AND READ THE NOVA FORCE. SEE YOU SOON!**


	78. Nova Force EP4

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 75: Nova Force EP 4**

Alright, because I always say that it's a wonderful day, this time is a bad day. It was raining outside. Team RWBY was walking tiredly to their dorm. "I. Hate. Classes." Ruby said.

"Me too." Yang said. "At least professor Peach got fired and we had a free hour."

"It was a shame." Weiss said.

"What shame? She wasn't even here for half a year." Blake said.

"Man, I wish we had gone on a mission, like team JNPR did. Why didn't we?" Ruby said.

"Because Ice Queen didn't want to go on a mission while it's raining." Yang said.

"The Vytal Tournament is in two months and it's been raining the entire week. I won't let anything happen to my health in the meantime, especially getting pneumonia, just because I was bored." Weiss said.

"You know, it takes a long time to prepare for the festival. It's been 5 months since then." Blake said. They reached their door and entered their dorm.

"Yeah, you would think that they would start the... preparations...". Yang didn't finish her sentence because she and her friends saw someone else in the middle of the room, sitting on a chair.

"Good evening, girls. And Happy New Year." Nova said as he turned to see them, looking like a movie villain.

"What are you doing?" Weiss said.

"I was bored."

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" Blake said.

"They're busy in the movie room. They have a marathon."

* * *

_MEANWHILE, AT NOVA'S PLACE_

Team FRAL was watching Titanic.

"Bullshit! There is space! Pull him out!" Rita said.

* * *

_BACK TO THE PLOT_

"Anyway, how's it going?"

"We're bored." Ruby said.

"At this point I would do anything. And I'm too bored to read any book a third time." Blake said.

"Thankfully, I came the right moment. Let's watch some Nova Force, shall we?"

* * *

Later, they sat at the couch and got ready.

"Should we do it without the others? They'll miss it." Ruby said.

"We'll watch it again when they return." Yang said.

"Alright, I'm putting the episode." Nova said.

**After killing Lucifer and taking his powers, the three sisters went to his castle. But the castle was surrounded by guards. But that didn't stop them. Thanks to their new power, they passed all of them. And by passed, I mean brutally slaughtered every single one of them. **

"Already starting strong." Blake said.

"Is there a reason why they're killing them?" Weiss said.

"Woooow, that sword is cool..." Ruby said.

**"Ugh, they've become really soft all those centuries. It's not fun." Rhelnila said while beheading more guards. **

**"Don't worry, my sister. Things will change when we start ruling this place." Pristia said. **

**"I hope one of those changes will be a new decoration. This place is a dump." Aezielle said.**

**"Will you shut the fuck up already? You didn't stop whining since we left." **

**"Eat a dick." **

**"I will." **

**"It's not fun when you like it.". In the end they reached the throne room. Rhelnila slayed the last guards and Pristia sat on the throne. **

"Why are you killing everyone?!"

**"Ah, it feels so good.". Suddenly a very old looking demon appeared. **

**"What do you think you're doing here?!" he said. **

**"Ah, Lucifer's councilor. What do you think I'm doing? I'm sitting on my new throne." **

**"When Lucifer finds you here he'll-" **

**"He'll what? Kill me? Then let's ask him. Aezielle?". Then Aezielle showed Lucifer's severed head, which she totally had the entire time. She shoved her hand inside it and started controlling it like a puppet. **

**"Well, Mr Lucy, what do you say about all this? **_**I say that I'm a total dick-sucking weenie and she's the most capable for the job.**_** I think you're absolutely right! See? He agrees." Aezielle said, making a bad impersonation. **

"This is very disturbing." Ruby said.

"This show doesn't chill. Probably one of the reasons people like this." Yang said.

**"No... it can't be..." the councilor said. **

**"It can be. And now you serve me." Pristia said. **

**"If that's how it is, then... what would you like to do?" **

**"I want a donut. Rhelnila?" **

**"With pleasure." she said. She went and shoved her fist in his chest, killing him. **

"Oh, come on!" Weiss said.

"Yeah! Donut? That's just wrong." Ruby said.

**"Councilors are for those who don't know how to do anything. Now that that's out of the way, let's check the warriors." **

**"Where? The TV is at home." Aezielle said. **

**"So? I'm a queen, I can order someone to bring it.". Later two demons came and brought their TV. "Great, now you can leave.". After that, they turned it on, to see the warriors, who they were at the desert. **

"And in a limo." Yang said.

**"Why are they in the desert?" Rhelnila said. **

**"They are probably on their way to the last warrior." **

**"Wait, they're near Area 51." Aezielle said. **

**"Ooh, an alien warrior. Interesting." **

**"But we can't let them recruit her. If they become four, it will be all over." Rhelnila said. **

**"True. That's why I already have an idea. I need someone sneaky for the job." **

**"Did you say sneaky?" a random voice said, surprising the three sisters. **

**"Who said that?! Show yourself!" Rhelnila yelled. **

**"Oh please, don't be afraid. I'm here to serve my new ruler.". The voice then came out of his hiding place. It revealed to be a shadow looking demon. **

**"And who are you?" Pristia said. **

**"My name is Allmon. I was a loyal servant of Lucifer, until I got tired of him. Since I learned that you killed him, I realised that you would be a better ruler." **

"How did he learned that?" Weiss said.

**"How did you learned that? That was half an hour ago." Rhelnila said. **

**"It's all over the social media. Look.". Allmon showed the post on his phone. It said: '**_**we killed Lucifer lol my sister rules you all *middle finger emoji***_**', by Aeziedoll11. They all turned to look at her. **

They laughed a little.

"She managed to make a rhyme." Ruby said.

"Who writes lol after that?"

**"What? They should know. And it also rhymed." she said. **

**"...Anyway, as I was saying, I came to help." **

**"So, you can sneak into Area 51?" Pristia said. **

**"It's not the first time I did it." **

**"Then it's settled. You will go to Area 51 and find a way to kill these warriors. You think that you can do that?" **

**"I will not fail you, my queen." **

**"Then what are you're waiting for? Go.". Then Allmon left to complete his task. **

"He'll die." Blake said.

**"I don't think he'll survive." Aezielle said. **

**"He won't. He's not strong enough. But he will cause enough chaos and gather enough negative energy to make us stronger. In the end, I win." **

**"You mean, we win." **

**"Yeah, whatever. Now shut up and let's watch the show, shall we?" **

**[Intro]**

"CRY FOR THE MOOOOOON!" Ruby and Yang shouted.

_**Episode 4: An alien visitor, the Warrior of Knowledge **_

**Meanwhile, our heroes were in a limo, going through the desert to reach their destination. "I can't believe that the president lent us one of his limousines!" Stamatis said. **

**"Well, when you save the White House from terrorists, people will owe you a favor." Ellen said. **

"Hey, we saved the city when the Breach happened, why don't we get special treatment?" Weiss said.

"Isn't respect enough?" Blake said.

"Besides, Nova did most of it." Yang said.

"It was a productive day." he said.

**"And you had doubts about revealing your identity." **

**"I guess it has its goods. But I had to deal with my mom when we returned." **

_**FLASHBACK **_

**Ellen had a conversation with her mom on the phone. "I'm sorry that I didn't say anything, mom! The day Alex died. What do you mean why did I keep it a secret? Obviously to protect you! I have mortal enemies, they have their ways of searching! Don't blame me, because I read comics, it's common sense! Okay, first of all, it would have happened anyway and second, I never wanted to become a lawyer! Don't ruin my dreams! If I became a super hero, then I will become a fashion model too!... Yes, I'll be careful, I've been doing this for the last three years. Okay, I'm ending the call, bye!". Then she ended the call to stop hearing her mother whining. "God, it's finally over." **

_**END OF FLASHBACK **_

They laughed a little.

"Don't ruin my dreams. That was the best." Yang said.

**"...Okay. Hey Shizuna, what are you doing there?" Stamatis said. **

**"Oh, I'm taking notes for my new series. I'm doing my research. I need to know what the rest of the world is into." Shizuna said. **

**"They are actually divided into parts. The κεκ, the cringe and the fanbases. The κεκ people are into quality stuff, that make even boomers laugh sometimes. The cringe people are actually kids from 9 to 14 year olds, which they are into cringy memes, stupid trends like licking ice cream from the super market and putting it back, bad role models, like those instangram 9 year olds, gay youtubers, stupid and unfunny youtubers, rap songs that isn't actually real music at this point, but just a porn preview, tik tok videos and etc. And that's just my meme point of view. Now fanbases are different, depending on the franchise. There are good fanbases like most anime ones and the bad ones, like Sonic, MLP, FNAF, Undertale, Steven Universe, even though I never watched that show and etc. Oh, who am I kidding, they're all bad. Are you writing all that?" **

**"... What?" **

"I never heard something so dumb and unneeded but so true at the same time." Weiss said.

"Who writes that crap?" Blake said.

**"Wait, you never watched Steven Universe?" Ellen said. **

**"Cartoon Network came to Greece last year." Stamatis said. **

**"Seriously?" **

**"Yeah. I mean, Nickelodeon was created in 2010 and now that gap is getting shortened." **

**"Wow, you're very behind." **

**"I hope we get to Area 51 soon because the viewers will get bored. They're probably are already." Shizuna said.**

**"Right... wait, what?" **

"And unnecessary fourth-wall breaking. Great."

**"We reached Area 51." the driver said. After they got out of the car, they walked towards the gate. **

**"I still can't believe we are in Area 51." **

**"Not only that. We are legally here." Stamatis said. **

**"I don't get it. Why so much fuss about going to Area 51?" Shizuna said. **

"She doesn't know about the raid?" Ruby said.

**"...How secluded are you?" **

**"I lived in Japan." **

**"A lot.". Then they saw two guards aiming their guns at them. **

**"Hey you! It's not September! Turn back right now!" one of them said. **

"If they were for the raid, what would they do?"

**"Relax buddy, the president gave us permission. See?". Then he gave them a piece of paper. **

**"Yeah, that's the president's signature. We will take you to the general.". The guards opened the gates and escorted them inside. **

**"Wait, what happened in September?" Shizuna said. **

**"...Do you live under a rock?" **

**"I don't have to know every stupid stuff Americans do." **

"Exactly." Weiss said.

**When they entered the building, the general himself was waiting for them at the entrance. "Sir, these people wanted to talk to you!" one of the guards said. **

**"I know, the president already informed me. Let me handle the guests now. You may leave." he said. **

**"Yes sir!" they said and left. **

**"When I heard that the Speed Demon wanted to see me, it had to be important." **

**"Actually, my leader wanted to talk to you. Stamatis?" Ellen said. **

**"Of course. It has to do about the incident in Japan. Unfortunately, more invasions will happen." Stamatis said. **

**"Then what business do you have here?" the general said. **

**"You see, sir, my job now is to gather my team members." **

**"Here in Area 51?" **

**"The last member is an alien. And don't bother covering that up. I've already been in space." **

**"...Follow me.". They all followed the general to the classified floor of the building. But no one noticed a random soldier watching them. **

**"I guess it's my time now." he said. **

"Is he a bad guy?" Ruby said.

"I think it's the demon." Blake said.

**The general took them to the cells. "Here. This is where we have all the aliens. So, which one is it?"**

**"Her name is Amélie Auclair." Stamatis said. Everyone then looked at him with shock. "What?" **

**"That's the one?!" Ellen said. **

**"Yeah, why?" **

**"And you call me the secluded one." Shizuna said. **

**"Three years ago, a 15 year old girl in France commited murder. The witnesses saw her turn her hand into a spike and stabbing the victim in the chest. The most freakish part was her face. From a sweet girl, she turned into a monster. She bit his head and swallowed it. Interpol arrested her, but the weird thing is that she surrendered on her will. When we heard it, we realised that she is an alien. She's now our "prisoner"." the general said. **

"Oh, that's nasty." Yang said.

"If she did that, why is she a part of the team?" Weiss said.

**"Why the air quotes?" Stamatis said. **

**"Since the first day, she wouldn't speak to anyone. When I saw her face, it wasn't the one of a murderer. It was full of guilt and terror. She had the best treatment from us. But she can't forget what she's done. Even though she did that, she's just a kid." **

"Very unrealistic from a military force." Ruby said.

**"Can you take us to her?" **

**"Of course.". The kept walking until the end of the hall. In the end there was an elevator. It took them to the lowest floor. There was only one cell. The cell was big, with indestructible glass. Inside was a girl with short blond hair, on a meditation stance, floating. "There she is." **

"Is she that dangerous?"

**"Thank you.". Stamatis walked towards the cell, without knowing what to expect. "Are you Amélie Auclair?" **

**"I am. Who is this?" she said. She stopped meditating, she descended and turned towards him. **

**"My name is Stamatis. Can I talk to you for a minute?" **

**"What do you want, monsieur Stamatis?" **

"Her accent is kinda cute."

**"I'm here to tell you about your powers." **

**"You mean my psychic abilities and vast knowledge? I already know." **

**"You do?" **

**"When I got these powers, my mind was instantly filled with information about everything. Including my abilities. But only that. But what about it?" **

**"I'm here to tell you more. You had those powers since you were born. It is your destiny. Our destiny." **

**"Our?" **

**"We have similar powers. I'm the warrior of light and you the warrior of knowledge. Me and a couple of friends are forming a team. A team of super heroes, the Nova Force. And you are our last member. So, do you want to come with us?" **

**"No." **

"The first no." Blake said.

**"Τι;" **

**"You heard me, I said no. Thank you for the offer, monsieur Stamatis, but it's for the best if I don't." **

**"What? Why? You can be a super hero." **

**"I can't! I'm a monster. I was made to kill." **

**"What do you mean?" **

**"When I was five, I suffered from amnesia. And I still do. I didn't know who I am. But one day I was adopted by a lovely couple. When I was twelve, they told me that they found me in a massive crater, in the mountains. They thought I was an alien. But they didn't care. They took care of me like I was their real daughter. But I was wondering who I am since then. Three years ago, I was in Paris, on a walk with my dog. I loved it so much. But suddenly, a mean guy came and killed my dog. I was devastated. I saw my dog die in front of me." **

The girls gasped.

"Poor doggie..."

"Right in front of her..." Weiss said.

"I think this is a bad time but,... that's the worst JoJo reference." Yang said.

"Oh come on! Really?!" Ruby said.

**"Then I snapped. My powers were awakened that moment. But along with all that information... I remembered some memories. And they were disturbing. I saw myself killing. Destroying everything in my path. The words destroy and kill were echoing in my head. Then I noticed that the man who killed my dog was a mess. His head missing, my face covered in blood, my hand going through his torso. I didn't know what to do, I was scared. Then Interpol came. I surrendered immediately, so I wouldn't hurt anyone. Since that day, I never saw my parents again. They probably hate me and are scared because of what I did. Then the U.S. army came and took me here. Since then I was controlling the beast inside of me. It's the best for the entire universe if I don't come out. So you better leave now." **

"I believe there will be an arc about her." Blake said.

**"No." **

**"Huh?" **

**"No, I won't leave until you join my team. These powers were given to you for a reason. And that's why I'm here." **

**"But-" **

**"No buts! You don't have to worry about it. We will fight it together. And maybe we figure out the mystery of your origin." **

**"You mean it?" **

**"I might be immature sometimes, but I'm very serious about stuff like that. So, what do you say now?" **

"Come on, join them!" Ruby said.

**Meanwhile, on the higher floors, the mysterious soldier from before was heading towards the control room. Whenever he saw a soldier, he would shoot him and continue walking. When they managed to shoot him, a shadow came out and went to another body, controlling it.**

"Called it." Blake said.

**After many kills, he reached the control room. He killed everyone inside and started his plan. "Alright, now where is the lockdown button? Oh, there it is." he said. He pressed a button and all the exits closed. "Great, all the exits are locked. Now it's time for the real fun. Demons, rise and cause chaos for our new queen!". He kneeled and summoned a pentagram. In every area of the building, pentagrams appeared and out of them demons came. The soldiers started shooting at them. Despite taking some of them down, they kept coming.**

**"They are too many! Retreat!" one guard said. Then a demon jumped at him and possessed his body. More demons did the same with the rest of the soldiers. **

**The same happened with our heroes. Pentagrams appeared and demons came out. "What the hell?!" the general said. **

**"Demons?! Here?!" Stamatis said. The three of them instantly transformed. **

**"****畜生****! Why now?!" Shizuna said. **

**"Probably because they want to kill us before our team gets full." Ellen said. They all destroyed almost every demon that came out. The one that got away went and possessed the general's body. "General, no!" **

**"Don't worry, I'll help him!" Stamatis said. The possessed general took his gun and started shooting at him. Of course Stamatis avoided them. He went close and punched the general in the gut. The punch managed to shoot the demon out of his body. He then cut its head with his energy blade. "Are you ok sir?" **

"That was awesome!" Ruby said.

"That hit could kill him." Weiss said.

"But it reminds me something... but what?"

"Dragon Ball Super Heroes." Nova said.

"Huh?"

"Oh yeah! When UI Goku punched Vegeta and removed the alien from him!" Yang said.

**"Yes, I'm okay. What the hell was that?"**

**"Demons. They came again. There are probably more outside." **

**"My soldiers!" **

**"Don't worry, we'll save them. You just release Amélie. We need her. Team, let's go!". They all left the room. The general opened the cell. Amélie was free, but she hesitated. **

**"Amélie, what's wrong? You're free." **

"Come on, go!"

**"What if I go berserk again? What if I hurt them?" she said. **

**"Listen. I don't have any idea what the fuck is going on, but you have to make a decision. And I hope it's the right one.". She couldn't make up her mind. To go or not to go? Then she finally made her decision. **

**In their way, they destroyed demons and saved soldiers. But when they reached the ground floor, they saw that all the soldiers were possessed. "That is so messed up. And I'm not sure if we can do what you did." Ellen said. **

**"Don't worry, I got this." Stamatis said. "Cover your eyes!". Ellen and Shizuna closed their eyes in time. His eyes glowed bright, illuminating a blinding light. The demons came out of the bodies and were destroyed by the light. The soldiers just fell unconcious. The light died and he fell on his knees, panting. His friends opened their eyes and saw him in that condition. **

"Woooow..." Ruby said.

**"What did you do?" Shizuna said. **

**"A little trick. It's like the Taioken but it actually does damage. It's the second time I used it, so it tires me out." **

**"Then it will be a little easier to kill you." a voice said. They turned and saw the shadowy demon. **

"I have to admit, that's a good design." Blake said.

**"Who are you?" Ellen said. **

**"My name is Allmon. My new queen sent me to kill you before your team gets full." **

**"That's smart and stupid at the same time. You can't possibly think that you can beat us. It's 3 against 1." Stamatis said. **

**"Don't you mean 2 against 1?" **

**"What?". Allmon ran towards him and entered his body to possess him. But he immediately jumped out, screaming in pain. "How?! Why can't I possess you?!" **

"His powers protect him from possession?" Weiss said.

**"My powers prevent you demons enter my body. Instead it hurts you. It's useless." **

"Muda muda!" Yang said.

**"Oh. Well sh-". Before he could finish his sentence, Stamatis punched him in the face and sent him towards some tanks. **

**"Alright, time to finish this, so we can leave.". But Allmon was actually smiling. **

**"You know... living beings... aren't the only things I can possess.". He then went through all the tanks. The tanks started moving by themselves, aiming their cannons at the warriors. **

"I'm pretty sure it will take more than tanks to kill them." Ruby said?

**"So? We can just blow them up!" **

**"But what about the soldiers? We would kill them by accident. And we can't get them out." Ellen said. **

"I don't think the explosion will be big enough to kill them all." Weiss said.

**'Even if I blow them up or they blow up the tanks, everyone else will die. Also the explosion will weaken them, therefore I'll finish them myself.' Allmon thought. "Victory is-". Before he could finish his sentence again, some giant tentacles grabbed a tank and threw it out of the building, making a hole in the wall. "OH, WHAT NOW?!". They saw that those tentacles belonged to a green haired girl with pink eyes. **

"Yes! She's here!" Ruby said.

**"Amélie! You came!" Stamatis said. **

**"I'm a member of the Nova Force. Why wouldn't I come?" she said. She then throwed every tank outside one by one. **

**"I think I should go now." Allmon said. He summoned a pentagram to go into, but an arm grabbed him. Amélie extented her arm like rubber and threw him left and right, back and forth. She threw him in the air and then transformed her hands into cannons. **

**"You don't belong in this world. Foutez le camp." Her arm cannons glowed green inside. **

**"Oh no. NOOOOOOOOOOO-". She launched a big blast, turning him in dust. **

**"Fin.". She turned and saw the rest looking at her slack-jawed out of amazement. **

"Exactly us." Yang said.

**"Woah. Cool ability, epic finish. You're officially in Nova Force. Welcome Amélie." Stamatis said. **

**"Merci." **

**"Thank you too for saving Area 51." the general said who just came. **

**"General!" Ellen said. **

**"So you don't mind taking Amélie with us?" Stamatis said. **

**"I think it would be better if she was with you." the general, that I'm to bored to name, said. **

"Veeeery unrealistic." Nova said.

**"You won't regret it sir." **

**"I hope so. Also, as a token of my gratitude, I would like to take you all home." **

**"Thank you, sir. It would be nice." **

**The Nova Force, now full, they were on a military jet, going back to New York. "Really, that happened?" Amélie said. **

**"Yeah, demons, terrorists, evil scientists and robots." Ellen said. **

**"Being a super hero is awesome." **

**"It is. Hey Stamatis, what are you thinking about?" **

**"About what the demon said. New queen? What is going on in Hell?" Stamatis said. Meanwhile in hell, the three sisters were watching everything. **

**"Well, he's dead." Aezielle said. **

**"But at least we got stronger." Rhelnila said. **

**"It's only a matter of time." Pristia said. **

**"**_**It's only a matter of time**_**. Why can't we sent someone strong enough to kill them already?" Aezielle said. **

"She's the only smart one there!" Weiss said.

**"Why can't you shut up for one second? You don't understand how it is." **

**"Man, fuck you. I'm going somewhere else.". She left the room and started talking to someone. "When she saw herself as a queen in my sphere, she started thinking that she's better than everyone." **

**"Your sister is very naive.". The one who talked was her own shadow. **

"Her shadow has a personality? That's interesting." Blake said.

**"I know. She didn't look further into the future.". The reason why Pristia wanted to becone the new queen was Aezielle's sphere. With that sphere, they could see the future. She took her sphere and saw Pristia in the throne. But she then went further into the future and saw herself in the throne. "If only you knew." **

"A fortune telling sphere?" Yang said.

"Of course she would become the queen, she's smarter." Weiss said.

_**TO BE CONTINUED...**_

_**BGM: P. Y. T. (by Michael Jackson)**_

**It showed the three girls in a place that looked like a disco club, with smoke and neon lights.**

"Hold on, new intro?" Yang said.

_**You know, you—you make me feel so good inside**_

_**I always wanted a girl just like you**_

_**You're such a pretty, pretty young thing. Oooh~.**_

"MJ...?" Blake said.

**The scene changes to Ellen, who was walking down the street, wearing a beautiful outfit. She lowers her sunglasses and winks at the camera. Then it changes to Shizuna, who was sitting at a café, drawing on her drawing book, wearing a beautiful, white, summer outfit. It then changes to a sexy blonde woman, walking down the street. She passes two guys looking at her, as she turns at the corner. She stops and morphs back to her normal form. Amélie starts giggling.**

That made them laugh a little.

**Then it changes to the entire team dancing, doing the choreography for Beat it, but slightly different. After that, they look atbthe camera with a serious, yet beautiful expression and changes to the credits, with a space background.**

"That's the best outro I've ever seen!" Ruby said.

"And it had a MJ song!" Weiss said.

"It's not done." Nova said.

**It then shows the team dancing more, now doing the robot.**

_**Pretty young things, repeat after me**_

_**Say "Na, na, na."**_

**Girls (showing only their mouths behind the mic): **_**Na, na, na**_

_**Na, na, na, na**_

**Girls: **_**Na, na, na, na**_

_**Say "Na, na, na."**_

**Girls: **_**Na, na, na**_

_**Na, na, na, na, na**_

**Girls: **_**Na, na, na, na, na**_

_**I'll take you there, take you there!**_

**The outro ends with them doing fabulous poses as the song slowly ends.**

"That was the extended version. The original ends at the dance."

"It was still amazing." Blake said.

"Who knew that such unoriginality and boredom would create something good?" Weiss said.

"Okay, now what?" Yang said.

"Well... it's Friday." Nova said.

"So?" Blake said.

"3... 2... 1..."

"Wait... Yes!" Yang said.

"What?" Ruby said.

"JOJO FRIDAY!" Yang and Nova said.

_(JoJo references: 34)_

**And done! And it's JoJo Friday! Like, follow, leave a review and NOT A REQUEST, sent me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!**


	79. DevilArtemis compilation 3

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes, grammar mistakes and the ****N-WORD****.**

**Chapter 76:**** DevilArtemis compilation 3 (JoJo)**

"Great, more poses." Blake said.

"C'mon, don't tell me that you don't like it." Yang said.

"I'll be honest, I prefer the manga."

"How do you-"

"The box with the hentai I gave her, it's actually bottomless. You can shove your hand and take any issue from any series you want to read." Nova interrupted Ruby.

"Wait, really?!". She ran to the box, shoved her hand inside and pulled out an issue of My Hero Academia. "Sweet!"

"Are you going to start the videos or what?" Weiss said.

"Yeah, sorry. More DevilArtemis." Nova said.

**Cell vs Jotaro**

**[Intro]**

"The video looks old." Ruby said.

**Cell: So then YouTube decides not to share any of my notifications and I'm all like "What the f*ck? Y'all niggas got me trippin' if you think that-"... What the f*ck? Uh, give me a second, Kermit. One second, hold on. (Ends the call.)**

"Woah, is he allowed? He said the n-word."

"I guess they didn't care then." Blake said.

**Cell: Um, hello? Hi! Yeah, who the f*ck are you?**

**Jotaro: Good grief. I'm not sure the old man had any idea what he was talking about.**

"*gasp* It's Jotaro!" Yang said.

**Cell: Hey! Auditions for the Breakfast Club are not at the Cell Games! Fuck off! Stupid teenagers.**

"Wait, it's not even censored properly!" Weiss said.

**Jotaro: I'm looking for DIO. Apparently I was told he was seen heading in this direction.**

**Cell: Listen, whoever told you that is a fucking retard, cuz there is no "Dildo" or whatever the hell you're looking for here, alright? Do me a favour. I'm a buzy man, alright? Please take your Keanu Reeves looking-ass out of my arena.**

**Jotaro: You know what, asshole? You've managed to piss me off.**

"Oh boy." Yang said.

**Cell: Uhh... okay? And is that supposed to mean something-**

**Jotaro: Star Platinum! (He stops time and Star Platinum starts punching Cell in the dick.)**

**SP: ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!**

"That's overkill." Blake said.

**Jotaro: Time resumes. (Time resumes and Cell falls and groans in pain.)**

**Cell: OH! OH DEAR GOD! OHHH! OH, MY F*CKING D*CK! OH, WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?! OH MY GOD! Oh my god! Oh my god, oh god, oh god! I think I'm bleeding... Oh my god! Oh!.. OHHH! (Keeps groaning.)**

**Jotaro: *sigh* Good grief.**

"I should do that. I really need to start punching faster." Yang said.

"How many are left?" Weiss said.

"There are enough left." Nova said.

**Cell vs DIO Part 1**

**[Intro]**

**Kermit: So you're just gonna give up.**

**Cell: Are you kidding me? Look around, all right? We're in the middle of nowhere! It's like 2 o'clock in the morning, not to mention, that it's freezing.**

**Kermit: I mean if we're cold, we could always... you know... hold each other.**

**Cell: O_O**

They laughed a little.

"Is he coming out of his shell?" Yang said.

"Not funny." Blake said.

**Cell: Alright, first off, no. Second, if I were to hug you, I'd be arrested for shanking you with my nipples.**

"That's weird. I didn't need to hear that." Weiss said.

"He doesn't even have nipples. He didn't even have a dick." Blake said.

**Kermit: Okay so, I understand that was a cold joke, but you have no nipples.**

**Cell: I know, Kermit! My point is that I do not want to hug! I'd rather embrace death at this point.**

**DIO: Oh? Perhaps I could help.**

"Why does he speak Japanese? He's British. Jotaro was speaking English."

"He's memable, I guess." Yang said.

**Cell: What the?!**

**DIO: You seem lost, cold and hungry... What a coincidence... So am I...**

"Mmm... Muppet blood." Ruby said.

"Really, what would happen if DIO drank Cell's blood?"

"He'd probably become a lot stronger." Weiss said.

**Kermit: Does he realise that we don't have food?**

**Cell: Kermit, I think he means that we are the food.**

**Kermit: YOU MONSTER! Like hell we'll let you eat us!**

**DIO: *bitch please in Japanese* THE WORLD!**

They laughed a little.

"Bitch please, pretty much." Yang said.

**(Time stops. When it resumes, Kermit is no longer there.)**

"Kermit?!" Ruby said.

**Cell: Wah!... Where did Kermit go?!**

**DIO: (more Japanese with no subtitles) (Time stops again. It then resumes.)**

**Cell: Woah! Kermit, you're back!**

**Kermit: Yes, I am! And my fucking legs are broken. Lit.**

They laughed.

**Cell: What the hell happened?**

**Kermit: I don't know. It must this guy's special powers.**

**DIO: (even more Japanese with no subtitles)**

**Cell: A stand? Hey, didn't we buy one off those on eBay?**

"I hear Roundabout." Yang said.

**Kermit: Oh yeah, we got the uh... stand arrow!**

**DIO: UGH!**

**Cell: Alright, let's even the odds then! Your stand, versus MINE! (Takes the arrow) HA HA!**

**DIO: (Japanese line)**

**Cell: Ha haaa, that's right! Right in the dick, baby! HERE WE GO! (He's going to stab his dick.)**

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

"Wait, what?!" Yang said. Everyone started laughing.

"He was about to stab his dick!" Blake said while laughing.

"Look at his face!"

"Put the next one, I want to see Cell's stand!" Ruby said.

**Cell vs DIO Part 2**

**[Intro]**

**DIO: I, DIO, am unbeatable! THE WORLD! (He summons [The World])**

**Cell: Behold, my stand! MOISTO FISTAHHH!**

"What the fuck?!" Weiss said and they all started laughing.

"What is that?!" Yang said while laughing.

**Kermit: [Moist Fister]? That's your stand name, what the fuck?**

"Eww, that's gross!" Weiss said. They rest couldn't stop laughing.

**Cell: Weren't your legs broken in the last episode?**

**Kermit: That's a dangerous question to be asking, Cell. The type of question that makes people go missing.**

**Cell: O_O**

"What?" Ruby said.

**Cell: Anyways-... Hey. Where that other guy go? (He looks up.) **

**DIO: ROADO ROLLA-DAAAAA! (It lands on Cell.) **

"Already?" Yang said.

**DIO: MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA! (Japanese victory screech) (The steam roller blows up. But it rewinds back before the fight.)**

"Huh? What happened?" Ruby said.

"The fight got back to the point when it started?" Blake said.

**DIO: (wtf in Japanese)**

**Cell: You're probably wondering what the hell just happened. Ha ha ha, well, you British buffoon!**

"I can't look at it with a serious face, what is that?!" Weiss said.

**Kermit: Hey, if he's British, why does he speak Japanese?**

**Cell: My stand-... why do you speak Japanese.**

**DIO: *shrugs***

**Cell: My stand can see into the future! I can see all possible outcomes of this fight and automatically create a counter to all of them! (DIO's eyes pop out from shock. Kermit is like "Wow!".) And what's more, I can reverse time to do so!**

"That's a very overpowered ability!" Yang said.

**Cell: Also my stand can create pizzas out of thin fucking air, JUST BECAUSE I CAN!**

**Kermit: Now that's cool.**

"This is stupid." Weiss said.

**Cell: Now behold... the power of my stando! (DIO looks up.) PIZZA PIE-DA! (A giant pizza falls on DIO.)**

**DRAMATIC FINISH!**

"This is dumb." Blake said while laughing a little.

"Do you think that there's someone out there with that ability?" Ruby said.

"There is a possibility." Weiss said.

"Alright, next video." Nova said.

**Cell vs Jotaro Part 2**

**[Intro]**

**Cell: Well, well, well! If it isn't bootleg Keanu Reeves! Back again in my arena, what a surprise.**

**Jotaro: Good grief.**

**Cell: What's wrong, big boy? You're lost? Well it's unfortunate that you found yourself here, because I haven't forgotten about that punch to the dick from last time.**

**Jotaro: If you can even call it that.**

"Oh shit!" Yang said.

**Cell: You dare? You dare?!**

**Jotaro: Let's get this over with. Star Platinum. (He summons Star Platinum.)**

**Cell: So that's your stand.**

**Jotaro: Ugh! You can see my stand?**

**Cell: That's right. Because now I also have a stand! BEHOLD, THE ULTIMATE STANDO POWAH! MOISTO FISTAHHH!**

"An epic stand fight!" Ruby said.

**Jotaro: Go, STAR PLATINUM!**

**Cell: MUDA, MUDA, MUDA! (The stands are in a rush clash.) IT'S OVER, JOTARO! MUDAAA! (Moist Fister is about to attack.)**

**Jotaro: Star Platinum, THE WORLD! (Time stops.)**

**SP: (punches Cell in the dick again) ORA!**

"Again?" Blake said.

**(Time resumes)**

**Cell: I wi- OH! (Falls down) YOU... CHEAP PIECE OF SHIT! My perfect nuts! My perfect balls! MY SMEE, OH HO HO HO HA HA HE HE HE OHHH... **

**Jotaro: Good grief.**

"Yeah, Jotaro wins again!" Yang said.

**Cell vs Joseph Joestar**

**[Intro]**

**Joseph: So you're the infamous Perfect Cell that I've heard so much about.**

"Yes! My boy, Joseph!"

**Cell: And you're that... duhh... Australian guy?**

**Joseph: I'm British.**

**Cell: Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're Australian.**

**Jeice: Say what, nah?!**

**Cell: Go away, Jeice!**

**Joseph: Ha. You think you know it all, don't you? Well, how about this? Your next line is, "Why are you erect, JoJo?".**

"Erect?" Weiss said.

**Cell: ... What the fuck? Why are you erect?**

"Why is he erect?!"

**Caesar: Is zis really necessary, monsieur Joseph?**

"Why does he have a French accent? He's Italian." Blake said.

**Cell: HOLY SHIT, IS HE FRENCH?!**

**Caesar: Wii. (Pulls out a Wii.)**

"Wow, comedy gold."

**(Cell is not amused and blows him up.)**

**Joseph: SHIIZAAAAAAAAA! (Cell is still not amused.)**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"Nooooo, why?!" Ruby said while laughing.

"The moment the song started playing!" Yang said while laughing. After they relaxed a little, they watched the next one.

**Cell vs Josuke**

**[Intro]**

**Josuke: Wait a minute... this isn't Morioh. I don't recognize this area.**

"How did he even get there?" Weiss said.

**Josuke: That must be the effect of an enemy stand.**

**Cell: I'm sorry, you seem to be a bit early to the Halloween party, don't you think boy?**

**Josuke: What the-?**

**Cell: Not gonna lie though. That wig won't win you any contest.**

"Oh no..." Yang said.

"Why is everyone insulting his hair?" Ruby said.

"Because his hairstyle is outdated? Weiss said.

"Yeah, but they're cool."

**Josuke: What did you say...?**

**Cell: Your hair! It sucks!**

**Josuke: I'LL TEACH YOU TO TALK SHIT ABOUT MY HAIR! (Crazy Diamond comes out to punch Cell, but he blocks it with Moist Fister.)**

"How come Joseph is your favourite and not Josuke?" Weiss said.

"Yeah, you both get angry when they say or do something to your hair." Blake said.

"Josuke is cool, but Joseph is funnier." Yang said.

"Josuke is my favourite." Ruby said.

**Cell: Well, well. Another stand user. Well, I haven't had to use my stand in a while. So this should make good practice. BEHOLD! MOISTO FISTAHHH! PREPARE TO FIGHT THE ULTIMATE ENEMY STANDOOOO!**

**Josuke: I don't have to fight him.**

"Huh?"

**Cell: What?**

**Josuke: I could just say the n-word and get your video demonetized instead!**

"Wait, Josuke, don't!". They all start laughing a little.

"Don't do it!" Yang said.

**Cell: Whoa, whoa hey, hold on now!**

**Josuke: I'M GONNA SAY THE N-WORD!**

"Josuke, no!" Ruby said.

**Cell: Josuke, please, wait, no STOP!**

**Josuke: NI-**

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

They couldn't stop laughing.

"Why, Josuke?!" Ruby said while laughing.

"I hate this meme." Blake sais while laughing. After they relaxed, they started the last one.

**Cell vs Kira Yoshikage**

**(Kritika: REBOOT sponsor)**

**[Intro] **

**KILLER QUEEN**

"Okay, that's new. Title cards." Yang said.

**(The video starts with Cell and Shallot drinking beer in a bar.)**

"Why Broly is the bartender?"

**Cell: So you gotta tell me, where the hell have you been, Shallot?**

**Shallot: I was kidnapped by a crazy girlfriend.**

**Cell: So that explains it. How bad it turned out?**

**Shallot: I escaped. Within an inch of my life.**

**Cell: Haha haa... Well, at least that's an extra inch in your life. Ha ha! 3 is the new 9, am I right? Ah? Ahh?**

"Shut up." Blake said.

**Kira: Good evening, gentlemen.**

**Cell: Look pal, were kinda not in a talking mood, do you mind?**

**Kira: Oh no, please. Don't mind me. I'm just stopping by for my occasional drink. By any chance, have you tried the wine at this location?**

**Cell: No. I don't drink wine.**

**Kira: And why not?**

**Cell: Cuz wine is for pussies and beer is what men drink? Try it sometime.**

"That's not true." Weiss said. 'But if I said that to my mother, she probably wouldn't stop.'

**Kira: Hmph. Perhaps coming here wasn't a good idea. I think I'm going to take my leave, gentlemen. But please, allow me to treat you for your drinks.(Pays for them.) Good day, gentlemen. (He leaves.)**

"They're dead." Yang said.

**Cell: What fucking weirdo walks into a bar, pays for random drinks and leaves?**

"A sociopathic murderer?" Weiss said.

**(Kira walks out, summons Killer Queen and detonates the bomb. The entire bar explodes.)**

"Can he make such big explosions?"

"Probably, but he didn't try. It wouldn't be helpful." Nova said.

"Why?" Ruby said.

"Because he wants a quiet life. An explosion like that would create questions and ruin his life." Blake said.

"Okay, I think that's enough of DevilArtemis." Nova said.

**And done! Like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!**


	80. Daitomodachi compilation 1

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 77:**** Daitomodachi compilation 1 (JoJo)**

"Okay, what's next in this JoJo Friday?" Weiss said.

"Have you seen the Phantom Blood in 5 minutes by teamfourstar?" Nova said.

"We did." Yang said.

"Nuts. Daitomodachi's videos?"

"Not yet."

"Cool."

**Pucci teaches theology**

**[Intro]**

**Pucci: And then lord DIO said to the heathen, "I don't know... how many loaves of bread have you eaten in your lifetime?" (orgasm) Gives me goosebumps every time. **

"Is he actually gay?" Ruby said.

"I honestly don't know."

"I don't want to sound mean-"

"But you will." Yang interrupted Weiss.

"Quiet. Shouldn't he be sounding more... you know... black?"

"Eh, you have to work with what you have." Nova said.

**Pucci: Does anyone have any questions? (A student raises her arm.) Yes, my child?**

**Student 1: Is killing a sin?**

**Pucci: Yes. Unless you're killing IN THE NAME OF DIO.**

"What kind of religion is that?" Blake said.

"Cults, islam, etc."

**Student 2: Is looking at porn a sin?**

**Pucci: Yes. Unless you are looking at porn of DIO.**

"Isn't that a bigger sin?" Weiss said.

"Yes. Unless it's DIO. I would sin for DIO. Would you?" Yang said.

"I would..." Blake said.

**Student 3: Is being gay a sin?**

**Pucci: Yes. Unless you're gay for... (gets horny) DIO-sama. (The bell rings.)**

"He's busting a big nut." Yang said.

**Pucci: Remember class. Your homework tonight is to brutally murder any members of the Joestar family.**

**Student 1: I'm beginning to think this guy... isn't a real theology teacher.**

**Student 2: Pfffft. I don't care. (Pulls out two swords.) I'M GETTIN' DAT A.**

They laughed a little.

"Weiss with every assignment."

"Ha ha. Very funny." Weiss said.

"Alright, next video." Nova said.

**JoJo's last talk with Stroheim**

**[Intro]**

**Kars: JoJo! You may keep the red stone of Aja for now, but it will soon be mine. Then I will achieve godhood! (He does a "I'm watching you" gesture, before he drives off.)**

"What? Why did... whatever." Weiss said.

"And that's the only line Takahata101 had."

"Too bad." Ruby said.

**Joseph: Well, I hope he doesn't get in a car accident.**

Yang started laughing.

**Lisa Lisa: Goddamnit, JoJo.**

**Stroheim: Vell, I'm heading off. I need to give my report to my superiors in Germany.**

**Joseph: Hold it there, mate. We need to have a little chat.**

**Stroheim: ... I'm not going to comfort you over the death of your Italian lover.**

They laughed a little.

"Why did he say that he's gay?" Ruby said.

"Ruby, look how he's dressed. Does he look straight?" Blake said.

"... Maybe...?"

**Joseph: I keep telling you that I'm not gay!**

**Stroheim: It's hard to take you seriously with your... midriff showing.**

"Exactly." Blake said.

**Joseph: Listen mate, I was hoping to convince you... to leave... Nazi Germany?**

**Stroheim: Here ve go again.**

**Joseph: Mate, I know you're a good gu- wait, no, you killed all those Mexicans a month ago. So, you're not really a good guy. You're... aw shit.**

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Yang said.

**Lisa Lisa: Have awesome hair?**

**Joseph: Yes! Your hair is awesome and it's a shame that it's attached to a bigoted Nazi.**

**Stroheim: I refuse! Nazi Germany has ze greatest military! Ze greatest medicine. And more importantly, ze greatest leader, in ZE VORLD!**

**Joseph: You do know that your leader is a junkie, has one testicle and was formerly an artist?**

"Really?" Ruby said.

**Stroheim: I'm having a hard time believing that from a cross dresser.**

"Burn." Yang said.

**Joseph: Lisa Lisa! He's making fun of the time I dressed up as a woman to sneak into his base!**

**Lisa Lisa: Stroheim, stop bullying my son.**

**Joseph: (flips the bird to Stroheim) Yeah! Wait, what?**

**Stroheim: I don't zee myself leaving anytime soon.**

**Joseph: Alright mate... You left me with no other choice.**

"Oh, are they going to fight?" Ruby said.

**Joseph: (cool slow-mo effects) And your next line will be: "I'm totally going to no longer serve Nazi Germany!"**

Weiss facepalms.

"What an idiot." she said.

**Stroheim: ... Do I look retarded to you?**

**Joseph: Yes.**

They laughed a little.

**Stroheim: By ze time zis is over, I vill continue to proudly serve mein fatherland! And it vill become ze greatest country in ze vorld!**

**[Time skip]**

**Joseph: And Stroheim was unable to fulfill his dream by dying at the battle of Stalingrad. The end!**

"Aww..." Ruby said.

"Why are you sad? This is a good thing." Nova said.

**Jotaro: ... Cool story, grandpa.**

"But it actually is a cool story." Blake said.

"Wait, what was that sign Kakyoin was holding?" Yang said.

**Joseph: (The plane falls down.) I'm trying to bond with you, you little shi- (The plane crashes.) Son of a bitch!**

"Can they go on a flight without crashing?" Weiss said while the two sister were laughing.

"No. Next video." Nova said.

**OH MY DIO!**

**[Intro]**

**(Oh my DIO! introduction)**

"A sitcom? Really?" Weiss said.

**JTVoice: Oh my DIO! was filmed in front of a live studio audience.**

**(DIO was reading the newspaper, when Giorno entered with an angry Josuke.)**

**Giorno: Hi dad. This is Josuke. He got suspended from school for beating up someone because he insulted his hair.**

"Ah, good times." Yang said.

**DIO: Shine on you Crazy Diamond! (canned laughter)**

Yang started laughing.

"Oh yeah, it's full of puns." Nova said and the rest groaned.

**Heckler: BOO! BOO! That joke was bad and you should feel bad! BOO! Boo!**

"Thank goodness hecklers exist." Weiss said.

"Shut up, it was good!" Yang said.

**Giorno: Hey dad, me and Josukee are hungry. Can you make us some sandwiches?**

**DIO: Sure. As long as it's not... **_**hamon **_**and cheese! (canned laughter)**

"This is amazing!" Yang said while laughing. Ruby was burying her face in her hands.

"(muffled) Why? Just why?" she said.

**Heckler: Oh my god, what the hell was that joke? It's like he got them from a Facebook post!**

**DIO: So what if I did?! (He covers quickly his mouth, shocked. The heckler was crossing his arms, grinning over his victory.)**

"Nothing can save him now." Blake said.

**Giorno: Uh, dad. Have you seen Josuke's mom? She's really hot despite her age.**

**DIO: Wow! She sounds like a real... **_**Killer Queen**_**! (canned laughter)**

Yang couldn't stop laughing.

"Why aren't you laughing? This is the best thing!" she said.

**Heckler: BOO! BOOOOOO! Kill yourselves! (DIO is getting angry.)**

**DIO: Hey kids. How about I... play some music? (Awkward silence)**

**Josuke: ... This isn't part of the script.**

**Giorno: Oh no...**

"Is he going to kill him?" Ruby said.

"He deserves it!"

**DIO: Hey Josuke. Want to know what's my favourite song?**

**Josuke: Uh... What's your favourite song... Mr Brando?**

**Giorno: Josuke, no!**

**DIO: The man who sold... ZA WARUDO! (He summons The World and stops time.)**

"Yes!"

"Did he have to say another pun?" Weiss said.

**(The World readies its punch and hits the heckler.)**

**DIO: (moan) That sound never gets old... (Time resumes. The woman sitting next to the heckler sees the giant hole in his chest and screams.)**

"Sounds about right." Blake said.

**CEO: Damn it, DIO! This is the ninth heckler that died during your recording this month. Explain yourself.**

"Ninth?" Ruby said.

"And they still keep him?" Weiss said.

**DIO: What? You all should be giving me a... **_**standing **_**ovation? (Evil laughter)**

Yang started laughing again.

"He had to say it..." Blake said.

**CEO: We're cancelling the show.**

**DIO: Ha.**

"About time!" Weiss said.

"Alright, next video." Nova said.

"I hope it has more puns." Yang said.

"I hope the opposite." Weiss said.

**Jotaro vs Yami**

**(Intro)**

**Yami: It's about time I got some new cards for my deck. Now, let's test them out in a duel.**

"Yu-Gi-Oh?" Ruby said.

**Yami: (Sees Jotaro) You there! Standing over there being all edgy and shit!**

**Jotaro: Ugh, good grief. What do you want?**

"That's the most fitting description I've heard." Blake said.

"Jotaro isn't only that." Yang said.

"He's rude." Weiss said.

"And he kinda acts like a jerk..." Ruby said.

"Well yeah, I didn't say that." Yang said.

**Yami: I can spot the dress code of a Duelist from a mile away.**

"If team JNPR were here, Nora would probably say that's racist." Ruby said.

**Yami: Come on, let's have a duel! You and I!**

**Jotaro: Is that what you call it? You want to duel me?**

"He's dead." Blake said.

**Yami: Of course! I'll even let you make the first move.**

**Jotaro: Alright.**

"Bad choice." Ruby said.

**Yami: But first, I'm gonna shuffle my cards just to-**

**Jotaro: Star Platinum! (He summons his Stand.)**

**Yami: I'm sorry, Star wha-**

**SC: ORA! ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA! OOORA! (Sends Yami hit a lamp post, knocking him out.)**

**Jotaro: Well that didn't last very long.**

"You almost killed him." Weiss said.

**Joseph: Hey Jotaro. I got you a Duel Monsters deck, so you can- OH MY GOD, JOTARO! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!**

**Jotaro: What are you getting mad about, gramps? He hsaid he wanted to duel.**

**Joseph: He was talking about the trading cards, you idiot! (He turns to Yami's unconscious body.) I am so sorry about what my grandson did to you. Take this card, tell them you know Joseph Joestar. The Speedwagon Foundation will take care of all your medical bills. Again, I am so sorry.**

**Yami: ... Uughh...**

They laughed a little.

**Joseph: Come on, Jotaro. We're getting out of here before you cause more trouble.**

**Jotaro: But gramps-**

**Joseph: I said lets move, Jotaro!**

**Jotaro: *sigh* Good grief.**

"Good video." Yang said.

"Okay, last video." Nova said.

**Speedwagon spreads the word of JoJo**

**(Amino ad)**

**(Intro)**

**Guy: I'm looking for a new anime series to watch and I've been recommended Black Clover... *sigh* Is this sound advice? (The doorbell rings. He opens the door and sees Speedwagon.)**

"Best waifu ever!"

**(The guy looks at the camera, having a "Really?" expression.)**

**Speedwagon: Hello my brother! Have you heard the good word of JoJo? And do you have five minutes to let Araki into your heart this fine day?**

"Really? A religion?" Weiss said.

"Where can I buy that book?" Yang said.

**Guy: My friend... I've been mentally preparing myself to wwtch JoJo for years.**

"No way..." Blake said.

**Guy: And I'm here to SAYYYYYYYYYYY... I'm not still ready. (Closes the door.)**

Weiss laughed a little.

"Okay, that got me." she said.

**(Speedwagon is angry now. He kicks the door opens and unleashes a JoJo meme blast at the guy.)**

**Guy: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

They laughed a little.

"Taste the JoJo!" Yang said.

"Okay, now what?" Ruby said.

**And done! I didn't like that chapter that much. Next up, more JoJo mems. Like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!**


	81. READ, BITCH!

**Hey everyone! This is an update. **

**1) If you're wondering for the next chapter, which I'm pretty sure you don't, it will be uploaded tomorrow or in the middle of July, because of exams. So be patient (like you even care).**

**2) About the reviews. Stop with the requests. I don't want requests now. Only opinions. I want to see your happiness, I want to see your disappointment, I WANT TO SEE YOUR RAGE! Also, don't be anonymous, okay? I don't reply in the next chapter. The moment you send it, I'll reply, that's how I do things. If you don't, I'll just remove it.**

**3) Nova Force. Exactly. Everyone's reading it here. Well stop. I NEED VIEWS. Go to either my DeviantArt (Just type Nova9k) or Wattpad (link at DeviantArt) and read it there, before I upload the reaction here, okay?! VIEWWWW-**

**4) Poll time! As you read in the last Christmas chapter, I made it a character replacement one. Well, I'll do more. Three more cartoons. And maybe a sitcom from my country. I want you to write in the reviews, which cartoons do you think I'll do. You better tell me your guesses, OR ELSE I'LL- [TOO MUCH PROFANITY]- YOUR MOTHER'S ASSHOLE!**

**Anyway, that's all. See you soon!**


	82. JoJo's Bizarre Meme Dubbing Adventures

**Hey, assholes. I don't see answers in the reviews. Well, since no one reads the black letters, I'll just do it. Don't start complaining about it when it happens.**

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 78: JoJo's Bizarre Meme Dubbing Adventure (10 & 11 by A Scrub For Hire)**

"Okay, what now?" Ruby said.

"... I don't know. Let's watch memes until I think of something." Nova said.

"Pick from Scrub. I haven't watched some yet." Yang said.

"Okay."

**First meme**

**Josuke: hey guys, josuke here. just a friendly reminder not to harass other people who dont like jojo or prefer other anime. it gives the fandom as a whole a bad repuation, and that isn't good. its ok for other people to have different opinions, please be respectful. Josuke Out! **_**DORA!**_

"That was nice." Ruby said.

"When will it be funny?" Blake said.

**Next meme**

**Josuke: You bastard! What the fuck did you say about my waifu?!**

**Next meme**

**Okuyasu: There are many things that need to be erased.**

"That's true." Weiss said.

**Next meme**

**Hot Pants: That's a bad idea. It's way too dangerous.**

**Johnny: There's nothing too dangerous for us!**

**Gyro: Yeah! And everything we do is a bad idea.**

"Yeah, that's what boys do." Yang said.

**Next meme**

**Kira: ****THIS IS SOMETHING I ENJOY.**

That surprised the girls, making them laugh a little.

"That was painful." Blake said.

"That always gets me." Ruby said while laughing a little.

**Next meme**

**Gyro: You better **_**Steel Ball Run **_**faster than my **_**Steel Ball Gun**_**!**

"I can probably outrun a bullet."

**Next meme**

**Terry: Are you okay? BUSTER WOLF!**

**Jotaro: So it's the same type of Stand as Star Platinum. Star Platinum: Buster Wolf!**

"I love that meme a lot." Yang said.

"Hey, do you think that there is someone whose semblance is copying other people's semblances?" Ruby said.

"There is one." Weiss said.

"Really?" Yang said.

"Yeah. We knew each other since we were younger. She was a total pain."

"And by pain you mean?"

"Imagine me when I first met you, but three times more annoying and five times more mean. I remember one time, it was at a party. The butler brought desserts. She broke his arm and stepped on his back because it had vanilla."

"Are you serious?!" Blake said.

"I'm 100% serious."

"What happened then?" Ruby said.

"The host was outrageous. But her father was... proud."

"Proud...?!" Blake said.

"Exactly. Her family has a history. Her grandfather was the former general. Now she's a top student at Atlas Academy."

"She is probably making everyone there her slaves." Yang said.

"There's no doubt about that."

**Next meme**

**We asked two Jojos what they think time is.**

**Jolyne: Time is the indefinite continued progress of existence and events that occur in an apparently irreversible succession from the past, through the present, to the future.**

**Jotaro: my bitch (chuckle).**

"At this point, what is time for them?"

**Next meme**

**Diavolo: Say it just works one more fuckin' time, you gang-star fuck!**

**Next meme**

**Giorno: Oh holy shit I am fucking fabulous.**

"He is fabulous." Yang said.

**Next meme**

**Diego: I told you, I'm doing great. I'm Gucci!**

**Next meme**

**GER: This is... requiem.**

**Jotaro: So it's the same type of Stand as Star Platinum.**

**Giorno: AH! (continues forever)**

"Goddamnit." Blake said. Yang started laughing.

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: You're going the right way... for an ass whoopin.**

**Next meme**

**Rohan: what the fuck is this?**

**Next meme**

**Crusaders: Go head and join da gang, since yo ass be actin like [The Fool].**

**Next meme**

**P4 Jotaro: Star Platinum! The World!**

**P3 Jotaro: So it's the same type of Stand as Star Platinum.**

**SP: ora?**

They laughed a little.

"This is stupid." Weiss said.

**Next meme**

**Joseph: Jotaro, hurry and pull it out!**

"What...?" Blake said.

"I don't get it." Ruby said.

"Better." Yang said.

**Next meme**

**Diego: The wound of your slit throat... is the line of the wretched world I was part of! HAAAAAA!**

**Valentine: Oh shit...**

**Next meme**

**Kira: uwu notices daddy's bulgie wulgie, nuzzles bulgie wulgie owo what's this? Getting harder? uwu uwu**

"What idiot posts that kind of stuff and thinks that people like it?" Weiss said.

**Next meme**

**Cioccolata: (laughs) There's nothing more fun than cursing people every day.**

"How about being nice to people?" Ruby said.

**Next meme**

**Jonathan: I think I'm gonna **_**breakdown**_**.**

**Next meme**

**Okuyasu: Not to get political or anything but what the fuck is oatmeal?**

They laughed a little.

"I hate this." Blake said.

**Next meme**

**Kakyoin: Even I can see through... all that bullshit that you're saying.**

**Next meme**

**Giorno (Haruno): This was pretty funny.**

**And Giorno lied...**

**Next meme**

**DIO: Watch JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Golden Wind on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim Toonami block. Only on Saturdays.**

**Next meme**

**Gyro: Dorya! If that's the case... Nyoho! I should give thanks to the corpse... Or maybe it was just chance... I'll finish this right here! Johnny! Pick up your 'left arm' there! I'll try finishing him off with another shot from this steel ball!**

"Why is he doing the manga? I get the memes, but why scenes?" Weiss said.

**Next meme**

**Banana Abbacchio: Banana Abbacchio Fact: Wait no Polpo that's not a banana no stop that's a gun wait no don't bite it *BANG*. Revolver Abbacchio out.**

**Next meme**

**What if we kissed at the burning ruins of the Joestar mansion?**

**Next meme**

**Giorno: ... The fuck y'all looking at?**

**Next meme**

**Spice Girl: Oh yes~! More daddy~! (Scrub breaks character)**

"Noooooo! Stoooop!" Ruby said, covering her ears and closing her eyes.

**Next meme**

**Okuyasu: Oi Josuke, I-**

**Josuke: Oi Okuyasu, shut the fuck up with this oi Josuke meme you little shit.**

**Okuyasu: (cries)**

**Next meme**

**Jonathan: Jonathan has expand dong.**

**Jonathan has small pee pee because of raging hormones and too much testosterone.**

**Jonathan's dick size doesn't matter because Erina and Speedwagon loved him for his noble and gentlemanly heart.**

"Big pee pee energy." Nova said.

**Next meme**

**Diego: Hello madam, I, Diego Brando, would like to see your ass.**

"Would you show your ass to Diego?"

"N-no!" Ruby said.

"No!" Weiss said.

"Yes- I mean no!" Blake said.

"Anything for Husbrando." Yang said.

**Next meme**

**Abbacchio: And the way Giorno talks to me and my gang is disrespectful.**

**Giorno: Hey, good morning Abbacchio.**

**Abbacchio: Shut the fuck up!**

They laughed a little.

**Next meme**

**Secco: I've been a bad boy, uwu, gimme spankies.**

**Next meme**

**Tsurugi: Look. The same jojokes that got reposted for the 1000th time. You can laugh now.**

**Yasuho(I think): Shut up you cringe ass nae nae baby.**

"What does that even mean?" Weiss said.

**Next meme**

**Mii Ghiaccio: Hahahahahahahahahahah, funny joke shut the fuck up.**

**Next meme**

**DIO: Oh? You're approaching me?**

**Jotaro: No, I am moving away from you.**

**DIO: I understand. Have a nice day.**

"I like these memes. There's nice." Ruby said.

**Next meme**

**Josuke: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure My Legs Are Breakable. (Sad Dora)**

**Next meme**

**Bucciarati: It's finally Friday!**

**King Crimson: ****Wrong, Bruno! It's already Saturday! To protect my identity, I eradicated JoJo Friday! This is the ability of my King Crimson!**

**Next meme**

**Josuke: Yeeted!**

**Okuyasu: Yote!**

**Josuke: Yeeted!**

**Okuyasu: Yote!**

**Jotaro: I just want to know who threw Koichi out the window. Good grief...**

"Who thinks I can yeet Weiss out the window?" Yang said.

"Huh?!" Weiss said.

"You can throw all of us out the window." Blake said.

"The real question is what sound will they do when they land." Nova said.

"Weiss would probably break." Yang said.

"Why would you start that kind of conversation?" Weiss said.

"Hey, I'm just trying to... _break the ice_! Eh? Get it?". The rest just facepalmed.

"I bet that Blake will land on her feet and Ruby on her face, making a squeaky sound." Nova said.

"Racist." Blake said.

"Do I look like a cartoon?" Ruby said.

"... Maybe?" Nova said.

"Why are you so mean...?"

**Next meme**

**Esidisi: Your attempt to exploit my anger is admirable, but I cannot be angered.**

**Next meme**

**Doppio: TURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR~! Moshi moshi, bossu. I am calling because I need to ask you if you are hearing this bullshit.**

**Next meme**

**Doppio: I finally convinced my friend to watch Jojo.**

**He didn't skip parts and actually liked it.**

**HE SKIPS THE FUCKING OP! **_***cough***_

"I like Doppio, he's a good boy."

**Next meme**

**Jolyne: An organism that can have sex with anything it encounters... I'm kinda jealous.**

'Me too...' Blake thought.

**Annasui: I'm**_** anything it encounters.**_

**Jolyne: OMG! Annasui, no!**

**Jotaro: Annasui, stay the fuck away from my daughter.**

**Next meme**

**Norisuke: Wh-... who's Joe? I've never heard that name before in my life... I don't know! I don't know anybody by that name! (Tamaki punches him)**

**Next meme**

**Diego: Yes, let me get straight to the point. Download Raid Shadow Legends-**

"Oh come on! Can we skip it?" Yang said.

**\- completely for free on the app store, and if you make an account using the referral link below, you'll get 50000 silver and one free epic hero as part of the new event.**

**Next meme**

**Diavolo: Remember me, motherfucker? How's it going? How's it hangin'? Did ya miss me, baby?**

**Next meme**

**DIO: Jotaro I lost the divorce trial! I lost Giorno and my house!**

"Aww..." Ruby said.

**Next meme**

**Irish (I think) DIO: It's 8 AM lads. Let's hit the pub. (Goes to a pub.)**

**Next meme**

**Kira: (plays Minecraft) Is there going to be a problem?**

**Next meme**

**Giorno: Cool Giorno Fact: You're never waking up again.**

**Next meme**

**Banana DIO: Banana Jotaro! My Stand, [BANANA WORLD], has the power to stop time!**

**Banana Jotaro: Nana nana daze. So it's the same type of Stand as [STAR BANANIUM].**

**Star Bananium: Ora!**

"What's with the banana memes? I don't get it." Weiss said.

**Next meme**

**E-boy Johnny: Nooo don't die Gyro your so sexy aha**

"Something I don't like and I don't get why they like, is that." Blake said.

"What?" Ruby said.

"E-boys." Nova said.

"Oh, those."

"Why do girls like them so much?"

"They are kinda annoying..."

"Kinda? More like very." Weiss said.

**Next meme**

**Johnny: My hole, get away. (Troll noises)**

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: Star Platinum saying "Ora".**

**SP: Ora.**

**Jotaro: Star Platinum saying "Hora" because it means time in Spanish and he is foreshadowing his time stopping ability.**

**SP: Ora?**

**Next meme**

**Jolyne: ****ROMEO O ROMEO, WHERE ARE THOU TONGUE O ROMEO?**

"Do they have to be so loud?" Blake said.

**Next meme**

**Gyro: Blanky mode, good night.**

"Aww, he's so cute." Ruby said.

**Next meme**

**Aku: (About Jotaro) But he hasn't even aged. I mean, like, at all. He just got another stupid hat. It looks like he'll be there forever.**

**Next meme**

**Dio: i think I will cause problems on purpose**

**Next meme**

**Our pink haired girls opinion on the number 4**

**Trish: Mista has severe tetraphobia, doing something as little as mentioning the number makes him paranoid and anxious. It's really weird.**

"Isn't that a bit too much? Okay, it's an unlucky number, but still." Yang said.

"That's what happens when you're superstitious." Blake said.

**Yasuho: Testicles.**

Everyone laughed.

"That came out of nowhere!" Yang said.

"I don't get it. Why testicles?" Weiss said.

"Josuke from part 8 has four." Nova said.

"Really?!"

**Next meme**

**Tusk: Your chumimeme just got stolen by **_**Chumi-me!**_

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: You've yare'd your last daze.**

**Next meme**

**DIO: THE WORLD! (Jotaro appears)**

**Jotaro: Dio? Why am I your Stand?**

**DIO: Because you are my world, bro.**

**Jotaro: Bro...**

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: Juice that makes Jotaro point at people whose smile should be protected. (Points at you)**

"Aww, my smile is precious." Ruby said.

"No sis, he was pointing at me." Yang said.

"I think we all know that he was pointing at me." Nova said.

**Next meme**

**Doppio: I finally finished the Millenial Puzzle! (Transforms)**

**Diavolo: It's time to send you to the Shadow Realm!**

**Next meme**

**Pucci: Why are you having sex? Find the Lord.**

**Next meme**

**Joseph: You. You are gay.**

**Next meme**

**Kira: Hello, Josefumi Kujo from Jojolion.**

**Josefumi: Hello, Kira Yoshikage from Jojolion.**

**Yugi (background): Now I use polymerization to fuse them together! (That makes a Josuke)**

**Josuke: Yay!**

"So he's a fusion?" Weiss said.

**Next meme**

**DIO: Your attempts are useless! Useless! You radiate such small dick energy for trying to pull such an all mighty huge dick energy like that, but you're not me, DIO. Everything you do will just make me reach a higher high and destroy you ultimately. MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA... MUDA! (Scrub loses it)**

**Next meme**

**Kira: This finger can turn any object, (Touches a baby) into a bomb. (The baby turns to Lisa Lisa.)**

**Next meme**

**Scrub: **_**Aaaaaaall myyyy favourite characters are deaaaad**_

_**Aaaaaaall myyyy favourite characters are deaaaad**_

"Not all of them. Only Jolyne and Jotaro." Yang said.

**Next meme**

**Yasuho: I wrote Josuke a letter telling him how I feel about him.**

**Rai: That's progress.**

**Yasuho: I tore it up and burned it!**

"That's still progress." Blake said.

**Rai: ... Still progress.**

**Next meme**

**Jolyne: Where's Annasui?**

**Weather: Doing stuff.**

**Jolyne: Don't like the sound of that. Where's Hermes?**

**Weather: Stopping Annasui from doing stuff.**

**Jolyne: FF?**

**Weather: Stopping Hermes so Annasui can do the stuff.**

**Jolyne: And you?**

**Weather: Distracting you so Annasui can do the stuff.**

**Next meme**

**Joseph: It's one of the most expensive wines. 3000 dollars.**

**Okuyasu: What kind is it?**

**Joseph: It's 4 PM.**

**Okuyasu understood absolutely nothing**

"Neither did we, what?" Yang said while laughing a little.

**Next meme**

**Suzy Q: Take off my bra.**

**Joseph: Okay.**

**Suzy Q: Take off my panties.**

**Joseph: Wow, okay.**

"I don't feel comfortable." Ruby said.

**Suzy Q: Now stop wearing my clothes, JoJo!**

They laughed a little.

"Why do boys always do that?" Weiss said.

**Next meme**

**Slav Kira: Cyka blyat, that man is not squat with his heels on the ground. He's no true Slav.**

**Next meme**

**Mikitaka: Damn, happy hour.**

**Next meme**

**Narancia: I'll fucking say it! Here we fucking go! Okay, ****boomer****!**

**Next meme**

**Okuyasu: How to spoon?! Dick hard on the butt?! Titty in my hand?! Kiss ya neck, hell yeah?! (Scrub loses it)**

"Wow, that's an old meme." Nova said.

**Next meme**

**What is the reason for the name of your Stand?**

**Jolyne: I was wrongly imprisoned on a prison that wich you can call a stone ocean as I am surrounded by stone, and to be able to save my father I must escape this prison, so my Stand is called Stone Free to figuratively break the stone ocean and escape it.**

**Annasui: It's Diver Down because I want to dive down into Jolyne.**

"Simp!" Yang said.

**Next meme**

**SP: Hey Jotaro, I got you some beer.**

**Jotaro: You're a curse. You're an evil spirit.**

**SP: You're gonna feel really fuckin silly when Grandpa gets here you ungrateful punk bitch, just you wait. Just you fuckin wait.**

**Jotaro: Oh, you.**

"That's Star Platinum!"

**Next meme**

**Fugo: You dumb fucking cretin, you fucking fool, absolute fucking buffoon, you bumbling idiot. Fuck you.**

**Next meme**

**Kira: What did you just...? Did you say an invalid opinion?**

**Next meme**

**(Didgeridoo DIO WRYING)**

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: (Jotaro puts water from a bottle in a glass) Water. (Drinks water.)**

"What was the point of that?" Weiss said.

**Next meme**

**Giorno: Don't care, didn't ask. Plus you do drugs.**

**Next meme**

**Bruno: Giorno, would you like some tea?**

"Not the piss again." Blake said.

**Giorno: Sure. (Sips) Hey Bruno.**

**Bruno: What is it, Giorno?**

**Giorno: Does this have caffeine in it?**

**Bruno: Uhhhh...**

**Giorno: Gold Experience! MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA! MUDA!**

"That's better."

**Next meme**

**Jolyne: Hey dad.**

**Jotaro: Hello Jolyne.**

**Jolyne: Are you back from the store yet?**

**Jotaro: Yeah. Feel like I forgot something though.**

**Jolyne: Yeah, you did. Me.**

**Jotaro: Fuck!**

They laughed a little.

**Next meme**

**Jonathan: Here, some choccy milk. Because your epic.**

"*gasp* I'm epic?" Ruby said.

**Next meme**

**Holly: I'm dying!**

**Jotaro: So it's the same type of Stand as Star Platinum. Oh fuck.**

"Stop it! I hate this meme." Blake said while laughing a little.

**Next meme**

**Diavolo: Uhm... what you got there?**

**Polnareff: A wheelchair?**

**Next meme**

**Polnareff: *French laugh*, you are making fun of my accent? I see. *French laugh*, you must stop yourself before you go too far into Polnareff territory.**

**Next meme  
**

**Steel Ball Run: Balls of Steel**

**Next meme**

**Johnny: I'm cold.**

**Gyro: I told you to bring more layers, but you didn't listen. And now I've got to make sure you don't freeze to death. And, how long have you cold, you should have said something sooner.**

"Gyro is a really good friend." Ruby said.

**Next meme**

**Ringo: Welcome... to the "True man's" world.**

**Next meme**

**Trista: Narurancia, you've got to use the Rasengan to defeat Pain!**

**Narurancia: I'll do my best, pervy Sage Trista! (Scrub loses it)**

**Fugora: Don't get hurt out there, Narurancia! I'll have to heal you then, which is fucking annoying. I gotta be useful somehow.**

"What did we just watched?" Yang said.

**Next meme**

**Pucci: C-MOON! Lemme ask you Jolyne, do you believe in GRAVITY?! Oh shit, the whole place is going sideways! I wish I had a pair of moon shoes to jump on to a new platform with.**

"Did he really tilted the entire world?" Weiss said.

"He changed the gravity."

**Next meme**

**Pucci: The almighty of the blue yeti.**

**Next meme**

**Bruno: You there! I want to thank you for always being there for me. Arrivederci.**

"Aww, thanks."

**Next meme**

**Bruno: What the fuck did I just unzip into?**

**Next meme**

**Banana Doppio: Banana Doppio advice: Don't skip leg day.**

**Next meme**

**DIO: (The World's leg cracked) Muda.**

**Next meme**

**Ghiaccio: So the boss' plan was for them to deliver Trish to him, so he can kill her... That plan "Bring Trish to kill her"... I get the "Kill Trish" part, I totally get it. 'Cause he wants to keep his identity a secret to protect himself no matter what. BUT WHY THE FUCK DOES HE NEED THEM TO BRING TRISH TO HIM? WHY COULDN'T HE JUST HAVE HER KILLED WHEN PERICOLO HAD HER?! IT'S SO STUPID! IT SERIOUSLY PISSES ME OFF! WHY HAVE SOME IDIOTS HE DOESN'T FULLY TRUST GUARDING HER? HUH? FUCK NO, YOU DUMB SHIT! YOU GET YOUR MOST TRUSTED ASSOCIATE KILL HER RIGHT AWAY! DUMB FUCK BOSS! YOU STUPID ASS MOTHERFUCKER! TELL ME! WHY DIDN'T PERICOLO KILL HER! HUH?! HE WOULD'VE TOTALLY DONE IT WITHOUT BETRAYING YOU! HE EVEN KILLED HIMSELF FOR YOU AFTER ALL!**

"... He does have a point." Weiss said.

"I guess he was too broken of a character to think properly." Blake said.

"Alright, next video." Nova said.

**First meme**

**Steely Dan: Jotaro, you fool! My Stand, The Lovers, just went into that girl's ear! He's heading for her brain now!**

**Jotaro: I don't even know that girl, moron!**

**SC: ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORAA!**

Yang started laughing.

"Oh that girl is dead." she said.

"Huh? How?" Weiss said.

"His stand goes inside other people. If someone hurts the user, the person the stand went into will also get hurt."

"Oh my god..."

**Next meme**

**Oh, that's a boner! *moan***

**Next meme**

**JOOOOOOOJO'S NUT! *moan***

**Next meme**

**Johnny: What are you trying to do...? I told you, there's no way I'm taking this off the boat. It's already impossible. NYOHOHO. Guess you've got no choice but to bug off.**

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: Jolyne...**

**Jolyne: What is it?**

**Jotaro: I've always... cherised you.**

"Aww, that's so sweet." Ruby said.

**Next meme**

**Pucci: aiyo jotaro, wanna listen to my mixtape?**

"Why do I feel like that's racist?" Weiss said.

**Jotaro: sure, pucci. damn that shit is bomb.**

**Pucci: i know, right?**

**Next meme**

**Stroheim: ****THERE ARE NO WORDS ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH THAT CAN DESCRIBE HOW SPECTACULARLY ERECT I AM!**

"His excitement made me go deaf." Blake said.

**Next meme**

**Annasui: If your girl has green hair, a cute smile and loves butterflies, that's not your girl, that's...**

**Jotaro: My daughter, you piece of shit! If you ever speak to her again, I'll break your fucking legs!**

**SC: ORA!**

That made them laugh a little.

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: You're getting an ass eating from yours truly.**

"What?". They all started laughing.

**Next meme**

**Diavolo & Abbacchio: Shut the fuck up, Giorno! Huh? (Look at each other, blushing.)**

**Next meme**

**What do you think about Limp Bizkit?**

**Jolyne: it was a very dangerous stand that almost killed my friend hermes.**

"And here comes the bad part." Yang said.

**Josuke: it is the name of a rock band, right?**

"Oh... nevermind."

"What were you thinking?" Blake said.

**Jotaro: yare yare... you mean that disgusting game where boys stand in a circle around a biscuit.?**

"Okay, he said it." Yang said.

"What is that game?" Ruby said.

"You don't want to find out."

"What's so disgusting about being around a biscuit?"

"Ruby, don't question further. By the way she said it, it's probably really disgusting." Weiss said.

"I think you mean soggy biscuit." Nova said.

"Oh yeah, soggy biscuit. Gross." Yang said.

"Even she finds it gross. That means it's very disgusting." Blake said.

**Jonathan: I'd rather eat a biscuit that just came out of the oven, thank you.**

**DIO: I, DIO, am sitting, because I cannot [STAND] your nonsense.**

**Next meme**

**Koichi: Giorno! Can I visit your treehouse?**

**Giorno: No.**

**Next meme**

**Walk into the club like:**

**Joseph: **_**I brought tequila. Will you boys let me by?**_

**Next meme**

**Kira: I am the bomb of the universe. I'm the answer to all living hands that cry out for peace. I am the destroyer of the innocent. I am the fuse in the darkness. I am Kira. Ally to bad and Yoshikage to you.**

"Huh?" Ruby said.

"He's a Super Saiyan." Nova said.

"Oh."

**Next meme**

**Josuke: I hope you stay around for a long time. I think I want you in my life forever!**

**Next meme**

**Godzilla: Jotaro... this trip was truly fun, wasn't it?**

**Jotaro: Godzilla...**

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: Ok, boomer.**

**Next meme**

**Giorno: Here, father. I made this for you.**

**DIO: (crying) It's so beautiful...!**

"Aww, so many memories. Remember, sis?" Yang said.

"I even made him a pencil case. So much glitter." Ruby said.

"My father didn't care at all." Weiss said.

"My mother was always telling to stop picking flowers from her garden." Blake said and everyone laughed.

**Next meme**

**DIO: Oh? You're approaching me?**

**Girl: You pissed me off, so I'm gonna end your virginity right here and now.**

**DIO: What?!**

They all laughed.

"Damnit, there are some funny ones in it."

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: Ok, boomer. (No) Yare Yare daze, jiji. (Yes**

**Next meme**

**Josuke: You! Yeah you! Look at me. Delet this or im gonna fix u so goddam hard that u will become uncooked spaghetti.**

**Next meme**

**Crusaders: Go head and join da gang since yo ass be actin like [The Fool]**

**Next meme**

**Josuke: Listen Koichi. Girls don't like guys who... skip parts.**

"If I find a part skipper, I'll punch him in the face." Yang said.

**Next meme**

**Josuke & Okuyasu: Share if you don't think!**

**Next meme**

**Gyro: Double tap to edit. Nyoho!**

"That's just lazy." Weiss said.

**Next meme**

**Giorno: What a great view... (He's watching Caesar's death)**

"Noooooooo! Come on, why?" Yang said.

**Next meme**

**Josuke: Man, my hair looks like shit today. The fuck did I say about my hair?! **

**CD: (punches Josuke) DORARARARA!**

They laughed a little.

"Even I wouldn't get so angry."

**Next meme**

**Johnny: (cries while holding a gun) I can't take it anymore, guys, seriously, I'm at my limit.**

**Next meme**

**Polnareff: I have figured out your weaknesses, Diavolo! Silver Chariot! Now you can't use Epitaph.**

"He needs his hair to use it?" Ruby said.

"No." Nova said.

**Next meme**

**Josuke: What the fuck kind of gay shit is above me?**

They laughed a little.

"Why was that funny?" Weiss said.

**Next meme**

**Abbacchio: If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Diavolo, Risotto and Giorno I would shoot Giorno twice.**

**Diavolo: Same.**

**Risotto: Yeah, I would too.**

**Giorno: Oh come on now!**

**Mista: (in the background) Where the hell is my gun?**

"Poor Giorno. He even drank your piss." Yang said.

"Stop!"

**Next meme**

**Avdol: Here's some seed, you funky little dudes.**

**Chicken: (chicken noise)**

**Next meme**

**Elvis: Ay! Giorno your alright To Me!**

**Giorno: Elvis?!**

**Next meme**

**Jolyne: Please, sir. Can you spare a chromo-Stone Ocean anime?**

**Next meme**

**P8 Josuke: Hey, Giorno. Can you pass the water? My shoes are thirsty.**

**Giorno: Sure, I can pass the- what?**

"What? Did he say that his shoes are thirsty?" Blake said.

**Next meme**

**Little Feet: Had it not been for the laws of this land I would've slaughtered you!**

**Next meme**

**Ghiaccio: GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY TIMELINE!**

**Next meme**

**Doofenshmirtz: It is time for the Tri-State area to learn about my new -inator! Za Warudo-inator! (Stops time)**

**Next meme**

**Gyro: Dinosaur fucker**

**Next meme**

**Valentine: Peasant scum.**

**Next meme**

**Mista: Boss**

**Giorno: Yes?**

**Mista: U got a letter.**

**Giorno: Lemme c. *gasp*!**

**Giorno Giovanna has a dream!**

"Yeah! Giorno is in Smash!" Ruby said.

**Next meme**

**Kira: Hohoho~. It certainly is a merry Christmas. Look at this festivity. Hohoho... I wonder what he's thinking? Maybe vision of sugar plums? Hohohohohoho... It's Christmas Eve!**

**Next meme**

**Abbacchio: Oh you've had sex? Yeah. Well I've had ENOUGH.**

**Next meme**

**P3 Jotaro: **_**Yare yare daze**_

**P6 Jotaro: **_**Yare yare daze**_

**P5 Jotaro: **_**Yare yare daze**_

**P4 Jotaro: **_**Yare yare daze**_

**Next meme**

**Kakyoin: Fanta (No). Hiero-fant Green (Yes).**

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: Yeah, I have a time-based Stand. Every time you open your mouth I need to tell you to shut the fuck up.**

**Next meme**

**Narancia: Bro, shut the fuck up, I'm studying for my prostate exam.**

They all laughed.

"Where does he find all those memes?" Yang said.

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: You, yes you. Thank you for being truly reliable.**

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: i dont have uno so fuck off**

"Oh, I love that meme."

**DIO: everyone has uno dipshit it came free with your fucking stand**

**Next meme**

**Josuke: ****SHUTCHYO STUPID ASS UP.**

**Next meme**

**Ah, yes. My favourite Stardust Crusaders. Joot, Kaak, Joos, Avvd, Pool and Iggy.**

They laughed a little.

"Joot." Ruby daid while giggling.

**Next meme**

**Ah, yes. The Duwang Gang. Joot 2: Time stopping boogaloo, Joos Jr, Okku, Kooi and who could forget Ratboy.**

"Ratboy?" Blake said.

**Next meme**

**Ah, yes. My favourite members of team Bucciarati. Giio, Buuc, Naar, Fuug, Miis and ABBA.**

**Next meme**

**Ah, yes. The Stone Ocean crew. Jool: Joot's spawn, Heer, Foof, Anna, Emmp, Weea and last but not least, Joot 4: Divorce remorse.**

**Next meme**

**Jolyne: Damn bro I must've been attacked by Jailhouse Lock cause I don't remember asking you shit.**

**Next meme**

**Squalo: shareef didnt fucking like THAT one**

**Next meme**

**Tusk: Move your fucking leg! Move ur leg! Move ur fucking leg bitch!**

**Next meme**

**P6 Jotaro: Hello everyone. I'm here to tell you merry Christm-**

**P3 Jotaro: But it's not Christmas yet.**

**P6: ...**

**P3: ...**

**Both SCs: ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA-!**

**Next meme**

**DIO: Oh? Are you approaching me?**

**Jotaro: I can't give you my wish list without getting closer.**

**DIO: Ho ho! Then come as close as you like.**

**Jotaro: I want dolphin, I waaaant...**

They laughed a little.

**Next meme**

**Mista: Seriously? This took a sudden turn for the awesome.**

**Next meme**

**DIO: Ho ho! Dio Brando here wishing you and your family a merry Christmas! I hope you don't forget to be thankful about your blessings and also don't forget that the true meaning of Christmas is giving and spread happiness to the ZA WARUDO! Dio Brando out...**

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: Do you think my ex-wife can see me hiding behind all these people?**

"Yes." Yang said.

**Next meme**

**Illuso: Hey, is there a kink for-**

**Melone: If you ask me about horny shit ever again, I'm going to tie your pigtails to my motorcycle and drag you around like a piece of plastic, you couch looking, yee yee ass motherfucker!**

**Next meme**

**Gyro: Tell him merry Christmas Johnny.**

**Johnny: Tell him yourself.**

**Gyro: Merry Christmas asshole! Happy holidays to your horse!**

**Next meme**

**Joseph: It's finally Christmas.**

**Polnareff: Yes... finally here...**

**Jotaro: Christmas...**

"There are a lot of Christmas related memes." Weiss said.

"And that video came out yesterday." Yang said.

**Next meme**

**Abbacchio: Man that's crazy. Let me use my Moody Blues to find out who asked.**

**Next meme**

**Meatwad: I'm trying to ruin my career. I'm Meatwadmed Avdol! I've got Magician's Red! No motherfucker's gonna stop me!**

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: What's a good response to someone stabbing you with a knife?**

"Huh? What kind of stupid question is that?" Weiss said.

**Koichi: That hurt.**

They laughed a little.

**Josuke: Rude!**

**Okuyasu: That's fair.**

**Rohan: Not again!**

**Mikitaka: Are you going to want this back or can I keep it?**

They all laughed.

"Mikitaka is the best." Ruby said.

**Next meme**

**DIO: **_**It would seem that you BITCHES have come to a standstill in T. Darby's gamer room! You have 30 seconds before I fight you myself, you Hot Topic teen, you old man and you gamer teen! You have done nothing but destroyed my life, I hope you all die!**_

"Real Time Fandubs really left an impact." Blake said.

**Next meme**

**Giorno: Hey, Bucciarati.**

**Bucciarati: What is it, Giorno?**

**Giorno: **_**Fighting Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo- **_**(Bucciarati: Very fascinating Giorno, yes.) **_**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo- **_**(Bucciarati: You can stop anytime you want, Giorno.) **_**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo- **_**Bucciarati: **_**Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooold.)**__**ooooooooooooooooooooold.**_

**Next meme**

**Joseph: Count Coochie.**

**Caesar: Joseph, shut (scrub can't hold it) the fuck up.**

**Next meme**

**My name is JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. I'm 33 years old.**

"Oh come on, not another copypasta!" Yang said.

**My manga was made in Japan and started on January 1st 1987, staring Jonathan Joestar, and I have an anime adaptation. I was a part of Weekly Shōnen Jump, but now a part of Ultra Jump. I don't release often, but still have a big following. My series involves vampires, sunlight magic, and later, personifications of one's life energy. It follows the descendants of the Joestar bloodline and each of their own adventures. Just like other series, the fight villains, but not all of them have big goals like destroying everything. I am told that I am mainly known for my weird poses. I'm trying to explain that I'm a well like series from both my manga and anime. I try to not have uninteresting stories or characters, that would cause me to not be as popular as I am. That is how I deal with my series and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to stop foing memeable things, some people would just stop caring about my series.**

"Well... it's not wrong." Blake said.

**Next meme**

**DIO: JoJo's Bizarre dong is my dong now. (evil laugh)**

They laughed a little.

**Next meme**

**Koichi: Tired of people walking all over me. This is how I'm fighting back.**

"Dressing as a small brick?" Weiss said.

"Uh, it's very painful, you know." Yang said.

**Next meme**

**Giorno: How about another joke, Diavolo? Ask me who Soe is.**

**Diavolo: What?! Where am I?! How did I get here?! Please get me out of-**

**Giorno: SOE CIETY! **_***BANG***_

They couldn't stop laughing.

"I was expecting it... but it was still funny!" Blake said while laughing.

**Next meme**

**Norisuke: So, Joshu... What're you up to this morning?**

**Joshu: I love "fish sausages".**

"Huh?"

**Joshu: It's a value pack I bought at the supermarket. It's got 2 extra sausages for just 286 yen. So... what do you think, dad?**

"Get laid." Yang said.

**Norisuke: (thinking) *sigh*, disappointment...**

**Next meme**

**Gyro: I'd say I'm pretty masculine, I like manly things like sports and meat and-... (Johnny enters) other men.**

**Next meme**

**Speedwagon: I guess I'm just too tough to cry.**

**Jonathan: Just today you were crying about snakes.**

**Speedwagon: They don't have any arms!**

**Next meme**

**What do the Jojos think about the draft?**

"Oh yeah! What is all that about World War III?" Weiss said.

"Well, Trump called for an airstrike on a Syrian General and people say that this will cause a new war. But I say that's bullshit. Nothing will happen. Even if it happens, no one would want to go. I believe in two weeks it'll be forgotten, like when the US army killed the leader of ISIS." Nova said.

"Two weeks?" Ruby said.

"Yeah. People will pay attention to other stuff like celebrities. Or probably Corona Virus. I bet it will get out of China and spread all stuff the world. Happy new year."

"That's a very good start." Blake said sarcastically.

**Jonathan: War is a scary situation but I will make that fear my own and stand on the side of justice!**

**Joseph: After World War II this medal had his food tequila, not to kill ya!**

**Jotaro: Yare yare, getting drafted before getting my marine biology degree is annoying!**

**P4 Josuke: Missing classes is cool, but I'm not changing my fucking hair!**

"That's what you care about?!" Weiss said.

**Giorno: One should exhaust all possible options before resorting to that.**

**Jolyne: I'm literally in prison. **

**Johnny: Can't walk but can make sure those terrorists don't either!**

**P8 Josuke: I legally do not exist.**

"Smart move." Yang said.

**Next meme**

**And what do we do when something goes wrong?**

"Panic?" Ruby said.

**Rohan: Add to cart.**

**Aya: Binge.**

**Koichi: Cry.**

**Hayato: Mood.**

**Yazamada: F in the chat.**

**Reimi: lol xd!**

**Yukako: Text my ex.**

**Josuke: Dye my hair.**

**Jotaro: Shoooots!**

**Keicho: Thank you.**

**Akira: Hoes mad!**

**Tonio: It's my horoscope.**

**Mikitaka: Bottle it up.**

**Kira: Leave the country.**

**Okuyasu: Fist fight God.**

"All those actions are terrible." Blake said.

**Next meme**

_**Hi, can I take your order?**_

**Jonathan: Hi, can I please get uh...**

**Joseph: Could I get uh...**

**Jotaro: Yeah, make me uh...**

**P4 Josuke: I would like uh...**

**Giorno: Could you make me uh...**

**Jolyne: Yes, I want uh...**

**Johnny: I'll have two number 9s, number 9 la-**

"It's not funny anymore." Weiss said.

**P8 Josuke: Huh?**

**Next meme**

**Pucci: Oh! What's this, a letter? Oh my goodness...**

**Enrico Pucci!**

**Pucci: Do you believe in gravity?**

"Boo! I wanted Shadow!" Ruby said.

**Next meme**

**Jotaro: Close your eyes, bro...**

**DIO: Okay, bro...**

"I'll only do it for you, Jotaro." Yang said.

**Jotaro: What do you see, bro?**

**DIO: Nothing, bro...**

**Jotaro: That's my life without you, bro...**

**DIO: B-bro...**

"*gasp* Did you hear that? His life is nothing without me!"

"Now, who's acting like a fangirl?" Weiss said.

"For him, I do!"

**Next meme**

**DIO: Oh? You're approaching me?**

**Jotaro: (japanese text)**

**DIO: What the fuck are you saying?**

They all laughed.

"Actually that a good question. How do they all understand each other?" Ruby said.

"They're all speaking English. I mean, in the part 4 movie, Jotaro speaks English when talking to Joseph." Nova said.

**Next meme**

**Giorno: Hey everyone, it's Giorno Giovanna- *coughs*! I wish you all merry- *coughs*! Fuuuuuuuuuck.**

**Next meme**

**Gyro: Have you-**

**Johnny: (screams)**

**Gyro: Stop screaming, it's me. Have you seen my teddy bear?**

"Wait, he has a teddy bear? How old is he?" Weiss said.

**Next meme**

**Ojiro: Uaah! K... Kira... -san!**

**Kira: This is a 'port'. Sasame Ojiro. You say you're a surfer, but is that a job? Are you a man of the sea? Or a man of the land? Which is it? Be decisive!**

"What's his problem?" Ruby said.

**Kira: That's something I just don't like.**

**Ojiro: I... I'm feeling kinda depressed... (gets punched in the face)**

**Kira: Shhh. I'll decide. Don't go near the coast...! I don't care if it's the roof of the Aoba castle ruins, if you can see the ocean, then it's a coast. You're a hindrance. Make yourself scarce!**

"Why is he so mean?"

**Next meme**

**Ghiaccio: NOOOOOOOOO!**

"Okay, I think we've seen enough memes. And I'm feeling hungry." Yang said.

"Let's go to the cafeteria and then I guess we come back." Blake said.

"I don't have anything to do." Nova said.

"Yeah! Pizza Wendesdays returned on Fridays now!" Ruby said.

**And done! Like, follow, leave a review, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!**


	83. AT4W - Diesel

**Hey everyone! Exams are over and so far I passed four of my classes and failed at Physics! Ain't that great?**

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 79:**** AT4W - Diesel #1**

After having their lunch, team RWBY was returning to their dorm. "Man, that pizza was good." Yang said.

"I know, right? It had stuffed crust! STUFFED CRUST!" Ruby said.

"Eh. It was okay." Blake said.

"And I thought I had a good taste in food." Weiss said.

"Good taste and rich taste are two different things."

"Then you haven't tried exquisite cuisine. One day I'll take us all to a fancy restaurant, with food made by the greatest chefs. What's better than that?"

"Home-made?" Ruby said.

"Well-"

"Grill?" Yang said.

"Grill?"

"Yeah. Grill. You should try it."

"She's not completely wrong. Mmm, grilled bream~..." Blake said. They finally reached their dorm and went inside.

"There you are, girls. Did you have a good meal?" Nova said.

"It was great. So, yave you thought what to put next?" Ruby said.

"Yeah, but unfortunately this will be the last for today."

"Aww..."

"Anyway, sit down and let's watch one of YouTube's oldest creators.". He then started the video.

**Linkara: Hello and welcome to Atop The Fourth Wall where bad comics burn.**

"Hey, it's one of the reviewers from Kickassia!" Ruby said.

"It's Linkara!" Yang said.

"You managed to watch Kickassia?" Nova said.

"They did. It's a stupid movie." Weiss said.

"But fun." Yang said.

**Linkara: sponsored review time again, but fortunately the next few reviews are going to be follow-ups to previous episodes, as per the 10th anniversary celebration of the show. It's just they're going to be kinda... weird follow-ups.**

"Wow, 10 years of reviewing comics." Ruby said.

"I still can't believe that people make a living out of this." Weiss said.

"Wait, if he's reviewing comics, then how is this about JoJo?" Blake said.

"Well, it's related to JoJo. You'll see." Nova said.

**Linkara: I was gonna be coy with this one for those who weren't aware of this comic's history, let you guess what it was, following up since it's not obvious from the title or this cover what it is. But since there's not much I can say to lead into it, well... I can just tell it all with one sentence. That sentence being "Holy crap, is that a mother-freaking JoJo reference?!".**

"How is that comic related to JoJo? It really doesn't seem like it does." Yang said.

**Linkara: Yes, lats year a sponsor had me cover the first four episodes of the 2012 anime adaptation of JoJo's Bizarre Adventures. I liked it fine, but I'm not really an anime guy, with a few exceptions, so I don't really seek it out. But of course I know a good chunk of my viewers are JoJo fans. They're also fans of pointing out when something is rugby and football. Though for the record until that point, I don't think I'd ever actually seen rugby in anything. I'm lucky that I've recognized that it looked similar to football. And I reviewed two NFL Super Pro issues.**

"So in rugby you also use your feet?" Ruby said.

"He means similar to American football." Nova said.

"Oh."

**Linkara: I also critiqued that Dio had survived his battle with Jonathan off-screen, despite seeming to burn up. But it was actually revealed in a post-credit scene. Fair enough there, just didn't expect post-credit scenes to be a thing in this series. I do admit my fault here. It's like I had left during the credits of a Marvel movie, it was foolish of me. But anyway, let's talk about Diesel, a.k.a this is a rip-off of JoJo's Bizarre Adventures. And no I don't mean a "while this was inspired by it" or "clearly they just had the same ideas". No, no... it's a rip-off.**

"Rip-off? But it looks way old. Like, 90s old. Was it that popular in the rest of the world?" Yang said?"

"No." Nova said.

**Linkara: But the weirdest thing about it, is that it's a rip-off from 1997. Bear in mind that while anime and manga were gaining traction by this point in America, it wasn't really as mainstream as it is now and JoJo wasn't wven on the radar back then among any anime sites I knew. I mean unless there was some sort of crossover with Inuyasha back then I don't know.**

"So the creator took advantage of it and made something very similar. I've seen that before." Blake said.

**Linkara: So, what's the story behind this? Well, this is all secondhand information, so it's possible this story is false, but apparently the writer, Joe Weltjens, got a hold of some fansub copies of the JoJo OVA series from 1993. He loved it so much he wanted to share the ideas in it, but back then, Antarctic Press wasn't exactly a big name in comics and wasn't going to land a deal to translate the manga and dubs for anime were for stuff like Pokémon or Sailor Moon, not this. So he just decided "Screw it. I'll just tell the story here in my comic.". Because you know, it's totally ok that you're stealing this, if you just want to share JoJo with the world, and thus we have today's comic. So let's dig into Diesel #1 and see how this plays out.**

"Well, it is wrong, but who knows. Maybe it's good." Ruby said.

**[10th anniversary intro]**

"That's a nice tune." Weiss said.

_**Welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn.**_

_**Linkara's gonna teach you all a lesson you won't learn.**_

_**Brodsky, you're not the smartest.**_

_**Liefeld, you're not an artist.**_

_**Anyone who's had a bad comic published, it could be your turn!**_

_**Linkara!**_

_**He is a man! Punch! Wears a purdy hat.**_

_**Linkara!**_

_**He has a magic gun; where'd he purchase that?**_

_**Linkara!**_

_**Coins, robots, Amazons and trucks.**_

_**Linkara!**_

_**This. Comic. Sucks.**_

_**Linkaraaaaaaaaa!**_

"That was an epic intro!" Ruby said.

**[Title card]**

**Linkara: I could have sworn a fan sent me a physical copy of this book but sadly I couldn't find it, so we only have this digital one on hand. I also have to apologize because if people expected a side-by-side comparison with the JoJo ark this rips off, that won't happen either. I did try to learn some more stuff to get ready for this review, apparently dealing with a villain named N'Doul, but I don't have the episodes that cover it nor that particular section of the manga. I did however have a fan donated copy of the first part of Stardust Crusaders, which gave me some grounding here, for the overall concepts that were being ripped off, so big thanks for that.**

"Was that Jotaro on the cover? He looked very different. In part 6 style." Yang said.

"Well, Araki can't draw with his older style." Nova said.

**Linkara: The cover is less than impressive. A logo that's made of rusting metal that's so big, it pushed the Antarctic Press logo below it. And then this blue dude punching at the reader. Oh good! And here I was worried that the cover might actually go a long way to give readers a better idea of what to expect inside, but that's okay! Just a generic looking, blue, 90s, muscle dudd punching at nothing.**

"Yeah, pretty much a manly cover." Blake said.

**Linkara: Also is it just me or does he look like one of those battle troll dolls? Anyway, we open on, surprisingly enough, a two-page spread of a mansion.**

"That's a new one." Ruby said.

**Linkara: I don't think I've ever seen a comic's first two pages be a two-page spread, so points for uniqueness.**

"The only thing it's probably unique about." Weiss said.

**Linkara: Although you lose all those points for what is essentially an establishing shot without any dialogue balloons in it. But hey, great integration of water in the fountain and the drawn artwork. Glad to know it wasn't just wasting time or anything. We soon see inside of the mansion as a man is eating dinner at a loooooong table.**

"Were you having dinner in that kind of table?" Ruby said.

"Yes, actually."

"How were you having a conversation if the table was that long?"

"Because we were sitting next to each other, idiot.". 'Like we had conversations.'

"Imagine what would it be like if they weren't. Like _HOW WAS YOUR DAY, DEAR?! WHAT?! I SAID-!_"

"Okay, we get it, you don't have to scream." Blake said to Yang.

**Linkara: Two bodyguards standing near the doorway. However they soon knocked out as the blue figure from the cover punches his way through the doors. **_**I SAID I'm selling GIRL SCOUT COOKIES door-to-DOOR! How MANY can I put you DOWN FOR?!**_

Ruby started giggling. " I would tell dad to buy everything from him!" she said.

"Wait, the blue guy's arm seemed like it phased through the wall in the previous panel and then it was hole."

**Linkara: The blue figure however fades into hiding behind this guy who just walks in and approaches figure of the table. Who glares back at him and does the hideously evil thing of... lowering his very tiny wineglass. Seriously, it even looks tiny when he puts it up to his face. What, are you supposed to drink the wine like shots? Is he just kinda sipping on it?**

They laughed a little.

**Linkara: We flashback to three months ago, outside the mansion, where we learn that the blond guy at the table was named mr. Botha.**

Yang started laughing. "No way!" she said.

"What? What's so funny?" Ruby said.

"It's Botha!"

"... OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." She then started laughing.

"I don't get it. Botha what?" Weiss said.

"Deez nutz! HA!" Nova said and started laughing.

"You've got to be kidding me..."

**Linkara: Man, I hate it when people call people "mr" with their first name. They should be calling him mr. Deeznutz.**

The two sisters laughed again.

**Linkara: He's talking with another guy, named mr. Evans, who says that his trip to the mansion was for nothing. (Evans:) **_**At least the evening wasn't a total loss. This is an incredible house. I only wish I could've seen it in a two-page spread. That would've made everything worthwhile! **_**As you may have noticed, for some bizarre reason, Joe Weltjens decided to have the word balloons in this flashback be transparent. The good news is that for most of it is fine. It's white text over a dark background, but in a few spots it's slightly trickier to read and it's still such a bizarre creative choice.**

"It could have been worse." Blake said.

**Linkara: It's not as bad as Marvel's complete lack of balloons in issue #3, but it's close to that level of dumb decisions. **

"What? Really? This isn't a comic it's like reading a 911 recorded phone call on the news! " Weiss said.

**Linkara: (Evans:) **_**I love the pool. You know, I always wanted one myself. What's the price for one of these, if you don't mind my asking? **_**(Botha:) **_**Mr. Evans, I know why you're here. And I'm not looking for a pool cleaner. **_**Aaaand so a bunch of wavy, blue wind lines come out of nowhere, no doubt summoned by Botha, and slice Evans in half, Darth Maul style! His bisected pieces fall into the pool! Oh jeez, well now you do need a new pool cleaner.**

"But why was he there? It's not explained." Ruby said.

"It will probably be explained later." Blake said.

"Or not." Weiss said.

**Linkara: We cut to a lakeside house in Great Britain, where that guy from the present, named Thomas, starts walking up the dock to the house, thinking to himself how he hasn't seen the owner of the house in a while, but wants to surprise her. However, he's met by another guy at the top of the stairs, with some kind of glowing, electric, blue dude, floating over him.**

"Is that supposed to be his stand? It looks like a cyborg warrior." Yang said.

**Linkara: (Guy:)**_** I sense you're a stand user friend, so don't move a muscle and identify yourself. Do it telepathically so you don't move any mouth muscles.**_

"Wait, they're called stands? They didn't even bother to call them something else?" Blake said.

"Yeah, they could have called them like..." Weiss said.

"Guardian angels?" Ruby said.

"Yeah. That's a good one." Yang said.

**Linkara: A stand user is lifted from JoJo. A stand is a spirit summoned by the user's own life energy. Kind of a representation of their innate fighting ability or psyche. When it appears it does so standing next to or near their user, hence the name "stand". Although I prefer the term "invader of personal space" myself.**

"Well, if it's part of you, then it's also the stand's personal space. It's not like it would reveal something." Blake said.

**Linkara: So yeah, the guy at the stairs demands to know who the guy is and prepares to use his stand to shock him, but May, the owner of the house, stops the two with her own stand, some kind of electric ninja.**

"That stand looks lame." Ruby said.

"Yeah, in comparison to the others, this design is... bland." Yang said.

**Linkara: (May:) **_**Damn it Joseph, I told you to take it easy! That's Thomas you're attacking! **_**Yeah Joseph! You know, this is why you aren't mentioned as much as the other Joseph of the Joestar family. Thomas says it's okay and greets her dog, named Chewbacca.**

"From Star Wars?" Ruby said.

**Linkara: Giving how JoJo tends to name people after singers amd whatnot, I'm surprised this didn't name every person here after a Star Wars character. May is upset with Thomas because he's been away for a while without contacting her, but is otherwise happy to see him, bringing him inside to meet three other stamd users who have come together. Alex Oliver, Thomas's childhood friend Azizi aaaaaaand Jet Lee. (Jet:) **_**H-h-how's it going?**_

"I feel like he's a special case." Weiss said.

"He's a real-life actor." Nova said.

"Really?! No way!" Ruby said.

**Linkara: It's really weird to see an actor's early work. Why have them brought together? Well it's because, as May reveals, her father is dead. Eh, I've heard qorse reasons for a party. Later that night she goes down to the dock to talk to Thomas. (May:) **_**I want to talk to you about Ryuo.**__**Did your Ryuo ever feel... you know... not so fresh?**_

They laughed a little.

"Well, I've heard worse words to say genitals." Yang said.

**Linkara: A caption helpfully informs us that Ryuo means dragon king. And the couldn't just say "dragon king". I mean if we don't just have random Japanese words in it, how are people gonna know this is a rip-off? Turns out that May's dad was mr. Evans from earlier and she gathered them all here to try and take down the killer. Thomas wants to go to it alone, but she knows he's too dangerous and powerful to try to do so without the others. The next morning, somwone out in the woods seems to dig a hole.**

"Is that supposed to be N'Doul? They're doing the N'Doul fight? Couldn't they think of something more original?"

**Linkara: He then raises his hand up, which has claws,... aaaaand stabs them right into his face, causing a massive gush of blood. When it got your nose goes horribly wrong.**

The girls cringed at that.

"Why would he do that?! Why did he stab his face?!" Weiss said.

"Maybe that's how he activates his stand?" Ruby said.

"So he uses blood instead of water." Yang said.

"Couldn't he find an animal and control its blood instead of his? He's in a forest." Weiss said.

**Linkara: Back to the house, the group gathers for breakfast minus Joseph, who's gone out on patrol. He steps into a puddle of blood... aaaaand the blood starts shlluping all on its own. At the house, Thomas hears something. **_**Row! Row! Row!**_

"That's a weird sound effect." Blake said.

**Linkara: My God... Now they're ripping off Gurren Lagann! They realise it's Chewbacca barking and they follow it, finding Joseph's body in a puddle of blood.**

"One of the main cast is dead already?" Ruby said.

"He doesn't seem like he's injured... it's a trap."

**Linkara: They don't sense any stand users around, but fortunately Joseph is alive. (May:) **_**Are you alright Joe? **_**(Joseph:) **_**Uhr... yeah fine. **_**(May:) **_**How can you be fine? You've lost a lot of blood. **_**(Joseph:) **_**What? No, I was just taking a nap in some V8. **_**What, this is based on a bizarre adventure, isn't it? No, the blood comes to life and forms into a point, proceeding to go in and slice Joseph's head off. Well... I don't think he's fine now!... And I definitely think he's lost a lot of blood.**

"It's way to early to kill someone from the main cast." Weiss said.

**Linkara: Thomas realises it's an enemy stand. They scatter and May steps on a twig, the stand going towards her and stabbing her through the stomach. She's still alive but she quickly realises that the stand locates someone through sound. (Thomas:) **_**Everybody, back to the house! Move away from the stand! It detects us through sound, so let me yell my instructions to you all!**_

"Wait a minute. There's something that bothers me. So that stand locates the enemy through sound." Blake said.

"Uh huh." Yang said.

"In the original was it similar?"

"It was water but it was working the same."

"And where were they?"

"In the desert- ohhhhh, I see what you mean."

"What?" Ruby said.

"The problem is that this is a forest. Where hundreds of sounds can be heard. This type of stand doesn't work in a noisy place." Blake said.

"So the author doesn't know what he's writing." Weiss said.

**Linkara: As they flee, the stand pursues, slicing up a bunch of trees, until tit finally reaches them and cuts of Alex's feet. Jet Lee summons his own stand, which appears to be some kind of... purple, robot thing with grappling hook fingers, and he uses it to swing over to Alex and carry him to safety. Azizi calls out the stand while summoning his own, which appears to make a mech suit that shoots fire out of its hands.**

"Why most of the stands look like robots?" Yang said.

**Linkara: Fortunately this works as the blood approaches but gets fried. The enemy stand user feels the burn from the fire and laments that he'll have to be more careful. How careful can you really be when you're already stabbing yourself in the face? The group heads to a nearby car so they can take their injured to a hospital. Thomas's saying he'll stay behind to try to deal with the stand user. **

"Like he would be able to get in that small car, if he wanted to." Weiss said.

**Linkara: Plus, let's face it, the car is a tiny Volkswagen Beetle convertible. It's not like there's a lot of room in there for five people.**

"And a dog. Don't forget the dog." Ruby said.

**Linkara: Thomas uses Chewbacca to try and track down the stand user. ****Unfortunately he just ends up leading him to a family of porks.**

They laughed a little.

"Does the dog have a stand?" Ruby asked with excitement.

**Linkara: He manages to locate the stand user, but said user has the power text overlays without thought balloons.**

"Yeah it's bad. Couldn't they make the text in bold?" Yang said.

**Linkara: Yeah, it's less successful here as the text seems to fade into the background in a few spots. Thomas tries to attack from the air with his stand but the enemy just brings the blood up to stab at them from there too.**

"Wait, how is that possible?" Blale said.

"What do you mean?" Ruby said.

"He was in the air. How did the enemy know exactly where to attack? There is no sound in the air! And I'm pretty sure the stand doesn't reach that high in the sky."

"You're right. They used the same tactic in the original. The stand attacked when Jotaro touched the ground." Yang said.

**Linkara: While Thomas and his stand try to get in closer, Chewbacca attacks.**

"Yeah! I hope his stand is cool!" Ruby said.

**Linkara: But the blood stand goes for the dog's neck. **

"CHEWY, NOOOOO!"

"You forgot that dogs die in JoJo, didn't you?" Yang said.

"Why...? WHYYYYYYYY?!"

**Linkara: CHEWY NOOOOO! Who will take care of Mala, Itchy and Lumpy now?! However, the distraction allows Thomas and his stand to getting close enough for a direct attack.**

"Yep, he got behind." Yang said.

**Linkara: The stand doing an "I AM A MAN!" punch to the stand user right in the face.**

The girls laughed a little.

"_I am a man!_" Ruby repeated.

**Linkara: Thomas wants to know who the hell this guy is and why he attacked, but before he says anything, the user is suddenly attacked from behind by another stand. This ninja lady with massive shoulder pads.**

"That's a stand?! That looks more like an person than a stand!" Weiss said.

"If she had different skin colour then she would loke more like a stand." Blake said.

**Linkara: And so our comic ends with Thomas exclaiming the name of the stand user. (Thomas:) **_**CHIBOT! **_**No, no, no, again your getting your anime wrong. It's Chobits. The user of the ninja lady is on the top of a branch in the trees.**

"How can the branch handle his weight and not fall? It's not very thick." Weiss said.

"Also why would a man have a female stand?" Nova said.

"Huh?" the girls said.

"Has anyone seen a guy with a female stand or the opposite?"

"... You're right. Why is the stand a female?" Yang said.

**Linkara: (Chibot:) **_**Hello Thomas. Sorry I can't explain. But if it's any consolation to you, you've passed the first test. You get a sticker with your A**__**+. **_**This comic sucks.**

They all laughed.

**Linkara: Having not read the arc this comic is based on, I couldn't say for certain how much of it is taken word for word, but I can imagine a lot of it frankly. It matches the imaginative style of JoJo's stands and the unique battle tactics they're in. If we take the story on its own though, it has a lot of problems primarily because it explains nothing. Why did May's dad have to die? What are the stands? Why do some stands look humanoid with robots and whatnot while others are more like sapient blood? Some of this stuff I know because I read some JoJo, but what's the excuse in this? Anyone who picked this thing up without knowing the JoJo connection would have been utterly confused. And while Joe Weltjens might have thought he'd have some kind of ongoing series for this, the truth is only this one shot is printed, so that's a bit of a bummer for the audience if they were interested in this.**

"I guess we know why." Blake said.

**Linkara: There's also not much individual personalities in the book, just lots of people expositing plot or very mild characterization. The artwork mostly fine, though the bizarre way they incorporated text without bubbles or captions was just awful. What made those sections specialist that they didn't use them? Oh but of course there is the most important facet of this thing. THEY RIPPED OFF JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURES TO MAKE IT! It's not the worst book but it's not good. And in the end it's an inferior bootleg of a much MUCH better series! Next time we continue the sponsored reviews with a look at the final parts of the Terra arc from the Teen Titans animated series. AKA when you have an official adaptation as opposed to just stealing something.**

"That was fun-" Ruby said.

**Linkara: Oh yeah, sure! Any similarity is purely coincidental guys! We believe ya!**

"... Okay." Yang said.

"And I think it's time for me to leave. I want to show the girls some Disney movies. Ahhh, when the masonic symbols were very obvious. Goodbye!" Nova said and then disappeared.

"...What did he mean by masonic?" Weiss said.

**And done! JoJo Friday is done, now we are going back to memes! Yeah boi! Anyway like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!**


	84. Nova Force EP5

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes, grammar mistakes and the N-WORD.**

**Chapter 80:**** Nova Force EP5**

It was a great morning (STOP!) at Nova's place. Team FRAL was getting ready to go to work. "Goodbye girls! I'll pick you up later!" Nova said.

"Bye!" the girls said as the walked through the portal that Nova created.

"Let's see what the kids are doing.". He snapped his fingers and disappeared. When he appeared in team RWBY's dorm, he noticed, besides that everyone was here, that they were all in deep thoughts. "Good morning kids... what are you thinking about?"

"Hey Nova." Ruby said. "We just witnessed something strange."

"Let me guess. Another Funimation voice actor sounds like one of your relatives again."

"Not this time." Jaune said. "You see, Nora started doing stuff from her list again. This time it was fortune teller."

"Okay..."

"I actually predicted the future!" Nora said.

"We don't know that." Pyrrha said.

"She had the idea to stick her finger in a power outlet." Ren said.

"And that's how I did it!" Nora said.

"Uh huh. And by the looks on your faces, they weren't good." Nova said.

"For the most of us." Blake said.

"What were they?"

"Mine was that I'll decide the fate of the world." Ruby said.

"Oh, like a hero prophecy."

"Mine was that I'll make great changes." Weiss said.

"Okay, that's not bad."

"Mine was that my life will be full of regrets." Blake said.

"Oh... that is kinda bad.."

"Mine was that I'll experience great fear." Yang said.

"Wow... so you'll probably be traumatized somehow. What about you?"

"Mine was that my unawareness will make me lose someone close." Jaune said.

"That's pretty dark...". 'It's pretty obvious who it will be.'

"Mine and Ren's was that we will get our happy ending." Nora said.

"That's nice. How did you predict your own future?"

"Oh, that's easy! I looked myself at a mirror!"

"Okay, and the last one?"

"Soon my fears will be my downfall." Pyrrha said.

"Of course the will."

"What?"

"Nothing! Anyway, who wants to watch the Nova Force?"

"If we have to forget what we heard then sure." Blake said.

"Wait, we haven't seen the last episode." Jaune said.

"Don't worry. You can see it now, while I do something else. I'm gonna go fuck with your headmaster. Have fun!" Nova said and left the dorm, this time using the door.

* * *

_LATER_

Nova was skipping in the hallways towards Ozpin's office while singing.

_"We're off to see the Wizard_

_The wonderful Wizard of Oz_

_We hear he is a whiz of a wiz_

_If ever a wiz there was_

_If ever, oh ever a wiz there was_

_The Wizard of Oz is one because_

_Because, because, because, because, becaaaaaaaaaause_

_Because of the wonderful things he does_

_We're off to see the Wizard_

_The wonderful Wizard of Oz!". *insert applause*. _"Thank you! Thank you!". At the time he finished the song, he reached the elevator. He entered and pushed the button. "This place has a lot of basements."

* * *

_MEANWHILE_

**(WARNING: N-WORD ALERT!)**

Ozpin was sitting in his office, doing nothing but paperwork and drinking coffee from his characteristic mug. There was silence in the office. Like, comically awkward silence. "Now I see why Glynda hates paperwork.". Then he heard the elevator making a sound. "Come in!"

"WHAT'S GOOD, NIGGA?!" Nova said making an entrance. _*insert applause*_

**(THAT'S RACIST!)**

"Mr Light. What a surprise."

"Don't call me mr. Especially since you're the closest one to my age. How are you doing, my fellow boomer?"

"I'm very busy at the moment, but to be honest, I'm not in the mood to do anything right now."

"I get you. No one wants to work on weekends."

"What do I owe your visit?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just bored and I came here to talk. And I have a couple of questions."

"Then why aren't you reading my mind instead of asking me?"

"Because asking is much more fun. You'll never know what emotions and answers you might get from someone."

"True. So, what do want to know?"

"First... have you found her new location? Salem's?"

"Unfortunately not. I actually haven't told anyone to search, because you know what would happen if they found out she's still alive."

"What about her minions?"

"They're in the city. There's a big possibility that they're even here in the school. Unfortunately, we don't know their identities. I believe that they came here as transfer students."

"Smart. You know, for someone who wants to destroy humanity, she's not good at her job. I mean, she had hundreds of years to think. She could've done something simple, like creating a virus."

"She doesn't want only to destroy humanity. She enjoys chaos. She wants to divide us, turn against each other. She wants us to destroy each other."

"Damn, that's evil. Anyway, enough about evil witches. Let's change the subject, like this planet's weird climate.". He then brings out a world map of Remnant out of nowhere and places it on the desk.

"I don't see anything weird about the climate."

"Look, most of the land is green, because there are not too many cities. Of course the northest continent is snowy because the sun doesn't look at it. And then I see that this big continent and this small part of that island is all desert. Why?"

"I see what you mean. I honestly never questioned that."

"I mean, shouldn't the land that's near the equator be a desert? The equator is supposed to be the place that looks straight at the sun, in result having a bigger temperature. But the land near it is all forest! How is that possible?"

"This is rather weird, but since there's no possible explanation, we just accepted it."

"Okay. Now something important."

"And the first questions weren't important?"

"Shut up. Anyway, does the academy have any extracurricular activities? Clubs? Sports?"

"I'm afraid not. Only normal schools do. We focus on training the youth and make them great huntsmen and huntressess. But it would be good for the kids."

"I get it that they're training to become warriors, but they're still kids. They are ready to sacrifice their life. You can at least do something to make them feel like they're a normal school, until they are ready."

"You are right. They should be having fun now that they can. But the Grimm won't let them do that. And I'm pretty sure that they're having fun with what they're doing."

"I know. But it's just wrong seeing a kid holding a gun. Another thing, does the academy have a student council?"

"There is a student council. But only third and four-years are allowed to become members."

"Smart move. One last thing. What would happen if all the Grimm were eradicated?"

"Excuse me?"

"What if one day all the monsters were dead?"

"I have questioned myself that a lot of times. And the conclusion would be good... and bad."

"And why both good and bad?"

"It would be good because the battle would stop and we would live a peaceful life. But the bad is that by fighting Grimm we're keeping the balance. If they were all dead, there would be no balance. Every huntsman and huntress would end up living in the streets, because they would be without a job."

"Do you think that if that happened, would the people bring the balance back?"

"Of course. We have survived for thousands of years fighting. Even if it takes a lot of time, I believe that we would be able to find a solution."

"That's the best answer I've ever heard so far."

* * *

_LATER_

Nova was walking back to the kids. "I'm back! How was the episode?" Nova said as he opened the door.

"Vomit Boy found his favourite character." Yang said.

"She's a shape-shifting alien! What could be better than that?" he said.

"And her backstory is surprisingly violent." Ren said.

"I almost threw up with the headless corpse..." Pyrrha said.

"She has a funny accent." Nora said.

"And the new outro is good."

"Glad you liked it." Nova said.

"Where were you while we were watching?" Blake said.

"I was with Oz, chatting. Also, in the future, there might be school clubs."

"Really? What kind of clubs?" Ruby said.

"About stuff you like. Like normal schools do."

"In the end you're going to make this place feel like a normal school." Weiss said."Okay, now let's watch episode 5."

**Dominance. Since ancient times, empires were fighting for land to assert their dominance. At least on Earth. In space... it's very much the same. Empires were fighting for parts of the space. Even now this happens. But there is only one empire that controls half the universe. The Dark Alliance, once consisted of four evil emperors, but the strongest of them betrayed them. They managed to imprison him, giving the opportunity to second class conquerors to gain a seat next to them. And it would be a matter of time, until they come to Earth. **

"I sense a future villain." Yang said.

**One of those conquerors, lord Asri of the 3rd quadrant, was soon going to Earth. Inside his spaceship, he and his soldiers were preparing themselves. "Men, we are arriving on Earth in two hours. Are you ready?" he said. He had green skin and a giant head. **

**"Yes, lord Asri!" the soldiers said. **

"What kind of name is Asri?" Weiss said.

"Oh, that's funny. You know how in other shows, character names are actually puns, right?"

"Like in JoJo with music." Yang said.

"And Dragon Ball with food." Jaune said.

"Exactly. Well here, they're using drugs." Nova said.

"Drugs? Then what does that name have to do with drugs?" Weiss said.

"I think it's aspirin."

"Eh, it's not that good." Yang said.

**"Lord Asri!" one of the ship's crew said. **

**"What is it?" **

**"Our sensors found four life forms with unbelievable power. I think we should change target." **

**"Don't you worry. Everything is under control. We are following the plan. I won't waste the chance to enter the Dark Alliance. Now go." **

**"Yes, my lord." **

**"Hmm... four strong life forms. What are these creatures?" **

**[Intro]**

_**Episode 5: The time has come! The Nova force is here! **_

"Why are the episode titles so big?" Ruby said.

"I'm pretty sure the creator is a weeb." Nova said.

**Now that the team was full, Stamatis told them that they will finally meet the Holy Counselor. "I can't believe that we'll meet a real godly entity! I mean, what are the odds?" Ellen said. **

**"Me too. It's like fiction and reality are the same thing." Shizuna said. **

**"And he taught you everything, Stamatis?" Amélie said. **

**"Most of it. The rest I learned from anime." Stamatis said. **

**"Really?" **

**"Yeah. I'm pretty sure that you also learned something from comics and anime." **

**"True." Shizuna said. **

"At this point who hasn't?" Yang said.

**"How will we go there?" Ellen said. **

**"All we need is the phrase." Stamatis said. He wanted to say something but he couldn't remember. There was an awkward silence. **

"Is he going to do something?" Jaune said.

**"Uhhh... are you going to do something or...?" **

**"Sorry, I forgot the phrase. Give me a minute."**

"Are you serious?" Weiss said.

**"(whisper) I'm starting to regret my decision." Shizuna said. **

They laughed a little.

**"I heard that!". He decided to call his number. "Hey, Holy Counselor! How's it going? *sigh* I forgot the phrase. Sorry, anyway we are ready. Okay, thanks." **

**"Are we..." **

**"Yeah, right now.". Then all of a sudden, a blinding light appeared. "There it is." **

**"Do we... walk towards it?" Shizuna said. Stamatis didn't answer and walked towards the light. Suddenly he disappeared. **

**"I think we got our answer." Ellen said. The girls walked towards the light and disappeared too. **

**They appeared in a giant, well-decorated hall. **

**"Wow!" Amélie said. "Where are we?" **

**"You're in my residence." an old man wearing a hooded robe said. "It's nice to finally meet you, girls." **

**"Are you...?" Shizuna said. **

**"Yes. I am the Holy Counselor." **

**"I can't believe that we are talking with a godly deity." **

**"Me too, even after three years." Stamatis said. **

**"And after three years you still don't remember the phrase." the counselor said. **

**"Sorry." **

**"I have so many questions. Like, why we have these powers? And their origins." Ellen said. **

**"Let me tell you. A long time ago, there was a man, who was the warrior of God Himself. He was the second strongest being in the universe. His power was all your powers together." the counselor said. **

**"This is amazing!" Amélie said. **

**"But what happened to him?" Shizuna said. **

**"It all started some time after Lucifer was casted out of Heaven. Out of his anger, he caused chaos on the world, becoming stronger by gathering negative energy from the negative emotions of the humans. The warrior fought him, but he wasn't strong enough. The only thing he could do was to imprison him in Hell. In the end, he was victorious, but that cost him his life. His powers though were saved. God had the idea to splitting the powers into four and he entrusted those powers to me, waiting for the right moment for the new warriors to rise. And you are these warriors." **

"Those are some great visuals." Ren said.

**"That's an incredible story."**

**"Actually, I wanted to ask you something, about all those demon attacks. They weren't sent by Satan, but by another demon. They're even calling her their queen. What's going on down there?" Stamatis said. **

**"You see, since that fight, Lucifer gave up on causing chaos. But, a week ago, three demons got tired of him. They devided that they should rule Hell. They killed Lucifer and took his his throne." the counselor said.**

**"ΤΙ?" **

**"WHAT?" **

**"****何****?" **

**"QUOI?" **

**"They killed Lucifer?!" Stamatis said. **

**"How is that possible?!" Amélie said. **

**"That's the sad truth. And they are way worse than him. The only ones who can defeat them, are you four. Are you up to it?" the counselor said. **

**"Of course we are. We are ready for everything they will send." Shizuna said. **

**"I'm happy to hear that. Now go and prepare for any threat that may come." **

**When they returned to Earth, they decided to settle their lives. First they had to find jobs, except for Ellen because of her fame. "I don't get it. Why can't we stay at the counselor's place?" Shizuna said. **

"Yeah, the place was nice." Ruby said.

**"There are plenty of reasons. And I'm probably one of them." Stamatis said. **

**"How?" **

**"Well..." **

"Oooo, flashback time!" Nora said.

_**FLASHBACK **_

**The Holy Conselor was going to Stamatis room to check on him. "Stamatis?". He opened the door and what he saw was unbelievable. "OH MY GOD! Stop masturbating so frequently! It's a sin!" **

**"(Offscreen)I can't help it! You don't know how it feels!" **

_**END OF FLASHBACK **_

They couldn't stop laughing.

"You don't know how it feels!" Blake said while laughing.

"I can't breathe!" Pyrrha said while laughing.

"That was a nice one!" Yang said while laughing.

**"You couldn't hold yourself?!" **

**"At least I don't have a body pillow!" **

**"Don't change the subject! Anyway, search for jobs." **

**"Okay, but I don't think that they will accept someone with an alien degree." **

"He has a degree? But he was training all that time." Weiss said.

**"You have a degree? But you were training for three years." **

**"In space it's different. They make you wear a info-transfer helmet. One use equals 6 years of university studies." Amélie said. **

"I wish we had that. Imagine, no classes." Ruby said.

"How does she know that? Doesn't she have amnesia?" Ren said.

"I think she remembers a few things." Nova said.

**"Exactly. I am a space agriculturist." Stamatis said. **

**"That's very interesting!" Shizuna said. **

"What is an agriculturist?" Ruby said.

"A scientist that studies plants. A plant "doctor"." Nova said.

**"I know. What's taking Ellen so long to come back?" **

**"Yeah, it's taking her a long time to go for groceries.". Then all of a sudden, Ellen came back with the groceries, closing the door quickly, breathing heavily. She was wearing a big coat, a hat and sunglasses, so that no one would recognise her. **

**"What happened? The disguise didn't work?" Stamatis said. **

**"It did work. But my fans are crazy. They recognised me by my voice!" **

**"Okay, this is getting annoying." **

**"I hope some day they treat me like a normal person and not like a celebrity." **

**"Did you buy a lottery ticket?" **

**"No, I was too busy running away." **

"But she's the fastest thing alive." Jaune said.

**"But, you're super fast. You could buy one and come back in a few seconds." Amélie said. **

**"*sigh*I'm bored. I hope an enemy appears." Shizuna said. **

**Meanwhile, someone not related to our the story was going home with a lottery ticket. "Oh boy, if I win, I'll be the luckiest man alive!". But it flew off of his hand because of the wind. "No, wait! Come back!". He ended up losing it. "Aww... I'm the unluckiest man alive.". But then he noticed a giant shafow covering him. He looked up and saw a giant spaceship in the sky. "What the..." **

"Didn't that happen to uncle Qrow once?" Ruby said.

"Oh yeah! A dog ate the ticket." Yang said.

**Back to our heroes, where Shizuna saw it from the window. "Uh, guys?" **

**"A giant spaceship!" Ellen said. **

**"An alien invasion! How is that possible?!" **

**"Eh hem." Amélie said, reminding them that she's also an alien. **

"Yeah, an alien is next to them."

**"Oh yeah, I forgot." **

**"Girls... let's go." Stamatis said. **

**Meanwhile, insise the spaceship, the crew was trying to land it without causing damage. "What is taking you so long to land?" Asri said. **

**"We are trying not to destroy any building my lord." one of the crew said. **

**"Whatever, just hurry up." **

**"Okay. Steady... steady...". They accidentaly crash into a building. "Oops." **

They laughed a little.

"I think the creator wants to make a cartoon more than an anime." Jaune said.

**"*sigh*" **

**"Sir, our sensors found the number of life forms decreasing really fast!" another said. **

**"Maybe because we killed them, probably?" **

**"And a life form with a high power level." **

**"What? I want footage. Now!". A giant screen shows a woman with blue hair carrying people out of the building at high speeds. "She's one of them. Quickly land this and send the soldiers!" **

"How did the people managento withstand her speed?" Ruby said?

**"Is everyone okay?" Ellen said and everybody nodded. "Great. Now leave the area, quickly!". Everyone ran away. The spaceship landed, destroying completely that building. By that time, eveeyine in the area left and the other three arrived. **

**"Did we lose anything?" Shizuna said. **

**"No, it just begun.". Out of the spaceship, an entire alien army came. The army stopped in front of the heroes. The army made way for their leader to pass. **

**"Greetings Earthlings. I am lord Asri of the 3rd quadrant. We come in peace." he said. **

**"Μπούρδες! You came to conquer our planet!" Stamatis said. **

"I was going to say bullshit." Yang said.

**"If you surrender, it will be peaceful." **

**"What is that language? Speak English!" Shizuna said. **

**"They are speaking Greek and they want to conquer our planet." Stamatis said. **

**"Greek?" **

**"Everyone in space speaks Greek." Amélie said. **

**"Why?" **

**"They wanted the universal language to be one that every being can speak and created by beings with culture. It goes back to ancient times." **

**"I'm pretty sure there were also other cultures too." Ellen said. **

**"But we had democracy and gender equality." Stamatis said. **

**"Good point." **

"Gender equality?" Ruby said.

"Well, Greece, especially Sparta, was the first place in the history of Earth to give rights to women. They were treated equally." Nova said. "So equal that when they did sports, they were also naked, along with the men."

"That's very- NAKED?!" Pyrrha said.

"What? You thought that ancient athletes were wearing clothes? Underwear weren't invented yet. Ugh... so many dicks."

"Please stop!" Weiss said.

**"I'm still here you know! And for your information, I also speak, what you call it, English." Asri said. "If you don't surrender, we will kill you and we will destroy the city." **

**"I'd like to see you try." Shizuna said. **

**"Okay.". He went behind the soldiers, and shouted: "Men, take aim!". The soldiers aimed at the heroes. They took their stances and got ready to fight. **

**"Stamatis?" Ellen said. **

**"Yes, Ellen?" Stamatis said. **

**"Can I take care of them?" **

**"And why by yourself?" **

**"Because, I'm the only one of the team that didn't beat the villain in an epic way. Besides... it's my city." **

"Oh boy, I'm so hyped!" Ruby said.

**"Okay then. They're all yours." **

**"Thanks." **

**"Ready, fi-". Before he could finish his sentence, Ellen appeared in front of him. It was like she teleported. "WHAT?!". Seconds later, all the soldiers fell unconscious. "How?!" **

"This will never get boring." Yang said.

"I wish I was that fast."

**"That was incredible!" Shizuna said. **

**"And now, it's your turn.". She went for a quick punch, but he avoided it, shocking her. "What?". She went for another one, but he avoided it too. She kept attacking but he kept avoiding her. "How can you keep up?" **

**"Like I would tell you." **

**"... You're reading my mind, aren't you?" **

**"What? H-how did you-" **

**"With that big-ass brain of yours? It was pretty obvious." **

"Racist!" Nora said.

"Also, would it matter if he can read her mind? Wouldn't she act faster anyway?" Pyrrha said.

**"Why you-! Well then, let me inform you that-" **

**"That you have telekenisis?". He didn't answer, but she saw him with a smirk on his face. "Oh no.". Using his ability, he lifted her up and pushed her away, sending her crash to a building. **

"Ouch." Jaune said.

**"ELLEN!" Stamatis yelled. Shizuna stopped him, before he does something. **

**"She said she got it. Don't interrupt her." she said. Then they saw her, walking out of the building, like nothing happened. **

**"Is that all you got?" she said. **

"Really, why did he shout? They all have the same strength, of course she wouldn't get hurt." Weiss said.

**"Why you-". Asri then got a hit in the face. "What?!". Then he got more hits. **

"Wait, what?" Ruby said.

**"If I move fast enough, you won't have the time to predict my movements. And your brain also won't be fast enough to process the information.". She kept attacking so fast that she looked like she was standing still. **

"How do the hits reach him?" Nora said.

"They're air pressure hits." Nova said.

_**BGM: M420 - Dragon Ball**_

**"And now to finish the fight. If you can call that.". Then Asri saw her multiplying and the copies surrounding him. **

**"What the-" **

"After-images?" Yang said.

"But she's walking, how is she...?" Weiss said.

"She seems like she's walking, but she's actually running." Ren said.

"She's literally the definition of speed." Jaune said.

**"After-images. Nice." Shizuna said. Then Ellen started attacking from every direction with high speeds. She ended her attack, with all the after-images, giving him a strong uppercut at the same time. When he landed, totally injured, she went close to him and touched his big head with her index and middle fingers like a gun.**

_**End of BGM**_

"All the images hit him at the exact same moment! She's so cool!" Ruby said.

**"I don't know about alien biology, but if I zap you, you'll probably die."**

**"He will!" Amélie said. **

**"Thanks! Anyway, I'm giving you one last chance. Leave and never come back! Or else... zap." **

"Even when she's merciful she's cool." Yang said.

**"Okay... we will leave." Asri said. With all the strength he had, he ran towards his spaceship, carrying his soldiers with his mind. **

**"That was awesome!" Stamatis said. **

**"Thanks. Also I heard you screaming my name. Were you worried about me?" Ellen said. **

**"Well... yeah." **

**"Aww, that's adorable. You didn't have to." she said, ruffling his hair and walking towards the rest. **

"Did he just got friendzoned?" Nora said.

**'Ωστέ έτσι είναι το friendzone.' **

They laughed a little.

**"Did you just friendzone him?" Shizuna said. **

**"Yeah, I owed him one." Ellen said. **

**"But you got to admit, he's kinda cute." **

**"Yeah, he is." **

"Aww, he looks so sad." Pyrrha said.

**"Love can be complicated. And I grew up in France." Amélie said. **

**"Shut up, Buu.". They saw the spaceship flying away, but it suddenly stopped. "Hey... why did they stop?". They saw giant laser cannos coming out of it. **

"He doesn't give up." Yang said.

**"He will blow up the city!" Shizuna said. **

_**INSIDE THE AIRSHIP**_

**"I won't let some inferior life forms humiliate me! I will blow them up, along with the city! Fire at full power!" Asri said. **

_**BACK TO THE HEROES**_

**"What are we gonna do now?" **

**"I got it." Stamatis said. He raised his hand, charging a energy sphere. He threw it at the spaceship, resulting in a massive explosion, leaving nothing by ashes. "Τέλος." he said, waving his hair. **

"... Did he just make a JoJo pose?"

"Well, I never saw a pose like that." Nova said.

"Then it's a Nova Force pose...?" Jaune said.

"Yeah, let's call it that."

"Yeah, let's forget the fact that he just killed them." Blake said.

_**MEANWHILE**_

**The three sisters, while not planning to cause chaos, they were seeing all the damned souls. One of them, was Asri and his army. "What are these ugly things?" Rhelnila said. **

"Wait, isn't every creature in the universe going to hell or heaven?"

"Different divisions...? I don't know." Nova said.

**"They're aliens, dumbass." Aezielle said. **

**"Aliens? How did they got here?" Pristia said. **

**"Curse those coloured hair life forms!" Asri said. **

**"Coloured? The warriors must have killed them." **

**"Hey, I got an idea. Why don't we collect negative energy, not only from humans, but from aliens too?" Aezielle said. **

**"Shut up, I'm thinking of an idea... Maybe we should start collecting negative energy from aliens too." **

"Wow, comedy." Blake said.

**"Great idea, sister!" Rhelnila said. **

"She can't be that stupid." Weiss said.

**"Wow, who would have thought of that?" Aezielle said sarcastically. **

They laughed a little.

_**BACK TO THE SURFACE**_

**"Now that it's over let's-.". Then a piece of paper hits Stamatis in the face. He saw that it was a lottery ticket. "Hey, a lottery ticket! The winner takes 100.000.000 dollars!"**

**"I think they'll tell the numbers in two hours." Ellen said.**

**"Alright, let's go home!" **

"And now that whole ticket thing makes sense."

**Later that day, the heroes were watching TV for the lottery numbers. And it turns out that they won. "We won... we won! ΝΙΚΗΣΑΜΕ!" Everyone was so excited. Stamatis left to take his prize. But then he returned to take Ellen with him to tell him where to go. **

They laughed a little.

**The first thing they did was to buy a mansion that would work as their base too. Except of that, they bought what they always wanted. Stamatis bought a Corvette,-**

"He has good taste in cars." Yang said.

**Ellen made a deal with DC Comics, Amélie bought a dog and Shizuna bought- "You hired a maid?" Stamatis said. **

**"You could say that. Meet Tomoko." Shizuna said. **

**"It's nice to meet you, Stamatis-sama". the maid said. She had short black hair, brown eyes and the most weird part- **

"What?! She's-"

**"Why does she have dog ears and a tail?" Stamatis said. **

"- a faunus?!" Blake said.

"I think the correct term is "demi-human"."

"She has and dog ears and a tail!" Nora said.

"But fa-"

"Demi-humans." Nova interrupted Blake.

"Whatever. Since they don't exist on Earth, how is she here?"

**"I bought her from a lab in Japan. She's the first of her kind." Shizuna said. **

"..."

"Yeah, she was born in a test tube..."

"Uh, Blake? Are you okay...?" Ruby said.

"You know what? I don't care anymore. I hope the episode ends soon." Blake said, a little upset.

**"What?! That is-" **

**"Wrong?" **

**"And gay." **

**"It's not gay." **

"It's kinda gay. I mean, only a pervert would buy a dog maid." Yang said.

**"But it's still wrong! It's like slavery!" **

**"Hey, it's not slavery if she lives to serve." **

"Woah, déjà vu. Doesn't that remind you of something? Or someone?" Blake said.

"... I regret saying that." Nova said.

**"But... but..." **

**"Anyway, Tomoko, can you go for groceries?" **

**"Of course, Shizuna-sama.". And with that the dog maid left.**

**"She will go out like this? People will find it weird!" Stamatis said. **

**"Relax, they will probably take them for accessories. What's the worst that could happen?" Shizuna said. Then they heard a car crash outside. "Uh oh." **

"She got ran over?!" Pyrrha said.

**"Was that her?!" **

**"Yeah, the bad thing is that she also had the brain of a dog." **

"I'm pretty sure a dog would be smart enough to cross the road safely." Ren said.

**"I'm pretty sure that a dog would cross the road safely." **

They laughed a little.

**"I'll gather the blood samples!" Amélie said, running outside. Stamatis just sighed. **

"Why does she need blood samples?" Ruby said.

"Is she going to clone her?" Jaune said.

"Well, she's a genius, of course she will." Nova said.

"I liked how happy she was to get the blood." Yang said.

**"So that's our life from now on." he said. **

"Even he can't stand their bullshit." Blake said.

_**TO BE CONTINUED...**_

**[Outro]**

"Aww, the robot dance part was cut." Nora said.

"Alright, who's ready for some memes?" Nova said.

"...". No one said anything.

"That's what I wanted to hear!"

* * *

**And done! You know, I recently found out that there's a third RWBY novel. The first one, called RWBY The Session. I read the description from the wiki, and I can tell that this book was a marketing mistake. And here's why:**

**1) It's Japan exclusive, which makes no sense because it's an American show.**

**2) It takes place between V1 and V2. Summer vacation... ON WINTER. I'm sure that whoever wrote this, doesn't know how semesters work.**

**3) WHO THE FUCK MAKES THE BEACH EPISODE A BOOK?! The beach episodes exist for two reasons! Fun time at the beach and swimsuits! It doesn't makes sense! Well, at least it's canon... It's not canon, right?**

**Anyways, like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!**


	85. SMG4 Anime Arc Part 1

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 81:**** The SMG4 Anime Arc - Part 1 (Mario and the anime challenge)**

"Please, not SMG4! His videos are... autism on crack!" Weiss said.

"Relax, the ones I showed you were old, meaning that they weren't that funny. But now it's different." Nova said.

"How different exactly?"

"They have a continuing plot!"

"... *gasp* It's the Anime Arc?!" Nora said.

"Exactly!"

"Yes!"

"Anime Arc?" Blake said.

"You'll see! It will surprise you and break your heart!" Nora said.

"You mean this has drama?" Jaune said.

"I have to see it to believe it." Weiss said.

"Okay, let's do it!" Nova said.

**[Meta Runner trailer]**

"I loved that episode." Ruby said.

**[Glitchy Productions intro]**

**(Mario sleeps outside the castle)**

"Why is he sleeping outside? Doesn't he have a house?" Weiss said.

**Mario: **_***snore***_** Nighty nighty.**_** *snore***_** Ahh, spaghetti.**

**(All of a sudden, comes Tari, running and screaming while Meggy is trying to shoot her with her paintball gun.)**

"Wait, Tari is in those videos? And she looks... cuter!" Yang said.

"Yeah! She's a different Tari but it's the same!" Nora said.

"Not only that, there's an Inkling too." Ruby said.

"What's an Inkling?" Blake said.

"A paint squid person." Yang said.

**(Tari hides behind Mario who then wakes up.)**

**Tari: AHHHH! Heelp!**

**Mario: Hmm...? Mamma-mi- (Sees Meggy over him, about to shoot them) *swedish scream* (BOOOOM!)**

They laughed a little.

**Meggy: C'mon, guys! It's not training if you don't shoot back at me!**

"She just blew them up." Blake said.

**Mario: (headless) But Mario wants to sleep! Eating spaghetti all day makes you tired!**

"What happened to his head?" Pyrrha said.

**Tari: Do we have to shoot AT each other? (Pulls out Duck Hunt for the NES) W-wouldn't it be more fun shooting at things in a game instead?**

**Meggy: I can't Tari. The Splatfest is coming in a month and I have to train!**

**(Mario tries to reattach his head, but it falls off.)**

**Mario: Ah, piss.**

**Tari: *sighs* Ok, ok. I'll help you, Meggy!**

**Bob: hEY WhaT's Up, B1THEs?**

**(Tari gets scared and shoots Bob with her paintball gun.)**

**Bob: H0lY f1SH st1ks!**

**Fishy Boopkins: Ah! Um, hey guys!**

**Tari: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!**

**Mario and Meggy: Nice shot!**

"It was a nice shot." Ruby said.

"Wait, Tari seems... waaay too nice in this. Like... "Pyrrha" nice, if she was a gamer and didn't know how to fight." Yang said.

"Huh?" Pyrrha said.

"Nothing."

**Meggy: Are you boys here to help me train too!?**

**Fishy Boopkins: Uhhh no, we're wondering if- AH! (Bob gets up and jumps on the castle's roof.)**

**Bob: We'Re HaViNg An AnImE bAtTlE tO sEe WhO cAn Be ThE mOsT aNiMe!**

**Meggy: *woomy sound***

**Mario and Tari: OOOOOOHHHHH!**

"The most anime?" Weiss said.

"I don't know why but... I feel my soul dying from cringe." Ren said.

**Fishy Boopkins: And that's why we want YOU to be the judge, Meggy!**

**(Meggy has anime cringe flashbacks.)**

They all laughed.

**Bob: sOUnDS lIke a Yes tO ME!**

**Meggy: ...sorry guys. We gotta go train!**

**Tari: Guys, can I be judge!?**

**Fishy Boopkins: Well, who's gonna be the judge now?**

**Tari: Ooh, ooh! PICK ME! PICK ME! (NOTICE ME, SENPAI! NOTICE MEEEEE!)**

**Bob: I dOn'T kNow, MaYbe ToaDSworth lIkes AniME.**

Weiss facepalmed.

"Who would want to be a judge for something like that?" she said.

**(Then a shadow appears over Bob.)**

**Bob: HuH?**

**Tari: Please let me judge!**

"JoJo pose, yeah!" Yang said.

**Bob: ThE wEeB iS STROnG wiTH tHiS oNe!**

**Fishy Boopkins: That's a great idea! You can be our judge, Tari! Let's go!**

**Mario: Hey! Mario wants to be Naruto too! Yeah! Hahaha! (He passes Meggy.)**

**Meggy: Guys, wait! What about the Splatfest!?**

**Mario: Uh, bye!**

"That's not nice!" Ruby said.

"What's a Splatfest?" Pyrrha said.

"Basically a paintball contest." Nova said.

**Meggy: *pouts***

**Challenge 1: Who can run like Naruto the fastest?**

"This is already stupid." Weiss said.

"But kinda exciting at the same time." Yang said.

**Tari: Alright! Ready? (Arms ready) Set! (The race starts)**

**Bob: gEt OuT oF ThE WaY b!tcEs!**

**Boopkins: I can't run like this! I've got stubby little arms!**

**Bob: i'M So DaMN fAst bOI! beTTer wAtch yoUR AsS!**

**Boopkins: Bob!? What are you doing!?**

**Bob: sHoWiNh oFf My SmExY nInJa SkIlLs! SECRET NINJA LEG JUTSU! (He trips Boopkins.)**

They laughed a little.

"Hey, he's cheating!" Ruby said.

"It's an anime competition. Nobody cares." Nova said.

**(Mario runs past Bob.)**

**Mario: I'm fast as f*ck, BOIIII!**

**Bob: Do yOU rEAllY wanT to ChaLLenGe Me, Mario?**

**Mario: [makes hand signals] I don't know about that one chief. (Creates three clones.)**

"Well this can't get more stupid, right?" Blake said.

**Bob: ImPResSive, NoW iT's My TuRN!. (makes hand signals) I dON't KnOW AboUT My BuTTCheek! (Creates four Bob the Builders.) Oh gODDAMMIT!**

"What?" Yang said.

"It's Bob the Builder, you won't get it." Nova said.

**Mario: Let's get 'em, fellas. (He sents the clones at Bob.)**

**Bob: weLL cRap. (They're blasting off to space.) tEAM bOB is BlAsting oFF AgAIN! (Mario crosses the finish line)**

"Wait, I'm confused, they actually have anime powers?" Ruby said.

"Ruby, does it matter?" Yang said.

**Tari: WOW! What an epic battle! Mario wins using a quick witted Shadow Clone Jutsu!**

**Mario: WHOOOO! Get f*cked, bitches!**

**Challenge 2: Who can do the best anime love confession?**

"Love confession?" Blake said.

"This might be funny."

**Tari: Wait... what are we doing!?**

**(Super smexy anime intro)**

**Fishy Boopkins: Senpai... it's not like I like you or anything, but I think you're cute! B-Baka! **

"This is so cringe... I don't want to watch anymore." Jaune said.

**Fishy Boopkins: So, what do you think?**

**Tari: ...yes.**

They laughed a little.

"She can't even describe it!" Yang said.

**Bob: ThAT's nOT hOw YoU pIcK Up cHicks! LeT mE ShOW yOU!**

**Tari: Uh... (Lights go out) Huh? Ummmm... (Bob is shown)**

**Bob: M'lady...**

Some of them laughed.

"He even has a fedora!"

**(Bob gets closer)**

**Tari: Uhh... hi Bob...**

**Bob: iN tHis MoMeNT... I aM EUphoric... NoT beCause oF aNY pHonY gOD's BLESSing... But BeCAuse, I am EnLiGHTened bY my InTELLigence...**

**Tari: ... What?**

"Exactly, wuh?" Ruby said.

**Bob: WHat I'm SaYING M'Lady... I CaN bE yOUr ANGel oR YouR DeViL. (The background collapses)**

Some of them laughed again.

"That was very deep." Pyrrha said.

"Angle." Nora said and giggled.

"Hey Blake... are you okay?" Ruby said.

"Huh...? I-I'm fine, why do you ask?" Blake said.

"..."

"What?!"

"Don't tell me that you liked that." Weiss said.

"What? Who... me? O-of course not, don't be stupid."

"Okay..."

'Damnit, that was deep.'

**Tari: Alright, guys, this challenge is making me uncomfortable- (turns around and sees Mario)**

**Mario: Ho ho! Hello! I love you!**

"Okay... that's kinda normal." Pyrrha said.

**Tari: Oh, thank God. Something normal for once...**

**Mario: And to really show you my feelings, I got you a present! I kidnapped Hideo Kojima! I know how much you like gaming crap!**

They laughed a little.

"Who's that?" Weiss said.

"He created the Metal Gear Solid series." Ruby said.

"... Am I supposed to know that?"

"It's gaming stuff, you don't know." Yang said.

**Tari: (facepalms) No one wins...**

**Challenge 3: Who can scream like Goku the best?**

**(Anime stand-off)**

**Mario: (screams)**

**Fishy Boopkins: (screams)**

**Bob: (text-to-speach scream)**

Some of them laughed.

"Text-to-speach always gets me." Ruby said.

**(A Goomba family passes by and sees them.)**

**Tari: I don't know these people...**

**Goomba mother: You kids don't look!**

**(Boopkins turns blue and passes out. Tari makes an X with her arms, signaling Boopkins lost the challenge.)**

"It makes you wonder, how can they scream for that long without needing a breath?" Nora said.

"Practice." Weiss said.

**(Meanwhile, Mario and Bob unlocked their powers and started floating. Debris are floating and Tari was like (O_O).)**

'Instead of training, we are watching this... I'm starting to question my decisions.' Weiss thought.

**(They keep screaming, but Mario's head explodes. Tari makes another X with her arms, signaling Mario lost the challenge. Bob in the end turns Super Saiyan 3.)**

**Bob: HeLL YeAH! b!TcHES!**

"And he turned Super Saiyan... what are we watching?" Jaune said.

"THANK YOU!"

**Tari: B-Bob... wins...**

**Bob: sUCk My NuTS! I aM ALL POWERFUL! nO oNE CaN DefEAT ME! (Shaggy turns his head 180° being like **_**u fokin wot m8?**_**) jUst kiDDing!**

Some of them laughed.

"You dare challenge god?" Nora said, dramatically.

**Challenge 4: Who can speak the best Japanese?**

"I hope this will be funny." Yang said.

**(They are all at a restaurant.)**

**Bob: I spEAK tHE BEst JaPaNesE! WatcH tHis!**

**Saiko: Apparently, I have to be here for this segment. What do you want?**

**Bob: WATASHI WAH BOB-U DESU ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! (Gets slapped by Saiko.)**

Now they all laughed.

"That was so sudden!" Pyrrha said.

**Bob: sHe DigS mE!**

**Mario: Oooo... let Mario try! (Turns to Saiko.) EERRRGGHH! KONICHIWA! 420 BURAZE IT (Gets smashed by Saiko's hammer. Right now she's very angry.)**

"What else did I expect?" Blake said.

**Fishy Boopkins: You guys, that's not how you do it! (Walks up to Saiko.) *Starts speaking like DIO* (Everyone was shocked.)**

"Freaking Koyasu..." Yang said, while laughing a little.

**Saiko: Why, my day has been good! Thanks for asking!**

"Japanese is a weird language." Nora said.

"Yes... yes, it is." Ren said.

**Tari: Wow... Boopkins wins!**

**Fishy Boopkins: Arigato, Tari-chan.**

**Challenge 5: Who can win an anime argument?**

**(At a table, Fishy Boopkins, wearing glasses, faces Tari.)**

**Fishy Boopkins: You must understand why I must win, Tari.**

"He even did the glasses thing." Yang said.

**Tari: Err... why?**

**Fishy Boopkins: Because I truly am one with the w33bs! (Laughs) (OBJECTION!) NANI?!**

**Bob: nOt iF I CAn hELp It B1tCH! TisK TisK B00pK1ns! Tari-Chan kNows tHat it Is I, bOb wHo Can Win AnY AnIME ArGUEment!**

**Fishy Boopkins: Ha-ha! Your anime knowledge is far less superior than mine!**

**Bob: Oh, yeAH? wELL I suMMOn mY TrAP CarD! IT cOUNters aNy ArgueMEnt B1tCH!**

**Fishy Boopkins: No! It can't be!**

**Bob: *Naga laugh***

"Is anyone actually laughing like that?" Ruby said.

'... Sapphire...' Weiss thought.

**Fishy Boopkins: I bet you can't summarize every One Piece episode!**

**Bob: TrY ME, BITcH!**

"This will take forever." Jaune said.

**Bob/Fishy Boopkins: tHere's a LaNKY -a$$ PiRaTe thAT EATs a pineAPPLe Or SoMeThInG, aNd-/The series focuses on Monkey D. Luffy, a young man, who, inspired by his childhood idol- **

"Can we pick a winner quickly?" Blake said.

**(Tari turns to Mario.)**

**Mario: ... Penis.**

"Looks like we have our winner." Nova said.

"Yep." Ruby said.

"Without a doubt." Yang said.

"Absolutely." Weiss said.

"Couldn't have said it better." Jaune said.

"He was spitting facts." Nora said.

**Tari: You know what, I think you win this one Mario.**

**Mario: Ho! I did it! I did it!**

**Final Challenge: Who would win in an anime battle?**

**(Mario, Bob, and Fishy Boopkins face each other in the most epic way)**

"Yeah! JoJo reference!" Yang said.

**Bob: (Laughs) (In Japanese) I'll kick your ass.**

**Mario: I don't speak Japanese. (Charges at Bob.) ATATATATATATATATATA- SUPER MARIO-**

**Bob: (Dodges Mario) Yeet!**

**Mario: Oh, no!**

**Bob: NoT gOOd eNOugh aSSHOle!**

"Is it me or is it actually good? I'm actually hyped." Ren said.

"It is good." Yang said.

**Fishy Boopkins: (Thinking) Now's my chance! (Charges at Bob) (Speaking) Ultra Shadow Kenkai Buster Technique! (Bob vanishes.) Huh? Where'd he go? Wha- (Bob appears behind Boopkins.)**

**Bob: NoThInG pErsoNNel, kId. (Spins with his swords out and attacks Boopkins, only to find a Pokémon toy replacing Boopkins.) Huh? NANI THE F*CK?!**

**Fishy Boopkins: AAAAAAAAH! (Flies at Bob and kicks him in the face, sending Bob flying into a nearby mushroom.) **

"Whoa! This is awesome!" Ruby said.

**Fishy Boopkins: Ha-ha! Take that! (Mario is behind Boopkins, gaining power.) Huh?**

**Mario: Time to die. Here we go! (Charges at Boopkins.)**

**Fishy Boopkins: (Thinking) Ah! He's too fast!**

**Mario: ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! (Throws fireballs at Boopkins, sending him flying into the same mushroom. He lands near Tari (who's wearing a helmet), defeated.)**

"Aww, he lost."

**Tari: Nice efforts! Woo...**

**Mario: It's-a me, God of Death!**

Some of them laughed a little.

**Bob: lOOks LikE I'lL hAve to UsE 2% oF my PowER! TiME To EnD ThiS!**

"He's gonna pull a gun?" Yang said.

"Uh, this is SMG4, not DevilArtemis!" Nora said.

"Get your YouTube right, honey!" Nova said. Then they high-fived.

**Mario: Oh, what are you gonna do now, big boy?**

**Bob: KAAAAAAAA...**

"It was about time." Jaune said.

**Mario: Wah!**

**Bob: ...MEEEEEEEE...**

**Tari: BOB! STOP! IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!**

**Bob: ...HAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEE...**

**Mario: Run, bitch! RUN!**

**Bob: HAAAAAA! (Fires a beam of energy, hitting Mario, a Lakitu, a house, Snake and the castle, destroying it!)**

They laughed a little.

"Snake! No!" Ruby said while giggling.

**(Peach walks out of the castle, singing. She turns around... and sees what happened. She turns and looks at Tari, Fishy Boopkins, Bob, and Mario, who's on fire.) **

"She's very scary..."

**Bob: uM... gOkU dId It.**

"So... who won?"

"Bob, obviously. Well, what's next?" Yang said.

"Something amazing." Nova said.

_(JoJo references: 36)_

**And done! Like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!**


	86. Super Mario Bros Z EP1

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 82: Super Mario Bros Z Episode 1 (New)**

"We're gonna watch what?" Weiss said.

"You heard me." Nova said.

"A sprite animation? That's... what is a sprite?"

"2D pixelated character frames." Ruby said.

"But why?!"

"I think I told you why. I said I'll show you what were kids on Earth doing when there was nothing on TV." Nova said.

"Is that such a big deal?" Pyrrha said.

"Look, I don't know what kind of childhood you had, but I'm pretty sure with all the fighting and probably that war there was, it didn't have that "magic"."

"Nah, it was alright." Yang said.

"Speak for yourself!" Nora said.

"For most of us."

"Have you tried living with my father?" Weiss said.

"My childhood was full of protests." Blake said.

"Okay, half of us."

"Actually... being a prodigy kid isn't the greatest life. There's a lot of training and deals with companies about sponsorships. Half of them producing stuff that are not good..." Pyrrha said.

"... The cereal are good." Jaune said.

"Seriously, how can you like that stuff?"

"What?"

"They taste awful! And-...". She got interrupted by her scroll, which was ringing. "Wait a minute. Hello?... Huh?!... But I-... I didn't say-... Let me explain-... Hello?". Whoever was calling her, he hung up.

"What happened?" Ruby said.

"The company that makes the Pumpkin Pete cereal. They somehow heard what I said and they ended the deal."

"How? Do they feel that someone's saying something negative?" Ren said.

"At least the day can't get any worse.". Then she got another call. "My mom? Hello?... What?!... How did you-... Please, let me ex-... I know, but-... I DON'T CARE!". Pyrrha ended the call.

"Now what?" Yang said.

"My mom found out about the deal."

"Okay, is everyone a psyche now?" Blake said.

"At least it can't-." Before she could finish her sentence, Nora shut her mouth.

"DON'T! If you finish that sentence, something bad _will_ happen!" she said.

"Like what?" Ruby said.

"Probably her mother will come and beat her with her slipper." Nova said and started laughing like crazy.

"... I don't get it."

"Oh, it's a Greek mom joke, you wouldn't understand. Anyway, back to our previous topic. Most of your childhoods suck."

"Really, only me, Rubes and Vomit Boy had nice childhoods?" Yang said.

"I would say only Jaune. I mean, you and Ruby lost two moms. I'd say it's normal, but not nice. The only difference was the cause wasn't a car accident or a serious illness, often being cancer."

"Did you have to remind us that?"

"You know what? I won't complain anymore. Show whatever you want." Weiss said.

"Huh?!" everyone said.

"Weiss, are you sick?" Ruby said.

"Quiet. I just realised that my childhood was... shitty, and I want to experience a good one..."

"Aww, Ice Queen has issues." Yang said.

"Shut up."

"Sweet! Weiss has officially joined the_ My Childhood Sucks _club!" Nora said, as she took Weiss in her hug.

"Okay, then. Super Mario Bros Z, it is!" Nova said and started the video.

**[Epic intro]**

"Wow, that was amazing!" Ruby said.

"I'm curious how long did it take him to make this? If it was only him, it probably took him months." Jaune said.

"How do Mario and Dragon Ball mix so well?" Yang said.

"Was that Metal Sonic?" Ruby said.

"I think that was a robot from the comics, so I don't know." Nova said.

**FIERCE BATTLE BETWEEN FIERCE RIVALS**

**(The video starts, showing a Goomba strolling through the Donut Plains. He then sees a blue gem on the ground.)**

**Goomba: Hmm? Wussat? Looks like some kind of shiny rock. Well... looks like nobody is around. I doubt anyone will mind if I took it.**

"Finders keepers." Yang said.

**Goomba: (takes the emerald)**

"How did he grab it without hands?" Nora said.

**Goomba: Thank my Lucky Ztars that I decided to take a stroll through the Donut Plains today! This thing will make the perfect gift for Goombella. She might even go on a date with me after I...**

"Don't say stuff like that." Blake said.

"Why not? He's just dreaming." Ruby said.

"That's also a death flag." Ren said.

**(The sky got dark.)**

**Goomba: Huh? What's going on? Is there a storm brewing? (Then something near and off-screen started flashing with electricity sounds.) By the great Goomba king! What is that?!**

"The one who will probably kill you." Yang said.

**(The flashing blue energy ball grew bigger. Then it turned into a giant ball of lightning, its force blowing the grass and bushes and creating sparks. From that ball, a silhouette appeared. The silhouette screamed as it released its power. After that, it was revealed that the silhouette was a robot hedgehog. The robot was scanning the area, until it found its target. The emerald. The robot walked towards the Goomba, making it tremble in fear.)**

**Metallix: **_**Give me the Chaos Emerald!**_

**Goomba: (shaking) Chaos Emerald? What's a Chaos Emerald?**

"That's a nice trembling effect." Weiss said.

**(The robot raised its hand and charged a blast.)**

**Goomba: NO! WAIT! STOP! (The robot launched the attack and the screen turned black.)**

"Our first death." Jaune said.

"I thought this was a nice, wholesome Mario and Sonic crossover! Why is it so dark?" Ruby said.

**(The screen lit up again. The camera leveled down to a crowd of cheering Toads. Then back to the sky, showing two Lakitus. Is Lakitu a name or a species? Whatever.)**

**Lakitu King: Greetings, Smash Fans! Welcome back to the first Mushroom Kingdom Smash Torunament! It's been a long road to the final and, hoo boy, do we have one heck of a match in store for you guys today!**

"I want to be in a Smash Tournament! Fighting so many video game characters!" Ruby said.

"That probably a good portion of them can kick your ass." Nova said.

"Don't ruin it!"

**Lakitu King: Two bitter rivals will clash head on in an all out, no holds barred slobberknocker in their bid to be crowned Smash Champion! I am your host, Lakitu King. And joining me today as guest announcer is the current reigning champ of the Glitz Pit. The feral nuclear reactor himself! Give it up for the one and the only, RAWK HAWK!**

**Rawk Hawk: FINALLY! THE HAWK HAS COME BACK TO THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!**

"Now that's a cool bird!"

"I like his mane." Yang said.

"What a surprise." Blake said.

"Aww, the cloud that holds him is struggling." Nora said.

**Rawk Hawk: AWWW YEEEEAAAHH! It's good to be back, King! I am so stoked for this match today!**

**Lakitu King: Indeed. Combatants from far and wide have all participated in this tournament. But only one will walk away as the champ. I can only imagine what our finalists have in store for us today.**

"Wait, if it's Smash Bros, why aren't there characters from other games?" Pyrrha said.

**Rawk Hawk: Harharhar! They should feel lucky that I chose not to enter the tournament, otherwise they would have been RAAAWWWWWKED! AWWWW YEAH! Ain't nobody that can beat me! I'M NUMBER ONE!**

"Is he like their Mr Satan, where he's all talk?" Jaune said.

"I don't know. I don't like RPGs." Nova said.

**Lakitu King: Ah, uh... sure thing, champ. Anyways, without further ado, let's introduce the finalists. (They all descend over the stage.) In this corner, also known as "Mr Video" and "Jumpman". It's everybody's favourite plumber. And the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. Make some noise for the one and only, MARIO! (The crowd cheers)**

**Mario: YAHOO!**

"Jumpman?" Weiss said.

"Mr Video?" Ruby said.

"Plumber?" Nora said.

**Lakitu King: And his opponent. The almighty alter-ego! The goliath of greed! The crooked 'stache crook! Give it up for WARIO! **

**Wario: WAHAHAHA! (The crowd boos at him, making him angry.)**

**Crowd: BOO, YOU STINK!**

They laughed a little.

**Rawk Hawk: Whoah, heheh! I've heard less boos in the Forever Forest Ghost House!**

**Lakitu King: Yes. It's quite obvious that Wario is the underdog of this competition. But don't count him out just yet. Of course, this tournament wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for our generous benefactor. So please, everybody give a big hand to our beloved PRINCESS PEACH! (The crowd cheers as she waved at them.) **

"Start the fight, already!"

**Lakitu King: Okay. We've kept you patient viewers waiting long enough. Let's get this final under way!**

**Mario: (Italian, I guess)**

**Luigi: Oh yeah!**

**Mario: (Jumps to the center of the arena) Let's-a go!**

**Wario: Need a lesson, loser? (Throws the weights away and flexes. The weights fall on Waluigi's foot. Waluigi pulls his foot out and hops while holding it in pain, as Wario walks towards Mario.)**

They laughed a little.

"That was kinda expected, but it was funny." Jaune said.

**3... 2... 1... GO!**

**Wario: WAHHHHHHH! (He charges at him with a shoulder tackle. Mario also runs at Wario. Wario gains speed. Mario stops and sticks his leg out, making Wario trip and fall. He gets up and runs at Mario. He tries to hit him, but Mario avoids the attacks and kicks him back. Wario gets up and pulls out... a toothbrush.)**

"A toothbrush?" Pyrrha said.

**(Wario brushes his teeth, gargles and spits. He shows his big, white and shiny dentition. He runs at Mario again and performs his neutral B.)**

"Yeah, that makes sense." Nora said.

**(Mario manages to get out of the way. He keeps avoiding his chomps with a little difficulty.)**

**Luigi: Eh? Mario! (Luigi shows to Mario a baseball bat next to him. Mario grabs the bat after avoiding another chomp. Mario goes to attack, but Wario was very close for a bite.)**

"This is kinda disturbing if you think about it." Jaune said.

"Kinda? He's about to eat his head." Weiss said.

**(Mario acts quickly and puts the bat between his teeth. Mario does a small combo and sends him back. The crowd was cheering.)**

"Okay, this fight is good!" Yang said.

**(Wario gets up and snaps the bats in two with his teeth out of anger. Waluigi then sees an item and tells Wario about it. It was an assist trophy.)**

"Who's it gonna be?" Ruby said.

**(Wario takes it and summons his assist, which was...)**

**Waluigi: Waaaaluigi!**

They all laughed.

"Why does that makes sense?"

**(They're both surprised. I mean, he was right next to him. Why would... forget it.)**

**Wario: Hurry up, will you? (He sends Waluigi to fight. He pulls out his tennis racket and runs to the fight. He tries to stomp Mario but he avoids it.)**

**Mario: Hey, stinky! (Waluigi tries to stomp him again bit Mario jumps over him. He avoids another stomp, making Waluigi angry.)**

**Wario: Get it, slowpoke! (Mario avoids another stomp and punches Waluigi back. But not Wario who tackled him with his shoulder.)**

"That's not fair! It's 2 against 1!"

"Well, if you think about it, it's still 1 on 1. The other guy is an item." Ren said.

**(Before Mario could get up, Waluigi started stomping him endlessly. Wario laughs at this, before noticing a fire flower. Waluigi then hits him with his racket, sending him up in the air. Wario throws the flower at him, making him absorb it.)**

**Wario: Fire! (He is in a position.)**

"What is he doing...?" Weiss said.

"Oh no, you've got to be kidding me..." Yang said.

**(Wario aims at Mario with his butt like it's a fricking cannon. He locks his target.)**

"He's aiming with his ass?" Blake said.

"Is he going to fart at Mario?!" Weiss said.

"But why the flower- no way!" Jaune said.

"Explosive farts!" Nora said.

"Aww, that's nasty." Yang said.

**Luigi: Mario! (He starts freaking out, until a starman appeared. Mario finally falls to the ground.)**

**Wario: Come on!**

**Waluigi: Waaaluigi time! (He shoots a fireball.)**

**Wario: Have a rotten day. (He farts at the fireball, creating a big stream of fire.)**

They all laughed.

"That must be the only fart joke I've ever laughed to!"

"It was the line at the end!" Nova said.

**(Mario screams in surprise as he sees the fire coming towards him. The fire hits Mario and causes an explosion, pushing everyone back.)**

**Peach: OH NOOOOOO! (The explosion died, revealing the crowd with their jaws hanging and their eyes wide open.)**

"Exactly us." Weiss said. After some silent seconds, they started laughing again.

**(It was silent. The Wario Bros, seeing, at the dust cloud where Mario is, that nothing's happening, they celebrated their victory as the crowd booed at them.)**

**Rawk Hawk: Hyeh hyeh! Talk about an explosive finale! The Great Gonzales is gonna need a Freezie for that burn!**

**Lakitu King: You said it, champ! I think Mario will be feeling that one in the morning. If there's anything left of him... What an upset! Mario was certainly the crowd favourite coming into this match. But it looks like Wario has this in the bag. I guess that's it, Smash fans! The winner of the first Mushroom Kingdom Smash Torunament is... (MGS Alert sound) WHOAH! Hold on a moment! What is that?!**

"And of course he's fine. It took him some time." Blake said.

**(The Wario Bros continue to gloat their victory, until Waluigi saw something. Then Wario saw it too. The dust cloud cleared off and the crowd cheered and shouting Mario's name, seeing that Mario was fine, thanks to the Starman. He did a pose, making the crowd shout more. The Wario Bros were shocked to see that he's okay.)**

**Toadsworth: Oh, my poor old heart! He sure had me for a moment there. (Peach sighs in relief.)**

**Wario: Oh no. Somebody cheated. (Then they noticed Luigi calling them and waving his hat. A flashback is shown, showing Luigi catching the Starman and throwing it at Mario before the fire hits him.)**

**Mario: Thank you so much! (Luigi laughs, feeling flattered and then gives a raspberry at the Wario Bros, making them really pissed.)**

"Wait... wasn't that cheating? I mean, I get that Waluigi was an assist trophy, but Luigi shouldn't do anything, because it was 1 on 1." Jaune said.

"You're right... he did cheat!" Weiss said.

"Noooo, they are good guys! Good guys don't cheat!" Ruby said.

**(Wario in his anger, grabbed Waluigi by the neck, and withe some cartoon physics, he turned him into a bat.)**

"What? A bat?" Pyrrha said.

"Aww, I thought he would make him a rocket launcher..." Nora said.

"... What?" Yang said.

**(Round 2 was about to start. Luigi jumped into the fight and gave Mario his hammer. Luigi took his and did some twirls with it, like Mario did, but he accidentally hit his head.)**

"Yes! IT'S HAMMER TIME!" Nora said.

**(Wario was gritting his teeth from rage. Everyone was ready. Wario charged at the Mario Bros.)**

**Wario: Here I go! (Suddenly Luigi notices something falling from the sky. It was a giant pink Bomb-Omb, surprising everyone.)**

"I'll be honest. That's the cutest bomb." Ruby said.

**(Wario skidded in halt, hitting at the bomb. The Bomb-Omb got angry and lit the fuse.)**

**Wario: Oh no! (The Mario Bros tried to ran away, but the bomb exploded. It sended the Wario Bros blasting off again.)**

**Peach: Mario! (The dust cloud cleared off, revealing the arena destroyed and no one there.)**

**Lakitu King: Wait a minute... That wasn't supposed to happen! The whole ring has been blown to pieces! What's going on down there?! (Mario was coming down by jumping on the falling debris, making a safe landing. But he wondered where was Luigi.)**

**Luigi: MARIOOOOOOO! (He crashed headfirst into the ground, startling Mario. Mario then sensed something. He turned back and saw up in the sky a shadowy figure. A familiar one. It was Bowser on his clown copter.)**

"Ohhh shit, it's Bowser!" Yang said.

**(Bowser jumped off it and then Kamek arrived on his broomstick.)**

"A magic turtle?" Ren said.

"Magi... cian..." Nora said to herself, adding it to her list.

**Kamek: Ladies and gentleshrooms! Presenting the great king of the Koopas and soon to be ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom! Give a big hand for the indomitable, the indestructible and the indigestible BOWSER! (The crowd boos as Boswer does his pose.)**

"The first time it was funny, but now it's annoying." Yang said.

**Bowser: Thank you! Thank you! It's great to be here! (He walks towards Mario.) It's been a while, my old nemesis. Sorry to crash your little "Mario Party". You know, I'm a little insulted that you didn't even bother to invite me to your pathetic little tournament.**

"Not inviting your own enemy? Not epic." Ruby said.

**Bowser: No matter. I figured now would be a perfect time to put my latest plan into action!**

**Lakitu King: Hold onto your seats, Smash fans. It looks like king Bowser is planning to kidnap the princess again! (That surprisingly shocked Bowser.)**

**Bowser: HEY! CLOUD BOY! HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT MY PLAN?! NOW SPILL! WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT IT?! (Mario falls back anime style.)**

Everyone facepalmed.

"How did he know... that's all you do!" Weiss said.

**Bowser: Bah! Whatever! Four-eyes McCloudbody only revealed half of my big plan.**

"What's the other? Destroy Mario?" Blake said.

"How did you know?!" Nora said.

**Bowser: But first, let me tell you a little story. One morning I was sitting down eating a hearty bowl of Koopa Krunchies. As I chowed down on my favourite cereal, I couldn't help but think, y'know? About how much I absolutely DESPISE YOU, MARIO!**

"Isn't a bit early to think that?" Ruby said.

**Bowser: Everything from your goody two shoes attitude. Your stupid hairy mug and your annoying, grating chipmunk voice!**

"I like how he's just looking at him like, _Why do you have to be mad?_" Yang said.

**Bowser: I could have conquered the world ten times over by now with Peach as my bride if it weren't for your constant meddling! (A training montage is shown) With that in mind, I started an intense training routine. Pushing my body to its limits and building my strength. Now I am stronger than ever and I shall use this newfound strength to finally put you deep into the ground! (Montage ends) And what better place to do that than right here in front of hundreds of your adoring fans! They shall bear witness as I beat the everliving tar out of you before I end your game for good! (Bowser ends his speech with a laugh. But Mario wasn't impressed and yawned, making Bowser angry.)**

"Ooooo, he's angry now." Nora said.

**Bowser: Oh? You don't think I can do it? Is that it? Well then, tough guy! Why don't you put your money where your mustache is! Put 'em up, ya mushroom munching moron! IT'S SHOWTIME! (Luigi screams in fear and runs away. Mario goes to him, as he curls and shakes in fear.)**

"Oh come on! Don't be such a wuss!" Yang said.

**Mario: Luigi! Let's-a go!**

**Luigi: Oh no!**

**Mario: Luigi!**

**Luigi: *trembles***

**Mario: Luigi!**

**Luigi: *trembles***

**Mario: Luigi!**

**Luigi: *trembles***

**Mario: LUIGI! (Luigi runs away again and Mario just sighs.)**

**Bowser: BWAHAHAH! Mr. Green 'Stache never fails to crack me up! (That comment angered Mario.) However! I shall find more amusement from smashing you into a bloody pulp! The underwhere awaits you!**

"Did he just say the underwear?" Jaune said.

"I think he meant the underworld." Ren said.

"Besides, the freaking dialog is on screen. Who could make a mistake?" Weiss said.

**(The fight starts as Bowser jumps at Mario for a slash.)**

"Yes!" Yang said.

**[Eyecatch]**

"Come on! An eyecatch?!"

**[Eyecatch]**

**(The fight starts differently, as the both run somewhere. Bowser stops to shoot a fireball. Of course Mario avoids them. Bowser shoots two more, but Mario avoids them and runs at him. Bowser also goes at Mario. He throws a punch but Mario jumped over him. Bowser turns around and gets elbowed in the face by Mario, sending him skid back. He then sees Mario in front of him.)**

**Mario: OOOOOOOOOOOOO, YA! (He kicks Bowser under the jaw, sending him back, landing on his shell and unable to get up.)**

They laughed a little.

"_I'm fallen! And I can't get up!_" Ruby said.

**(Mario rushes again at Bowser. Bowser then performs a spindash.)**

**Mario: Mamma mia! (Bowser stops and tries to slash him with his claws. Mario avoids them and jumps up for a kick. Bowser parries the kick with his fist. He then garbs Mario's foot and slams him to the ground. He then kicks him at Luigi, knocking him out, wow.)**

**Luigi: Mario?**

"Wait, he's knocked out already?" Yang said.

"I don't know if you noticed it but Bowser is a fucking monster." Blake said.

**(Bowser runs at him. He jumps to attack. Mario wakes up and avoids the stomp. But Luigi didn't and then he takes Bowser's punch right in the face, sending him crash at the seats, as the crowd was watching shocked.)**

Everyone winced at the hit.

"Why Luigi? He didn't do anything." Ruby said.

**Mario: LUIGI! (He takes out his hammer and goes for an attack while Bowser laughs. Bowser then quickly hides inside his shell. Mario starts striking the shell, but at the last hit, Bowser does his Up B and sends the hammer away. He jumps and performs his down aerial. Mario of course, gets out of the way. With this attack, Bowser created a big hole. Suddenly, the ground started shaking. Mario jumped out of the way, before Bowser comes out of the ground and hit him. Bowser kept making holes as Mario was avoiding him. Bowser came out behind him. But Mario predicted that and did a shin shoryuken, sending Bowser away. The crowd cheered for Mario.)**

"That was amazing!"

"I want to learn that move so badly!" Yang said.

**Lakitu King: Incredible! What an intense battle! The Koopa king appears to be down for now, but it's still anyone's game!**

**Peach: You can do it, Mario. I believe in you.**

"Wait... if this is a Smash Tournament, why isn't she fighting?" Pyrrha said.

"Because she's the princess and she's always a damsel in distress." Nova said.

"Laaaaaame. Make her kick some ass!" Nora said.

**(Bowser gets up and growls. He then charges up his fireball. Mario pulls out a fire flower and absorbs it. He raises his hands and charges his attack.)**

"Wait, a kamehameha?!" Jaune said.

"Nah, more like a hadouken." Yang said.

**(After they charge their attacks, they shoot their fireballs. The fireballs collide, making an explosion. Bowser clears the dust cloud and spits another fireball. Mario sees it and deflects it up before shooting a fireball. Bowseer deflects it and spits one. Mario deflects it and shoots another. Bowser eats it and shoots another. Mario jumps over it and shoots another. Bowser stomps it and shoots a big one to the sky.)**

"What is he doing?"

"I think that's a scatter shot." Jaune said.

**(Thi fire explodes, creating a rain of fire. The crowd screams and flees the scene as fireballs fall at the seats. Wrong, fireballs fall everywhere. Then Bowser thought of something as he looks left of Mario. Mario turns and sees that Bowser is focusing on Luigi, who's still unconscious. Bowser charges a fireball.)**

**Mario: Oh no!**

"That's a cheap trick!" Ruby said.

**(Bowser shoots the fireball and Mario runs to save him.)**

**Mario: LUIGI! (Mario makes it in time and parries the ball with his forward smash. Bowser is sure of his victory, but Mario sends it back, surprising Bowser. The fireball hits him, making an explosion. Mario rushes at him, but Bowser comes out of the dust and tries to slash Mario again. Mario avoids it and punches Bowser in the gut. But Bowser tanks it and performs his side B. Mario then shoots a fireball under him. The fireball comes up and hits Bowser in the face, letting him escape. Mario is standing on Bowser now.)**

"Smart move." Ren said.

**(Bowser sees that Mario is charging another fireball again. Mario launches his fireball, sending Bowser crash down at the seats with an explosion.)**

"Mario won!" Ruby said.

"I don't think it's over." Pyrrha said.

**(Mario lands safely and sees Bowser slowly getting up.)**

**Bowser: Rrrggghhh... owwww... that smarts... Not bad, Mario. You've certainly been taking your megavitamins lately. You're a lot tougher than before. (Mario takes off his hat at his compliment.) But, did you really think I didn't prepare for this outcome? Kamek! Now! (Kamek arrives.)**

**Kamek: A la PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES! (He spawns a metal mushroom.)**

"What mushroom is that? It looks... metallic." Jaune said.

**Bowser: BWAHAHAH! You thought you and your brother were the only ones that could use power ups? Check this out! (He eats the mushroom. He started growling as the transformation started.)**

**Lakitu King: Don't touch that remote, Smash fans! It looks like king Bowser is transforming into something! (The light dies, revealing Metal Bowser.)**

"The real thing starts now." Yang said.

**Bowser: AWWWW YEEEEAAAAH! How'd you like me now?! Say hello to "Metal Bowser"! AND GOODBYE TO YOUR WORTHLESS EXISTENCE! (Bowser runs at Mario and does a spindash.)**

**Mario: Mamma mia! (Mario avoids Bowser. Bowser turns back. Mario shoots fireballs but the do nothing. He is chased by Bowser. Mario gets out of the way as Bowser crashes at the seats. Mario rushes at him and kicks him in the head. But it hurt him. Bowser was laughing as Mario was holding his foot in pain.)**

"Can he even be hurt now?"

"I don't think so." Blake said.

**(Bowser grabs Mario's head and slams him in the ground. He then throws him up, jumps and hammers him down, sending him crash. Bowser then does his down B from that height.)**

"Imagine how stupid it would sound. Italian plumber died by a large ass." Nova said. That made some of them chuckle.

**(Mario sees it and jumps out of the way, backflipping to a safe distance. Bowser starts spitting fireballs, which Mario dodges with difficulty. As Mario runs away from the fireballs, he sees his hammer. He Naruto runs to it, grqbs it and dashes at Bowser. He whacks his head, but it still didn't do anything but making Mario vibrate like crazy and Bowser laughed. When he fell down, the hammer came and bonk'd his head like a drill, driving him in the ground.)**

Some of them laughed.

"Bonk!" Nora said.

"I don't like when they use cartoon physics in a serious fight. It ruins the whole thing." Weiss said.

"Same." Ren said.

"I think that's a nice change." Pyrrha said.

**(Mario struggled to free himself but Bowser hit him with his up B. He sent him up with an up smash. He jumped up, inside his shell and attacked Mario from different direction, before crushing him on the ground. He grabbed him and gave him a heavy punch, sending him crash at the seats. Mario slowly got up, tired.)**

**Bowser: Oh? So you want more of this, huh? You sure are a glutton for punishment. (Mario with his remaining strength raised his hands and charged his attack. He jumped high and continued charging. He then unleashed his final smash and Bowser didn't bother dodging. After the light died, Mario was panting and waiting to see what happened to Bowser.)**

"Do you think that did anything?" Ruby said.

"Well, since he didn't bother to dodge... probably not." Pyrrha said.

**Toadsworth: Phew. I can't handle all this excitement. Did he finally get that rapscallion? (Both him, Peach and Mario scream in shock, seeing that Bowser was fine.)**

"Wow, big shocker." Blake said.

**Bowser: Was that puny spark seriously your best? PATHETIC! WEAK! Tell you what. How about an old pro show you how it's done. Prepare to be schooled!**

"Why does he talk like that? Trying to be hip?" Weiss said.

"You never played the RPGs, you don't know." Nova said.

**(Bowser charges his attack. Mario decides to block it.)**

"No! Get out of the way!" Ruby said.

**(Bowser shoots the giant fire blast at Mario, as Mario is heard screaming. When the attack ended he was seen covered in soot. He lost the power up and passed out. Then Luigi now decides to wake up.)**

**Luigi: MARIO!**

**Peach: MARIOOO!**

**Bowser: BWAHAHAH! Oh how the mighty have fallen! To think you used to be a real pain in my shell way back when. Now look at you. Face down in the dirt like the lowly worm that you are. Broken and helpless, with no one around to save you. Oh well. No point beating around the bush. I have waited a long time for this moment. GAME OVER, MARIO!**

"Wow, there's actually a line of him saying that." Yang said.

**(But then he sees something that surprised him. Luigi in front of Mario.)**

"Aww... kinda late but wholesome." Nora said.

**Peach: Luigi...!**

**Bowser: Hmm? So you finally woke up, mr. Green 'Stache? You should have stayed unconscious if you knew what was good for you. (Luigi stays there to protect Mario.) Heh. Seriously? Do you really think a wimpy coward like you can protect him from me? Since I am in such a good mood, I'll allow you to scurry off and hide. Unless you want to get flame broiled alongside your brother? (Luigi is afraid but he's also determined.) Very well then! You can regret your decision in the afterlife! Both you and Mario shall die together! (Bowser charges another blast. Everything seems to be over.)**

**Peach: Please! Star Spirits! Somebody! ANYBODY! PLEASE HELP US!**

**Lakitu King: Oh, this is truly terrible, Smash fans! Mario is down for the count. IS THIS THE END?! HAS BOWSER FINALLY WON?! **

**Rawk Hawk: Yo, Gonzales! You'd better not lose or I will come down and RAAAWWWWK YOU MYSELF! (But no one noticed the blue energy ball over the arena expanding.)**

"Is that robot again?" Jaune said.

**(The ball disappeared and in its place a capsule appeared and fell down. Lakitu King sees it and flees while screaming as the capsule passes by them. Bowser was ready charging his attack, but the capsule fell on him and bounced at the seats. Apparently that capsule was enough to shatter and destroy the metal.)**

"That destroyed the metal?! Really?!" Weiss said.

"That was pure luck."

**Bowser: Unngghh... what the heck was that? (Then he realises that he was back to normal.) WHAT THE...! WHERE DID MY METAL FORM GO?! Kamek! Quick! Toss me another metal 'shroom!**

**Kamek: Errr... sorry. No can do, your rudeness. We're fresh out of metal 'shrooms...**

"How? He's a wizard. Can't he just create another one?" Blake said.

**Bowser: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "FRESH OUT"? YOU'RE A GOSH DARNED MAGIKOOPA! CAN'T YOU CONJURE ONE UP, YOU IMBECILE?! (Luigi opens his eyes to see that Bowser wasn't metal anymore. He turned to Mario and tried to get him up, but he couldn't. So he gave him a one-up mushroom. Mario wakes up and shakes off the soot.)**

**Mario: Just what I needed! (Luigi laughs in excitement.)**

**Bowser: Bah! I don't need the metal 'shroom to beat Mario now. I'll just mosey on over and... (He turns at him and gets shocked, seeing him coming towards him.)**

"You were saying?" Yang said.

**(Mario pulls out a cape feather and absorbs it.)**

"Now we're talking!"

"Wait, if he had that, couldn't he used that before?" Weiss said.

**(Mario jumps and flies towards Bowser. He dodges an incoming punch by around him and kicking him in the face. Mario follows him and punches him high. He follows him again and punches Bowser in the gut. He kicks him and gives him a barrage of punches.)**

"YES!" Yang shouted.

**Mario: ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA! WAATATATATATATATATATATATA! WATAAA! (He ends it with a strong punch, sending him away. He follows him and stomps him, sending him crash down. He decides to finish the fight by flying down to hit him. But stops when he hears Peach screaming. Kamek aims his wand at her.) Oh no!**

"Oh come on! That's not fair!" Ruby said.

**Kamek: That's enough, Mario! I suggest you cease your attack or else the princess gets it!**

**Peach: No! Don't listen to him, Mario! You have to keep fighting! You have to defeat Bowser! (And Mario continues his attack.)**

"So he's going to let her die."

**(Bowser opens his eyes and screams, seeing Mario coming to punch him. And Mario does it. The dust clears and Bowser was okay. Because Mario punched the ground next to him. He looked up and glared at Kamek.) **

**Kamek: NYEHEHEH! I knew he wouldn't have the guts to go through with it while your safety is on the line!**

"Why does she have to be so useless?!" Weiss said.

**Kamek: Now, Mario. I suggest you be a good boy and, or else princess Peach here will be living the rest of her life as a Goomba. (Mario was veery angry, but he accepted. Bowser walks behind him.)**

**Bowser: How very resourceful of you, Kamek. Even the most steadfast of heroes will fold when theres a hostage involved. (He raises his claw to end Mario.) Now, hold still, Mario. I will make this quick and painless! (Without anyone noticing, the capsule opened and out of it got two silhouettes. One of them jumped towards them.)**

"Sonic and Shadow? This is getting better and better!" Ruby said.

**Kamek: NYEHEHEH! FI- (The dialogue window gets blocked by the silhouette.)**

**? (Obviously Sonic): TERIAAAA! (Kicks Kamek and the dialogue window away.)**

**Kamek: *Goofy holler* (He gets blasted off again.)**

Some of them laughed.

"He even kicked the dialogue!"

"What was that scream?" Pyrrha said.

"You'll learn soon." Nova said.

**Bowser: Huh? Kamek? Where'd you go? (Mario takes his chances and spins Bowser with his side B. He then dashes and dropkicks Bowser. Now that he's down, Mario grabs his tail and spins him.)**

"Come on, say it!" Nora said.

**Mario: So long, king (gay) Bowser! (He throws him far away. Luigi laughs.)**

"Yes!"

**Luigi: Bye bye!**

**Bowser: *Tom scream* (He crashes at the screen, breaking it. He then falls to the ground.)**

"That was an amazing fight!" Ruby said.

**Lakitu King: He's done it, Smash fans! Mario has overcome all odds and emerged victorious against the evil tyrant!**

**Rawk Hawk: HAW HAW! Not bad, Gonzales! Of course, if that had been me down there, I would have RAAAWKED that dumb reptile within seconds! AWWWW YEEEEEAAHHH! Don't mess with the champ!**

"Then why didn't you go down there and helped?!"

**This game's winner is... MARIO! (Both brothers do a victory pose... with Luigi accidentally dropping his hat.)**

**Toadsworth: Oh my goodness... that was a little too close for comfort... I need to go take a nap... (Luigi gets his hat back and sees something that scared him and hides behind Mario. Mario sees the two hedgehogs too and prepares for battle.)**

**Sonic: Hey, pal! You wouldn't happen to be Mario, right? (Mario nods.) Sweet! Looks like we're in the right place.**

**After a long and epic struggle, Mario was once able to triumph over his arch-nemesis, the evil king Bowser. But Mario's victory was part in thanks to the timely arrival of these strange visitors. Who could these strangers be? Where did the come from? Are they friwnds or are they foes? And what could they possibly want with Mario? Find out in the next episode of SUPER MARIO BROS Z!**

**[Credits]**

"I want to see more." Jaune said.

"Well, there are more episode. That was the reboot of the first two episodes. You can continue from episode 3." Nova said.

"Not to complain but why wasn't Tails with Sonic?" Ruby said.

"Oh, that's a spoiler question. He's dead like the rest."

"Dead...?!"

"See episode 3 and you'll understand. Anyway, we'll see one more video and then I'll leave."

"Why?"

"Because you have a tournament to train for. I'll only come at night now, so you can train."

"That's a nice solution." Weiss said.

**And done! Like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!**


	87. Gender equality

**I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes and grammar mistakes.**

**Chapter 83:**** Women get a taste of the gender equality they've always wanted (by Red Pill Philosophy)**

"What will you show us now?" Jaune said.

"Well... you may or may not like what I'll show you now. First of all, do you know what I like from this world?" Nova said.

"What?" Ruby said.

"Equality. I see a very educated and progressive society- FOR the most part."

"Okay, continue." Blake said.

"Well, I think I told you that on Earth, that's not the case."

"Yes, racism against race, nation, gender, age, and religion." Rwn said.

"Don't forget sexual preferences. What about it?" Blake said.

"Well, I'll show you something educational that YouTube took down." Nova said and started the video.

**(It starts with a very old educational video about manners, with the title "Mind your manners!".)**

**Narrator: Good manners make good first impressions. When Jack leaves the house with a lady, it's "ladies first".**

"I kinda like these films. Shows us the lifestyle of that era." Pyrrha said.

**Narrator: What about manners when the bus comes? That's right, of course. "Ladies first". Now, about getting off the bus, should Jack get off first? Yes, he can give ladies a hand. And the girls, let the men help. They enjoy it.**

"This would kinda get annoying. I mean, you go to your business and this guy is annoying you with his nice actions. I'm busy, stop bothering me, I can do things myself!" Yang said.

"Those were different times." Nova said.

"But then again, he's acting nice..." Ruby said.

"Yeah, but from a point and on, it's annoying." Weiss said.

**(We go forward in time to the 1970s. It shows women protesting about equal rights.)**

_**Sisterhood is powerful**_

_**Join us now!**_

_**Sisterhood is powerful**_

_**Join us now!**_

"A protest?" Blake said.

"Yeah, for equal rights." Nova said.

"But... they were treated with kindness..." Ruby said.

"But that's the only thing they get." Weiss said.

"Exactly. The rest of the day are inside the house, while their husband is at work, and do chores, like the dishes, laundry and etc. And the ones who were working, their payment weren't the same as a man's. And the jobs were limited. Only the women with enough fame and money would enjoy life to the fullest. And that was only in the US! In Europe it was even worse. And in Asia, they had little to no freedom!" Nova said.

"Really?" Jaune said.

"In middle East, they still don't have rights."

"Even now?!" Yang said.

"Yeah! They're not even allowed to show their faces in public! Either only the single ones or the married ones. I don't remember."

"This is unbelievable!" Pyrrha said.

"That's not fair at all! Just because we're women." Nora said.

"Yeah, that sucks." Nova said.

**(Sorry to disappoint you but I couldn't understand what that woman said. Anyway she said that women just want what men had all these years, as it's repeated in slow motion. Now we travel forward in time, in 2015.)**

**Today: Post-feminism**

**(It shows a montage of women attacking men for no reason or to be superior.)**

"What? Why are they doing that? Did the bother them?" Jaune said.

"No. There's no reason."

"What do you mean no reason? You can't just hit people for no reason." Weiss said.

"Feminists do. They went too far."

"And men are not attacking because they'll call them sexist?" Ruby said.

"Yes."

"Well sorry, but that logic is pretty retarded." Blake said.

"THANK YOU!"

**Whoopi Goldberg: You have to teach women, do not live with this idea that men have the chivalry thing still with them. So don't be surprised, if you hit a man and he hits you back!**

**(Random clip 1)**

**Bitch 1: Goddamn bitch! Fuck that shit! What are you gonna do? Hit a girl?**

"You probably deserve it." Yang said.

**(Random clip 2)**

**(A woman pushes a man back, probably because he's nice.)**

**(Random clip 3)**

**(A girl hits a guy for fun.)**

"Who would do that for fun?! Is she stupid?!" Weiss said.

**(Random clip 4)**

**Bitch 2: What the fuck are you going to do?!**

**Guy: Oh my god, why are you still standing in front of my face?!**

**Bitch 2: I said, what are you gonna do?**

**Guy: I'm not gonna do shit, get out of my face!**

"What's her problem?" Ruby said.

**(Random clip 5)**

**News anchor: It's 4 o'clock on a Sunday afternoon, a woman swing a bag at a bus martial, then calls for a heavier weapon.**

**Bitch 3: Gimme ya scooter, bra.**

"Why?! What is wrong with them?!" Ruby said.

**(Random clip 6) **

**(Woman attacks a bus driver)**

"That's not how handle a situation, you can't just beat the bus driver! He's the one the gets you to your destination!" Nora said.

**(Random clip 7)**

**(A woman is attack a guy in a metro.)**

**(Tupac interview before feminism)**

**Tupac: I'm extra nice, y'know I'm extra gentleman, I'm extra, I'm like you're beautiful, you deserve the best and... she said I was too nice. I couldn't believe it... It couldn't work because I was too nice. That was the ultimate stab in the back.**

"Aww, poor guy... he tried so hard." Pyrrha said.

"Rest in peace." Nova said.

**(Tupac interview after feminism)**

**Tupac: Stop giving these bitches all the attention! So you need to start trekking these bitches! We need to start telling them fuck this bitches, man! If you fuck with a cool female that's all good, but if you fuck with a bitch, you need to break her ass and shake her ass! (Repeats in slow motion.)**

**(Back to clip 7, the man had enough. Goldberg's words are in the background as the guy slaps the bitch hard. Everyone inside was like OHHHHHHHHH! A gender equality meter appears and right now it's at red.)**

"OHHHH SHIT!" Yang said.

"Yeah, fight back!" Nora said.

**(Back to clip 6, the bus driver has enough and knocks her out with an uppercut.)**

"Daaamn!" Yang said.

"He knocked her out!" Pyrrha said.

**A woman in the bus: Nah nah nah! That's a fucking female!**

**Bus driver: I don't care! She wanna be a man, I'm gon' treat you like a man!**

"You said it man!" Nora said.

**(Back to clip 1. The bitch punches the guy, showing his nose bleeding.)**

"I bet when she gets hit, she'll start crying." Blake said.

**(Back to clip 2. The woman dares him to hit her. She pushes her down. The meter goes to green.)**

**(Back to clip 4. After that bitch yells at him she leaves. But the comes back to fight him, but he throws her down.)**

**(A clip from the montage where a woman kicked a guy in the balls, the guy hits her, making her crash into glass.)**

**(Clip 2 again. She gets up, but the guy punches her down.)**

**(Clip 3. The guy was bleeding. And I think it was coming from the eye.)**

"Yes! Hit her! I can't stand that idiot!" Weiss said.

**(His friend hold her. The bitch doesn't give a shit. The guy punches her in the face. It's then shown that her mouth is bleeding. He probably broke her teeth.)**

"Yeah, after that you deserved to get your teeth broken." Yang said.

**(Clip 1 again. The guy punches her and she falls to the trash.)**

**Bitch 1: What the fuck? What the fuck?! What the fu-hu-hu-hu-uck?! Call 911! Do it! (She starts crying.)**

They all laughed.

"You asked for it." Blake said.

**(Back to the old training film.)**

**Narrator: More good manners. (A woman was going to an office, but she accidentally drops her stuff. A man next to her helps her lift them.) She'll remember good manners. And that makes Jack raid high with her. (Repeats in slow motion)**

**Tupac: She said I was too nice. I can't couldn't believe it.**

"That was... educational." Weiss said.

"But why was it taken down?" Ruby said.

"Because feminists took it as hate speech." Nova said.

"Well, it looked like it, but it wasn't wrong." Pyrrha said.

"And you probably solved that problem years ago. If you do the same thing with faunus, this world will become a paradise. Well, I guess I must go now."

"WAIT!" Nora said.

"What is it?"

"I haven't seen your future yet!"

"Nora-"

"No, it's okay. It won't hurt. Okay, tell me my future." Nova interrupted Ren.

"Yes!" Nora said. She quickly went near a power outlet and shoved her finger in it. She got cartoonigly hit by electricity. After that, she pointed at Nova. "_You will soon experience the greatest sadness! But after the darkness, you will bring light again!_". Everyone was shocked by this.

"That sounded like something my brother would be destined for. Okay, see you later!". Nova then left.

* * *

He appeared in his house, in the lounge. "Hey, you're back." Fiona said, having Candy on her shoulder, which I totally didn't forget.

"Hey babe. Were you training your Pokémon?"

"Yeah, and she's getting stronger. Isn't that wight, you cute wittle thing?"

"Eevee!"

"Nice to hear." Nova said.

"Hey... what's going on? What are you thinking about?"

* * *

_FLASHBACK_

"Those ideas are actually great. We can actually go further and evolve as human beings." Ozpin said.

"Thanks for the talk Oz. I'm going back to the kids now.". He got up and walked to the elevator. But suddenly he stopped. "Come on. Say it."

"What do you mean?"

"About Salem. You want me to destroy her. I told you my answer is no."

"But with your power-"

"Do you think I'm an idiot? You think that I don't see your little strategy? That I'm just a pawn, the game changer, in this giant chess board, which is called Remnant? The kids didn't realise it, but I did."

"It wasn't my choice."

"I know. You're a victim. Your gods are big assholes. You know, my Father once did the same. On Earth, it's known as the story of Noah and his ark. But at least he left some people alive, along with two animals of every species. And okay, the repopulation part was a little fucked up because of incest, but still. A good father would never kill his children. But that doesn't excuse you anymore."

"I know. I made so many mistakes."

"And she keeps winning. You used so many people in hope that you would win. But all of them died. Most of them because of her. Just like Ruby's mom, right."

"..."

"I see the guilt is coming back, huh. I'll leave now. But I'll tell you this. If anything happens to my friends, I'll blame you Oz. I'll punish Salem and then... I'll destroy your gods."

"The gods...?!"

"What? You think those second-class bastards are a problem for me? I thought you knew me better.". And with that, he entered the elevator and left.

* * *

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"It's nothing. I'm feeling for some sushi. Do you want to come?"

"Mmm~! I'd love some sushi now!"

"Good. Call the girls and let's go to Japan, before a pandemic starts."

**And done! Next time I'll do something special. The moment I was waiting for has arrived! Last chance to guess which 3 cartoons I'll do. Like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!**


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